1 00:00:01,684 --> 00:00:05,050 Okay, we'll get an estimate on adding grass to the soccer field. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:06,969 Good meeting. 3 00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:09,238 Oh, Jeff, what time's dinner? 4 00:00:09,273 --> 00:00:11,040 Uh, dinner? 5 00:00:11,091 --> 00:00:13,042 Jeff, you didn't invite Shirley? 6 00:00:13,076 --> 00:00:14,477 Well, it's Tuesday. 7 00:00:14,528 --> 00:00:17,313 Shirley always goes to Elijah's karate practice on Tuesdays. 8 00:00:17,347 --> 00:00:19,565 It's okay. Part of making sacrifices 9 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,567 for my loved ones is not expecting 10 00:00:21,602 --> 00:00:23,653 my loved ones to make sacrifices. 11 00:00:23,687 --> 00:00:25,555 Aw. 12 00:00:25,589 --> 00:00:27,673 - I can do tomorrow. - I can't. 13 00:00:27,708 --> 00:00:28,941 I'm free on Fridays and Mondays... 14 00:00:28,976 --> 00:00:31,410 We're not moving it! 15 00:00:31,445 --> 00:00:34,664 When Shirley can have dinner, we'll have another dinner, 16 00:00:34,698 --> 00:00:36,732 because it's just dinner. 17 00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,834 And there's no need to manipulate each other. 18 00:00:38,869 --> 00:00:40,619 You know that's what you do. 19 00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:44,607 You know you're doing it now with that face. 20 00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:46,192 You don't like my face? 21 00:00:46,226 --> 00:00:49,461 Aw. 22 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:51,681 Hello, Save Greendale Committee. 23 00:00:51,732 --> 00:00:54,333 This is David and Bixel. 24 00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:56,102 They're app designers. 25 00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:57,403 They'd like to beta test 26 00:00:57,437 --> 00:01:00,373 their latest social-networking app on our campus, 27 00:01:00,407 --> 00:01:01,607 which could be good for us. 28 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,442 Look what Facebook did for Harvard, right? 29 00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,578 Hey, guys. Bixel and I would like 30 00:01:05,596 --> 00:01:09,165 to introduce you to a little app called MeowMeowBeenz. 31 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,384 - Ooh. - MeowMeowBeenz let's you say 32 00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:14,720 how much you like, who you like, when you like, 33 00:01:14,738 --> 00:01:17,506 all from a standard non-boost mobile phone. 34 00:01:17,541 --> 00:01:19,258 Let's see how it works. 35 00:01:19,293 --> 00:01:22,612 Bixel, what did you think of the way the Dean introduced us? 36 00:01:22,646 --> 00:01:23,980 I thought he did great. 37 00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:26,682 That's why I'm giving him five MeowMeowBeenz. 38 00:01:26,717 --> 00:01:28,500 Aw. 39 00:01:28,518 --> 00:01:29,569 Well, Bixel, I'm sorry, 40 00:01:29,603 --> 00:01:32,922 but I thought his intro was just okay. 41 00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:34,924 That's why I'm gonna give him 42 00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:38,561 two out of five MeowMeowBeenz. 43 00:01:38,612 --> 00:01:40,580 My MeowMeowBeenz. 44 00:01:40,614 --> 00:01:43,432 With MeowMeowBeenz, students can rate teachers. 45 00:01:43,467 --> 00:01:45,251 Teachers can rate students. 46 00:01:45,285 --> 00:01:47,787 Everyone and anyone can rate each other. 47 00:01:47,821 --> 00:01:50,172 MeowMeowBeenz. 48 00:01:50,223 --> 00:01:52,291 You know... 49 00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:55,111 I could... 50 00:01:55,162 --> 00:01:58,047 I fought for this country, 51 00:01:58,098 --> 00:02:00,716 and I know you don't get to pick and choose 52 00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:03,636 the parts you fight for, but I know... 53 00:02:03,670 --> 00:02:06,889 I should go number two soon. 54 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,526 ♪ Give me some rope ♪ 55 00:02:10,577 --> 00:02:12,278 ♪ Tie me to dream ♪ 56 00:02:12,312 --> 00:02:13,596 ♪ Give me the hope ♪ 57 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,097 ♪ To run out of steam ♪ 58 00:02:15,132 --> 00:02:18,567 ♪ Somebody said it can be here ♪ 59 00:02:18,619 --> 00:02:22,672 ♪ We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 60 00:02:22,723 --> 00:02:27,860 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 61 00:02:27,894 --> 00:02:31,840 ♪ One by one, they all just fade away ♪ 62 00:02:31,941 --> 00:02:34,860 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 63 00:02:35,095 --> 00:02:39,226 __ 64 00:02:39,239 --> 00:02:41,357 Hurry up! I'm late for Human Rights class. 