1 00:00:01,988 --> 00:00:03,121 I'm starving. 2 00:00:03,189 --> 00:00:04,289 Any chance that's for me? 3 00:00:04,357 --> 00:00:05,490 Oh, no. It is for mom. 4 00:00:05,558 --> 00:00:07,438 I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight, 5 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:08,860 and I'm gonna need her on my side. 6 00:00:08,929 --> 00:00:10,169 I never realized the forethought 7 00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:11,629 that went into being a disappointment. 8 00:00:11,698 --> 00:00:13,498 - Mm. ‭- Hey! 9 00:00:13,566 --> 00:00:15,233 - Hey! - Hey, Uncle Mitch. ‭What are you doing here? 10 00:00:15,302 --> 00:00:18,937 What do you mean? It's Uncle Mitchell's birthday fun day. 11 00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:21,873 We know! 12 00:00:21,942 --> 00:00:23,107 - Yeah! ‭- Yeah! 13 00:00:23,176 --> 00:00:25,243 We are so excited you are finally cashing this in. 14 00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:26,177 Me too. 15 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:27,894 We forgot to get Uncle Mitchell a present 16 00:00:27,963 --> 00:00:29,062 for his last birthday. 17 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,863 So, we came up with this great idea -- 18 00:00:30,932 --> 00:00:32,998 a coupon for a fun day with the three of us. 19 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,134 It was perfect because it was so sweet 20 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,069 and we'd never have to do it. 21 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,305 I hope you're ready for your first big surprise! 22 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,639 I am. 23 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,541 It's a super-fun omelet! 24 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:43,909 - Aww! ‭- Uh, yeah! 25 00:00:43,978 --> 00:00:47,546 And if you were wondering what is so super-fun about that, 26 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:50,282 is that it comes with a -- a side of, uh... 27 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,585 Luke's omelet dance! 28 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,021 Don't be shy. You've been practicing all week. 29 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,156 Come on. 30 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,325 Okay. Uh... 31 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,093 ♪ It's your birthday ♪ 32 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,294 ♪ I'm an omelet ♪ 33 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,095 Oh. 34 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,131 ♪ It's your birthday ♪ 35 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,932 ♪ I'm an omelet ♪ 36 00:01:07,001 --> 00:01:08,901 ♪ It's your birthday ♪ 37 00:01:08,970 --> 00:01:10,202 This is a living nightmare. 38 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:11,271 Why would he just show up? 39 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,638 Shouldn't he have given us some notice? 40 00:01:12,707 --> 00:01:14,073 I kind of remember him calling about it, 41 00:01:14,142 --> 00:01:15,407 but I would've put it in my phone -- 42 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:16,942 - Oh, there it is. ‭- Of course. 43 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:18,691 Oh, my god. I'm supposed to be cat-sitting. 44 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,045 We have to figure out something good. 45 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,614 He's the first to call us on our birthdays, 46 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,682 and he always gets us amazing presents. 47 00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,951 Are you even listening to me? 48 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,753 How long can a cat go without eating? 49 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:30,523 Haley, he is the best uncle there is. 50 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,858 This cannot be our present. 51 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,326 ♪ It's your birthday ♪ 52 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,962 ♪ I'm an omelet, it's your birthday ♪ 53 00:01:37,031 --> 00:01:39,131 I don't know what's happening, but I love it. 54 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,533 - ♪ It's your birthday ♪ - ♪ It's my birthday ♪ 55 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,802 - ♪ I'm an omelet ♪ - ♪ You're an omelet ♪ 56 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:54,041 Sync and corrections by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 57 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,817 [ Giggling ] 58 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,452 If you're going to keep giggling, I'll do my own nails. 59 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,688 I'm sorry -- it's just funny, the juxtaposition. 60 00:02:02,757 --> 00:02:05,257 I get it -- I'm Asian. Ha ha ha. 61 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,326 [ Doorbell rings ] 62 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:07,993 It's racist, daddy. 63 00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,495 Sorry. 64 00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:12,298 Lily, look who it is -- our lovely Canadian guests. 65 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:13,366 Please come in. 66 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,633 How is everything upstairs? 67 00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,101 It's like a palace up there. 68 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,337 I keep expecting to run into Gordon Pinsent. 69 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,240 I'm sorry. 70 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,175 Is he not a big movie star down here? 71 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:26,011 No. But thank you for Ryan Reynolds. [ Chuckles ] 72 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,647 One little thing -- we're going to see the handprints 73 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,716 at the Chinese theater, and I'm worried 74 00:02:30,785 --> 00:02:33,686 it's going to look disrespectful if Rob wears shorts. 75 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,522 Honey, it's 55 degrees out. I'm not wearing long pants. 76 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,157 You're fine. It's Hollywood. 77 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,059 There'll be people there with no pants. 