(train whistle blows)
VOICEOVER: "A man fills" many roles in his lifetime...
provider, protector, master of the house.
As a father, you have a vital role in your family's life.
They depend on you to be there.
We help to make sure you can fulfill that promise because...
no matter what they call you...
at the end of the day, you know you're just... Dad.
Confederate Family Insurance
for over 100 years protecting a people... and their property.
VOICEOVER: You're watching Channel 6,
San Francisco, the city by the bay...
Confederate Television.
Tonight, the most anxiously awaited television event of the decade.
See the controversial film from Britain
that shook our beloved nation and created a national scandal.
In response to popular demand it will be shown tonight,
uncensored and in its entirety.
Held from the American airwaves for nearly two years,
"C.S.A." is next!
From the very beginnin', it was deadly serious.
This was no interim idea or experiment.
The principal founding fathers were all Southern.
They saw themselves in the best tradition
of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.
NARRATOR: "In their eyes, they would" lead a second American Revolution.
See, Bobby, the richest Americans were concentrated in the South.
But Mr. Johnson, the North had significant industry...
wouldn't "they" have been wealthier?
Remember, Bobby, cotton was America's number one export.
This made Southerners, as well as Northern textile mills,
very wealthy.
So cotton was king!
Boy howdy! Slaves must have been pretty important then, huh?
And how!
NARRATOR: By 1860, a young prime field hand
would sell for as much as a luxury car would today.
Jeepers!
American slaves represented more capital
than any other asset in the entire nation!
(cash register ka-chings)
Golly, Mr. Johnson,
America was "always" a slave-based economy!
That's right, Bobby. And that's why we fought for it.
MAN: "If I could save the Union" without freeing any slave, I would do it.
"And if I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it.
"What I do about slavery and the colored race
I do because I believe it helps to save the Union."
Abraham Lincoln.
NARRATOR: "By January 1861," most people in the American South
believed the election of Republican president Abraham Lincoln
would terminate their ownership of Negroes.
A provisional government was formed,
and Jefferson Davis of Mississippi was elected president.
The new seal of the Confederacy expressed the vision of the young nation.
Surrounded by a bountiful agricultural Eden,
at its center is George Washington on horseback.
Washington, a Virginian and slaveholder,
would become the father of the Confederacy.
In very little time,
the Confederacy defined itself as an independent, sovereign nation.
One man from Virginia remarked,
"Hellfire, if I had known it was gonna be that easy,
I'd cut loose from the Yankee years ago."
NARRATOR: "Meanwhile," the Union victory at Antitem
gave President Lincoln the opportunity to make a revolutionary proclamation.
"LINCOLN: "I do" order "and declare" that all persons held as slaves
"within said designated states and parts of states
are and henceforward shall be free."
NARRATOR: "The proclamation" did not free a single slave.
It was purely symbolic
and used by Lincoln to frame the war in moral intent.
President Davis countered so-called emancipation
by sending Judah P. Benjamin
to negotiate the military and financial involvement
of the foreign powers Britain and France.
Benjamin, a Jew and the South's most brilliant legal mind,
defied anti-Semitic attitudes to become Secretary of State
and President Davis' chief advisor.
Benjamin matched Lincoln
by wisely promoting the Southern cause of states' rights...
not as the preservation of slavery, but as the freedom of private property.
Benjamin's gambit worked.
Fighting for freedom, not slavery,
opened the avenue for Europe's entrance into the war.
With the assistance of several divisions of British and French troops,
Lee's armies at Gettysburg routed the Union forces.
When those federal soldiers saw those French and British troops
moving up on line on either side of Lee's flanks,
many of 'em just broke and ran.
NARRATOR: And in a matter of months,
Southern troops took the nation's capital,
capturing the White House.
But there was no sign of President Lincoln.
In a small house outside Washington, D.C.,
on April 9, 1864,
General Ulysses S. Grant surrendered to General Robert E. Lee.
The bloody conflict had finally ended.
It became the primary objective of Confederate forces
to locate and arrest the now-deposed President Lincoln.
Confederate forces were everywhere.
A desperate Lincoln turned to Harriet Tubman.
Tubman, wanted, with a huge bounty on her head,
would the last resort for a president literally running for his life.
Tubman's underground railroad was a series of way stations
that organized the escape of over 200 slaves
out of the United States, to freedom.
But her dearest passenger would require Tubman's most ingenious plan to date.
WOMAN: She chose to disguise
President Lincoln in blackface
and travel with him along one of her many secret slave routes.
When Lincoln scoffed at the plan, Tubman, never one to mince words,
reminded him of the huge bounty on his head.
She said simply, "We're both niggers now... Mr. President."
NARRATOR: A crack battalion of Confederate troops
was dispatched from Detroit to locate and arrest Lincoln and Tubman
before they could escape into Canada.
Lincoln and Tubman were captured trying to cross Lake St. Clair.
President Abraham Lincoln was now a prisoner of the Confederate Army.
In 1915, the capture of Lincoln as also dramatized
in D. W. Griffith's silent film classic "The Hunt for Dishonest Abe."
(piano accompanies silent film)
Jefferson Davis, on learnin' of Mr. Lincoln's capture in blackface,
termed the arrest "symbolic."
NARRATOR: A quick trial was convened,
and former-President Lincoln was convicted of war crimes
against the Southern Nation.
He was imprisoned in Fortress Monroe near Norfolk, Virginia.
It was from the window of his damp cell that he watched the execution
of the woman who runaway slaves called "Moses."
Tubman knew on her capture that she would be executed
for her many crimes against the South.
TUBMAN: "I'd rather die fightin'" to free others from this evil nation
than live within it another minute as a slave."
There were many who were clamorin' for Mr. Lincoln's execution also,
but President Davis understood that sparing Lincoln's life
would ease tensions in the North.
A wise man, he was already lookin' to the future.
NARRATOR: After serving two years,
a frail and gaunt Lincoln was granted a full pardon
and exiled to Canada.
He never returned to his homeland.
In June 1905, shortly before his death,
he granted a rare interview from Montreal.
LINCOLN: "I failed to see it.
The abolitionists understood what the consequences would be.
They knew it was always about the Negro, but I was blind.
