1
00:00:01,254 --> 00:00:04,340
A new day has dawn
at Greendale Community College.

2
00:00:04,341 --> 00:00:06,144
Some said we'd never
bounce back

3
00:00:06,145 --> 00:00:08,859
after the unfortunate events
of the Star-Burns wake riot

4
00:00:08,860 --> 00:00:11,026
instigated
by the Greendale Seven.

5
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:13,534
But today the guilty parties
have been expelled,

6
00:00:13,549 --> 00:00:14,807
enrollment is up,

7
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:17,270
and tuition is more affordable
than ever.

8
00:00:17,294 --> 00:00:19,387
And the architect
of this modern-day miracle?

9
00:00:19,408 --> 00:00:21,960
Security chief
Benjamin Franklin Chang,

10
00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:24,212
a man who has brought security,
harmony,

11
00:00:24,213 --> 00:00:26,515
and success to what
is fast becoming

12
00:00:26,516 --> 00:00:28,216
the area's
premier community college.

13
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Greendale's never been better.
Thanks, Chang.

14
00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:34,439
You see?
It's not the real Dean.

15
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,338
Of course.

16
00:00:35,378 --> 00:00:37,396
The head of security
at Greendale Community College

17
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:38,592
has kidnapped the Dean

18
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,994
and replaced him
with a deanel-ganger.

19
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:44,312
Well, when you say it
that way, it sounds ridiculous.

20
00:00:44,346 --> 00:00:46,347
Yeah, the word we used
was doppel-deaner.

21
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:48,716
Look, I hate cops.

22
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,052
You have to do something.

23
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,237
Isn't this a felony?

24
00:00:53,238 --> 00:00:55,857
Chang is holding a man
against his will.

25
00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:58,109
The real Dean
never would have expelled us.

26
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He loved us.

27
00:00:59,328 --> 00:01:01,946
Unfortunately,
love is not admissible evidence.

28
00:01:01,947 --> 00:01:04,231
Oh...

29
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♪ Love is not
admissible evidence ♪

30
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I'm working on a cop opera.

31
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<i>Cop-ra!</i>

32
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<i>Police-ical!</i>

33
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,544
Fine.
We'll get some proof.

34
00:01:16,545 --> 00:01:17,595
No, you won't.

35
00:01:17,596 --> 00:01:18,880
If I catch any of you
within 50 feet

36
00:01:18,881 --> 00:01:20,965
of Greendale,
I'll throw you all in jail.

37
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Thanks for the hot water.

38
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<i>Wait, cop-ra!</i>

39
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♪ Give me some rope
time in a dream ♪

40
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♪ Give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪

41
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♪ Somebody said
it can be here ♪

44
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♪ One by one,
they all just fade away ♪

45
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Sync and corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

46
00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:03,457
- I'm watching you.
- Move along.

47
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,142
How's the planning going

48
00:02:05,143 --> 00:02:07,895
for my birthday
Chang-stravaganza?

49
00:02:07,896 --> 00:02:09,513
The magician's booked,
and the invitations went out

50
00:02:09,514 --> 00:02:11,265
to the school board
and the budweiser frogs.

51
00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,316
Perfect.

52
00:02:12,317 --> 00:02:14,352
Yeah, um, one little snag.

53
00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:16,253
See, we're kind of running out
of money,

54
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what with all the students
dropping out

55
00:02:17,689 --> 00:02:19,306
and the cost of your throne.

56
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It's a prescription throne.

57
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I have back mumps.

58
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Don't look it up.
It's rare.

59
00:02:23,946 --> 00:02:25,363
But you might be right.

60
00:02:25,364 --> 00:02:28,449
We should free up some revenue
for entertainment at the party.

61
00:02:28,450 --> 00:02:30,751
Where's my deanel-Chang-er?

62
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Fire the custodial staff.

63
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Okay. Cool.

64
00:02:38,837 --> 00:02:40,690
Do you think I could get out
a little early?

65
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:42,182
My wife's getting
her braces off, and I...

66
00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:45,284
- No.
- Okay.

67
00:02:50,389 --> 00:02:52,840
I love how binoculars
make far away things

68
00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,025
seem like they're close.

69
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,861
- They're like...
- Telephones for your eyes.

70
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:58,529
Snagged one of those flyers.

71
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:00,514
First Chang kidnaps the Dean,

72
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and now he throws himself
a birthday party?

