1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 What's the key to being a great dad? 2 00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:07,436 That's a tough one. 3 00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:12,441 Giving them the freedom to be whatever they want to be... Right, exactly, and -- 4 00:00:12,509 --> 00:00:13,776 ...Wha pilot, a president... Me 5 00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:15,578 And for us, what we're gonna -- 6 00:00:15,645 --> 00:00:18,414 ...Of a company or of a country. 7 00:00:20,817 --> 00:00:22,518 Patience. 8 00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:25,488 Well, be their buddy. 9 00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:27,056 That's your answer? 10 00:00:27,124 --> 00:00:29,024 And stay in school. No. 11 00:00:29,092 --> 00:00:30,326 And don't do drugs. No! 12 00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:31,694 Just give me the answer. 13 00:00:31,762 --> 00:00:32,995 Oh, god. 14 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,667 Still thinking. 15 00:00:38,735 --> 00:00:41,704 Transcript by addic7ed.com Sync door dvdmeer www.bierdopje.com 16 00:00:56,119 --> 00:00:57,653 Hey. Hey. 17 00:00:57,721 --> 00:00:58,654 Hi. 18 00:00:58,722 --> 00:00:59,855 Oh, okay. 19 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:01,457 Hi, um... 20 00:01:01,525 --> 00:01:03,359 This is my husband, phil. Hi. 21 00:01:03,427 --> 00:01:05,928 And that's my son, luke, right there. 22 00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,229 This is... Desiree. 23 00:01:07,297 --> 00:01:08,798 Desiree -- right. Sorry. 24 00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:11,333 Desiree just moved in down the block. 25 00:01:11,401 --> 00:01:12,668 Fun. Where? 314. 26 00:01:12,736 --> 00:01:14,670 Oh, the two-bedroom cottage 27 00:01:14,738 --> 00:01:16,605 With the indoor/outdoor family room. 28 00:01:16,673 --> 00:01:18,274 Very good. How did you -- 29 00:01:18,341 --> 00:01:19,775 Bet you're loving that steam shower. 30 00:01:19,843 --> 00:01:21,777 Phil, that's creepy. Oh, sorry. 31 00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,079 [ laughs ] I'm a real-estate mogul. 32 00:01:24,147 --> 00:01:26,449 What?! No, I am a real-estate agent. 33 00:01:26,516 --> 00:01:28,017 Um, we caravanned that house. 34 00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:29,185 Great, uh, deck. 35 00:01:29,252 --> 00:01:30,319 Thanks. 36 00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:32,588 I'm just there till my divorce is final. 37 00:01:32,656 --> 00:01:34,924 Now, who is coconuts enough to dorce you? 38 00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,393 We got to go, but we'll see yoaround. 39 00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:39,662 Well, we'll have to have you over sometime. 40 00:01:39,729 --> 00:01:41,397 I'd love it. All right. 41 00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,365 Bye. Bye. 42 00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:44,366 She's awesome. 43 00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:45,968 No, we are never having her over. 44 00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:48,838 I heard she already slept with two dads from the school. 45 00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,005 What? Mm-hmm. 46 00:01:50,073 --> 00:01:52,107 That's...Horrible. 47 00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:53,476 Luke: Dad! Watch out. 48 00:01:53,543 --> 00:01:55,244 Oh, watch it, buddy. 49 00:01:55,312 --> 00:01:56,412 Grandma. 50 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,546 I'm sorry. 51 00:01:57,614 --> 00:01:59,315 That still looks like a girl's bike. 52 00:01:59,382 --> 00:02:01,083 Well, we'll add more black tape. 53 00:02:01,151 --> 00:02:04,753 Phil: My son has been riding his sister's old bike. 54 00:02:04,821 --> 00:02:06,155 Until he's responsible enough 55 00:02:06,223 --> 00:02:07,623 To take care of his own bike. 56 00:02:07,691 --> 00:02:09,492 Look, he spilled a soda on my computer. 57 00:02:09,559 --> 00:02:12,561 He ruined our digital camera taking pictures of himself underwater. 58 00:02:12,629 --> 00:02:13,796 It's a girl's bike. 59 00:02:13,864 --> 00:02:15,397 I'm all for teaching him a lesson, 60 00:02:15,465 --> 00:02:17,600 But I worry about the ridicule he might get 61 00:02:17,667 --> 00:02:19,435 From some loudmouth bully. 62 00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:20,636 [ horn honks ] 63 00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:22,137 [ laughing ] hey. 64 00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:23,606 Nice bike, sally. 65 00:02:23,673 --> 00:02:25,007 Dad! 66 00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:27,209 Come on. He looks like little bo peep on that thing. 67 00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,778 Actually, not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon. 68 00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:30,746 I am? Mm-hmm. 69 00:02:30,814 --> 00:02:32,014 He is? 70 00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:34,717 Phil: Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down 71 00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:36,585 And do what a man's gotta do. 72 00:02:36,653 --> 00:02:38,487 And if the old lady don't like it... 73 00:02:38,555 --> 00:02:40,122 Honey? 