Now I see.
I see what our once-great country has become.
I only wish that I had truly cared for the Negro...
truly cared for his freedom,
for his equality.
I used him, now I am used.
Now I, too, am a Negro... without a country.
I pray that someday the colored people of Confederate America will be free.
A nation stained with the blood of injustice cannot stand.
I only regret that...
I shall not live to see it fall.
HOYLE: When Mr. Lincoln died in exile in Canada,
he was a lonely and bitter man...
disgraced, abandoned...
almost entirely forgotten by history.
Today he's only remembered as
the man who lost the war of Northern aggression.
(engine running)
(engine off)
I'm so tired of eating dust. I've tried everything, and nothin' works.
Is there "anything" that can make this car faster?
Try some of this, sport.
- Duke Cooter! - Duke Cooter!
Sambo X-15 is specially formulated for the way America drives.
It blasts and cleans away those stubborn black deposits
that rob your engine of power.
It lubricates and protects!
Listen to her purr! Thanks, Duke.
Don't thank me. Thank Sambo X-15.
It's what the pros use.
- When may I expect dinner, Beulah? - Presently, Mr. Harry, presently.
VOICEOVER: What would the noontime be
without the classic "Leave it to Beulah"?
Beulah, who's always in the kitchen...
...but never seems to know what's cookin'!
NARRATOR: "The victory was cause" for grand celebration.
Plantations throughout the South were the center of jubilant parties
welcoming back the troops,
returning them to a now-blessed and triumphant way of life.
With the stroke of a pen,
President Davis annexes the United States.
The symbols of the old government are removed.
It becomes the Confederate States of America.
"Dixie," a former minstrel show tune, written, ironically, by a Northerner,
replaces the National Anthem.
President Davis quickly left Richmond
and moved the office of the presidency to Washington and the White House.
But two problems would follow.
MAN: "We were surrounded.
"He say, 'Lay down your arms and go back to your plantations, or die.'
"Our wives and children, all of us, we say, 'Fight.'
"These rebs come at us in waves, screamin' like they do.
"Our ammunition gone, they slaughtered us...
"women, children... didn't matter.
"He spared me and my family.
"He say to me, 'My name is Colonel Nathan Bedford Forrest,
"and your nigger soul shall live to testify our superiority.'
Then they shot my wife and boy."
Moses Butler, First Kansas Volunteers.
MAN #2: "They looked to the generals" and asked, 'Why?
"Why was it necessary "to burn and pillage? '
"They remember the once-beautiful New York City...
"the historic Boston, Massachusetts.
"They see them in ruin, and wonder why.
"Yet during the war those same people demanded,
"Win! Conquer! Kill the Yankees!"
"Nothing good will ever come of war.
War is hell."
General Robert E. Lee.
NARRATOR: "The fate of millions" of black slaves seemed settled
when a surprising call for emancipation arose
from an even more surprising source.
LEE: "I again assert that Virginia" and the South as a whole
"would fare better if she could get rid of the Negro population.
They will be a cause of serious trouble in our attempt to hold them."
NARRATOR: Lee would cause a firestorm of debate
over what to do with the post-war slaves.
A dashing freshman congressman from Virginia would take the floor
and establish himself as the leader of the pro-slavery position.
It is said that John Ambrose Fauntroy
could persuade any colleague from his position
or charm any woman from her dress.
FAUNTROY: "We have always known" that the honorable General Lee
"was a secret emancipationist.
"However, the noble gentleman
"knows more of military matters than civil affairs.
"Dear friends, the Colored is not ready for freedom.
"To free him is to make him an orphan.
Liberty would be a great curse to the race."
Congressman John Ambrose Fauntroy, 1865.
NARRATOR: President Davis, however,
approached the question from a practical point of view.
Davis was having one of his many sleepless nights.
He was down in the kitchen with Varina, his wife,
when his faithful servant, Ol' Popsy, brought him a cup of hot coffee.
And over that cup of coffee, they would alter the course of history.
NARRATOR: The moment was captured
in the 1946 RKO film "The Jefferson Davis Story."
The role of Popsy is played by the renowned Shakespearean actor
Sir Frederick Littlefield.
VARINA: Come to bed, Jefferson.
- You haven't slept all night. - How can I sleep, Varina?
I must find a way to unite this country.
(Popsy chuckling)
I heard Miss Varina stirring. I knew you were up again.
Lawd, sir, what am I gonna do with you?
Jefferson, you've tried so. Don't make yourself ill.
Mm-hmm. You sho' nuff have, suh.
You done all a man can do, suh.
I know, I know, but...
I must find a way to bring the North into our way of life.
If I don't, it may spell disaster.
Master President?
May an old no-account darkie like me axe a question, sir?
- Yes, what is it, Popsy? - Well, Master President,
I heard folks say back long ago
that them Northern folks had slaves.
Yes, they did, Popsy. Years ago.
Well, Master, supposin'... just supposin' now...
they owned them "again..." just like in the old days.
It was good to 'em once,
might be good to 'em... again.
My God!
That's it!
JOHNSON: Ironically,
it was the old slave who gave President Davis the notion
that would rejuvenate the institution of slavery
and direct the country's path for centuries to come.
The Davis plan took the form of an income tax
designed to rebuild the North.
Still, former Unionists did have another option.
The entire tax, collected only from former Union citizens,
could be abated with the purchase of household or industrial slaves.
The choice was yours.
NARRATOR: To manage the plan,
Davis selected Congressman John Ambrose Fauntroy.
We spoke with the congressman's great-grandson,
John Ambrose Fauntroy V,
the Democratic nominee for president,
at his Washington, D.C., campaign headquarters.
Horace. Lindsay?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Horace's family, uh, has been with our family...
oh, geez, for how many generations now?
- Since the beginning, sir. - Yeah.
- He's like family to us. - Pleasure meeting you, Horace.
FAUNTROY V: Great-grandfather, he...
oh, he welcomed the appointment.
See, he was a student of human nature,
so he... well, he easily predicted the choice that the Northerners would make.
And he was humored by the sudden moral confusion of the abolitionists.
He called the whole thing a giant garden party for the nation.
