1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:04,074
Something for the committee to
put on their radar: Insurance.
2
00:00:04,081 --> 00:00:05,621
- What about it?
- School needs some.
3
00:00:05,637 --> 00:00:07,037
I can ask around
on the street.
4
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,477
- What the hell? - Oh, too cool for
street insurance? Must be nice.
5
00:00:10,484 --> 00:00:13,645
My sister wants to know what I'm bringing
to my grandson's birthday party.
6
00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:16,917
I'm sensing an emergency
collage situation.
7
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:20,012
No, I wasn't invited. My son
had a kid three years ago.
8
00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:22,416
I barely get to see him
on major holidays.
9
00:00:22,429 --> 00:00:25,170
I mean, who in the hell
does he think he is?
10
00:00:25,185 --> 00:00:28,198
- You saw your son at his wedding.
- No, that's Furio. That's my gay son.
11
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:29,921
Him I get. Hank's a knob.
12
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:31,523
He doesn't have any
hobbies or interests.
13
00:00:31,535 --> 00:00:34,171
All he does is play that...
what do you call that crap
14
00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,869
with the dungeons
and the dragons?
15
00:00:35,882 --> 00:00:37,592
- Dungeons & dragons?
- That's the crap.
16
00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:38,663
- Ooh.
- I know that game.
17
00:00:38,676 --> 00:00:40,673
- We play Dungeons & Dragons.
- Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:45,394
Guys, let's play D&D to help
Hickey reconnect with his son!
19
00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:47,981
- Huh? - Was everyone's takeaway
from last time that we can use D&D
20
00:00:47,994 --> 00:00:50,820
to reprogram brains? Nobody feels
that we almost caused a suicide?
21
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,273
We prevented one.
22
00:00:52,308 --> 00:00:55,504
Fa...bulous Neil
felt like a nobody,
23
00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:59,137
and thanks to us, he's still out there,
doing this and that in the background.
24
00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:01,130
A satisfying sequel
is difficult to pull off.
25
00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:03,328
Many geniuses have defeated
themselves through hubris,
26
00:01:03,347 --> 00:01:05,875
making this a chance to prove that I'm
better than all of them... I'm in.
27
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,668
All in favor of a game
of Dungeons & Dragons
28
00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:11,242
to reunite Hickey and
his son tomorrow night?
29
00:01:11,282 --> 00:01:12,301
All: Aye!
- [Groans]
30
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:14,093
Well, okay.
[Chuckles]
31
00:01:14,112 --> 00:01:17,565
It's short notice, but, uh,
I think it'll be good for me.
32
00:01:18,210 --> 00:01:21,112
[Epic music]
33
00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:25,146
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
34
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,441
So, dad, I'm just curious.
35
00:01:32,461 --> 00:01:34,712
Um, what is it
about Dungeons & Dragons
36
00:01:34,731 --> 00:01:37,813
that suddenly leapt
out at you at age 60?
37
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:41,579
Um... Dungeons.
It'd be the dungeons.
38
00:01:41,611 --> 00:01:42,931
Let's begin.
39
00:01:42,952 --> 00:01:45,926
A blood-orange sunrise crests
the peaks of rage mountain,
40
00:01:45,945 --> 00:01:48,620
as the eight of you arrive at
the troubled realm of Galindor.
41
00:01:48,633 --> 00:01:50,165
Ahead to the north,
a bridged ravine.
42
00:01:50,188 --> 00:01:52,673
Beyond that, a
mysterious black tower
43
00:01:52,686 --> 00:01:56,239
where, rumor has it, an
evil necromancer dwells.
44
00:01:56,261 --> 00:01:57,993
Your goal: Reach to
the top of the tower
45
00:01:58,006 --> 00:02:01,491
and destroy the necromancer, freeing
the realm from his evil magic.
46
00:02:01,504 --> 00:02:04,314
Oh, that's just what I love
about role-playing games,
47
00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:07,828
is being told
exactly what to do.
48
00:02:07,855 --> 00:02:08,748
Me too.
49
00:02:08,769 --> 00:02:11,316
- You should introduce yourselves.
- I am...
50
00:02:11,338 --> 00:02:13,791
oh, boy. Joseph
Gordon Diehard.
51
00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:14,771
Really.
[Chuckles]
52
00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:16,355
Son of sir Riggs Diehard.
53
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:20,388
Well, I'm sir Riggs Diehard, so I
guess I'm your dad in the game too.
54
00:02:20,414 --> 00:02:22,306
- Oh, my God, so cool.
- Oh, it's nice.
55
00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,411
- Isn't that weird?
- Oh, boy.
56
00:02:24,449 --> 00:02:26,501
Guys, I don't suppose
that this is some sort
57
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,263
of contrived
paint-by-numbers adventure
58
00:02:28,276 --> 00:02:31,142
that's designed to force
an emotional bond
59
00:02:31,155 --> 00:02:34,493
between me and my emotionally
stunted father, is it?
60
00:02:34,506 --> 00:02:37,638
- No way, Jose. - We wouldn't
do that to you, man. What?