78 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,127 Hi, Lily. 79 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,828 Lily, say hi to Monte. 80 00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:43,897 Hi. 81 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,666 I'm... sorry. She's never this shy. 82 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,002 No, we're sorry. Seems like something scared her. 83 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,707 Ohhhh. 84 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:55,775 [ Chuckles ] 85 00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,710 It was adorable. 86 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,880 Lily was clearly smitten with that little Canadian Monte. 87 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:03,182 Just heard that. Delightful. 88 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,951 It was a rite of passage that I had been looking forward to -- 89 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,820 my daughter's first crush. 90 00:03:07,889 --> 00:03:09,355 And I wanted to be there for her 91 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,323 in a way that no one was there for me. 92 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,959 Of course, my first crush was on a statue 93 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,929 of a confederate general in front of a courthouse. 94 00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:18,397 That's the same year they put up 95 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:21,267 the "do not climb the statue" signs. 96 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:24,837 Hey. Sorry I'm late. 97 00:03:24,906 --> 00:03:27,106 Is this shirt okay? I got another one in the car. 98 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,941 It's just lunch. Calm down. 99 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,976 Your boyfriend's gonna love it. 100 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,479 Last summer, Phil and Ii went to Cabo for five days, 101 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,815 and we met Tom and Lisa Delaney, and we had so much fun, 102 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,084 we make sure to see them every time they're in town. 103 00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:41,420 - Tom's a hugely successful investment banker. - Yeah. 104 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:44,256 He does tons of charity work, he runs a marathon in 3:24, 105 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,025 and he flies his own helicopter. 106 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,793 Yeah, and Lisa... 107 00:03:47,862 --> 00:03:49,595 Yeah, she is one lucky lady. 108 00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:51,697 Before they get here, 109 00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:54,433 can you promise me you won't pick up the check? 110 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,502 Why? 111 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,069 Oh, honey, I like them, 112 00:03:57,138 --> 00:03:59,738 but we've seen them three times since Cabo. 113 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,675 Every time, they order the most expensive stuff. 114 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,677 They are the richest people we know -- 115 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,011 Thank you. 116 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,014 ...And yet I have not seen him reach for the check once. 117 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,816 Tom has trouble reaching for stuff. 118 00:04:10,885 --> 00:04:12,851 He hurt his shoulder pitching in college. 119 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,119 Division 1. 120 00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:15,588 You feel a need to pick up the check 121 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:16,755 because you're intimidated by him 122 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,223 and you want to prove something. 123 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:20,225 That's crazy. I just don't like it when the bill sits there. 124 00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,294 It's awkward. 125 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,661 You can't just roll over on something 126 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,129 'cause it makes you feel uncomfortable. 127 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:25,331 Whatever you want. 128 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,399 Hello, beautiful. 129 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,933 - Ohh! ‭- Hi, handsome. 130 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,736 [ Both laugh ] 131 00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:32,071 Hey, you two. 132 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:33,139 - Hey! ‭- Hi! 133 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,306 - I missed you. - I missed you, too. 134 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,175 - Hi! ‭- Oh, my gosh. 135 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:38,477 It is so great to see you guys. 136 00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,045 - And you. ‭- Let's get some champagne. 137 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,081 - Let's do it. ‭- Mm-hmm. 138 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:45,884 Okay, that's it. 139 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,820 If you hate it so much, just tell me. 140 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,722 Fine. Your cologne is horrible. 141 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,757 You smell like a stripper died in a cabin. 142 00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:53,359 I'm not talking about my cologne. 143 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,862 That's why I hang back and wait for him to get specific. 144 00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:57,830 My mustache. 145 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,398 I've been growing it for weeks, 146 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,800 and the two of you have been conspicuously silent. 147 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:02,968 It's very dashing. 148 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,403 What mustache? 149 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,939 Right, Jay. Like I'm supposed to believe you didn't see it. 150 00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,707 You got me. 151 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:10,109 Check you later, Serpico. 