1 00:00:00,184 --> 00:00:02,796 Okay, we still need wine, cheese, flowers... 2 00:00:02,804 --> 00:00:04,134 Oh, we have to stop by the bakery. 3 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,604 Yeah, and we need a hostess gift 4 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,406 for Longinus' Friendsgiving party. 5 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,708 You know, she does not look kindly on an empty-handed guest. 6 00:00:10,185 --> 00:00:11,543 - It's too much. - I know. 7 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,145 But what do you expect from somebody who changed their name 8 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,414 from Larry Jones to Longinus St. Germaine? 9 00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,015 No, I mean this list. 10 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,517 Okay, we're only making it to my dad's by 4:00 11 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,652 if we blow off the hostess formerly known as Larry. 12 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,855 No! His party's my favorite thing about Thanksgiving! 13 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:23,956 Like, when we all go around the table 14 00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,424 and say one thing we're thankful for not wearing this year. 15 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:27,909 No. No, I'm sorry. Sorry. 16 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,178 Even skipping the party, we're barely gonna make it in time. 17 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,380 Alright. Here. Let's divvy these up and meet back here. 18 00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:33,515 Okay, fine. 19 00:00:33,517 --> 00:00:34,983 Um... 20 00:00:35,085 --> 00:00:36,585 - Oh, hi, Mitch! - Oh! Hi, Ronaldo. 21 00:00:36,653 --> 00:00:38,720 What... Let me guess. Those are for Longinus? 22 00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:41,489 Oh, I would never get something this shabby for that judgy queen. 23 00:00:41,558 --> 00:00:43,658 - No, my mom is in the hospital. - Oh, my God. 24 00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:45,159 Will I see you guys at the party? 25 00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:46,427 Oh, unfortunately no. 26 00:00:46,496 --> 00:00:48,563 Uh, this day has turned into something of a nightmare. 27 00:00:48,665 --> 00:00:49,731 Oh. Where's Cam? 28 00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:50,965 We just split up. 29 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,266 We just needed so many different things, 30 00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:53,434 it was easier to separate. 31 00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:54,936 So, anyway, happy Thanksgiving. 32 00:00:55,004 --> 00:00:56,337 Tell everyone I said hi. 33 00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,209 Super sad news. 34 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,044 Guess who just broke up. 35 00:01:03,553 --> 00:01:05,279 Hint... you owe me 50 bucks. 36 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,696 Luke, stop eating all the marshmallows. 37 00:01:21,798 --> 00:01:23,264 Those yams need all the help that they can get. 38 00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:24,999 Alex, how's the stuffing? 39 00:01:25,101 --> 00:01:26,767 You tell me. 40 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:29,070 Why do we even have this stupid holiday? 41 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,339 Mom and Dad have been incredible... 42 00:01:31,441 --> 00:01:33,608 letting me, Dylan, and the twins live with them, 43 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,644 helping with midnight feedings, bedtime stories. 44 00:01:36,746 --> 00:01:39,146 Dylan loves it when my dad does the voices. 45 00:01:39,248 --> 00:01:40,781 So, I'm giving my mom a break 46 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,116 from cooking Thanksgiving dinner. 47 00:01:42,218 --> 00:01:43,417 I wanted to do something special 48 00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:46,153 to thank them for being there for me. 49 00:01:46,255 --> 00:01:49,023 I'm sorry. I've just, um... 50 00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:52,059 I've become such a beautiful person. 51 00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:55,029 Happy Thanksgiving, Jay. 52 00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:56,998 Oh, I can slide over if you want to watch this with me. 53 00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,167 Nah. I never saw the point of a parade without tanks. 54 00:02:00,269 --> 00:02:01,736 I'm gonna take the plane out for a spin. 55 00:02:01,838 --> 00:02:02,903 You want to come with? 56 00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:04,238 Me? 57 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,974 Go... fly? 58 00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,577 I played it cool, but I was pretty jazzed. 59 00:02:11,314 --> 00:02:13,180 It's been 10 years since Jay asked me 60 00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:17,251 to go model-plane flying with him, and I was, uh... 61 00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:19,053 I was eager to replace that memory 62 00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:21,322 with a... a be... a better one. 63 00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,658 Okay, let's do it! 64 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:24,759 Whoo! 65 00:02:31,865 --> 00:02:32,900 Where are you guys going? 66 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,468 Oh, nowhere special. 67 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,104 Let's just say that Jay's asked me to join his mile high club. 68 00:02:37,206 --> 00:02:38,239 Let's not say that. 69 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,240 Cool! 70 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,608 You know, years ago, I almost joined 71 00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:43,411 the female-dominated world of flight attendants. 