1
00:00:23,752 --> 00:00:25,281
Without a thermos of chardonnay...

2
00:00:25,282 --> 00:00:28,473
And don't get me started on the dad.
That guy is--

3
00:00:28,474 --> 00:00:30,041
Oh! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

4
00:00:30,042 --> 00:00:34,262
- Mom! - Oh! This is such a
dangerous intersection!

5
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:36,380
Did I get lipstick on my face?

6
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:38,643
No, you're fine.
And consider yourself lucky

7
00:00:38,644 --> 00:00:40,949
You didn't just get, like,
felt up by your mom.

8
00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:42,272
They need to get a stop sign.

9
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:43,719
What is your obsession with traffic?

10
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,770
It's an obsession with safety.

11
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,890
One of these days, Joe Speeder's
gonna come tearing through here,

12
00:00:48,891 --> 00:00:50,621
- and somebody's gonna-- Aah!
- Aah!

13
00:00:51,557 --> 00:00:52,543
- Aah! Oh!
- I'm okay.

14
00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:55,345
- Oh! Oh, my god!
- I'm okay. Oh, hey, guys.

15
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:58,374
- Phil? - Yeah.
No, I'm good. Gotta keep moving.

16
00:00:58,624 --> 00:01:00,185
Keep the heart rate up.

17
00:01:01,426 --> 00:01:02,488
Oh. Okay.

18
00:01:02,489 --> 00:01:03,718
How's my face?

19
00:01:03,719 --> 00:01:05,006
Still good.

20
00:01:05,046 --> 00:01:06,196
Okay. Good.

21
00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:08,535
Modern Family.

22
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:12,036
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com

23
00:01:17,981 --> 00:01:20,021
Gloria, how many times
do I have to tell you

24
00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,601
to pull your car all the way in?

25
00:01:21,602 --> 00:01:23,042
The gate was open all night.

26
00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:24,892
We live in a nice neighborhood.

27
00:01:24,893 --> 00:01:28,139
What are you afraid of?
That some money's gonna fly in

28
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:30,917
and then your gardener
is gonna have to rake it up?

29
00:01:31,566 --> 00:01:33,714
Jay, I'm going to need you
to cut me a check.

30
00:01:33,715 --> 00:01:34,569
What now?

31
00:01:34,570 --> 00:01:36,680
Drama club trip. "Les Miserables."

32
00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:38,544
We're selling wrapping paper
to raise money for the tickets.

33
00:01:38,545 --> 00:01:41,252
No. No. Wait. Wait. Slow down.
What's the story exactly?

34
00:01:41,253 --> 00:01:43,389
Well, Jean Valjean
spent 19 years in prison

35
00:01:43,390 --> 00:01:45,847
- for stealing a loaf of bread.
- The wrapping paper.

36
00:01:45,848 --> 00:01:48,100
19 years for a loaf of bread?

37
00:01:48,413 --> 00:01:49,929
How good was this bread?

38
00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:51,806
It wasn't about the bread.
It was about the society--

39
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,509
Focus, people.

40
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,029
Manny, we will buy
all your wrapping paper.

41
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:58,065
No. No, we won't.
No, he's got to learn to sell.

42
00:01:58,261 --> 00:02:00,237
This is the best
business training there is,

43
00:02:00,238 --> 00:02:01,692
hell, the best life training.

44
00:02:01,693 --> 00:02:03,075
Manny, write this down--

45
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:07,184
"A good salesman goes after
Moby Dick in a rowboat

46
00:02:07,314 --> 00:02:09,747
and brings the tartar sauce with him."

47
00:02:11,037 --> 00:02:13,449
Jay is always telling me
to "Write this down."

48
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,697
I don't always catch everything he says.

49
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:19,068
"Something, something, firm handshake."

50
00:02:20,252 --> 00:02:22,540
"Never take the first room
they show you."

51
00:02:22,574 --> 00:02:24,582
Not sure who "They" is.

52
00:02:24,984 --> 00:02:27,513
And this one just says "Pancakes."

53
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:30,312
Cam, what's this scribble
on the "Vanity fair"

54
00:02:30,313 --> 00:02:32,500
- about an adoption agency?
- Oh, uh, yeah, they called

55
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,951
to say they wanted
to reschedule our home visit.

56
00:02:34,952 --> 00:02:38,236
When? Why didn't you tell me?
Th-this is kind of important.

57
00:02:38,237 --> 00:02:39,683
Well, when does it say?

58
00:02:40,257 --> 00:02:40,970
Uh, well, who knows?

59
00:02:40,971 --> 00:02:43,134
It disappears into Jennifer Aniston's hair.

60
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,889
You gotta get a better system.

61
00:02:44,993 --> 00:02:47,050
There is nothing wrong with my system.

62
00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,662
Ask me anything
about any upcoming event.