61
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:40,104
I got an idea. Why don't we
just sort of reshuffle these...
62
00:02:40,151 --> 00:02:42,491
- Oh. - Oh, um...
- and just redistribute them...
63
00:02:42,504 --> 00:02:44,000
- No, I don't...
- And just mix 'em up a bit.
64
00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:45,522
Is this right, Abed?
Should we...
65
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,025
and here we go.
Hello, everyone.
66
00:02:48,059 --> 00:02:50,619
I am Tristram Steelheart.
67
00:02:50,646 --> 00:02:53,579
I'm a holy cleric with a mace
and a dumb name.
68
00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:55,031
Ouch.
69
00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:59,757
I'm tiny nuggins, a, uh, a thief,
and the rest is gibberish.
70
00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:03,483
Greetings, I am
Fibrosis the Ranger.
71
00:03:03,496 --> 00:03:07,314
I'm Crouton, the half-orc druid.
Druid? Oh, Crouton.
72
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,557
Hector the well endowed?
Again?
73
00:03:09,576 --> 00:03:11,723
You think that's a
weird coincidence?
74
00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:14,036
I'm a troll named
Dingleberry.
75
00:03:14,054 --> 00:03:15,967
That's my mom's
nickname for me.
76
00:03:15,974 --> 00:03:18,014
Well, I'm who Hickey was,
Sir Riggs Diehard.
77
00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:23,099
I am Joseph Gordon,
son of Riggs.
78
00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:29,293
I protect the blade of Diehard, a family
sword whose power knows no equal.
79
00:03:29,322 --> 00:03:33,558
In our clan, the leader carries the
hilt, his eldest heir, the blade,
80
00:03:33,577 --> 00:03:38,224
for we believe man's greatest weapon
against evil is the bond bet...
81
00:03:38,249 --> 00:03:39,589
[Chokes up]
82
00:03:39,605 --> 00:03:41,828
Is the bond between
a father and son.
83
00:03:42,702 --> 00:03:44,020
Aw.
84
00:03:44,563 --> 00:03:45,990
What would you
guys like to do?
85
00:03:46,011 --> 00:03:49,551
We should cross the bridge
and head for the black tower.
86
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,711
- Huzzah? Huzzah?
- Huzzah. - Huzzah.
87
00:03:51,743 --> 00:03:54,064
Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna
head across the bridge, actually.
88
00:03:54,084 --> 00:03:57,457
I mean, what else is out there?
What's South or east or west?
89
00:03:57,484 --> 00:03:58,857
How about it, Aziz?
90
00:03:58,882 --> 00:04:01,350
If I walk too far South, do I
fall off your graph paper there?
91
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,859
You can head South.
92
00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:06,094
I've generated some details
about the surrounding area.
93
00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:09,381
You know, for God's sakes,
Hank, it's been five seconds.
94
00:04:09,401 --> 00:04:12,072
- Can you not do this?
- Hey, you tell me.
95
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,541
- Are we losing?
- No.
96
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,968
It's not a competition.
97
00:04:14,996 --> 00:04:17,276
- The only winner is fun.
- Mmhmm.
98
00:04:17,292 --> 00:04:23,097
We're having fun! I go to
Tristram, and I'm laughing,
99
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:27,512
and I pick him up, and I carry
him to the bridge. It's fun!
100
00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:28,939
Hector the well endowed
is trying to lift you.
101
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,464
I cast Torvin's
flesh of fire.
102
00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:33,595
[Fire whooshes]
103
00:04:34,156 --> 00:04:35,769
Tristram murmurs
an incantation.
104
00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:41,133
His body becomes wreathed in white-hot
flame, burning Hector for...
105
00:04:41,152 --> 00:04:42,147
Six damage.
106
00:04:42,169 --> 00:04:44,709
- Hey! - Well, Hector,
that's called self-defense.
107
00:04:44,731 --> 00:04:47,371
Tristram's flesh of fire spell
has caught the bridge on fire.
108
00:04:47,384 --> 00:04:50,091
The rope supports in the middle
snap, causing the bridge to twist.
109
00:04:50,109 --> 00:04:52,169
I'm rolling dexterity checks
to see if you all hold on.
110
00:04:52,185 --> 00:04:55,454
- Oh! - Abed, considering
the bigger picture,
111
00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:57,556
you think it might be possible
you miscalculated
112
00:04:57,577 --> 00:04:59,638
the strength of
the bridge, hmm?
113
00:04:59,658 --> 00:05:02,328
Good point. It would've been constructed
in the third age by goblins,
114
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,409
and they used primitive
iron anchors.
115
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,833
The ropes are yanked
from the rocky slopes
116
00:05:05,853 --> 00:05:08,173
on both sides, and you all
plummet into the ravine below.
117
00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:09,621
Abed!
[All protesting]
118
00:05:09,848 --> 00:05:11,542
- Oh!
- Abed!
119
00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:14,182
You plunge into the icy,
raging waters of skull river.
120
00:05:14,217 --> 00:05:15,530
- [Gasps]
- Ow!