65 00:02:41,391 --> 00:02:43,492 I'm sorry. 66 00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,494 Why is Starburns carrying Garrett's books? 67 00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:47,413 It's like toast bossing crackers around. 68 00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:49,081 I mean, I guess. 69 00:02:49,099 --> 00:02:50,299 Garrett's got three MeowMeowBeenz. 70 00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:51,750 - Starburns is a Two. - Are you telling me 71 00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:53,369 people are actually using this stupid app? 72 00:02:53,403 --> 00:02:55,354 - It's addictively effective. - No, it's effectively stupid. 73 00:02:55,372 --> 00:02:58,674 There already was a rating system in place called "cool people get more," 74 00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,059 and it was working fine. 75 00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:02,244 MeowMeowBeenz takes everything subjective and unspoken 76 00:03:02,279 --> 00:03:03,646 about human interaction and reduces it 77 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,581 to explicit, objective numbers. 78 00:03:05,615 --> 00:03:06,999 I've never felt more alive. 79 00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:10,236 As long as you're happy, I'm unsettled. 80 00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:13,556 - Hey, guys. - What happened to you? 81 00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,458 I sat on a toilet so long, my feet fell asleep, 82 00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:18,127 then I noticed limping was getting MeowMeowBeenz, 83 00:03:18,178 --> 00:03:20,863 so I just kind of started committing. 84 00:03:20,897 --> 00:03:22,398 Did you understand a word he said? 85 00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:24,417 Mm-hmm. 86 00:03:33,510 --> 00:03:36,178 Hey, here you go. Here you go. 87 00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:39,148 Nobody is gonna down-vote a guy on his birthday. 88 00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:41,016 Wait. Are you using MeowMeowBeenz? 89 00:03:41,051 --> 00:03:42,618 If you can't kill it, join it. 90 00:03:42,652 --> 00:03:44,704 When you get older, you're gonna see the warning signs. 91 00:03:44,738 --> 00:03:48,057 Mark Zuckerberg is Fidel Castro in flip-flops. 92 00:03:48,108 --> 00:03:51,977 MeowMeowBeenz is gonna make East Berlin look like Woodstock. 93 00:03:51,995 --> 00:03:53,846 You take my word for that. 94 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,066 Do you own stock in Trivial Pursuit's Baby Boom Edition? 95 00:03:59,436 --> 00:04:02,181 Britta. Please tell me you're not using this app. 96 00:04:02,205 --> 00:04:05,824 Uh, I liked the idea at first, giving a voice to the unheard, 97 00:04:05,842 --> 00:04:07,309 but then Annie just told me 98 00:04:07,344 --> 00:04:09,979 that the rating system is exponentially weighted. 99 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:12,398 As your ratings go up, your ratings of other people 100 00:04:12,432 --> 00:04:14,032 - become more important. - No. 101 00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:17,002 It just means the more others like you, the more likeable you can make others. 102 00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:18,104 It makes sense to me. 103 00:04:18,138 --> 00:04:19,905 You know who else it made sense to? 104 00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:21,774 Say "Hitler" one more time, and I'm giving you a two. 105 00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:23,392 Jeff, are you not registered? 106 00:04:23,427 --> 00:04:24,710 The longer you wait, 107 00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:26,395 the harder it's gonna be to get your number up. 108 00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:28,197 Annie! Listen to yourself. 109 00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:29,565 You're learning its language. 110 00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,066 You're letting a video game play you. 111 00:04:31,118 --> 00:04:33,085 I got to set these people straight. 112 00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:36,388 Hey, hey, uh... 113 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:38,624 Students of Greendale! 114 00:04:38,658 --> 00:04:42,161 We don't have to worship a calculator! 115 00:04:42,195 --> 00:04:44,814 There is no formula for people! 