63
00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:50,297
I can tell you when and where it is.

64
00:02:50,391 --> 00:02:52,568
When is the adoption agency visit?

65
00:02:53,337 --> 00:02:55,642
Okay. Is that a "5" or a curl?

66
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:58,264
Oh, I hope Jen's finally found love.

67
00:03:05,049 --> 00:03:06,183
What happened here?

68
00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:08,114
Well, Lily and I woke up in a french mood,

69
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:10,562
so we decided to whip up some crepes.

70
00:03:10,573 --> 00:03:12,542
When are you gonna be
in the mood to wipe up some crepes?

71
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:14,342
Oh, I know, it's a little messy, but...

72
00:03:14,343 --> 00:03:16,228
- You know what? I'm gonna clean it up.
- Okay.

73
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:18,432
- I'll clean it up.
- Will you?

74
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,496
- Just say what's on your mind.
- You never clean up.

75
00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:22,038
Save the gasp.

76
00:03:22,039 --> 00:03:23,966
Cam, whenever you get creative
in the kitchen,

77
00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:25,939
I'm the one who ends up
cleaning it up, okay?

78
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:29,485
The homemade pizza, fondue,
molecular gastronomy.

79
00:03:29,486 --> 00:03:31,646
I'm still cleaning shrimp foam
out of the curtains.

80
00:03:31,647 --> 00:03:34,302
Okay, you know, Mitchell?
Just go to work, okay?

81
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,806
I'm gonna take Lily to school,
and then when I get home,

82
00:03:36,945 --> 00:03:38,953
I'm gonna scrub this place
like a crime scene,

83
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:41,256
which it is,
because you've murdered joy.

84
00:03:45,604 --> 00:03:47,723
Hey, buddy. What's up?

85
00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:49,304
Hey, dad. Think fast.

86
00:03:51,537 --> 00:03:53,043
Oh, my god!

87
00:03:53,045 --> 00:03:55,312
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god!

88
00:03:55,313 --> 00:03:58,331
If we had that on tape,
it'd be the greatest youtube video ever!

89
00:03:58,332 --> 00:04:01,113
We'd get, like, a million hits.
This is our double rainbow!

90
00:04:01,114 --> 00:04:02,568
We need to do it again.

91
00:04:02,569 --> 00:04:04,242
Oh, I would, buddy, but, uh,

92
00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,786
your mom's all over me
to change a bunch of lightbulbs.

93
00:04:06,795 --> 00:04:09,250
How many moms does it take
to screw on a lightbulb?

94
00:04:09,251 --> 00:04:12,716
- I don't know. - None,
'cause they get you to do it, sucker.

95
00:04:16,148 --> 00:04:17,404
I laughed, but...

96
00:04:18,398 --> 00:04:19,910
It hurt a little.

97
00:04:21,559 --> 00:04:22,894
We're home!

98
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:25,360
- Us, too.
- Oh, great. You're all here.

99
00:04:25,361 --> 00:04:26,617
What's up, girl?

100
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:29,419
Oh. You know that
really dangerous intersection?

101
00:04:29,444 --> 00:04:32,742
Where desire meets jealousy,
and the result is murder?

102
00:04:32,743 --> 00:04:34,330
Mnh-mnh. The one
where I almost killed you this morning.

103
00:04:34,331 --> 00:04:37,623
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
That was my bad. I got lost in my jams.

104
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:40,865
Dangerous combo--
speed walking and speedwagon.

105
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:43,389
Oh. I wasn't even trying for that.

106
00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,235
Nice.

107
00:04:44,236 --> 00:04:47,352
Well, I am getting us a stop sign.

108
00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,928
I called City Hall,
and how is this for amazing?

109
00:04:49,929 --> 00:04:51,791
The traffic committee meets tonight.

110
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:52,731
I've got goosebumps.

111
00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:56,452
I know, right?
All I have to do is get 50 signatures,

112
00:04:56,453 --> 00:04:58,117
show up, make my case.

113
00:04:58,118 --> 00:05:00,223
- It's on.
- I am so proud of you.

114
00:05:00,224 --> 00:05:02,086
- We all are.
- Mm.

115
00:05:02,087 --> 00:05:04,148
We love when mom gets on a project

116
00:05:04,149 --> 00:05:06,229
because usually
the minute any of us walks in the door,

117
00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:07,824
she gives us something to do.

118
00:05:07,825 --> 00:05:09,833
"Do your homework. Clean your room."

119
00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:10,996
"Put on pants."

120
00:05:10,997 --> 00:05:13,560
Like the queen's coming over.
Am I right?

121
00:05:14,264 --> 00:05:15,817
So when she's not around or gets busy,

122
00:05:15,818 --> 00:05:18,076
Luke and I capitalize on the situation.