72 00:02:43,513 --> 00:02:45,479 My fellow nurses still needle me about it. 73 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,414 Can I come? 74 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,549 Uh, actually, Jay's pretty particular about... 75 00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:50,284 Sure, why not? 76 00:02:50,386 --> 00:02:51,819 Looks like we're having a threesome! 77 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,654 You're embarrassing yourself. 78 00:02:56,159 --> 00:02:58,292 The turkey is still frozen in the middle! 79 00:02:58,394 --> 00:03:00,628 Hot on the outside, cold on the inside... 80 00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:02,396 reminds me of a certain someone. 81 00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:04,331 - Please don't ask. - Sure. 82 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,966 Ugh, this pie filling is so sour. 83 00:03:06,331 --> 00:03:07,334 Yeah, it's devastating 84 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,703 when you expect something to be sweet 85 00:03:08,805 --> 00:03:12,339 but ends up being intense psychosexual torture. 86 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,541 I don't want to talk about it. 87 00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:15,009 - Cool, cool. - Don't worry. 88 00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,045 Luke's famous Jell-O mold is here to save your sorry butts. 89 00:03:19,015 --> 00:03:20,347 Aah! 90 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,783 I can't have the one nice thing I've done 91 00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:24,151 for Mom and Dad be a disaster! 92 00:03:24,253 --> 00:03:26,287 Alex, um, call you please call that chef that you're dating? 93 00:03:26,389 --> 00:03:27,988 That pompous weirdo? 94 00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:30,224 I purposely broke up with him before the holidays. 95 00:03:30,326 --> 00:03:33,294 If I call him now, I will be stuck with him until New Year's. 96 00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:34,462 There's a school of thought 97 00:03:34,564 --> 00:03:36,564 it can even stretch out to Valentine's Day. 98 00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,265 Once you pass Thanksgiving, it's the Wild West. 99 00:03:38,905 --> 00:03:41,135 Okay! Her name is Jessica. 100 00:03:41,237 --> 00:03:42,870 We met during a Santa Ana wind, 101 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,572 and we all know what Raymond Chandler said... 102 00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:45,806 So no need to repeat it. 103 00:03:45,908 --> 00:03:48,642 Alex, please. How weird can your chef be? 104 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,512 I don't know if it's 'cause he's a chef 105 00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:52,880 and they can be controlling, 106 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,916 and I know there's lots of different "love languages," 107 00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,151 but... 108 00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:59,019 he puppets me. 109 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:02,957 You want them to be super thin and uniform, like this. 110 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,527 You're tearing up from the onions. 111 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,297 Mnh? Unh? 112 00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:11,565 And blow. 113 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,367 You know, maybe I'll just go to the bathroom and do this. 114 00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:15,035 Okay. Sure. Let's go. 115 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,908 Oh, Joe! You're doing place cards? 116 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:22,710 Doesn't Manny usually take care of seating? 117 00:04:22,812 --> 00:04:24,612 He's "going through something." 118 00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:25,846 - Ah. - I'm sure 119 00:04:25,948 --> 00:04:27,948 we'll hear a spoken word about it soon enough. 120 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,718 You really are turning into a 4-foot version of my dad. 121 00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:31,852 Our dad. 122 00:04:31,954 --> 00:04:34,155 That will never not be weird. 123 00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:37,224 Gloria, you do laundry? 124 00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:39,827 Or are you hiding a pregnancy? 125 00:04:39,929 --> 00:04:41,395 No. The housekeeper quit. 126 00:04:41,497 --> 00:04:42,668 Ohh! 127 00:04:42,932 --> 00:04:47,368 I really love working for Phil full-time for very little money, 128 00:04:47,470 --> 00:04:50,070 but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be 129 00:04:50,173 --> 00:04:51,539 balancing everything. 130 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:53,908 I know. That's why I love not working. 131 00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,744 Finally, enough time to get everything done. 132 00:04:56,846 --> 00:04:58,145 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 133 00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:00,948 You don't miss facing new challenges, 134 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,850 the fire of competition, 135 00:05:02,952 --> 00:05:05,519 that sense of accomplishment? 136 00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:07,521 No. No. 137 00:05:07,623 --> 00:05:10,257 I mean, of course, I worried I was the type of person 138 00:05:10,359 --> 00:05:13,194 who needed to be busy all the time, but it's like a drug... 139 00:05:13,296 --> 00:05:15,830 After a couple of weeks of withdrawal, 140 00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,966 I am finally comfortable doing nothing. 