116 00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:49,185 Oh. 117 00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:51,870 You're punishing me for being alive! 118 00:04:51,888 --> 00:04:55,024 That's the general idea, baby. 119 00:04:55,075 --> 00:04:58,961 You're gonna think I'm joking, but you were getting through 120 00:04:58,995 --> 00:05:00,746 to me more with mustard on your lip. 121 00:05:00,781 --> 00:05:02,648 - Oh, shut up. - He's not kidding, Britta. 122 00:05:02,682 --> 00:05:04,016 I thought I was imagining it. 123 00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,351 When you had mustard on your lip, 124 00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:06,786 I was more open to your opinion. 125 00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:10,789 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your excessive intensity. 126 00:05:10,807 --> 00:05:13,008 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your stupid butt. 127 00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:14,093 Hmm. 128 00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:15,878 How you doing, Rog? 129 00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:17,580 Hey, Charlotte. I see what you did there. 130 00:05:17,631 --> 00:05:21,817 Vicki, I love this. 131 00:05:21,852 --> 00:05:23,536 Shirley's a Five. 132 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:25,554 - How? - She's nice to people, Jeff. 133 00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:26,922 You know Shirley. 134 00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:28,724 Oh, Vicki, thank you. 135 00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:31,527 Did you just give me four MeowMeowBeenz? 136 00:05:31,561 --> 00:05:32,611 Um... 137 00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:35,531 I love my four from Vicki. 138 00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:38,784 No! 139 00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:40,586 Stop it! 140 00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:43,439 I didn't mean it. 141 00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:44,890 Yeah. 142 00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:47,209 I do know Shirley. 143 00:05:48,612 --> 00:05:50,179 Oh! 144 00:05:50,213 --> 00:05:51,847 We should be having brownies. 145 00:05:51,882 --> 00:05:53,649 I'm going to help Shirley. 146 00:05:53,683 --> 00:05:56,118 Not a bad idea for you, Britta. She could make you a Two again. 147 00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:58,254 Screw your Twos, and screw MeowMeowBeenz. 148 00:05:58,288 --> 00:06:01,423 I know that's your One talking. 149 00:06:01,474 --> 00:06:03,475 What are you doing? 150 00:06:03,509 --> 00:06:04,894 Registering for MeowMeowBeenz. 151 00:06:04,945 --> 00:06:06,729 I'm gonna become a Five and expose this thing 152 00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:07,897 for the sham it is. 153 00:06:07,948 --> 00:06:10,282 Oh, now you're speaking my language. 154 00:06:10,316 --> 00:06:12,117 That's unintentional, trust me. 155 00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,269 Mm. 156 00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:14,720 Just make sure you know the real reason 157 00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:17,723 you're doing something, or you'll fail before you start. 158 00:06:17,741 --> 00:06:19,074 That's actually a good point. 159 00:06:19,109 --> 00:06:21,293 It is? Why? 160 00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,880 Oh, come on! 161 00:06:25,081 --> 00:06:29,143 __ 162 00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:31,787 So I'm like, "That's two cups," and she's like, "What?" 163 00:06:31,821 --> 00:06:34,490 I'm like, "Two cups, balls back, tops off." 164 00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:41,881 All right, Trent, Mulch, Dave, Herpie, Clutch, Dirt Mouth, 165 00:06:41,915 --> 00:06:45,150 Rope, Tingles, Cat Woman, Steve. 166 00:06:45,184 --> 00:06:46,619 All right, keep it floppy. 167 00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:48,404 Haul it, ball it, never call it. 168 00:06:48,455 --> 00:06:49,872 Girls are objects. 169 00:06:49,923 --> 00:06:52,758 Yeah! 170 00:06:55,512 --> 00:06:58,998 Two MeowMeowBeenz. 171 00:06:59,032 --> 00:07:00,265 Congratulations. 172 00:07:00,283 --> 00:07:02,985 Abed was just explaining that the Fives get to choose 173 00:07:03,036 --> 00:07:04,770 what setting the air conditioning is on. 174 00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,822 Yep. 175 00:07:06,873 --> 00:07:09,441 Is it me, or are more people wearing gray. 176 00:07:09,459 --> 00:07:10,743 I feel like I'm in a commercial, 177 00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:12,211 and someone's about to hand me a Starburst. 