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Sync & corrections by Rafael
UPD www.addic7ed.com/
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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mmm.
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00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:10,783
Ugh.
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Hot 'n' brown's coffee
really wakes me up
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to the fact
that its coffee sucks.
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I miss having a coffee shop.
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Now where am I going
to get my cappuccinos
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00:00:17,064 --> 00:00:18,898
and Sarah McLachlan CDs?
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00:00:18,899 --> 00:00:20,516
It wasn't that great.
If had this space,
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00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:22,685
I would have served fresh fruit
and sandwiches,
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00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:23,852
and I would've got rid
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00:00:23,853 --> 00:00:25,187
of that take-a-penny,
leave-a-penny nonsense.
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If the good lord wanted you
to have a penny,
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- you'd have one.
- Pierce...
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Why do you look
like a wealthy murderer?
16
00:00:31,528 --> 00:00:33,079
I look like an entrepreneur.
17
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,198
Now that my dad's gone, I'm
expanding Hawthorne industries
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00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:39,051
by investing in new products.
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- Like... these.
- What's that?
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It's an automatic
security camera
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that can tell your friends
from intruders.
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How does it work?
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Your guests have arrived.
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00:00:49,212 --> 00:00:52,348
Threat level four.
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00:00:52,349 --> 00:00:53,566
Your guests have arrived.
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It's not calibrated.
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Wireless racism.
The future of the past is now.
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00:00:58,368 --> 00:01:00,773
Why don't you put your money
into a good idea, like Shirley?
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Oh, I made that offer
the first day I met her.
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She almost broke my nose.
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00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:05,361
I mean, Shirley's good
with food,
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00:01:05,362 --> 00:01:08,281
you have capital,
and Greendale has real estate.
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00:01:08,282 --> 00:01:09,665
What are you talking about,
Britta?
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00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:11,334
I'm talking about
the whole reason you came here...
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00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:13,119
- To start a business.
- Hmm.
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00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,670
What do you think, Shirley?
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Should I have my people
call your people?
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I mean, not your people.
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I could think about it.
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♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
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00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:25,914
is Shirley Bennett
in the house?
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the year was 1991.
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00:01:30,253 --> 00:01:31,637
♪ Ah-ooh...
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Andre, what are you doing here?
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Oh!
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♪ Boys II men, going on
49
00:01:40,063 --> 00:01:41,764
♪ not too hard...
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Spring fling dance.
51
00:01:43,266 --> 00:01:46,485
See, that's where I first
laid eyes on Shirley Edwards.
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00:01:46,486 --> 00:01:50,468
A vision in hyper color
and hammer pants.
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00:01:50,469 --> 00:01:54,276
Baby girl, I have loved you ever
since there was a Soviet union
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00:01:54,277 --> 00:01:56,111
- and only one Damon Wayans.
- Oh.
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Baby, I know
I've made mistakes,
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but I'm so happy
we've made it through.
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00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,451
But there's one thing,
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00:02:02,452 --> 00:02:05,101
something important,
that we keep putting off.
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00:02:05,102 --> 00:02:07,006
Oh.
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00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:09,725
Will you, Shirley Bennett,
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00:02:09,726 --> 00:02:12,895
marry me, Andre Bennett, again?
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Yes, yes, again!
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00:02:21,738 --> 00:02:24,306
Shall I notify authorities?
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♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
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00:02:28,111 --> 00:02:30,863
♪ Give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
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00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:34,116
♪ Somebody said
we could be here ♪
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♪ We could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
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00:02:38,255 --> 00:02:43,926
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
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00:02:43,927 --> 00:02:48,014
♪ One by one they all
just fade away ♪
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00:02:51,134 --> 00:02:52,898
It's cool that Andre and Shirley
are getting married again.
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00:02:52,899 --> 00:02:54,942
There's a whole generation of viewers
that didn't get to see the original.
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00:02:54,943 --> 00:02:57,223
Let's hope it's more of
a bale than a Kilmer situation.
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00:02:57,224 --> 00:02:58,974
Second weddings are okay,
I guess.
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00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:00,476
If I had to rank 'em, uh...
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00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:02,912
It would go
fourth, seventh, second,
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00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:05,281
fifth, first, third, sixth.
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00:03:05,282 --> 00:03:07,433
- No, wait... first then fifth.
- Got it...
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00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,635
Fourth, seventh, second, first,
fifth, third, sixth.
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00:03:09,636 --> 00:03:11,787
When's our culture gonna
outgrow this wedding thing?
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00:03:11,788 --> 00:03:13,522
You're anti-wedding, now?
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00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:15,046
No, she's just pro-anti.
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No to everything you both said.
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Weddings are like little girls'
tea parties,
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except the women
are the stuffed animals,
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the men are making them talk,
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00:03:22,499 --> 00:03:23,833
and they're not drinking tea,
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00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,868
they're drinking
antiquated gender roles.