141 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,568 Hmm. 142 00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:28,652 Oh, what kind of pie did you get, 143 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,640 pun'kin, pee-can, sweet pataytuh? 144 00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,908 Flourless chocolate cake. 145 00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:33,309 Let's see you try and country that up. 146 00:05:33,608 --> 00:05:34,677 Oh. My phone's in my pocket. 147 00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,045 Here, would you grab it? I can't get it. 148 00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,347 Yep. Alright. 149 00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:39,282 - Who is it? - Oh, it's from Jotham. 150 00:05:39,351 --> 00:05:41,951 "Just heard. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" 151 00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:43,620 - What's that about? - I have no idea. 152 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:44,887 Oh, L'Michael. 153 00:05:44,956 --> 00:05:46,355 "Sending all my love, Camembert. 154 00:05:46,424 --> 00:05:47,433 - Call me." - What? 155 00:05:48,295 --> 00:05:49,225 Artemis. 156 00:05:49,243 --> 00:05:51,310 "Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell. 157 00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,279 "Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji, 158 00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:54,880 Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF." 159 00:05:54,949 --> 00:05:56,649 What did Ronaldo tell him? 160 00:05:56,718 --> 00:06:00,298 No clue. I-I just saw him here, and he asked where you were, 161 00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,221 and I told him that we split up to shop and that... 162 00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,656 Oh, my God. He thinks we actually split up. 163 00:06:04,758 --> 00:06:06,725 Oh, and it's gone viral. 164 00:06:06,794 --> 00:06:08,727 Well, there are two things a gay can't sit on... 165 00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:11,063 a plastic patio chair and a juicy bit of gossip. 166 00:06:11,131 --> 00:06:12,431 Well, it's nice to see 167 00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:14,124 how supportive our friends are being. 168 00:06:14,159 --> 00:06:16,735 Yeah. It's nice how quickly they reached out to... 169 00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:17,792 to you. 170 00:06:17,821 --> 00:06:19,054 I got nothing. 171 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,089 It's like it's mocking me. 172 00:06:21,158 --> 00:06:23,272 I-I'm sure the texts were meant for both of us. 173 00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:24,526 That's not how it works, okay? 174 00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,040 They're not thanking us for brunch. 175 00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,228 We're getting a divorce! 176 00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:28,896 Why is no one calling me?! 177 00:06:28,965 --> 00:06:30,498 Well, maybe because they think you're the... 178 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,266 the stronger, less emotional one. 179 00:06:32,335 --> 00:06:34,304 That's crazy. Just because I'm strong 180 00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:35,937 doesn't mean I don't need my friends at a time like this! 181 00:06:36,039 --> 00:06:37,138 A time like what? 182 00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:39,840 Y-You realizing this isn't actually happening, right? 183 00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,075 Oh, come on. If the shoe 184 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,910 was on the other foot, you would be freaking out. 185 00:06:42,979 --> 00:06:44,812 Yes... which is why I'm getting all the texts. 186 00:06:44,881 --> 00:06:46,447 Okay, well, here. 187 00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:48,282 Ohh, from Steven and Stefan in Capri. 188 00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:51,018 Oh. Text back, uh, "Do not fly home. 189 00:06:51,087 --> 00:06:52,092 I'm doing okay." 190 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,788 I thought this wasn't really happening! 191 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:00,194 Barrel roll into an S-turn... 192 00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:03,029 and a little thing I call Pritchett-Switch-It. 193 00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:05,465 That just looks like a right-hand turn. 194 00:07:05,534 --> 00:07:06,967 It would to an amateur. 195 00:07:07,069 --> 00:07:08,435 You're an artist, Jay. 196 00:07:08,504 --> 00:07:09,603 The sky's your canvas. 197 00:07:09,671 --> 00:07:10,704 Oh, should we do the hoop? 198 00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:11,938 Great idea. 199 00:07:12,007 --> 00:07:14,975 Hey, champ, take this out to the middle of the field and hold it up. 200 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,243 Awesome! 201 00:07:18,163 --> 00:07:19,262 Guess it's "champ's" turn. 202 00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,965 Are... Are we sure champ doesn't need to see how it's done properly first? 203 00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:23,299 I mean, it's not just standing there. 204 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,168 Dylan, just stand there! 205 00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:32,348 Yes! 206 00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,744 What a wonderful shared experience! 207 00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:36,045 Now, stay out there. 208 00:07:36,147 --> 00:07:37,380 We'll do it again. 209 00:07:37,948 --> 00:07:40,115 Kid's a natural. He didn't even flinch. 210 00:07:40,184 --> 00:07:43,085 Bravery or a sluggish brain... guess we'll never know. 211 00:07:44,488 --> 00:07:45,554 Sorry. 