178 00:07:12,245 --> 00:07:13,879 Threes and Twos tend to wear neutral colors. 179 00:07:13,914 --> 00:07:15,497 Looking like you want to move up can get you moved down. 180 00:07:15,548 --> 00:07:19,251 - Abed, hey. Come here. - Hi. 181 00:07:19,285 --> 00:07:20,552 Those are other Threes. 182 00:07:20,587 --> 00:07:23,389 We talk about how we're glad we're not Twos. 183 00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:25,557 Small talk, guys. 184 00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:27,960 I make small talk now. 185 00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:29,094 Hello, Jeffrey. 186 00:07:29,128 --> 00:07:30,930 I see you decided to join MeowMeowBeenz. 187 00:07:30,964 --> 00:07:32,631 Oh, it's a great tool for living. 188 00:07:32,649 --> 00:07:34,633 - You look great. - You look great. 189 00:07:34,651 --> 00:07:36,971 - You know what you're doing. - You know what you're doing. 190 00:07:36,987 --> 00:07:38,737 I'm watching you, okay? 191 00:07:38,772 --> 00:07:41,857 - Mm, mm. - Mm, mm. 192 00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:44,326 Yeah, you'll be watching my hinder, mama, 193 00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:48,380 and choking on its billowing plume of highly rated dust. 194 00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:54,821 __ 195 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:05,365 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Fours and above only. 196 00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:07,600 These are snacks for the Fives. 197 00:08:07,635 --> 00:08:09,736 Yeah? You're a two. 198 00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:13,890 Leonard, would you rather a Three serve the Fives food? 199 00:08:13,924 --> 00:08:16,976 No. 200 00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:19,729 It is no secret that the Threes and Twos 201 00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:22,465 are growing suspicious of the Fours and Fives. 202 00:08:22,499 --> 00:08:25,852 All I know is that it's my birthday. 203 00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:29,805 What if we give these people something to believe in again? 204 00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:31,090 - Koogler? - Hey. 205 00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:33,259 I know what you guys think of me, okay? 206 00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:35,829 "Hey, it's Koogler." You know. "He's cool." 207 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,915 "He likes to get laid. He's not that old." 208 00:08:38,949 --> 00:08:40,166 But I'm a Five 209 00:08:40,201 --> 00:08:41,935 because I know what the Twos and the Threes need. 210 00:08:41,969 --> 00:08:43,620 What do we all need? 211 00:08:43,654 --> 00:08:45,488 Entertainment. 212 00:08:45,522 --> 00:08:47,090 A talent show. 213 00:08:47,124 --> 00:08:50,143 An event where Threes and Twos can rise and fall. 214 00:08:50,194 --> 00:08:52,178 It helps people believe in the system. 215 00:08:52,213 --> 00:08:54,180 Give my spot to someone else. I don't want to be a Five. 216 00:08:54,231 --> 00:08:55,982 I was happy as a Three. I'm miserable. 217 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:58,034 Oh, dear Abed. 218 00:08:58,068 --> 00:08:59,719 So humble. 219 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,041 You people are monsters. 220 00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:07,644 Well, if there's nothing else, then... 221 00:09:07,678 --> 00:09:09,045 Speak. 222 00:09:09,063 --> 00:09:12,298 Headline items... A few Twos broke into a supply closet 223 00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,666 and stole a box of peanut butter. 224 00:09:13,717 --> 00:09:16,152 The futurization of the campus decor is almost complete. 225 00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:19,372 And a few hours ago, Jeff Winger became a Four. 226 00:09:19,423 --> 00:09:21,975 That's nice. 227 00:09:27,210 --> 00:09:29,306 __ 228 00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:33,469 You there, girl. 229 00:09:33,504 --> 00:09:35,054 How many MeowMeowBeenz? 230 00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:37,056 Two! 231 00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:40,460 Two? Are you lost, Two? 232 00:09:40,494 --> 00:09:43,363 Yes. Are you lost, Two? 233 00:09:43,397 --> 00:09:45,782 I'll escort her to the common area. 234 00:09:45,816 --> 00:09:48,218 You're a Four? I don't recognize you. 235 00:09:48,252 --> 00:09:49,485 He's new Beenz. 