NARRATOR: "Stray Negroes," free and slave,
children, the elderly,
or anyone with dark skin who could not prove Caucasian ancestry,
were arrested and placed in cattle pens in most major Northern cities.
Former Southern owners traveled for hundreds of miles
to sort through the thousands of black faces
and claim their escaped property.
Most perplexed about their fate under the plan
were those of mixed racial background.
A small number of so-called mulatto slave owners
existed in South Carolina and other Southern states.
Formerly called Free Men of Color,
under the Davis Plan the "One Drop Statute"
constituted their inclusion to the breed.
Mixed-race slaveholders were sold right along with their full-blooded slaves.
As one slave put it, "Light, bright, damn sure ain't white."
NARRATOR: "Abolitionists rallied" to combat the Davis Plan.
Walt Whitman penned this protest "in the" Brooklyn Eagle:
"Slavery is a good thing to the rich, the one out of thousands,
"but it is destructive to the dignity and independence
of all who work, and to labor itself."
But Fauntroy countered:
"We are immigrants from different countries,
"different backgrounds, different languages.
"Only one tie holds us all together: Our white ancestry.
"But this slavery is afforded not just for the rich,
"but for every man according to his color.
"I wish to God every head of a family in this great land had one slave
to take the drudgery and menial service off the family."
JOHNSON: Northerners began to appreciate
what Southerners had always known:
It's good to be the master.
NARRATOR: "A secret meeting was" held in the home of Susan B. Anthony
to respond to the success of the Davis Plan.
There, William Lloyd Garrison read his now-famous letter
"Why We Must Leave."
GARRISON: "We are living" under a brutal slave oligarchy
"that now threatens to starve us if we do not do their evil bidding.
"Will I make a compact with the slaveholder?
"The man who plunders cradles,
"scourges women with the lash till the soil is red with blood?
"Never, my dear friends.
Simply, we must leave."
NARRATOR: "About 20,000 whites," mostly Northerners,
followed Garrison across the border to Canada.
Among the notable expatriates were Harriet Beecher Stowe,
Henry David Thoreau,
Mark Twain,
Ralph Waldo Emerson,
and the outspoken Wendell Phillips.
PHILLIPS: "It does not surprise me" that the North
"has taken to this monstrous plan.
"There were always just a few true abolitionists.
"For if the North were ever against slavery,
it would not have lasted these many years."
NARRATOR: "Another to leave" was the suffragette Susan B. Anthony.
Anthony would lead a women's movement in Canada,
gaining the vote for women in 1912.
One particular incident that really got the attention of the country
was the matter of Cassie Brown in 1875.
Cassie was a slave woman who brutally murdered
the three white children in her charge and escaped.
And she was never captured.
BROWN: "It hurts me to my soul" that I took them children's lives.
"I loved them children, I swear I did.
"I had me three children once ago.
"They was took off and sold from me.
"Them white babies wasn't my children,
"and I wasn't they mama.
No woman can be mama who ain't free."
Cassie Brown, 1875.
HOYLE: For the first time, people began to wonder
could they trust their black Mammy?
NARRATOR: "Slave owners" left befuddled at the behavior
of their beloved slaves,
turned to Dr. Samuel A. Cartwright of the University of Louisiana,
a highly respected and widely published member
of the American Medical Association.
Cartwright, considered an expert on Negro diseases and peculiarities,
had made a major breakthrough with his discovery of Drapetomania.
Drapetomania is a disease which causes slaves to run away.
From the Latin "drapto," meaning "to flee,"
and "mania," an obsession.
Thus Dr. Cartwright believed Drapetomania to be
the root cause of all runaways.
Amazingly, his research would influence
an entire generation of medical thought.
CARTWRIGHT: "A slave is like a child
"and should be treated with care.
"However, when a slave becomes sulky
"or dissatisfied,
then I prescribe whippin' the devil out of him."
Dr. Samuel A. Cartwright, 1870.
NARRATOR: John Ambrose Fauntroy,
who many call the father of modern slavery,
received the Democratic presidential nomination in 1880,
but suffered a debilitating stroke weeks later.
He died in 1882.
The Fauntroy family would capture the imagination of the nation
for years to come.
A political dynasty, many consider the talented family American royalty.
I wanted a career working firsthand with doctors
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(parody of "Cops" theme song plays)
NARRATOR: While the Davis Plan rebuilt the cities,
a psychological reconstruction would be instrumental
in giving birth to a new nation.
Confederate leaders knew it was necessary
to reconstruct the minds of its slaves and citizens.
This would become what some called the American Holocaust.
Reconstruction would see to it that moral authority was reestablished.
Many called it "gentle reminder."
JOHNSON: Douglass and Garrison responded to these horrors
by organizing fugitive slaves, free blacks, Canadians,
and former U.S. Citizens into a new organization...
the N.A.A.C.P...
the National Association for the Advancement of Chattel People.
NARRATOR: A Confederate delegation
met with Prime Minister Sir John A. McDonald
and demanded the immediate return of all Negro property
located within the Canadian territory.
JOHNSON: These were the darkest days since the overturning of emancipation.
In the final hour, Frederick Douglass was called before Parliament to speak.
DOUGLASS: "Gentlemen, the Negro" is only a darker version of yourself.
"He has little to offer but the sweat of his brow,
"the culture of his soul, and his good will.
"The Negro's only demand is freedom.
My dear brothers, stand with us in our fight for freedom."
The oratory of Douglass swayed the needed votes against deportation.
However, the executions and tortures had scared most slaves into submission.
Until the very end, until his death in 1895,
Douglass fought against slavery in the former United States.
FAUNTROY V: Yes, it's...
it's over a hundred years ago, but...
but we have never forgotten this Red Canadian injustice.
This... stolen property, the lost labor...
must and will be repaid.
Simply put, it's a debt...
a debt that we demand in the form of monetary reparations for slavery.
NARRATOR: "Confederate" reconstruction efforts
were curtailed by the ongoing conflict with the Plains Indians.
Land-hungry pioneers, gold prospectors,
and expanding railroads wanted to move
from the bustling South into the Great Plains.
The Indians would have to be eliminated.