74 00:02:42,626 --> 00:02:44,994 ...That's too damn bad. 75 00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,763 Mitchell: Yes! Who's excited, huh? 76 00:02:47,831 --> 00:02:50,399 Cam, come on. Hurry up. We're gonna be late. 77 00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:53,135 It's a toddler play class, not a flight to cabo. 78 00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:55,371 We're gonna be judged enough as the only gay parents there. 79 00:02:55,438 --> 00:02:56,839 I don't want to be the late ones, too. 80 00:02:56,907 --> 00:02:59,608 Wow. Paisley and pink. 81 00:02:59,676 --> 00:03:01,810 Was there something wrong with the fishnet tank top? 82 00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:03,812 Obviously not -- I'm wearing it underneath. 83 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,414 Kidding. Just chill, please. 84 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:07,716 I'm sorry. I just want to make a good first impression. 85 00:03:07,784 --> 00:03:10,052 You mean you want to fit in and not terrify the villagers? 86 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,988 No, hey, come on. Today is about lily, all right? 87 00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:15,291 We -- her future best friend might be in that class, 88 00:03:15,358 --> 00:03:17,693 And I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. 89 00:03:17,761 --> 00:03:20,863 Can you please just... Change your shirt? 90 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,331 Fine. You know what? 91 00:03:22,399 --> 00:03:23,799 I'll just go put on a pair of khakis, maybe a polo shirt, 92 00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:24,833 And everybody will think 93 00:03:24,901 --> 00:03:26,502 We're a couple straight golfing buddies 94 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,704 Who just decided to have a kid together. 95 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,308 Hey, I called that place in napa 96 00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:34,610 And got us upgraded to a villa with a hot tub, 97 00:03:34,678 --> 00:03:36,579 So pack whatever you wear in a hot tub. 98 00:03:36,646 --> 00:03:38,414 Mwah! 99 00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:41,283 I usually wear nothing when I'm in a hot tub. 100 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:44,620 Neralmente no uso nada and my college roommate's wife just had to get a new hip. 101 00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:46,388 [ laughing ] sucker. 102 00:03:46,456 --> 00:03:49,491 Manny's father is taking him for a couple of days to disneyland, 103 00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:51,660 So we're gonna go... To the wine country! 104 00:03:51,728 --> 00:03:54,163 We're gonna drink some wine, eat some good food. 105 00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:57,066 You know, we would do something like this a lot more often 106 00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,934 If it sn't for, you know, manny. 107 00:03:59,002 --> 00:04:00,970 It's good. He keeps us grounded. 108 00:04:01,037 --> 00:04:02,738 Yeah. 109 00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:05,240 Like fog at airport. 110 00:04:05,308 --> 00:04:06,942 Limo gets here at 4:00. 111 00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,744 This morning, I thought I'd go over to the club, hit a few balls. 112 00:04:08,812 --> 00:04:11,480 No! What about the fan in manny's room? 113 00:04:11,548 --> 00:04:12,681 Oh, yeah. 114 00:04:12,749 --> 00:04:13,782 Call a guy. 115 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,352 No! You're supposed to do it with him. 116 00:04:16,419 --> 00:04:19,154 It's important that we teach him how to do things for himself. 117 00:04:19,222 --> 00:04:21,991 In my culture, men take great pride in doing physicalabor. 118 00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:25,527 I know. That's why I hire people from your culture. 119 00:04:25,595 --> 00:04:26,862 [ laughs ] 120 00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:28,797 You're snny! 121 00:04:28,865 --> 00:04:30,866 I'm gonna share that one with my next husband 122 00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:33,369 When we're spending all your money. 123 00:04:34,771 --> 00:04:37,139 Dad, this is the coolest bike ever. 124 00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:38,240 Awesome. 125 00:04:38,308 --> 00:04:40,376 So, listen, buddy. 126 00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:42,177 Certain members of this family 127 00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:44,713 Don't think you can take care of this bad boy. 128 00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:46,715 U mean mom? Your words, not mine. 129 00:04:46,783 --> 00:04:50,552 Look, uh, your mom and I are a team, 130 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,389 And she -- we feel like this is a chance 131 00:04:53,456 --> 00:04:55,891 For you to show some responsibility. 132 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,993 Don't make us look like jerks here. 133 00:04:58,061 --> 00:04:59,194 I won't. 134 00:04:59,262 --> 00:05:01,330 Okay. One more rule. 135 00:05:01,398 --> 00:05:02,398 What? 136 00:05:02,465 --> 00:05:05,234 Have, like, three buttloads of fun. 137 00:05:05,301 --> 00:05:06,301 Thanks, dad. 138 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,679 So, let's do this. 139 00:05:16,746 --> 00:05:18,547 Okay, but I need to be done by 3:00. 