152 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:11,777 [ Laughing ] Serpico! 153 00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,645 You don't even know who that is. 154 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,280 Jay. 155 00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:17,666 Where are you going with your golf clubs? 156 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:18,634 Take a shot in the dark. 157 00:05:18,702 --> 00:05:20,335 But we have a playdate. 158 00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:21,904 Really? We just had one last night. 159 00:05:21,972 --> 00:05:23,272 Not that I'm saying no -- 160 00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:25,307 just quicker turnaround than usual. 161 00:05:25,376 --> 00:05:26,975 A playdate for Joe. 162 00:05:27,044 --> 00:05:29,178 And both parents are coming, so you have to be here. 163 00:05:29,246 --> 00:05:30,479 You've got to be kidding me. 164 00:05:30,549 --> 00:05:32,348 I mean, it's bad enough that these kids today 165 00:05:32,417 --> 00:05:34,184 have to make a date to play with each other. 166 00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:35,919 They can't go in the street and kick a can 167 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,555 or drool over a friend's centerfold of Kim Novak. 168 00:05:38,623 --> 00:05:40,190 Say something I understand. 169 00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:43,026 Why do we all have to sit around and watch our kids play? 170 00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:44,994 Because that's what people do now. 171 00:05:45,063 --> 00:05:46,930 And Joe is very excited about it. 172 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,565 His first real friend. 173 00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:50,533 - Gloria... ‭- What's the problem? 174 00:05:50,602 --> 00:05:52,435 I like the mom, and everybody says 175 00:05:52,504 --> 00:05:54,671 that you and the dad have a lot in common. 176 00:05:54,739 --> 00:05:55,838 It's going to be fun. 177 00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:57,407 [ Doorbell rings ] 178 00:05:59,678 --> 00:06:00,710 Come in, everybody. 179 00:06:00,779 --> 00:06:02,011 Hi! 180 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,914 Gloria, this is my husband, Marty. 181 00:06:04,983 --> 00:06:06,282 Look at you. 182 00:06:06,351 --> 00:06:07,750 Pretty as a pinup. 183 00:06:07,819 --> 00:06:10,420 And where's the lucky husband I've been hearing about? 184 00:06:10,488 --> 00:06:12,255 Marty, that's Jay. 185 00:06:12,324 --> 00:06:14,390 Oh, good. You are old. 186 00:06:14,459 --> 00:06:16,893 [ Chuckling ] I was scared they were exaggerating. 187 00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:18,027 [ Chuckles ] 188 00:06:19,331 --> 00:06:23,233 Um, so... I don't want to spoil any surprises, 189 00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:24,968 but, uh, if you had to guess, 190 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,437 what -- what would you say we're doing today? 191 00:06:27,505 --> 00:06:30,340 Yeah, let's just see if you pick what we have planned. 192 00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:31,307 Let's see. 193 00:06:31,376 --> 00:06:32,376 Oh, my god. 194 00:06:32,377 --> 00:06:33,710 Is it that farm in Oxnard 195 00:06:33,778 --> 00:06:36,112 where Cam and Lily and I went strawberry-picking? 196 00:06:36,181 --> 00:06:37,780 We had the most wonderful -- 197 00:06:37,849 --> 00:06:38,948 [ Tires squeal ] Ow. 198 00:06:39,017 --> 00:06:41,751 Sorry, but you are just so great at this game. 199 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:44,487 But it's not strawberry season, so it can't be that. 200 00:06:44,556 --> 00:06:48,191 Which is exactly why we didn't pick that. 201 00:06:48,260 --> 00:06:50,093 Okay, so... guess again. 202 00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:51,461 Wait -- do I smell the ocean? 203 00:06:51,529 --> 00:06:54,230 Are you taking me to that fabulous Carlton's on the beach? 204 00:06:54,299 --> 00:06:55,131 They have the most -- 205 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,200 [ tires squeal ] Ow! 206 00:06:56,268 --> 00:06:57,800 Well, we're not making any promises, 207 00:06:57,869 --> 00:07:00,203 but that would be a pretty good guess. 208 00:07:00,272 --> 00:07:02,572 If they weren't closed for renovations. 209 00:07:02,641 --> 00:07:04,540 Damn it! Think, uncle Mitchell. 210 00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:05,842 It's getting a little warm in here. 211 00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:07,110 Do you mind if we crack a window? 212 00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,678 Unless I've already done that with my head. 213 00:07:08,747 --> 00:07:09,747 [ Chuckles ] 214 00:07:09,814 --> 00:07:10,947 We -- we need to stop for gas, okay? 215 00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:12,548 Just keep your blindfold on, Uncle Mitchell. 216 00:07:12,617 --> 00:07:13,683 Okay. 217 00:07:13,752 --> 00:07:15,918 Fine. This is fine. 218 00:07:15,987 --> 00:07:17,220 Fill 'er up! 219 00:07:17,289 --> 00:07:18,655 [ Southern accent ] Yes, ma'am. 220 00:07:18,723 --> 00:07:19,723 Seriously? 221 00:07:21,929 --> 00:07:23,427 We can't just keep driving around. 222 00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:24,695 We need to go somewhere. 223 00:07:24,752 --> 00:07:26,518 Focus, people. What does uncle Mitchell like? 224 00:07:26,526 --> 00:07:27,992 I don't know. Gay things, right? 225 00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:29,415 What's the gayest thing you can think of? 226 00:07:29,484 --> 00:07:30,750 [ Scoffs ] He's married to it. 227 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,017 Hey, look. 228 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:36,622 Everybody loves stars. We could take him on a tour. 229 00:07:36,691 --> 00:07:37,990 Driving around looking at houses 230 00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:39,558 isn't much of a birthday fun day. 231 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,060 We need more time. 232 00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:43,429 Let's knock him out. 233 00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:52,238 Charlize Theron, Harrison Ford, Halle Berry... 234 00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,826 None of these seem very Uncle Mitchell. 