73
00:03:02,651 --> 00:03:05,202
It's just like Stalin
back in Russia times.

74
00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:06,787
Dance-off?
Sundae bar?

75
00:03:06,788 --> 00:03:08,789
One of those Ed Hardy
street magicians?

76
00:03:10,492 --> 00:03:14,245
What kind of monster would...
Photo booth with props!

77
00:03:14,246 --> 00:03:16,080
Chang's got to be holding
the Dean on campus,

78
00:03:16,081 --> 00:03:17,999
but there's no way we're
gonna get past those guards.

79
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We need somebody on the inside.

80
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I may know a guy.

81
00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,706
And the air-conditioning
repair annex won't admit

82
00:03:25,707 --> 00:03:27,758
to any knowledge
of what's going on.

83
00:03:27,759 --> 00:03:31,812
But the fact is,
wherever there is air,

84
00:03:31,813 --> 00:03:33,097
we have eyes.

85
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Gross.

86
00:03:34,399 --> 00:03:35,683
Suffice it to say,

87
00:03:35,684 --> 00:03:38,035
if Chang were holding
your Dean captive,

88
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it'd be pretty foolish
to hold him on campus.

89
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It'd be even more foolish to
hold him in a central air room

90
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in the cafeteria,
which we monitor.

91
00:03:46,445 --> 00:03:51,949
Oh, no, Jeffrey.
Looks like PB and J again.

92
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,401
You win the bet.

93
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,453
So he's
in the cafeteria building?

94
00:03:55,454 --> 00:03:57,621
Suppose he is.
In the basement.

95
00:03:57,622 --> 00:03:59,907
And suppose you wanted
to get to him.

96
00:03:59,908 --> 00:04:01,759
Suppose you actually managed
to make it

97
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,260
past the guards at the front,

98
00:04:03,261 --> 00:04:05,079
there's 50 more inside,
armed to the teeth

99
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,798
with stun batons
and misplaced sexual aggression.

100
00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:09,300
Let's say you happen
to get past them

101
00:04:09,301 --> 00:04:10,801
and then you get to meet
Chang's number one,

102
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:12,720
Joshua,

103
00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:16,256
a 4'10", 105-pound bucket
of piss and zit cream.

104
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I cannot express to you how much
I hate this kid.

105
00:04:19,111 --> 00:04:22,262
Now, beyond that dog sneeze
in a pair of reeboks,

106
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,531
you're gonna find
a state-of-the-art

107
00:04:23,532 --> 00:04:24,949
keypad on the basement door.

108
00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:27,952
And just for extra fun,
they change the code every day,

109
00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:30,788
and the only copy is locked up
in Chang's office.

110
00:04:30,789 --> 00:04:33,290
Now, just for a lark,
let's pretend

111
00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:34,992
you actually make it down
to the basement door.

112
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Who is there to greet you?

113
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Another guard and another lock

114
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to which there is only one key.

115
00:04:40,265 --> 00:04:45,252
And where is that key?

116
00:04:47,923 --> 00:04:49,456
Well where is it?

117
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,259
Oh, sorry,
it's very clear in my head.

118
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:53,761
Key's around Chang's neck.

119
00:04:53,762 --> 00:04:57,047
The point is, you're not getting
down there without our help.

120
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So help us.

121
00:04:58,066 --> 00:04:59,483
We have no horse in this race,

122
00:04:59,484 --> 00:05:05,106
but... there is
one thing we want.

123
00:05:05,107 --> 00:05:07,691
Not a lot of people
get a second chance.

124
00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:12,479
Just you and probably Obama.

125
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,851
Give it some thought.

126
00:05:16,852 --> 00:05:18,452
Great, so according
to Troy's intel,

127
00:05:18,453 --> 00:05:19,753
Greendale is impregnable.

128
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,956
- So what do we do?
- Only one answer.

129
00:05:21,957 --> 00:05:23,124
Elaborate heist?
Elaborate heist?

130
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:24,291
We'll need disguises.

131
00:05:24,292 --> 00:05:25,676
I do a great swami.

132
00:05:25,677 --> 00:05:27,211
Of course it works
best with a cobra,

133
00:05:27,212 --> 00:05:29,094
but if you guys cut me
a length of garden hose...

134
00:05:29,102 --> 00:05:30,477
Are we all forgetting
that if we get caught

135
00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:31,799
on that campus, we go to jail?