121
00:05:15,546 --> 00:05:17,633
- You know, what's your problem?
- What's your problem?
122
00:05:17,646 --> 00:05:19,753
You didn't invite me to
Sebastian's birthday.
123
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,071
- Ah, ha, ha, I knew it!
- Who hoards a man's grandson?
124
00:05:22,085 --> 00:05:24,457
He's not your grandson.
He's my son.
125
00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:28,841
And I didn't invite you to the birthday
party 'cause I wanted to enjoy it.
126
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,707
You know, fathers
and sons,
127
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,907
there is a lot of power
between them.
128
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,700
- Yeah...
- Stop it.
129
00:05:36,726 --> 00:05:40,768
And I spent a long time
letting that power
130
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:43,106
push me away from my
dad, and I regret it.
131
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:45,401
So what's ever
between you guys
132
00:05:45,422 --> 00:05:48,029
will only get fixed
when you're together.
133
00:05:48,049 --> 00:05:50,043
- They're not together.
- Abed, you're not helping.
134
00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,610
I'd be a pretty bad
dungeon master if I was.
135
00:05:51,646 --> 00:05:52,811
Jeff, Hickey, Annie,
and Shirley,
136
00:05:52,817 --> 00:05:55,498
you've been washed down the left fork of
the skull river, the others to the right.
137
00:05:55,531 --> 00:05:57,103
[Water sloshes] [Gasping]
138
00:05:57,118 --> 00:05:58,552
Father!
139
00:05:58,573 --> 00:05:59,988
If you're going to
continue, I need Hank,
140
00:06:00,008 --> 00:06:02,442
Britta, Chang, and Dean Pelton
to go into a different room.
141
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,316
Yeah, we're not
going to continue.
142
00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:07,142
Thank you very much, guys.
This was just awesome.
143
00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:09,501
Yeah, wait, wait, wait. I'll
play your dragon game with you.
144
00:06:09,517 --> 00:06:11,133
But let's make it interesting.
145
00:06:11,152 --> 00:06:13,932
If I kill the necrophile
before you do,
146
00:06:13,954 --> 00:06:15,894
I come to my
grandson's birthday.
147
00:06:15,923 --> 00:06:17,776
We'll settle it like men.
148
00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:20,794
Or whatever you call
the guys that play this.
149
00:06:20,825 --> 00:06:22,228
Okay.
150
00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:26,378
But if I kill
the necromancer
151
00:06:26,397 --> 00:06:28,131
before you do,
152
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:31,519
then you don't go to Christmas or
Thanksgiving at aunt Rachel's.
153
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:35,405
- You don't even go to that.
- Yeah, but I will if you don't.
154
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,367
- Okay, fine.
- Okay.
155
00:06:38,389 --> 00:06:39,889
Let the real game begin.
156
00:06:39,904 --> 00:06:42,872
[Dramatic music]
157
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:45,241
♪ ♪
158
00:06:48,813 --> 00:06:51,988
I will find you!
159
00:06:55,512 --> 00:06:58,328
Well, I'm assuming you
guys can help me beat him,
160
00:06:58,341 --> 00:07:02,358
because if we lose, I'm gonna
punch each of you in the heart.
161
00:07:06,173 --> 00:07:09,691
You awaken on a muddy riverbank,
surrounded by treacherous, God-forsaken,
162
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:11,344
non-zipline vacation jungle.
163
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:14,409
I build a fire and construct
a crude wooden rack
164
00:07:14,422 --> 00:07:16,831
to dry my boots and
oversized codpiece.
165
00:07:16,851 --> 00:07:18,413
All right, and I can
make some s'mores
166
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:21,228
out of horse meat and
s'more horse meat.
167
00:07:21,254 --> 00:07:23,556
Build a fire? Horse s'mores?
Screw this.
168
00:07:23,587 --> 00:07:25,747
The river runs east.
I head west.
169
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,958
- Tiny Nuggins scampers into the jungle.
- Hey, pal, I didn't scamper
170
00:07:28,971 --> 00:07:31,662
in the jungles of Nicaragua,
and I'm not gonna do it now.
171
00:07:31,681 --> 00:07:33,364
Wait, come back!
I follow him.
172
00:07:33,397 --> 00:07:36,719
- Me too. - Tiny Nuggins, if we
rest, we'll regain our strength.
173
00:07:36,725 --> 00:07:38,306
And lose my family.
174
00:07:38,321 --> 00:07:41,099
I'll imaginary sleep
when I'm imaginary dead.
175
00:07:41,118 --> 00:07:44,335
Through the brush in the distance, you
notice a patrol of half a dozen hobgoblins.
176
00:07:44,369 --> 00:07:45,502
[Hobgoblin growls] Hobgoblins?
177
00:07:45,522 --> 00:07:48,055
Larger, stronger, and worth more
in scrabble than regular goblins.
178
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:50,077
- Everybody, get down.
- I punch him in the heart.
179
00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:52,458
- What? - Well, I punch him in
the heart, and I keep running.
