(horn honks in distance)
There's all kinds of rifle action here...
Here... And here.
Well, I will be way over on the other side of the ridge,
Papa bear, so you don't have to worry about my ass.
And let me just state for the record, what an ass. Hello, beautiful.
Hi. Are you guys planning a raid on some backwoods moonshiners?
Hell, no. Scored myself a long weekend... Mm.
So I'm going bear hunting.
Ooh. Orange vests, rifles, and beer coolers?
Sign me the hell up. They ain't the way I hunt, babe.
(chuckles) listen, if you, uh, kill Yogi and Boo Boo,
I am never talking to you again.
You part of this sunny expedition?
Shit, closest I get to a bear is a rug in front of a fireplace.
(chuckles)
My boy's forest playtime is strictly a solo affair.
Oh, hang on one second. You have been so busy at work
That we've barely seen each other,
And now you're gonna spend the weekend alone in the woods?
We could go away together.
(laughs) oh, my god. Is that too relationship-y
Just enough. What do you have in mind?
I don't know. Why don't you come over tonight
And we can put our heads together
And come up with someplace nice to go? You and I put our heads together,
We usually don't do a lot of figuring.
Mm. Mmm.
I can never tell with those two if they're on or off.
I put money on them fighting again
In two weeks and back to square one.
(beeping)
I pick the 14th for them hittin' the skids.
Closest one t the date wins 20 bucks.
In the event of a tie...
(lowered voice) we go down to the hour and the minute.
Deal, buddy.
♪
(chuckles)
♪
(grunts)
(thud)
(groans)
(rustling)
(gasps) aah!
(choking)
(screams)
(Bo) life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years,
Searching while hiding...
Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
♪
Sync by www.addic7ed.com
The balamar spa looks nice.
Three words-- "green tea colonics."
(laughs)
That sounds so refreshing.
Okay. How about the wobomack b and b?
Yeah. That one's run by a couple of faeries.
Literally. I mean, like, wings and everything,
Flittin' around, gettin' in your business. Not relaxing.
And whom, pray tell, did you go there with?
Actually, don't answer that. Let's just--let's just pick one.
Well, then it's gotta be the theme motel.
Look, they got a pirate room. (chuckles)
Arr! You've been alive for centuries,
And you're still an 8-year-old boy.
Uh, okay, I'm really sorry to interrupt rubber ducky time,
But we've got a client consult. Now?
Yes. It's a guy I know from my once less-than-legit exploits,
So I kind of owe him.
So... Thank you!
Nice timing, Kenzi. (sighs)
Anytime, baby. (door opens and closes)
(sighs) great. (water splashes)
So what's up? Hi. Kenzi says you're a p.I. Or some shit?
Yeah, I solve problems.
Rad, man, 'cause I got a big problem.
My cousin Thumper-- he's gone missing. Your cousin's a rabbit?
(sighs) what? No. It's, like, a street name.
You know, this one used to be called "meow meow."
Anybody want a beer? Meow meow?
Anyway, look, he's only been in the country, like,
Three months now, and he's an illegal. (bottles clank)
Well, what makes you think he's gone missing?
Cheers. We work together. (bottle cap clatters)
Monday, just like that, doesn't show up for his ride home. Well, where's work?
Queensdale country club. I got him a job there.
You know, he takes care of the grounds. Yeah, Neville works in the kitchen.
Well, I'm assuming you already asked around work.
Man, I practically took a 9-iron to his boss's skull
Looking for answers. You know what that son of a bitch says?
He says he left midway through his shift.
Like, obviously now he's got no work ethic,
'cause he's foreign. Right. And you can't go to the cops.
I can't go to the cops unless I want to get him deported.
Man, that...
(lowered voice) that club, okay--
There's some weird-ass stuff that goes on there.
We're listening.
Like, they go out of their way to hire illegals.
They were the ones that came to me asking me
If I had any friends and relatives
That want to work under the table. Yeah, 'cause illegals work for nothing.
No, because maybe these rich people
Are selling them into slavery
Or maybe they're stealing their organs or some shit.
Look, I'm sorry, okay. I know this sounds crazy to you.
Don't worry. We have heard much weirder. Trust me.