140 00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:20,616 That's when my dad's picking me up. 141 00:05:20,684 --> 00:05:21,984 Hey, if we're not done by 3:00, 142 00:05:22,052 --> 00:05:23,686 I'm gonna tie a noose on this thing. 143 00:05:23,753 --> 00:05:25,521 Gloria: In colombia, there's a saying -- 144 00:05:25,588 --> 00:05:29,224 If you have two stubborn burros that don't like each other, 145 00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:31,593 You tie them to the same cart. 146 00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:34,396 The ceiling fan is the cart. 147 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,532 My dad's takg me on space mountain. 148 00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:39,535 It's supposed to be really fast, but he's not scared of anything. 149 00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:42,004 He d't even wear a seat belt when he drives. 150 00:05:42,072 --> 00:05:43,505 Wow. How about that? 151 00:05:43,573 --> 00:05:44,973 He killed a bear once. 152 00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:48,177 Really? Was the bear sitting in the passenger seat? 153 00:05:48,244 --> 00:05:50,713 Read me the instructions. 154 00:05:50,780 --> 00:05:51,980 "safety tips. 155 00:05:52,048 --> 00:05:54,183 Warning. To reduce the risk of electrical shock --" 156 00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:55,684 We can skip that. 157 00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,154 Uh, "failure to heed these warnings 158 00:05:59,222 --> 00:06:00,956 Can lead to serious injury or death --" 159 00:06:01,024 --> 00:06:03,092 You know, you worry too much. You know that. 160 00:06:03,159 --> 00:06:04,827 Nobody's gonna get shocked. 161 00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:06,495 One time, my dad was struck by lightning. 162 00:06:06,563 --> 00:06:08,664 That's why he can drink as much as he wants. 163 00:06:08,732 --> 00:06:12,167 Jay: Manny thinks his dad is like superman. 164 00:06:12,235 --> 00:06:14,136 The truth? He's a total flake. 165 00:06:14,204 --> 00:06:16,638 In fact, the only way he's like superman 166 00:06:16,706 --> 00:06:19,708 Is that they both landed in this country illegally. 167 00:06:19,776 --> 00:06:22,077 [ music playing ] 168 00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:23,879 Mitchell: I can't believe I'm so nervous. 169 00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:26,081 They're gonna love us. Let's just be ourselves. 170 00:06:26,149 --> 00:06:28,550 Or a slightly toned-down version of ourselves. 171 00:06:28,618 --> 00:06:29,618 [ scoffs ] 172 00:06:29,686 --> 00:06:30,719 I j-- I just don't want this 173 00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:32,121 To become an episode of "the cam show." 174 00:06:32,188 --> 00:06:34,022 Oh, my gosh, people love "the cam show." yes, I know. 175 00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:35,491 You watch "the cam show." I do watch it. 176 00:06:35,558 --> 00:06:36,725 It's appointment viewing. Okay. 177 00:06:36,793 --> 00:06:38,093 Hi! Hi! 178 00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:39,328 Are you here for toddler time? 179 00:06:39,395 --> 00:06:40,596 Yes, I-I'm mitchell, 180 00:06:40,663 --> 00:06:43,031 This is cameron, and this here is lily. 181 00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:44,933 Oh, well, welcome. 182 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,836 We're all over here taking turns blowing bubbles. 183 00:06:47,904 --> 00:06:51,607 Oh, well, how nice for... 184 00:06:51,674 --> 00:06:53,142 The babies. 185 00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:56,745 Mm-hmm. [ chuckles ] 186 00:06:56,813 --> 00:06:58,847 This is gonna be really difficult. 187 00:07:09,893 --> 00:07:12,261 Phil: 10 minutes after making a promise to me, 188 00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:13,729 He leaves his bike unlocked. 189 00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:16,465 All I can hear is claire's voice in my head -- 190 00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,267 [ high-pitched ] "he's not responsible. 191 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:21,236 You never should have given him a bike." 192 00:07:21,304 --> 00:07:24,239 [ normal voice ] I know. I do a pretty good claire. 193 00:07:24,307 --> 00:07:27,209 So I decided to teach him a lesson 194 00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:30,445 And let him think his bike was stolen. 195 00:07:30,513 --> 00:07:31,947 Now, I know that sounds kind of rough, 196 00:07:32,015 --> 00:07:34,883 But sometimes it's a dad's job to be the tough guy. 197 00:07:34,951 --> 00:07:36,852 Excuse me. Thank you. 198 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,520 On your left. My left, your right. 199 00:07:39,332 --> 00:07:43,332 Everyone, we have a new family joining us today. 200 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,769 I'm, uh, I'm mitchell, and I am a lawyer. 