180
00:07:52,464 --> 00:07:54,954
There are no women with
them, are there? I got class.
181
00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:56,872
You charge toward them,
alerting them to your presence,
182
00:07:56,892 --> 00:07:59,222
and you attack the nearest
one in the chest.
183
00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:01,005
- You miss and fall down.
- What?
184
00:08:01,025 --> 00:08:03,432
- Oh. - The hobgoblins are heading
toward Nuggins with Spears.
185
00:08:03,468 --> 00:08:06,805
Oh, no! Uh, I cast
entangle on them.
186
00:08:06,824 --> 00:08:10,861
Crouton the druid waves her arms,
causing grass, vines, and branches
187
00:08:10,895 --> 00:08:12,879
to entangle the
limbs of...
188
00:08:12,899 --> 00:08:13,717
[Hobgoblins groan]
189
00:08:13,751 --> 00:08:14,817
Four hobgoblins.
190
00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:15,853
[Squeals]
191
00:08:15,893 --> 00:08:18,546
The two free hobgoblins
fire arrows at Crouton.
192
00:08:18,573 --> 00:08:20,360
- One pierces her shoulder...
- [Arrow thwacks] Oh!
193
00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:21,831
- The other her chest.
- Ow!
194
00:08:21,871 --> 00:08:23,403
I fire an arrow at them.
195
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,330
[Arrow whooshes]
196
00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:25,557
Hit.
197
00:08:26,474 --> 00:08:28,601
Ah, these hobgoblins
don't like their odds.
198
00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:29,656
They bolt into the jungle.
199
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,203
- Yeah, you better run.
- Yes.
200
00:08:31,225 --> 00:08:34,785
Go find a name that's not just
another creature's name plus "hob."
201
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,205
Uhoh.
202
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,189
- Crouton?
- I'm here.
203
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,895
She was badly wounded from
her fall in the skull river,
204
00:08:43,928 --> 00:08:45,902
and the arrows
were just too much.
205
00:08:45,922 --> 00:08:47,789
I'm sorry.
[Tragic music]
206
00:08:47,814 --> 00:08:49,407
That's it?
Is she dead?
207
00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:51,167
Yes, that's it, Hickey.
208
00:08:51,188 --> 00:08:53,937
I'm dead.
But it's okay.
209
00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:57,530
I'm on your side.
Which is why I'm dead.
210
00:08:57,550 --> 00:08:59,929
And I may be gone,
but just remember
211
00:08:59,949 --> 00:09:04,330
whenever the wind whispers through
the woods, you got me killed.
212
00:09:05,155 --> 00:09:08,090
♪ ♪
213
00:09:10,187 --> 00:09:11,641
Now, you listen
to me, young man.
214
00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:14,410
I've punched about a
thousand hearts in my life.
215
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,895
I never, never missed.
216
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:19,773
Have you ever been a 3-foot-tall halfling
running through 2-foot-high vines,
217
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,902
trying to punch a
7-foot monster?
218
00:09:22,531 --> 00:09:23,605
I'm gonna go check
on the others.
219
00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:24,862
You might want to
check your character.
220
00:09:24,888 --> 00:09:26,882
Or just kind of generally take
this game seriously.
221
00:09:26,903 --> 00:09:28,687
Your son does.
222
00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:34,762
I take a moment of silence to mourn
my fallen comrade, Crouton...
223
00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:37,753
Before rifling through
her belongings.
224
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,879
[Humming]
225
00:09:40,738 --> 00:09:41,750
What news of my father?
226
00:09:41,770 --> 00:09:43,360
You have no way of knowing
where the others are.
227
00:09:43,387 --> 00:09:44,720
- Damn it.
- You're still traveling north
228
00:09:44,746 --> 00:09:46,987
along the narrow cliff edges
of the Hawthorne mountains.
229
00:09:47,006 --> 00:09:48,344
Okay, I'll roll for
any encounters.
230
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,207
I'd like to cast a healing
spell on Fibrosis.
231
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:53,482
Oh. Thank you.
232
00:09:53,497 --> 00:09:56,510
But I-I'm not gonna help you
kick your dad out of your life.
233
00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:58,303
I don't think this
competition is healthy,
234
00:09:58,323 --> 00:10:00,570
and I don't think what you did
back there was cool.
235
00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:04,974
Look, you think I'm the bad guy because I
didn't invite him to my son's birthday.
236
00:10:04,989 --> 00:10:08,843
But you know where he was
for most of my birthdays?
237
00:10:08,866 --> 00:10:12,039
Little place that rhymes
with "not there."
238
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:13,800
Times Square?
239
00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:16,759
The four of you hear
an ominous screeching.
240
00:10:16,772 --> 00:10:21,701
Moving upward into view, three huge,
white arachnids with eagle wings.
241
00:10:21,711 --> 00:10:23,458
Sky spiders.
242
00:10:24,254 --> 00:10:25,694
I draw my sword...
[Sword unsheathes]
243
00:10:25,717 --> 00:10:28,572
And I cry out, "Back,
eight-legged demons!