123
00:05:18,993 --> 00:05:20,753
There you are, my good man.

124
00:05:21,107 --> 00:05:24,090
Squire, let's do it.

125
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:26,032
Get you some!

126
00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,506
Well, I think it's awesome.

127
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:30,423
I am so glad because
I could really use your help

128
00:05:30,424 --> 00:05:32,168
getting these signatures.

129
00:05:33,851 --> 00:05:35,196
I'll do it,

130
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,345
soon as I change
those lightbulbs you wanted.

131
00:05:37,346 --> 00:05:39,229
Great. Kids?

132
00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:42,494
Crud. You know,
I've got a ton of homework.

133
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:46,734
- Uh, science project.
- Haley?

134
00:05:46,735 --> 00:05:49,708
I need to get started
on my college essay.

135
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:52,527
You know what?
Maybe I'll write it about you.

136
00:05:52,528 --> 00:05:54,201
You're just so inspirational.

137
00:05:54,202 --> 00:05:56,664
Girl power! You rock.

138
00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,065
Thanks, honey.

139
00:05:59,336 --> 00:06:00,768
I do rock.

140
00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:04,262
Stella, down.

141
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:09,162
Stella, no. This is very dangerous.

142
00:06:09,931 --> 00:06:11,003
Okay, señorita. That's it.

143
00:06:11,583 --> 00:06:13,639
Come here,
because Jay is gonna be very mad

144
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,552
if something happens to you.

145
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:18,473
Ay, tener que cuidar perro ahora.
¡Qué belleza!

146
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,871
Go play with the bone. See you later.

147
00:06:23,602 --> 00:06:26,687
Now I can cook my empanadas.

148
00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:28,814
The gate.

149
00:06:29,029 --> 00:06:29,972
Ay, no!

150
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,365
Ay, no! The gate! The gate!

151
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,513
Estella, come back!

152
00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:46,572
Hey there, Mr. Salesman.

153
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,304
Can we not talk about business?

154
00:06:48,305 --> 00:06:49,311
That bad, huh?

155
00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:50,906
I gave it everything I got--

156
00:06:50,907 --> 00:06:53,051
Working the dimples, going big eyes.

157
00:06:53,052 --> 00:06:56,091
It got me two things--
diddly and squat.

158
00:06:56,359 --> 00:06:57,698
How many houses you hit?

159
00:06:57,699 --> 00:06:59,004
I don't know.

160
00:06:59,357 --> 00:07:00,795
Must've been at least three.

161
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:03,978
Three? And that's your idea
of the best you got?

162
00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,215
It was very hard on me.

163
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:08,137
I'm not used to rejection... Or hills.

164
00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:10,070
Look, you can't quit
after three houses.

165
00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:12,327
That's-- that's not perseverance.

166
00:07:12,651 --> 00:07:13,727
What are you selling?

167
00:07:13,728 --> 00:07:15,560
- Wrapping paper.
- Wrong.

168
00:07:15,776 --> 00:07:17,529
You're selling christmas--

169
00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:19,206
The excitement of opening presents,

170
00:07:19,207 --> 00:07:20,813
the taste of eggnog.

171
00:07:20,814 --> 00:07:21,730
I do love eggnog.

172
00:07:21,731 --> 00:07:23,006
Look, write this down--

173
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:26,776
"What's the difference between
'try' and 'triumph'?"

174
00:07:27,692 --> 00:07:28,381
A little oomph?

175
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:30,405
A little oomph. Get it?

176
00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,165
Of course I get it. I just said it.

177
00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:37,419
Hey! I'm gonna kill you
when I find you, silly dog!

178
00:07:37,446 --> 00:07:39,182
Why don't you come back? Stella!

179
00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:40,478
I have a theory.

180
00:07:40,538 --> 00:07:42,152
Ay, Cam, thank you for helping me.

181
00:07:42,153 --> 00:07:44,926
Oh, it's my pleasure. Stella!

182
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:47,172
Stella!

183
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,326
Oh, my god.

184
00:07:50,327 --> 00:07:52,134
What? Do you see her?

185
00:07:52,135 --> 00:07:56,206
No. But I see myself in the role
I was born to play.

186
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,543
Stella!

187
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,900
Stella!

188
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:13,304
Hello? Oh, Mitchell,
you are not gonna believe this.

189
00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:15,268
I'm out helping Gloria look for her dog.

190
00:08:15,269 --> 00:08:17,530
I'm wearing an undershirt
and I'm screaming "Stella,"

191
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,324
just like in "Streetcar."

192
00:08:19,913 --> 00:08:21,739
- Hello?
- You didn't clean the kitchen.

193
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:24,273
Mitchell, I am
an inadvertent Stanley Kowalski.

194
00:08:24,274 --> 00:08:26,091
How can you not be delighted by this?