We're gonna find out what happened to him, okay?
Cross my heart, man. Cross my heart.
Thanks. That's the old meow meow. (chuckles)
Are there any more tips that you can give us?
Yeah, this gossip queen at the club
Is this chick named Blake.
If anything ever goes down,
I bet she knows where to start looking..
How do you guys plan on getting close, anyway?
(chuckles)
No way.
Okay, I would be the one going undercover as kitchen staff.
You get to pretend to be a member and live the good life.
Well, you guys are gonna have a great time... Alone.
I'm on vacation, remember? Hey, my cover will work so much better
If you come in as my husband.
(chuckles) is that a proposal? (chuckles)
Come on. You would be helping me do a solid for a friend.
He's your pal. He's not mine. Ow! Remind me.
What was that time where you were wanted for murder,
And I totally covered your ass? You totally saved his life, too, right?
You know, now that you mention it, I think that you're right--
Without asking for anything in return. Uh-huh.
(chuckles) come on. You are gonna look so sweet
In a polo shirt and a pair of chinos.
Ha ha.
I supervise construction on every inch of this heaven.
Let's come into my office.
Harvard... Oxford...
Sailed in the governor's cup.
This is great stuff.
Now do you ever find you have problems keeping up
With your wife's employment? Please.
(chuckles) oh, no. The bank is generous with transfers
When you're top tier.
And how long have you been with U.N., Mrs. Thornwood?
Oh, um, three years--
One in Germany and two in Belgium.
Working in human rights is so rewarding. Mm. Sure, sure.
And I bet you rub shoulders with some heavy hitters. (chuckles)
Those U.N. Parties must be something.
Well, Dyson finds them quite tedious,
So I'm always looking for a more enthusiastic plus one.
Well, I don't think we're gonna have any problem
Green-lighting this application.
You should hear from us in about a month.
Actually, Mitch, we were rather hoping to join the club, uh...
As soon as possible.
Would today work?
That would make me very happy.
One probationary membership coming right up.
Uh, two.
Two probationary memberships coming up.
(chuckles) you are such a peach.
I could just eat you right up.
If you want,
I can give you a personal orientation tour.
Oh, no. We don't want to take you away from your busy work.
But, um, there is one member we've heard so much about--
Blake something...
Blake jorgenson. Yeah.
(clears throat)
(whispers) she's a bit of a...
(normal voice) she's always on the tennis court,
If you're looking for her.
Okay. Great. We'll find her.
And, um, Mitch, we will see you later.
(chuckles)
(woman) long way from venezuela.
(spanish accent) sÃ­, sÃ­.
I am working my way around the continent,
Kitchen to kitchen. Mitch says you plan on sticking around
For a few months?
At least.
Though I hear you have a high turnover...
(lowered voice) especially when it comes
To people without visas.
(chuckles) don't screw up.
No one will call immigration. I promise. What about the members?
Any horror stories I should know about? (chuckles)
(chuckles) no.
(snorts) they're all nouveau riche.
Most have what they have because of connections and luck.
It's not because they're endowed with talent or brains. (chuckles)
Stay on their good side,
But don't let them intimidate you. SÃ­..
Hey. (clatters)
And no snacking on the job. That's a fireable offense.
SÃ­, seÃ±ora.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
(knife chopping)
Nice backhand.
Perfected it on my ex-husband.
I'm Bo thornwood. This is my husband Dyson.
Fresh blood?
Yeah. We, uh, just joined. Been out of the country.
We've been traveling so much, I'm a little rusty.
A good stiff one usually loosens me right up.
Excuse me? Drink.Titiff drink.
I'm Blake.
Yeah, I know.
I, um, I would love
To get the scoop on this place from a real insider.
Do you, um, do you have lunch plans?
Well, aren't you two adorable?
Let's go.
(slurred voice) here's the truth.
This place is nothing
But a bunch of ass-kissing wannabes.
Most of 'em are peasants in gucci.
I'm not sure they even play fair to get what they have.
You're very good at that, seÃ±ora.
Thank you, seÃ±or.
Are we talking dodgy accounting or...
Mitch and Chloe have
This rather exclusive clique.