236 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,621 Bye-bye, new Beenz. 237 00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:55,541 Threes and Twos must leave building one after 7:00. 238 00:09:55,593 --> 00:09:58,611 Building one after 7:00 is Fours only. 239 00:09:58,616 --> 00:10:00,696 - What are you doing here? - How goes the revolution? 240 00:10:00,714 --> 00:10:02,131 I can't break a Four. 241 00:10:02,165 --> 00:10:05,001 It's impossible to get any higher without half the Fives in your corner. 242 00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,235 They got this thing locked up. 243 00:10:06,237 --> 00:10:07,370 Yeah, but they're nervous. 244 00:10:07,404 --> 00:10:10,206 They're hosting a talent show to prove that anyone can be a Five. 245 00:10:10,224 --> 00:10:13,176 If you enter it, you'll be center stage with all eyes on you, 246 00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,296 and you can tell everyone this isn't democracy. 247 00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:18,264 This is tyranny. 248 00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:19,849 I'm sorry. Can you put some mustard... 249 00:10:19,883 --> 00:10:22,485 I shouldn't have to put mustard on my face 250 00:10:22,519 --> 00:10:23,836 for this to make sense. 251 00:10:23,871 --> 00:10:25,471 You know we have to take this system down. 252 00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:34,314 You know... 253 00:10:34,348 --> 00:10:37,383 I once loved a Two. 254 00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:40,253 Matthew... 255 00:10:40,304 --> 00:10:43,072 He was my everything. 256 00:10:43,107 --> 00:10:46,342 But numbers change. 257 00:10:49,813 --> 00:10:53,283 I'll keep your secret, new Beenz. 258 00:11:00,824 --> 00:11:02,041 It says you're next. 259 00:11:02,076 --> 00:11:04,260 Now, Jeffrey, I beg you not to take this risk. 260 00:11:04,294 --> 00:11:05,478 You know what they say. 261 00:11:05,529 --> 00:11:07,313 Fives have lives, Fours have chores, 262 00:11:07,364 --> 00:11:09,215 Threes have fleas, Twos have blues, 263 00:11:09,249 --> 00:11:11,801 and Ones don't get a rhyme because they're garbage. 264 00:11:11,835 --> 00:11:13,669 Craig, I got this. 265 00:11:22,379 --> 00:11:24,731 No! 266 00:11:24,765 --> 00:11:25,848 No, please! 267 00:11:25,883 --> 00:11:27,300 Not the Outlands! 268 00:11:27,351 --> 00:11:28,351 Please! 269 00:11:28,369 --> 00:11:29,402 Boo on you! 270 00:11:29,436 --> 00:11:32,405 The Fives have spoken! 271 00:11:32,439 --> 00:11:35,775 And you... uh... 272 00:11:35,809 --> 00:11:38,378 are not very good and... 273 00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:43,900 What? No! Please! 274 00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:46,519 I'm just not very good at public speaking and... 275 00:11:48,839 --> 00:11:50,256 Last chance, Jeffrey. 276 00:11:50,307 --> 00:11:53,026 Showtime. 277 00:12:01,869 --> 00:12:03,353 My name is Jeff Winger. 278 00:12:03,387 --> 00:12:05,805 I recently became a Four. 279 00:12:05,856 --> 00:12:10,009 Funny thing is, when I was a Two, 280 00:12:10,044 --> 00:12:13,858 I didn't actually have any less. 281 00:12:14,748 --> 00:12:18,300 But I did have a lot of crazy friends. 282 00:12:18,318 --> 00:12:20,703 Hey, my name's Tommy Talouca. 283 00:12:20,737 --> 00:12:22,088 I'm from hallway "C." 284 00:12:22,122 --> 00:12:23,523 I'm a Two! 285 00:12:23,557 --> 00:12:27,727 I got to get to the cafeteria before they run out of apples! 286 00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,597 What is with Twos and apples? 287 00:12:31,632 --> 00:12:33,349 You're given three kinds of fruit. 288 00:12:33,384 --> 00:12:36,218 Mix it up. 289 00:12:36,236 --> 00:12:38,538 Then you become a Four. 290 00:12:38,589 --> 00:12:41,391 And you get that, uh... that Four walk. 291 00:12:41,425 --> 00:12:43,309 You know what I'm talking about? It's like this. 292 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,895 It's like one of these. 293 00:12:45,913 --> 00:12:48,347 And they got a little trail of Twos behind them, 294 00:12:48,382 --> 00:12:51,084 and they're like "Hey, is there an apple up there?" 295 00:12:53,153 --> 00:12:55,438 Oh, [bleep]. 296 00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:58,091 Wow. What else is going on? 297 00:12:58,125 --> 00:13:00,042 - He's killing it. - Shh! 298 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:02,095 There came a time 299 00:13:02,146 --> 00:13:04,797 when I has to a "aks" myself, 300 00:13:04,832 --> 00:13:08,217 did I even want to be a Three? 