212 00:07:45,623 --> 00:07:46,989 Just, uh, I'm... I'm a little annoyed 213 00:07:47,057 --> 00:07:50,159 that Dylan's horning in on our thing. 214 00:07:50,227 --> 00:07:51,894 Hey, you know what, my hands are cramping up. 215 00:07:51,996 --> 00:07:53,028 You want to take over for me here? 216 00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:54,089 - Really? - Yeah. 217 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,230 Thanks. 218 00:07:55,299 --> 00:07:57,633 Listen, i-is it possible that you're angry at Dylan 219 00:07:57,735 --> 00:07:59,501 for something more than today? 220 00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:01,737 Well, he did take the last waffle this morning. 221 00:08:01,839 --> 00:08:05,273 I think it's more about... he took your firstborn. 222 00:08:05,342 --> 00:08:07,442 Now, I've been there. It's only natural, you know. 223 00:08:07,511 --> 00:08:11,012 Us dads, we're very protective of our daughters, but, uh... 224 00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:13,081 In fact, you may get a very strong impulse 225 00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:14,549 to fly that plane right into the guy, 226 00:08:14,651 --> 00:08:15,750 but don't do it. 227 00:08:15,752 --> 00:08:17,552 What? I-I would... I would never hurt Dylan. 228 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,187 Why would you even think I'd have that impulse? 229 00:08:19,255 --> 00:08:20,922 I don't know. I thought... 230 00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:22,490 you know, the way you were looking at him... 231 00:08:22,592 --> 00:08:23,858 Wait. 232 00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:25,860 Is that what you were thinking 10 years ago? 233 00:08:25,962 --> 00:08:28,129 A-All this time, I thought it was my fault! 234 00:08:28,198 --> 00:08:29,931 I-I moved my head at the last second. 235 00:08:29,999 --> 00:08:31,665 But you hit me on purpose! 236 00:08:31,684 --> 00:08:33,217 Don't be ridiculous! I just... 237 00:08:33,286 --> 00:08:34,652 You just what, Jay? 238 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,987 Thought it'd be fun to fly a plane into my face? 239 00:08:37,056 --> 00:08:39,323 What kind of monster does that to another human be... 240 00:08:42,528 --> 00:08:44,795 Aw, no. 241 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:50,367 Look at this. 242 00:08:53,839 --> 00:08:55,572 Okay, I think it's good for now. 243 00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:58,008 Oh, yeah, yeah. You need to enjoy your "me" time. 244 00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:02,212 Yeah. Yesterday, I had three open houses. 245 00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,097 I was running around all day, 246 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,999 solving problems, creating value... 247 00:09:06,101 --> 00:09:08,549 Ay, it was exhausting. 248 00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:09,936 Yeah. Don't miss that. 249 00:09:10,038 --> 00:09:11,097 Mm-hmm. 250 00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:14,708 - Oh, and one of the houses was filthy! - Oh. 251 00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:16,876 All the windows needed to be washed. 252 00:09:16,979 --> 00:09:18,044 - Oh. - Euggh! 253 00:09:18,146 --> 00:09:19,846 But I am one to talk. 254 00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,206 Follow my instructions, and we can save this meal. 255 00:09:30,275 --> 00:09:31,507 - Who are you? - Manny. 256 00:09:31,609 --> 00:09:34,343 Wrong. In this kitchen, you don't have a name. Stir. 257 00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:35,411 Well, this is a fun energy. 258 00:09:35,513 --> 00:09:36,712 Do you happen to have a cousin 259 00:09:36,781 --> 00:09:38,681 partial to Western skirts and terrifying mood swings? 260 00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:40,149 We need him. Just do it. 261 00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:41,717 Those carrots are a mess. 262 00:09:41,786 --> 00:09:43,752 - It's like this. - Wait, what... 263 00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:44,760 Oh, man. 264 00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:45,888 You really know what you want. 265 00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:47,022 I feel so safe. 266 00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:49,692 That needs more salt. 267 00:09:49,794 --> 00:09:50,826 That needs more cream. 268 00:09:50,928 --> 00:09:53,362 And, Alex, I have a soufflé in that oven 269 00:09:53,464 --> 00:09:54,763 valiantly trying to rise. 270 00:09:54,832 --> 00:09:56,865 Would you mind not pounding those walnuts 271 00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,568 like you're Quasimodo just going at his bell? 272 00:09:59,636 --> 00:10:01,737 You know what, Neil? I don't know how... 273 00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:03,405 Are these too hot? 274 00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:09,544 Claire? Why are you washing our windows? 275 00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:10,712 I don't know. 276 00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:13,748 They were really dirty, and your mom found a pole. 277 00:10:13,817 --> 00:10:15,417 You know, funny coincidence... 278 00:10:15,485 --> 00:10:17,318 last week, I was offered the top job 279 00:10:17,387 --> 00:10:18,653 at a company that makes poles. 280 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,722 Yeah, I'm going through something, too. 281 00:10:20,824 --> 00:10:22,657 Anyway, I turned the job down, 282 00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,725 but I think I'm reconsidering it. 283 00:10:24,794 --> 00:10:26,260 Her name is Jessica. 284 00:10:26,329 --> 00:10:29,330 I know that poles aren't as sexy as closets. 285 00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:31,866 But people really seem to like them, 286 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,468 and they are famously recession-proof. 287 00:10:34,537 --> 00:10:36,270 Oh, God. I think I made a terrible mistake. 