235 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,040 What does Uncle Mitchell like? 236 00:07:55,109 --> 00:07:55,975 Gay things. 237 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,010 Then here's the mother lode. 238 00:07:58,079 --> 00:08:00,146 Barbra Streisand! Perfect! 239 00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,180 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 240 00:08:01,249 --> 00:08:02,609 How do we know these maps are real? 241 00:08:02,617 --> 00:08:04,383 You think I built this whole business on fake maps? 242 00:08:04,452 --> 00:08:06,185 What business? You got a sign and a lawn chair. 243 00:08:06,254 --> 00:08:09,455 Can we wrap this up? I might still have a cat to feed. 244 00:08:09,524 --> 00:08:13,592 Phil must have taken 100 pictures of me on the beach 245 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,395 just to get one shot of the topless women behind me. 246 00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:18,164 There were topless women behind you? 247 00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:19,465 [ Both laugh ] Uh-huh. 248 00:08:19,534 --> 00:08:21,267 Here you go. I'll just take this when you're ready. 249 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,202 Oh, okay. Thank you. 250 00:08:25,273 --> 00:08:27,439 So, what do you two have planned for the rest of today? 251 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,041 Nothing... really. 252 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:30,910 But if you need to wind it up, it's -- 253 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,511 Nah. We're good. 254 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,279 [ Chuckles ] 255 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:34,914 Yeah, good. Good. 256 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,817 Do you guys, uh, you have any fun trips planned or... 257 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,985 Well, I was planning on visiting the restroom, 258 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:42,521 and if all goes well, then maybe Spain in April. 259 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,756 Adios, amigo. 260 00:08:43,825 --> 00:08:44,825 [ Laughter ] 261 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,559 ¡Vaya con Dios! 262 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:47,660 [ Chuckles ] 263 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,695 You want to keep that hand, amigo? 264 00:08:49,764 --> 00:08:51,564 And France was just beautiful. 265 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,566 Marty: I hadn't been there since D-day. 266 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,000 Took me the same amount of time 267 00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:56,502 to get across that beach, though. 268 00:08:56,571 --> 00:08:57,369 [ Both chuckle ] 269 00:08:57,438 --> 00:08:58,604 You were in the service? 270 00:08:58,673 --> 00:08:59,939 Yeah, but different war. 271 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,140 Oh, Korea. Me too. 272 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:02,842 No, next war. Keep going. 273 00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,311 Anybody want some cheese? 274 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,680 Not me. Gums up the old ticker. 275 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,481 [ Chuckles ] Jay knows about that. 276 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,683 No idea. Love the stuff. 277 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,218 Just be careful with the almonds. 278 00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:13,519 You may break the denture. 279 00:09:13,588 --> 00:09:15,321 Uh, it's not a denture. It's an implant. 280 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,869 How many times have we been over this? 281 00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:18,490 You forget stuff, too, huh? 282 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,825 I never forget anything. 283 00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:21,934 When we park at the mall, we have to take a picture. 284 00:09:21,963 --> 00:09:24,129 Jay, Gloria tells me you have kids from your first marriage. 285 00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:25,198 So does Marty. 286 00:09:25,266 --> 00:09:28,300 Yeah. My oldest is, uh, 66. 287 00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:30,736 Was. She passed last year. 288 00:09:30,805 --> 00:09:31,805 Oh, I'm so sorry. 289 00:09:31,806 --> 00:09:33,046 Well, that's young. What was it? 290 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:34,139 Natural causes. 291 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:36,075 I blame most of it on stress. 292 00:09:36,447 --> 00:09:39,248 So much more pressure than there was years ago. 293 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,383 Back in our day -- 294 00:09:40,451 --> 00:09:41,784 Different day. Not the same day. 295 00:09:41,853 --> 00:09:43,553 Actually more your dead daughter's day. 296 00:09:43,621 --> 00:09:45,087 May she rest in peace. 297 00:09:47,525 --> 00:09:49,092 Mom, we need to talk. 298 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,293 What are you doing here? 299 00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:51,561 You're supposed to be watching the kids. 300 00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:53,596 Wesley is a bad influence on Joe. 301 00:09:53,665 --> 00:09:55,364 He's rude and disrespectful, 302 00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,333 and I think you should nip this friendship in the bud. 303 00:09:57,402 --> 00:09:59,102 He made fun of your mustache, didn't he? 304 00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:01,137 What kind of 4-year-old knows the word "wispy"? 305 00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:02,206 [ Sighs ] 306 00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:04,140 Manny, look at me. 307 00:10:05,643 --> 00:10:08,544 This close, and I still couldn't see it. 308 00:10:08,613 --> 00:10:10,713 It's just for a little while longer, okay? 309 00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:11,681 Fine. 310 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,551 But if they mess with me, I'm gonna mess with them. 311 00:10:17,422 --> 00:10:20,389 How many times a night do you have to get up to pee? 312 00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:21,757 I'm up to four or five. 313 00:10:21,826 --> 00:10:23,893 Not me, old-timer. Twice tops. 314 00:10:23,962 --> 00:10:25,882 Once last month, I even slept through the night. 