244
00:10:28,585 --> 00:10:33,185
"I will not scoop you up with a catalogue
and let you outside on this day!"
245
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:35,543
Stay your blade,
Joseph Gordon.
246
00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:38,826
Sky spiders are as frightened
of us as we are of them.
247
00:10:38,841 --> 00:10:40,608
Plus they eat all
the sky mosquitoes.
248
00:10:40,630 --> 00:10:43,017
- Mm. - I cast speak
with monsters,
249
00:10:43,031 --> 00:10:44,964
and I say,
250
00:10:44,989 --> 00:10:46,402
"Hello.
251
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,597
You're looking well."
252
00:10:49,425 --> 00:10:52,234
The lead spider bends four knees
and twitches its hairy ovipositor,
253
00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:57,200
rhythmically secreting and retracting a
giant droplet... or drop... of silk.
254
00:10:57,213 --> 00:10:58,827
- Oh.
- Fibrosis, as a Ranger,
255
00:10:58,847 --> 00:11:01,912
you recognize this as the
arachnid's signal of submission.
256
00:11:01,939 --> 00:11:03,845
Oh. Nice work, Tristram.
257
00:11:03,866 --> 00:11:07,597
Damn, you made that sky
spider your bitch, yo!
258
00:11:10,652 --> 00:11:12,566
You've tracked the
hobgoblins to this shack.
259
00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:14,918
One guard hob-guards the door.
That's what they call guarding.
260
00:11:14,944 --> 00:11:16,678
- Go.
- Sniper arrow on the guard.
261
00:11:16,697 --> 00:11:18,177
It strikes true.
The guard drops.
262
00:11:18,193 --> 00:11:20,394
I move to the doorway.
Detect traps.
263
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:21,749
- None detected.
- I enter.
264
00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:22,697
- Left flank.
- Right!
265
00:11:22,711 --> 00:11:24,018
One hobgoblin, facing east.
266
00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:25,673
- Backstab.
- Double damage.
267
00:11:25,694 --> 00:11:28,202
Critical hit. He's dead. Footsteps
behind the door to the north.
268
00:11:28,222 --> 00:11:29,455
I notch two arrows.
269
00:11:29,475 --> 00:11:31,702
I climb the walls to
get above the door.
270
00:11:31,722 --> 00:11:32,958
Five goblins enter
from the north.
271
00:11:32,977 --> 00:11:34,445
- I fire.
- Both arrows hit.
272
00:11:34,458 --> 00:11:36,378
- Cleave! - You kill
one and wound another.
273
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:38,471
I drop on the last
one and grapple.
274
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:41,173
- You got ahold of him.
- This one is for Crouton.
275
00:11:41,194 --> 00:11:42,947
With his dying
breath, he utters...
276
00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:46,789
[Creepy voice] "The dark lord
will kill you all."
277
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:48,864
Wait, these
things can talk?
278
00:11:48,883 --> 00:11:51,703
I want two taken alive.
I want to try something.
279
00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:52,946
Hi.
280
00:11:52,971 --> 00:11:54,111
[Chuckles]
281
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:55,736
I'm tiny Nuggins.
282
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,983
I'm gonna put my dagger down
right here, so we can just talk.
283
00:11:59,006 --> 00:11:59,973
[Grunts]
284
00:12:00,017 --> 00:12:01,205
Human trash.
285
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,789
Yeah, look, I'm gonna
give it to you straight.
286
00:12:03,816 --> 00:12:07,576
We're looking for a necromancer. We
don't need two goblins to find him.
287
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:11,554
So between you and your friend, who
do you think's the most useful?
288
00:12:12,219 --> 00:12:14,806
- [Grunts]
- Man, your friend sure can talk.
289
00:12:14,826 --> 00:12:17,151
- Liar. He'll never turn.
- Oh, yeah,
290
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,031
because of that famous
goblin loyalty.
291
00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:22,198
I could never drive a wedge between
you and some guy from work.
292
00:12:22,222 --> 00:12:25,155
Uh, I was best man
at that guy's wedding.
293
00:12:25,182 --> 00:12:26,382
Oh?
294
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,693
Your friend says you
just got married.
295
00:12:28,713 --> 00:12:30,906
Congratulations.
Too bad about the food.
296
00:12:30,925 --> 00:12:34,998
I hope your flesh rots in...
wait. What about the food?
297
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:37,536
Oh, I guess he didn't like
your wedding toast.
298
00:12:37,562 --> 00:12:39,009
Golbak said that?
299
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:41,405
Klang doesn't approve
of you and Lisa, Golbak,
300
00:12:41,425 --> 00:12:45,905
and I don't get the sense it's
because of his feelings for you.
301
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:49,941
You know, I think about Lisa, sitting
in that hole in Darktooth canyon
302
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:54,662
with little Framrok and Griknog
rolling about on the wolf pelts.
303
00:12:54,688 --> 00:12:57,835
Come on, between you and me,
which one do you think is yours?
304
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,123
- No!