136
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,001
Do you know how long someone
as sarcastic as I am

137
00:05:34,002 --> 00:05:35,386
would last in prison?

138
00:05:35,387 --> 00:05:37,171
Such a long time.

139
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,807
There's got to be
a practical way to do this.

140
00:05:39,808 --> 00:05:41,025
There is another way in.

141
00:05:41,026 --> 00:05:44,195
If I enroll in the AC school,
they'll help us.

142
00:05:44,196 --> 00:05:46,297
We could walk in and out.

143
00:05:46,298 --> 00:05:47,548
It'll mean I'll have
to move out of here

144
00:05:47,549 --> 00:05:48,966
and into AC school housing,

145
00:05:48,967 --> 00:05:51,068
and I won't be able to hang out
with you guys anymore,

146
00:05:51,069 --> 00:05:53,537
or have a relationship,
or use the word

147
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:54,872
"sensational" for some reason.

148
00:05:54,873 --> 00:05:57,958
Troy, we are not losing you
to save the Dean

149
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:02,663
or Greendale...
Or anything, ever.

150
00:06:04,082 --> 00:06:07,468
Don't be so dramatic, Troy.
The answer is simple.

151
00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:09,703
We just have to plan
an elaborate heist.

152
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,538
- Yes.
- Great, I'll get my turban.

153
00:06:11,906 --> 00:06:15,175
Everyone except Pierce has
to plan an elaborate heist.

154
00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:26,739
Happy birthday, Ben.
On behalf of the school board.

155
00:06:26,740 --> 00:06:30,926
Shower organizer?
Are you guys psychic?

156
00:06:30,927 --> 00:06:33,579
Well you deserve it.
You have worked wonders here.

157
00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:35,214
Oh, you boners.

158
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:36,632
Now go party your butts off.

159
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:39,001
Your butt could use it, Richie.

160
00:06:46,226 --> 00:06:47,560
Listen up, men.

161
00:06:47,561 --> 00:06:49,612
Keep an extra deep lookout
for the Greendale Seven.

162
00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:52,031
I won't have them ruining
my 25th birthday.

163
00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:53,065
Yes, sir.

164
00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:56,369
By the way,
your cake just arrived.

165
00:06:56,370 --> 00:06:58,120
Shirley will enter first

166
00:06:58,121 --> 00:07:00,122
through the loading dock
disguised as the chef.

167
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:02,541
From there, she'll head
into the kitchen.

168
00:07:02,542 --> 00:07:04,660
You had time to build
a tiny working water fountain,

169
00:07:04,661 --> 00:07:05,711
and I'm a pinecone?

170
00:07:05,712 --> 00:07:10,416
♪ Chang eats the sun
and drinks the skies ♪

171
00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:15,621
♪ And they both go
with him when he dies ♪

172
00:07:15,622 --> 00:07:19,592
Once in,
she'll unload the goods.

173
00:07:23,647 --> 00:07:26,565
This girl in Chicago
won't stop facebooking me.

174
00:07:26,566 --> 00:07:30,069
Looks like j-swag's
going deep dish.

175
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,970
Then it's time for phase two...

176
00:07:31,971 --> 00:07:34,440
Toilet trouble.

177
00:07:34,441 --> 00:07:37,693
Oh, crap!
Someone call a plumber!

178
00:07:37,694 --> 00:07:39,161
Sounds like
you schnooks got a flood

179
00:07:39,162 --> 00:07:40,996
the size of my wife's
attitude problem.

180
00:07:40,997 --> 00:07:42,832
Whoa, you guys aren't
the usual plumbers.

181
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,278
Oh, Mr. Brand Loyalty
over here.

182
00:07:45,301 --> 00:07:46,809
Okay, okay,
why don't you two slap-arounds

183
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:47,942
give me your names
for the report

184
00:07:47,966 --> 00:07:49,984
in case Chang wants to know
why his birthday party

185
00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:51,911
<i>turned into the frickin'
Poseidon adventure.</i>

186
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:54,099
Okay, okay.
Follow me then.

187
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:56,495
Finally.
Oof baboof with you two.

188
00:07:56,496 --> 00:07:57,713
Here's your problem.

189
00:07:57,714 --> 00:07:59,799
You people gotta
start chewin' your food.

190
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,767
We may have to tap into
the hydraulic flap valve,

191
00:08:01,768 --> 00:08:03,936
so don't be alarmed if things
get a little noisy.