The government and their church leaders instructed that, quote:
"The Great Spirit gave the white man the Book,
the red man the arrow, and the black man the hoe."
They took our children from us.
Children were forcibly removed and sent to "boarding schools."
These boarding schools were nothing more than total institutions
for the complete eradication of their native heritage and pride.
One of my elders once told me,
"I've observed the red man try to be a white man,
"and I've seen many brown, black and yellow men try the same.
"But," he said, "no one can play the white man like a white man."
NARRATOR: "The Plains Indian Wars" would last nearly thirty years.
By 1890, the last Indian nation had been defeated by the C.S. Cavalry.
In California, thousands of Chinese immigrants
were employed as cheap labor
constructing the nation's new railroad system.
They were caught completely off guard
when Congress passed the Yellow Peril Mandate.
Government agents simply told West Coast employers
that the Chinese workers they employed, they now owned.
What had been cheap labor became slave labor.
HOYLE: One might have thought that the proclamation of that mandate
would have effectively halted the influx of all those workers from Asia.
But they just keep right on comin',
still believin' that jobs and bright futures were there waitin' for 'em.
But that mandate effectively changed the face of West Coast slavery
from black to yellow.
NARRATOR: "Fearful of" further non-white immigration,
influential clergyman and author
Reverend Claymore Penn Holmes of New York
urged Congress to ensure the Confederate States
would remain a Christian nation.
The Christian Reform Act of 1895
outlawed any religion not based on Christianity.
After much debate, it was decided
the Catholic church would be considered Christian,
but the Jews would be asked to leave.
As Davis lay on his death bed,
he literally pleaded with the Congress to revoke the act.
He reminded them of the gallant work of his Secretary of State,
Judah P. Benjamin, and other Jews who had supported the Confederacy.
When young Congressman John Ambrose Fauntroy II
visited the dyin' man,
Fauntroy made the mistake of asserting to Davis
that the nation would be better off without those "blood-sucking Jews."
Davis, for his part, reached out with a frail hand
and grabbed young Fauntroy by the collar and fairly hissed,
"Don't you ever forget, sir,
that it was a blood-suckin' Jew who saved this country."
Well, Benjamin was personally hurt by the act.
But the death of Davis did create a provision allowing a small number of Jews
to remain on the reservation here on Long Island.
NARRATOR: "While blacks" were gaining political support in Canada,
in the C.S.A., North-South relations were being romanticized.
The once-bloody Civil War had become civil.
JOHNSON: Novelists during Reconstruction
mended the divide between the two regions.
In their books, the aims and causes of the war suddenly changed.
Slavery is no longer mentioned as the cause of the war.
This is key to reconciliation.
Thus the suffering of slaves is ignored.
We are presented with only loyal black servants.
However, the courage and sacrifice of whites
on both sides of the Mason-Dixon Line is romantically examined.
They struggle to survive, they protect their homes and families.
General and battlefields take on a new flair.
The smallest details become dramatically important.
In best-sellers like "My Union Soldier" and "Of Bells and Blue"
Southerners are taught to pity the North,
to cry for the lost cause of the Union,
the misguided attempt to free the slaves.
Northerners are presented as a valiant people
who once ruled a mighty land that simply lost its way.
NARRATOR: "The most popular of" these works of reconstructionism
is "A Northern Wind."
Recently the play had a successful revival on Broadway.
I don't know how to thank you, Miss Violet.
You tended my wounds.
You brought me back from death's door!
And though we shall lose this war,
my heart...
will be here with you...
always.
When my husband died at Antitem, I said I'd die... I'd just die!
Before I'd even speak to another Yankee.
But you...
you have had an effect on me, sir.
I shall never... never!...be the same.
- I must go. - No!
Who are you, my little soldier blue
And though I hate you so
I will never let you go
You tried to take my blacks
I tried to take your blacks
But I must
Have you back
For we are lovers
We are lovers
Underneath the same flag
(cheers and applause)
NARRATOR: With reconstruction complete,
the C.S.A., inspired by the empires of Britain and France,
were anxious to embark on a journey
to become the most powerful empire in the world.
VOICEOVER: "Do you know someone" of questionable racial identity?
A neighbor? Someone at work?
Contact the Office of Racial Identity
at 1-800-555-PASS.
You might be eligible for a cash reward.
That's right... passing.
VOICEOVER: Can ya' stand it, boss?
Can you take
all 'dem microscopic shiners
gleamin' yo' teefus?
Go on, now. That's it.
Aw'rite!
Now, that's the power of Darky!
Mmm, Darky?
For a shine that's Jigaboo Bright!
NARRATOR: In the summer of 1900,
Confederate framers act on their vision
of a lush, productive super-state.
They would civilize the savage regions of the Southern Hemisphere.
FAUNTROY V: Well, it was called a "splendid little war,"
but it really became the first opportunity to test
North-South unity.
Against a foreigner... non-American and a foe of color... the Spanish...
the war was a rousing, unifying success.
NARRATOR: "With decisive victories" against the Spanish in Cuba
and in the Caribbean,
the expansion continued into Mexico.
HOYLE: These Latin American countries as Confederate satellites
were organized along grand antebellum lines
with marvelous slave-based plantation economies.
Of course, only white people could hold Nigra slaves.
But in Mexico, the Mexicans themselves were never subjected to slavery as such.
There they have a system that was implemented called "Apart"
which separated the Mexican people from the white Americans
who now rule the country.
This system of apartness effectively created two worlds:
One white and the other Mexican,
separate and unequal.
The system did have the advantage of allowin' the Mexicans
the convenience of knowing their place and staying in it.
(speaking Spanish)
NARRATOR: Confederate leadership
saw the conquest of South America as its prize piece.
Conquering a huge land mass would make it a true empire.
The critical mistake Confederate leaders made
was in underestimating the will of the South American people
to remain free.
HOYLE: Our boys hadn't died in such large numbers since the Civil War.
I recall a story of a young boy lying in a hospital,
having lost both his legs in the jungles of Guatemala.
And one day when a general was visiting the wounded,
he stopped by the boy's bed and the young man,
disillusioned that he was,
rather plaintively looked up at the general and said, "Why, General?"
And the general looked at the young man and said,
"Son, it's because we are Americans."