And Chloe is...
His wife. The bitch of the ball.
Look at her--
Cheap teeth... Cheap tan...
Cheap tits. (laughs)
It beats me what they get up to behind closed doors,
But they've all made each other obscenely rich.
And which closed doors would those be?
Every month their little group has
An after-hours invite-only scotch tasting.
There's one tonight, in fact.
Probably to plot world domination.
Well, sounds pretty juicy. I'd love a peek. (ice clinks)
(Chloe gasps) ay! Oh, seÃ±ora.
Are you kidding me?! I am so sorry.
(laughs)
What is your name?
(pants) oh. Uh... Uh, I'm sorry.
(laughs) remind me to tip that one.
(laughs)
(exhales deeply)
(sighs)
(sniffles) a complaint's already been logged against you.
That's one strike, kid.
Oh. Uh, I sorry, jefe. It won't happen again.
No. It better not.
Every strike goes in the file.
There's a file? (chuckles) Mitch keeps it--
Every screwup by every staff member.
Neville, get the soup base started.
I'm gonna go pick some fresh squash
From the garden.
Yes, chef.
(lowered voice) you watch yourself, Kenzi,
Or you'll be out before you know it.
My boy Thumper had himself two strikes before he disappeared.
The manager's wife was itching to fire him.
Blake, honey.
(panting) oh, lord.
You submitted your nomination papers
For the board election? I did. Was there some problem?
No, no. I just wanted to have an informal chat,
Board chair to nominee,
Make sure we're on the same page.
Why? Well, if I like your platform,
I can give you the benefit of my sway. Your reign's ending, Chloe.
But when I get my seat on the board,
You're gonna see a lot more dividends
Come my way.
(sighs)
That's what I was afraid of.
Hmm.
Fore! (Blake) uhh!
(thud)
I think we made a mistake with your membership, Blake.
(groans)
You're not queensdale material
After all.
She's all yours.
(groaning)
(gasps)
Aah!
(choking)
(clatters)
You're in real trouble, missy,
And there may be nothing anybody can do to help you.
(turns off water) (normal voice) uh, excuse me.
I have to go meet somebody about something.
Mmm.
You are really good
At this undercover stuff.
(chuckles)
Who knew you could be so duplicitous, huh?
I've got my secrets.
Oh, yeah? Well, you can't keep any secrets from me.
(door opens and closes) that's just one of the things that I love about you.
(groans)
Off till my late shift.
(grunts) oh, god. Public transit sucks tail.
SenoRita... (shoe clatters)
(sighs) the servants' entrance is in the rear.
Yeah, bite my rear, dog breath, okay? (chuckles)
I just had to stand on the subway for 45 minutes
While a woman clipped her nails in my face
And a guy was poking what I can only hope to be a baguette
Into my back, okay?
And my feet really, really hurt,
So somebody please give me a foot massage, stat.
Well, what did you find out?
Ohh. Um, that the club does employ tons of illegals,
And a bunch of them have gone missing, and...
Oh, my god. That's amazing.
Oh, my god. I can almost forget how mad I am at you guys.
Know any fae that prey on foreign employees?
Nothing points to this being fae.
Oh, come on.
Somebody at that place is disappearing immigrant workers.
Oh, and I think you should know, um,
Our client's cousin was on the manager's wife's hit list.
Apparently he was a real slack-ass, so...
Look, that is not a reason to kill someone.
For all we know, these people are just working elsewhere.
My gut says otherwise, and come on. So does yours.
Okay. I'll get Hale to do a background check
On the members. Maybe it'll raise a flag.
And I say we crash that scotch tasting tonight,
See if we can infiltrate their inner circle.
You think you can get us in?
Watch me.
(snoring)
(door closes)
Ah, well, looky.
Everyone getting all glamorous
For a night out.
Yeah, well, some of us are having
Less glamorous nights than others,
So thanks, guys.
What'd you find?
Spent all afternoon digging into club members' finances.
You know, it still creeps me out
That the fae can access everyone's bank accounts.
Really? 'cause it kinda creeps me out that they consider humans
To be one of the four basic food groups.