192
00:08:03,937 --> 00:08:06,021
Like my wife's mouth.

193
00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:08,724
If we can break through this
wall and into Chang's office,

194
00:08:08,725 --> 00:08:11,110
then we'll have access
to the basement door codes.

195
00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:13,512
Meanwhile, I'll take care
of cancelling the magician.

196
00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:16,315
Yeah, sorry, Mr. Nightshade,
gig's canceled.

197
00:08:16,316 --> 00:08:18,016
How's it coming with the guard?

198
00:08:18,017 --> 00:08:19,184
Boys are pathetic.

199
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:21,019
Two days of facebooking
with this Joshua kid

200
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,488
and he's eating out
of my hands.

201
00:08:22,489 --> 00:08:24,240
"Got a new flavor of lip balm.

202
00:08:24,241 --> 00:08:26,242
Meet me at Chili's
in ten minutes."

203
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:27,743
Sheep.

204
00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:29,695
Um, I just want to reiterate
that this should be

205
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:32,298
the only time you seduce
a child over the internet.

206
00:08:32,299 --> 00:08:33,582
I know.

207
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:36,385
Chili's? Sick!

208
00:08:36,386 --> 00:08:38,471
Hey, bro, you watch my post?

209
00:08:38,472 --> 00:08:42,007
Yeah, whatever. 'Sup.

210
00:08:42,008 --> 00:08:43,142
I'm in.

211
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:44,510
Cue the abra cadabra.

212
00:08:44,511 --> 00:08:46,178
Is that me
in my swami disguise?

213
00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:49,381
No, Pierce, for the last time,
you're in the getaway van

214
00:08:49,382 --> 00:08:51,784
because your swami act
is notoriously horrible.

215
00:08:51,785 --> 00:08:53,886
"A," that is racist.

216
00:08:53,887 --> 00:08:57,523
"B," swamis can't drive...
they're Indians.

217
00:08:57,524 --> 00:08:59,074
Pierce, just do your part.

218
00:08:59,075 --> 00:09:00,860
Leave the entertainment
to Britta and me.

219
00:09:08,084 --> 00:09:10,903
Ricky Nightshade,
the rock and roll magician.

220
00:09:10,904 --> 00:09:13,706
I'm starting.
I need a volunteer.

221
00:09:13,707 --> 00:09:18,010
I'll kill anyone who raises
their hand.

222
00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:24,767
Pick a card and look at it.

223
00:09:24,768 --> 00:09:26,084
Strap him!

224
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,447
I'm in.

225
00:09:47,941 --> 00:09:49,742
Okay,
it was just my head before,

226
00:09:49,743 --> 00:09:51,210
but now I'm really in.

227
00:09:52,579 --> 00:09:55,548
Bingo.

228
00:09:56,967 --> 00:10:01,253
4-1-2-6.

229
00:10:03,006 --> 00:10:07,760
I'm in.
Where's the key?

230
00:10:07,761 --> 00:10:09,478
- I'm in.
- I know.

231
00:10:09,479 --> 00:10:11,430
Well, everybody
else got to say it.

232
00:10:13,567 --> 00:10:15,484
Is this your card?

233
00:10:15,485 --> 00:10:16,969
Huh?

234
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:19,355
I don't remember.

235
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:25,327
Nightshade, nightshade!

236
00:10:25,328 --> 00:10:28,280
Greetings, greetings,
baba ghanoush.

237
00:10:28,281 --> 00:10:30,082
Take me to the birthday boy.

238
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,334
Wait a minute.

239
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:33,485
Pierce?

240
00:10:33,486 --> 00:10:35,504
No, not knowing this Pierce.

241
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,539
I... I am a mystical swami.

242
00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:40,009
I come to boogie down,
I'm boogying down.

243
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,010
Hey!

244
00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:43,295
Jeff, we've been made.

245
00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:44,296
Cover me!

246
00:10:44,297 --> 00:10:46,665
Winger!

247
00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:49,167
No!

248
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:50,302
Everything all right, Ben?

249
00:10:50,303 --> 00:10:52,354
Peachy keen, Avril Lavigne.

250
00:10:52,355 --> 00:10:56,358
Nathan, tell me
you got eyes on the Dean.

251
00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:59,361
Negative, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

252
00:10:59,362 --> 00:11:03,315
No! Where's my monitor?

253
00:11:05,619 --> 00:11:07,403
Gotcha.