201 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:50,405 I-I'm cameron, and I'm currently not working, 202 00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:53,141 Which gives me more time to grill 203 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,343 And shoot baskets and -- 204 00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:57,211 And this is lily. 205 00:07:57,279 --> 00:07:59,647 Okay, we're gonna start with the hello dance, 206 00:07:59,715 --> 00:08:02,317 And then we're gonna move on to blocks and finger painting, 207 00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:04,552 And then we're gonna do our family dance. 208 00:08:04,620 --> 00:08:06,688 All right, who wants to start us off? 209 00:08:06,755 --> 00:08:09,190 Dance us in, p.J.! 210 00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,326 [ music playing ] 211 00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:15,463 She's adorable. 212 00:08:15,531 --> 00:08:16,664 Oh, thank you. 213 00:08:16,732 --> 00:08:17,765 7 months? 214 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:19,133 Uh, 8. 215 00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:22,103 Oh! Is she grabbing or scooting yet? 216 00:08:22,171 --> 00:08:23,204 Y-yes, absolutely. 217 00:08:23,272 --> 00:08:25,139 I mean, when she's not grabbing, 218 00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:27,408 She is -- she is scootin'. [ chuckles ] 219 00:08:27,476 --> 00:08:29,677 Danielle: Dance us in, tyler! 220 00:08:29,745 --> 00:08:31,346 [ gasps ] are you ready? 221 00:08:31,413 --> 00:08:32,480 Okay, here we go! 222 00:08:32,548 --> 00:08:34,015 Whoo! 223 00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,116 Whee! 224 00:08:35,184 --> 00:08:37,752 Cam, lily is not grabbing or scooting yet. 225 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:41,089 Well, she's not doing it yet, but she will eventually. 226 00:08:41,156 --> 00:08:43,791 No, a lot of these other kids, they're... 227 00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:44,826 They're grabbing. 228 00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,060 I-I just... 229 00:08:46,128 --> 00:08:48,262 Here, lily, look at the -- look at the block, huh? 230 00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,697 Grab the block, lily. Grab the "h." 231 00:08:49,765 --> 00:08:52,033 Dance us in, lily! 232 00:08:52,101 --> 00:08:53,868 Okay, I got this. Cam, just -- 233 00:08:53,936 --> 00:08:55,636 Yes, I know -- tamp down my natural gifts 234 00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:56,971 And dance like a straight guy. 235 00:08:57,039 --> 00:08:58,239 No slapping your own butt. 236 00:08:58,307 --> 00:09:00,041 But that's how I make my horsey go. 237 00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:01,075 [ coos ] 238 00:09:01,143 --> 00:09:02,210 [ grunts ] 239 00:09:12,254 --> 00:09:13,588 Thank you. 240 00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:17,692 That was very good. 241 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,360 I feel dirty. 242 00:09:22,598 --> 00:09:23,831 Oh, hey. 243 00:09:23,899 --> 00:09:25,199 Hey! Hi! 244 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,300 Hi. 245 00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:28,302 Hi, uh, this is really embarrassing, 246 00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:30,671 But I locked myself out of my house. 247 00:09:30,739 --> 00:09:33,574 Oh, tsh! I do it all the time. Don't be embarrassed. 248 00:09:33,642 --> 00:09:35,109 [ chuckles ] 249 00:09:35,177 --> 00:09:37,478 I was -- I was hoping you could help me. 250 00:09:37,546 --> 00:09:39,614 There's a window open, but I can't reach it. 251 00:09:39,681 --> 00:09:41,115 Would you mind? 252 00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,854 Yeah, sure. Great. Yeah.. 253 00:09:46,922 --> 00:09:48,723 Of course. [ chuckles ] you know what they say -- 254 00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:52,226 Every time god closes a door, he opens a window. 255 00:09:52,294 --> 00:09:55,096 Or I guess ithis case, every time he locks you out. 256 00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:56,631 Okay, what do we got here? 257 00:09:56,698 --> 00:09:59,634 I mean, am I attracted to her? Yes. 258 00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:02,036 Would I ever act on it? No. No way. 259 00:10:02,104 --> 00:10:05,373 Not while my wife is still alive. 260 00:10:05,441 --> 00:10:07,508 Are you sure I can't get you something to drink? 261 00:10:07,576 --> 00:10:09,777 Yeah, no, I'm -- I'm fine, really. 262 00:10:09,845 --> 00:10:12,213 If I knew a man was gonna climb into my bedroom window, 263 00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:13,714 I would have cleaned up a bit. 264 00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:14,982 Are you kidding me? 265 00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:17,051 It smelled great in there, like lotions and oils. 266 00:10:17,119 --> 00:10:21,022 For...Dry skin and, you know, calloused hands. 267 00:10:21,090 --> 00:10:22,623 Yeah. It's a candle. 268 00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:23,691 Uh-oh. 269 00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:25,726 What's wrong? 270 00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:27,061 The bike's gone. 271 00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:29,197 Oh, no. Can I help you find it? 272 00:10:29,264 --> 00:10:31,232 That's all right. Thank you. 273 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:33,267 Okay. Thank you! 274 00:10:34,903 --> 00:10:37,505 So, to teach him a lesson, I took his bike, 275 00:10:37,573 --> 00:10:40,007 And then -- crazy thing -- I put it down for one minute, 276 00:10:40,075 --> 00:10:42,243 And someone swiped it from me. 277 00:10:42,311 --> 00:10:44,712 Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson. 278 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,214 [ chuckles ] 279 00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:48,216 Zinger! 