1
00:00:03,206 --> 00:00:04,988
It's open!
2
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:09,576
Look at us. Our group's
first grown-up Christmas party.
3
00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:11,592
Thanks for hosting.
I hope you don't mind.
4
00:00:11,604 --> 00:00:13,109
I brought a few things
just to make the place
5
00:00:13,122 --> 00:00:15,887
look a little less short-term
corporate housing.
6
00:00:15,918 --> 00:00:18,453
Oh, well,
mi casa es su art project.
7
00:00:18,543 --> 00:00:19,793
Cool.
8
00:00:20,162 --> 00:00:23,331
Figured just a little
something there,
9
00:00:23,342 --> 00:00:25,847
a little zhuzh right there.
10
00:00:25,903 --> 00:00:28,398
Just a few things
to add a little Annie.
11
00:00:28,424 --> 00:00:29,799
Annie, do we have to have
another talk
12
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,903
about you wanting
to play house with me?
13
00:00:31,937 --> 00:00:35,739
Sha.
Sha-na-not.
14
00:00:35,813 --> 00:00:38,722
I'm just decorating
for a party.
15
00:00:38,778 --> 00:00:41,456
Oh, I saw these curtains,
and I couldn't resist.
16
00:00:41,468 --> 00:00:42,740
Let's just live with them
for a night.
17
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:45,773
We can totally return them.
Oh, let's totally return them.
18
00:00:45,793 --> 00:00:48,878
Jeff.
Live with them for one night.
19
00:00:48,937 --> 00:00:52,164
Actually, these will also work
for Valentine's Day,
20
00:00:52,189 --> 00:00:54,352
Presidents Day,
whenever people get to see it.
21
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,980
Annie, what is this?
22
00:00:58,086 --> 00:00:59,148
Oh.
23
00:00:59,204 --> 00:01:00,928
I know we said no gifts,
24
00:01:00,949 --> 00:01:03,150
but I couldn't resist.
25
00:01:03,249 --> 00:01:06,136
You realize you've just put your
friends in a very awkward position.
26
00:01:06,155 --> 00:01:08,493
A gift creates obligation.
27
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,909
I don't see it that way.
28
00:01:09,922 --> 00:01:12,547
Well, I do, and I think the
others will too.
29
00:01:12,933 --> 00:01:14,078
Merry Christmas.
30
00:01:14,103 --> 00:01:16,170
I know we said no gifts,
but I couldn't resist.
31
00:01:16,207 --> 00:01:18,375
Oh, who couldn't have seen
that coming?
32
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,225
Oh, Annie, I love
what you did with the place.
33
00:01:20,249 --> 00:01:22,438
It's a work in progress.
34
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,234
Good tidings,
fellow Christmas celebrators.
35
00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:26,523
And to all a good wassailing.
36
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:29,104
I know we said no gifts,
but we couldn't resist.
37
00:01:29,128 --> 00:01:32,841
There's a real problem
with resistance in this group.
38
00:01:33,174 --> 00:01:36,774
Hi. Thank you all so much for
inviting me to my first Christmas.
39
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:40,818
Oh, Annie explained to me that
"no gifts" means "bring gifts."
40
00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:42,898
I'm getting it.
No means yes.
41
00:01:45,412 --> 00:01:47,911
So this is Christmas.
Just this.
42
00:01:47,932 --> 00:01:49,626
I was hoping we could do
a Die Hard in a restaurant.
43
00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:50,864
There's a place
called Nakatomi Sushi.
44
00:01:50,901 --> 00:01:52,986
I hear the Hans Grouper
is to die for.
45
00:01:53,027 --> 00:01:55,416
Come on, people, it's all spelled out in
your evites. I know you opened them.
46
00:01:55,429 --> 00:01:56,772
Oh, I brought gifts.
47
00:01:56,797 --> 00:01:58,357
Does Annie live here now?
48
00:01:58,932 --> 00:02:00,770
Okay.
49
00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:02,724
Now that we're all here...
50
00:02:02,788 --> 00:02:04,482
Oh, wait.
Where's Pierce?
51
00:02:04,513 --> 00:02:06,919
Oh, sensitivity training
with Gilbert.
52
00:02:06,984 --> 00:02:09,285
Apparently watching Invictus
didn't do the trick.
53
00:02:09,356 --> 00:02:10,433
Oh. Okay.
54
00:02:10,451 --> 00:02:12,540
Well, now that we are all here,
55
00:02:12,588 --> 00:02:15,560
I have some good news
and some bad news.
56
00:02:15,578 --> 00:02:17,479
Great.
Black licorice?
57
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:19,178
I have to start
with the bad news.
58
00:02:19,244 --> 00:02:21,273
It's about our history paper.
59
00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:23,978
I heard through back channels
we got a failing grade.
60
00:02:24,015 --> 00:02:25,732
- What?
- Kendra told me.