254
00:11:07,404 --> 00:11:08,687
Code Chang.

255
00:11:08,688 --> 00:11:11,373
All units converge
on the south library hallway.

256
00:11:11,374 --> 00:11:13,542
The best part of the plan
is that at a certain point,

257
00:11:13,543 --> 00:11:16,361
it's going to look like
the plan is failing.

258
00:11:16,362 --> 00:11:17,830
But that's when
it's going to turn out that

259
00:11:17,831 --> 00:11:22,367
the failing plan
was all part of the plan.

260
00:11:22,368 --> 00:11:27,089
♪ Chang eats the sun
and drinks the sky ♪

261
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:43,072
Hey, Johnny Passerby,
this job's getting bigger

262
00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:45,074
than my wife's credit card bill
at Marshalls.

263
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:46,575
I mean, they got great stuff,
I know that.

264
00:11:46,576 --> 00:11:48,911
Anyway, I'm going to need
your Dean for approval.

265
00:11:48,912 --> 00:11:52,064
Craig.
Is that "a-i" or "i-a"?

266
00:11:52,065 --> 00:11:53,582
I always forget.

267
00:11:54,951 --> 00:11:57,670
Oof baboof, I spilled
plumber's acid all over yous.

268
00:11:57,671 --> 00:11:58,904
What do I do?
What do I do?

269
00:11:58,905 --> 00:12:00,072
Take off your clothes.

270
00:12:00,073 --> 00:12:01,740
Nathan, tell me you got eyes
on the Dean.

271
00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:04,426
Negative, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

272
00:12:04,427 --> 00:12:09,214
Repeat, the pixie has left
the toadstool.

273
00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:11,884
Jeffrey!

274
00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:13,552
Oh... Hey, Britta.

275
00:12:15,555 --> 00:12:17,356
How the Chang?

276
00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:19,058
I'm contaminated
with plumber's acid,

277
00:12:19,059 --> 00:12:23,062
but it's okay, they're coming
back with a lotion.

278
00:12:35,992 --> 00:12:39,712
Sar-cas-tic claps.

279
00:12:39,713 --> 00:12:41,213
Pretty clever.

280
00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:42,965
A plan that looked
like it failed,

281
00:12:42,966 --> 00:12:44,449
and then turned out to work.

282
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:46,919
Too bad your real plan
really failed.

283
00:12:48,221 --> 00:12:49,388
What's so funny?

284
00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:50,889
You idiot.

285
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,559
The plan was for the plan
to seem like it was failing.

286
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,560
You think you caught us,

287
00:12:54,561 --> 00:12:56,628
but we've already made it out
with the real Dean.

288
00:12:56,629 --> 00:12:58,480
<i>Ocean's eleven, baby.</i>

289
00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:02,300
<i>Pierce, I'm the real Dean.</i>

290
00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:04,069
Getting caught the first time
was part of the plan.

291
00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:06,905
This time is because we suck.

292
00:13:07,218 --> 00:13:09,453
Shirley, where the hell
did you come from?

293
00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:20,103
- You can't hold us here forever.
- I don't need to, Winger.

294
00:13:20,104 --> 00:13:21,488
I just wouldn't want you
to leave before

295
00:13:21,489 --> 00:13:23,573
the big fireworks show.

296
00:13:23,574 --> 00:13:24,774
Fireworks show?

297
00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:26,826
It's a surprise
for the end of the night

298
00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:28,278
planned by the "Dean."

299
00:13:28,279 --> 00:13:29,979
Only, silly Dean,

300
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:33,283
he stored all the fireworks
in the records room. Aw.

301
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:35,085
And when the works
"accidentally" go off

302
00:13:35,086 --> 00:13:37,754
when I hit the final note
on my awesome keytar solo,

303
00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:39,155
they'll burn up
the school's records

304
00:13:39,156 --> 00:13:40,874
and all evidence of my misdeeds.

305
00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:43,493
<i>Chang, you're insane.
You're still into keytar?</i>

306
00:13:43,494 --> 00:13:45,512
We're going to tell the board
what you did!

307
00:13:45,513 --> 00:13:46,513
We're going
to tell the board what you...

308
00:13:46,514 --> 00:13:47,680
You think they'll believe

309
00:13:47,681 --> 00:13:49,299
the Greendale Seven
and the worst Dean ever

310
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,167
over the guy who just nailed
an awesome solo?