301 00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:12,755 Or did I just hate myself for being a Two? 302 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:15,191 I don't know. 303 00:13:15,225 --> 00:13:17,693 All I know is... 304 00:13:17,728 --> 00:13:20,663 I sure do love them apples! 305 00:13:38,415 --> 00:13:42,285 Oh, the Koog "approogs." That's a five! 306 00:13:46,256 --> 00:13:48,858 Yeah! 307 00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:54,831 Review. Review meow meow meow meow meow! 308 00:13:54,865 --> 00:13:58,117 Review. Review meow meow meow meow meow. 309 00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,236 Down here, guys. 310 00:14:00,254 --> 00:14:01,504 Yeah, yeah. 311 00:14:01,538 --> 00:14:02,705 Can I get a picture? 312 00:14:02,739 --> 00:14:04,924 I want my future kids to know this happened. 313 00:14:04,958 --> 00:14:07,960 I admire your optimism, Garrett. 314 00:14:09,246 --> 00:14:11,097 - What the hell? - I don't want to hear it. 315 00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:13,131 I got this far because I need to take Shirley down. 316 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:15,101 - What about everyone else? - Look around you, Britta. 317 00:14:15,135 --> 00:14:17,854 Everyone wanted this. 318 00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:19,388 Fives only, ma'am. 319 00:14:19,422 --> 00:14:21,607 Oh, great. Come on. 320 00:14:21,642 --> 00:14:24,143 You... you think this system's gonna last forever? 321 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:25,945 I'm gonna free people's minds. 322 00:14:25,979 --> 00:14:28,281 I'm a Psych major. Words are my weapons. 323 00:14:28,315 --> 00:14:30,983 I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons. 324 00:14:36,327 --> 00:14:38,092 Welcome, Fives, 325 00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:40,895 to the inaugural fancy future dance. 326 00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:53,475 I'm glad you don't think making Jeff a Five was a mistake 327 00:14:53,509 --> 00:14:54,576 like everybody else. 328 00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:56,110 I believe in taking risks. 329 00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:59,214 Yeah! Jeff's really cool. 330 00:14:59,248 --> 00:15:00,782 Couldn't help but notice 331 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,484 that Shirley didn't clap with the rest of you 332 00:15:02,518 --> 00:15:04,085 after my performance. 333 00:15:04,119 --> 00:15:05,987 Is she always so different? 334 00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,889 If you talk to me, I can't concentrate on the dance moves. 335 00:15:07,923 --> 00:15:09,724 You don't believe the rumors, do you, Koogler, 336 00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:12,026 that Jeff manipulated his way to the top? 337 00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:14,669 Shirley, I can hear what you're saying. 338 00:15:14,704 --> 00:15:17,465 You're trying to manipulate someone into thinking I'm manipulative. 339 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,234 I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. 340 00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:21,169 No one ever knows what you're talking about 341 00:15:21,204 --> 00:15:22,804 because you never say what you mean. 342 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,318 Do you want to have this conversation, 343 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,807 or do you want to just keep flexing your veiny arms 344 00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,809 and throwing out apples? 345 00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,578 Tranquility is advancement. 346 00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,914 A happy Three is a future Four. 347 00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:35,183 Twos and Threes, you're accepting a life 348 00:15:35,218 --> 00:15:37,519 you don't have to live! 349 00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:42,224 Stand up for yourselves! 350 00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:45,260 Really? 351 00:15:45,294 --> 00:15:46,628 Ugh, fine. 352 00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:48,896 - Give me that. - Hey! 353 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,835 You're all alive! 354 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:57,405 You are all alive! 355 00:15:57,407 --> 00:16:02,076 Look at the mustard on my face, but listen to my words. 356 00:16:02,110 --> 00:16:03,645 You're one of the angriest, most vindictive... 