315 00:10:25,897 --> 00:10:27,063 Now, I'm gonna refresh this 316 00:10:27,132 --> 00:10:29,031 'cause I got nothing to worry about. 317 00:10:30,401 --> 00:10:31,767 I'm literally in a pissing contest 318 00:10:31,836 --> 00:10:33,936 with the son of a bitch. 319 00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:36,873 Why are we eating off the good china? 320 00:10:36,941 --> 00:10:38,461 Because we're having company for lunch. 321 00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:39,842 Who's coming? 322 00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:42,812 Okay, I invited Monte and his family from upstairs. 323 00:10:42,881 --> 00:10:44,247 What?! Why?! 324 00:10:44,315 --> 00:10:47,450 Because a daddy can tell when his little girl has a crush. 325 00:10:47,519 --> 00:10:48,951 I don't know what you're talking about. 326 00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:50,220 Hey, Lily, where are you going? 327 00:10:50,255 --> 00:10:51,721 Look, I want you to be able to talk to me 328 00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:53,022 about this kind of stuff. 329 00:10:53,091 --> 00:10:55,324 It's completely natural and healthy 330 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,260 to have feelings for someone. 331 00:10:57,328 --> 00:10:59,662 And you know what? I think he likes you, too. 332 00:10:59,731 --> 00:11:01,291 You just have to draw him out, you know? 333 00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:02,932 - Flirt a little. ‭- How? 334 00:11:03,001 --> 00:11:04,534 Uh, well, you just sit down in front of him, 335 00:11:04,602 --> 00:11:07,136 look him straight in the eye, put a big smile on your face, 336 00:11:07,205 --> 00:11:08,304 and ask him some questions, 337 00:11:08,373 --> 00:11:10,940 like, "so, do you have any hobbies? 338 00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:14,010 Is Canada really as beautiful as they say it is? 339 00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:16,379 Are you a fan of the bacon?" [ Giggles ] 340 00:11:16,447 --> 00:11:17,980 Why are you blinking like that? 341 00:11:18,049 --> 00:11:19,849 Well, because I’m sending him signals. 342 00:11:19,918 --> 00:11:21,050 Okay, what else? Oh. 343 00:11:21,119 --> 00:11:22,785 Definitely compliment him on his outfit, 344 00:11:22,854 --> 00:11:23,920 laugh at his jokes. 345 00:11:23,988 --> 00:11:25,121 What if they aren't funny? 346 00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:26,889 Oh, honey, the cute ones rarely are. 347 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:28,558 God doesn't give with both hands. 348 00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:31,627 Okay, do not have a heart attack, 349 00:11:31,696 --> 00:11:33,529 but when you take off your blindfold, 350 00:11:33,598 --> 00:11:36,432 you will be standing in front of none other 351 00:11:36,501 --> 00:11:38,868 than the legendary superstar... 352 00:11:38,937 --> 00:11:41,037 - Who? ‭- ...The one and only... 353 00:11:41,105 --> 00:11:43,372 - Who? - ...Ms. Barbra Streisand-- 354 00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:44,507 - Oh, my! ‭- ...'S house. 355 00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:45,942 Ah -- oh. 356 00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:47,677 Oh, are you serious? She actually lives here? 357 00:11:47,745 --> 00:11:48,778 - Yeah. ‭- Well... 358 00:11:48,846 --> 00:11:49,912 I can't believe it. 359 00:11:49,981 --> 00:11:51,314 Dude, look. Her gate is open. 360 00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:53,382 We should get a picture of you in her driveway. 361 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,685 How awesome of a birthday fun day gift would that be? 362 00:11:55,753 --> 00:11:57,420 Okay. You know what? Pepper would die. 363 00:11:57,488 --> 00:11:59,608 He loved "Yentl" so much, he had a second Bar Mitzvah. 364 00:11:59,657 --> 00:12:00,657 - Oh. ‭- Yeah. 365 00:12:00,692 --> 00:12:01,732 Okay, let's -- let's do it. 366 00:12:01,793 --> 00:12:02,758 Okay, right in front of the house. 367 00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:03,926 Yeah. This is fantastic. 368 00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:05,828 ♪ Pepper, can you hear me? ♪ 369 00:12:05,897 --> 00:12:07,563 ♪ Pepper, can you see me? ♪ 370 00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:09,765 ♪ Pepper, I am standing in the driveway ♪ 371 00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:11,133 Excuse me. Can I help you? 372 00:12:11,202 --> 00:12:12,802 I'm so sorry. We were just -- 373 00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:14,670 Oh, my god. You're Ray Liotta. 374 00:12:14,739 --> 00:12:16,706 Wow. He really is a big fan. 375 00:12:16,774 --> 00:12:18,207 He even knows the name of her gardener. 376 00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:19,276 Ah. 377 00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:21,431 "Goodfellas"? 378 00:12:21,778 --> 00:12:22,778 "Something wild"? 379 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:24,652 - "Field of dreams"? - "Field of dreams." 380 00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,521 - Never seen it. - Okay, - We're really not that old. 381 00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:28,456 Look, Ray Liotta is a very fine actor, 382 00:12:28,596 --> 00:12:30,429 and we have taken up enough of his time. 383 00:12:30,453 --> 00:12:33,287 Stop saying my full name like you have to keep telling them who I am. 384 00:12:33,323 --> 00:12:33,823 Well... 385 00:12:33,832 --> 00:12:35,933 So, wait -- you live with Barbra Streisand? 386 00:12:36,001 --> 00:12:38,235 - Y-y-you got the map. ‭- Yeah. 387 00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:41,071 She lived here for about 2 months 15 years ago. 388 00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:43,607 You think the bastards would update these things 389 00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:46,076 to reflect the current movie-star owners. 390 00:12:46,145 --> 00:12:47,145 Thank you. Come on, kids. 391 00:12:47,179 --> 00:12:48,412 We're very sorry to have bothered you. 392 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,580 No, no, no. I don't want you to leave empty-handed. 393 00:12:50,649 --> 00:12:51,882 Come on in for a selfie. 394 00:12:51,951 --> 00:12:53,317 Oh. All right. Um... 395 00:12:53,385 --> 00:12:54,385 - Here. ‭- O-okay. 396 00:12:54,605 --> 00:12:56,138 When you see my movies later, 397 00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,507 you're gonna realize that this is a special moment. 398 00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:00,275 Come on. And "cheeeeese"! 