61
00:02:25,758 --> 00:02:27,707
She does assistant work
for Professor Cornwallis.
62
00:02:27,743 --> 00:02:29,555
I'll bet she does.
63
00:02:29,594 --> 00:02:31,494
We failed?
This is terrible.
64
00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:33,678
I need that paper to graduate.
65
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:34,874
Who screwed up their section?
66
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,621
- Jeff, it doesn't matter.
- No, it matters to me.
67
00:02:36,661 --> 00:02:39,136
I want to know who cost me
my early graduation.
68
00:02:39,154 --> 00:02:41,032
- I didn't do anything wrong.
- I worked really hard.
69
00:02:41,065 --> 00:02:43,486
Guys, there's no need
to point fingers,
70
00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:45,360
because I haven't told you
the good news.
71
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,163
I invited the professor
to our party tonight.
72
00:02:47,195 --> 00:02:48,962
- Annie!
- What? How is that better?
73
00:02:48,987 --> 00:02:51,241
No, no, Annie's right.
This could work.
74
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:53,216
I mean, the grade isn't etched
in stone.
75
00:02:53,246 --> 00:02:56,177
I mean, these British guys like
to socialize with their students.
76
00:02:56,199 --> 00:02:58,349
We just need to show him
a good time,
77
00:02:58,374 --> 00:03:01,785
laugh at his jokes, love whatever he
loves, and by the end of the night
78
00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:04,415
I bet you we can get that grade
back up to a "C".
79
00:03:04,446 --> 00:03:05,712
Who knows?
Maybe even an "A".
80
00:03:05,743 --> 00:03:06,962
Or something realistic.
81
00:03:06,996 --> 00:03:08,851
And just like that
our pleasant holiday party
82
00:03:08,863 --> 00:03:10,871
turned into a tense,
high-stakes secret mission.
83
00:03:10,902 --> 00:03:13,187
No costumes.
No funny voices.
84
00:03:13,238 --> 00:03:14,872
- Oh.
- Okay.
85
00:03:14,935 --> 00:03:16,598
But, for the purpose
of story symmetry,
86
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,892
I suggest we wait here silently
until the professor arrives.
87
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:20,891
It's the only real plot point
we need next.
88
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:27,355
Oh, what...
this is ridic...
89
00:03:29,182 --> 00:03:30,901
♪ Give me some rope ♪
90
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,570
♪ Tie me to dream ♪
91
00:03:32,594 --> 00:03:34,029
♪ Give me the hope ♪
92
00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:35,723
♪ To run out of steam ♪
93
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:39,193
♪ Somebody said ♪
♪ it can be here ♪
94
00:03:39,217 --> 00:03:40,892
♪ We could be roped up ♪
95
00:03:40,913 --> 00:03:43,131
♪ Tied up, dead in a year ♪
96
00:03:43,269 --> 00:03:48,193
♪ I can't count the reasons ♪
♪ I should stay ♪
97
00:03:48,230 --> 00:03:52,450
♪ One by one, ♪
♪ they all just fade away ♪
98
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:55,455
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
99
00:03:56,223 --> 00:03:58,160
Hi!
100
00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,671
I'm sorry.
I can't stay long.
101
00:03:59,693 --> 00:04:01,443
I've got my daughter in town.
102
00:04:01,462 --> 00:04:03,281
Didn't want to appear rude.
103
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,437
Was I expected to bring a gift?
104
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:09,609
No.
Nor was anyone else.
105
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:11,442
Can I show you around,
starting with the bar?
106
00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,834
A lovely place.
Very feminine.
107
00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:17,465
Did you hear him use
"feminine" as an insult?
108
00:04:17,503 --> 00:04:19,837
Typical phallo-centric
worldview.
109
00:04:19,874 --> 00:04:23,765
I bet he gave us a failing grade
because he could tell my section
110
00:04:23,784 --> 00:04:25,996
was written
by a strong, independent...
111
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:27,960
Would you excuse me?
I've just seen an old friend.
112
00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:30,373
Hurry back soon.
113
00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:34,237
Hey, Abed,
got you an early Christmas gift.
114
00:04:34,298 --> 00:04:36,899
I know you were bummed about not
doing Die Hard in a restaurant.
115
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,927
And your recent divorce.
116
00:04:39,972 --> 00:04:42,488
Yippee-ki-yay, Father Christmas.
117
00:04:42,505 --> 00:04:45,400
I tried to get you "taking off shoes,"
but I didn't know how to wrap it.
118
00:04:45,532 --> 00:04:47,066
John McClane's tank top?
119
00:04:47,149 --> 00:04:49,751
You're getting really good
at Christmas, Troy.
120
00:04:49,812 --> 00:04:52,171
- Ooh, things I've never seen before.
- It's Macallan Eighteen.
121
00:04:52,196 --> 00:04:54,462
I like to serve it neat
if that's okay with you?
122
00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:55,668
What, in America?