NARRATOR: "The high" personal cost of the expansion
was the subject of the 1940 award-winning film
"The Dark Jungle."
Have you heard?
It's on the table, Sergeant.
All of 'em?
Every single last one of 'em.
Good Lord!
Was it worth it, Sergeant?
Was it worth the lives of Cliff...
and Johnny... and Biff?
My God, man!
There's a whole world of red and black and brown and yellow...
They'll always outnumber us.
Lieutenant.
I don't know much, but I know this:
This world is made for the God-fearing to use as we see fit.
For a while these savages call it theirs,
but they're just rentin' it.
It's ours!
It was "always" ours.
We just ain't claimed it all...
yet.
Kill 'em all!
And let God sort 'em out.
The costly victory in South America
instilled an even deeper belief in Manifest Destiny.
They now truly believed they were on a divinely ordained quest
for world domination.
Viola, honey, I just saw your slave runnin' off down the street!
- Hurry! Call the police! - No problem!
No problem? Aren't you afraid he'll get away?
Heavens, no! Not with The Shackle.
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In no time, he's back home in his cabin!
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The Shackle won't weight your uncle down like old-fashioned chains.
And it's tough!
The Shackle will stand up to the most strenuous of escape attempts.
It's unbreakable! It comes in a variety of sizes.
Perfect for children!
And at the low, low price of $49.95! Why wait?
Step into the 21st century. Get The Shackle!
- Aren't you going to stay for coffee? - Can't! Gotta get The Shackle.
Have your credit card ready or send $49.95
check or money order to The Shackle.
The Shackle! Keeps 'em in line every time!
Operators are standing by.
At the Coon Chicken Inn, we aim to please.
The best 100o/o Mammy-made family-style meals!
You can taste the love!
I like the white meat.
I'm a breast man.
We just love it here.
You just keep hollerin'... "Gal, fetch me some mo'!"
Look for that wide-mouthed coon near you!
Coon Chicken Inn
NARRATOR: "By 1929,"
Mexico, Central America,
South American, Haiti and the Caribbean
were all members of the growing Confederate Empire.
However, the quick expansion would cost even more.
The Wall Street crash would devastate the financial community.
People lost entire fortunes overnight.
The nation retreated into isolationism
in an attempt to solve its domestic woes.
Grandfather taught us that when you're caught in a dire situation,
when you're cornered,
you don't simply fall on your sword.
You find a way.
He found a way.
NEWSCASTER: It's relocation time
as Senator John Ambrose Fauntroy II
launches thousands of processed slaves
for assignment overseas.
Trained and ready for travel,
whether it be to the now-Southern Mexico
or the Confederate Islands,
these darkies are anxious to get to work.
They know their place and have their minds right.
Yowsa, boss! Bon voyage to all those happy mammies and uncles.
Good luck!
NARRATOR: "The C.S.A." Acted as middleman
in the new slave trade,
capturing and training slaves for export.
Some slaves were chosen domestically from the poor of their own country,
but traditional African slaves were always preferred.
JOHNSON: The selling of the American way elevated the C.S.A.
Out of the depression.
This was made possible through the... cooperation of African leaders.
Africa is a strange and backward continent.
The world must understand that captivity is good for the African.
He's better off with you than with us.
We only secure and trade the inferior tribes...
only those with whom we have longstanding conflicts.
Of course, we have conflicts with most tribes.
(laughter)
But for our cooperation,
American allows us to govern our people.
They leave us alone.
They believe in democracy, and so do we.
Critics often wonder how Africans involved in the trade
can market other black people.
They say, "You should stick together.
You are human beings, and you should help one another."
To this, I simply must say, "No."
Capitalism is no respecter of persons.
There's simply too much to be gained.
A good chief,
like a good congressman, senator, or president,
always puts the prosperity of his people first.
(applause)
NARRATOR: "In Europe," the rise of Nazi Germany
was of little concern to the Confederate States
and its isolationist foreign policy.
Many Confederate leaders visited Germany,
and attended the mass Nazi rallies.
Congress officially supported Germany's new Aryan racial policies,
calling them "biologically correct."
Hitler returned the visit in the spring of 1935,
touring the boroughs of New York City.
Although protested by Jewish Americans,
the trip was a resounding success.
In Washington, Hitler proposed that America join with him
in a final solution to the problem of inferior races.
Hitler's plan was to exterminate the Jews of Europe
and create a pure Aryan continent.
Secretary of State John Ambrose Fauntroy III
responded by suggesting that Germany not exterminate Jewish citizens,
but instead use them as a productive slave labor force.
Taking Hitler on a tour of American slave labor plantations and factories,
Fauntroy and Hitler discussed the possibilities.
No agreement was reached,
but Secretary Fauntroy made it clear the C.S.
Felt it immoral to waste human livestock,
but promised not to intervene in any military conflict
Germany had with its neighbors.
"America" did "have a new enemy."
Japan had become expansionist,
assembling a large military force.
For the C.S.A., they posed a threat to the entire Pacific region.
The Confederate States would act.
On the morning of December 7th, 1941,
America struck Japan in a devastating surprise attack.
The air base on the Kuril Islands,
the Japanese naval fleet anchored in Tokyo Bay,
and the former capital of Kyoto were all heavily damaged
by Confederate bombers.
The war with Japan had begun.
Because the Japanese people were small in physical stature,
and non-white, Confederate leaders dismissed them as weak.
Once again, they underestimated the will of a foreign power.
They would find out just how weak they were.
NARRATOR: "So many men" were dying in the war
that Confederate leaders turned to their slaves for assistance.
The first to volunteer were West Coast enslaved Japanese
anxious to prove their loyalty and perhaps gain their freedom.
However, Congress decided they were sneaky and could not be trusted.
They were banned from service.
A regiment of slaves, the 129th Fighting Bucks,
were leased by their owners to the Confederate armed forces
to serve in combat.
The slaves were promised their freedom if they would fight.
JOHNSON: The men of the 129th fought with distinction and courage.
They were given the most dangerous missions,
and casualties were very high.
But they earned the respect of their Confederate officers.
Even after suffering such tremendous losses,
the Japanese forces still would just not surrender.
