1
00:00:03,769 --> 00:00:06,504
This is Russell Borchert,
computer genius,
2
00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:08,573
anti-deodorant activist,
and millionaire.
3
00:00:08,607 --> 00:00:11,909
He was rich for having invented
the 9-track cassette,
4
00:00:11,944 --> 00:00:15,313
which the 8-track industry paid
to keep quiet.
5
00:00:15,347 --> 00:00:16,414
He funneled that wealth
6
00:00:16,448 --> 00:00:18,216
into a computer school
called Greendale,
7
00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:20,985
where he obsessively pursued
a new project,
8
00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:23,646
a machine that can process feelings.
9
00:00:24,957 --> 00:00:28,259
He apparently used nothing but gold
to assemble his circuitry,
10
00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:31,162
believing it to be a better conductor
of human emotion.
11
00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:33,731
It was a weird time.
The Bionic Woman won an Emmy.
12
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:37,001
Rumors spread about
his relationship with computers,
13
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:39,137
and one day, he disappeared,
14
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:42,040
hence the legend that he died
of the first computer virus.
15
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The city bought the campus,
and life went on.
16
00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:47,879
His body was never found,
nor was his immense wealth.
17
00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:52,083
Some people said he hid his money
using a portal to another dimension.
18
00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,685
Those people were on LSD.
19
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:57,455
Everyone else said
he had a secret vault in his office.
20
00:00:57,489 --> 00:01:00,091
- Well, where's his office?
- Good question.
21
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We found this confession
written by Greendale's first Dean.
22
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"To protect the student health
and the school's reputation,
23
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"I have sealed off
the computer department
24
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and removed the stairwell
to that entire section."
25
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A section that remains
on this campus somewhere,
26
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,640
its secrets untouched,
27
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including quite possibly
Borchert's millions.
28
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If we found it,
29
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we could buy it from the city
before Subway.
30
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Then I could really go nuts
with this place.
31
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This is the kind of adventure
I usually have to force upon us,
32
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and here it is,
falling into our laps.
33
00:01:27,152 --> 00:01:29,554
We're like the Goonies,
except our story tracks logically
34
00:01:29,588 --> 00:01:31,956
and has a chance of holding up
to objective critical scrutiny.
35
00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:34,726
- Can you please stop that?
- Sorry.
36
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,894
Here are your blueprints.
Sorry it took so long.
37
00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:39,130
You can't fight city hall.
38
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Apparently you can.
That's why it took so long.
39
00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:44,061
Well, I'll be damned.
Would you look at that?
40
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:45,103
It's so clear now.
41
00:01:45,137 --> 00:01:47,405
The entire school
is shaped like a penis.
42
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:48,539
No, that.
43
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:51,409
It says right here that this stairway
leads to sublevel three.
44
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Is that where the teachers' lounge is?
45
00:01:54,546 --> 00:01:56,107
What the hell
does your penis look like?
46
00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:59,038
Obviously a cluster of buildings,
so let's all have a big laugh at the freak.
47
00:01:59,785 --> 00:02:01,386
♪ Give me some rope ♪
48
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:02,987
♪ Tie me to dream ♪
49
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,455
♪ Give me the hope ♪
50
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,157
♪ To run out of steam ♪
51
00:02:06,191 --> 00:02:09,427
♪ Somebody said it can be here ♪
52
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♪ We could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
53
00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:18,569
♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
54
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♪ One by one,
they all just fade away ♪
55
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,844
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:28,212
The missing stairwell
would be in this area.
57
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:30,158
Keep your eyes peeled.
I don't know why, but serial killers
58
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:32,684
and people that hide treasure
always leave weird little clues.
59
00:02:32,718 --> 00:02:33,751
Check it out.
60
00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:34,919
Look at the bottle held
by the school's
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first and least acceptable mascot,
Big Chief Drunky.
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X marks the spot, baby.
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00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:44,062
Maybe you shouldn't be... Okay.
64
00:02:46,465 --> 00:02:48,766
- Shirley, will you lock the door?
- Okay.
65
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:01,679
There you go.
66
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:03,581
It's just a bunch of wires.
67
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Exactly what they want us to think.
68
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Oh, my God.
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00:03:09,788 --> 00:03:11,990
Wait, wait, wait.