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00:03:25,869 --> 00:03:27,853
Somebody tell Britta
what an analogy is.
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I know what it is.
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00:03:29,372 --> 00:03:33,208
It's like a thought
with another thought's hat on.
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00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:34,543
Hmm.
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00:03:34,544 --> 00:03:36,562
Look, I can't get behind
this marriage thing, either.
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It was invented back
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00:03:37,848 --> 00:03:39,765
when "till death"
meant "till your first cold."
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00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:42,218
I mean, life's too long
to spend it with someone else.
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00:03:42,219 --> 00:03:44,070
- It's a sucker's game.
- It's a mutual cop out.
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00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:46,772
I mean, just nut up
and die alone.
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00:03:46,773 --> 00:03:48,441
- Mmm.
- Hello.
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00:03:48,442 --> 00:03:50,342
Oh, my God, we're so happy
for you!
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00:03:50,343 --> 00:03:52,244
- You are glowing.
- I know, isn't it exciting?
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00:03:52,245 --> 00:03:53,863
The rehearsal is in two days,
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00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:54,997
and the wedding
is the day after that,
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00:03:54,998 --> 00:03:56,231
on our anniversary.
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00:03:56,232 --> 00:03:57,566
And I'm sure you all
can make it,
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because you're already here.
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You're having your wedding
in the study room?
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00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:01,904
Our church has certain policies
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00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:04,073
regarding things
like second weddings,
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00:04:04,074 --> 00:04:05,791
and tight jeans and...
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00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,176
Calico cats.
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00:04:07,177 --> 00:04:09,211
Um, Jeff, I was wondering
if you would do us the honor
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00:04:09,212 --> 00:04:11,363
of giving a toast
at our wedding?
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Good idea!
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Jeff has a lot of thoughts
about marriage.
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00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:16,018
I would be honored.
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Shirley, do you need
any help with your wedding?
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00:04:18,421 --> 00:04:19,672
This probably sounds silly,
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00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:21,690
but every time I see
a wedding idea I like,
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I put it in a little scrapbook.
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00:04:22,943 --> 00:04:25,628
Oh, that's nice.
Ooh.
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We can help too.
We just saw
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00:04:26,863 --> 00:04:28,263
the inspector spacetime
wedding episode,
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00:04:28,264 --> 00:04:29,815
so we know what pitfalls
to avoid.
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00:04:29,816 --> 00:04:31,784
Be sure to get a DNA reading
of your prospective mate.
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00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:33,791
Inspector spacetime ended up
marrying himself as a baby.
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I think I got this.
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Everyone just come and...
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Relax and behave normally.
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That's the noise people make
when they're offended
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00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:48,784
in all the movies
that Annie rents.
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We'll try not to embarrass you
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00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:52,588
at your community college
library wedding.
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00:04:52,589 --> 00:04:53,956
- Thank you.
- Oh, Shirley,
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00:04:53,957 --> 00:04:55,641
I managed to set up a meeting
with the Dean,
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00:04:55,642 --> 00:04:57,691
so we can pitch him
our sandwich shop idea.
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00:04:57,692 --> 00:04:59,693
I've already registered
a website...
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00:04:59,694 --> 00:05:04,850
It's, uh, h-t-t-p, colon,
forward slash, forward slash,
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00:05:04,851 --> 00:05:07,586
w-w-w, period,
members, period,
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00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:11,079
webplicity custom sites...
All one word... period,
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00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:13,025
- c-o...
- Oh, I don't know, Pierce.
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00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:15,211
I'm way too busy for that now
with the wedding and everything.
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00:05:15,212 --> 00:05:16,712
Bye-bye, everybody.
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00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:18,831
- I have to practice my walk.
- Ooh.
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00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:22,585
Great.
145
00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:24,968
Another business venture
down the toilet.
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00:05:24,969 --> 00:05:27,723
No problem,
I've still got plan "C."
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00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:31,493
Ladies and gentlemen,
the trouser bench.
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00:05:35,832 --> 00:05:37,983
For the man on the go
who makes frequent stops.
149
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:43,606
Will somebody please call
all the ambulances?
150
00:05:43,607 --> 00:05:44,773
I can't believe Shirley.
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00:05:44,774 --> 00:05:45,958
We should show up
at this wedding
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00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:47,276
and be the most normal people
in the world.
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00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:48,510
Yeah, I could go as normal man
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00:05:48,511 --> 00:05:50,062
and you could be
my trusty sidekick ordinario.
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00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:52,781
No.
That's already weird.
156
00:05:52,782 --> 00:05:54,149
We'd be playing into her hand.
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00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:57,403
We should just show up
wearing boring gray suits
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00:05:57,404 --> 00:06:00,122
with gray ties and gray shirts.