399 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,543 Cheese! 400 00:13:01,612 --> 00:13:03,612 See? That's an old actor's trick for a perfect smile. 401 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,580 Except you and I are smiling. You guys aren't smiling. 402 00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:06,715 W-what's the matter? 403 00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:08,183 It's not you, Mr. Liotta. 404 00:13:08,252 --> 00:13:10,585 We just really feel like we let our uncle down. 405 00:13:10,654 --> 00:13:13,488 We were supposed to plan a special day for his birthday, 406 00:13:13,557 --> 00:13:14,656 and we totally flaked. 407 00:13:14,725 --> 00:13:15,790 We're so sorry. 408 00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:17,459 We tried to figure out where to take you, 409 00:13:17,494 --> 00:13:19,895 and we know how much you love Barbra Streisand. 410 00:13:19,963 --> 00:13:22,464 You always give us the most awesome gifts. 411 00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:23,431 We suck. 412 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,533 Don't say that. 413 00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:26,241 I kind of figured you didn't have anything 414 00:13:26,303 --> 00:13:27,969 by the second verse of the omelet dance. 415 00:13:28,038 --> 00:13:29,304 Hey, I've had no training. 416 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,439 But then I saw how hard you were trying to make me happy, 417 00:13:31,508 --> 00:13:34,509 and I just love hanging out with you guys. 418 00:13:34,578 --> 00:13:36,978 Plus, I did get to meet Ray Lio-- 419 00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:38,047 Ray. 420 00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:39,848 You're also gonna meet Barbra. 421 00:13:39,917 --> 00:13:41,116 What? No. 422 00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:42,945 I've been meaning to go by her house anyway. 423 00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:44,252 I've got a bunch of her mail. 424 00:13:44,321 --> 00:13:45,654 Oh, you don't have to do that. 425 00:13:45,722 --> 00:13:46,955 No, no, no, no. 426 00:13:47,024 --> 00:13:48,190 You remind me of -- 427 00:13:48,258 --> 00:13:50,158 of someone that I loved when I was a kid. 428 00:13:50,227 --> 00:13:51,593 I had a funny uncle, too. 429 00:13:51,662 --> 00:13:52,928 Oh. 430 00:13:52,996 --> 00:13:54,629 This is so nice of you. 431 00:13:54,698 --> 00:13:55,830 Well, I must admit, 432 00:13:55,899 --> 00:13:58,200 I-I have a little bit of an ulterior motive. 433 00:13:58,268 --> 00:14:00,802 I think Lily has a giant crush on your little guy. 434 00:14:00,871 --> 00:14:02,637 I kind of wanted to set them up. 435 00:14:02,706 --> 00:14:04,472 I know -- I'm a hopeless romantic. 436 00:14:04,541 --> 00:14:06,107 Oh! That's so cute! 437 00:14:06,176 --> 00:14:08,577 I remember my first crush. It was at summer camp. 438 00:14:08,645 --> 00:14:10,712 I lived in Toronto, and he was from Edmonton, 439 00:14:10,781 --> 00:14:12,147 so it was very star-crossed. 440 00:14:12,216 --> 00:14:14,149 Just like our little Romeo and Juliet. 441 00:14:14,218 --> 00:14:15,917 He was the first boy I ever loved. 442 00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:17,719 Billy Macklin. [ Inhales sharply ] 443 00:14:17,788 --> 00:14:20,255 God. I haven't thought of him in years. 444 00:14:20,324 --> 00:14:21,756 Do you have any hobbies? 445 00:14:21,825 --> 00:14:23,191 Well, I like rock climbing. 446 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,292 I collect Pokémon -- 447 00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:25,827 I hear Canada's nice. 448 00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:27,028 Do you like bacon? 449 00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:28,196 Okay, you know what, I'm just gonna -- 450 00:14:28,265 --> 00:14:29,798 After that summer, things got pretty rough. 451 00:14:29,866 --> 00:14:31,600 Dad died, mom started drinking. 452 00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:33,134 [ Voice breaking ] It was a lot to handle. 453 00:14:33,203 --> 00:14:35,403 I love your shirt. Is it new? 454 00:14:35,472 --> 00:14:37,606 Oh, I think this shirt's older than you are. 455 00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:39,207 Oh! Ha ha ha ha! 456 00:14:39,276 --> 00:14:41,276 Okay, Lily, can I see you in the bedroom, please? 457 00:14:41,345 --> 00:14:44,379 Older than I am -- Oh, Rob, you're killing me! 458 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:46,348 Okay, we'll be right back. 459 00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:47,515 And enough. 460 00:14:48,952 --> 00:14:50,518 What are you doing out there? 461 00:14:50,587 --> 00:14:52,187 What you told me. 462 00:14:52,256 --> 00:14:53,955 I think it's going pretty good. 463 00:14:54,024 --> 00:14:55,724 I thought your crush was on Monte. 464 00:14:55,792 --> 00:14:57,392 You can't flirt with a grown man. 465 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,293 But you said -- 466 00:14:58,362 --> 00:15:00,095 No. It's not appropriate. 467 00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,764 Oh, no! I'm never talking to a boy ever again! 468 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,966 Lily, you have nothing to be ashamed of. 469 00:15:05,035 --> 00:15:07,969 If -- if anything, this is -- this is my fault. 470 00:15:08,038 --> 00:15:11,673 I thought you meant Monte, and I confused you. 471 00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:12,742 [ Sighs ] 472 00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:14,276 Can I... tell you a little secret? 473 00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:16,011 No! 474 00:15:16,079 --> 00:15:18,046 Well, when I made a move on my first crush, 475 00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,314 it went way worse. 476 00:15:19,383 --> 00:15:22,284 It was New Year's Eve, and I went to give him a kiss, 477 00:15:22,352 --> 00:15:24,352 and my tongue froze to his cheek. 478 00:15:25,922 --> 00:15:27,422 Why did it freeze? 479 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,257 It was cold, and he was made out of bronze, 480 00:15:29,326 --> 00:15:31,806 [ voice breaking ] And I don't want to talk about this anymore. 481 00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:34,796 What are you doing? 482 00:15:34,865 --> 00:15:37,065 Marty said guys our age can't do 10 sit-ups. 483 00:15:37,134 --> 00:15:39,701 I don't remember saying it, but it sounds like me. 484 00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,503 Jay, may I speak with you for a moment? 485 00:15:41,571 --> 00:15:42,937 All right. 