195
00:08:26,092 --> 00:08:27,229
You promised.

196
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:28,633
I was called away for an emergency.

197
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:30,761
Gloria's lost her dog,
and she's heartbroken.

198
00:08:30,762 --> 00:08:34,533
Where are you, dumb dog?
I hope in a big, black hole.

199
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:37,842
I cannot believe that
you did this to me yet again. Oh.

200
00:08:37,843 --> 00:08:39,802
I didn't do anything.

201
00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:41,879
I cooked a meal in our kitchen.

202
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,675
And then you left on purpose,
knowing that

203
00:08:43,676 --> 00:08:45,708
I would not be able to sit here
without cleaning it up.

204
00:08:45,709 --> 00:08:49,431
Life is messy sometimes.
Big deal. It gets cleaned up.

205
00:08:49,432 --> 00:08:51,194
You're the one with a problem
if you can't leave

206
00:08:51,195 --> 00:08:53,116
a few dirty dishes for a couple hours.

207
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:55,528
O-okay, fine.
C-cam, I'm not cleaning it up.

208
00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:56,537
Great.

209
00:08:56,945 --> 00:08:57,657
I mean it.

210
00:08:57,658 --> 00:08:59,597
Perfect. You know what?
Why don't you make it bigger?

211
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:00,883
You know what? I will.

212
00:09:00,884 --> 00:09:03,615
I-I... Okay, you know, get--get ready,

213
00:09:03,616 --> 00:09:06,069
because you are gonna come home to--
to a giant mess.

214
00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:09,356
And I will give him a giant hug
when I get there.

215
00:09:12,355 --> 00:09:14,572
Stella!

216
00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:17,719
Hey, dad. Think fast.

217
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,070
Oh. Wow. Buddy.

218
00:09:20,071 --> 00:09:22,036
I'm sorry. I told you,
I gotta change the lightbulbs

219
00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:24,293
and then help your mom
with those signatures.

220
00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:25,939
Never mind.

221
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,524
I guess it was a stupid idea anyways.

222
00:09:29,891 --> 00:09:31,394
I've always said
that if my son thinks of me

223
00:09:31,395 --> 00:09:34,366
as one of his idiot friends,
then I've succeeded as a dad.

224
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:37,061
If he wants to go the wrong way
on the escalator, I'm on board.

225
00:09:37,062 --> 00:09:38,382
If he wants to go into a restaurant

226
00:09:38,383 --> 00:09:39,762
and pretend we're australian,

227
00:09:40,486 --> 00:09:43,808
toss a few shrimp on the Barbie
for me and my Joey.

228
00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:46,213
Yeah? Right? Nicole Kidman?

229
00:09:46,282 --> 00:09:47,736
Men at work?

230
00:09:48,633 --> 00:09:50,882
Here we go. Take 12.

231
00:09:51,193 --> 00:09:52,277
Hey, buddy! I'm home!

232
00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:53,818
Hey, dad. Think fast.

233
00:09:56,248 --> 00:09:58,058
Wow. You know,
my arm's starting to hurt a little.

234
00:09:58,059 --> 00:09:59,981
Really? 'Cause my face feels great.

235
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:02,197
Come on, dad.
Let's not turn on each other.

236
00:10:02,198 --> 00:10:03,681
We could be here a while.

237
00:10:03,999 --> 00:10:06,197
Yeah. Okay. You're right.
Here we go.

238
00:10:06,198 --> 00:10:07,742
Take nine.

239
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:09,367
You're not even trying.

240
00:10:15,405 --> 00:10:17,431
Daddy, I'm hungry.

241
00:10:17,432 --> 00:10:18,500
What do you want, honey?

242
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:19,550
Raisins.

243
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,736
All right well, go get 'em.

244
00:10:24,487 --> 00:10:26,216
It's too high, daddy.

245
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:28,040
I can't reach.

246
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:30,407
For the record, I am not a neat freak.

247
00:10:30,408 --> 00:10:32,525
I-in fact,
in my first long-term relationship,

248
00:10:32,526 --> 00:10:35,485
I was the messy one,
which is why she broke up with me.

249
00:10:36,293 --> 00:10:37,645
Well...

250
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,111
- No, thanks.
- Okay.

251
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,442
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me show you how it's done.

252
00:10:47,886 --> 00:10:49,216
Hi. Uh, Jay Pritchett here.

253
00:10:49,217 --> 00:10:50,830
Holidays are just around the corner.

254
00:10:50,831 --> 00:10:53,295
I'm sorry.
I don't believe in wrapping paper.

255
00:10:53,359 --> 00:10:54,751
What do you mean
you don't believe in wrapping paper?

256
00:10:54,752 --> 00:10:56,559
It's not Bigfoot. It exists.

257
00:10:56,769 --> 00:10:58,374
It's not eco-friendly. It's wasteful.