70
00:03:12,024 --> 00:03:15,927
The sparks may be spelling out
the next clue.
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00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:25,236
Is Duncan okay?
72
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,671
He'll live,
73
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but his food's gonna taste
like burnt aluminum for a while.
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00:03:29,641 --> 00:03:31,042
It's pronounced "al-u-minium."
75
00:03:31,076 --> 00:03:34,412
- See, he's fine.
- Okay, guys, stop it now.
76
00:03:34,446 --> 00:03:38,182
Nobody wants to admit its over,
but come on.
77
00:03:38,217 --> 00:03:40,585
Oh, look, it's Jeff Winger, fun police,
78
00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:44,522
here to pull over our smiles
'cause our mouths have tinted windows.
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00:03:44,556 --> 00:03:45,957
Britta and I are getting married.
80
00:03:45,991 --> 00:03:47,325
- What?
- Married?
81
00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:49,694
Well, you're gonna need
way more doves than this.
82
00:03:49,728 --> 00:03:52,797
What does this look like,
an hour-long episode of The Office?
83
00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:55,700
There's pick-axing
and electric zapping.
84
00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:58,970
Don't even acknowledge it.
We are not acknowledging this.
85
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You guys are ridiculous together.
86
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We're ridiculous?
What do you call this?
87
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:07,045
- Secret trapdoor!
- Booyah.
88
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:13,117
Who's got rope?
89
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,319
I'm offended by that question.
90
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,138
This is Richie and Carl
from the school board.
91
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,593
That's right. We got names.
92
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Open this door now.
93
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,463
Wait, I know where the keys are.
94
00:04:25,497 --> 00:04:26,731
You hear that?
95
00:04:26,765 --> 00:04:30,101
When we get there,
you're gonna be in big trouble.
96
00:04:30,135 --> 00:04:32,737
Here they are. Here they are.
97
00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:33,838
Which one is it?
98
00:04:33,872 --> 00:04:37,141
Well, it's never the first one,
so we can cancel this one out.
99
00:04:37,176 --> 00:04:38,276
Come on.
100
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:41,646
I guess now this is the first one,
so it should be the next one.
101
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,614
- Oh, damn.
- You know what?
102
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,550
I got it. Get out of the way.
103
00:04:45,584 --> 00:04:47,719
- Richie, be careful.
- Don't worry.
104
00:04:47,753 --> 00:04:49,520
I've been drinking.
105
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,625
Oh, hello. Would you like some tea?
106
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,562
The tea is swell.
107
00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:06,537
- Do you think they...
- Shh.
108
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,039
- I think...
- Shh.
109
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:09,574
- Oh, come on, shh.
- Shh.
110
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:12,276
You know it's just as loud as...
111
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:13,378
Shh.
112
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:19,217
Everybody, shut up!
113
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:24,756
Guys, I think this is
the lost section of Greendale.
114
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:27,158
Nobody's been in here since the '70s.
115
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How do you know?
116
00:05:28,193 --> 00:05:29,527
Because the debate team topic is
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"Who's hotter, Elliot Gould
or Donald Sutherland?"
118
00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,598
Donald Sutherland.
119
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,388
- Scary.
- Oh, relax.
120
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,156
If it's anything
like a regular dungeon,
121
00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,358
it's only as dangerous
as whoever invited you.
122
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:45,627
Abed, if there's killer robots
down here,
123
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,295
you'll tell them
we're on your side, right?
124
00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:50,165
Yes, but we won't know them
from ordinary robots until they kill us.
125
00:05:50,199 --> 00:05:53,101
- So what do we do now?
- Split up.
126
00:05:53,136 --> 00:05:54,469
Leave no '70s reference unturned.
127
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:56,224
This decade's a little out
of my wheelhouse.
128
00:05:56,239 --> 00:05:58,940
Pet rock...
Leave no pet rock unturned.
129
00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:00,442
Here, let me lead.
My light's better.
130
00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:01,843
Your light's better?
131
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You're that insecure that
your light has to be better?
132
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,414
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
133
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Anything in there?
134
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Just spider webs and beanbag chairs.
135
00:06:10,319 --> 00:06:11,486
Oh, don't cry.
136
00:06:11,521 --> 00:06:13,161
The importance
of lumbar support hadn't...
137
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:14,322
It's not that.