- [Chuckles]
305
00:13:02,961 --> 00:13:04,561
I know where the tower is.
306
00:13:04,597 --> 00:13:07,532
[Singing in foreign language]
307
00:13:07,566 --> 00:13:09,486
♪ ♪
308
00:13:23,656 --> 00:13:24,755
[Door slams]
309
00:13:24,774 --> 00:13:27,890
The sky spiders have flown you as far
as their complex religion allows.
310
00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:32,234
They set you down and express through
intricate prancing directions to the tower.
311
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:33,175
Yes.
312
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:35,071
♪ ♪
313
00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:39,616
Father, forgive me. I have
traveled so far from you.
314
00:13:39,642 --> 00:13:43,082
How many game days since the
skull river ripped us apart?
315
00:13:43,106 --> 00:13:46,119
How many real hours
since I've gone pee?
316
00:13:46,138 --> 00:13:50,327
We seek this necromancer.
Why? Why?
317
00:13:50,347 --> 00:13:54,065
Our reasons are dreams,
our dreams, dust.
318
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,407
I send word on
wings of sparrows,
319
00:13:58,384 --> 00:14:01,411
in hopes they might find you.
320
00:14:01,434 --> 00:14:04,903
Abed says the odds
are near impossible.
321
00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:06,928
That's enough for me.
322
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,306
♪ ♪
323
00:14:09,669 --> 00:14:13,489
Should you receive this message,
I know of a way to reunite.
324
00:14:13,506 --> 00:14:15,213
According to my
character sheet,
325
00:14:15,232 --> 00:14:18,666
if I rub the blade of our magic
family sword while you rub the hilt,
326
00:14:18,684 --> 00:14:22,657
twin beacons of light will reveal
our locations to each other.
327
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:26,201
Each night, I will think
of you and rub,
328
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:31,125
praying for the night fate
will find us rubbing together.
329
00:14:31,145 --> 00:14:33,374
Your son,
330
00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:35,826
Joseph Gordon Diehard.
331
00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:37,542
♪ ♪
332
00:14:42,827 --> 00:14:44,720
Something strange has happened.
333
00:14:44,749 --> 00:14:46,917
A sparrow lands on Riggs
Diehard's shoulder.
334
00:14:46,931 --> 00:14:49,461
[Bird tweets, wings flutter]
It carries a note.
335
00:14:53,004 --> 00:14:55,205
[Paper rustling]
336
00:14:57,415 --> 00:15:01,200
Abed, I... Rub
my sword's hilt?
337
00:15:01,219 --> 00:15:03,052
A beam of light shoots
out from your location,
338
00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:05,132
as the hilt of Diehard
seeks its blade.
339
00:15:05,156 --> 00:15:08,993
The beam arcs and meets an equal
beam in the woods to the north.
340
00:15:09,014 --> 00:15:12,994
- Is that where the others are?
- Yes, 10 Miles away, same as you.
341
00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:16,888
- So we'll be arriving at the tower...
- At the same time tomorrow morning.
342
00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:20,111
- This began as a race.
- But it may end in war.
343
00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:21,379
[Dramatic music]
344
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:23,146
Does anybody have
a toothpick?
345
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:25,466
I got a piece of popcorn
stuck in my tooth.
346
00:15:25,486 --> 00:15:26,909
You know, it's, like,
right under the gum,
347
00:15:26,929 --> 00:15:28,719
and, you know, I've been
trying, like, for 15 minutes
348
00:15:28,732 --> 00:15:31,494
with, you know, my tooth
and, like, with my tongue
349
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:34,910
and with my finger, and I'm always one
tooth off, and I just can't seem to...
350
00:15:34,929 --> 00:15:37,583
oh, hello, there we go.
Anyway.
351
00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:40,116
But it may end in war.
352
00:15:46,491 --> 00:15:49,560
[Indistinct whispering]
353
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:51,650
Maybe after all we've
been through,
354
00:15:51,670 --> 00:15:54,183
we should just call
this thing off.
355
00:15:54,205 --> 00:15:55,978
What, you think
that's up to us?
356
00:15:55,991 --> 00:15:57,611
You've seen the way
he talks to me.
357
00:15:57,631 --> 00:15:59,638
He doesn't want his own
father in his life.
358
00:15:59,651 --> 00:16:02,731
He'll do anything to win, and
that includes attacking you.
359
00:16:02,757 --> 00:16:05,212
And you best believe
that your little friends
360
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:07,337
in there are drinking up
his kool-aid.
361
00:16:07,364 --> 00:16:10,937
This is a man who thinks of
grandchildren like trophies.
362
00:16:10,957 --> 00:16:12,617
[Spits]
363
00:16:13,169 --> 00:16:15,266
Which is why he'll
play to win.
364
00:16:16,037 --> 00:16:18,155
And why I can't let him.
365
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:20,697
[Inhales]
366
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:21,902
[Gasps]
367
00:16:21,922 --> 00:16:25,702
Rise, brave, sweet
Dingleberry.
368
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,586
Rise.
369
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,965
Both parties have arrived
at the black tower.