258
00:10:58,445 --> 00:10:59,405
No, not this stuff.

259
00:10:59,406 --> 00:11:02,699
This paper was made
from 100% recycled materials.

260
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,044
I don't think so.

261
00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:08,020
I can't understand what you're saying.

262
00:11:08,055 --> 00:11:09,991
She's an ugly little fresh bulldog

263
00:11:09,992 --> 00:11:12,599
with the tiny ears
and the smushy face.

264
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,581
What is so hard to understand?

265
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,176
Maybe I should translate.

266
00:11:16,912 --> 00:11:19,736
I really don't like
people coming to my door unannounced

267
00:11:19,737 --> 00:11:21,654
while I'm working on my carving.

268
00:11:21,655 --> 00:11:25,478
I understand,
but a stop sign is really important.

269
00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:28,826
What exactly are you carving?

270
00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:31,461
Hello, ma'am. Do you love christmas?

271
00:11:31,462 --> 00:11:33,363
Actually, I'm jewish.

272
00:11:33,397 --> 00:11:36,749
Oh, well, then
you must appreciate a good value.

273
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,468
Oh, jeez.

274
00:11:38,502 --> 00:11:40,233
If you see her, let us know.

275
00:11:43,774 --> 00:11:46,409
Oh, my god. No, no. No, no.

276
00:11:46,443 --> 00:11:48,911
Are you kidding? Seriously?!

277
00:11:48,946 --> 00:11:52,010
See? You're not keeping your head
in the right position.

278
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,850
I know that's me,
but I'm not remembering any of this.

279
00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:57,036
Oh. Those stupid neighbors!

280
00:11:57,071 --> 00:12:00,523
- What's wrong?
- I can't ask for a simple signature,

281
00:12:00,524 --> 00:12:02,058
but it's fine for them to build a house

282
00:12:02,092 --> 00:12:04,469
that looks like
the Beverly Hillbillies just moved in.

283
00:12:04,946 --> 00:12:06,095
Did you do any better?

284
00:12:06,130 --> 00:12:07,630
We came close a few times,

285
00:12:07,664 --> 00:12:10,650
but you're not talking about
the basketball, are you?

286
00:12:10,701 --> 00:12:13,315
Phil, tell me you got some signatures.

287
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,523
I have to be at City Hall in,
like, two hours.

288
00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:17,989
Oh, god. Haley, how about you?

289
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:20,440
I've been busy with my college essay.

290
00:12:20,621 --> 00:12:21,749
Really? Where is it?

291
00:12:22,211 --> 00:12:24,212
It's in a rough,
rough draft right now.

292
00:12:24,246 --> 00:12:25,914
I've been thinking
that maybe that I should--

293
00:12:25,948 --> 00:12:28,216
Alex has been skyping
with her boyfriend since you left.

294
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:29,784
That's so not true!

295
00:12:29,802 --> 00:12:30,724
Thank you.

296
00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:34,063
Really, thank all of you
so much for your help.

297
00:12:37,383 --> 00:12:38,082
Really?

298
00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:40,549
Sometimes those things
need to warm up, like the car.

299
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:42,120
Phil, don't even. I have been out there,

300
00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:44,589
trying to do something good
for our community,

301
00:12:44,607 --> 00:12:47,725
because let me tell you,
change doesn't just happen.

302
00:12:47,743 --> 00:12:49,628
It is forged

303
00:12:49,629 --> 00:12:52,212
by empowered women like me

304
00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:55,212
and Norma Rae
and the lady from "The Blind Side."

305
00:12:55,213 --> 00:12:57,204
Do you know what the difference is
between me and her?

306
00:12:57,205 --> 00:12:59,468
Blind side's family had her back.

307
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:03,412
Okay.

308
00:13:03,738 --> 00:13:05,047
Huddle up, everybody.

309
00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:07,457
Your mother's right.

310
00:13:08,175 --> 00:13:10,143
She's the quarterback of this family,

311
00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:12,479
and we need to protect her
like blind side did.

312
00:13:12,513 --> 00:13:14,311
She just said the mom was blind side.

313
00:13:14,312 --> 00:13:15,275
Well, she's confused.

314
00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:17,573
Blind side was the black kid
who played tight end.

315
00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:18,809
Offense line.

316
00:13:19,587 --> 00:13:21,808
Sorry. African-american kid.

317
00:13:29,855 --> 00:13:31,672
There she is.

318
00:13:31,706 --> 00:13:34,291
Ay! Stella!

319
00:13:34,326 --> 00:13:38,362
Ay, thank god you found my dog.
Thank you.

320
00:13:38,396 --> 00:13:40,748
This is my dog. Her name's Pinky.

321
00:13:40,782 --> 00:13:42,450
No, it's not. Her name is Stella.