357 00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:04,779 You're the angry one, 358 00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,514 because the rules got changed on you, Winger. 359 00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,236 You can't just be cool and be in charge now. 360 00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:10,252 No, you have to gossip and give out food 361 00:16:10,286 --> 00:16:12,287 - and make people feel guilty. - Okay, yeah. 362 00:16:12,321 --> 00:16:14,822 I bust my ass making a world full of selfish idiots 363 00:16:14,857 --> 00:16:16,090 - remember my name! - Fine. 364 00:16:16,124 --> 00:16:18,293 Call it hard work, but don't tell me the system 365 00:16:18,327 --> 00:16:19,360 measures who's nice. 366 00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:22,063 Actually, it kind of does. 367 00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:29,337 Security, banish them to the Outlands with the rest of the Ones! 368 00:16:29,372 --> 00:16:31,105 - Oh, no! - Ow! 369 00:16:31,139 --> 00:16:33,575 - Okay, okay, okay. - No! No! 370 00:16:33,609 --> 00:16:36,344 Ladies and gentlemen, please put your tray tables 371 00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:39,247 in their party positions... 372 00:16:39,282 --> 00:16:41,183 So sayeth Captain Koogler. 373 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,452 Actually, keep the tray tables where they are, Koogler. 374 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:46,621 The rule of the Fives is over! 375 00:16:46,623 --> 00:16:49,557 Long live the review-lution! 376 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,194 - No! - That comes down? 377 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:55,096 - Okay, okay, all right, all right. - Whoa! 378 00:17:04,707 --> 00:17:07,542 - Happy? - Are you happy? 379 00:17:07,576 --> 00:17:09,656 Look, I knew you couldn't go to that stupid dinner. 380 00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:10,812 That's why I didn't invite you. 381 00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:12,747 It's nice to be invited anyway. 382 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,382 Sure, if you're a control freak. 383 00:17:14,384 --> 00:17:16,184 Oh, and you clearly hate control. 384 00:17:16,219 --> 00:17:18,120 No. 385 00:17:18,154 --> 00:17:20,955 I love it. 386 00:17:20,989 --> 00:17:25,327 I guess it's easy to pretend that you don't when you got it. 387 00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,795 You'd think we'd be better friends 388 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:31,699 because we're both such big fans of the same thing. 389 00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:33,301 You there! Ones! 390 00:17:33,335 --> 00:17:38,240 You are permitted back indoors by decree of Britta, 391 00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,975 the mother of Ones. 392 00:17:41,009 --> 00:17:43,645 And do I hear correctly that as a Five, 393 00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:46,815 you felt you could park in handicap spots? 394 00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:49,884 Well, you see, that's just part of the Koogler style. 395 00:17:49,918 --> 00:17:52,053 It's human crap style. 396 00:17:52,087 --> 00:17:53,455 Rate him! 397 00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,659 Okay, well, that's low. 398 00:18:00,363 --> 00:18:03,998 All Fives must be cleansed of their Five filth 399 00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:06,801 and reduced to oneness. 400 00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,470 Jeff. Hey, Shirley. 401 00:18:08,472 --> 00:18:10,838 I'm not a Five anymore. I'm a one like everyone else. 402 00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,440 I'm like everyone else. 403 00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:13,675 Who's next? 404 00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:15,743 All right, time to pull the plug. 405 00:18:15,778 --> 00:18:17,078 Mm. 406 00:18:17,112 --> 00:18:18,880 Oh, great mother of Ones, 407 00:18:18,914 --> 00:18:20,815 mustard-faced savior, 408 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:24,386 there is still a Five hiding among us that has not been cleansed. 409 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,720 Nonsense. 410 00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:27,989 All Fives were reduced to oneness 411 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,459 in the great purge of about two minutes ago. 412 00:18:30,593 --> 00:18:32,527 This Five cheats. 413 00:18:32,561 --> 00:18:34,262 It never registered, 414 00:18:34,297 --> 00:18:37,699 yet was given a five from outside the system. 