123
00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:58,065
Don't you mix it
with cherry pop or
124
00:04:58,134 --> 00:04:59,995
Monterey Jack cheese?
125
00:05:00,017 --> 00:05:02,405
Professor,
these are melon slices with ham.
126
00:05:02,424 --> 00:05:04,044
And asparagus
wrapped in salmon.
127
00:05:04,056 --> 00:05:07,049
I see somebody's
been attempting tapas.
128
00:05:07,078 --> 00:05:08,333
Oh, that would be me.
129
00:05:08,352 --> 00:05:11,289
I think cuisine is like
a window into history.
130
00:05:11,319 --> 00:05:12,620
I believe it was the hun...
131
00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:15,226
Actually, you know,
I was talking to the ladies.
132
00:05:15,244 --> 00:05:16,628
Oh.
133
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,111
Well, I'll let... I'll leave
you three be, all right?
134
00:05:19,257 --> 00:05:20,757
Britta.
135
00:05:21,419 --> 00:05:23,874
Look, the professor
seems to be responding
136
00:05:23,893 --> 00:05:25,300
to things that I don't have,
137
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,222
so you gotta get in there
and jiggle something.
138
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,142
He hates me.
139
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:30,166
He called me Broken
Barbie all year.
140
00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:33,882
Well, we're all gonna have to work it
if we're gonna get that grade changed.
141
00:05:34,327 --> 00:05:36,311
Be honest.
Your section sucked, right?
142
00:05:36,339 --> 00:05:39,525
No way. I read an entire book
on the Peloponnesian War.
143
00:05:39,549 --> 00:05:41,437
Wow.
You pronounced it right.
144
00:05:41,590 --> 00:05:44,463
Then someone else had to tank
it for us to get that "F".
145
00:05:44,476 --> 00:05:46,870
Someone else?
146
00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:49,402
- Can you keep a secret?
- Yeah.
147
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:51,940
- I blew my section off.
- What?
148
00:05:51,958 --> 00:05:55,039
Well, there was a secret Tom Waits
show in town, so I did the math.
149
00:05:55,057 --> 00:05:57,037
There's seven sections
to the paper.
150
00:05:57,068 --> 00:06:00,515
Annie gets an "A", Pierce buys
his from Neil, so that's solid.
151
00:06:00,546 --> 00:06:02,034
And then you guys get
"B"s and "C"s,
152
00:06:02,046 --> 00:06:04,079
so, I figured if my
section gets an "F",
153
00:06:04,104 --> 00:06:06,307
the worst we could end up
with is a "C-minus."
154
00:06:06,358 --> 00:06:07,968
So you just left
your section blank?
155
00:06:07,987 --> 00:06:09,181
No, of course not.
156
00:06:09,199 --> 00:06:11,608
I copied and pasted the lyrics
to War, What Is It Good For?
157
00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:13,479
- Good God.
- Shh.
158
00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:15,464
Your friends
were counting on you.
159
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,795
Well, that's their fault.
160
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:21,155
I have carefully cultivated a persona
that screams, "You're on your own."
161
00:06:21,778 --> 00:06:23,042
That's my judgey face.
162
00:06:23,066 --> 00:06:24,574
Noted.
I'll make it right.
163
00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:26,356
I'm going back in.
164
00:06:28,516 --> 00:06:30,791
- How's it going?
- Well, he asked me to get
165
00:06:30,809 --> 00:06:32,854
my fit bum to the kitchen
for a refill,
166
00:06:32,862 --> 00:06:33,962
so that's good, right?
167
00:06:33,982 --> 00:06:35,449
Kevin's showing him
a card trick.
168
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:36,476
What?
169
00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:38,409
Oh, God.
170
00:06:38,610 --> 00:06:39,507
Is this a card?
171
00:06:39,526 --> 00:06:41,566
No, it isn't.
Queen of Hearts.
172
00:06:41,599 --> 00:06:42,880
No, I'm asking, is this a card?
173
00:06:42,898 --> 00:06:45,255
Hey, Kevin, did you know
that we have bubble wrap?
174
00:06:45,334 --> 00:06:47,866
- What?
- Poppy poppy paper.
175
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,609
I so enjoy that.
Do you mind if I pop some?
176
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:51,972
Oh, go crazy.
177
00:06:52,091 --> 00:06:53,262
Changnesia.
178
00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:55,642
I mean,
why do you indulge that idiot?
179
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,637
Oh, I, too, was skeptical
at first,
180
00:06:57,655 --> 00:06:59,481
but now I actually have
some sympathy.
181
00:06:59,512 --> 00:07:00,887
I believe
it was Tacitus who said...
182
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:03,631
You know, Mr. Winger,
your pathetic attempts
183
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,867
to suck up to me
are a wee bit transparent.
184
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:07,944
I mean, I can only surmise
that it's something to do
185
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,652
with the "C-minus" I gave you
for that final paper.