322
00:13:42,484 --> 00:13:44,452
It says right here on the tag. Look.

323
00:13:44,486 --> 00:13:46,920
Uh, uh, uh, excuse me.
Hi, sweetie. What's your name?

324
00:13:46,938 --> 00:13:47,938
Blanche.

325
00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:50,212
Shut up. Mitchell would die.

326
00:13:50,213 --> 00:13:51,635
Listen, we don't know you.

327
00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:53,421
You seem like a very sweet little girl,

328
00:13:53,472 --> 00:13:55,026
and right now we're forced to--

329
00:13:55,027 --> 00:13:56,819
I can't believe I'm saying this to you--

330
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:59,699
Rely on the kindness of strangers.

331
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,601
I'll sell her to you for $200.

332
00:14:01,635 --> 00:14:03,503
That's it. Give me my dog.

333
00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:04,971
Aah!

334
00:14:05,005 --> 00:14:07,073
Oh, really? The little girl thinks
because she can scream,

335
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,592
she can get away with everything?
I can scream, too.

336
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:11,127
- Aah!
- Aah!

337
00:14:11,178 --> 00:14:13,629
- Aah!
- Aah!

338
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,681
Aah!

339
00:14:15,715 --> 00:14:16,749
Aah!

340
00:14:16,784 --> 00:14:18,234
Aah!

341
00:14:18,285 --> 00:14:20,219
What the hell sound is that?

342
00:14:20,254 --> 00:14:21,811
Coyotes must've got a cat.

343
00:14:22,464 --> 00:14:24,946
Jay, can we stop now?
I'm getting hungry.

344
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,139
You know what the problem is?
You're not hungry.

345
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,640
I had a carrot at 3:00.

346
00:14:28,641 --> 00:14:30,051
What if you couldn't feed your family

347
00:14:30,085 --> 00:14:31,569
unless you made this next sale?

348
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,393
What if you were gonna lose your house?

349
00:14:34,004 --> 00:14:37,108
I know I was pushing the kid hard,
but here's the thing--

350
00:14:37,981 --> 00:14:40,550
I'm an older dad.
I'm not gonna be around forever.

351
00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:41,894
And I'll sleep better

352
00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:44,028
knowing he's got something
to fall back on.

353
00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:45,686
Come on! Let's hit another one.

354
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,371
- I can't do it.
- What?

355
00:14:47,405 --> 00:14:50,415
- I don't have what it takes.
- What kind of talk is that?

356
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:51,768
It's the truth, Jay.

357
00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:55,002
I'm not a great salesman.
I'm not a great businessman.

358
00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:56,788
I'm not you.

359
00:14:56,822 --> 00:14:58,673
Do you know what it's like
to see all the amazing things

360
00:14:58,707 --> 00:15:00,792
you've accomplished,
knowing I never will?

361
00:15:00,826 --> 00:15:02,827
How am I supposed to live up to you?

362
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,233
How is anyone?

363
00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:08,638
Ah, so the fish weren't biting today.

364
00:15:08,639 --> 00:15:10,446
So what? That's life.

365
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:13,593
You tried hard,
and that's what matters.

366
00:15:13,594 --> 00:15:14,469
Yeah.

367
00:15:16,145 --> 00:15:19,507
You know,
I-I actually need some wrapping paper.

368
00:15:19,508 --> 00:15:20,692
You know where I can find some?

369
00:15:20,693 --> 00:15:23,029
- You don't have to do that.
- I want to do it.

370
00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:26,299
You'll never go broke
playing to a rich guy's ego---

371
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,582
Write that down.

372
00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:30,927
Thanks so much, you guys.

373
00:15:30,945 --> 00:15:32,362
Maybe you should make a wish.

374
00:15:32,396 --> 00:15:33,887
Uh, hi. Oh, sorry.

375
00:15:33,888 --> 00:15:36,752
Um, I'm here for the traffic
committee meeting?

376
00:15:36,753 --> 00:15:38,422
The meeting's been adjourned.

377
00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:39,939
- Yeah. Um...
- It's my birthday.

378
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,839
I'm sorry. Happy birthday.

379
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,591
Uh, just--someone sent me
to the wrong room,

380
00:15:43,592 --> 00:15:45,017
and you guys
don't meet again for months,

381
00:15:45,018 --> 00:15:47,824
and this is pretty much
a matter of life and death, so...

382
00:15:49,304 --> 00:15:50,628
Uh, yeah, it's fine.

383
00:15:50,629 --> 00:15:52,572
Uh, just-- if you could make it quick.

384
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:54,189
We--it's an ice cream cake.

385
00:15:54,224 --> 00:15:56,041
- Okay.
- A-actually, it's not.

386
00:15:56,075 --> 00:15:58,060
- What?
- No.