288 00:10:36,339 --> 00:10:38,840 I got to call those people and get that job before it goes away. 289 00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:39,941 Because... 290 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,342 Don't do it, Claire! It's beneath you! 291 00:10:41,444 --> 00:10:43,444 Whoa! Manny, show some respect! 292 00:10:43,463 --> 00:10:44,628 If it weren't for poles, 293 00:10:44,697 --> 00:10:46,330 you would be pledging allegiance to a floor mat! 294 00:10:46,399 --> 00:10:47,631 - Now, give me my phone! - No! 295 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,500 You can't take a job on the rebound. 296 00:10:49,569 --> 00:10:50,868 It'll feel good for a minute, 297 00:10:50,937 --> 00:10:54,438 but then you're plummeting down a K-hole of paranoia and regret. 298 00:10:54,507 --> 00:10:57,173 Huh. How was your week? 299 00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,809 Fine. I'll tell you why I'm wearing a turtleneck. 300 00:10:59,878 --> 00:11:01,111 After Sherry dumped me, 301 00:11:01,179 --> 00:11:03,046 I dated the first girl who would have me... 302 00:11:03,115 --> 00:11:06,349 ironically, the leading rebounder on our basketball team. 303 00:11:06,418 --> 00:11:08,184 That's where she hit me with her mouth guard. 304 00:11:08,253 --> 00:11:09,419 I've tried to leave her, 305 00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:11,788 but she just palms my head, and I run in place. 306 00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,623 Well, I'm sorry this is happening to you, Manny, 307 00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:14,958 but what does this have to do with... 308 00:11:15,027 --> 00:11:17,193 She's the pole company, Claire. 309 00:11:17,562 --> 00:11:18,661 Learn from my mistake... 310 00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:20,697 unless you want a compromising Polaroid of you 311 00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,799 hung up very high in the women's locker room. 312 00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:24,767 I might need to borrow that ladder later. 313 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,559 - Claire! - Hmm? 314 00:11:33,628 --> 00:11:35,561 Do you want to help me shop online later 315 00:11:35,663 --> 00:11:37,530 for some power suits? 316 00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:40,633 Oh, God, I miss wearing comfortable clothes 317 00:11:40,735 --> 00:11:42,301 all the time, like you do. 318 00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:44,203 Yep. It sounds like a lot of fun. 319 00:11:44,305 --> 00:11:45,404 I... 320 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,299 What am I doing? 321 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,374 A terrific job. Keep going! 322 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,508 N-No! 323 00:11:50,511 --> 00:11:52,744 I have been sweating ever since I got here. 324 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,014 Did you trick me into doing your housework? 325 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,148 No. 326 00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,188 Unh-unh! That phone did not ring! 327 00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:05,390 You're walking away because you know you're guilty! 328 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,093 And take those shoes off! I just did the floors! 329 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:11,963 My friends' reaction to our "divorce" really bothered me. 330 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,865 So I made an excuse to Cam 331 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,067 and went over to Longinus' party. 332 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,435 I wanted the friends to know 333 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,471 that I am just as emotionally needy as Cam! 334 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,444 Hey, girl, hey! 335 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,611 I can't believe you came. 336 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:28,719 Oh, my God. How's Cam?! 337 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,814 Yes, how is he? 338 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,449 Cam's fine. He's fine. 339 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,018 It was just a big misunderstanding. We're not getting a divorce. 340 00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:37,888 Well, girl, come on in. 341 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,390 Let's get you two drinks... 342 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,692 one for each empty hand you showed up to the party with. 343 00:12:42,114 --> 00:12:43,828 Well, I-I could use it. 344 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,997 I mean, even though it's... it's not true about the divorce, 345 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,199 it could be... you know, someday. 346 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,835 And that just... that just makes me so, so... 347 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,571 Confused? 348 00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,373 Angry? Furious. 349 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,474 "The Fast and the Furious"! 350 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,485 Okay, this isn't charades. 351 00:12:58,567 --> 00:12:59,576 I'm sad. 352 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,278 - That's your sad? - Yes. 353 00:13:01,620 --> 00:13:02,629 That's your sad? 354 00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:03,763 Yeah. 355 00:13:03,865 --> 00:13:06,099 And I-I really need your support right now. 356 00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:09,703 Wait, something new is happening. 357 00:13:12,207 --> 00:13:15,575 Oh, my God! How can you not see how emotionally raw I am right now? 358 00:13:15,677 --> 00:13:16,776 Huh? 359 00:13:16,878 --> 00:13:18,445 Nothing lasts forever. 