And then, by the grace of God, we developed a weapon
that would put the entire foreign world of coloreds in their place.
NARRATOR: The war was over,
and it was a time for immense celebration.
However, after the war, the 129th Fighting Bucks
were returned to their masters for enslavement.
No explanation was given.
Servant etiquette and proper table linens for formal dinner parties,
how to be the belle of the ball,
and what to look for when buying a Chinese gardener.
On the next Better Homes & Plantations.
It's a good thing.
MAID: "I just gave" this place a good scrubbin',
but everything is still dull as dishwater!
Miss Ann's gonna fret somethin' fierce!
- Hi. - Hi.
MAID: Who is y'all?
- I'm Goldie. - I'm Dustie.
We're the Gold Dust Twins!
VOICEOVER: Are you a slave to housework?
Let the Gold Dust Twins emancipate you
from the burdens of cleaning.
It gets everything shining like new!
MAID: Thank you, Goldie and Dustie!
TWINS: Don't be a slave. Get Gold Dust today!
NARRATOR: "In 1950,"
the Confederate States were enjoying a period of domestic tranquility.
Antebellum values were at the core of this peace.
Slaves had been beaten into submission...
the future was rich with promise.
Then, it happened.
The Canadian-based John Brown Underground...
or the J.B.U... a splinter group of the N.A.A.C.P...
waged what they called "a war against slavery."
While the N.A.A.C.P. Practiced non-violence,
the J.B.U. employed any means necessary.
The J.B.U. were terrorists, pure and simple,
bent on the destruction of the nation of the Confederacy.
What is terrorism to one is patriotism to another.
NARRATOR: "The C.S.A." Sent Ambassador Hamish Bond
to visit Canadian Prime Minister Louis S. Saint Laurent
of the Liberal Party.
Bond demanded the extradition of all members of the J.B.U.
Prime Minster Saint Laurent refused.
Canadian abolitionism had now become the major threat
to the Confederate way of life.
They just had to be stopped.
The "abbie" wants to make the world a race of mulattos...
half-mule, half-horse.
Remain pure, friends.
Beware of the abolitionists' propaganda.
Beware of the abolitionists' saboteurs.
Keep your eyes open.
Your neighbor... could be an abbie.
Bill?
Dear?
What are you doing down here in the basement...
in the dark?
You're not the same anymore.
I don't know you, honey.
You're so... cold and distant.
Do you still love me?
That's not it.
Then are you sick, dear? Do we need to see a doctor?
I don't know what to do! Talk to me!
What is there to say?
I found these in your room.
"The Confessions of Nat Turner."
"The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass."
"Uncle Tom's Cabin."
What are you doing with these?!
If you must know, I read them.
I'm an abolitionist.
(screaming)
NEWSCASTER: "To safeguard" against Red Canadian aggression,
the C.S.A. constructed a wall
spanning the entire length of the Canadian border.
NARRATOR: "Called the Cotton Curtain," it is fortified and impregnable.
Radio Free Confederacy sends broadcasts over the wall every day
with the hope that slaves will hear the transmissions
and gain information about their lives.
The triumph of the Cotton Curtain
would serve to increase violent attacks against the C.S.A.
(sirens blare)
(tires squeal)
FAUNTROY V: "I was seven years old" when Dad was assassinated.
Well, the president, he launched air strikes against Canada, but...
I have to be honest with you, it...
it doesn't really ease the pain in losing a father.
NARRATOR: After America's neutrality
during the Second World War in Europe,
Britain and France joined other summit nations
in calling for sanctions against the C.S.
JOHNSON: The summit nations imposed a world embargo
against the Confederate States.
Any notion of a war with Canada was dismissed.
The C.S. retreated into isolation. There was rationing.
Only the nation of South Africa remained a loyal ally.
The success of the embargo
would lead many to quietly question, "Is it worth it?"
VOICEOVER: Fall out here...
means more than corralling a young buck.
It's a time of crisp, clean morning air
and the sound of a thundering stampede.
It's a time when horses come down from the high pasture
and a man prepares for another tough winter.
It's time...
for a Niggerhair.
The candidates need no introduction.
The Democratic candidate, Vice President Richard M. Nixon
and the Republican candidate, Senator John F. Kennedy.
And now for the first opening statement by Senator John F. Kennedy.
In the election of 1960, and with the world around us,
the question is whether the world will exist half-slave or half-free,
whether it will move in the direction of freedom,
in the direction of the road that we are taking,
or whether it will move in the direction of slavery.
If we do well here, if we meet our obligations,
if we're moving ahead,
then I think freedom will be secure around the world.
If we fail, then freedom fails.
It was what many had predicted of an Irish Catholic,
and a Northerner, to boot.
Critics had called Kennedy a black Republican, obviously,
bringing up the image of Abraham Lincoln
and the abolitionists of the past.
Slaves knew Kennedy was sympathetic to their plight.
He could not directly come out and advocate its end,
but everyone knew that if the opportunity arose,
Kennedy would emancipate.
NARRATOR: It was 1960.
President-elect Kennedy,
the youngest leader in American history
and the first president from the North since the war of Northern aggression,
would dramatically alter the direction of the country...
what Kennedy termed a New Frontier.
Polls indicated that only 29o/o of the population now favored slavery,
the lowest figures ever.
Kennedy, young, intelligent, and too clever by half,
symbolized this.
He had skillfully managed to put a handsome face on emancipation.
NARRATOR: However, Kennedy,
distracted by the cold war with Canada
and an expansionist campaign in Southeast Asia,
had little time to address the revolutionary social changes at home.
Woman now demanded an end to the sexual relations
between their master husbands and their female slaves.
For generations, they had tolerated these unions
and the slave children they produced.
Fully fifty years after the efforts of Susan B. Anthony,
women now wanted control over their lives.
We are not frail, simple-minded pets!
We are more... much, much more.
We demand the right to be women...
women with a future, women with the vote.
NARRATOR: Confederate teenagers
were being influenced by the beat of Negro rock 'n' roll
blasting across the Cotton Curtain from Canada.
Free to express themselves,
former slaves enriched Canadian culture.
Performers like Elvis Presley imitated black artists
and were censored and arrested.