486 00:15:44,608 --> 00:15:45,874 [ Grunts ] 487 00:15:45,942 --> 00:15:46,942 Ah, crap! 488 00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:48,410 Uh, here. L-let me help you. 489 00:15:48,478 --> 00:15:49,944 Aah! I'm going down! 490 00:15:50,013 --> 00:15:52,347 Aah! Vicky! 491 00:15:52,416 --> 00:15:54,849 What is wrong with you today? 492 00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:56,217 I'm sick of Marty lumping me 493 00:15:56,286 --> 00:15:57,819 into the same age category as him. 494 00:15:57,888 --> 00:15:59,454 "Guys like us," "back in our day." 495 00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,189 I'm a baby boomer, for god's sake. 496 00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:02,891 I know all the words to "light my fire." 497 00:16:02,959 --> 00:16:04,926 Jay, you have to stop thinking only about you. 498 00:16:04,995 --> 00:16:07,629 Yeah, I know, I know. I should think about Joe. 499 00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:08,698 No -- me! 500 00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:10,332 Do you know that Vicky and I 501 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,268 are the oldest moms in the class -- by a lot? 502 00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:14,235 So? 503 00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:15,337 This might surprise you, 504 00:16:15,405 --> 00:16:17,772 but aging is also a big deal for women. 505 00:16:17,841 --> 00:16:19,574 I need Vicky to be my friend. 506 00:16:19,643 --> 00:16:22,444 I feel out of place around all those young moms. 507 00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,346 And if you don't like her husband, 508 00:16:24,414 --> 00:16:26,014 maybe she'll stop liking me. 509 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,148 Gloria, I'm trying, but it's -- 510 00:16:27,217 --> 00:16:29,584 At least you're not the oldest dad. 511 00:16:29,653 --> 00:16:30,985 Can't you enjoy that? 512 00:16:31,054 --> 00:16:32,153 When was the last time 513 00:16:32,222 --> 00:16:34,889 that you were the young stud in the room? 514 00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:36,791 When I put mom in that nursing home. 515 00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,959 That was quite a rush. 516 00:16:38,028 --> 00:16:39,148 So, are you going to be nice? 517 00:16:39,162 --> 00:16:40,495 Yes. He's not a bad guy. 518 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,896 And really, how much longer 519 00:16:41,965 --> 00:16:43,398 am I gonna have to put up with him? 520 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,066 Ay, no, Jay. Don't say that. 521 00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:46,634 You're going to live a long life. 522 00:16:46,703 --> 00:16:48,370 Not me! Grandpa out there! 523 00:16:48,438 --> 00:16:49,771 Shh! He can hear you. 524 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:50,905 Hear what? 525 00:16:50,974 --> 00:16:52,440 You were talking about my mustache again? 526 00:16:52,509 --> 00:16:54,209 No, Manny. We love your mustache. 527 00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,477 Oh, hilarious. 528 00:16:55,545 --> 00:16:57,425 Tell me you like it now that I've shaved it off! 529 00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:01,236 Black mother and white father, but I've never met him. 530 00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:02,851 - Ah. - That's a story that should be out there more -- 531 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:04,559 white fathers who abandon their families. 532 00:17:05,489 --> 00:17:07,422 What else? What else? 533 00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:09,724 So, this is Walter. 534 00:17:09,793 --> 00:17:12,293 Just as I took over for Jeremy when his shift ended, 535 00:17:12,362 --> 00:17:13,828 he'll be taking over for me. 536 00:17:13,897 --> 00:17:14,996 Unless you're ready? 537 00:17:15,065 --> 00:17:17,599 I think we're still talking. But thanks. 538 00:17:18,435 --> 00:17:21,002 Walter? Could I ask you a quick question right over there? 539 00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:22,670 I'll be right back, too. 540 00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:25,540 Hey! I just need a minute alone with my husband. Thank you. 541 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,575 There is no way you are paying that bill. 542 00:17:27,644 --> 00:17:29,210 It has been out there forever, 543 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,146 and he hasn't even pretended to reach for his wallet. 544 00:17:31,214 --> 00:17:33,615 This is torture, Claire. I'll pay anything to end it. 545 00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:34,883 Stay strong. 546 00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:37,485 [ Grunting ] I'm weak. You married a weak man! 547 00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:38,653 Give it to me. Give it -- 548 00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:39,854 Phil -- 549 00:17:41,191 --> 00:17:42,424 No! Walter! Walter! 550 00:17:42,492 --> 00:17:43,525 Walter! 551 00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:44,593 D'ohh! 552 00:17:44,594 --> 00:17:46,494 Okay. Here's the thing. 553 00:17:46,563 --> 00:17:47,962 - We like hanging out -- - No, Claire! No! 554 00:17:48,031 --> 00:17:49,264 I know what this is about. 555 00:17:49,332 --> 00:17:51,172 Tom, you should have paid the check. It's rude. 556 00:17:51,234 --> 00:17:52,954 He's not rude. He's wonderful. I had to pay. 557 00:17:53,003 --> 00:17:54,003 Why? 558 00:17:54,037 --> 00:17:55,317 Phil, don't you say another word! 559 00:17:55,372 --> 00:17:56,638 - Ow! ‭- See? I told you. 560 00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:57,806 What the hell is going on here? 561 00:17:57,874 --> 00:17:59,007 - Nothing. - Phil? 562 00:17:59,075 --> 00:18:00,141 Fine -- if you have to know 563 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:02,410 every last detail about my life... 564 00:18:02,479 --> 00:18:04,599 I lost a bet to Tom in Cabo. Now I owe him five meals. 565 00:18:04,614 --> 00:18:06,181 - There -- we're done. ‭- That's it. 566 00:18:06,249 --> 00:18:08,149 Why didn't you just say that? 567 00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:10,618 Th-- there's no reason. I don't... 568 00:18:10,687 --> 00:18:12,520 What... was... the bet? 569 00:18:12,589 --> 00:18:15,490 Phil, I mean it -- don't say another word. 570 00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:17,025 They're gonna figure it out, Tom. 571 00:18:17,093 --> 00:18:19,194 - How could they figure out, Phil? ‭- They're gonna figure it out. 572 00:18:19,262 --> 00:18:21,963 We were drunk on margaritas, and we wanted to find out 573 00:18:22,032 --> 00:18:24,165 whose wife would eat the most crickets. 