360 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:19,946 What happens when it's over? 361 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:22,082 Poor Cam. He is so fragile. 362 00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,283 He's gonna need us. 363 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,651 We'll be there for him. 364 00:13:24,753 --> 00:13:26,987 Who will be there to dry these tears? 365 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,623 What tears? 366 00:13:30,149 --> 00:13:31,625 Where they at? 367 00:13:35,099 --> 00:13:36,532 Ay, no, not again! 368 00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:38,935 It wasn't me this time. He did it to himself. 369 00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:40,303 Unlike last time, 370 00:13:40,371 --> 00:13:43,105 when you purposely flew that plane into my face. 371 00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:44,373 You're a monster, Jay. 372 00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:45,842 Who are you calling a monster? 373 00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:47,777 Um, he just said... Jay. 374 00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:51,247 This isn't worth it! Why do I do anything with people? 375 00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:53,216 I'm pretty sure you don't have a concussion, 376 00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:54,984 but I'm gonna stay here just in case, 377 00:13:55,053 --> 00:13:56,519 so you don't fall asleep. 378 00:13:57,556 --> 00:13:59,822 Gloria, should you go get Mrs. D? 379 00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,957 Oh, yeah, sure. I'll see if I can find her. 380 00:14:04,228 --> 00:14:06,428 Claire? 381 00:14:10,134 --> 00:14:11,533 Oh, hey. Seen Cam? 382 00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:13,835 And a Happy Thanksgiving to you. 383 00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:15,937 Oh, that's a lot of attitude. You sound like my dad. 384 00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:17,105 Our dad! 385 00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:18,707 - Uch. - There you are. 386 00:14:18,809 --> 00:14:21,810 So, I just, uh, got a text message from Longinus. 387 00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:24,312 Said you left your sunglasses at his Friendsgiving party... 388 00:14:24,381 --> 00:14:27,081 the one you decreed we didn't have enough time to go to. 389 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,883 Mitchell, you owe me an apology. 390 00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,219 I owe you an apology? 391 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,755 I may not have brought a gift to Longinus' party, 392 00:14:33,823 --> 00:14:35,757 but I sure left with one. 393 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:39,610 It's like he's never seen someone cry before. 394 00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:40,978 Just think of something sad. 395 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,813 Like when a pet died, 396 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,316 or when L'Michael was a seat filler at the Golden Globes 397 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,318 and got to sit next to Nicole Kidman. 398 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,519 Why him?! 399 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,755 Ptolemy, you must get over that. 400 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:54,291 Look, the only reason we all rallied around Cam was, 401 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,759 last time y'all broke up, 402 00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,962 he was shattered and you seemed fine. 403 00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:00,981 What last time? 404 00:15:02,551 --> 00:15:03,784 Apparently, years ago, 405 00:15:03,852 --> 00:15:06,620 Cam invented a breakup that never really happened, 406 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,289 just so he could gauge how much support he could count on 407 00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:11,325 in the event of the real thing. 408 00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:12,709 Normal. 409 00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,944 It's my fault for loving him too much! 410 00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:16,346 - No! No! - No! No! 411 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,148 - You can do so much better. - Don't do this to yourself. 412 00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,582 - Honey. - Yes. 413 00:15:19,651 --> 00:15:21,685 You turned everyone against me! 414 00:15:22,391 --> 00:15:24,387 Because in a breakup, friends choose a side, 415 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,157 and I'm... I'm more fragile, and I would need them more. 416 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,026 I was just preparing for an emergency. 417 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,695 I didn't yell at you when you bought that, uh, earthquake kit. 418 00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:35,682 You told them I disappear for days at a time. 419 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,499 Which you wouldn't know about 420 00:15:36,568 --> 00:15:38,734 had you not gone to the party behind my back. 421 00:15:38,753 --> 00:15:40,353 Where's the trust, Mitchell? 422 00:15:43,157 --> 00:15:44,924 Looks like a good place to hide from the drama. 423 00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:47,426 Dad, I am so mad at your wife right now. 424 00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,195 - I need a guest house. - No, no, no. 425 00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:51,764 She... She has completely taken advantage of my restlessness 426 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,632 and basically turned me into her housekeeper. 