MAN: This Elvis Presley and this Canadian
abolitionist-inspired rock 'n' roll music
threatens to deflower every pure white child
in this great country of ours.
NARRATOR: "Many, like Presley," took their talents north
and became stars in Canada.
Canadian writers like Richard Wright and James Baldwin
created masterworks of literature.
The ban on race music, literature, and art
stifled American creativity.
Prohibition of certain abolitionist and Negro-inspired art
left Confederate culture void and without conscience.
American art never evolved beyond government-inspired propaganda.
NARRATOR: "Negroes," afforded equal education,
excelled in all areas of Canadian life.
In the world of sports,
they helped Canada to consistently defeat America in the Olympic Games,
winning hundreds of gold medals.
After seeing great black athletes in the Olympics,
some Confederates pondered the inclusion of slaves in sport.
In the first annual C.S.F.L. Championship game,
two all-white teams,
the Washington Indians and the New York Niggers,
illustrated the call to break the color barrier and emancipate.
KENNEDY: One hundred years ago today,
Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation.
He thereby began the process to fulfill finally
the promises of the Declaration of Independence.
The century since has seen the struggle to convert freedom
from rhetoric to reality.
It has been in many respects a somber story,
and the task is not finished.
Much remains to be done to eradicate the evil of human slavery.
The Proclamation must be regarded not as an end, but a beginning.
In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free.
In giving rights to others which belong to them,
we give rights to ourselves and to our country.
JOHNSON: The president's assassination
drained the lifeblood from the entire nation.
The belief some white citizens had for a new America was gone,
women would not get the vote,
the hope slaves had for their freedom exploded into rage.
NARRATOR: Two major slave rebellions,
one in the Los Angeles, California, section of Watts
and the other in Newark, New Jersey,
caused strong but divided reactions from Confederate lawmakers.
MAN: "In the wake of our late president," our nation is at a crossroads.
We must ask the question: Is slaveocracy the only way?
Like most owners,
I love my servants, and hate when I have to punish them.
My wife and my children hate it.
The young people of this country hate it.
It is time for change.
We have to stop pussyfooting around! We have a war going on in Vietnam
and another one erupting right here in our own country.
Unless we plan on losing both these wars,
we better stop crying for these gooks and these darkies
and lay the hammer down!
We have never lost a war,
and by God, I'm not about to lose this one!
NARRATOR: By the mid-1970s,
the social revolution had been crushed.
Most of the opposition leaders fled the country,
went into hiding, or were killed.
The nation seemed to be caught up in some kind of malaise.
Many feared that we were crumbling from within
and that the best years of the Confederate States of America
were behind us.
This is Newsbreak. I'm Jeb Boone.
Confederate Express, the nation's leading shipper,
issued a warning today that house servants are using the service
to, in their words, "overnight themselves to freedom."
There was this one fella shipped his whole family,
wife and two kids, up north in a box labeled "home entertainment center."
Another big tip: Check for air holes.
Back after this.
VOICEOVER: These...
are the faces...
of Contrari.
With Contrari,
one little blue pill
gives all-day control.
Side effects may include vomiting, shortness of breath,
nausea, blurred vision, liver and kidney problems,
constipation, and anal bleeding.
Contrari has been known to cause heart attack
in some old uncles.
Contrari is not meant for servants who are nursing
or about to drop a litter.
Ask your veterinarian about Contrari today.
Officials in Washington suggested charges may be filed
following several controversial errors in the Department of Racial Identity.
The watchdog group Proven White
charged that DNA mistakes are commonplace
and that many people don't know who they are.
The search for Big Sam expanded to the Chicago area today.
The runaway remains number one on the C.B.I.'s most wanted list.
A spokesmen for the bureau indicated of all the crimes over two years old,
Big Sam is still believed the J.B.U. mastermind
behind the now-infamous "One Drop" scandal.
And on a program note, be sure to stay tuned
for the live death row execution of Floyd Ray Hubbard.
Now, that's at 12:00, 11:00 Central.
See you then.
NARRATOR: "After sponsoring" the popular Family Values Act,
"John Ambrose Fauntroy V
was selected to head the Commerce Department.
He would steer the Family Values Initiative.
Fauntroy utilized popular religious leaders
in a series of infomercials
answering the nation's difficult moral questions.
MAN: "Ephesians," chapter six, verse five.
(mans reads scripture)
Amen.
NARRATOR: Fauntroy brought slave training
out of the dark ages,
utilizing the latest multi-media technology.
Ike's gonna run off.
No!
Sho' is. He runnin' tonight.
Delilah has just learned that Ike is planning to escape.
Escape attempts are costly and disruptive.
How will Delilah handle it?
Doesn't he know how good we have it here?
Good food, a roof over our heads,
and a kind master.
Don't be afraid to learn more.
Be "Massa's" ear.
Is he still talkin' that abolition talk?
Bingo. Delilah has discovered that Ike's mind ain't right.
Critical information.
Delilah's next move? Go tell it.
Yes, suh, Master. Ike is plannin' to run off tonight.
I thought you should know.
Thank you, Delilah.
I'm glad you shared this information with me.
You know, Delilah, you are a good one.
Like Delilah, you too can "be a good one."
NARRATOR: Fauntroy's new agencies
were designed to monitor and correct the American fabric.
When he stays out all night or gives you a fatherly smack,
remember: He's the master of the house.
And, as such,
he will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness.
I'm here to speak to you about an important medical problem.
Are you now or have you ever been
a homosexual?
And we've encouraged Hollywood to create more shows like
"That's My Boy"... you can't help but laugh at Cleofus.
VOICEOVER: "Follow the antics" of America's favorite jigaboo, Cleofus,
as he deals with the challenge of freedom
on "That's My Boy" weeknights at 6:30.
That's just me, boss!
That's my boy.
Well, look at the Slave Shopping Network.
The Slave Shopping Network alone has done wonders
to bring back the joys of Negro ownership.
Let's talk slaves.
For the next hour I am here with Joyce,
and she has brought us some of the most incredible servants
- to pick from today. - That's right, Paula.
We have forty extraordinary Negroes
right off the tarmac, waiting for you.
And I know one of them's just right for you and your home.