138
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:15,891
It's just even if we do save Greendale,
139
00:06:15,925 --> 00:06:18,093
which Greendale will we be saving?
140
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:20,696
First Pierce dies. Then Troy leaves.
141
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:23,732
- Now people are...
- Getting married?
142
00:06:23,766 --> 00:06:27,335
Annie, look, I don't know people,
but I know TV.
143
00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:29,504
When characters feel like
the show they're on is ending,
144
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their instinct is to spin off
into something safer,
145
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:34,042
in Jeff and Britta's case,
something that would last six episodes
146
00:06:34,077 --> 00:06:36,011
and have a lot of bickering
about tweezers and gluten,
147
00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:37,579
starring them
and an equally W.A.S.P.-y
148
00:06:37,613 --> 00:06:39,848
brunette couple with a title
like better with my worse half
149
00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:42,584
or awfully wedded or tying the not,
but "knot" is spelt without a K,
150
00:06:42,618 --> 00:06:45,287
or #CouplePeopleProblems,
and every episode, you get...
151
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,057
- Abed. Abed, stop developing.
- Sorry.
152
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:54,696
The point is, this show, Annie,
it isn't just their show.
153
00:06:54,731 --> 00:06:57,966
This is our show, and it's not over.
154
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,401
And the sooner we find that treasure,
155
00:06:59,435 --> 00:07:01,236
the faster the Jeff-Britta pilot
falls apart.
156
00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:04,272
Got it. Thank you, Abed.
157
00:07:04,307 --> 00:07:06,241
You're welcome.
158
00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:09,544
- I have a girlfriend.
- What?
159
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:10,979
You were about to start a kiss lean.
160
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:14,116
- I was not.
- Fine. Let's go find treasure.
161
00:07:17,453 --> 00:07:19,054
- Did you find anything?
- No.
162
00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:21,156
We've searched every crevice
of this place,
163
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,892
and the only treasures we've found
are this CB radio,
164
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:26,328
these basketball cards
with white people on them,
165
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:29,865
and this little rocket launcher
from some action figure.
166
00:07:31,601 --> 00:07:34,336
Seems like an odd place
for a dead end, though.
167
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,671
Could be a secret door.
168
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,906
Maybe the jukebox is the key to it.
169
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:40,709
Just remember, it's okay if we fail.
170
00:07:40,743 --> 00:07:44,046
- Right, Jeff?
- That's right.
171
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,516
Agh, try every button.
Just try every single button ever.
172
00:07:50,486 --> 00:07:52,654
- Are you all right?
- No!
173
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:55,157
I was dying!
174
00:07:55,191 --> 00:07:57,325
- Try track 127.
- Right.
175
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,729
Because 127 in binary code
would be a palindrome.
176
00:08:00,763 --> 00:08:04,399
Because the song title is "Open the Door"
by The Secret Doors.
177
00:08:08,304 --> 00:08:09,938
- ♪ Open the door ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
178
00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:12,474
- ♪ We got to open the door ♪
- ♪ And the door is opening ♪
179
00:08:12,508 --> 00:08:14,409
♪ You're the playing the song
that opens the door ♪
180
00:08:14,444 --> 00:08:16,845
♪ We recorded this song
for when you open the door ♪
181
00:08:17,295 --> 00:08:21,917
♪ Specially timed to the duration
of the opening process ♪
182
00:08:25,555 --> 00:08:28,023
Borchert's secret lab.
183
00:08:28,057 --> 00:08:30,993
That's the machine Borchert
was working on in the film.
184
00:08:34,797 --> 00:08:38,900
Borchert's gold.
185
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,636
We need to get this upstairs.
186
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:41,870
Save Greendale.
187
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,046
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
188
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,548
You're Russell Borchert, aren't you?
189
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:56,785
Hey, I'm gonna peel off
some band-aids here.
190
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,321
Dennis Hopper is dead,
191
00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:01,456
TV shows give no time
for theme songs anymore,
192
00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:04,860
and Woody Allen did the voice
of a cartoon ant.
193
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:11,933
Jeff!
194
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,804
Sorry, I lose track
of how big I'm getting.
195
00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:17,072
I don't.
196
00:09:18,541 --> 00:09:20,175
You vandalized private property.