Oh, yeah, and in case anybody's wondering, I'm pretty sure
The creepy groundskeeper is sizing me up to fit in a bun.
(snorts) he must've just been looking for a snack.
Anyway, only, uh, strange thing I turned up is
Plenty of the country club members
Had significant bumps in their bank accounts
Shortly after joining the club.
Maybe it's a kickback scheme...
Or payoffs or bribes. Who knows?
Maybe Thumper got iced out 'cause he found something out.
(click) well, that'll be our plan of attack tonight.
(Kenzi grunts) we'll hit these people up for information
And figure out exactly how they got their sudden wealth.
While we do that-- I will let myself into herr direktor's office
And see if I can find anything incriminating. And I'll have your back.
(knock on door) (Kenzi) yeah. Can I have a gun?
Nope. Grenades?
Nope. A magic sword? Come on.
(laughs) what, are you modeling for j.Crew now?
Uh, what do you want, Saskia?
Oh, I don't know, a 24/7 international orgy,
But I'll settle for a night on the town
With my fellow sex fiend. Uh, that's a "no" from me.
Oh, come on. Be a sport.
Look, I don't like how we left things.
I think we need a fresh start,
And there's a certain debauched rock band in town.
I'm talking sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll
At a level so high you need n.A.S.A. Training. I have plans.
(exhales deeply) with the ken doll?
You're not serious? What if it is serious?
(scoffs) oh, honey. Are you going around with him?
Is he your steady?
'cause that would make you the lamest succubus in history. Good night, Saskia.
You don't know what you're missing.
(chuckles) it's chilly outside. Don't forget your sweater.
(door squeaks)
Who was that?
It's, uh, it's an old client.
Someone I couldn't help.
Mm.
What do you say we have james bring the car around?
Indeed.
Okay. Let's go.
We don't usually let newcomers join our little soiree.
(chuckles) and we're so grateful, aren't we, babe?
Oh, we are so grateful. See, we really believe in community, Mitch,
And we can tell that you and your gang
Are exactly our kind of people.
Oh, everyone will find you quite simpatico.
(chuckles) now there is one thing.
This isn't your standard scotch tasting.
♪
Ha!
Welcome to scotch night.
(indistinct conversations, laughter)
(chuckles)
Hey, newbies! Come on in.
Water's perfect.
(chuckles)
♪
(chuckles) so you're, uh,
You're a little too good at that, short stuff. It's a vocation.
And call me short one more time, and I'm gonna cut you.
Whoo. Temper's, uh, short.
(chuckles) I'd say you're a little touchy tonight. (click)
Yeah, well, if you were already on these rich freaks' hit list,
You would be touchy, too, so take a look at the damn files,
And I'm gonna boot up this bad boy.
Little, uh, spicy. Uh-huh.
(typing)
Well, let the long night of research begin.
Welcome to half my job.
I know, right? Same old story.
You and me do all the grunt work,
While Bo and Dyson get all the damn glory.
Let's hope tonight they're suffering. (typing)
So... This is nice.
Yes, it's delightful. So much better than hunting.
You hunt? That's so primal.
Oh, you have no idea. (chuckles)
So, uh, Blake-- she's not part
Of these little soirees of yours?
She seems pretty a-list to me.
Ah, Blake is a valued member,
But she's not really a team player.
Oh! Midnight snack. What's on the menu?
Grilled flatbread with tomato and chives
And mixed vegetables with a squash tapenade.
Oh, amy's food is to die for,
And it's all fresh from our own garden.
My darling... Mm.
(lowered voice) I would say that Mitch is hiding something.
(lowered voice) I would say he's not hiding enough.
Ohh.
Hi.
Ahh.
(chuckles)
(indistinct conversations)
(sighs) there's nothing in the damn computer.
You know, all these stories are about member success,
And they're dated after each member joined the club.
What kind of success?
Uh, job promotions,
Business expansion,
Real estate deals,
Not to mention all their appearances
In the society pages.
Man. Belonging to this club means you have arrived.
Maybe it's a secret society.
Like, they're all pulling strings for each other.
What do you have in the employee files?
Well, it's really stupid,
But Mitch left files on all the illegal workers.
Which you would figure is not the smartest thing,
From, uh, a law enforcement point of view.