280 00:10:48,283 --> 00:10:49,450 So... 281 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:53,287 Any chance I could get a break on this one? 282 00:10:53,355 --> 00:10:55,323 I can throw in a bell. Deal. 283 00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,024 For $5. No, sir. 284 00:10:57,092 --> 00:10:58,759 So, you want to go for the insurance this time, 285 00:10:58,827 --> 00:11:00,128 Or is it still for suckers? 286 00:11:00,195 --> 00:11:01,896 Ha ha! 287 00:11:01,964 --> 00:11:03,831 Got me again. 288 00:11:03,899 --> 00:11:06,501 Well played, milord. 289 00:11:06,568 --> 00:11:08,203 I will take some insurance. Thank you. 290 00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:10,205 Gloria: What's going on in there? 291 00:11:10,273 --> 00:11:11,540 Manny: That's not step 4. 292 00:11:11,308 --> 00:11:12,441 Don't worry about it. 293 00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:14,143 Well, it says right here that -- 294 00:11:14,211 --> 00:11:15,578 That's worrying about it. 295 00:11:15,645 --> 00:11:17,880 I thought you guys might need a drink. 296 00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,582 Oh, you have no idea. 297 00:11:19,649 --> 00:11:23,118 Manny, mi amor, I have to go get some stuff for our trip. 298 00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:25,421 Ay, but have some fun with your father, okay? 299 00:11:25,488 --> 00:11:27,756 And I'll see you Monday. Mwah! 300 00:11:27,824 --> 00:11:31,694 Makes me so happy to see my two boys working together. 301 00:11:31,761 --> 00:11:33,929 Jay shocked himself twice. Okay, manny. 302 00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,064 Well, I warned him. 303 00:11:35,131 --> 00:11:35,765 Yep, he's been a big help. 304 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:40,068 Look at you two with your private jokes already. 305 00:11:40,136 --> 00:11:42,271 You're a regular salazar and el oso. 306 00:11:42,338 --> 00:11:43,472 [ chuckles ] 307 00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,275 It's a very big comedy team in colombia. 308 00:11:46,342 --> 00:11:48,377 El oso is always hitting salazar in the head 309 00:11:48,444 --> 00:11:49,912 Headder and things, 310 00:11:49,979 --> 00:11:52,281 And sometimes they wear dresses. [ chuckles ] 311 00:11:52,348 --> 00:11:55,951 They make you laugh, but they also make you think. 312 00:11:57,954 --> 00:12:00,022 "you blew it. You made me look bad." 313 00:12:00,089 --> 00:12:02,691 No, "you made your mother and I look bad. 314 00:12:02,759 --> 00:12:03,759 We are a team." 315 00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:05,394 Luke, you in there? 316 00:12:05,461 --> 00:12:06,828 Luke: Hey, dad. 317 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:07,863 Hey. Hey, buddy. 318 00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:09,264 [ video game beeping ] 319 00:12:09,332 --> 00:12:11,466 That was, uh, that was pretty fun today, huh, 320 00:12:11,534 --> 00:12:12,634 Gettin' a new bike? 321 00:12:12,702 --> 00:12:13,902 Yeah, it was awesome. 322 00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:15,737 So, uh, what happened after I took off? 323 00:12:15,805 --> 00:12:17,673 Anything you want to share with me? 324 00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,041 Not really. 325 00:12:19,108 --> 00:12:20,842 So if I went out to the garage 326 00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:23,111 To take a picture for the scrapbook, 327 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:24,646 There'd be no surprises? 328 00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:27,683 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. 329 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:28,951 I just made a mistake. 330 00:12:29,018 --> 00:12:30,986 Yeah, a big mistake! 331 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,055 You're making me look really bad here. 332 00:12:33,122 --> 00:12:35,057 I told mom you were ready for this. 333 00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:36,191 It's just a scratch, dad. 334 00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:37,859 That's not the point, luke -- what? 335 00:12:37,927 --> 00:12:40,128 I scratched it on my way into the driveway. 336 00:12:40,196 --> 00:12:41,530 I'm sorry. 337 00:12:41,598 --> 00:12:44,099 So...It's not stolen? 338 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,535 No. Why? 339 00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:49,638 That's good, 'cause... 340 00:12:49,706 --> 00:12:51,940 There are bad people out there who would steal a bike. 341 00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:53,742 Those are thieves. 342 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:56,612 You sit there and think about the scratch part. That's not good, either. 343 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:57,946 [ crack ] gonna fix that step. 344 00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,881 So don't scratch anything while I'm gone. 345 00:12:59,949 --> 00:13:01,450 Unless it itches -- that's different. 