427 00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:55,367 How? By doing something the wrong way, 428 00:15:55,436 --> 00:15:57,269 knowing you'll jump in and do it the right way? 429 00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,172 What's wrong with me? Why can't I get these clean? 430 00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:01,373 Not gonna happen. 431 00:16:02,376 --> 00:16:03,942 I am partly to blame. 432 00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:08,046 I'm not good at doing nothing. 433 00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:10,916 How did they get fingerprints on the inside of the glass? 434 00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:12,084 It's crazy. 435 00:16:12,086 --> 00:16:13,452 You know, I had a similar experience 436 00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:14,953 when I turned the company over to you. 437 00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:17,589 It wasn't the activity that I missed. 438 00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,207 I missed being the boss. 439 00:16:19,276 --> 00:16:21,276 Oh! Yeah. I hear you there. 440 00:16:21,378 --> 00:16:23,645 - Giving orders, people scared of you. - Yeah. 441 00:16:23,747 --> 00:16:24,756 I like day drinking, 442 00:16:24,815 --> 00:16:26,514 but nothing beats being drunk with power. 443 00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:30,485 Yeah. Do you know how many unfunny jokes I told at the office? 444 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:32,053 - None? - Exactly. 445 00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:33,154 - Knock knock. - "Ha ha ha ha! 446 00:16:33,156 --> 00:16:34,556 "Good one, boss! Ha ha ha ha! 447 00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:35,957 How do you keep coming up with them?" 448 00:16:36,059 --> 00:16:37,125 Spineless bootlickers. 449 00:16:37,227 --> 00:16:38,927 God, I miss them. 450 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:40,795 How did you get over it? 451 00:16:40,864 --> 00:16:43,130 I didn't wait around for someone to put me in charge again. 452 00:16:43,199 --> 00:16:44,866 I made my own opportunity. 453 00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:46,334 Dad, dog beds? 454 00:16:46,436 --> 00:16:48,035 Better than poles. 455 00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:51,806 Oh, yeah. I hear things. 456 00:16:53,276 --> 00:16:55,676 Alright. Dylan is on twin duty, 457 00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:58,379 so I'm gonna make sure you don't fall asleep. 458 00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,881 I've been asleep for the last 10 years. 459 00:17:01,283 --> 00:17:02,316 Imagine finding out 460 00:17:02,418 --> 00:17:04,284 the plane crash you were in was no accident. 461 00:17:04,353 --> 00:17:05,752 Well, you're not alone. 462 00:17:05,821 --> 00:17:07,054 Jay did something very similar to me 463 00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,489 when Mitchell and I first got together. 464 00:17:08,557 --> 00:17:10,891 He "accidentally" bumped me with his car... 465 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960 a real car, not a... not a toy. 466 00:17:14,546 --> 00:17:15,612 I was pretty bruised up. 467 00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,214 I just... I just assumed it was because 468 00:17:17,282 --> 00:17:18,882 he didn't want his son with a boyfriend, 469 00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:21,218 but he thought Mitchell could do better. 470 00:17:21,286 --> 00:17:23,053 It was a-a bit of a shock. 471 00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:24,921 Uhp... 472 00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:27,040 But then, once I became a father, 473 00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:29,676 I realized how protective you can be over your kid. 474 00:17:29,745 --> 00:17:31,911 There was a little boy on Lily's soccer team always teasing her, 475 00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,446 so at the end-of-the-season party, 476 00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:36,082 I may have nudged him face-first 477 00:17:36,151 --> 00:17:38,151 into a freshly fried funnel cake. 478 00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:44,023 It is possible that I have more in common 479 00:17:44,092 --> 00:17:47,460 with dads like Jay than I would like to admit. 480 00:17:49,063 --> 00:17:51,097 Sorry I ate the last waffle, Mr. D. 481 00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:52,832 I've been so hungry lately. 482 00:17:52,901 --> 00:17:54,000 Mm. 483 00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,235 I wonder if that means we're pregnant again. 484 00:17:58,981 --> 00:18:00,568 Oh, shoot! 485 00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:02,842 Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot. 486 00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:06,345 Ohhhhhh. 487 00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,181 Congratulations, Alex. 488 00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:11,383 A warren of starving rabbits wouldn't eat these carrots. 489 00:18:11,452 --> 00:18:13,919 I'm starting to wonder if our relationship should just be sexual. 490 00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:15,170 Okay, Neil, honestly... 491 00:18:15,239 --> 00:18:17,773 Hey, hey, hey, you lovebirds! Time for that later. 492 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:19,041 We got a meal to finish. 493 00:18:19,143 --> 00:18:22,177 Can somebody call FEMA? This meringue is a disaster. 494 00:18:22,246 --> 00:18:23,378 I just did what you told me. 495 00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:25,314 Oh, really? I told you to underbeat the egg whites? 496 00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:26,548 I really think... 497 00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:28,150 I think. You do. 498 00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:30,285 Oh, Neil. Are you done with Alex? 499 00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:33,255 'Cause I'm having trouble slivering these almonds. 