186
00:07:11,025 --> 00:07:12,072
"C-minus"?
187
00:07:12,096 --> 00:07:13,960
Oh, thank you.
Is this the...
188
00:07:13,990 --> 00:07:15,489
If you'll excuse us.
189
00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:17,606
Annie, he's giving us
a "C-minus."
190
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,002
- Right.
- A "C-minus" is not a failing grade.
191
00:07:20,016 --> 00:07:21,277
To me, it is.
192
00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:22,786
I'm on a Valedictorian track,
193
00:07:22,798 --> 00:07:25,789
and a "C-minus" means I fail
to get Valedictorian.
194
00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:27,614
You ruined our Christmas dinner
195
00:07:27,631 --> 00:07:30,585
so you could be crowned the smartest
person at the dumbest school?
196
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,095
Look, the only reason I agreed
197
00:07:32,113 --> 00:07:33,981
to kiss
that pompous anglo's ass
198
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:35,889
was because I thought
we were getting an "F".
199
00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:37,414
Good news, Mr. Winger.
200
00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:39,724
You may remove your lips
from my buttocks,
201
00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:43,004
because you have in fact succeeded
in changing your grade.
202
00:07:43,082 --> 00:07:45,063
- It's now an "F".
- What?
203
00:07:45,103 --> 00:07:46,565
You're "F" -ing us?
204
00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:49,555
Professor, if you could
just give us a minute,
205
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,503
this has been
a terrible misunderstanding,
206
00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:55,131
and I'm sure we can get
this whole thing sorted out.
207
00:07:55,744 --> 00:07:57,696
Bedroom.
Now.
208
00:07:59,764 --> 00:08:01,106
Jeff just got us an "F".
209
00:08:01,131 --> 00:08:03,562
- I thought we had an "F".
- No, we were lied to.
210
00:08:03,587 --> 00:08:04,950
This isn't fun.
That guy's creepy.
211
00:08:04,967 --> 00:08:07,603
Yeah, if there's a human version
of Scrooge McDuck, this guy is it.
212
00:08:07,628 --> 00:08:09,607
This wouldn't have happened
if Jeff hadn't taunted him.
213
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,923
No, it wouldn't have happened
if you hadn't decided
214
00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:13,511
a "C-minus" isn't good enough.
215
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:14,980
When are you gonna grow up
and realize
216
00:08:14,998 --> 00:08:17,315
that grades don't matter
outside of school?
217
00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:20,212
That's a lie they tell dumb people when
they're fitting them for work boots.
218
00:08:20,230 --> 00:08:21,742
All we needed
was a passing grade,
219
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:25,111
and we had it until you
dragged us into this mess.
220
00:08:26,564 --> 00:08:28,168
- Judgey face.
- All right.
221
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,720
I will talk to him, man to man,
222
00:08:29,727 --> 00:08:31,214
and try to get
our "C-minus" back.
223
00:08:31,227 --> 00:08:31,853
Ah!
224
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,808
Annie, it's the best
we can do right now.
225
00:08:33,826 --> 00:08:35,836
- Let me handle this.
- Let go of me,
226
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,996
you big, hairy nutter!
227
00:08:39,136 --> 00:08:40,957
I'm proving my worth
to you guys.
228
00:08:41,014 --> 00:08:43,732
Do you want me to kill him?
229
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,541
- Kevin bad!
- I have Changnesia.
230
00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:52,440
I'm not a dog.
231
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,930
Professor, we're so sorry.
232
00:08:54,949 --> 00:08:56,932
Obviously,
Kevin made a mistake.
233
00:08:56,957 --> 00:08:58,345
Or did he?
234
00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,824
Why are you
"or did he" -ing him?
235
00:08:59,842 --> 00:09:02,609
I'm just saying the professor
can't get any more tied up,
236
00:09:02,616 --> 00:09:04,649
and we can't get any less
than an "F",
237
00:09:04,673 --> 00:09:07,124
so let's just take a beat
and think this through.
238
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,116
Okay, this is way better
than Die Hard in a restaurant.
239
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:12,680
So what exactly
is your plan here, Mr. Winger?
240
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,989
I mean, I'm certainly
not gonna change your grade,
241
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,749
and it'll take several days
to starve me
242
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:20,855
as I really loaded up
on that dreadful tapas.
243
00:09:20,867 --> 00:09:23,329
Oh, but you already
have changed it, professor.
244
00:09:23,341 --> 00:09:25,172
You just dropped it to an "F",
245
00:09:25,202 --> 00:09:28,661
thereby proving the work on the page
is not the only factor you consider.
246
00:09:28,732 --> 00:09:30,990
And now, thanks to Kevin's
complete misreading
247
00:09:31,015 --> 00:09:34,087
of the situation, we have
our moment of maximum leverage,
248
00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:36,081
so let's just talk
about this "F".
249
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:39,682
Maybe it can come up
to a "C-minus," or, who knows,
250
00:09:39,731 --> 00:09:41,246
perhaps an "A".
251
00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,103
This is actually a felony.
252
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:45,440
I mean, I will call the police,
253
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,267
and you will all go to jail.
254
00:09:47,298 --> 00:09:49,166
Let me explain to you
why you won't do that.
255
00:09:49,201 --> 00:09:50,414
First, he's tied up.
256
00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:52,643
First, you're tied up,
and second,
257
00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:55,230
who can really be sure
what happened in this apartment?
258
00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:56,610
Maybe you attacked one of us.
259
00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:59,649
Oh, really?
Where are the signs of struggle?
260
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,115
- Oh.
- You were full of scotch
261
00:10:02,121 --> 00:10:03,595
when things took a dark turn.
262
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:07,664
We'd all heard about your troubles
with co-eds back at Oxford,
263
00:10:07,682 --> 00:10:11,159
but it was becoming
all too real.
264
00:10:11,246 --> 00:10:13,509
As you lumbered around the room,
we had to assume
265
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:15,857
you were coming after me
or Britta.
266
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,063
Ah-ah-ahem!
267
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,632
Or Shirley,
268
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:22,608
who I didn't mention earlier, because
she intimidates you sexually.
269
00:10:22,659 --> 00:10:25,498
- Thank you.
- Point being,
270
00:10:25,522 --> 00:10:28,964
let's just take the idea of the police
off the table, shall we, professor?
271
00:10:28,988 --> 00:10:33,478
Fine. You think you can hold this group
together without anyone cracking?
272
00:10:33,503 --> 00:10:34,930
Oh, we're solid.
273
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:38,645
Empires are always destroyed
from within.
274
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:43,410
And I can prove it to you from the
comparative comfort of this tacky chair.
275
00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:45,558
I will give an "A" right now
276
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:47,975
to the first person
that unties me.
277
00:10:48,020 --> 00:10:49,187
The rest of you will fail.
278
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,567
Stay where you are.
279
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,767
This is amazing and
possibly all in real time.
280
00:10:55,786 --> 00:10:58,384
Everybody, stop it.
No one listen to him.
281
00:10:58,469 --> 00:11:00,322
The professor's job
is to make us turn
282
00:11:00,341 --> 00:11:02,690
on one another.
We hold all the cards
283
00:11:02,727 --> 00:11:04,537
as long as we stay united.
284
00:11:04,568 --> 00:11:06,112
And, Kevin, you're one of us.
285
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:08,380
- Thank you.
- All right.
286
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,757
Who will be the betrayer...
287
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,502
the type-A Lolita,
288
00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:17,191
the put-upon housewife...
- Is that me?
289
00:11:17,229 --> 00:11:20,865
Or how about you,
the odd, emotionless Muslim?
290
00:11:20,934 --> 00:11:23,080
I mean, come on,
you don't deserve an "F".
291
00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:25,231
And you know that,
because of your impairment,
292
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:27,435
they'll forgive you anyway.
293
00:11:27,461 --> 00:11:29,610
All true, but I'm probably
not your best target.
294
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,241
If you don't mind,
I'd like to get some popcorn.
295
00:11:31,265 --> 00:11:32,991
Typically, it takes a while
for villains to ramp up.
296
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:34,872
Promise not to monologue
till I get back?
297
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,554
Give it up, professor.
You got nothing.
298
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:38,946
Oh, I've got plenty.
299
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,757
Why don't we just let him go
and be done with this?
300
00:11:40,782 --> 00:11:42,452
It's Christmas.
We have gifts to unwrap.
301
00:11:42,471 --> 00:11:45,002
Don't you see? We can't now
or someone will get the "A".
302
00:11:45,053 --> 00:11:46,354
No one wants to screw the group.
303
00:11:46,374 --> 00:11:47,744
Oh, you see that, professor?
304
00:11:47,763 --> 00:11:50,963
Your offer actually made it
harder for you to get untied,
305
00:11:50,996 --> 00:11:52,727
because no one wants
to be the betrayer.
306
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,849
Beware the Ides of March,
Mr. Winger.
307
00:11:56,024 --> 00:11:58,697
Everyone wants to be
the betrayer.
308
00:11:58,722 --> 00:12:00,828
What the hell is your game?
309
00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:03,652
I'm trying
to teach you history.
310
00:12:03,903 --> 00:12:07,299
Your failure will be the same
as any self-obsessed nation.
311
00:12:07,388 --> 00:12:09,689
You only care about each other
when you're winning.
312
00:12:09,746 --> 00:12:13,091
The Romans loved Rome when it
was raping half the world,
313
00:12:13,104 --> 00:12:15,798
but when Hannibal
came charging over the Alps,
314
00:12:15,816 --> 00:12:17,436
the Romans turned on themselves
315
00:12:17,461 --> 00:12:20,831
as quickly as you can say,
"e pluribus unum."
316
00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:23,132
I'm pretty sure it's "anus."
317
00:12:23,144 --> 00:12:26,485
Usually, the cracks are hidden
within the alliances.
318
00:12:26,666 --> 00:12:27,833
So let's see.
319
00:12:27,873 --> 00:12:29,054
In any group of seven,
320
00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:32,397
there's bound to be
some romantic entanglements.
321
00:12:32,429 --> 00:12:35,101
See, I've noticed
that the damaged blonde
322
00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:37,398
is dating
the childish black one,
323
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:40,173
I wonder, does anyone
take issue with that pairing?
324
00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,431
You're fishing, professor. No one has
anything against Britta and Troy dating.
325
00:12:43,456 --> 00:12:47,095
And that's coming from Jeff,
and we used to date, so...
326
00:12:47,123 --> 00:12:48,977
Britta, information is ammo.
327
00:12:48,996 --> 00:12:50,544
And what we did was not dating.
328
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:52,697
- Uh.
- Ah. A little friction.
329
00:12:52,722 --> 00:12:54,457
That usually indicates heat.
330
00:12:54,476 --> 00:12:56,380
Heat?
There's no heat.
331
00:12:56,551 --> 00:12:59,235
If there was heat, I'd be nervous, and,
if I was nervous, I'd be rambling,
332
00:12:59,254 --> 00:13:01,187
and I'm definitely not rambling,
so there's no heat.
333
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:04,017
Ah, well, I think
we found our triangle.
334
00:13:04,111 --> 00:13:06,556
Thank you
and welcome to the party, Troy.
335
00:13:06,587 --> 00:13:09,248
- He knows my name.
- Guys, keep it together.
336
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,099
I missed something great,
didn't I?
337
00:13:21,123 --> 00:13:24,282
Enough. It's time to stop
arsing about and get serious.
338
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:26,824
So let's hear it
from the one person
339
00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:28,819
who needs that "A" the most
340
00:13:28,866 --> 00:13:32,002
and can't possibly abide
by an "F",
341
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:36,831
the one person on pace
to become class Valedictorian.
342
00:13:37,564 --> 00:13:39,181
I would never turn
against the group.
343
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:41,117
I'm not talking
about you, Miss Edison.
344
00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:43,278
What?
Abed?
345
00:13:43,303 --> 00:13:45,346
Jeff?
Is it me?
346
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,940
Oh, my God, Britta?
347
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:50,253
First of all, it's me, and, second
of all, you put Britta ahead of me?
348
00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:51,490
None taken.
349
00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,121
Oh, my God, Shirley.
350
00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:55,971
- Why didn't you ever tell me about it?
- I didn't think it was a competition.
351
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:58,405
Oh, of course
you'd play it that way
352
00:13:58,436 --> 00:13:59,499
so I wouldn't be expecting...
353
00:13:59,524 --> 00:14:02,194
A church-going mother of three
to be smart, huh?
354
00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:06,075
So, Miss Edison,
it's decision time, isn't it?
355
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:07,722
Annie, don't listen to him.
356
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:10,649
You know you can't make
Valedictorian with an "F",
357
00:14:10,668 --> 00:14:14,120
and you can eliminate your
competition in one easy step.
358
00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:16,886
What else do you have
to lose, my dear?
359
00:14:17,412 --> 00:14:20,012
I mean, these people,
they're not here to support you.
360
00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:23,678
I mean, they already hate you
for this disaster of a party.
361
00:14:23,699 --> 00:14:25,297
Not this guy.
362
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:26,843
No.
363
00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:27,886
I can't.
364
00:14:27,911 --> 00:14:30,346
Give it up, professor.
You've fired all your bullets.
365
00:14:30,377 --> 00:14:33,900
No, I've got
one more bullet left,
366
00:14:33,964 --> 00:14:36,120
and it's a doozy.
367
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,847
Mr. Winger, would you like
to tell your friends
368
00:14:38,865 --> 00:14:42,862
why they did so poorly on
this paper, or shall I?
369
00:14:42,891 --> 00:14:44,129
- Jeff?
- Jeff?
370
00:14:44,155 --> 00:14:45,567
Jeffrey.
371
00:14:47,539 --> 00:14:48,996
I tanked my section.
372
00:14:49,111 --> 00:14:51,166
I knew you guys
would all work hard, so
373
00:14:51,228 --> 00:14:52,530
I just coasted.
374
00:14:52,549 --> 00:14:53,756
- Tom Waits was...
- Ah!
375
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,925
- Ow.
- You cost me Valedictorian.
376
00:14:55,951 --> 00:14:58,235
He cost me Valedictorian.
That was my punch.
377
00:15:02,872 --> 00:15:04,606
Tom Waits!
378
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,631
Oh, my God.
379
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,205
Jeff, do you have
any milk duds?
380
00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:19,028
Jeffrey, I know
you're in there.
381
00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:21,070
I can smell you.
382
00:15:21,312 --> 00:15:23,790
- Did I have the game on too loud?
- Is everything okay?
383
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:25,082
I was just spending an evening
384
00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:27,674
with my two irresistible lady
friends, Rizzoli and Isles,
385
00:15:27,699 --> 00:15:29,551
when I heard...
wait a minute.
386
00:15:29,576 --> 00:15:30,743
What the hell
is going on in here?
387
00:15:30,773 --> 00:15:33,170
- No, don't!
- I can explain.
388
00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,660
No explanation necessary.
389
00:15:35,697 --> 00:15:38,616
Next time you decide to have
a party without me, Jeffrey,
390
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,115
at least have the decency
to do it when I'm in spin class.
391
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,165
I'm a blast at
holiday-themed parties.
392
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:50,188
- Where the hell is he?
- Professor? Did he leave?
393
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,118
Why in God's name
would I leave?
394
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:54,688
This is just getting
interesting.
395
00:15:54,713 --> 00:15:57,769
Now, one of you untied me.
396
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,959
I wonder who it was.
397
00:15:59,984 --> 00:16:02,476
Who is the Benedict Arnold,
398
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,340
the true hero of this story?
399
00:16:04,378 --> 00:16:07,701
Oh, no, what's gonna happen when
we find out who betrayed us?
400
00:16:07,913 --> 00:16:09,694
I wonder why you're so scared.
401
00:16:09,946 --> 00:16:10,919
It wasn't me.
402
00:16:10,935 --> 00:16:12,770
Can we just say
a ghost did it again?
403
00:16:12,795 --> 00:16:15,061
We're gonna find out who
did it when we get our grade.
404
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,543
No, we'll have to find out now.
405
00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:19,661
Otherwise,
the lesson isn't complete.
406
00:16:19,685 --> 00:16:22,175
But the lesson
is complete, professor.
407
00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:23,353
You know what you taught us
tonight?
408
00:16:23,372 --> 00:16:26,105
That, yes, empires fall, but
409
00:16:26,296 --> 00:16:27,259
we're no empire.
410
00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:29,739
We're just a bunch
of flawed, selfish people.
411
00:16:29,837 --> 00:16:31,268
And that's not our weakness.
412
00:16:31,475 --> 00:16:32,438
It's our strength.
413
00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,999
The one thing
that we can count on
414
00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:36,281
at any given moment
is that the six of us
415
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:38,649
are paying for a mistake
made by one of us.
416
00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:42,456
And that means, at any given moment,
one of us is screwing up so badly,
417
00:16:42,474 --> 00:16:45,730
that he or she is gonna forgive
whoever screws up next.
418
00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:49,037
Now I'm gonna do something
that Octavian never would...
419
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,578
yeah, I read the book.
420
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:53,044
I'm gonna say that
whoever untied the professor...
421
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,587
I don't give a crap.
422
00:16:54,669 --> 00:16:55,935
Because whoever it was,
423
00:16:55,953 --> 00:17:00,270
I know it was
some flawed, selfish, weak,
424
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:02,479
hopeless soul like me.
425
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:08,570
Exactly what the betrayer
would say.
426
00:17:08,789 --> 00:17:11,060
Fine, dick, if it was me,
427
00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:13,238
I'm gonna lose my "A"
by tying you up again.
428
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,206
Ow!
429
00:17:16,226 --> 00:17:18,294
Get over here.
430
00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:20,116
That's hurting.
That's hurting.
431
00:17:21,615 --> 00:17:24,520
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we have some gifts to open.
432
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,793
Ooh, mine first, mine first.
433
00:17:27,901 --> 00:17:29,820
Milady.
434
00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:33,998
Mm, Kevin, did you wrap
these presents yourself?
435
00:17:34,092 --> 00:17:36,591
Once again, I'm not a dog.
436
00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:39,100
Zoink.
437
00:17:39,888 --> 00:17:40,713
Doink.
438
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,132
Kevin, how do you tie a knot?
439
00:17:43,157 --> 00:17:44,540
Really simple.
440
00:17:44,883 --> 00:17:47,896
So you go...
441
00:17:47,914 --> 00:17:50,732
Make a little rabbit ear
like so,
442
00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:53,515
then the kids go marching
down the well.
443
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,811
Oh... my... God.
444
00:17:55,823 --> 00:17:58,130
Professor,
you were never tied up.
445
00:17:58,166 --> 00:18:00,134
What?
446
00:18:00,598 --> 00:18:02,291
What do you want me to say?
447
00:18:05,282 --> 00:18:07,372
What do you want me to say?
448
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:09,460
That I did it
because I'm lonely?
449
00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:12,045
That my daughter isn't in town?
450
00:18:12,081 --> 00:18:16,635
That she never comes to see me because
she finds me too manipulative?
451
00:18:16,894 --> 00:18:19,662
Or you could say you're sorry
for the whole thing.
452
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,867
Yes, I suppose
that would be accurate.