Mm-hmm. Oh, my god. Huh.
Look at this. Strikes... For screwing up on the job!
Look at this. I already have two strikes. What the hell?
You should be more worried about that picture. Ah. (sighs)
Oh, wow. Looks like, uh, yeah, the most anyone has is three.
(whispers) oh, my god. Get down. (clicks flashlight switch)
(gasps) it's the creepy damn groundskeeper!
He already told me I was in trouble,
And he said that nobody could help me.
(whispers) shh. All right. Relax, little mama.
(sighs) do not call me little!
(sighs) okay. All right. Calm down and stop shaking.
I can't. I'm scared. Have you seen the guy?
God, he's so creepy.
Okay. All right. Come closer then. (sighs)
Stay close. Okay.
God. (sighs) closer.
No, get closer.
Hey. This is not a sexy undercover moment!
God!
(normal voice) no, ma'am. We are--we are all business. Get your damn files.
(normal voice) I really hope Bo and Dyson
Are getting something useful on their end.
Positive energy--
You put it into the world,
And it comes back to you tenfold.
That's why I love this place.
You can taste the energy flowing between all of us.
Isn't that right, dear?
Mm. (chuckles)
(kisses)
Tastes like success.
(chuckles)
And don't worry. Don't worry.
We are very, very discreet.
We, um, we didn't realize.
Oh, I did. (chuckles)
That interview--
Coming on to me with your hubby watching.
(whispers) fantastic.
Showing up here tonight
Without an invitation...
Or a bathing suit.
(normal voice) we knew right away
You were our kind of couple.
Don't be shy. We're not.
Ahh. Mmm.
Unfortunately, I have a, uh, an early morning.
Maybe another time.
Right.
Another time.
(laughter, indistinct conversations)
Okay, would you just spit it out already?
What was your problem tonight?
That's just not my scene, okay?
So you're not a swinger, Dyson. Big frickin' news flash.
So you blow a chance to get more info on the case?
How do women wear these frickin' shoes? (shoe clatters)
Well, I guess we're just gonna have to find a less sleazy way
Of getting our information. Hey!
You talk to me. I don't want to share you, Bo.
What? I don't want anyone else's hands on your body.
I don't want anyone's mouth on yours.
And I know this is the last thing you want
To hear right now. Why wouldn't I want to hear that?
Because yorere a succubus, Bo.
It's not in your nature to be monogamous. I am fighting my nature for you,
And I am more than just my species,
And I don't see you out there running around
Howling at the moon and chasing rabbits all day.
That's a good point.
I know.
Look, I've been rorough more relationships than you,
And I know that lying about who you are
And trying to change the person that you care about
Never ends well.
I can be intense,
I can be territorial,
And god knows I can be muleheaded.
But I'm also yours...
(chuckles)
If you'll have me.
Dyson, you are an idiot.
You've been mine for a very long time.
Well, you better be careful, 'cause wolves mate for life.
(laughs) oh. Well, you don't scare me,
And I am not making any promises,
And I'm not asking for any in return...
Except one.
What's that?
We keep talking like this.
We stay honest.
The only chance we have of making this work
Is if there are no secrets between us.
(sighs)
You promise?
No secrets. I promise.
And can I just say, wow?
(laughs)
That is the most amount of words I have ever heard you say.
Ohh.
(laughs)
No more words.
(chuckles) no more words. (growls)
(laughs)
(door closes)
(laughs)
Nice threads.
Rules are rules. No booze before 11:00.
I'm not here for a drink.
You look like you could use one.
I'm done, Trick.
No more keeping secrets from Bo.
Either you tell her or I will... By tonight.
Tell her what?
Everything.
(sighs)
I can feel everybody checking me out on the boinkability index.
Oh, relax. They only boink other members.
Oh, that's great. Well, then they'll kill me then.
Yeah, because the file says that the workers had
Three strikes against them.
I have two, and I already racked up another one this morning,
Because I was late. Kenzi, nobody's going to kill you.
(sighs) well, tell that to Neville's cousin.
Well, that is something. Thanks, mate.
Hale?
Yeah.
The, uh, next year's budget came down for our department.