So, let's start with Jupiter and his family.
Now, Joyce, you say that Jupiter's a buck for the '90s.
That's right, Paula. Versatility is the key with Jupiter.
He's the perfect slave for home, office, or industry.
He's healthy, adaptable, and reliable.
Oh, and what about our gal Prissy?
Oh, what a find!
Well-mannered, loyal, smart, but not uppity.
Oh, and what a litter of pick-a-ninnies she's had!
Aren't those the two the cutest little things you ever saw?
They would be so helpful around the yard
or with dinner parties!
Now, as with all SSN products,
we can either break up Jupiter's family for you,
or you can have them as a set!
So, let the bidding begin!
FAUNTROY V: A new generation of young people
are excited now about owning Negroes.
The buying, trading, and selling of servants on the Internet
has pumped over $500 million into the economy.
Behind pornography, it's the top-selling item on the Net.
The '80s and the early '90s were more than a nostalgia trip.
We finally put that tragic decade of self-doubt,
the 1960s, behind us.
I swear I never had seen so many flags and yellow ribbons
as when our boys came home victorious from the Persian Gulf.
We really whipped those A-rabs.
We won. That was enough.
And once again we loved ourselves.
FAUNTROY V: When this country was the United States of America...
slaves built this capitol.
Today...
we preserve it.
NARRATOR: Reports soon surfaced
Fauntroy would run for the Democratic presidential nomination.
Oh, Fauntroy
Fauntroy
Fauntroy is the man
VOICEOVER: This is John Ambrose Fauntroy,
and I approved this message.
NARRATOR: "After numerous" requests to the State Department,
Senator Fauntroy intervened and personally arranged
for an interview with a slave living in the C.S.
He told us, "We have nothing to hide."
- Right, right. - Uh... no contact.
NARRATOR: "Unfortunately," the slaves we were offered
had clearly received training for the interview,
corrupting any natural response to our questions
and rendering their responses manufactured.
However...
through clandestine means we received a note.
GUARD: No contact.
This note would change the course of American history.
The note instructed us to meet our source
on a country estate in rural Virginia.
The note was simply signed "John Brown."
Get out and follow me.
All right, let's go.
(door slams shut)
Horace.
Master Fauntroy... gonna kill me, sure as shootin'.
But I don't care no more.
- I got to say this. - What do you have to say?
Master Fauntroy...
His family...
and my family...
- What? - See, a long while back,
my great-great-grandmammy...
and his great-granddaddy, they...
you know.
I don't understand.
Me and... me and Fauntroy... we kin.
Related?
How? Fauntroy's "white."
Just 'cause he look white don't mean he "all" white.
See, years ago, when all this started...
they took the light ones into the Fauntroy family
and "made" 'em white.
Us dark ones got cast out...
left for niggers.
He got the jungle blood.
Believe me, he got the jungle blood in him.
And he know it, too.
NARRATOR: Following the release of that tape,
Fauntroy held a news conference
to respond to the charges of "Negro-ness."
These accusations leveled against me...
by a slave, no less... are false.
My great-granddaddy did not have sexual relations with that woman!
I am one hundred percent Caucasian.
One hundred percent.
REPORTER: Will you submit to a DNA test?
No. No, I will not be subjected to such treatment.
Nor will I allow my family to be subjected to such ridicule.
REPORTER: Do you believe the Republican Party
arranged for the slave to make these allegations?
Certainly!
Look, this darkie is obviously being used in an attempt
to derail my campaign.
Now, let me just say this.
The American people know that John Ambrose Fauntroy
has their best interests in mind.
They know me. They know my family.
These dirty tricks will "not" stop our message.
We will win in November!
REPORTER: Rumors are circulating
that you may be called before the House Committee on Racial Identity.
If subpoenaed, will you appear?
Well, I, uh...
I'll just cross that bridge when I... when I come to it.
Thank you.
NARRATOR: The racial allegation against Fauntroy
would cost him the election in November.
On December 12th, "the body of John Ambrose Fauntroy V
was found in the grounds of his suburban Virginia estate.
The coroner attributed his death to a self-inflicted gunshot wound
to the head.
DNA test results ordered by the House Committee on Racial Identity
were released days later.
The results proved negative.
FAUNTROY V: I only wish that
our dear family friend Chancellor Hitler
had lived to see how he empowered his country.
Imagine... an America
where everyone has the same
deep, abiding pride of Aryan birth.
I want to reclaim that heritage.
With America's help, we can.
JOHNSON: No slavery in history
has been as devastating as chattel slavery in the Americas.
Nowhere else were slaves taught
that they were not part of the human family.
This has wounded the African as nothing else could.
It still haunts slaves, and former slaves, today.
It's important to remember that our fond attachment to slavery
is not an economic necessity.
In fact, it's always been detrimental to the Confederate economy
to hold slaves.
Yet slavery, like nothing else, is what defines us,
shapes us as a people, as a nation.
Owning a slave is a constant reminder of who you are.
It strengthens our role and responsibility
to be a leader in our homes, in our families
and in our communities,
and to provide the leadership as only a white man could hold
in the most powerful nation in the world.
KIDS: I pledge allegiance
to the flag of the Confederate States of America,
and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation under God,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all white people.
Amen.
("Cops" theme song parody plays)
We are a friendly people
We value God's great plan
Though some say
Our ways are wrong
Washington and Davis
They made our empire grand
Others would destroy it
But Fauntroy has the plan
Oh, Fauntroy is the man
Fauntroy is the man
He can bring us back together
Protect our land
Oh, Fauntroy is the man
Fauntroy is the man
Yes, Fauntroy is the man
We are a happy people
Our darkies love us, too
From Maine to Santiago
And Long Island full of Jews
His father died to save us
His son is forged in fire
He'll crush the evildoers
And keep us strong and pure
Oh, Fauntroy is the man
Fauntroy is the man
He can bring us back together
Protect our land
A need for strength is in demand
A guiding light upon our man
Don't let the evildoers
Destroy our life
Fauntroy offers hope and trust
He'll secure a future safe and just
A patriot to protect us from all strife
Oh, Fauntroy
Fauntroy
Fauntroy is our man
Our man