500 00:18:33,357 --> 00:18:34,556 Be one with me. 501 00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:41,429 Hey, Jay, um... 502 00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:43,698 I think I overreacted earlier. 503 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,899 I want to apologize. 504 00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:46,000 Forget it. 505 00:18:47,037 --> 00:18:50,805 If I'm being honest, maybe on some level... 506 00:18:50,874 --> 00:18:52,640 I really did want to hit you with that plane. 507 00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,877 I'm sorry, Phil. 508 00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:57,545 Thank you. 509 00:18:58,023 --> 00:18:59,714 Maybe I, uh, understand better 510 00:18:59,782 --> 00:19:01,816 why a father might want to protect a daughter. 511 00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:03,050 Or a son. 512 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,920 I banged Cam up pretty good before I gave him the nod. 513 00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:07,455 He never figured it out. 514 00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:12,890 I get the impulse. I'm... I'm guilty of it myself. 515 00:19:12,925 --> 00:19:14,228 But there's got to be a better way of handling anger 516 00:19:14,297 --> 00:19:15,563 than hurting someone, right? 517 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:18,933 Disgusting! 518 00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:20,534 If this was the first Thanksgiving, 519 00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,002 your gravy would be the worst thing 520 00:19:22,104 --> 00:19:23,904 this country has done to Native Americans! 521 00:19:24,006 --> 00:19:25,873 - Hey, buddy. - Yeah? 522 00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,242 Ohh! 523 00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:31,745 Oops. 524 00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:33,647 What a senseless accident. 525 00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,716 What the hell?! 526 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,984 It's not the end of the world. 527 00:19:38,087 --> 00:19:40,053 Chefs don't need to smell things. 528 00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:42,622 You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here. 529 00:19:42,725 --> 00:19:44,624 What a splendid idea. 530 00:19:45,794 --> 00:19:47,894 Enjoy the soufflé. 531 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:51,431 You're the best. 532 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:54,301 Whoa. What's going on? Did I just hear the chef leave? 533 00:19:54,403 --> 00:19:56,603 It's hopeless. I can't even tell what this was. 534 00:19:56,672 --> 00:19:59,457 Well, I'll see if there's a restaurant that can take us. 535 00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:00,807 - I'm just going home. - Yeah. 536 00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:02,442 No. No, no, no, no! Whoa, whoa, whoa! No! 537 00:20:02,511 --> 00:20:04,310 No one is going anywhere. 538 00:20:04,363 --> 00:20:06,963 Listen, you know what? We can salvage this Thanksgiving. 539 00:20:07,015 --> 00:20:08,581 Phil, you get the salad started. 540 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,450 Luke, anything you don't need 541 00:20:10,552 --> 00:20:12,619 dental records to identify, save. 542 00:20:12,721 --> 00:20:16,122 Alex, that guy was an idiot. Pick better boyfriends. 543 00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:18,791 I'm sorry, Mom. I so wanted to do this for you. 544 00:20:18,893 --> 00:20:20,193 Oh, honey, no. 545 00:20:20,295 --> 00:20:22,128 You gave me the best gift ever. 546 00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:24,030 I'm bossing people around again! 547 00:20:26,768 --> 00:20:28,034 Look, I guess I just... 548 00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:31,571 I didn't think I would be able to survive if you ever left me. 549 00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,039 And I still don't. 550 00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:34,374 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 551 00:20:34,476 --> 00:20:36,809 And the party wasn't that fun. 552 00:20:36,911 --> 00:20:38,244 Something was missing. 553 00:20:38,346 --> 00:20:42,582 Oh, I love when you say things without really saying them. 554 00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:45,752 You meant me, right? 555 00:20:46,786 --> 00:20:49,586 Um... um, "Man Without A Face." 556 00:20:49,688 --> 00:20:50,697 "The Mummy." 557 00:20:50,779 --> 00:20:51,788 "Coma"! 558 00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,290 "I, Robot"? 559 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,391 "Frozen"? 560 00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:56,260 "The Crying Game"! 561 00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:57,427 Ohhhh. 562 00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:59,029 What is wrong with you people? 563 00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:01,932 If he wants to see crying, he should come and see me 564 00:21:02,034 --> 00:21:04,067 in the kitchen with all these dirty dishes. 565 00:21:04,169 --> 00:21:05,202 Fine. 566 00:21:05,204 --> 00:21:07,204 I will do plates and I will do silverware, 567 00:21:07,306 --> 00:21:09,606 but nothing that requires soaking! 568 00:21:09,996 --> 00:21:12,009 Oh, you guys are so cute! 569 00:21:12,111 --> 00:21:13,143 Well, George is. 570 00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,878 Poppy's gonna need a personality. 571 00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:17,848 - Ooh! - Sorry, dude. Total accident. 572 00:21:17,950 --> 00:21:20,417 Oh. He's gonna be a good dad. 573 00:21:25,091 --> 00:21:27,233 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com