159
00:06:00,123 --> 00:06:01,574
We could dye our hair gray.
160
00:06:01,575 --> 00:06:03,826
And then we could lay down on
the sidewalk and be invisible.
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00:06:03,827 --> 00:06:05,461
You know,
maybe Shirley's got a point.
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00:06:05,462 --> 00:06:07,246
I have an idea.
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00:06:07,247 --> 00:06:09,721
What if we purged all
the weirdness from our systems?
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00:06:09,722 --> 00:06:11,834
- You mean...
- A full 24-hour weird-down
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00:06:11,835 --> 00:06:13,135
in the dreamatorium.
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00:06:13,136 --> 00:06:14,920
Just you, me, and our
imaginations... no restraints.
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00:06:14,921 --> 00:06:17,256
By the wedding, our temptation
to act weird will be gone.
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00:06:17,257 --> 00:06:19,675
I'm feeling more normal already.
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00:06:19,676 --> 00:06:21,376
- Crab walk home?
- Yeah.
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00:06:24,648 --> 00:06:28,601
Shirley, my ninth-grade
English teacher used to say,
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00:06:28,602 --> 00:06:31,020
"there will always be a reason
not to follow your dreams."
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00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:33,572
At the time, he meant
I was under the age of consent.
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00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:35,524
But his words still apply.
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00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,327
Are you sure your wedding
is the reason you're bailing
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00:06:38,328 --> 00:06:40,446
- on this business with Pierce?
- Uh, in the words
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00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:42,230
of my ninth-grade
English teacher,
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00:06:42,231 --> 00:06:44,283
"you are dippin' and dappin' and
don't know what's happenin'."
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00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:45,701
Fine, we both went
to public school.
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00:06:45,702 --> 00:06:47,836
It's just that
I don't want to see you slide
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00:06:47,837 --> 00:06:50,372
- into your old comfort zone.
- You don't know that.
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00:06:50,373 --> 00:06:53,342
I am gonna start a business...
Soon!
182
00:06:53,343 --> 00:06:55,711
I can't help it if I have
floral arrangements to pick
183
00:06:55,712 --> 00:06:56,912
and a DJ to hire...
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00:06:56,913 --> 00:06:58,347
Shirley,
if that really is your excuse,
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00:06:58,348 --> 00:07:01,283
I will plan
your wedding for you!
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00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:08,641
Ooh-hoo!
Thank you.
187
00:07:08,642 --> 00:07:10,225
Oh, my good God.
Thank you for that.
188
00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:13,579
I was serious.
189
00:07:16,316 --> 00:07:17,664
Britta, you're not
planning my wedding.
190
00:07:17,665 --> 00:07:19,535
- What if Annie helps?
- Oh, hey, guys.
191
00:07:19,536 --> 00:07:22,037
Did someone say "Annie",
"help," "wedding,"
192
00:07:22,038 --> 00:07:23,872
and something
about maybe hydrangeas?
193
00:07:23,873 --> 00:07:25,124
Shirley,
you can lie to yourself,
194
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:26,542
but you can't lie to me.
195
00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:30,802
Do not use your second wedding
as an excuse to limit yourself.
196
00:07:30,803 --> 00:07:33,805
Pierce, come here.
197
00:07:33,806 --> 00:07:38,310
Shirley, do you take this man
to be your business partner?
198
00:07:38,311 --> 00:07:40,186
- Mmm, I guess.
- Sure.
199
00:07:40,187 --> 00:07:42,141
I had to shelve
the trouser bench anyway.
200
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:43,976
There are still some parts
of the prototype
201
00:07:43,977 --> 00:07:47,696
that need to be extracted.
202
00:07:47,697 --> 00:07:50,316
Maybe you're misunderstanding?
203
00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:53,152
I mean, from my butt.
204
00:07:53,153 --> 00:07:54,636
Excuse me.
205
00:07:57,688 --> 00:07:59,495
Meet Shirley,
206
00:07:59,496 --> 00:08:02,395
she's modern, she's urban,
she's fun, and she's hungry.
207
00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:05,565
You probably notice she's black,
but not a stereotype...
208
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:07,900
- Suburban black.
- Is she suburban or urban?
209
00:08:07,901 --> 00:08:09,318
She's half-urban.
210
00:08:09,319 --> 00:08:12,104
Let's say...
Writer's secret, bad pitch...
211
00:08:12,105 --> 00:08:15,224
Her father's a record producer,
her mother's a Shirelle.
212
00:08:15,225 --> 00:08:17,360
We're supposed to be
preparing a business pitch.
213
00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:20,062
What about revenue projections?
What are the margins gonna be?
214
00:08:20,063 --> 00:08:22,048
Shirley, Shirley, Shirley,
215
00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:24,066
Shirley, Shirley,
Shirley, Shirley.