311
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:54,304
You're going to burn down
the school and kill everyone!

312
00:13:54,305 --> 00:13:56,189
Fire can't go through doors,
stupid.

313
00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:58,942
It's not a ghost.

314
00:14:01,112 --> 00:14:03,346
I know this is a bit
of a long shot,

315
00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:06,116
but I don't suppose any of you
paid my rent?

316
00:14:06,117 --> 00:14:09,452
Thank you, everyone,
for joining in my celebration.

317
00:14:09,453 --> 00:14:13,523
As many of you know,
I ate my twin sister in utero.

318
00:14:13,524 --> 00:14:16,626
So on my birthday,
I try to remember

319
00:14:16,627 --> 00:14:18,878
I'm a winner.

320
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:21,047
This one's for you, Connie.

321
00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:29,339
And a-one, a-two,
a Chang, Chang, Chang-four.

322
00:14:34,678 --> 00:14:36,029
We're all going to die.

323
00:14:36,030 --> 00:14:37,030
We have to get out of here.

324
00:14:37,031 --> 00:14:39,466
How?

325
00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,404
It's a miracle.

326
00:15:01,405 --> 00:15:02,405
What?

327
00:15:02,406 --> 00:15:03,406
- Yes!
- Let's get out of here!

328
00:15:03,407 --> 00:15:04,574
Come on, come on, come on.

329
00:15:04,575 --> 00:15:07,260
No, Troy, you didn't...

330
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:10,597
There's no time.
We gotta go.

331
00:15:21,025 --> 00:15:23,443
Six guards, two on scooters.

332
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,577
Chang started his solo.

333
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:25,945
Knowing him,
that gives us only nine minutes

334
00:15:25,946 --> 00:15:26,946
to get to the records room.

335
00:15:26,947 --> 00:15:28,114
We'll need a distraction.

336
00:15:28,115 --> 00:15:31,401
You heard the lady.
Take your tops off.

337
00:15:31,402 --> 00:15:32,986
I might have something.

338
00:15:32,987 --> 00:15:34,454
To supplement
Greendale's budget,

339
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,823
I've been renting the school out
for raves on the weekend.

340
00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,458
They call it "academania."

341
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:41,628
It's mostly hard house,
some... some dubstep,

342
00:15:41,629 --> 00:15:42,879
- but totally...
- Perfect.

343
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,130
Troy and Abed,
you make a run for it.

344
00:15:44,131 --> 00:15:46,633
Dean,
I think it's time to party.

345
00:15:46,634 --> 00:15:49,952
Hmm.

346
00:15:49,953 --> 00:15:51,955
Hey, what the freak?

347
00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:53,306
What's going on?

348
00:15:53,307 --> 00:15:55,975
No! No! No!

349
00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:58,144
- You weigh nothing!
- I can't see them.

350
00:15:58,145 --> 00:16:03,016
They're too many of them.

351
00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:04,484
- Oof.
- Baboof.

352
00:16:08,989 --> 00:16:10,073
Which wire do I cut?

353
00:16:10,074 --> 00:16:11,691
There's only one.

354
00:16:11,692 --> 00:16:14,310
God, I hope I'm right.

355
00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:29,325
Study group!

356
00:16:30,761 --> 00:16:33,630
You did it!
So we're done, right?

357
00:16:33,631 --> 00:16:36,165
We're done?
Done? Done? Done?

358
00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:37,467
Not done.

359
00:16:37,468 --> 00:16:40,436
You foiled me for the last time.

360
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:49,679
So, it ends as it began.

361
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,147
It didn't begin this way.

362
00:16:51,148 --> 00:16:53,182
What the hell's going on
in here?

363
00:16:53,183 --> 00:16:55,368
Hey, fellas.

364
00:16:55,369 --> 00:16:57,287
I just caught
the Greendale Seven

365
00:16:57,288 --> 00:16:58,955
trying to burn down the school.

366
00:16:58,956 --> 00:17:01,658
I'm a hero.
How about that cake?

367
00:17:01,659 --> 00:17:03,543
He's lying.
He kidnapped the Dean.

368
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,695
Yeah, we gathered that much
when we found these two

369
00:17:05,696 --> 00:17:06,913
slap-fighting in the hallway.

370
00:17:06,914 --> 00:17:08,047
You stole my life!

371
00:17:08,048 --> 00:17:12,135
It is hard out there
for a fake Moby!