370
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:33,900
Hi, guys.
371
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:35,779
- Father.
- Joseph Gordon.
372
00:16:35,785 --> 00:16:37,725
- [Sighs]
- Mm-mm.
373
00:16:37,744 --> 00:16:39,944
We are here, so
Tristram Steelheart,
374
00:16:39,963 --> 00:16:43,071
lord of the sky spiders,
can slay the necromancer.
375
00:16:43,091 --> 00:16:44,867
You guys cool, or are we
gonna have to get red?
376
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:47,353
Tiny Nuggins,
waterboarder of goblins,
377
00:16:47,366 --> 00:16:51,460
will do the slaying, because every man has
the right to hang out with his grandson.
378
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,420
- Too bad you're outnumbered.
- No, they're not.
379
00:16:55,106 --> 00:16:57,066
I'm not part of this.
380
00:16:57,083 --> 00:16:59,993
I'm Joseph Gordon Diehard,
and I am only here
381
00:17:00,006 --> 00:17:01,960
to hug my father,
which I now do.
382
00:17:01,981 --> 00:17:03,292
It's a trick.
383
00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,565
- I'm not letting him hug me.
- I hug my father.
384
00:17:05,584 --> 00:17:08,697
- He has gunpowder in his pants.
- I draw my sword. Stay back!
385
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,370
- I draw an arrow.
- So do I.
386
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,835
- Troll sound!
- Jeff, do you lower your sword?
387
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:13,935
- No!
- Dean, are you...
388
00:17:13,953 --> 00:17:16,723
- I hug my father!
- You're impaled.
389
00:17:16,743 --> 00:17:18,941
[Splat]
[Screams]
390
00:17:19,565 --> 00:17:21,452
[Gasping]
391
00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,071
[Grunting, gasping]
392
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:26,384
[Groans]
393
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:29,108
Oh!
[Splattering]
394
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,894
[Gasps]
[Hawk cries]
395
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,021
[Whispers] Worth it.
396
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:36,293
- Ugh. Good lord.
- Son slayer!
397
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,981
- I attack Jeff!
- Arrow at Chang!
398
00:17:38,021 --> 00:17:40,441
- Arrow at Annie! - I head
for the door of the tower.
399
00:17:40,466 --> 00:17:42,179
So do I!
400
00:17:42,192 --> 00:17:43,910
Taste the blade
of Diehard!
401
00:17:43,936 --> 00:17:45,547
- I run for cover.
- I turn a snake into a rope.
402
00:17:45,553 --> 00:17:47,167
- Fire two arrows at Annie.
- Spear, spear.
403
00:17:47,187 --> 00:17:49,039
- I take the kid. I pop him.
- Three damage.
404
00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:51,382
Lightning bolt,
lightning bolt, lightning bolt.
405
00:17:51,402 --> 00:17:53,529
Cure moderate wounds!
406
00:17:53,547 --> 00:17:55,825
I spray all over them.
407
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,702
I hold Britta's
face in a puddle.
408
00:17:57,722 --> 00:18:00,372
- Seven damage.
- Cleave, cleave, cleave!
409
00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:01,901
I fire two arrows.
410
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:04,068
[Overlapping shouting]
411
00:18:04,212 --> 00:18:07,354
Dingleberry smash!
412
00:18:07,374 --> 00:18:11,062
Plus three, demonic eye look.
413
00:18:11,077 --> 00:18:12,210
And shove it up them!
414
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,783
After that, I put one
right behind the ear.
415
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:16,342
[Overlapping shouting]
416
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:17,406
[Grunts]
417
00:18:17,426 --> 00:18:19,234
Sir Riggs, hand in
your character sheet.
418
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:22,202
[Music swells, swords clanging]
419
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,811
♪ ♪
420
00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:25,599
[Gasps]
421
00:18:25,755 --> 00:18:27,889
[Clang, sizzling]
422
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:28,950
[Screams]
423
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,477
Top floor of the
tower, one door.
424
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:32,085
- I open it.
- I cast flame strike on him.
425
00:18:32,098 --> 00:18:33,345
- You cast that already.
- Mace.
426
00:18:33,374 --> 00:18:34,616
- Okay. Missed.
- Ah.
427
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,022
I hit him with a
throwing dagger.
428
00:18:36,035 --> 00:18:37,629
- You used all your knives.
- Ah, what...
429
00:18:37,651 --> 00:18:39,318
Will one of you
guys take care...
430
00:18:39,331 --> 00:18:41,171
What? You're all dead?
I keep going.
431
00:18:41,184 --> 00:18:43,644
- I follow. - You've reached
the necromancer's workshop.
432
00:18:43,671 --> 00:18:47,026
You see his bed, some bottles of
goop, some other necromancing crap,
433
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,473
but no necromancer.
434
00:18:48,501 --> 00:18:49,847
I search. I search.
435
00:18:49,853 --> 00:18:51,565
Can I search, or are you
gonna stab me in the back?
436
00:18:51,572 --> 00:18:54,092
Hey, I am a thief, not a wuss.