216
00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:27,336
Sweet, innocent Shirley.
217
00:08:27,337 --> 00:08:29,922
- What was the question?
- Look,
218
00:08:29,923 --> 00:08:32,174
this was Britta's stupid idea.
219
00:08:32,175 --> 00:08:33,859
I'd rather be with my man,
planning my wedding,
220
00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:36,979
and you'd clearly rather be
with Halle Berry in 1999.
221
00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:40,099
Pleasure not doing business
with you.
222
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:44,020
Shirley,
Hawthorne wipes fired me.
223
00:08:46,073 --> 00:08:49,975
They were just waiting for my
dad to be out of the picture.
224
00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:51,777
I'm not an entrepreneur.
225
00:08:51,778 --> 00:08:53,812
I'm just a kid
with a bunch of money, I...
226
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:58,150
Please, please,
help me be somebody.
227
00:08:58,151 --> 00:09:01,153
Let me invest in you.
228
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:09,095
First thing we need
to figure out is our overhead.
229
00:09:09,096 --> 00:09:10,429
Do you have a pen?
230
00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,465
Yeah.
231
00:09:12,466 --> 00:09:14,050
Oops.
232
00:09:14,051 --> 00:09:15,885
These pockets.
233
00:09:15,886 --> 00:09:17,503
Do you know someone
that can buy a pen?
234
00:09:17,504 --> 00:09:18,543
Yes!
235
00:09:18,544 --> 00:09:20,473
Well, have you thought
about the color story
236
00:09:20,474 --> 00:09:21,641
for your wedding?
237
00:09:21,642 --> 00:09:22,725
He means
the theme of the wedding.
238
00:09:22,726 --> 00:09:24,393
- Right, Dale?
- Mm-hmm.
239
00:09:24,394 --> 00:09:25,645
Same theme as every wedding...
240
00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:27,880
Conformity, blind participation,
and patriarchal...
241
00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:29,699
- What about pink?
- We don't call it pink.
242
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,233
We don't call anything
by its name.
243
00:09:31,234 --> 00:09:32,952
That's, like,
day-one floral school stuff.
244
00:09:32,953 --> 00:09:35,071
This is citrine.
This is opalescent.
245
00:09:35,072 --> 00:09:37,623
This is sea glass, cameo,
and cerulean.
246
00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:40,192
Come on, how difficult is this?
247
00:09:40,193 --> 00:09:42,461
You do one of these,
one of these,
248
00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:44,664
one of these, this one,
249
00:09:44,665 --> 00:09:47,866
this one and, like,
stick a ribbon on it. Happy?
250
00:09:50,637 --> 00:09:52,538
Britta, that's a really
beautiful arrangement.
251
00:09:52,539 --> 00:09:54,390
Color me lavender.
252
00:09:54,391 --> 00:09:56,008
"Lavender" means "impressed."
253
00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:59,395
Yeah, well, great...
Flowers look good in a pot.
254
00:09:59,396 --> 00:10:01,147
There are people dying
in Uganda.
255
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:04,684
Got it.
256
00:10:04,685 --> 00:10:06,519
What!
257
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,853
Ugh!
258
00:10:07,854 --> 00:10:09,922
- Ahh, ahh, ahh.
- Don't eat my skin!
259
00:10:09,923 --> 00:10:12,692
I am shaving everything!
260
00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:15,411
- Well, that should do it.
- Yeah.
261
00:10:15,412 --> 00:10:17,229
My God, isn't tonight
Shirley's wedding rehearsal?
262
00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:18,364
Look at how we're dressed.
263
00:10:18,365 --> 00:10:19,632
Yes, this simply won't do.
264
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:20,833
Let's change
into something appropriate
265
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,084
for the occasion
and be on our way.
266
00:10:22,085 --> 00:10:23,202
I agree.
267
00:10:23,203 --> 00:10:27,072
Troy and Abed being normal.
268
00:10:30,377 --> 00:10:31,844
Annie!
269
00:10:31,845 --> 00:10:34,363
I need your help.
270
00:10:34,364 --> 00:10:37,383
Um, you're, like,
sentimental and stuff.
271
00:10:37,384 --> 00:10:38,718
Oh!
272
00:10:38,719 --> 00:10:40,236
I'm really having trouble
coming up with a toast.
273
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:42,021
I find that hard
to believe, Jeff.
274
00:10:42,022 --> 00:10:43,239
You once convinced Troy
275
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,740
that turtlenecks
were made of turtles' necks.
276
00:10:44,741 --> 00:10:47,727
It's true, my superpower is
that I can assume any position
277
00:10:47,728 --> 00:10:49,812
that suits my purpose.
In that example...
278
00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:52,064
Keeping turtlenecks as an option
for myself, down the road.