197
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:22,110
You nearly destroy the school
198
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,346
when it's finally about
to make a profit?
199
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,614
You guys are the worst,
200
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,450
with your stupid paintballs
and your freeze tags.
201
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:31,086
- Hot lava.
- That was hot lava?
202
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,521
Dumb.
203
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:37,192
Tell us where the others went.
204
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:39,661
Guys, guys.
205
00:09:39,696 --> 00:09:42,197
- What do you want to do?
- What should we do?
206
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:45,400
Well, what can we do?
207
00:09:45,435 --> 00:09:47,235
Okay.
208
00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:50,038
I'm gonna need you guys to stay back
209
00:09:50,073 --> 00:09:52,808
and never tell anyone
about what you saw here today.
210
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:11,126
You're special, Richie.
Your mind is special.
211
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,924
You know it works differently
from other kids' minds.
212
00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:17,299
♪ Richie's a freak,
Richie's a freak ♪
213
00:10:24,474 --> 00:10:26,141
Thank you.
214
00:10:26,175 --> 00:10:27,909
I know where they went.
215
00:10:27,944 --> 00:10:30,545
They climbed out a window to the roof,
hopped on a hang glider,
216
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:33,181
and flew it across town
to that Greek restaurant,
217
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,350
Papa Cristo's?
218
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,420
I robbed your brain. I robbed it.
219
00:10:38,454 --> 00:10:41,556
Hey, guys, we found a hatch in the floor
underneath the vending machine.
220
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:42,891
I think they went down inside it.
221
00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:46,928
Was there a hang glider?
222
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:48,130
You're gonna find out...
223
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:49,798
You're gonna find a hang glider
down there.
224
00:10:49,832 --> 00:10:50,899
That much I know.
225
00:10:50,933 --> 00:10:52,667
So anyway,
I sealed myself up down here
226
00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:55,604
with 50 years of food,
50 years of toilet paper,
227
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,372
and 50 years of cocaine,
228
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,975
which I somehow ran out of
after about 10 years.
229
00:11:00,009 --> 00:11:02,144
Wow, the '80s happened
down here too.
230
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:03,211
Yeah.
231
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,646
Hey, what are you doing with Raquel?
232
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:06,481
Mm-mm, uh-uh.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
233
00:11:06,516 --> 00:11:08,150
Russell, we're on a bit of a deadline,
234
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:10,218
and to put it bluntly,
we need your gold.
235
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:13,321
- Raquel!
- Uh, guys, little help...
236
00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:14,923
She just needs a little more time.
237
00:11:14,958 --> 00:11:18,226
Sir, Raquel has taken
the best years of your life
238
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,561
and a dozen of your not-so-good.
239
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:25,000
If she hasn't given anything back,
it might be time to move on.
240
00:11:25,034 --> 00:11:28,804
Stop.
You guys, what are we doing?
241
00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,839
- Saving Greendale.
- From what?
242
00:11:30,873 --> 00:11:34,977
We were driven down here
by sellouts with crappy values.
243
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:39,548
Since when do human beings decide
which dreams are worthwhile?
244
00:11:39,582 --> 00:11:42,784
Look at him. He's one of us.
245
00:11:42,819 --> 00:11:45,387
We have to respect each other enough
246
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:50,792
to let each other want
what we want,
247
00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:54,997
no matter how transparently
self-destructive
248
00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:59,801
or empty our desires may be.
249
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,671
If it was money
that you guys wanted,
250
00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:03,739
why didn't you say so?
251
00:12:03,773 --> 00:12:06,908
You can just have my leftover cash
that's under the desk over there.
252
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,643
Yeah, I don't think
it's worth much up there.
253
00:12:08,678 --> 00:12:11,413
- Those are Gerald Ford dollars.
- How many?
254
00:12:11,447 --> 00:12:12,681
Eh, couple of million.
255
00:12:12,715 --> 00:12:15,183
Back in the '70s,
that was worth millions.
256
00:12:15,218 --> 00:12:16,551
Hey, I've got an idea.
257
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:20,922
How about you people leave me alone
and I hereby grant that to Greendale?
258
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,957
What?
259
00:12:24,127 --> 00:12:26,194
Glad to hear it.
260
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:31,233
Get back. This pickle's a magnet.
261
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,968
- Whoa, whoa.
- I'll wipe her out, man.
262
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,323
Don't you dare use that pickle...
263
00:12:37,774 --> 00:12:39,775
Get over there with them.
264
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:41,743
You have no legal claim
to that money.
265
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,879
Take it up with Subway
in about an hour
266
00:12:43,913 --> 00:12:45,814
after close of escrow.
267
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,816
Hey, Chang,
you've become a bad guy again?
268
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,118
There's a lot more to it
than that, Britta.
269
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:55,190
Wait, I'm not wearing a mask?
270
00:12:55,224 --> 00:12:57,726
Okay, there's no more to it.
I think I'm just mentally ill.
271
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,262
All right, just stay back.
All right?
272
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:03,983
No, don't.
273
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:06,366
No!
274
00:13:06,393 --> 00:13:08,157
- ♪ Close the door ♪
- ♪ Yeah, sweet mama ♪
275
00:13:08,192 --> 00:13:10,570
- ♪ We got to close the door ♪
- ♪ The door is closing ♪
276
00:13:10,868 --> 00:13:13,875
- ♪ Faster than it opens ♪
- ♪ For dramatic effect ♪
277
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:15,844
- Hey!
- Hang in there.
278
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,246
Raquel is the main operating system.
279
00:13:18,281 --> 00:13:20,315
She controls the door, the lights,
280
00:13:20,349 --> 00:13:22,718
the shower probably, everything,
281
00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:25,387
and now she's dead.
282
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:30,358
So we're trapped in here forever.
283
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,828
Or just until we run out
of food and water.
284
00:13:32,862 --> 00:13:34,396
At least we'll have each other.
285
00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:36,477
Till death do us part.
286
00:13:37,261 --> 00:13:39,523
You know what?
You guys can have my food and water.
287
00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:43,975
Come on, Raquel. Come on.
288
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:46,044
Baby. Come on.
289
00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:50,081
Oh, thank God.
290
00:13:50,116 --> 00:13:52,183
Her emotional components
are still on-line.
291
00:13:52,218 --> 00:13:53,418
Emotional components?
292
00:13:53,452 --> 00:13:57,889
I have accomplished things down here
you couldn't even possibly imagine.
293
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:01,826
Here, let me show you.
294
00:14:14,373 --> 00:14:17,920
Ah, right there! That was it.
That was it. Did you see it?
295
00:14:19,745 --> 00:14:23,315
Don't you see?
This computer responds to feelings.
296
00:14:23,349 --> 00:14:26,618
When I started Greendale,
it was for ordinary people
297
00:14:26,652 --> 00:14:28,320
to be able to access technology.
298
00:14:28,354 --> 00:14:30,388
Wait, you started Greendale.
299
00:14:30,423 --> 00:14:32,224
Do you have that in writing anywhere?
300
00:14:32,258 --> 00:14:33,325
I don't know.
301
00:14:33,359 --> 00:14:34,826
Somewhere with all that crap
over there.
302
00:14:34,861 --> 00:14:36,761
But without an emotional component,
303
00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:39,297
computers would strip us
of all humanity
304
00:14:39,332 --> 00:14:43,135
and create a society
with emotionless eggheads at the top
305
00:14:43,169 --> 00:14:45,036
and idiots with feelings
at the bottom,
306
00:14:45,071 --> 00:14:48,032
and I refuse to let that happen,
and that's why I've spent...
307
00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:50,150
What? What is that?
308
00:14:50,185 --> 00:14:52,210
It's a video of a kitten.
309
00:14:52,245 --> 00:14:54,479
And why are those people
arguing about it?
310
00:14:54,513 --> 00:14:57,148
- And what's that?
- That's an emoticon.
311
00:14:57,183 --> 00:14:58,750
That person wants
to indicate happiness
312
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,118
but can't convey it with language,
313
00:15:00,152 --> 00:15:02,454
so they misuse punctuation
to form a smile.
314
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,325
That is so...
315
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,660
stupid.
316
00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:11,363
Only an idiot would think of this.
317
00:15:11,397 --> 00:15:14,733
Idiots won,
318
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:17,235
which means my work down here
is done.
319
00:15:17,270 --> 00:15:19,738
Good, because according
to what I'm seeing,
320
00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:21,873
if we can get you up there
right now,
321
00:15:21,908 --> 00:15:23,842
Subway won't be buying
this school.
322
00:15:23,876 --> 00:15:25,877
- What?
- What?
323
00:15:25,912 --> 00:15:29,414
Uh, yeah, but it's gonna take
a few hours to get that door open,
324
00:15:29,448 --> 00:15:31,716
because Raquel's logic circuits...
325
00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:33,151
bleh, not good.
326
00:15:33,186 --> 00:15:34,586
You said her emotional components work.
327
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,087
Well, in theory,
328
00:15:36,122 --> 00:15:39,758
a blast of human passion
could shock the mainframe
329
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:41,092
into a cold start,
330
00:15:41,127 --> 00:15:43,295
but that's only if somebody
in this room
331
00:15:43,329 --> 00:15:46,565
has feelings stronger than
I get when I rub my nipples,
332
00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:48,667
so good luck with that, folks.
333
00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:50,335
Give me that.
334
00:15:50,369 --> 00:15:52,571
Everybody over there.
Turn around.
335
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,739
Turn around now.
336
00:15:57,243 --> 00:15:59,555
You're here to save me, aren't you?
337
00:16:00,613 --> 00:16:04,382
Let's get out of here
and never look back.
338
00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:06,051
Jeff, in case you ever have
to remember me,
339
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:08,045
can I give you some options
for voice-over quotes?
340
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,988
Shut up, Abed.
341
00:16:10,022 --> 00:16:11,990
- Milady.
- Milord.
342
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:21,900
What did you do?
343
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:24,236
Don't worry about it. Let's go.
344
00:16:29,675 --> 00:16:32,043
The city of Greendale is proud
345
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:35,213
to be selling the school
of Greendale to Subway.
346
00:16:35,248 --> 00:16:37,582
This brings to an end several years
347
00:16:37,617 --> 00:16:41,920
of horrible management
by Dean Craig Isidore Pelton.
348
00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:45,857
Not to throw anyone under the bus,
but he'd be the one.
349
00:16:45,892 --> 00:16:50,195
And by my watch,
it is about time to sign these documents
350
00:16:50,229 --> 00:16:51,963
and make it official.
351
00:16:51,998 --> 00:16:53,698
Objection!
352
00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:54,900
I teach law at Greendale,
353
00:16:54,934 --> 00:16:58,103
so believe me,
I don't know much about law,
354
00:16:58,137 --> 00:17:00,906
but I do know a contract
violation when I see one.
355
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:03,275
This is a legitimate transaction
356
00:17:03,309 --> 00:17:05,944
where a city is selling a school
to a restaurant.
357
00:17:05,978 --> 00:17:08,313
It happens somewhere every day.
358
00:17:08,347 --> 00:17:11,183
Oh, the city can sell
the school all it wants,
359
00:17:11,217 --> 00:17:13,718
but according to his contract
with the city,
360
00:17:13,753 --> 00:17:17,989
the school's original founder
retains the privilege of consultation
361
00:17:18,024 --> 00:17:21,092
on all future scholastic endeavors
taking place here.
362
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,728
So Subway Sandwich University,
363
00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:27,833
meet your new Vice Dean,
Russell Borchert.
364
00:17:29,268 --> 00:17:30,802
Oh.
365
00:17:38,878 --> 00:17:41,546
Hi, I guess we're gonna be partners.
366
00:17:41,581 --> 00:17:43,615
I understand there's some internet
367
00:17:43,649 --> 00:17:46,418
where I can make
my inner thoughts public.
368
00:17:46,452 --> 00:17:47,732
It seems like Greendale the city
369
00:17:47,753 --> 00:17:49,788
and Greendale the school
have some stuff to sort out,
370
00:17:49,822 --> 00:17:52,324
and Subway doesn't...
doesn't do conflict.
371
00:17:52,358 --> 00:17:54,426
We do good food at good prices.
372
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:58,296
We are but simple sandwich artists
373
00:17:58,331 --> 00:18:00,765
who want the world to eat fresh.
374
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:01,900
Eat fresh!
375
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:04,736
Subway, ho!
376
00:18:09,775 --> 00:18:11,343
Did we just save Greendale?
377
00:18:11,377 --> 00:18:15,847
- Did we just save Greendale?
- No, no, you did not.
378
00:18:15,881 --> 00:18:19,284
You moved dirt
around Greendale's grave.
379
00:18:19,318 --> 00:18:22,988
Your school is still bankrupt,
it is still unmarketable,
380
00:18:23,022 --> 00:18:25,056
and it is still
on the permanent chopping block
381
00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:28,994
of anyone who has any say
in its future.
382
00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:30,095
Yeah?
383
00:18:30,129 --> 00:18:33,598
Well, around here,
we call that Wednesday.
384
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,740
♪ He wakes up in the morning ♪
385
00:18:45,912 --> 00:18:48,713
♪ Never changes a thing ♪
386
00:18:48,748 --> 00:18:50,982
Hey, after I was electrocuted,
387
00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:53,118
didn't you two say
you were gonna get married?
388
00:18:53,152 --> 00:18:55,387
Doesn't electrocuted
technically mean killed?
389
00:18:55,421 --> 00:18:57,289
Do you always have
to correct people like that?
390
00:18:57,323 --> 00:18:58,963
Do you always have
to police correcting?
391
00:18:58,991 --> 00:19:00,225
That's it. The marriage is off.
392
00:19:00,259 --> 00:19:01,739
I think you mean the wedding is off.
393
00:19:01,761 --> 00:19:02,794
- Yeah!
- Hey, hey.
394
00:19:02,828 --> 00:19:03,862
Hey, I got to say,
395
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:05,997
you held up well
under that interrogation.
396
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:10,268
I'm gonna tell you something
that I'd like to stay between us.
397
00:19:10,303 --> 00:19:11,536
Oh.
398
00:19:11,571 --> 00:19:15,440
I was thinking about a hang glider.
399
00:19:15,474 --> 00:19:17,709
None of this conflict truly matters.
400
00:19:17,743 --> 00:19:20,879
The only owners of this land
are the Arapaho.
401
00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:27,485
Would it offend you if I asked you
to train me in the use of certain powers?
402
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,055
Sorry, Carl. You deserve better.
403
00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:32,023
Chang, you get it.
404
00:19:32,058 --> 00:19:34,392
How would you like a job
on the school board?
405
00:19:34,427 --> 00:19:35,427
Okay.
406
00:19:35,428 --> 00:19:39,264
Your first job is to deliver this
407
00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:40,665
to the city bursar's office.
408
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,334
On it.
409
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:46,805
Hi, yes, I'd like to replace
all my teeth with diamonds.
410
00:19:46,839 --> 00:19:49,207
We live to fight another day.
411
00:19:49,242 --> 00:19:51,142
Speaking of days,
I never got a chance to wish you
412
00:19:51,177 --> 00:19:53,979
a happy birthday
or Halloween or Christmas
413
00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:55,747
or any specific calendar event.
414
00:19:55,781 --> 00:19:58,283
- Well, maybe next year.
- Definitely.
415
00:19:58,317 --> 00:20:00,585
We'll definitely be back next year.
416
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:04,356
If not, it'll be because an asteroid
has destroyed all human civilization,
417
00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:06,358
and that's canon.
418
00:20:06,392 --> 00:20:08,793
What? What are you...
419
00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:10,228
Hmm? Nothing.
420
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:16,468
__
421
00:20:26,746 --> 00:20:32,517
♪ Lights down, you up and die ♪
422
00:20:36,062 --> 00:20:37,502
Am I thinking what you're thinking?
423
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:40,899
__
424
00:20:41,768 --> 00:20:43,728
Penny for your thoughts.
425
00:20:48,542 --> 00:20:49,991
__
426
00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:52,632
Intensive Karen.
427
00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:54,037
__
428
00:20:54,072 --> 00:20:55,347
Mr. Egypt.
429
00:20:55,469 --> 00:20:57,241
__
430
00:20:57,546 --> 00:20:58,653
Celebrity beat-off.
431
00:20:58,654 --> 00:20:59,840
__
432
00:21:00,153 --> 00:21:01,339
Captain Cook.
433
00:21:02,307 --> 00:21:03,056
__
434
00:21:03,091 --> 00:21:04,331
__
435
00:21:04,366 --> 00:21:05,379
__
436
00:21:05,414 --> 00:21:07,387
__
437
00:21:07,588 --> 00:21:13,478
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com