574 00:18:24,234 --> 00:18:25,366 - What?! - What?! 575 00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:26,901 Doesn't seem like they were circling that, Phil. 576 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,803 You were just g-grabbing crickets 577 00:18:28,872 --> 00:18:30,638 and sneaking them into our food? 578 00:18:30,707 --> 00:18:33,274 Not live ones. They were roasted. 579 00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:34,476 Oh, my god! 580 00:18:34,544 --> 00:18:35,743 You're disgusting people. 581 00:18:35,812 --> 00:18:37,812 You're missing the silver lining here, honey. 582 00:18:37,881 --> 00:18:39,147 I lost the bet. 583 00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,348 So I didn't eat crickets? 584 00:18:40,417 --> 00:18:41,417 You ate three. 585 00:18:41,485 --> 00:18:42,617 - Ohh! ‭- Lisa had six. 586 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:43,852 Six?! 587 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,119 You could've won with four! 588 00:18:45,188 --> 00:18:46,955 Baby, baby, I couldn't take that chance. 589 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,796 I'd like to give you two a little something to think about. 590 00:18:54,865 --> 00:18:56,764 Most of the food you eat is prepared by us. 591 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:57,999 Or by our private chef. 592 00:18:58,068 --> 00:18:59,334 But I-I like where you're going. 593 00:18:59,402 --> 00:19:01,836 Next time you take a bite of a big, juicy burger 594 00:19:01,905 --> 00:19:03,638 or dig into a bowl of spaghetti, 595 00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,827 there's gonna be an extra special ingredient in there, 596 00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:07,842 and it won't be love. 597 00:19:09,746 --> 00:19:10,879 Mm. 598 00:19:12,816 --> 00:19:14,516 [ Sighs ] 599 00:19:14,584 --> 00:19:15,517 How many did you get this time? 600 00:19:15,585 --> 00:19:16,618 Two crickets. 601 00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:18,587 Yes! 602 00:19:18,588 --> 00:19:20,555 [ Sighs ] 603 00:19:20,624 --> 00:19:22,290 Okay, this makes more sense. 604 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,325 Barbra would never leave her gate wide open. 605 00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:25,627 Ray: They're broken, okay? 606 00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:27,929 Don't make me regret bringing you here. 607 00:19:27,998 --> 00:19:29,130 [ Buzzer ] 608 00:19:29,199 --> 00:19:30,199 Man: Hello? 609 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:31,633 Is Barbra home? It's Ray Liotta. 610 00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:32,800 You know, from "Goodfellas." 611 00:19:32,869 --> 00:19:34,269 - "Something wild." - "Field of dreams." 612 00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:36,037 Barbra: Oh, I know who he is. What's up, Ray? 613 00:19:36,106 --> 00:19:37,372 Barbra, I have some of your mail 614 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,240 from when you used to live over at Cedarhurst. 615 00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:40,956 And I have a friend here that would like -- 616 00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:43,378 Just leave the mail by the gate. I'll send someone down. 617 00:19:43,446 --> 00:19:44,446 O-okay, but -- 618 00:19:44,447 --> 00:19:45,447 Oy. There's more? 619 00:19:45,482 --> 00:19:46,548 Uh, Ms. Streisand, hi. 620 00:19:46,616 --> 00:19:48,049 My -- my name is Mitchell Pritchett, 621 00:19:48,118 --> 00:19:50,552 and I have been a fan of yours since I can't even remember, 622 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,487 and -- oh, your artistry and integrity 623 00:19:52,556 --> 00:19:54,355 has inspired me my whole life, and I just -- 624 00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:57,358 Aaaah! I can't even believe I'm talking to you right now. 625 00:19:57,427 --> 00:19:59,861 Please. I'm just a regular person, like you. 626 00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:02,330 I have people put on my pants one leg at a time. 627 00:20:02,399 --> 00:20:03,665 [ Laughing ] That's so funny. 628 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:05,667 Barbra, today is his birthday! 629 00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:06,901 Well, technically, it was three weeks ago. 630 00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,069 - All right, you're blowing it. - Sorry. 631 00:20:08,138 --> 00:20:10,138 You sound very sweet, Mitchell. 632 00:20:10,206 --> 00:20:13,041 I-I was thinking maybe as a special treat, you could -- 633 00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,609 I'm not singing into my gate, Ray. 634 00:20:14,678 --> 00:20:16,277 Well, it was very nice to talk to you. 635 00:20:16,346 --> 00:20:17,912 I did have a quick question about -- 636 00:20:17,981 --> 00:20:19,113 Goodbye. ‭[ Click ] 637 00:20:19,182 --> 00:20:20,915 It's fine. 638 00:20:20,984 --> 00:20:22,016 When I tell the story, 639 00:20:22,085 --> 00:20:24,018 it ends with her singing "happy birthday." 640 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,524 Oh, shoot. It's past 3:00. 641 00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:29,436 - What's wrong? You late for dinner? - Jay. 642 00:20:29,505 --> 00:20:30,871 Honey, it's okay. If we leave now, we -- 643 00:20:30,939 --> 00:20:32,138 No, no, I missed it. 644 00:20:32,536 --> 00:20:33,536 What did you miss? 645 00:20:33,571 --> 00:20:35,704 It's Fred and Ginger week on TCM. 646 00:20:35,773 --> 00:20:38,473 They're showing "Swing time," and I forgot to record it. 647 00:20:38,542 --> 00:20:41,443 Let me tell you about a little innovation called Netflix. 648 00:20:41,512 --> 00:20:43,278 You'll never miss another movie again. 649 00:20:43,347 --> 00:20:45,247 - Really? - Hand to god. 650 00:20:45,316 --> 00:20:47,216 You pick a film on your computer. 651 00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:49,718 Three days later, there's a disk in your mailbox. 652 00:20:49,787 --> 00:20:51,920 You got to stay up with technology, Marty. 653 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:53,455 Wow. Thanks. 654 00:20:53,524 --> 00:20:56,458 Can you believe he doesn't know about streaming? 655 00:20:56,527 --> 00:20:59,228 If I ever get that out of touch, kill me. 656 00:20:59,252 --> 00:21:01,252 Synced and corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com