I search too.
437
00:18:54,107 --> 00:18:56,385
Mm-hmm. You find
a secret door.
438
00:18:56,398 --> 00:18:57,756
It's easy because
it's already open.
439
00:18:57,776 --> 00:18:59,664
It leads to a ladder,
which goes straight down
440
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:01,886
to another open door on
the back of the tower.
441
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,166
Ah, man.
442
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,553
Way to go. That's great.
He just got away.
443
00:19:05,572 --> 00:19:09,175
Hey, you can't just say he's gone.
You owe us an ending.
444
00:19:09,784 --> 00:19:11,444
I owe you nothing.
445
00:19:11,466 --> 00:19:13,150
I am a dungeon master.
446
00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:16,023
I create a boundless world,
and I bind it by rules.
447
00:19:16,044 --> 00:19:18,204
Too heavy for a bridge?
It breaks.
448
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,726
Get hit? Take damage.
449
00:19:19,739 --> 00:19:21,206
Spend an hour outside
someone's front door,
450
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:22,674
fighting over who
gets to kill him?
451
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:24,467
He leaves through
the back.
452
00:19:24,486 --> 00:19:25,840
He's out there somewhere.
453
00:19:25,858 --> 00:19:28,038
You might find him, if you
get your crap together.
454
00:19:28,060 --> 00:19:30,520
Hey, guys. Take it from
a bunch of ghosts.
455
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,304
This is no kind of life.
456
00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:34,738
You need fresh air
and frozen yogurt.
457
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:36,204
- It's on me.
- [All gasp]
458
00:19:36,229 --> 00:19:37,936
- Hug it out.
- Oh, see... - Hug it out?
459
00:19:37,962 --> 00:19:39,742
- Gag me. Are you out of your mind?
- Who even uses that phrase?
460
00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,855
All right, I'm climbing down the ladder.
I'm gonna find this guy.
461
00:19:41,868 --> 00:19:43,573
I stay and search
the workshop.
462
00:19:43,587 --> 00:19:45,254
Does he have any stuff
there that can heal me?
463
00:19:45,283 --> 00:19:47,924
- You do find some potions.
- Okay, well, I-I get half of that.
464
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,711
Excuse me, you just
went down the ladder.
465
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:51,874
Well, I can hear you... can I
hear him looting upstairs?
466
00:19:51,903 --> 00:19:53,583
Not if I move
about silently.
467
00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:57,331
Fine. Fine. If I heal you,
can we divide the potions?
468
00:19:57,348 --> 00:19:59,841
Okay. But I decide
who gets what.
469
00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:01,671
All right, fine, but we've
gotta be wary of traps.
470
00:20:01,684 --> 00:20:03,377
I don't have to do a damn
thing that you tell me to do.
471
00:20:03,396 --> 00:20:04,650
- What's going on?
- Shh.
472
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:06,097
- You outta your mind?
- Do you wanna get...
473
00:20:06,126 --> 00:20:07,501
- Oh, you give me a break.
- The necromancer or not?
474
00:20:07,514 --> 00:20:09,596
- I'm so up to here with you.
- Do you want...
475
00:20:09,629 --> 00:20:11,222
[Whispers]
Do they like each other now?
476
00:20:11,246 --> 00:20:14,646
Are you kidding me? They can't
stand being in the same room.
477
00:20:14,659 --> 00:20:17,206
I also don't think they
can handle being apart.
478
00:20:17,225 --> 00:20:23,634
And I think they just found a
way to avoid doing either.
479
00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:29,128
And that's the best most
fathers and sons can do.
480
00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:30,877
[Gasps]
481
00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,924
[Choked up]
You've made me so proud today.
482
00:20:32,954 --> 00:20:34,454
Ugh.
483
00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:36,341
Does anyone know where
we can buy a real sword?
484
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:38,283
Oh, Jeffrey.
[Chuckles]
485
00:20:45,313 --> 00:20:49,270
You're still at the entrance
to the chamber of grief.
486
00:20:50,962 --> 00:20:53,079
Your move, Mr. Tickles.
487
00:20:55,936 --> 00:20:59,809
You successfully pour more tea
into Count Frogula's cup.
488
00:20:59,838 --> 00:21:02,751
That puts it at Hillary
Rodham Kitten.
489
00:21:02,771 --> 00:21:06,003
Okay, you attempt
to pass crumpets.
490
00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:10,063
You fail.
491
00:21:10,078 --> 00:21:11,530
Okay, guys, I'm getting
a little frustrated.
492
00:21:11,543 --> 00:21:14,063
If you'd just take a look at your
inventories, you'll see that...
493
00:21:14,082 --> 00:21:17,322
Abed, are you almost done? I
can't sleep without my stuffies.
494
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:19,321
Fine. Hold on.
495
00:21:20,368 --> 00:21:22,515
Oh, a goblin notices you
and murders you all.
496
00:21:22,534 --> 00:21:24,817
You're dead.
They're all yours.
497
00:21:26,969 --> 00:21:33,969
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther