1 00:00:03,623 --> 00:00:05,529 Mnh! How can my babies be early?! 2 00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:07,469 I've never been early to anything! 3 00:00:07,557 --> 00:00:09,298 Maybe they're not mine! 4 00:00:09,386 --> 00:00:11,055 I've always been faithful to you! 5 00:00:12,524 --> 00:00:13,621 Push, damn it! 6 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,777 I'm not losing another baby today. 7 00:00:16,987 --> 00:00:18,055 Cardiac arrest. 8 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,172 Crash cart! 9 00:00:19,260 --> 00:00:20,815 The shock could kill the baby! 10 00:00:21,550 --> 00:00:23,210 That's something I'll just have to live with. 11 00:00:23,297 --> 00:00:24,832 Maybe we could turn off the TV? 12 00:00:24,926 --> 00:00:26,324 Clear! 13 00:00:27,032 --> 00:00:29,071 Well, folks, I'm afraid I have some bad news. 14 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,045 Oh, my God, no. 15 00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:31,194 N-No, not that bad. 16 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:33,201 I'm sorry. I did not think that through. 17 00:00:33,289 --> 00:00:34,967 No, you're not giving birth today. 18 00:00:35,055 --> 00:00:37,280 You've had false contractions, known as Braxton Hicks. 19 00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:38,272 It's very common. 20 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,085 Uh, so what does that mean timing-wise? 21 00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:41,374 It's no indication. 22 00:00:41,462 --> 00:00:42,633 It could be five weeks from now, 23 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,280 could be five hours from now. 24 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,860 I suggest you and your husband go home, 25 00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:47,601 get some sleep while you still can. 26 00:00:47,689 --> 00:00:49,875 Oh, we're not married. We're just lovers. 27 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,178 Ugh! Yuck. 28 00:00:51,315 --> 00:00:52,498 She hates that word. 29 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,669 Grosses me out, too, 30 00:00:53,757 --> 00:00:56,125 and I spend a lot of my time covered in afterbirth. 31 00:00:59,607 --> 00:01:01,222 Everything okay? 32 00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,180 Um... that was weird. 33 00:01:03,268 --> 00:01:05,460 Those little people with the full-size baby? 34 00:01:05,623 --> 00:01:08,382 No, when the doctor called you my husband. 35 00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:10,547 Well, people are gonna assume... 36 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:13,664 No, it... it was weird because I... 37 00:01:13,752 --> 00:01:14,773 liked it. 38 00:01:14,861 --> 00:01:17,062 Seriously? Because I proposed, like, six times. 39 00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:18,197 I know. I just... 40 00:01:18,243 --> 00:01:20,115 It seemed so old-fashioned at the time, 41 00:01:20,203 --> 00:01:22,937 but... when I thought that the babies were coming, 42 00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:24,137 I-I... 43 00:01:24,769 --> 00:01:26,761 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 44 00:01:30,727 --> 00:01:32,322 I'm gonna need a little help here. 45 00:01:32,574 --> 00:01:33,688 Okay. 46 00:01:33,972 --> 00:01:35,307 Okay, we're good. 47 00:01:36,423 --> 00:01:39,516 Dylan Stardust Marshall, will you... 48 00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:41,139 Oh! Going over. Okay. Okay. 49 00:01:41,227 --> 00:01:42,529 I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay. 50 00:01:44,085 --> 00:01:45,349 Will you marry me? 51 00:01:45,461 --> 00:01:46,475 Oh, my God. 52 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,852 This is exactly how I imagined it. 53 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:50,727 Captions by VITAC... 54 00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:53,001 Sync corrections by srjanapala 55 00:01:57,413 --> 00:01:59,330 *MODERN FAMILY* Season 10 Episode 20 56 00:01:59,418 --> 00:02:00,922 *MODERN FAMILY* Episode Title: "Can't Elope" 57 00:02:02,337 --> 00:02:03,469 I can't get in! 58 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,914 Damn it, Cam! We need those tickets! 59 00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:06,290 - Come on, refresh. - I am! 60 00:02:06,378 --> 00:02:08,477 - Refresh like your life depends on it! - I am! 61 00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:10,327 Tonight is the L.A. premiere 62 00:02:10,415 --> 00:02:12,585 of "Sophie's Choice: The Musical." 63 00:02:12,673 --> 00:02:14,367 And it sold out in seconds, 64 00:02:14,455 --> 00:02:17,218 but the theater reserved a few amazing house seats 65 00:02:17,306 --> 00:02:18,296 for an online lottery. 66 00:02:18,384 --> 00:02:19,782 And there's a rumor. Meryl Streep is 67 00:02:19,869 --> 00:02:21,345 going to be in the audience. 68 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:22,760 - Oh, my God. - You have to feel for that 69 00:02:22,847 --> 00:02:24,275 poor actress playing Sophie. 70 00:02:24,363 --> 00:02:26,912 It'd be like me sewing costumes in front of Bob Mackie. 71 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,728 And the award for the gayest thing ever said goes to... 72 00:02:30,604 --> 00:02:31,632 - I'm in! - You are?! 73 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:32,611 We have seats! Oh, my God! 74 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:33,378 Oh, oh! 75 00:02:33,466 --> 00:02:34,888 - Focus, focus. - Okay, all right. 76 00:02:34,976 --> 00:02:36,524 Okay, it's one of those ticking clock things. 77 00:02:36,611 --> 00:02:38,587 That's fine. We just need my... credit card. 78 00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,252 Where's my wallet? Where... Where's my wall... 79 00:02:40,339 --> 00:02:41,844 - Where's my wallet?! - Seriously? Again? 80 00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:43,346 Cam, you have to leave it in one place! 81 00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:44,492 I told you a thousand times! 82 00:02:44,579 --> 00:02:45,711 Really? Now? 83 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,501 Okay, just use your credit card. 84 00:02:47,589 --> 00:02:48,636 That's weird. 85 00:02:48,724 --> 00:02:51,095 Okay. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick! 86 00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:53,540 - Here... use mine. - Oh! Thank you, sweetie. 87 00:02:53,628 --> 00:02:54,876 Okay. Okay. All right. 88 00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:57,634 Is this a sign? 89 00:02:57,722 --> 00:02:59,077 Yes! We are meant to see the show! 90 00:02:59,165 --> 00:03:00,581 No, it's one of those CAPTCHA things. 91 00:03:00,668 --> 00:03:01,548 Is that a road sign?! 92 00:03:01,635 --> 00:03:02,767 - Yes! - I don't know. 93 00:03:02,855 --> 00:03:03,918 Yes. 94 00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,086 Oh! Ohh! Aah! 95 00:03:05,173 --> 00:03:06,720 Oh, my God! 96 00:03:06,807 --> 00:03:08,866 Oh, thank you, sweetie. You saved us. 97 00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,452 It's fine. I needed the miles. 98 00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:11,548 Thank you. 99 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,894 Where's she off to? 100 00:03:12,981 --> 00:03:14,454 - I'm sure it's fine. - Okay. 101 00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:18,165 How about this one? 102 00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:19,485 You look gorgeous. 103 00:03:19,610 --> 00:03:20,514 Now, remember... 104 00:03:20,602 --> 00:03:22,059 Okay, this is not my first time 105 00:03:22,147 --> 00:03:23,778 impressing your business associates. 106 00:03:23,866 --> 00:03:24,938 I know the drill. 107 00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:27,175 Laugh at their jokes, touch their arms... 108 00:03:27,263 --> 00:03:28,539 Yeah, and if he pees on the floor, 109 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:29,640 don't make a big deal out of it. 110 00:03:29,727 --> 00:03:30,907 What is happening? 111 00:03:31,024 --> 00:03:32,593 I quit the closet game 112 00:03:32,681 --> 00:03:35,884 to become the king of high-end, whimsical dog beds. 113 00:03:35,972 --> 00:03:38,376 And to market them today, I'm hosting 114 00:03:38,464 --> 00:03:41,213 social-media influencer Arthur Goodboy. 115 00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:42,456 This little stud 116 00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:45,659 has over 5 million followers on the Instagram. 117 00:03:45,746 --> 00:03:48,720 One photo of him with a product can be a game-changer. 118 00:03:48,808 --> 00:03:51,790 You made me change three times for a dog? 119 00:03:51,878 --> 00:03:53,368 He cannot even see this color! 120 00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:55,063 They can sense the effort! 121 00:03:58,435 --> 00:04:00,818 Welcome! Welcome. I'm Jay Pritchett. 122 00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:02,916 Hello. This is my wife, Gloria. 123 00:04:03,097 --> 00:04:04,011 Hello. 124 00:04:04,098 --> 00:04:05,454 Orson Funt. 125 00:04:05,542 --> 00:04:07,524 I'm sure everyone knows Arthur Goodboy. 126 00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:10,446 Who doesn't? And I must admit, I'm a little starstruck. 127 00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:11,454 Don't be. 128 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,811 He puts on his sweaters one leg at a time. 129 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,733 And this is Stella of Dog Beds by Stella, 130 00:04:17,878 --> 00:04:19,584 but I do most of the design. 131 00:04:20,657 --> 00:04:22,856 Well. She is beautiful for a non-pro. 132 00:04:22,944 --> 00:04:23,497 May I? 133 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:24,966 - Here you go. - Yes. 134 00:04:25,053 --> 00:04:25,967 - May I? - Oh, yeah. 135 00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:27,186 - Thank you. - Oh, yes. 136 00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:29,355 Present! Present. 137 00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:30,459 Who's a lovely lady? 138 00:04:30,547 --> 00:04:31,993 Who's a lovely lady? 139 00:04:32,081 --> 00:04:34,129 Who's an elegant boy? Who's an influencer? 140 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:35,991 Ooh, you are! You are! 141 00:04:36,088 --> 00:04:37,803 Who's an influencer? You are! 142 00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:40,590 You want to see the dog beds? 143 00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:42,012 Yes. Follow me. 144 00:04:43,121 --> 00:04:44,469 He's a good father. 145 00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:45,836 He's a good father. 146 00:04:51,713 --> 00:04:53,010 Sir... 147 00:04:53,634 --> 00:04:55,239 a dog in a pineapple? 148 00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:56,826 Love! 149 00:04:56,914 --> 00:04:59,116 I call that one "Puppy Colada." 150 00:04:59,204 --> 00:05:01,357 - Stop! - Yes, stop. 151 00:05:01,771 --> 00:05:03,771 So, what do you say? Are we in business? 152 00:05:03,859 --> 00:05:04,859 Oh! 153 00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:06,060 Oh, down boy. 154 00:05:06,148 --> 00:05:07,717 I like to make sure that Arthur Goodboy 155 00:05:07,805 --> 00:05:10,220 really loves the product before we do any endorsements. 156 00:05:10,308 --> 00:05:11,358 If we said yes to everything, 157 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,461 then we're no better than that whore Grumpy Cat. 158 00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:15,147 Here, try this one. 159 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:17,008 Okay, Mr. Arthur Goodboy. 160 00:05:17,096 --> 00:05:19,340 Why don't you just trot yourself right in there 161 00:05:19,428 --> 00:05:20,813 and take a load off? 162 00:05:21,047 --> 00:05:22,172 Hm. 163 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:25,080 You know, he just woke up from a nap, so... 164 00:05:25,338 --> 00:05:27,858 he will probably tucker out in a couple of hours. 165 00:05:27,973 --> 00:05:29,921 It's cool, 'cause I have nowhere I need to be. 166 00:05:30,136 --> 00:05:31,414 You don't say. 167 00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:32,955 Oh, it's spacious. 168 00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:35,963 Haley? 169 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:37,256 Over here! 170 00:05:38,268 --> 00:05:39,581 Mom's not with you, right? 171 00:05:39,669 --> 00:05:41,184 No. What's going on? 172 00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,454 What could you have possibly done 173 00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:43,560 that's worse than getting pregnant? 174 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,106 Well, Dylan and I are eloping, 175 00:05:45,194 --> 00:05:47,111 and we want you to be the witness. 176 00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:49,775 Oh, my God! Yes! 177 00:05:49,924 --> 00:05:52,181 Oh, I can't even tell you how special this makes me feel. 178 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,593 I will not tell anyone. I... 179 00:05:53,681 --> 00:05:55,861 Wait. Why eloping? Why not a wedding? 180 00:05:55,979 --> 00:05:57,540 We just want it to be simple and quick. 181 00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:58,720 And no drama. 182 00:05:58,808 --> 00:06:00,458 - Guess that eliminates Mom. - Yeah. 183 00:06:00,546 --> 00:06:01,891 What eliminates Mom? 184 00:06:01,979 --> 00:06:03,601 Oh, um... 185 00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:05,602 You know, uh... You know, it... It's so funny when... 186 00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:08,164 When people do such, um, funny... 187 00:06:08,252 --> 00:06:09,882 You know, the story is so short, 188 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,454 - but it... it... it would be so long... - Enough, enough. 189 00:06:11,541 --> 00:06:12,828 I cannot watch this. 190 00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:15,181 Aw. I felt like she was building to something. 191 00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:19,158 Dylan and I are going to the courthouse to get married. 192 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,611 Wow. 193 00:06:21,737 --> 00:06:23,336 It's nothing personal, you know? 194 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,554 It's just... right now, the last thing we want 195 00:06:25,642 --> 00:06:27,548 is it to turn into a big production. 196 00:06:27,877 --> 00:06:30,468 Well, honey, if that's what you want, 197 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,553 as your mother, obviously, it's incredibly painful, 198 00:06:33,641 --> 00:06:35,475 but that... that's none of your concern. 199 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,475 I just hope you have a wedding that's every bit 200 00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:41,646 as wonderful and beautiful as I always imagined. 201 00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:44,226 You know... when I was gonna be part of it. 202 00:06:45,775 --> 00:06:46,967 I knew she'd be cool. 203 00:06:47,055 --> 00:06:48,264 Yeah! Let's roll. 204 00:06:48,352 --> 00:06:49,834 Mom seemed pretty bummed about it, 205 00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:51,085 but, you know, this is what we want. 206 00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:52,172 Totally! 207 00:06:53,106 --> 00:06:54,407 Damn it! 208 00:06:56,131 --> 00:06:59,000 How could you do this to your mother? 209 00:07:01,535 --> 00:07:03,423 Ugh. What's taking them so long? 210 00:07:03,511 --> 00:07:05,946 I know. It's, like, this wedding isn't about them. 211 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,783 It's about you and Dylan and me! 212 00:07:07,871 --> 00:07:08,925 Coming! 213 00:07:09,003 --> 00:07:10,003 So sorry. 214 00:07:10,091 --> 00:07:11,603 And don't worry, Haley. 215 00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:15,159 I promise you will hardly know we are there at all. 216 00:07:15,247 --> 00:07:16,776 What? You're dressed nicer than me. 217 00:07:16,947 --> 00:07:18,558 Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but are you sure 218 00:07:18,628 --> 00:07:20,338 that's the outfit you want for your special day? 219 00:07:20,425 --> 00:07:22,753 It's Haley's wedding. She can dress as bad as she wants. 220 00:07:22,841 --> 00:07:23,884 Right. 221 00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:24,985 Who died? 222 00:07:25,073 --> 00:07:26,620 Haley and Dylan are getting married. 223 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:27,774 Dressed like that? 224 00:07:27,862 --> 00:07:29,313 Now I have to invite Luke? 225 00:07:29,401 --> 00:07:30,667 Not if you don't want to. 226 00:07:30,776 --> 00:07:31,845 This feels great. 227 00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:34,665 Okay, that is it. Luke, but no one else. 228 00:07:34,753 --> 00:07:36,970 Hey, so, my mom found out your parents are coming, 229 00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:38,904 'cause I told her, and now she's on her way. 230 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,068 And Grandpa's coming. 231 00:07:40,156 --> 00:07:41,419 You guys are gonna love him. 232 00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,556 Oh, but if he asks you to kill him, don't. 233 00:07:43,644 --> 00:07:45,306 - Ugh! - I know what you're thinking. 234 00:07:45,394 --> 00:07:46,736 That is a lot of people 235 00:07:46,824 --> 00:07:49,056 for a small, impersonal room at the courthouse, 236 00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:51,813 and we are on the same page. 237 00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:54,322 So... why don't we just do it here? 238 00:07:54,410 --> 00:07:56,634 I'm ordained. I can perform the ceremony. 239 00:07:56,722 --> 00:07:58,595 That is such a great idea! 240 00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:00,517 That way, it's easy and intimate. 241 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,110 I mean, that's what you wanted, right? 242 00:08:02,198 --> 00:08:03,665 So, go down to the courthouse, 243 00:08:03,753 --> 00:08:05,944 get your marriage license, come back here, 244 00:08:06,032 --> 00:08:07,414 and we'll all be waiting. 245 00:08:08,199 --> 00:08:09,605 Fine. But let's go now. 246 00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:11,494 I'm starving, and they make a great soft pretzel 247 00:08:11,581 --> 00:08:12,556 at the courthouse snack shop. 248 00:08:12,644 --> 00:08:13,755 How do you know that? 249 00:08:13,909 --> 00:08:15,058 I can still elope. 250 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,317 Don't you ruin this for me. 251 00:08:16,405 --> 00:08:17,736 It's fine. It's fine. 252 00:08:20,128 --> 00:08:21,142 Wait. 253 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:22,465 If Dylan's bringing his grandfather, 254 00:08:22,552 --> 00:08:24,557 that means we have to invite Dad and Gloria, right? 255 00:08:24,645 --> 00:08:25,584 I think so, yeah. 256 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,808 But he probably won't show. Jay hates last-minute plans. 257 00:08:27,895 --> 00:08:29,971 He'll be like, "Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?" 258 00:08:30,058 --> 00:08:30,701 Hm. 259 00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,058 Grandpa? 260 00:08:34,542 --> 00:08:36,432 Who's a goody-woody boy? 261 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,477 Who's a sleepy boy? 262 00:08:38,565 --> 00:08:39,892 I never thought I'd say this, 263 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:42,276 but I miss Jay's toxic masculinity. 264 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,862 At least he's not your real father. 265 00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:47,446 - I'll get it! I got it! - I'll get it! 266 00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:50,222 - Hello? - Hey, Gloria. 267 00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:53,188 Haley and Dylan decided to get married this afternoon, 268 00:08:53,276 --> 00:08:55,494 and I know Dad's got that dog-bed thing, 269 00:08:55,582 --> 00:08:57,798 so absolutely no pressure. 270 00:08:57,886 --> 00:09:00,021 Yes. We will be there as soon as we can. 271 00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:02,688 Jay, I am so sorry to break up 272 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,376 this really fun and super normal party, 273 00:09:05,464 --> 00:09:09,095 but Dylan and Haley decided to get married right now, 274 00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:10,774 and Claire wants us there. 275 00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,743 Oh, geez, why don't they just elope? 276 00:09:12,831 --> 00:09:15,751 Actually, Arthur Goodboy loves weddings, 277 00:09:15,839 --> 00:09:18,462 and his followers have been dying to see him in his new tux. 278 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,512 I-I can bring a bed in case he gets tired. 279 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,600 Ooh! 280 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,494 Ooh, look. Somebody's got a crush. 281 00:09:25,582 --> 00:09:27,550 Would Miss Stella do us the honor 282 00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:29,987 of escorting Arthur Goodboy to the wedding?! 283 00:09:30,075 --> 00:09:32,503 Gosh, yes! A thousand times yes! 284 00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:37,727 Well. You're not gonna believe this. 285 00:09:37,815 --> 00:09:38,665 They're coming. 286 00:09:38,753 --> 00:09:39,775 Well, if they're coming, does that mean 287 00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:41,290 we need to invite Mitch and Cam? 288 00:09:41,378 --> 00:09:43,501 Ooh. Imagine the drama if we didn't. 289 00:09:43,589 --> 00:09:44,962 ♪ Who should I choose? ♪ 290 00:09:45,050 --> 00:09:46,524 ♪ Either way, I lose ♪ 291 00:09:46,612 --> 00:09:47,837 ♪ I stare at the gun ♪ 292 00:09:47,925 --> 00:09:50,023 ♪ Is it daughter, is it son? ♪ 293 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,018 ♪ Choices ♪ 294 00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:52,187 - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ 295 00:09:52,274 --> 00:09:53,621 - ♪ Impossible choices ♪ - ♪ Impossible ♪ 296 00:09:53,708 --> 00:09:54,807 - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Choices ♪ 297 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,892 This is why I can't have friends over. 298 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:57,665 Okay. 299 00:09:57,753 --> 00:09:58,585 Somebody just snarked her way 300 00:09:58,652 --> 00:09:59,830 out of a "Sophie's Choice" hoodie! 301 00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:00,932 That's right. 302 00:10:02,566 --> 00:10:03,605 Hey, Claire. What's up? 303 00:10:03,693 --> 00:10:06,167 So, Haley and Dylan decided to get married, 304 00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:07,918 and they'd be devastated if you weren't there. 305 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,050 Oh, of course! We wouldn't miss it for the world! 306 00:10:10,138 --> 00:10:11,157 Just tell us when. 307 00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:12,407 In about an hour. 308 00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,144 Oh, my... Um... Hey, uh, let... 309 00:10:14,232 --> 00:10:15,980 Let me call you right back, okay? 310 00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,249 Are you kidding me?! 311 00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:19,244 I know! What do we do... A musical or the wedding? 312 00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:20,267 It's the cruelest decision 313 00:10:20,355 --> 00:10:21,964 anyone's ever been forced to make. 314 00:10:24,198 --> 00:10:27,082 - Hello? We are here! - Knock! Knock! 315 00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:28,021 Hi. 316 00:10:28,109 --> 00:10:29,282 Hi! Wow! 317 00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:30,433 What is all this? 318 00:10:30,521 --> 00:10:31,451 Hey, Claire. 319 00:10:31,539 --> 00:10:32,860 This is Orson 320 00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:35,485 and, of course, Arthur Goodboy. 321 00:10:35,573 --> 00:10:37,134 Thanks for having us. We love love. 322 00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,149 Mm-hmm. 323 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,837 Dad, can you come over here a second? 324 00:10:39,925 --> 00:10:41,329 Um... Hey, Stella. 325 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:43,626 So, listen, I don't think Haley 326 00:10:43,714 --> 00:10:45,877 wants to come back to a house full of strangers and dogs. 327 00:10:45,964 --> 00:10:47,337 Claire, I've got to have this, 328 00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:49,190 and she's never gonna know they're even here. 329 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,149 Okay, that's bad timing. 330 00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:53,218 Okay, okay, let's... Let's go, let's go, let's go. 331 00:10:53,305 --> 00:10:54,915 Let's go. Let's get it going. 332 00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:56,607 What's your hurry? I thought you... 333 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,204 guys love weddings. 334 00:10:58,292 --> 00:11:00,106 You were gonna say "you people," weren't you? 335 00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:00,931 Prove it. 336 00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,087 We have theater tickets, 337 00:11:02,175 --> 00:11:03,393 and if we get this wedding started, 338 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,438 we can still make curtain for "Sophie's Choice." 339 00:11:05,526 --> 00:11:07,126 I would murder my entire family 340 00:11:07,214 --> 00:11:08,619 and all of their friends to see that musical. 341 00:11:08,706 --> 00:11:09,938 This guy gets it. 342 00:11:10,026 --> 00:11:12,506 Hey-oh! Look who's here! 343 00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:14,717 Don't worry. I'm wearing pants. 344 00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:16,475 As far as you know. 345 00:11:16,784 --> 00:11:18,245 Oh, well, hello, Frank. 346 00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:20,727 And thank you for... sort of making it. 347 00:11:20,815 --> 00:11:22,577 Really? Well, you invited your dad. 348 00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:24,246 - What was I supposed to do? - I don't know. 349 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,689 Hey! Is that Arthur Goodboy? 350 00:11:26,777 --> 00:11:27,873 Big fan! 351 00:11:27,961 --> 00:11:29,592 Been waiting to see him in his tux. 352 00:11:29,804 --> 00:11:31,220 - Hi, Frank... - Farrah. 353 00:11:31,308 --> 00:11:33,087 - Phil. - It is so delightful to see... 354 00:11:33,175 --> 00:11:34,609 Mm. Okay. 355 00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,487 Oh. Gosh. 356 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:39,119 Can you believe our babies are getting married? 357 00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:40,034 I can. 358 00:11:40,122 --> 00:11:42,884 I saw it in a vision at a campfire in Peru. 359 00:11:42,972 --> 00:11:44,415 This is my father, Bert. 360 00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:45,774 Oh, it's such an honor to... 361 00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,722 - Vodka! - Oh. 362 00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:50,188 What a lovely dress. 363 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,298 It's actually a shamanic wedding robe 364 00:11:52,386 --> 00:11:53,384 from South America. 365 00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,915 I wear it at every ceremony I officiate. 366 00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:57,501 Ohhh. This is awkward. 367 00:11:57,589 --> 00:11:58,781 Um... 368 00:11:58,869 --> 00:12:00,508 I'm doing the ceremony. 369 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:03,195 But this is something I've dreamed about all of my lives. 370 00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:05,142 Mom, what the hell is going on? 371 00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,432 - Hey!- - Hey! 372 00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,203 Oh, honey, honey, it's not as bad as it looks. 373 00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:13,651 See, it's still small and simple and... 374 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,281 Not helping. 375 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,758 What? We were gonna play her down the aisle. 376 00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,094 Yeah. Bad luck to get married without bagpipes. 377 00:12:20,182 --> 00:12:22,497 My mom's first wedding... No bagpipes. 378 00:12:22,628 --> 00:12:25,196 My mom's second wedding... Bagpipes. 379 00:12:25,284 --> 00:12:27,691 Six months later, she's still married. 380 00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:29,193 I mean, that's just science. 381 00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:30,250 Now what? 382 00:12:30,338 --> 00:12:32,258 Oh, well, we needed food, so... 383 00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:33,555 Hola, lovebirds. 384 00:12:33,643 --> 00:12:35,227 Oh, this is a disaster. 385 00:12:35,315 --> 00:12:38,469 I know, but we can't pick our childhood homes. 386 00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:40,320 Don't worry. I can fix everything. 387 00:12:40,408 --> 00:12:42,072 Just take your time changing your clothes. 388 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,074 Oh, this is what I'm wearing. 389 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,689 You're hilarious. 390 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,572 Let me see the happy couple. 391 00:12:48,959 --> 00:12:50,619 Congratulations, Haley. 392 00:12:50,707 --> 00:12:53,373 Congratulations, Andy. 393 00:12:58,635 --> 00:13:00,570 Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. 394 00:13:00,658 --> 00:13:03,133 Sorry. Honey, I know you're a little annoyed. 395 00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:05,156 Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you that impression. 396 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:06,540 I'm a lot annoyed. 397 00:13:06,628 --> 00:13:07,727 But it's better. 398 00:13:07,815 --> 00:13:11,250 This way, you'll be surrounded by people who love you. 399 00:13:11,338 --> 00:13:12,359 That's her. 400 00:13:12,447 --> 00:13:16,000 Congratulations! I am so happy for you. 401 00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:16,734 Luke? 402 00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:17,688 Uh, this is Annabelle. 403 00:13:17,776 --> 00:13:18,766 We just met on Tinder. 404 00:13:18,854 --> 00:13:20,188 But we haven't done anything yet. 405 00:13:20,276 --> 00:13:21,781 Guess what, babies. 406 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,124 You're gonna taste some wine today! 407 00:13:23,211 --> 00:13:24,238 Hey, hey, hey. 408 00:13:24,326 --> 00:13:25,649 So, if we're gonna get this thing started, 409 00:13:25,736 --> 00:13:27,106 maybe you should go up and change, huh? 410 00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:28,792 Oh, for the last time, this is what I'm... 411 00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:29,635 Screw it. I'm changing. 412 00:13:29,723 --> 00:13:31,239 - No, don't... I'm... - No, don't change, if that's... 413 00:13:31,326 --> 00:13:32,556 - Damn it! What... - Sorry. I'm sorry. 414 00:13:32,643 --> 00:13:34,003 Gloria, Gloria. 415 00:13:34,449 --> 00:13:35,563 Do me a favor. 416 00:13:35,651 --> 00:13:37,563 Put some salami in my TV. 417 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,450 Whatever that is a code for, the answer is no. 418 00:13:39,537 --> 00:13:40,953 Okay, fine. I'll do it myself. 419 00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:43,533 Keep Orson occupied for about a minute. 420 00:13:43,659 --> 00:13:45,000 Arthur Goodboy, come. 421 00:13:45,088 --> 00:13:46,573 Arthur Goodboy, come. 422 00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:48,625 Mr. Orson. 423 00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:52,860 Um, I need to know... Is your whole life your dog? 424 00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:55,595 Oh, no. I also dabble in stand-up comedy. 425 00:13:55,683 --> 00:13:58,469 In fact, I used to try out all of my material on Arthur Goodboy 426 00:13:58,557 --> 00:14:00,745 until I got in trouble with PETA for animal testing. 427 00:14:02,159 --> 00:14:03,526 Ay! 428 00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:04,763 Speaking of, where is Arthur? 429 00:14:04,851 --> 00:14:05,953 I'm sure he's fine. 430 00:14:06,041 --> 00:14:07,460 Arthur? Arthur? 431 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:10,376 He's in the family room, wolfing down some cold cuts. 432 00:14:10,464 --> 00:14:12,039 No, no, no. He can't digest that. 433 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,726 And that tuxedo is rented. 434 00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:15,879 No, please! Wait! 435 00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,075 Aah! Stop! 436 00:14:19,163 --> 00:14:19,950 Stop? What, no! 437 00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:22,357 He's enjoying the bed. No, he loves it in there. 438 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,474 Don't. 439 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:24,693 The robot told me everything. 440 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:25,771 Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought 441 00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:27,013 - once he got... - Stop! Unh! 442 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,146 I will stay for the wedding 443 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,990 so as not to ruin Halsey and Derek's special day, 444 00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,214 but this partnership is off. 445 00:14:35,535 --> 00:14:36,615 What am I doing? 446 00:14:36,703 --> 00:14:38,319 Making a fool of yourself... 447 00:14:38,407 --> 00:14:40,483 What you have done the whole day. 448 00:14:40,571 --> 00:14:42,319 Yeah. I'm acting like an idiot. 449 00:14:42,851 --> 00:14:44,357 I mean, this was a stupid idea, 450 00:14:44,445 --> 00:14:46,679 trying to launch a whole new business at my age. 451 00:14:46,812 --> 00:14:48,115 I thought it would be fun, 452 00:14:48,203 --> 00:14:50,859 but I should've known I-I need to hang it up. 453 00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:52,453 I need a second. 454 00:14:54,117 --> 00:14:56,451 Dog beds are ridiculous and sad. 455 00:14:56,539 --> 00:14:58,132 But they're important to Jay. 456 00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:01,271 So I guess that loving someone means that you have to respect 457 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:04,265 their idiotic, nauseating dreams. 458 00:15:04,615 --> 00:15:05,951 Hey, old-timer. 459 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,490 I dig those wheels. 460 00:15:07,578 --> 00:15:10,761 Why is this vacuum cleaner talking to me?! 461 00:15:10,849 --> 00:15:12,494 Okay, we are definitely cutting it close, 462 00:15:12,582 --> 00:15:13,697 but I think we're gonna make it. 463 00:15:13,784 --> 00:15:15,506 You know, it's just that, uh, traditionally, 464 00:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,592 the father of the bride calls the shots at these things. 465 00:15:17,679 --> 00:15:18,966 Oh, my goddess, Phil. 466 00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:21,883 By all means, let's return to traditional weddings. 467 00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:24,529 Perhaps you'd like to discuss the matter of Haley's dowry. 468 00:15:24,617 --> 00:15:26,851 Are you prepared to offer livestock or land? 469 00:15:26,953 --> 00:15:28,435 Farrah, I would defer to you 470 00:15:28,523 --> 00:15:30,177 if this were happening in your yurt. 471 00:15:30,265 --> 00:15:31,302 Fine. 472 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,640 We'll settle this over a game of acorns. 473 00:15:34,804 --> 00:15:36,344 Put out your hands. 474 00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:38,851 Acorns, speak. 475 00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:41,741 Oh. Sorry, Phil. 476 00:15:41,835 --> 00:15:42,981 Best of 3. What am I doing? 477 00:15:43,069 --> 00:15:45,200 Okay, both of you, stop! 478 00:15:45,288 --> 00:15:46,677 You can both officiate, all right? 479 00:15:46,765 --> 00:15:48,680 Yeah, but won't that take twice as long? 480 00:15:48,768 --> 00:15:50,865 Uh, whoever's officiating, if you can carve out some time 481 00:15:50,952 --> 00:15:51,968 for a poem I've written. 482 00:15:52,056 --> 00:15:54,099 It's sort of a "Beowulf" meets "You've Got Mail." 483 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,169 - Oh, God, no! No poems! - No! 484 00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:56,138 - Nobody wants a poem! - No one wants that! 485 00:15:56,226 --> 00:15:58,240 - Come on! Let's move this thing along! - Get it going! 486 00:15:58,327 --> 00:16:00,153 You need to give your "Sophie's Choice" ticket 487 00:16:00,241 --> 00:16:01,505 to the dog weirdo. 488 00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:03,292 My dad wants to see a musical? 489 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,122 No, the other dog weirdo. 490 00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:07,825 Didn't you see how excited he got when he heard about it? 491 00:16:07,913 --> 00:16:09,709 Yeah, well, that's not happening. No, thank you. 492 00:16:09,796 --> 00:16:11,927 Think about all the sacrifices 493 00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:13,763 that your father has made for you. 494 00:16:13,851 --> 00:16:15,247 Oh, I just don't care. 495 00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:16,794 You're not gonna make it anyways. 496 00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,531 Y-Yes, we are, 'cause the wedding's about to start. 497 00:16:18,618 --> 00:16:20,327 - Here they come. - Is it? 498 00:16:20,593 --> 00:16:21,841 Excuse me. 499 00:16:21,929 --> 00:16:24,989 Um, before we start this beautiful ceremony, 500 00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:27,270 why don't we go around the room 501 00:16:27,358 --> 00:16:30,099 and talk about what this wedding means 502 00:16:30,187 --> 00:16:30,974 - to us? - Yeah, I don't think anybody 503 00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:32,115 - wants to be put on the spot. - No. 504 00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,091 Let's just get on with the wedding. 505 00:16:33,179 --> 00:16:36,434 To me, a marriage is not just the joining of two hearts. 506 00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:38,247 It's the melding of families. 507 00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:39,778 And can I just say this... 508 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,233 - No! Sit down! - No! Sit down! 509 00:16:43,928 --> 00:16:45,097 Hey. 510 00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:48,388 Go on, go on. There you go. 511 00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:50,737 Are those... packing peanuts? 512 00:16:50,825 --> 00:16:52,540 I had 10 minutes and no budget. 513 00:16:52,628 --> 00:16:54,315 - This is happening. - Yep. 514 00:16:54,987 --> 00:16:56,901 What's this dog doing to Stella? 515 00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:58,483 Bad dog! No humping! 516 00:16:58,571 --> 00:17:00,201 Don't shame him! That's her fault. 517 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:01,476 She's wagging her hips in his face! 518 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,623 That's her dysplasia. 519 00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:03,850 And it's 2019. 520 00:17:03,938 --> 00:17:05,154 What he did is not okay! 521 00:17:05,242 --> 00:17:07,028 Uh-oh. Am I moving? 522 00:17:07,116 --> 00:17:08,617 Something's stuck! 523 00:17:10,789 --> 00:17:12,351 - Phil, I'm falling! - See, this... this... 524 00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:13,944 This is why I didn't want anyone here! 525 00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,803 This is why I wanted to elope! 526 00:17:15,891 --> 00:17:18,834 Haley, I know you're upset, but this is your family. 527 00:17:18,922 --> 00:17:20,154 Who are you?! 528 00:17:20,242 --> 00:17:21,701 Okay, enough! Enough. 529 00:17:21,789 --> 00:17:23,521 Dylan, Haley, in the kitchen... now! 530 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,506 Nice shoes! 531 00:17:24,594 --> 00:17:26,381 I am, uh, so sorry, folks. 532 00:17:26,469 --> 00:17:27,945 This is... This is gonna take a little while. 533 00:17:28,032 --> 00:17:29,928 Maybe Alex and Bill can play something. 534 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,076 - No! No! - No! No! 535 00:17:31,164 --> 00:17:32,897 - We're not gonna make it, are we? - Okay, no. 536 00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:35,186 - We're not gonna make it! - It... It doesn't look like it. 537 00:17:35,273 --> 00:17:36,475 Hey, um... 538 00:17:36,563 --> 00:17:38,935 Hi. My dad wanted you to have these tickets. 539 00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:40,928 Great Danes! Thank you! 540 00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:43,664 Not so fast. You still have something to do. 541 00:17:45,373 --> 00:17:47,006 Listen. Listen to me. 542 00:17:47,094 --> 00:17:48,516 I don't want to hear it, Mom. 543 00:17:49,412 --> 00:17:50,326 Run. 544 00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:51,842 - What?! - Yeah. 545 00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:54,271 We're really sorry that this all got away from us. 546 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:57,234 But all we care about is that you're happy. 547 00:17:57,469 --> 00:18:00,328 And you should have the wedding you want. 548 00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:02,656 Your mom's right. 549 00:18:03,438 --> 00:18:05,045 We eloped, and I still think of it 550 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:06,945 as one of the best days of my life. 551 00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,523 It still seems like the last day we were alone. 552 00:18:10,078 --> 00:18:11,157 Wow. 553 00:18:11,679 --> 00:18:12,688 That's... 554 00:18:13,415 --> 00:18:14,501 Oh, honey. 555 00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:15,955 The four of you better get going, huh? 556 00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:17,123 Yeah. 557 00:18:17,319 --> 00:18:18,827 Ohh, my babies. 558 00:18:18,915 --> 00:18:20,424 - I love you, guys. - Love you, guys. 559 00:18:20,512 --> 00:18:22,212 Bye. Bye. 560 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:26,909 You okay? 561 00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:28,635 Not really, no. 562 00:18:29,057 --> 00:18:30,954 I hate that we're not gonna be there. 563 00:18:31,072 --> 00:18:33,931 I always assumed we would be at her wedding. 564 00:18:34,188 --> 00:18:35,368 Is that selfish? 565 00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:36,837 No. 566 00:18:37,605 --> 00:18:39,106 It's only fair. 567 00:18:40,384 --> 00:18:41,580 She was at ours. 568 00:18:41,681 --> 00:18:43,515 Mm. She was. 569 00:18:46,266 --> 00:18:47,359 Look at this. 570 00:18:47,447 --> 00:18:50,914 He posted one minute ago. It's already got 5,000 likes. 571 00:18:51,002 --> 00:18:51,916 Thank you. 572 00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:53,742 I love you. 573 00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:57,718 And the only thing less sexy than a dog bed is a quitter, 574 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,249 and I didn't marry a quitter. 575 00:18:59,337 --> 00:19:00,437 I married an angel. 576 00:19:00,525 --> 00:19:01,757 Yes, you did! 577 00:19:01,845 --> 00:19:04,163 Could I have everyone's attention? Um... 578 00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:05,937 I just want to say that most of you 579 00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:07,702 are very important to us. 580 00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:09,547 But the wedding's off, and thanks for coming. 581 00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:10,914 - What?! - You got to be kidding me! 582 00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,015 - This is an outrage. - I will never forgive you. 583 00:19:13,103 --> 00:19:14,985 Perhaps the two of you would like to sing a song? 584 00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:17,009 - ♪ Choices, impossible ♪ - ♪ Choices, Choices, impossible ♪ 585 00:19:17,096 --> 00:19:18,524 - ♪ Choices ♪ - ♪ Why are there so many ♪ 586 00:19:18,611 --> 00:19:20,163 - ♪ Voices ♪ - ♪ Voices ♪ 587 00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:23,051 - ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪ - ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪ 588 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,181 Mom? Dad? 589 00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:28,607 Oh, honey. 590 00:19:28,695 --> 00:19:29,609 Hey. 591 00:19:29,697 --> 00:19:31,116 Hey. How did it go? 592 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,554 Uh, we... didn't go through with it. 593 00:19:34,642 --> 00:19:36,751 What? We were at this 24-hour chapel, 594 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:38,829 and they called our names, but... 595 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,525 something about it just didn't feel right. 596 00:19:41,845 --> 00:19:43,954 Sweetheart, it's okay. 597 00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:46,126 You'll know when it's the right time. 598 00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:47,278 Mm-hmm. 599 00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:49,631 That's why I'm here. 600 00:19:50,173 --> 00:19:52,046 I thought about what you said 601 00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:54,355 about how I should have the wedding that I want. 602 00:19:54,499 --> 00:19:55,747 Mm-hmm. 603 00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:58,790 Well, the wedding that I want has you guys there. 604 00:20:04,603 --> 00:20:07,079 And, like the nuptial antler, 605 00:20:07,509 --> 00:20:10,150 your bond will never be broken. 606 00:20:11,365 --> 00:20:13,204 Take us home, Phil. 607 00:20:16,071 --> 00:20:21,829 And so, by the powers vested in me by NoPainOrdain.com, 608 00:20:22,462 --> 00:20:24,926 I pronounce you, Dylan... 609 00:20:25,014 --> 00:20:26,561 and you, Haley... 610 00:20:27,717 --> 00:20:30,222 husband... 611 00:20:31,224 --> 00:20:32,569 ...and wife. 612 00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:36,732 Hey! Kiss her already! 613 00:20:36,889 --> 00:20:38,791 Oh, my God. 614 00:20:42,929 --> 00:20:45,110 - You wanted to talk to me? - Yeah. Um... 615 00:20:45,198 --> 00:20:47,044 It's been bothering me the last few days 616 00:20:47,132 --> 00:20:49,046 that since they were gonna elope, Dylan never came to me 617 00:20:49,133 --> 00:20:50,413 and asked for Haley's hand in marriage. 618 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:51,544 Yeah. 619 00:20:51,655 --> 00:20:52,826 Well, then it occurred to me that, 620 00:20:52,913 --> 00:20:54,193 since Claire and I eloped, 621 00:20:54,281 --> 00:20:57,849 I never officially asked you for her hand in marriage. 622 00:20:57,945 --> 00:20:59,208 - So, uh... - So ask me. 623 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:00,884 Okay. 624 00:21:01,342 --> 00:21:02,424 Jay... 625 00:21:02,666 --> 00:21:04,693 I love your daughter very much, and I would like your... 626 00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:05,834 Nope. 627 00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:08,739 That's very funny. Um... 628 00:21:08,827 --> 00:21:11,094 But seriously, I would very much like your blessing... 629 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:13,026 Sorry. I've got several concerns. 630 00:21:13,114 --> 00:21:14,024 I'm not on board. 631 00:21:14,112 --> 00:21:16,203 You realize this is just a-a formality. 632 00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:17,743 We've been married for almost 25 years. 633 00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:20,081 And the entire time, without my blessing. 634 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,048 Okay, how many dog beds 635 00:21:22,136 --> 00:21:23,086 - is this gonna cost me? - Five. 636 00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:23,931 - Three. - Four. 637 00:21:24,019 --> 00:21:25,346 - Done. - Blessed!