453
00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:25,297
And that, as compensation
for the mental anguish
454
00:18:25,322 --> 00:18:27,369
you caused us,
you'll give us an "A".
455
00:18:27,395 --> 00:18:29,463
Jeff.
Overreaching?
456
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,846
Fair enough.
457
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,556
Maybe you can grade
us separately.
458
00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:35,015
That way, Shirley and Annie
can get their "A" s.
459
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:37,115
No, Jeffrey,
he can give us an "F"
460
00:18:37,121 --> 00:18:38,594
or you can give us an "A",
461
00:18:38,612 --> 00:18:41,414
but we should all get
the same grade.
462
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,751
God's sake, don't rub it in.
463
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:46,314
Very well.
Seeing as you saved me
464
00:18:46,331 --> 00:18:50,647
from my yearly Christmas
tradition of plum pudding,
465
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,260
roasted goose,
and updating my suicide note...
466
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:56,655
I suppose...
467
00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:58,632
I could give you a "C".
468
00:18:58,661 --> 00:19:00,595
- Oh.
- Uh.
469
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:02,584
Plus.
470
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,840
Merry Christmas.
471
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:08,453
Merry Christmas.
472
00:19:10,810 --> 00:19:12,661
♪ Jingle bell, jingle bell ♪
473
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:14,368
♪ Jingle bell rock ♪
474
00:19:14,388 --> 00:19:16,035
♪ Jingle bells swing ♪
475
00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:17,416
♪ And jingle bells ring. ♪
476
00:19:17,879 --> 00:19:19,498
Annie!
477
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,685
Oh, my God.
478
00:19:22,893 --> 00:19:25,135
Wow.
That's really great.
479
00:19:25,147 --> 00:19:26,687
All right.
♪ Jingle bell ♪
480
00:19:26,718 --> 00:19:28,382
Oh, poppy poppy paper.
481
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,606
♪ Jingle bells chime ♪
482
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,013
No, there's a gift in there.
483
00:19:32,294 --> 00:19:33,294
Yeah.
484
00:19:33,313 --> 00:19:34,985
Buttered noodles.
My favorite.
485
00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:36,135
Oh!
486
00:19:36,178 --> 00:19:39,383
By the way, I didn't get anyone
gifts, so my gift to you all
487
00:19:39,406 --> 00:19:41,751
is you get to lord it over me
for the next year.
488
00:19:41,770 --> 00:19:44,748
No, stupid, a gift
doesn't create an obligation.
489
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,897
It's the obligation
that's a gift.
490
00:19:47,971 --> 00:19:49,606
I gotta drop a deuce.
491
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:51,858
See you guys.
492
00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,079
Hey, it's Chang.
493
00:19:56,098 --> 00:19:57,651
No, they're not expelled.
494
00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,567
I have to do something else.
495
00:20:07,717 --> 00:20:11,824
Oh, how could I have stayed mad
at you, guys?
496
00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:15,981
Here, I was gonna save these
for the real Christmas Day,
497
00:20:15,999 --> 00:20:17,778
but these guys
were getting antsy.
498
00:20:17,791 --> 00:20:19,125
Hi, there.
499
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:21,096
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
500
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,964
Oh!
501
00:20:23,344 --> 00:20:24,269
August.
502
00:20:24,294 --> 00:20:27,058
And this one is James.
503
00:20:27,194 --> 00:20:29,030
And this one is Fiona.
504
00:20:29,048 --> 00:20:32,475
And these two guys are Jeffrey.
505
00:20:32,493 --> 00:20:33,898
At nice times like this,
506
00:20:33,916 --> 00:20:35,636
I wonder what's happening
in the darkest timeline.
507
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,411
Timeline?
508
00:20:36,424 --> 00:20:39,451
Abed, there are
no dark timelines.
509
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,591
Your honor,
I may not have a right arm,
510
00:20:46,614 --> 00:20:49,138
but I am armed
with what's right.
511
00:20:49,201 --> 00:20:52,424
My client Miss Edison did rob
several drug stores,
512
00:20:52,462 --> 00:20:55,263
and, yes, she did stab
several pharmacists,
513
00:20:55,286 --> 00:20:57,771
but let's talk
about the bigger crime,
514
00:20:57,842 --> 00:21:03,096
that someone so beautiful
has been removed from society.
515
00:21:03,147 --> 00:21:06,402
Miss Edison,
you are hereby released
516
00:21:06,426 --> 00:21:09,201
from Greendale Insane Asylum.
517
00:21:09,538 --> 00:21:11,783
Are you sure you don't have a
problem with our age difference?
518
00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:13,812
Yeah, I wish
you were even younger.
519
00:21:13,824 --> 00:21:15,687
Now, come on,
the others are waiting.
520
00:21:15,728 --> 00:21:18,251
We've got a prime timeline
to destroy.
521
00:21:24,131 --> 00:21:29,131
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther