1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,270
Troy and Abed back from summer.
2
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,258
Wait a minute.
Something's changed.
3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,387
Oh, there's 12 additional
thumb tacks on that board.
4
00:00:11,388 --> 00:00:12,388
They're driving me crazy.
5
00:00:13,462 --> 00:00:16,415
No, I meant this.
Trying out the hipster look.
6
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:18,618
It's cool, but also not.
7
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,170
Hey, guys, have a good summer?
8
00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:23,022
Take them off.
9
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,792
Happy first day of school.
10
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,094
Oh.
11
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,463
Good morning.
I brought brownies.
12
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,599
Oh.
13
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:38,504
Congratulations, it's me.
14
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,507
Huh, I see we've all reinvented
ourselves over the summer.
15
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,609
A little late
to the hipster party much?
16
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,528
A little much on the much much?
17
00:00:46,697 --> 00:00:48,814
We should get to class?
Where's Pierce?
18
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,650
- I don't know.
- Hey-o!
19
00:00:52,202 --> 00:00:54,036
Sorry, I'm late.
20
00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:56,122
Damn Mexican cleaning woman
did a cha-cha
21
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:59,191
on my glasses,
so I got to wear this old pair.
22
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,881
Abed.
Abed.
23
00:01:04,882 --> 00:01:07,366
- Abed.
- Yup.
24
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,367
Did you go to your happy place?
25
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:09,368
- Yeah.
- Did you envision
26
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,671
a babbling brook
like I described?
27
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:12,838
I started out
with a babbling brook,
28
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,357
but then I layered in elements
from our world.
29
00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:16,092
I'm sure fans of the babbling
brook will complain,
30
00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,393
but I thought
that was limiting.
31
00:01:17,394 --> 00:01:19,011
Well, it's best
to keep it simple.
32
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,363
- It was a babbling brook.
- Okay.
33
00:01:20,364 --> 00:01:21,898
Here's the deal, Jessica Biel.
34
00:01:21,899 --> 00:01:25,017
The first day of senior year
is emotional for everyone,
35
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,353
so I hereby therapize you to go
36
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,523
to your happy place
whenever you feel stressed.
37
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:33,826
- I found my lucky notebook.
- Found my lucky charm.
38
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:37,863
Abed, you ready for our last
first day of school?
39
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,582
Are you ready, buddy?
40
00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:44,503
I just need a minute.
41
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:45,904
♪ This is my show
42
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:47,873
♪ it's about me
43
00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,041
♪ and all my friends
44
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,927
♪ on Abed TV
45
00:01:50,928 --> 00:01:54,547
♪ my happy place,
nothing but fun ♪
46
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,766
♪ nothing but laughs
and smiles ♪
47
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,517
♪ and then we rerun
48
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:01,520
♪ for those times
when life's too hard ♪
49
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:03,389
♪ to face.
50
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:07,693
♪ I'll find some happy
in my happy place ♪
51
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,729
♪
52
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,197
Abed's Happy Community College
show is filmed
53
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,649
before a live audience
inside of my head.
54
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,821
I can't believe we're finally
getting into this class.
55
00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:20,039
I can't believe there's a class
56
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,240
called "The History
of Ice Cream."
57
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,543
Seniors!
58
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,579
There they are.
59
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,550
- Seniors!
- Oh, speaking of seniors,
60
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,119
I've decided I'm going
to do senioritis this year.
61
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,006
You know, just hangin' out
and blowin' off classes,
62
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:39,925
pullin' pranks,
not sayin' my "G"s.
63
00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,094
Ooh, I'll pull
some pranks with you.
64
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:44,597
Okay.
Or Jeff or whoever.
65
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,765
You know, whoever's around.
Whatever.
66
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,400
So, Abed, after class,
we're still doing
67
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,768
our first-day-of-school
tradition, right?
68
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,756
You know it.
69
00:02:49,757 --> 00:02:51,057
We like to make wishes
in the fountain.
70
00:02:51,058 --> 00:02:52,822
- Ohh!
- Fellas, I hate to tell you,
71
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:53,939
wishes aren't real.
72
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,741
If you want something bad,
73
00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,109
you have to work for it.
74
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,110
Or use a spell.
75
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,745
All of our wishes come true.
76
00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,314
Last year, Troy wished we got
Bin Laden and the Dorito Taco.
77
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,083
Yeah, but Obama got credit
for both.
78
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,085
Could you wish for Jeff
to be on time for once?
79
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,153
No. No wasting wishes
on impossibilities.
80
00:03:08,154 --> 00:03:09,955
We have to make
this year count,
81
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,257
especially
since it's the last one.
82
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,662
Oh, no, is all this
for "The History of Ice Cream"?
83
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,264
They overbooked it, so it's
first come, first serve now.
84
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,694
Oh, just like real ice cream.
85
00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:23,267
- Guys, over here!
- Oh, Jeffrey.
86
00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,776
Jeff, I can't believe
that you came early.
87
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,192
Don't you read
Gary's twitter feed?
88
00:03:31,193 --> 00:03:32,877
He posted a crisis alert
about it.
89
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:34,112
I came early to save seats.
90
00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:36,548
Oh, you know what, girls,
91
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,716
I gave you the old flyer.
92
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,051
"Instagram for besties"
is in room 44.
93
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:43,121
Showing up early,
helping others,
94
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:44,455
sending girls away?
95
00:03:44,456 --> 00:03:47,092
Could this be
a whole new Jeff Winger?
96
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,727
Don't ruin it by approving it.
97
00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:55,350
Oh, so that's progressed.
98
00:03:55,351 --> 00:03:56,601
I mean, it's progressed,
99
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,737
but it hasn't
progressed-progressed.
100
00:03:58,738 --> 00:03:59,821
It's progressive.
101
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,856
- Good luck, Troy.
- Hey!
102
00:04:01,857 --> 00:04:03,608
You can't just walk in here!
103
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,810
I've been pissing in jars
for an hour
104
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:07,412
trying to keep this seat.
105
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:08,830
- Oh.
- Too bad, Leonard.
106
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,648
All right, all right.
107
00:04:10,649 --> 00:04:12,984
All right.
Simmer Dean.
108
00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:15,587
This can't be good.
He's dressed as himself.
109
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,757
Greendale's registration
system has been hacked.
110
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,825
That's right.
Someone hacked
111
00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:22,827
into the supply closet
and counterfeited
112
00:04:22,828 --> 00:04:25,180
these "History of Ice Cream"
admission cards.
113
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:29,000
Whoever did this is very good.
114
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:31,436
There is only one fair way
to solve this.
115
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:36,141
So follow me to...
116
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:02,167
The Hunger Deans!
117
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,752
Thank you.
Thank you.
118
00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:06,004
There are 35 tests of strength
119
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,305
and agility.
120
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:09,557
The winner of each one
of these contests
121
00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:11,993
will be awarded
a red rubber ball.
122
00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:14,179
No ball, no ice cream.
123
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,765
And these are impossible
to counterfeit
124
00:05:16,766 --> 00:05:21,385
because each one has been marked
by my distinct bite print.
125
00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:23,321
- Oh, lord, no.
- Yes.
126
00:05:23,322 --> 00:05:24,989
Guys, we need
to take this class.
127
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,858
It's the only History credit
this semester.
128
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,194
Whatevs.
We'll take it next semes.
129
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,895
Ter.
Semester.
130
00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:32,664
But I need it now.
131
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,417
Okay, I took
some extra classes online,
132
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,619
and I'm one history credit away
from graduating.
133
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,171
Jeff, you're graduating early?
134
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:43,241
Well, graduating after 30
can't be characterized as early.
135
00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:44,542
When were you gonna tell us,
Jeff?
136
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:45,710
I was working on a speech.
137
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:48,346
And, believe me, it tied in
a lot of things.
138
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,765
There was a lot of resolutions
and epiphanies.
139
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,083
And it would have gone down
a lot better
140
00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:55,353
after we had taken
the ice cream class together.
141
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,521
So that's why you were holding
our seats?
142
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,056
For your own selfish reasons?
143
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,091
No, I want us
to take the class together.
144
00:06:00,092 --> 00:06:02,260
I just want it to be
the last class we take together.
145
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,195
I probably should have phrased
146
00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:05,780
- that differently.
- Fine. Win your red ball.
147
00:06:05,781 --> 00:06:08,199
What do I care?
I've got a senior prank to pull.
148
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,534
- Shirley.
- Mm-hmm.
149
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,035
So, Abed, ready
to make some wishes?
150
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:13,455
Make chocolate hot dogs
a reality?
151
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,622
Actually, why don't you go
with Britta?
152
00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:16,074
I think I'll just hang out here
and watch.
153
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:17,408
Really?
Are you sure?
154
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:20,378
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- F-i-n-e or f-y-n-e?
155
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,547
We made one of 'em a code
for "not fine."
156
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,283
- Oh.
- F-y-n-e.
157
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:26,918
Okay, he's fine.
Let's go.
158
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:29,304
- See you around, old Jeff.
- No.
159
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:32,006
New Jeff. New Jeff does not
just look out for himself.
160
00:06:32,007 --> 00:06:34,225
New Jeff is gonna win
seven red balls
161
00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,810
because he is not gonna take
that class
162
00:06:35,811 --> 00:06:37,846
unless you guys are with me.
163
00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:40,732
Look, we're gonna have
to leave this place sometime.
164
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,317
Like an ice cream cone melting
165
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:46,521
in the sun, our time here
can't last forever.
166
00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:48,306
That was part of the speech
I was writing!
167
00:06:50,642 --> 00:06:51,826
Hey, guys.
What's going on?
168
00:06:51,827 --> 00:06:54,145
Oh, just making plans
for the future.
169
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:57,031
Can't stay
at Greendale forever.
170
00:06:57,032 --> 00:06:58,366
Hey, is mine different
than yours?
171
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:01,819
Look out below.
172
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:06,657
Coming in for a land-Dean.
173
00:07:06,658 --> 00:07:08,593
Amelia Earhart?
174
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,212
Close.
I am America's sexiest aviator,
175
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,615
Leo DiCaprio.
176
00:07:13,616 --> 00:07:15,984
And, just as his character
lost his mind,
177
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:19,721
so have I lost
your student records.
178
00:07:19,722 --> 00:07:22,006
What?
I can't believe it.
179
00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:25,026
Yeah, Amelia Earhart
would have been faster.
180
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,779
As you know,
our student records are stored
181
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:30,932
on a Microsoft Paint file,
which I was assured
182
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,683
was future-proof.
183
00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:35,787
Meanwhile,
our extended warranty
184
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,455
is not being honored
by the restaurant
185
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:38,656
that used to be Circuit City.
186
00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:42,610
But I think the fairest way
to handle this
187
00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:45,964
is to have everyone repeat
the last three years.
188
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,632
You can't be serious.
189
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,767
In-Dean, I am.
190
00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,971
I'm gonna be here forever.
191
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:56,090
Forever.
Forever. Forever.
192
00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:59,978
I'm gonna stay in here forever.
193
00:08:02,312 --> 00:08:05,434
Gentlemen... and ladies.
194
00:08:05,435 --> 00:08:07,019
My first red ball
195
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,154
is way up high.
196
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,972
To touch my ball,
197
00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:13,575
first touch the sky.
198
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,993
Go!
199
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,246
Give it up, Leonard.
200
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:20,115
I'm gonna eat
your ice cream, Winger.
201
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:23,202
Agh!
You? You're pre-med!
202
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,703
- I want ice cream.
- Yeah, well, I want
203
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,789
to graduate with dignity.
204
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,323
Not cool!
205
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,995
Jeff's really going
after that ball.
206
00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:35,898
There's got to be a joke
in there somewhere.
207
00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:37,182
That's my first ball.
208
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,102
New Jeff!
209
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,003
Give me a minute.
Give me a minute.
210
00:08:42,004 --> 00:08:45,107
No.
211
00:08:47,477 --> 00:08:49,845
You know, if we're doing the
first three years over again,
212
00:08:49,846 --> 00:08:50,979
I could change majors.
213
00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:53,515
I've always been curious
about Forensics.
214
00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:55,651
Hey, did you know
you could major in Antics?
215
00:08:55,652 --> 00:08:57,186
I checked.
You need a tomfoolery pre-req,
216
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:58,737
but they waive it for women.
217
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:01,123
This is lunacy.
218
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,958
We are not gonna start over
as freshmen.
219
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,910
Hey, there's
a freshman mixer tonight.
220
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:05,911
Are you guys freshmen?
221
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:09,030
We can be.
222
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,845
This prank is amazing.
223
00:09:22,846 --> 00:09:25,213
He's gonna come in here later
and have the creepy feeling
224
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,765
someone was in here.
225
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:28,383
We should go
before we get caught.
226
00:09:28,384 --> 00:09:30,018
Well, aren't we gonna do
something now that we're here?
227
00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:31,720
Do something?
228
00:09:31,721 --> 00:09:33,989
All right.
229
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,742
A prank on a prank.
230
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,528
Let's move everything
on his desk over an inch
231
00:09:39,529 --> 00:09:41,079
except his stapler.
232
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,581
Then he'll think
we moved his stapler.
233
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,366
Oh, my God, there's
so many levels to this.
234
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,502
How about we fill his car
with popcorn?
235
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,453
That sounds messy.
236
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:52,090
That sounds messy!
237
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,910
Okay, keys.
Keys.
238
00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,879
Okay, I'm the Dean.
239
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:57,963
I come into my office,
240
00:09:57,964 --> 00:09:59,381
turn on the light.
241
00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:02,634
"Oh, my, did my stapler
grow legs and move?"
242
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:06,188
Then come over here for coffee.
243
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,441
I would hide my keys
244
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:14,630
in...
Huh.
245
00:10:14,631 --> 00:10:15,998
Oh.
246
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,904
Heels.
Oh, you got skills.
247
00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:23,488
Oh.
248
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,574
- Look who got his ball.
- Not my ball.
249
00:10:25,575 --> 00:10:26,658
Your ball.
250
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,276
I just wanted you guys
to see it.
251
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:30,629
- New Jeff.
- Jeffrey, is that blood on your shirt?
252
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,880
Oh, no, it's cool.
It's Leonard's.
253
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,582
Oh.
Oh.
254
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,668
Two balls!
255
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:40,589
This is gonna be so good
when I finally get it.
256
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,010
It's a little weird
doing this without Abed.
257
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,595
Come on.
It'll be fun.
258
00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:48,797
I'll put my...
my Britta twist on it.
259
00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:53,635
I got skills.
I got skills.
260
00:10:53,636 --> 00:10:55,270
Sorry.
Let's get this started.
261
00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,521
We always do
the first one together.
262
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:58,106
One, two, three.
263
00:10:58,107 --> 00:11:00,242
- I wish for a great school year.
- I wish for 1,000 wishes.
264
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,660
Great school year?
265
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,829
The first wish
is always for 1,000 wishes.
266
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,113
But we have all these coins.
267
00:11:05,114 --> 00:11:07,249
Yeah, but the coins
aren't the wishes.
268
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,750
Oh, I didn't know that.
269
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,704
I wish for Britta to have 499
of my remaining wishes.
270
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:14,289
Thank you.
271
00:11:14,290 --> 00:11:15,958
I wish to end all wars.
272
00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:17,409
That's another rule.
273
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,844
No wishes
containing the word "all."
274
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,846
Guaranteed ironic consequences.
275
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,764
I don't think
anyone's gonna miss wars.
276
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,332
Star Wars, Thumb Wars,
277
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,334
wow, Storage Wars!
278
00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:27,936
Fine.
279
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,838
You can't get in the fountain.
280
00:11:29,839 --> 00:11:31,473
- I'm taking that penny back.
- I already told you,
281
00:11:31,474 --> 00:11:32,524
the pennies aren't wishes.
282
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,942
You can't flip a wish.
283
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:35,110
That's ridiculous.
284
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,678
Your rules are ridiculous.
285
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:38,447
They're Abed's rules.
286
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,365
And they're awesome,
and they always work.
287
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,402
Well, Abed's not here, so...
288
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,519
Unwish!
289
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,622
- You can't do that.
- I just did.
290
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,323
- Unwish!
- No! Rewish.
291
00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:50,692
- Ununwish.
- Give me it! Unwish!
292
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:52,577
No!
293
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,195
No!
Oh, I'm sorry.
294
00:11:54,196 --> 00:11:55,664
What... you're helping me!
295
00:11:55,665 --> 00:11:58,216
You're helping.
I like it.
296
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,085
- Unwish! Unwish!
- Oh, God!
297
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,586
Why does this feel good?
298
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:03,922
Stupid, selfish Jeff
299
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,141
coming here,
ruining our senior year.
300
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,644
Ah, great!
My "G"s are back.
301
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,312
Yes, it's crummy
that Jeff is leaving early,
302
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,014
but we're all graduating
eventually.
303
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:13,381
But why the rush?
304
00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:16,184
What, so Jeff can run off
and be a gross lawyer again?
305
00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,853
Troy and Abed
start drinking coffee?
306
00:12:17,854 --> 00:12:20,155
I become
a boring hospital administrator?
307
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,389
Who wants to do that?
308
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,774
You do. Right?
309
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:25,193
Yay, hospital administration!
310
00:12:25,194 --> 00:12:26,862
Can't wait to be buried alive
311
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:28,830
under a pile of paperwork
and bed pans,
312
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,399
just trying to summon the
courage to ask out Dr. Patel,
313
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,336
the gorgeous Indian neurosurgeon
who doesn't even know I exist.
314
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,071
This isn't a conversation,
is it?
315
00:12:36,072 --> 00:12:39,541
Whoo-hoo! The sad, slow march
toward death begins.
316
00:12:41,744 --> 00:12:43,595
Senioritis!
317
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,298
Ready, set...
318
00:12:51,754 --> 00:12:53,972
Third ball.
319
00:12:58,895 --> 00:13:00,896
Fourth ball.
320
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,573
Well, well, well.
321
00:13:11,574 --> 00:13:14,910
Looks like someone wants
to be a hero.
322
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,912
A big man.
A huge, throbbing, sweaty...
323
00:13:16,913 --> 00:13:18,380
Dean, I just want to get
my history credit
324
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,381
and get out of here.
325
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,382
And I just need to know
326
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:21,666
how bad you want it.
327
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,952
The next competition
will be particularly difficult
328
00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:26,388
for some of you
because... lt requires
329
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,456
complete emotional commitment.
330
00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:30,058
The Tango.
331
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,343
I will be the judge.
332
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:32,460
There can only be one winner,
333
00:13:32,461 --> 00:13:34,012
so choose your partners wisely.
334
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,180
Come on, Winger.
335
00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,464
It's water
under the bridge, right?
336
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:37,682
- Partners?
- Sorry.
337
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:38,900
My dance card's full.
338
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,521
For my partner
in the Tango competition,
339
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,139
I choose...