387
00:15:58,094 --> 00:16:02,240
Really? Oh, then we--
we're not in a rush, I guess.

388
00:16:02,241 --> 00:16:04,736
At all. No rush. Go ahead.

389
00:16:04,737 --> 00:16:06,838
Great. My name is Claire Dunphy,

390
00:16:06,872 --> 00:16:08,675
and my family and I live near

391
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,500
- that intersection of --
- Why not? Why not?

392
00:16:11,049 --> 00:16:13,264
The freezer was broken,
and we couldn't keep it here.

393
00:16:13,946 --> 00:16:16,648
See? This is why I ask you
to think ahead, okay?

394
00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:18,255
Do you have your 50 signatures?

395
00:16:18,256 --> 00:16:21,587
Uh, almost. I have 34, but I--

396
00:16:21,588 --> 00:16:24,180
Oh. That's the same thing.

397
00:16:25,532 --> 00:16:26,948
Wow. I'm confused.

398
00:16:26,949 --> 00:16:28,272
- It's not the same thing.
- No.

399
00:16:28,273 --> 00:16:30,828
No. 34 is not the same thing as 50,

400
00:16:30,829 --> 00:16:34,162
just like a cake is not the same thing

401
00:16:34,163 --> 00:16:36,627
- as an ice cream cake.
- Right.

402
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:39,383
- I get that. Sir, I'm trying to
save lives here... - Mom.

403
00:16:39,384 --> 00:16:41,128
- And I can get you the rest
of the signatures. - Mom. Mom. Mom.

404
00:16:41,232 --> 00:16:43,068
Mom! Oh, my god.
What are you doing here? Girls.

405
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,619
We--we went door to door
and we got you 20 more signatures.

406
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:48,757
That is so sweet of you.

407
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,915
- Well, you were freaking out
at us, so... - Okay,

408
00:16:50,916 --> 00:16:52,267
you know, let's not ruin it.

409
00:16:52,268 --> 00:16:56,035
- All right, 54 signatures.
- Okay.

410
00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:56,921
So what do you say?

411
00:16:56,922 --> 00:17:00,032
Let's start saving lives
one intersection at a time.

412
00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:00,919
Okay, thank you very much.

413
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,723
We will, uh,
take these under advisement.

414
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:04,024
Just leave 'em here, and thank you--

415
00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:06,404
Wait a minute. I know what that means.

416
00:17:06,405 --> 00:17:07,268
Oh, here we go.

417
00:17:07,269 --> 00:17:09,655
That's Washington-speak for "Get lost."

418
00:17:09,656 --> 00:17:12,061
Well, um, wow, Phil.

419
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,269
What are you doing here?

420
00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,052
I'm your husband.

421
00:17:15,299 --> 00:17:16,468
I'm blindsiding you.

422
00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:18,067
Uh...

423
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:20,771
Your honor, permission to approach.

424
00:17:20,805 --> 00:17:23,197
- Not a judge.
- I'll allow it.

425
00:17:23,258 --> 00:17:25,537
I'll get straight to the point
because this is important,

426
00:17:25,538 --> 00:17:26,894
and that appears to be
an ice cream cake.

427
00:17:26,928 --> 00:17:28,570
Well, it's not!

428
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:31,527
Okay. I present to you

429
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:34,931
"Stop in the name of life."

430
00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:37,183
Kick it.

431
00:17:37,217 --> 00:17:38,818
Clive Bixby.

432
00:17:38,869 --> 00:17:43,105
Can I meet you at Harry's bar
in two minutes?

433
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,908
Baby, I can do anything
in two minutes.

434
00:17:45,943 --> 00:17:47,543
- Ooh.
- Oh.

435
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:49,078
I'll just speed through

436
00:17:49,112 --> 00:17:51,047
the intersection of
Greenleaf and Bristol.

437
00:17:51,081 --> 00:17:54,503
It's easy 'cause there's no stop sign.

438
00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,557
I love being a kid.

439
00:17:57,558 --> 00:17:59,406
I have my whole life ahead of me.

440
00:18:04,492 --> 00:18:06,265
No!

441
00:18:06,316 --> 00:18:07,650
No!

442
00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:11,871
No!

443
00:18:13,328 --> 00:18:14,666
Okay. Well...

444
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:15,929
Powerful.

445
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:20,867
And unconventional,
but I believe it makes our point.

446
00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,868
So what do you say?

447
00:18:22,886 --> 00:18:26,788
Well, the kid was all right.
I didn't care for you so much.

448
00:18:26,789 --> 00:18:28,500
But if I were to give a stop sign

449
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:31,377
- to everybody who wanted a stop sign...
- Mm-hmm.

450
00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,967
This city would grind to a halt.

451
00:18:33,968 --> 00:18:35,194
- I understand, sir, but--
- Thank you, ma'am.