Good or bad? We got a 10% bump.
Well, that's good, right?
It's weird.
And apparently they used me
As the poster boy for the increase.
(chuckles) don't play humble.
You love it, Mr. Thornwood. (chuckles) like I said, it's weird.
Well, maybe the prosperity in this place is contagious.
(sighs) maybe. (spanish accent) coffee? More coffee?
(normal voice, lowered voice) so I asked around,
And, uh, that woman named Blake--
Apparently, she never checked out yesterday. Well, maybe she forgot.
Well, Rita in housekeeping claims that she saw Mitch driving Blake's car.
Hale said something else. You know that file you gave him?
Yeah. He checked the names, and apparently the ones
With three strikes are the ones that are disappearing.
Oh. That's fantastic. That proves my point.
I am murder-fae bait, and when they kill me,
I'm never talking to you ever again.
What do you say we take a walk around?
I think that's a lovely idea.
(grunts and gasps) (clatter)
(spanish accent) ohh. Not me.
Not me.
(pants)
(normal voice, whispers) oh, I'm done for.
You know...
This would not be such a horrible life.
It's almost boring.
Boring, huh?
(chuckles)
Mm.
Well, I look forward to you boring me
For a long time to come.
Me, too. (growls)
What's that?
It's a lottery ticket.
It must've dropped from somebody's pocket.
Oh, honey.
I think I just won $25,000.
What's that thing
About the members becoming suddenly successful?
Yeah, this is all getting really creepy.
Hey.
(sighs) don't do that!
I'm sorry. Forgive me?
Did you find anything?
No. Not even a scent.
You want to bet Blake came out this way
And never came... Back?
Look at this.
It stinks out here.
(sniffs) oh, my god!
Ohh! (whispers) gosh.
Ugh.
What do you want to make a bet this is Blake?
It's human remains, all right. The D.N.A. In your sample
Matches the hair strands Kenzi got from Blake's locker
And also the sample you got from the gardener's cousin.
Lovely. I got more.
(bottle clatters)
All sorts of D.N.A. In that stew...
Including trace amounts of fae.
As in, a fae left some behind
While killing a bunch of humans?
(sighs) that'd be my guess.
Any I.D. On the fae?
Not in our database, but I mean, come on,
How many fae volunteer to donate D.N.A., right?
You know, this is getting way too gross
To play it coy anymore. What do you have in mind?
Well, I've always preferred the direct approach.
I loved it. She used to be a gymnast.
Hi, Mitch.
Yeah, excuse me. I'm in the middle of something.
(lowered voice) I'm gonna call you back. You see? I told you he'd be mad.
I am so sorry we ran out on you last night.
Yeah, well, just when the fun was starting.
Well, she'd like to make it up to you, Mitch.
Oh?
(inhales deeply)
(whispers) ohh.
We know that Blake is dead, and we know that
You and your hot tub buddies like to get rich for murder.
We just want to know how it all works.
(normal voice) we're not the only ones
Who reap the benefits.
Every member gets something out of it.
Everyone? How?
(chuckles) I swear, I don't even know.
(inhales deeply)
(sighs)
Tell us.
(inhales deeply) I don't know how it works,
But I was handpicked by the previous director
To take charge.
He entrusted me
With the secret.
What secret?
Oh, every member of the club gets ahead in life,
In exchange for some of us
Performing sacrifices on their behalf.
Human sacrifices?
Yes, human sacrifices.
Now come on. Don't stop.
Okay. Just-- how does it all work?
Ohh. You know, we get our little group together,
You know, we pick a sacrifice, like a member of the staff,
And we go out into the woods
And--and... Something feeds on them.
What kind of something?
I don't know. Maybe plants.
All so you can have success?
And I don't know how it works,
But every member reaps the rewards.
And our victims, their deaths--
They benefit the society.
I mean, these are illegal immigrants.
They're not even supposed to be here.
Oh. That sounds reasonable.
(sighs) look, we only pick the ones that are incompetent.
Nice management style.
Ohh.
Ugh. Sounds like dark fae to me.
Well, if that's the case, by fae law,
The only rule that's broken is exposing itself to humans.