346 00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:06,021 The good news is, luke has his bike. 347 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,656 More good news -- 348 00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,925 I taught some random kid a valuable lesson 349 00:13:09,993 --> 00:13:11,460 By stealing his bike. 350 00:13:11,527 --> 00:13:14,029 Best news -- claire knows nothing. 351 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:17,099 So, I figure I'll just dump the new bike 352 00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:18,800 Where I stole the first bike. 353 00:13:18,868 --> 00:13:21,036 That way, random kid gets his back, 354 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,805 And this new bike doesn't rais a lot of embarrassing questions, 355 00:13:23,873 --> 00:13:25,007 Like why I had it 356 00:13:25,074 --> 00:13:27,843 Or who boosted who through a bedroom window. 357 00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,412 So, everybods happy. 358 00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:32,649 Uh-oh. 359 00:13:32,716 --> 00:13:34,183 Oh, son of a -- 360 00:13:34,251 --> 00:13:36,219 You gave me the wrong screwdriver. 361 00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:38,254 Maybe you're just using it wrong. 362 00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:39,856 My dad's great with tools. 363 00:13:39,923 --> 00:13:41,991 He can get the wheels off a car in less than a minute. 364 00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:44,193 Just get me to wine country. Just get me to wine -- 365 00:13:44,261 --> 00:13:45,194 Ooh. Oh! 366 00:13:45,262 --> 00:13:46,429 Aah! Sorry. 367 00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:47,964 I think my arm is broken. 368 00:13:48,032 --> 00:13:49,332 Relax. It's not broken. 369 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,401 How do you know? You don't know anything! 370 00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:53,102 You have no concern for safety. 371 00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:55,038 Because it didn't hit you that hard. 372 00:13:55,105 --> 00:13:57,440 Why don't you just say it? You don't want me around. 373 00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:58,841 You know what? Right now, I don't. 374 00:13:58,909 --> 00:14:00,743 I don't want to be with you, either. 375 00:14:00,811 --> 00:14:02,078 I'm gonna go wait for my dad. 376 00:14:02,146 --> 00:14:03,980 [ mockingly ] oh, but -- but if you leave, 377 00:14:04,048 --> 00:14:05,515 How will I ever finish? 378 00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:08,751 You know what? I wish you never married my mom. 379 00:14:08,819 --> 00:14:10,053 I hate living here. 380 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,521 You think I like this arrangement? 381 00:14:11,588 --> 00:14:14,891 I got a two-seater parked in the driveway. 382 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,141 [ laughs ] I mean, I don't understand. 383 00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:21,210 Why are you trying to sneak around and hide things from me? 384 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,578 I actually think it's pretty funny. 385 00:14:22,646 --> 00:14:23,746 You do? 386 00:14:23,813 --> 00:14:25,180 I do, yes. 387 00:14:25,248 --> 00:14:27,683 I mean, you steal a bike from some poor kid 388 00:14:27,751 --> 00:14:30,219 And then the bike gets stolen from you -- 389 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,387 That's hilarious. 390 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,656 [ laughs ] classic me, right? 391 00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:36,392 Yeah! So, where were you when it got stolen? 392 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,927 Oh, I was getting some gas. 393 00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,228 Uh-huh. Yeah. 394 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,363 You don't stand near the car when you get gas? 395 00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:43,098 Yep, but, uh, I went inside 396 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,567 To get a soda because I was thirsty, 397 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,669 And if I had a sod I wouldn't be thirsty anymore, 398 00:14:46,736 --> 00:14:48,871 So I bought one, and then I drank it all right there, 399 00:14:48,939 --> 00:14:50,306 Which is why I don't have the can. 400 00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,540 Well, honey, please, 401 00:14:51,608 --> 00:14:54,543 Let's try to remember that I'm your wife, not your mom, 402 00:14:54,611 --> 00:14:57,846 So in the future, you don't need to hide things from me, okay? 403 00:14:57,914 --> 00:14:59,848 Okay. Okay. 404 00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:02,851 Ohh! Oh, yeah! 405 00:15:02,919 --> 00:15:04,219 You get back here, you! 406 00:15:04,287 --> 00:15:05,788 Claire: What are you doing, phil? 407 00:15:05,855 --> 00:15:07,056 I just love you so darn much! 408 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,724 I know, I love you, too, but that hurts. 409 00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,159 Let's get you inside. 410 00:15:10,226 --> 00:15:11,193 It is a hot one. Hi! 411 00:15:11,261 --> 00:15:12,595 I know. That's hurting a lot. 412 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,196 This is a hot one. Hello! Hi, there! 