452
00:18:35,195 --> 00:18:36,747
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Allow me. Allow me.

453
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:37,620
Ladies and gentlemen,

454
00:18:37,872 --> 00:18:39,992
- I've lived with this woman
for 20 years. - Mm-hmm.

455
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,897
If she wants a stop sign...

456
00:18:42,626 --> 00:18:43,893
There's gonna be a stop sign.

457
00:18:43,928 --> 00:18:45,178
- Mm-hmm.
- He's right.

458
00:18:45,212 --> 00:18:47,026
- Listen to the man.
- Yeah.

459
00:18:47,027 --> 00:18:48,783
Still--no good?

460
00:18:48,784 --> 00:18:49,848
No bueno?

461
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:53,542
I'm home!

462
00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:55,704
Oh, hey. Did you find Stella?

463
00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:57,198
- Safe and sound.
- Mm.

464
00:18:58,549 --> 00:19:00,291
Oh!

465
00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:01,096
Hey!

466
00:19:01,233 --> 00:19:04,552
I did it! I left the mess.
Aren't you proud of me?

467
00:19:04,586 --> 00:19:06,554
I sure am. Good for you!

468
00:19:06,588 --> 00:19:08,088
You know, it wasn't easy at first,

469
00:19:08,107 --> 00:19:09,690
but I just-- I took Lily to the park,

470
00:19:09,725 --> 00:19:12,170
and I completely
put it out of my mind.

471
00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:14,695
And I think
I really cleared a hurdle today.

472
00:19:14,730 --> 00:19:16,781
Oh, that's great.
I'm super proud of you,

473
00:19:16,815 --> 00:19:19,380
And you're--and you're not even
tempted to clean it up now?

474
00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:20,501
- No!
- That's great.

475
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:22,251
No, not now that you're home.

476
00:19:22,252 --> 00:19:24,360
So guess I'd better get started.

477
00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:25,139
Yeah.

478
00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:33,580
I don't like it.

479
00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:36,107
It's so gross.

480
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,643
Oh, my god.

481
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:38,245
What?

482
00:19:38,246 --> 00:19:40,979
I was right.
You wanted me to clean it up.

483
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,781
Oh, that's preposterous.

484
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,749
I will not stand here
and take this from you.

485
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:48,967
Oh, Cam!
"Life is messy. I love chaos."

486
00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:51,569
You are so full of it.
Well, you know what?

487
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:55,527
That's all right. No worries.
Hey, come on.

488
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,428
- Come on. Just embrace it.
It's life. - Oh, no!

489
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,064
Oh! Okay, now that is gratuitous.

490
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:00,782
- Oh, it's okay. No!
- That's Lily's favorite cereal.

491
00:20:00,816 --> 00:20:02,267
This is ridiculous.

492
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:05,253
Relax! Hey, Lily! Honey, come here!

493
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:08,139
Sweetheart,
do you want a princess hat?

494
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,557
Yes! Yes! Yes!

495
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,809
Okay.

496
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,777
Oh. Oh, okay.
That--that is enough! No!

497
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,346
You've proven your point.
I don't like to clean up.

498
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,845
It's smelly, it's sticky,
and after I eat,

499
00:20:16,846 --> 00:20:18,487
I'm tired,
and I just want to lay down.

500
00:20:18,488 --> 00:20:20,190
And you put it off,
knowing that I would do it?

501
00:20:20,224 --> 00:20:22,091
Yes! Are you happy?

502
00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:25,061
Yes... I... Am.

503
00:20:31,742 --> 00:20:35,344
Hi. I'm Ellen Roberts
from the adoption agency.

504
00:20:35,612 --> 00:20:38,581
I'm... Here for the home visit.

505
00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:40,583
Oh!

506
00:20:41,592 --> 00:20:43,051
I might need to tweak my system.

507
00:20:47,411 --> 00:20:49,043
Hey, dad. Think fast.

508
00:20:51,533 --> 00:20:52,958
Sacagawea!

509
00:20:56,984 --> 00:20:57,996
Wait, wait, wait...
I need a break.

510
00:20:57,997 --> 00:21:00,724
Oh! John Philip Sousa!

511
00:21:00,725 --> 00:21:03,013
Oh, my... 78 views.

512
00:21:03,014 --> 00:21:04,828
We are on our way.

513
00:21:04,829 --> 00:21:06,094
Yeah, we are.

514
00:21:06,095 --> 00:21:09,019
You know what, Lukey?
My dad was away a lot.

515
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:11,055
And I'm not gonna do that to you.

516
00:21:14,144 --> 00:21:15,793
I'm gonna be the kind of dad...

517
00:21:17,816 --> 00:21:19,595
How many more of these
do you wanna do?

518
00:21:20,677 --> 00:21:24,177
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com