Meaning? Meaning...
(sighs) it's an infraction for the dark to punish.
I can't intervene, but I can...
(grunting) make sure this piece of garbage doesn't remember
The last five years of his life.
Good times are over, Mitch,
And you won't even remember them.
Okay. (thud, clatter)
So all I have to do is find and defeat a mysterious fae? (panting)
Great.
Good luck.
So there's this fae, and it's gonna eat me. Eat me!
Not if we can find it first. Any help here, Trick?
Well, if you're dealing with a forest-dwelling fae,
It could be any number of species.
Huh. Well, we've got something that might help with that. (sighs, whispers) hey.
Leftovers.
Feeding by-product.
Hoping you might have an opinion or two about it. (clears throat)
(sniffs)
(sighs)
Have the club members been on the receiving end
Of good fortune?
You're gonna say that's bad, aren't you?
Oh. That's not good at all.
Because we're dealing with an evil florist?
It's a land wight. It's a nature fae
That lives in harmony with a piece of land.
(normal voice) a fae hippie?
More of a shifter. It can become completely indistinguishable
From the plants that it takes care of.
Explains why Dyson couldn't pick up a scent.
It flourishes in an organic environment,
Which is its strength but could also be its weakness.
But what does this have to do with everybody's success?
Well, anything that grows in this
Becomes incredibly tasty
And brings prosperity to anyone who eats it.
So this wight likes to eat people?
It secretes a digestive juice onto its victim to soften it up
And then swallows the resulting mass,
And then the product waste becomes fertilizer
For the plants that live on the wight's territory.
Wait a minute.
This fertilizer is fae poop?
Circle of life.
Oh, god.
Yes! This time it wasn't me who had to eat the gross thing.
(sighs) why did I have to eat that salad? Hey. You look sharp, okay?
Am still in danger. You gotta kill this land wight
Before I am the one pushing up the damn rutabagas. Okay. So, right,
So who is most likely to be a land wight around here?
Somebody connected to nature... Using fertilizer.
Creepy groundskeeper. Creepy groundskeeper. Ohh. Okay. So, um...
Look cool. You get to the kitchen, okay?
Okay. Mm-hmm. And, uh, do whatever you can to stop them
From serving any more food. I'll, uh, I'll deal with him. You sure?
(whispers) yeah. (whispers) okay. (normal voice) be careful.
Okay. Bye. Okay.
(normal voice) you are so going down!
(panting) how about a case of indigestion, girl? What?
And I'll be damn sure to burn on my way out,
'cause you are not gonna eat me!
Hey. Aah! I am not, not eating you. You are not, not eating me!
Huh? Because... You're the land wight?
No. I'm the groundskeeper. You work for the monster!
Okay. You've got this all wrong, buddy. Yeah, sure.
You're part of that sick group that feeds the rest of us
to whatever makes that garden grow. How do you know about that?
I've been a groundskeeper for over 30 years.
Nothing natural grows like that,
Especially after people started disappearing.
I mean, how do you think everything grows so nice
When we're not allowed to use herbicides?
Look, I am here trying to figure out what is happening
to those workers. I'm undercover. You a cop?
I'm here to kill that plant thing,
And if it's not you, who is it?
I've been trying to figure that myself for months now.
Well, who else has a vested interest in the garden?
Oh, god. Oh, no, no, no, no.
Yo! Stop! Stop, stop, stop. It's the garden, okay? Kenzi!
(bowl clatters) it's, like, an attack of the mutant tomatoes
Or something. Neville, give us a moment.
(panting) what are you doing?
(bowl clatters) do you trust me? Okay, these are dangerous to the staff,
And do you know what the hell these grew out of? I most certainly do.
(gasps) (rustling)
(choking)
(strained voice) this is not my day.
(gasping)
You get your slimy vines off of her, or I will chop them off.
No human talks to me like that and lives.
Who's human? Huh. So what's your problem, sister?
Uh, you're drooling all over my friend here,
And frankly, eating people is so low-rent.
This is my land. I cultivate it.
The creatures I allow to live on my plants have great lives.
But I gotta eat, too.
(strained voice) why people?
Because you taste so damn good.