413 00:15:14,264 --> 00:15:15,798 Oh, hi! Hi, again. 414 00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:18,000 I, uh, found your bike. 415 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,201 Uh... 416 00:15:19,269 --> 00:15:21,770 Oh, good! You -- the -- at the gas station? 417 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,238 No, at my house. 418 00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:25,441 One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage 419 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,676 When you were in my bedroom, so... 420 00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,982 Classic me? 421 00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:35,884 Come on, honey, grab the block. 422 00:15:35,952 --> 00:15:37,653 See, like did. You got to do that. 423 00:15:37,721 --> 00:15:38,821 You got to grab it like him. 424 00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:41,557 So, you seen any m-movies lately? 425 00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:42,891 Uh, yeah. 426 00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:46,962 You know, my husband and I just rented, uh, "mamma mia," 427 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,597 Which I liked, but... 428 00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:51,166 I don't know that meryl streep was the right choice. 429 00:15:51,234 --> 00:15:53,268 What did you think? 430 00:15:53,336 --> 00:15:55,638 Cameron: Excuse me -- 431 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,674 Meryl streep could play batman and be the right choice. 432 00:15:58,742 --> 00:16:00,175 She's perfection, 433 00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:03,278 Whether she's divorcing kramer, whether she's wearing prada. 434 00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:06,081 Don't even get me started on "sophie's choice." 435 00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:08,550 I get emotional thinking about it. 436 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:12,621 She couldn't forgive herself. 437 00:16:15,992 --> 00:16:17,259 [ whimpers ] 438 00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,695 I guess she was okay. 439 00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:21,363 Really? Ugh. 440 00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,098 Ugh, ugh, ugh. 441 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,533 Mitchell: Grab the block, sweetheart. 442 00:16:24,601 --> 00:16:25,868 You're not even interested in it. 443 00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:27,136 Danielle: Is henry stacking? 444 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,271 Good job, henry! 445 00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:30,839 Good job! 446 00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:37,279 ¶ q, r, s ¶ 447 00:16:37,347 --> 00:16:38,947 ¶ t, u, v ¶ 448 00:16:39,015 --> 00:16:42,785 ¶ w, x, y, and z ¶ 449 00:16:42,852 --> 00:16:45,187 ¶ now I know my... ¶ 450 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,989 Whoa, lily! 451 00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:49,091 Oh, not so high! 452 00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:49,526 Oh! 453 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,928 That is a big moment for her. 454 00:16:51,996 --> 00:16:53,930 Yeah. Would you like a videotape? 455 00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,532 Uh, you know, I don't -- I don't know 456 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:57,634 If I can actually get her to do it again, so... 457 00:16:57,702 --> 00:17:00,770 Well, we tape all of our classes. 458 00:17:00,838 --> 00:17:02,238 We don't like parents bringing cameras in. 459 00:17:02,306 --> 00:17:03,606 It takes them out of the moment. 460 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:04,874 I'll get you a copy after class. 461 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,277 That's super. Yeah. Thank you. 462 00:17:08,913 --> 00:17:09,979 Mitchell: Cam. Cam, let's go. 463 00:17:10,047 --> 00:17:11,614 I-I don't know what's happened to me, 464 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,750 But I just stole a baby's intellectual property. 465 00:17:13,818 --> 00:17:15,685 What? You'll see it tonight on the news. 466 00:17:15,753 --> 00:17:16,953 Let's just go. 467 00:17:17,021 --> 00:17:18,755 Danielle: Oh, look who's here -- 468 00:17:18,823 --> 00:17:20,790 Anton and scott! 469 00:17:20,858 --> 00:17:21,958 Hi! Sorry we're late! 470 00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:23,259 Scott: Don't look at me -- 471 00:17:23,327 --> 00:17:25,095 The eye candy here can't leave the house 472 00:17:25,162 --> 00:17:27,430 Without spending 20 minutes in front of the mirror. 473 00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:28,364 [ laughter ] 474 00:17:28,432 --> 00:17:30,033 Are you kidding me? 475 00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:31,434 I am so sorry. 476 00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:32,535 Look at those queens. 477 00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,170 I would have killed with this crowd, 478 00:17:34,238 --> 00:17:35,872 But you had to clip my wings, 479 00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:37,707 Which you used to be the wind beneath. 