372
00:17:12,136 --> 00:17:16,339
Carl, Richie,
let me ex-Chang.

373
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:22,345
I'm not getting paid, am I?

374
00:17:22,346 --> 00:17:23,896
Hey!

375
00:17:23,897 --> 00:17:27,100
So a madman
in a Napoleon costume

376
00:17:27,101 --> 00:17:29,686
ran the school into the ground
and almost blew it up?

377
00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:32,355
Yeah.
And on our watch.

378
00:17:32,356 --> 00:17:33,523
What happened to us?

379
00:17:33,524 --> 00:17:35,725
Well, I have
a drinking problem.

380
00:17:35,726 --> 00:17:36,726
We're going to get fired.

381
00:17:36,727 --> 00:17:37,860
Only a matter of time

382
00:17:37,861 --> 00:17:40,396
until everyone finds out
what happened here.

383
00:17:40,397 --> 00:17:42,498
Nobody can sit on something
this big.

384
00:17:42,499 --> 00:17:45,401
I'll sit on it.

385
00:17:45,402 --> 00:17:47,754
When I became Dean,
I made a pledge

386
00:17:47,755 --> 00:17:49,505
to swallow
this school's failures

387
00:17:49,506 --> 00:17:55,545
and spit out degrees
because that's what deans do.

388
00:17:55,546 --> 00:17:56,879
You'd do that for us?

389
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:57,880
No.

390
00:17:57,881 --> 00:17:59,682
I do it for Greendale.

391
00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:01,184
Aw.

392
00:18:01,185 --> 00:18:03,136
It's great to have you back,
Craig.

393
00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:06,356
It's almost as if you were
never unknowingly gone.

394
00:18:06,357 --> 00:18:08,474
Yard margs at Skeeper's.

395
00:18:08,475 --> 00:18:10,259
Perfect.
I left my credit card there.

396
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:11,594
Thanks, Craig.

397
00:18:12,763 --> 00:18:15,431
You guys saved me.

398
00:18:15,432 --> 00:18:19,268
I don't know
how I will ever repay you.

399
00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:21,571
You already have.

400
00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:29,379
Troy,
you don't have to do this.

401
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,714
The AC school has no claim
on your soul.

402
00:18:31,715 --> 00:18:32,782
No, but I do.

403
00:18:32,783 --> 00:18:34,217
A man's only as good
as his word,

404
00:18:34,218 --> 00:18:36,836
or his nod through a camera
to a guy with a button.

405
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:46,429
It's time.
Say your goodbyes.

406
00:18:48,799 --> 00:18:51,267
Shirley, never change.

407
00:18:51,268 --> 00:18:53,469
Or do, if you want,
I'm not your boss.

408
00:18:53,470 --> 00:18:56,572
Oh, honey.

409
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,746
Never wear a rubber.

410
00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:13,489
Never listen to Pierce.

411
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,762
Whenever you finally finish
that Jigsaw puzzle...

412
00:19:19,763 --> 00:19:24,884
Will you tell me what kind of
boat is at the end of that dock?

413
00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,474
This is a lock of my hair.

414
00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:34,610
Creepy.

415
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:53,529
All right, let's go.

416
00:20:08,312 --> 00:20:10,480
Abed?

417
00:20:10,481 --> 00:20:11,898
What did he say to you?

418
00:20:11,899 --> 00:20:15,852
He said, "I know you hate
when people do this in movies."

419
00:20:15,853 --> 00:20:17,437
Sorry I got emotional.

420
00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:30,416
Troy Barnes.

421
00:20:30,823 --> 00:20:33,158
Welcome home.

422
00:20:36,832 --> 00:20:39,918
I'm really digging
this hard house!

423
00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:41,736
It's quite a groove.

424
00:20:41,737 --> 00:20:43,838
This is my school!

425
00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:45,239
It's called Greendale,

426
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,409
and I'm the Dean
of the entire school.

427
00:20:48,410 --> 00:20:53,047
I mean, I wasn't for a while,
but it's a long story.

428
00:20:53,048 --> 00:20:54,766
You guys, everybody,

429
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:57,084
you should come by during
the day sometime.

430
00:20:57,085 --> 00:20:59,020
It's totally different.

431
00:20:59,021 --> 00:21:02,273
Really, stop by.
It'll blow your minds.

432
00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:04,559
You can meet my best friend,
Jeffrey.

433
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,845
Sure, I'll take a back rub.
Who's asking?