If the humans didn't like the deal,
They never should've developed on my territory. Their choice.
Hey. Except the ones that you ate never got to choose,
So this ends as of now.
(panting)
(laughs) what, you think you can take me?
Try it.
Any bruise, any nick, any cut--
It'll grow back like it never happened.
Really?
Well, let's see how you like the taste of herbicide.
(Kenzi) yeah, villagers and pitchforks
Never made a good combo, did they? (knife clatters)
(panting) y-you're gonna be a party to murder?
Actually, no, I'm not.
This is between you and your prey.
Kitchen's all yours.
(amy screams)
(sighs) well, this must be the weirdest thing you guys ever dealt with.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Definitely the, uh, the weirdest thing we have ever seen.
But none of you can tell anyone ever.
Yeah, who's gonna believe us anyway?
(sighs) what a frickin' nightmare.
I still don't understand what went down, you know?
Yeah, well,
Some things are better off as mysteries, you know?
What am I gonna tell Thumper's parents back home?
What are they gonna live on?
They needed every last penny he was sending back to them.
Well, it's, uh,
It's not much consolation,
But give them the money from this.
You're not gonna...
Wait another minute to help this poor man's family,
Are you?
No. I can't accept this.
Trust me. Those winnings aren't mine.
(whispers) take it.
Take it.
Thank you.
Thanks.
(Hale) what's it saying?
Chatter from the dark community--
Land wight was killed by humans.
Nobody suspects Bo's involvement.
So no one will come looking for revenge. Awesome.
And as we speak, Mitch is having his memory erased
By the, uh, "drunk" in the holding cell next to him.
What about his buddies?
Well, now that the wight's dead,
Their prosperity should take a nosedive.
The faster they rise, the more devastating the fall.
(laughs)
You better watch your own fortunes then, Mr. Country club.
Well, lucky for me, I barely touched the food.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, by the way, the paperwork--
It's all yours. How is that for a start?
Thank you.
You talk to Bo?
It wasn't the right time.
For something like this, there is never a right time.
Dyson, please.
(beeps)
(cell phone rings, beep)
Why, yes, I could use the longest, hardest back rub.
Look, we gotta talk. We're talking.
Not over the phone. It's important.
What, are you still mad about the polo shirt?
No. Look, I gotta go to the cop shop
To put this thing to bed. Can I come over after? Well, as I recall,
Your office gets pretty empty this time of night.
Why don't I bring you dinner?
You remember how to let yourself in?
Desk sergeants are like putty in my hands.
I'll see you in a bit.
(footsteps approaching)
Can I help you?
Actually, I think I can help you.
I'm the one you've been looking for.
(screaming)
(growls and gasps)
Now do you know who I am? (inhales deeply)
Say my name, bitch!
(inhaling deeply)
(high-pitched voice) ahh.
(grunts) aah.
(grunting and gasping)
(moans and inhales deeply) ahh. Say my name.
(strained voice) aife.
(laughs)
(panting and moaning)
(laughs)
(whispers) aah.
Oh.
This is embarrassing.
You weren't supposed to see this.
(panting) hey. Come on. Stay with me.
You are one hell of a toxic friend, Saskia.
I was doing you a favor. (whispers) come on.
It's not like he put up much of a fight. Try me.
Uhh! (clatter)
A succubus letting a man own her ass?
Not on my watch.
Come on, sweetie. We'll be good for each other.
Aah! (grunts)
(panting)
(laughs)
You know, you're really a hard friend to help.
(grunts)
(clatter)
(gasping) (panting) hey. Come on. Come on. Stay with me, Dyson.
Come on. Stay with me.
Come on.
I don't know how to do this.
(exhales deeply)
Come on.
(exhales deeply)
(voice breaks) come on. Come on. Stay with me.
Come on.
(exhales deeply)
(inhales deeply)
Ohh. (gasps)
Okay.
(coughs, strained voice) Bo.
It's okay. I'm here. I'm here. It's okay.
(panting)
It's okay. It's okay.
(panting)
(whispers) oh, Bo, I'm so sorry.
(whispers) no, it's okay.
(normal voice) you're okay.
(whispers) you're okay.
(grunting and gasping)