480 00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:39,042 I know. I'm sorry. 481 00:17:39,110 --> 00:17:40,777 This class has turned me into a complete monster. 482 00:17:40,845 --> 00:17:41,878 I'm -- I just -- 483 00:17:41,946 --> 00:17:43,379 I'll make it up to you. Let's just go. 484 00:17:43,447 --> 00:17:46,349 Okay, it's time for parents dance! 485 00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:49,085 Everybody dance for your baby! 486 00:17:49,153 --> 00:17:51,321 [ dance music plays ] 487 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,257 You want to do it, don't you? 488 00:17:54,325 --> 00:17:56,025 I do. 489 00:17:56,093 --> 00:17:57,894 I want to dance for my baby. 490 00:17:57,962 --> 00:17:59,896 [ sighs ] all right, go on, get in there. 491 00:17:59,964 --> 00:18:00,897 You sure? 492 00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:03,466 Make that horsey move. Go ahead. 493 00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:10,340 [ all cheering ] 494 00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,155 Oh, I think I hurt myself. 495 00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:40,470 [ telephone rings ] 496 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:42,972 [ beep ] 497 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,207 Hello. 498 00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:45,875 Hey, javier. 499 00:18:45,943 --> 00:18:48,878 Manny's waiting for you outside. 500 00:18:48,946 --> 00:18:50,446 What? 501 00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:53,116 Why not? 502 00:18:53,184 --> 00:18:55,652 Hold that thought. 503 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:59,622 His son's sitting on a curb, waiting to go to disneyland, 504 00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:02,960 And superman can't drag himself away from a craps table. 505 00:19:03,928 --> 00:19:06,062 And I'm the jerk. 506 00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:10,667 Say, listen... 507 00:19:10,735 --> 00:19:12,969 I, uh... 508 00:19:13,037 --> 00:19:15,171 Sorry, but I got some bad news. 509 00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,339 What? 510 00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:18,808 Your dad couldn't make it. 511 00:19:18,876 --> 00:19:20,143 Why not? 512 00:19:20,211 --> 00:19:21,544 The plane was full, 513 00:19:21,612 --> 00:19:24,280 And this old lady needed to get home, 514 00:19:24,348 --> 00:19:25,982 So he gave up his seat. 515 00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:27,550 You're making that up, aren't you? 516 00:19:27,618 --> 00:19:28,551 No. 517 00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:30,020 He just didn't want to come. 518 00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:32,122 Are you kidding me? He was very upset. 519 00:19:32,189 --> 00:19:35,325 He was dying to see you. 520 00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:38,328 In fact, look what he sent. 521 00:19:38,396 --> 00:19:39,496 A limo? 522 00:19:39,563 --> 00:19:40,764 Yeah! 523 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,667 He wanted me and your mom to take you to disneyland. 524 00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,535 I told you he was an awesome dad. 525 00:19:45,603 --> 00:19:47,604 Yeah, he's a prince. 526 00:19:47,672 --> 00:19:49,072 Let me see... 527 00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:53,009 Okay, the key to being a good dad? 528 00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,979 Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. 529 00:19:56,047 --> 00:19:56,347 Race you to the end. 530 00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:59,116 That is not a good idea... For you. 531 00:20:00,986 --> 00:20:02,753 Sometimes they don't. 532 00:20:02,821 --> 00:20:04,655 You got to hang in there... 533 00:20:04,723 --> 00:20:07,925 Because when all is said and done... 534 00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:13,230 ...90% of being a dad -- 535 00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:16,367 Just showing up. 536 00:20:27,612 --> 00:20:29,380 Hey! That's my bike! 537 00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:32,950 Oh. I don't, uh... 538 00:20:33,018 --> 00:20:34,251 Well... 539 00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:37,403 I was giving it back! 540 00:20:40,691 --> 00:20:42,625 [ voice breaking ] she couldn't forgive herself. 541 00:20:42,693 --> 00:20:45,361 And... 542 00:20:45,429 --> 00:20:46,863 She had to choose. 543 00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:49,465 And I think because now I have -- 544 00:20:49,533 --> 00:20:51,301 We have -- we have l-- 545 00:20:51,368 --> 00:20:52,635 We have lily, 546 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:57,073 It's so hard to imagine being put in that position. 547 00:20:57,141 --> 00:20:59,542 If I had to choose lily or mitchell, 548 00:20:59,610 --> 00:21:01,277 I mean, I would choose l-- 549 00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:04,948 I don't know! I just -- I don't know! 550 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,216 Transcript by addic7ed.com Sync door dvdmeer www.bierdopje.com 551 00:21:07,284 --> 00:21:09,218 I don't know! 552 00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:12,021 I don't know!