279
00:10:52,065 --> 00:10:54,150
But I do have a kryptonite.
280
00:10:54,151 --> 00:10:56,452
It's so obvious to me
that marriage is dumb,
281
00:10:56,453 --> 00:10:57,987
I can't even pretend
to get behind it.
282
00:10:57,988 --> 00:10:59,705
You know what I think
would make the perfect toast?
283
00:10:59,706 --> 00:11:02,775
You, as Shirley's friend
and a good guy,
284
00:11:02,776 --> 00:11:04,577
just saying what's really
in your heart.
285
00:11:04,578 --> 00:11:07,713
There's something real
in there.
286
00:11:07,714 --> 00:11:11,450
Maybe that's what scares you.
287
00:11:21,843 --> 00:11:23,729
I could use a drink.
288
00:11:23,730 --> 00:11:25,964
Shirley's sandwiches
can offer students
289
00:11:25,965 --> 00:11:27,800
more food for less money,
and provide the campus
290
00:11:27,801 --> 00:11:29,402
with a higher percentage
of the profits.
291
00:11:29,403 --> 00:11:30,436
Pierce, put up the next slide.
292
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:32,371
That's me!
293
00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:35,107
Where'd I get all that money
I'm holding?
294
00:11:35,108 --> 00:11:36,525
I'm gonna tell you
the three reasons
295
00:11:36,526 --> 00:11:38,494
that Shirley's sandwiches
and your cafeteria are going
296
00:11:38,495 --> 00:11:39,695
to be successful.
297
00:11:39,696 --> 00:11:41,497
Well, then
I'm writing this down, hmm?
298
00:11:41,498 --> 00:11:43,482
Wait.
299
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,251
Here's a pen.
300
00:11:45,252 --> 00:11:47,503
Thank you.
301
00:11:50,791 --> 00:11:55,377
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh
302
00:11:55,378 --> 00:11:57,263
- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh...
- Holy crap!
303
00:11:57,264 --> 00:11:58,597
Britta, you're really good
at this.
304
00:11:58,598 --> 00:12:01,133
- I know.
- What's wrong with you?
305
00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:03,419
This may shock you, Annie,
but I come from a long line
306
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:06,138
- of wives and mothers.
- Many do.
307
00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:08,023
But I ran away from it
my whole life.
308
00:12:08,024 --> 00:12:10,443
I refused to give Santa
a Christmas list,
309
00:12:10,444 --> 00:12:12,678
because I didn't want to depend
on any man for anything.
310
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:13,946
And now, look at me!
311
00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:16,232
I'm Betty Crocker.
I'm Martha Stewart.
312
00:12:16,233 --> 00:12:18,267
I'm one of
the Steppenwolf wives.
313
00:12:18,268 --> 00:12:21,070
Ohh, God.
314
00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:22,955
I'm gonna make some man
very happy someday.
315
00:12:22,956 --> 00:12:25,291
Ooh. Easy.
Slow down.
316
00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,642
What's with you guys?
317
00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:27,810
We de-whimsified ourselves.
318
00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,161
Yep. We're normal now.
319
00:12:29,162 --> 00:12:31,497
Oh. Good?
320
00:12:31,498 --> 00:12:33,031
Hey, anybody seen Shirley?
321
00:12:33,032 --> 00:12:34,550
What? Shirley's late to
the rehearsal for her wedding?
322
00:12:34,551 --> 00:12:35,718
Oh, my.
323
00:12:35,719 --> 00:12:37,486
Hey, man. You don't have
to be sarcastic.
324
00:12:37,487 --> 00:12:38,721
I'm not being sarcastic.
325
00:12:38,722 --> 00:12:40,205
We're heavily invested
in your situation.
326
00:12:40,206 --> 00:12:41,640
Nothing's more important to us
327
00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:43,542
than your second wedding's
rehearsal going smoothly.
328
00:12:43,543 --> 00:12:47,546
Walk away, man.
329
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:53,152
Hey!
Did you think of a toast?
330
00:12:53,153 --> 00:12:54,236
Well, yeah.
331
00:12:54,237 --> 00:12:55,938
Uh, I had a drink,
332
00:12:55,939 --> 00:12:58,073
and I looked in my heart,
333
00:12:58,074 --> 00:13:02,060
and here's what I got so far...
334
00:13:02,061 --> 00:13:03,863
"Webster's dictionary defines..."
335
00:13:03,864 --> 00:13:05,347
Gah! Stop!
336
00:13:05,348 --> 00:13:07,166
"Webster's dictionary defines"?
337
00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:09,401
That's the Jim Belushi
of speech openings...
338
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:11,203
It accomplishes nothing,
but everyone keeps using it
339
00:13:11,204 --> 00:13:13,372
- and nobody understands why.