340
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,690
The Dean.
341
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:48,744
The fountain works.
342
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,086
All these balls.
343
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,956
I'm so close, I can taste it.
344
00:14:05,494 --> 00:14:08,130
Pierce, only you could turn
a freshman mixer
345
00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:09,381
into a disaster.
346
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,933
I was this close
to getting those two girls.
347
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,052
Jeff, look how close you're
holding your fingers together.
348
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,604
That's your penis.
349
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,607
Guys, great news.
350
00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,275
After just one Forensics class,
351
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,527
I found a way
to retrieve our student records.
352
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,112
It turns out there's a backup.
353
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,280
And it's in this safe.
354
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,488
I have a theory, Dean.
355
00:14:33,489 --> 00:14:35,123
Do tell.
356
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,576
I don't think
you want me to graduate.
357
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,527
Don't be absurd, Jeffrey.
358
00:14:39,528 --> 00:14:41,830
I want success
for all Greendale students.
359
00:14:41,831 --> 00:14:44,082
Oh, really?
Then answer me this.
360
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,251
What happened
to the other History class?
361
00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:49,171
What other History class?
362
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:50,705
The second History class,
363
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,340
the one
that actually taught History,
364
00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:54,392
that disappeared
from the schedule
365
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,211
after I took summer classes.
366
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:58,230
Oh, you're telling yourself
a fantasy.
367
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,982
Who really made those
counterfeited ice cream tickets?
368
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,551
Who's so good
that they got your handwriting
369
00:15:03,552 --> 00:15:05,687
with its hearts and flourishes?
370
00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:06,888
Oh, God, you're right.
371
00:15:06,889 --> 00:15:09,024
I can't let you go, Jeffrey.
372
00:15:09,025 --> 00:15:10,391
You weren't supposed
to compete.
373
00:15:10,392 --> 00:15:11,493
You were supposed to walk away
374
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,727
with the rest
of the study group.
375
00:15:12,728 --> 00:15:15,413
You can't not get rid of me
that easily.
376
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,867
Oh, God, why'd I make it
feats of strength and grace?
377
00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:22,037
It's as if I wanted you to win.
378
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:24,756
But that can't be true.
379
00:15:27,188 --> 00:15:28,639
Smile.
380
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,017
Best friends!
381
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,437
Let's hug it out.
Okay.
382
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,190
Here.
One more ball to go.
383
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,859
But it's another dance contest,
384
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,861
so I think I got it.
385
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,362
What's wrong with Abed?
386
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:54,936
No, no, no, no,
don't open the safe.
387
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:56,204
We're redoing
our first three years.
388
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,989
- That's what I want.
- It's okay, Abed.
389
00:15:57,990 --> 00:16:00,792
Here's a trick I use
when I feel overwhelmed.
390
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,610
Just imagine a happy place
391
00:16:02,611 --> 00:16:05,613
and then go there.
392
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:10,952
* Greendale babies *
393
00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:13,288
♪ we're happy and we're free ♪
394
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:15,590
* Greendale babiesTªs
395
00:16:15,591 --> 00:16:17,659
♪ fun for you and me
396
00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:20,295
* Greendale babies forever *
397
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:23,298
Greendale babies
will be right back forever!
398
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:31,601
Pierce, what did you do
to Abed?
399
00:16:31,602 --> 00:16:33,570
Gay balls!
400
00:16:33,571 --> 00:16:35,873
Nailed it.
401
00:16:35,874 --> 00:16:38,909
- Don't ask.
- Don't tell.
402
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,562
Poor Abed. Is he
in his imagination emporium?
403
00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:44,298
Dreamatorium. No, this seems
like something new.
404
00:16:44,299 --> 00:16:48,051
Abed was having some anxiety
about all the changes this year,
405
00:16:48,052 --> 00:16:51,472
so I may have told him to go
to a happy place in his mind.
406
00:16:51,473 --> 00:16:54,508
You told him to go somewhere
in his mind?
407
00:16:54,509 --> 00:16:56,126
Do you realize
who you told that to?
408
00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:57,978
The last competition
to win a red ball
409
00:16:57,979 --> 00:16:59,980
begins in one minute.
410
00:16:59,981 --> 00:17:01,181
Honestly, Jeff, you can go.
411
00:17:01,182 --> 00:17:04,568
No one will think
you're selfish.
412
00:17:04,569 --> 00:17:05,652
This looks bad.
413
00:17:05,653 --> 00:17:07,237
I wish I hadn't broken Abed.
414
00:17:07,238 --> 00:17:10,807
There is one thing
we could try.
415
00:17:10,808 --> 00:17:13,494
Oh, okay.
416
00:17:13,495 --> 00:17:15,645
I've only done this
once before.
417
00:17:20,318 --> 00:17:21,952
Hey, let's play Pretend.
418
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,904
Yeah, we could be cowboys.
419
00:17:23,905 --> 00:17:25,355
We could be spacemen.
420
00:17:28,309 --> 00:17:31,345
That's right, baby Pierce.
We can play forever.
421
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,132
- It's not working.
- What's not working?
422
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:38,652
Okay, contestants, final
competition begins right now.
423
00:17:38,653 --> 00:17:43,056
God, I hate new Jeff.
424
00:17:43,057 --> 00:17:45,959
Hey, guys,
I have something to say.
425
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,911
Yay!
Like always!
426
00:17:47,912 --> 00:17:49,963
I was just outside Babyville.
427
00:17:49,964 --> 00:17:51,565
There's nothing
outside Babyville.
428
00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:53,467
You know what, there is!
429
00:17:53,468 --> 00:17:55,836
And it was scary,
430
00:17:55,837 --> 00:17:57,621
because change is always scary.
431
00:17:57,622 --> 00:17:59,840
But then I thought of you guys,
432
00:17:59,841 --> 00:18:01,842
and I wasn't so scared.
433
00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:03,493
Abed, when you brought
this group together,
434
00:18:03,494 --> 00:18:06,964
you changed our lives,
but then we changed each other.
435
00:18:06,965 --> 00:18:08,966
And we're gonna keep changing
in unexpected ways.
436
00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:11,051
And we're still gonna be
friends,
437
00:18:11,052 --> 00:18:13,587
even if we don't all become
professors at Greendale
438
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:15,839
or open a restaurant together
439
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,475
or move into the same apartment
building after Pierce dies.
440
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,395
Even if we go somewhere,
441
00:18:21,396 --> 00:18:23,430
we're not going anywhere.
442
00:18:23,431 --> 00:18:25,849
Aww.
443
00:18:36,527 --> 00:18:37,727
That was a killer speech, Jeff.
444
00:18:37,728 --> 00:18:39,329
- Oh.
- I didn't say anything.
445
00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:40,948
I literally just walked up.
446
00:18:40,949 --> 00:18:42,232
I know.
I made the speech for you.
447
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:43,733
It hit all the right notes.
448
00:18:43,734 --> 00:18:45,285
I was trying to hang on to this
moment because I was so afraid
449
00:18:45,286 --> 00:18:47,070
of the future,
but then I realized
450
00:18:47,071 --> 00:18:49,139
all of this
was once the future.
451
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:51,541
And it was completely different
from what I'd known before.
452
00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:52,876
And it was happening so fast,
453
00:18:52,877 --> 00:18:54,845
but in the end,
or in the now, I guess,
454
00:18:54,846 --> 00:18:56,213
it turned out great.
455
00:18:56,214 --> 00:18:57,848
And just like ice cream,
456
00:18:57,849 --> 00:18:59,749
we've melted together
and made a new...
457
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:01,084
I just had to run the scenario
to figure it out.
458
00:19:01,085 --> 00:19:02,419
Oh.
459
00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:03,537
Sorry I missed the fountain.
460
00:19:03,538 --> 00:19:04,538
It's okay.
461
00:19:04,539 --> 00:19:05,789
Britta introduced a new rule...
462
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,641
no rules.
463
00:19:07,642 --> 00:19:08,825
Cool.
We can discuss it.
464
00:19:08,826 --> 00:19:10,027
When they were incepting,
465
00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:12,729
I got their balls.
466
00:19:15,566 --> 00:19:17,534
Well, now that we're out
of History of Ice Cream,
467
00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:20,270
I can finally take
"Advanced Claims Denial."
468
00:19:20,271 --> 00:19:23,991
You should take "Forensics."
469
00:19:25,326 --> 00:19:28,695
Can somebody tell me
what the hell we just did?
470
00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:31,114
Jeffrey.
471
00:19:31,115 --> 00:19:32,115
Jeffrey, wait.
472
00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:33,367
Dean, what are you...
473
00:19:33,368 --> 00:19:35,352
Oh! You smell like the floor
of a movie theater.
474
00:19:35,353 --> 00:19:36,837
Yeah,
but not for the usual reasons.
475
00:19:36,838 --> 00:19:38,705
I have had the worst day.
476
00:19:38,706 --> 00:19:40,123
Our dance photo
didn't come out,
477
00:19:40,124 --> 00:19:41,725
someone moved my stapler,
478
00:19:41,726 --> 00:19:44,227
and, worst of all, I hurt you.
479
00:19:44,228 --> 00:19:46,013
But you'll be happy to know
480
00:19:46,014 --> 00:19:47,898
that we'll be offering
another History class,
481
00:19:47,899 --> 00:19:49,299
because I care about you.
482
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,485
And not because I found out
if we don't offer
483
00:19:51,486 --> 00:19:54,438
a real History class we'll lose,
like, $40,000 in grant money.
484
00:19:54,439 --> 00:19:55,939
Thank you, Dean.
485
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:57,240
By the way, you didn't have
to come all this way
486
00:19:57,241 --> 00:19:59,076
- to tell me that.
- Oh, no, it wasn't a problem.
487
00:19:59,077 --> 00:20:00,643
It's on my way.
488
00:20:03,147 --> 00:20:05,148
Please tell me
you're breaking into that condo.
489
00:20:05,149 --> 00:20:06,333
No, I bought it.
490
00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:08,285
Now we'll be
like almost roomies.
491
00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:11,588
Oh, good, you got wine.
I've got friends with benefits.
492
00:20:11,589 --> 00:20:12,822
No subtext.
493
00:20:12,823 --> 00:20:15,509
I don't know why I was
so worried about change.
494
00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:16,677
This year's gonna be great.
495
00:20:16,678 --> 00:20:18,328
I'll be right over.
496
00:20:48,429 --> 00:20:49,595
Are you sure
this is gonna work?
497
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:50,897
Guaranteed to work.
It's an antic.
498
00:20:50,898 --> 00:20:54,967
Ahh!
Not so fast, you two.
499
00:20:54,968 --> 00:20:57,253
- Get ready to run.
- In these heels?
500
00:20:57,254 --> 00:21:00,373
Where'd you girls
get those dresses?
501
00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:01,524
They're fabulous.
502
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:03,693
- Mm.
- They're charming.
503
00:21:03,694 --> 00:21:05,695
Oh!
504
00:21:05,696 --> 00:21:06,913
Not so fast, mister.
505
00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:09,532
- Excuse you?
- Excuse me. Thank you, sir.
506
00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:11,617
- Not for you.
- Hello, it's Britta.
507
00:21:11,618 --> 00:21:13,369
Okay, I know a man
when I see one.
508
00:21:13,370 --> 00:21:15,487
Oh, lord, no!
509
00:21:18,312 --> 00:21:23,939
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com