415 00:18:39,402 --> 00:18:41,203 Behold... 416 00:18:41,237 --> 00:18:43,238 The MeowMeowBeenz app. 417 00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:45,440 Its beta test ended days ago. 418 00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:49,777 It's now available in the app store... 99 cents. 419 00:18:49,812 --> 00:18:52,180 Five stars. 420 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:56,784 This five lied to us, used us, judged us, 421 00:18:56,819 --> 00:18:59,787 yet exempts itself from judgment. 422 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,392 And I'm pretty sure it's selling our information to spammers 423 00:19:04,427 --> 00:19:06,394 because I am getting a lot more email, 424 00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:10,965 and trust me, my penis needs no enlargement. 425 00:19:10,999 --> 00:19:14,302 So how do you cleanse a Five that's unregistered? 426 00:19:14,337 --> 00:19:17,539 Delete it. 427 00:19:25,214 --> 00:19:27,315 By the way, guys, it's a Saturday. 428 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,317 Um, you're all in school for nothing. 429 00:19:29,352 --> 00:19:30,652 Go home and get some sleep. 430 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,356 No! 431 00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,957 No. Wait. 432 00:19:35,991 --> 00:19:39,594 No, don't go! Where are you going? 433 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:43,598 No. 434 00:19:43,632 --> 00:19:45,066 Attention, Greendale. 435 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,602 I'd like to propose we basically forget everything 436 00:19:47,636 --> 00:19:49,471 that happened over the last few days. 437 00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:51,773 And I don't anticipate a lot of pushback on that. 438 00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:53,208 I think we're all pretty embarrassed. 439 00:19:53,242 --> 00:19:55,210 - Hey, there. - Oh, hey. 440 00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:58,346 So I was thinking about checking out this new restaurant tonight. 441 00:19:58,381 --> 00:20:00,215 Oh, that's sweet, but I can't tonight. 442 00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:02,584 Not even takeout? 443 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,452 We could eat in the study room. 444 00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:06,654 Oh, I think I have time for that. 445 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,491 Jeffrey. 446 00:20:09,525 --> 00:20:10,992 What? 447 00:20:11,026 --> 00:20:13,127 I'm not gonna take it off. 448 00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:15,630 I still got two days left on the rental. 449 00:20:18,909 --> 00:20:21,043 Every once in a while, a film comes along 450 00:20:21,077 --> 00:20:24,490 that takes a serious look at higher education. 451 00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:25,781 This is not one of them. 452 00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:27,516 Gentlemen... 453 00:20:27,551 --> 00:20:29,819 Assume the party. 454 00:20:29,953 --> 00:20:31,554 This summer... 455 00:20:31,588 --> 00:20:33,121 fun has a new name. 456 00:20:33,157 --> 00:20:34,257 - Koogler? - Koogler! 457 00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,558 - Koogler. - Koogler! 458 00:20:35,592 --> 00:20:36,594 Koogler! 459 00:20:36,599 --> 00:20:38,670 Koogler! Koogler! 460 00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,996 Hope you don't mind if I play through. 461 00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:43,699 Hammer Road Pictures invited you to meet the man... 462 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:45,201 the myth... 463 00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:46,669 I'm photocopying my rear end. 464 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:48,271 ...the Koogler. 465 00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:49,305 Koogler. 466 00:20:49,306 --> 00:20:51,174 I guess I have what you might call 467 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,710 an aversion to education. 468 00:20:54,744 --> 00:20:56,446 Do you even have a career plan? 469 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,648 Yeah, uh, does getting laid count? 470 00:20:58,782 --> 00:20:59,882 No! 471 00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:02,665 Mitchell D. Hurwitz is Koogler... 472 00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:03,666 Rated "R." 473 00:21:03,767 --> 00:21:09,751 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com