- Yeah, well, it's all I got.
340
00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,875
That took me eight hours
and six macallan neatses.
341
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:18,210
Look, I'm sorry, I just
don't believe in marriage.
342
00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:19,712
I do.
It's inevitable.
343
00:13:21,574 --> 00:13:25,201
And then I'd put a counter
across here and the ovens there.
344
00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:26,719
Okay, okay.
345
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,255
And how fiscal will
the quarterly earnings be?
346
00:13:30,256 --> 00:13:31,807
Well, initially, the fiscal...
347
00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:32,925
Wait, that question makes
no sense.
348
00:13:32,926 --> 00:13:34,226
Ah! I know.
349
00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:36,612
I just want to sound
as good at business as you are.
350
00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:38,614
I probably shouldn't say this,
351
00:13:38,615 --> 00:13:41,033
but I cannot believe you learned
all this at Greendale.
352
00:13:41,034 --> 00:13:44,069
- You're very professional.
- I am, aren't I?
353
00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:47,323
I brought sodas,
so we can toast to our futures.
354
00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:49,608
Look at me now, dad.
355
00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:50,943
Dad?
Oh, my God,
356
00:13:50,944 --> 00:13:52,294
I'm supposed to be
looking like a bride
357
00:13:52,295 --> 00:13:55,381
for my wedding rehearsal
to the dad of my children.
358
00:13:55,382 --> 00:13:57,333
That was...
359
00:13:57,334 --> 00:13:59,552
And odd dot to connect.
360
00:14:04,307 --> 00:14:07,176
Give me another.
361
00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:08,227
Mmm.
362
00:14:12,048 --> 00:14:14,683
What's with you?
363
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:16,485
This is who I am.
364
00:14:16,486 --> 00:14:17,853
Andre, sorry I'm late.
365
00:14:17,854 --> 00:14:19,154
I have wonderful news.
366
00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:21,824
- Where were you?
- Uh, getting wonderful news.
367
00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:23,308
The Dean loved our pitch and...
368
00:14:23,309 --> 00:14:24,577
Your pitch?
369
00:14:24,578 --> 00:14:26,161
Woman, I've been waiting for you
for two hours.
370
00:14:26,162 --> 00:14:27,346
Oh, no.
Has it been that long?
371
00:14:27,347 --> 00:14:28,614
I'm so sorry.
372
00:14:28,615 --> 00:14:30,449
Don't you dare
use your sexy voice on me.
373
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,785
Ohh.
374
00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:34,086
It's just a rehearsal.
375
00:14:34,087 --> 00:14:35,621
Lord knows
we've done it before.
376
00:14:35,622 --> 00:14:37,806
That's not the point.
377
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:39,341
Shirley, I thought
this wedding was supposed
378
00:14:39,342 --> 00:14:41,176
to be the start of us
getting back to normal.
379
00:14:41,177 --> 00:14:42,661
- Back to normal?
- Yes.
380
00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:44,763
I need to not be
Mr. Mom anymore.
381
00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:46,932
Okay, I got to get back
to my stereo business.
382
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,684
You know my store's
been struggling.
383
00:14:48,685 --> 00:14:50,135
I'm sorry, Andre,
384
00:14:50,136 --> 00:14:52,438
but "normal" went out the door
the day you did.
385
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:54,473
Well, if we can't get back
to the way things were,
386
00:14:54,474 --> 00:14:56,442
why the hell are we
getting remarried?
387
00:15:02,782 --> 00:15:04,750
Oy...
388
00:15:04,751 --> 00:15:06,602
These shrimp are to die for.
389
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,078
Yah, yah, yah!
390
00:15:11,079 --> 00:15:13,163
Yah, yah, yah!
391
00:15:14,523 --> 00:15:15,723
Walk the plank.
392
00:15:15,724 --> 00:15:17,859
I think you've mistaken us
for pirates.
393
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:19,844
We are
community college students.
394
00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,748
Abed, I just had
an odd thought.
395
00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:25,283
What if once you go
from being weird to normal,
396
00:15:25,284 --> 00:15:27,018
you can never go back
to being weird again?
397
00:15:27,019 --> 00:15:28,403
That is an odd thought.
398
00:15:28,404 --> 00:15:29,687
Well, let's hope it's the last.
399
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:33,291
Cheers to that,
my everyday friend.
400
00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:34,542
Hello, everyone.
401
00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:38,546
Shirley asked me to say
something nice at her wedding.
402
00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:40,915
- This is the rehearsal.
- Shut up, Leonard!
403
00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:43,201
Those teenage girls you play
ping-pong with are doing it ironically.
404
00:15:43,202 --> 00:15:44,836
Well!
405
00:15:44,837 --> 00:15:46,387
I searched my heart...
406
00:15:46,388 --> 00:15:50,008
For something nice to say
at a wedding.
407
00:15:50,009 --> 00:15:52,677
And I found nothing,
so I had a drink.
408
00:15:52,678 --> 00:15:55,730
And then I looked real hard.
409
00:15:55,731 --> 00:15:59,400
And you know what I found?
410
00:15:59,401 --> 00:16:03,404
My daddy said he would stay
with my mommy forever,
411
00:16:03,405 --> 00:16:05,123
and he left!
412
00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:08,193
Marriage is a lie!
Nobody commits to this!
413
00:16:08,194 --> 00:16:09,661
Nobody stays with anybody
forever,
414
00:16:09,662 --> 00:16:11,696
so why do we keep lying?
415
00:16:11,697 --> 00:16:12,897
I'm gonna stay
with somebody forever.
416
00:16:12,898 --> 00:16:15,450
It's in my stupid DNA.
417
00:16:15,451 --> 00:16:19,170
I was born to be a wife and
that's all I'm ever gonna be!
418
00:16:19,171 --> 00:16:20,571
You expect anyone here
to believe that?
419
00:16:20,572 --> 00:16:23,174
I don't care if anybody
believes it, jackass!
420
00:16:23,175 --> 00:16:25,076
- It's a fact!
- Prove it, ding dong!
421
00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:26,461
There are a lot of layers
to this.
422
00:16:26,462 --> 00:16:28,897
It's almost too conceptual
to follow, but...
423
00:16:28,898 --> 00:16:30,465
I love it.
424
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:32,500
So that's what this
was all about, Andre?
425
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:34,018
Just about wanting me back
in the kitchen?
426
00:16:34,019 --> 00:16:35,887
I thought you loved
being a wife and a mother.
427
00:16:35,888 --> 00:16:37,088
Of course, but can't you see
428
00:16:37,089 --> 00:16:38,139
that's not all
I'm about anymore.
429
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:39,958
Hi, sorry,
don't want to interrupt.
430
00:16:39,959 --> 00:16:42,694
But you are cordially invited
to prevent a disaster.
431
00:16:42,695 --> 00:16:45,280
I promise to put your dreams
before mine.
432
00:16:45,281 --> 00:16:46,881
I promise to bottle up
my repulsion
433
00:16:46,882 --> 00:16:48,432
at the sight of your hair
in the drain.
434
00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:51,653
I promise to earn no more than
70% of what you would make
435
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:52,937
at the same job.
436
00:16:52,938 --> 00:16:54,489
- What about babies?
- What about 'em?
437
00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:55,740
- How many?
- Pick a number, dick!
438
00:16:55,741 --> 00:16:56,874
Like, it's up to me!
439
00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,660
What in God's name
are you two doing?
440
00:16:58,661 --> 00:17:00,128
Getting married.
441
00:17:00,129 --> 00:17:01,779
What does it look like
we're doing?
442
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:04,115
You two are damn fools.
Oh, sorry.
443
00:17:04,116 --> 00:17:06,117
- I'll allow it.
- I am a fool.
444
00:17:06,118 --> 00:17:10,171
I was a fool to think I wasn't
destined for a life of this.
445
00:17:10,172 --> 00:17:11,455
I mean, look around.
446
00:17:11,456 --> 00:17:14,392
Can you even imagine what kind
of wedding I could throw
447
00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:16,294
if I actually gave a crap?
448
00:17:16,295 --> 00:17:19,297
- No offense.
- Knock it off.
449
00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:21,516
Being good at weddings doesn't
make you good at marriage.
450
00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:22,650
Exactly.
451
00:17:22,651 --> 00:17:23,901
People can make all sorts
of promises,
452
00:17:23,902 --> 00:17:25,520
but they never stick it out.
453
00:17:25,521 --> 00:17:27,689
It's not something you
just stick out, man, all right?
454
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:28,906
It's a risk
that you take together.
455
00:17:28,907 --> 00:17:30,808
And you don't
just promise it once.
456
00:17:30,809 --> 00:17:32,610
You got to promise it
every day.
457
00:17:32,611 --> 00:17:34,195
Yes, but the person you're
making promises to
458
00:17:34,196 --> 00:17:36,614
is going to change.
You have to accept that.
459
00:17:36,615 --> 00:17:39,617
I do.
But do you promise to be patient
460
00:17:39,618 --> 00:17:42,153
when that person's stereo
business takes a little while
461
00:17:42,154 --> 00:17:44,155
- to get off the ground.
- I do, but...
462
00:17:44,156 --> 00:17:46,107
Do you accept that ten years
is more than a little while
463
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,592
and that iPods
aren't going away,
464
00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:51,629
and maybe it's time to let
somebody else take the lead?
465
00:17:51,630 --> 00:17:52,764
I do.
466
00:17:52,765 --> 00:17:55,049
You do?
467
00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:58,386
Yes, baby, I swear I do.
468
00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:00,355
Then I promise I will do
whatever it takes
469
00:18:00,356 --> 00:18:02,106
to make this work forever.
470
00:18:02,107 --> 00:18:04,142
Oh!
471
00:18:04,143 --> 00:18:06,510
Well, in that case,
let's rehearse this bad boy.
472
00:18:06,511 --> 00:18:07,812
- Mm-hmm.
- Actually,
473
00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,230
you pretty much just married
each other.
474
00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:11,032
If you let me pronounce you
man and wife,
475
00:18:11,033 --> 00:18:12,483
you can kiss the bride
476
00:18:12,484 --> 00:18:14,786
and you can save like, um,
70 bucks.
477
00:18:14,787 --> 00:18:16,354
- What do you say, baby?
- Mmm.
478
00:18:16,355 --> 00:18:18,139
Mm-hmm.
479
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:20,325
Done and done.
Husband and wife.
480
00:18:20,326 --> 00:18:22,410
Now how about it?
481
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:26,497
Let's party!
482
00:18:26,498 --> 00:18:28,750
Lame.
483
00:18:46,385 --> 00:18:47,385
Abed.
484
00:18:47,386 --> 00:18:48,519
Abed! Abed!
485
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,355
We're weird.
We need to be weird.
486
00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:51,906
You want to see something
weird? Check out this dance.
487
00:18:51,907 --> 00:18:53,574
Uh, what did you call this?
The "Lindbergh lean"?
488
00:18:53,575 --> 00:18:55,059
What'll they think of next?
489
00:18:59,114 --> 00:19:01,449
Inspector spacetime...
490
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:03,751
Ohh, thank the cosmic engineer
I found you.
491
00:19:03,752 --> 00:19:05,203
Troy, this is hardly the time.
492
00:19:05,204 --> 00:19:07,571
Or is it hardly the space?
493
00:19:07,572 --> 00:19:08,873
Okay, I see what you did there.
494
00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:10,258
But now I have to get back
to my Lindbergh lean
495
00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:11,876
with, uh... I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.
496
00:19:11,877 --> 00:19:14,212
Inspector...
What sort of creature
497
00:19:14,213 --> 00:19:18,082
would do a dance
called the Lindbergh lean?
498
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,184
- Blorgons?
- Blorgons.
499
00:19:20,185 --> 00:19:22,186
My name's Danielle.
500
00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:25,423
Constable Reggie, it appears
the Blorgons have developed
501
00:19:25,424 --> 00:19:28,860
- the ability to take human form.
- Weirdos.
502
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:34,399
Your photonic bowler hat.
503
00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:37,785
Ahh.
504
00:19:37,786 --> 00:19:39,103
Blorgon patrol.
505
00:19:39,104 --> 00:19:42,123
Shirley, I have some
good news and bad news.
506
00:19:42,124 --> 00:19:45,543
The good news is the board loved
your sandwich shop idea.
507
00:19:46,778 --> 00:19:49,046
The bad news
is that they made a few calls
508
00:19:49,047 --> 00:19:50,715
and sold the space to subway,
the sandwich place.
509
00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:53,076
What? Pierce and I put
a lot of work into that idea.
510
00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,720
- How could you do this, Dean?
- I'm sorry!
511
00:19:55,721 --> 00:19:57,255
The board went over my head
on this one.
512
00:19:57,256 --> 00:19:59,974
And I don't remember being
invited to your wedding,
513
00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:03,060
so I guess we're even
on the hurting-each-other front.
514
00:20:03,061 --> 00:20:07,231
I'm a blast at weddings.
515
00:20:07,232 --> 00:20:09,016
There go all my dreams.
516
00:20:09,017 --> 00:20:10,802
This is just a setback.
517
00:20:10,803 --> 00:20:13,087
You don't have to give up
just because of subway.
518
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,056
Guess I better go break
the news to Pierce.
519
00:20:15,057 --> 00:20:16,474
He's not gonna like this.
520
00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:17,992
Remember that
temper tantrum he threw
521
00:20:17,993 --> 00:20:20,361
when Adam Sandier "stole"
his idea for Jack and Jill?
522
00:20:20,362 --> 00:20:21,612
You're underestimating him.
523
00:20:21,613 --> 00:20:22,864
I think Pierce
is a lot more mature
524
00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:24,115
than we all give him
credit for.
525
00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:28,786
Look at me now, dad!
How's it taste?
526
00:20:28,787 --> 00:20:32,673
How many sandwich places
did you have?
527
00:20:32,674 --> 00:20:34,827
None!
528
00:20:34,828 --> 00:20:38,453
Sync & corrections by Rafael
UPD www.addic7ed.com/
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther