1
00:00:00,827 --> 00:00:02,296
[siren wailing]
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:04,198
Do we know anything?
3
00:00:04,232 --> 00:00:05,496
Oh, no. They're in there now
with the doctor.
4
00:00:05,563 --> 00:00:06,636
We're lucky, though.
5
00:00:06,671 --> 00:00:08,725
The paramedics said
it could've been a lot worse.
6
00:00:08,772 --> 00:00:10,461
My God,
how did this even happen?
7
00:00:13,234 --> 00:00:15,818
There he is.
Big day's coming up.
8
00:00:15,853 --> 00:00:17,294
What do you want
for your birthday, big dog?
9
00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:18,559
It's okay.
I'm good.
10
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:21,523
Come on.
The sky's the limit.
11
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:23,376
Dream big, my boy.
12
00:00:23,621 --> 00:00:26,117
- Well, I guess I could use a belt.
- A belt?
13
00:00:26,184 --> 00:00:28,058
Yeah, you're right.
I don't need it.
14
00:00:28,688 --> 00:00:30,511
An extension cord
works pretty good.
15
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:33,879
PHIL:
Every year, Luke's birthday
16
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:35,239
falls right around
Thanksgiving,
17
00:00:35,306 --> 00:00:38,079
and so it gets lost
in the holiday shuffle.
18
00:00:38,114 --> 00:00:39,562
Yeah, one year
we forgot completely,
19
00:00:39,597 --> 00:00:41,397
and we had to improvise
a cake out of stuffing.
20
00:00:41,465 --> 00:00:42,862
Which, by the way,
he was fine with.
21
00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:44,260
He's one of those kids,
you get him a gift,
22
00:00:44,328 --> 00:00:45,826
and all he wants to do
is play with the box.
23
00:00:45,892 --> 00:00:48,191
Yeah, one year we actually
just got him a box--
24
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,520
a really nice box.
25
00:00:49,589 --> 00:00:52,151
And we made the mistake
of putting it in a gift bag.
26
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,614
So he played
with the gift bag.
27
00:00:54,682 --> 00:00:55,947
- W-we can't get it right.
- No.
28
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:58,278
I feel terrible.
We got to do something.
29
00:00:58,344 --> 00:00:59,474
Oh, yeah.
30
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:01,042
Um, well, you know,
the family
31
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:02,701
is gonna be together
for Thanksgiving
32
00:01:02,736 --> 00:01:04,335
for the first time in, I don't
even know how long, so--
33
00:01:04,403 --> 00:01:06,168
I am so with you--
we should blow this out
34
00:01:06,235 --> 00:01:08,397
and throw Luke the best
birthday party of all time.
35
00:01:08,465 --> 00:01:10,428
Yes, yes, and we'll order
a whole bunch of pizzas,
36
00:01:10,495 --> 00:01:12,426
and-- and-- and set up
an arts-and-crafts table.
37
00:01:12,493 --> 00:01:14,258
- A what?
- Yeah, a crafts table.
38
00:01:14,323 --> 00:01:16,934
You know, everybody gathers
around, and they make stuff,
39
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:18,885
and, then, bam, they got
their own party favor.
40
00:01:18,952 --> 00:01:20,409
[snores]
Sorry, I fell asleep
41
00:01:20,444 --> 00:01:22,317
while you were describing
the most boring party ever.
42
00:01:22,352 --> 00:01:22,944
[chuckles]
43
00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,177
Ow!
44
00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:39,860
See you
in a few hours.
45
00:01:39,895 --> 00:01:41,920
Yeah. Thanks again
for the karaoke machine.
46
00:01:41,955 --> 00:01:43,253
I'll get it back to you
right after the party.
47
00:01:43,322 --> 00:01:44,319
That'd be great.
48
00:01:44,659 --> 00:01:46,550
Please don't.
I beg you. Don't.
49
00:01:46,585 --> 00:01:47,648
Don't bring it back.
50
00:01:47,715 --> 00:01:50,145
Hey, Phil, are you getting
a clown for today?
51
00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:53,903
Oh, no, Luke--
Luke's not much of a clown fan.
52
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:56,506
- Really?
- Yeah, he never liked them.
53
00:01:56,671 --> 00:01:57,941
Has he ever seen
a good one?
54
00:01:58,566 --> 00:02:00,904
Has-- has anyone?
[laughs]
55
00:02:00,939 --> 00:02:02,703
Really? So, anyway,
thanks again.
56
00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:04,416
Okay, yeah,
see you later.
57
00:02:06,381 --> 00:02:08,006
No clown?
No-- no clown?
58
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:08,579
Let it go.
59
00:02:08,924 --> 00:02:11,125
Who throws a party
without a clown?
60
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,325
Since the late '30s,
I'd say most people.
61
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,603
You know what? We haven't
gotten Luke a present yet.
62
00:02:15,638 --> 00:02:17,753
Maybe a clown
could be our present.
63
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:19,492
Cameron, Cameron,
if Phil and Claire
64
00:02:19,527 --> 00:02:21,281
wanted to get Luke a clown,
they would've.
65
00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:22,491
This is not our party.
66
00:02:22,526 --> 00:02:25,111
- But--
- This is not our party.
67
00:02:25,768 --> 00:02:27,103
But-- fine.
68
00:02:27,232 --> 00:02:29,467
What would you suggest
we get him, then?
69
00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:30,941
Get him a gift card.
70
00:02:32,053 --> 00:02:33,687
- A gift card?
- Yeah.
71
00:02:34,785 --> 00:02:35,858
Who hurt you?
72
00:02:40,055 --> 00:02:41,661
Hey, Gloria,
you got any idea
73
00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:42,840
how to wrap one
of these things?
74
00:02:42,908 --> 00:02:44,102
Is that a crossbow?
75
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,736
Yeah. Am I the greatest grandpa
in the world or what?
76
00:02:46,968 --> 00:02:48,829
We can't give Luke
a crossbow.
77
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,694
He pokes himself in the eye
every time he uses a straw.
78
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,965
Are you kidding?
I had one when I was his age.
79
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,497
My dad used to give me a quarter
for every crow I bagged.
80
00:02:56,589 --> 00:02:59,218
And I used to have a machete,
but times have changed.
81
00:02:59,286 --> 00:03:01,479
He'll be fine.
I'll teach him how to use it.
82
00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:03,670
Hey, pal.
How's it going?
83
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,046
- Am I charming?
- Oh, boy.
84
00:03:05,113 --> 00:03:07,808
Of course you're charming.
Who said you were not charming?
85
00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:09,773
No one, but there is
a girl in my school,
86
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,000
and I want her
to like me.
87
00:03:11,073 --> 00:03:12,761
I need your advice, Jay.
88
00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:13,313
Really?
89
00:03:13,835 --> 00:03:15,425
She's gonna be
at Luke's party.
90
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,578
[chuckling]
Well, I'm... a little thrown.
91
00:03:18,663 --> 00:03:20,561
I mean, you don't usually
come to me for advice.
92
00:03:20,855 --> 00:03:23,479
Well, this is one area in which
you've done pretty well.
93
00:03:23,922 --> 00:03:25,149
He has a point.
94
00:03:26,265 --> 00:03:28,410
I've tried everything
to get her attention--
95
00:03:28,445 --> 00:03:31,286
Opening doors, having a milk
sent over in the cafeteria.
96
00:03:31,321 --> 00:03:32,245
Nothing has worked.
97
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,044
Here's the deal.
98
00:03:33,124 --> 00:03:35,172
Girls don't go
for all that romantic stuff.
99
00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:37,455
They go for power
and success.
100
00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:39,343
And since you don't have
either one of those things,
101
00:03:39,671 --> 00:03:41,485
you're gonna be
the funny guy.
102
00:03:42,799 --> 00:03:44,075
No, no,
no, no, no.
103
00:03:44,130 --> 00:03:46,086
I-I want the most dangerous
reptile you've got.
104
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,559
I have an iguana
that eats crickets.
105
00:03:48,593 --> 00:03:50,992
That'd be scary if it was
a birthday party for crickets.
106
00:03:51,688 --> 00:03:53,661
Seriously, Jungle Tanya,
107
00:03:53,696 --> 00:03:54,906
I need you to step it up
a notch.
108
00:03:55,117 --> 00:03:56,908
Is there anything that scares
the cocoa out of you?
109
00:03:57,181 --> 00:03:58,607
Uh, not really.
110
00:03:58,813 --> 00:04:00,188
I do have
a bearded dragon.
111
00:04:00,277 --> 00:04:02,950
- Ooh. Does it--
- No, it does not breathe fire.
112
00:04:03,441 --> 00:04:05,165
Well, then, we're back
to square one, aren't we?
113
00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:07,688
[sighs]
114
00:04:07,934 --> 00:04:10,095
I couldn't get Luke
out of my mind.
115
00:04:11,075 --> 00:04:12,895
I know I made a promise
to Mitchell,
116
00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:15,909
but some things
are bigger than promises.
117
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:20,310
Fizbo would be
at that party.
118
00:04:25,189 --> 00:04:26,494
Hello, old friend.
119
00:04:31,225 --> 00:04:32,539
It all happened
so fast.
120
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,303
I keep thinking there was
something I could've done.
121
00:04:34,371 --> 00:04:35,636
Oh, don't blame yourself.
122
00:04:35,736 --> 00:04:37,378
Who could have
possibly seen it coming?
123
00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:39,731
Sweetie,
t-that's a rock wall.
124
00:04:39,798 --> 00:04:41,527
Is that even safe?
Oh, my God.
125
00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:43,058
Honey, relax.
126
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:45,988
Hey, has anyone ever gotten hurt
on one of these things?
127
00:04:46,056 --> 00:04:47,605
I don't know, man.
It's my first day.
128
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,642
See? They wouldn't let the new
guy do it if it weren't--
129
00:04:49,677 --> 00:04:51,510
- That did not make me feel better.
- Don't worry, I signed
130
00:04:51,545 --> 00:04:53,564
like a hundred releases.
131
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:57,342
When did we decide all this?
I-I think it's too much.
132
00:04:57,377 --> 00:04:59,733
See, I knew you'd say that.
That's why I didn't tell you.
133
00:04:59,806 --> 00:05:01,725
So just relax.
Grab a snow cone.
134
00:05:01,737 --> 00:05:03,817
- There's a snow-cone machine?
- Yeah.
135
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,629
Mom, just so you know,
Dylan cannot have mayonnaise.
136
00:05:06,696 --> 00:05:08,821
That's random.
Why are you telling me that?
137
00:05:08,962 --> 00:05:10,330
Uh, 'cause he's coming
to the party.
138
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,523
Is that
absolutely necessary?
139
00:05:11,591 --> 00:05:13,221
Yes, because she can't go
10 minutes
140
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:14,910
without her boyfriend's tongue
in her mouth.
141
00:05:15,153 --> 00:05:16,651
It's like he's feeding
a baby bird.
142
00:05:16,718 --> 00:05:18,182
Don't be so jealous.
143
00:05:18,249 --> 00:05:20,280
I'm sure you'll meet someone
super hot at computer camp.
144
00:05:20,346 --> 00:05:21,775
- Girls.
- Hey, hey.
145
00:05:22,644 --> 00:05:23,975
So, what you got there?
146
00:05:24,042 --> 00:05:25,739
Oh, these are supplies
for the crafts table.
147
00:05:25,807 --> 00:05:27,619
I finally figured out
what we're gonna be making.
148
00:05:27,671 --> 00:05:29,301
Kids bored?
[chuckles]
149
00:05:29,593 --> 00:05:31,022
I'm teasing.
I'm teasing.
150
00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:32,354
It looks good.
What-- what is it?
151
00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,219
Comb sheaths.
152
00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:36,276
I know, I know.
153
00:05:36,311 --> 00:05:37,748
But we made them
when I was 11 years old
154
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,431
at Donna Rigby's
birthday party.
155
00:05:39,466 --> 00:05:40,777
At first, we thought
it was really stupid,
156
00:05:40,844 --> 00:05:42,143
and then we had
a blast, so...
157
00:05:42,393 --> 00:05:43,122
How could you not?
158
00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,467
You combined the two things
that kids love the most--
159
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:47,648
Combs and sheaths.
160
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,329
I'm kidding!
161
00:05:50,906 --> 00:05:52,188
Where's my comb?
162
00:05:52,297 --> 00:05:53,941
Oh, here it is,
163
00:05:53,976 --> 00:05:56,306
in my incredibly convenient
beaded comb sheath
164
00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:58,748
that I made at Luke's
awesome birthday party.
165
00:05:58,955 --> 00:06:02,643
Hole in one, Mrs. Dunphy.
Hole in one.
166
00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:04,404
I'm home.
167
00:06:05,435 --> 00:06:07,776
I got Luke a video game,
but it's about math,
168
00:06:07,844 --> 00:06:10,794
so... guess we're
those kind of uncles.
169
00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:13,121
Cam?
170
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,270
Don't be mad.
171
00:06:19,762 --> 00:06:22,655
Oh... Cam, I...
172
00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,157
I've known I wanted
to be a clown
173
00:06:24,224 --> 00:06:26,620
since I found out clowns
were just people with makeup.
174
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:29,216
Um, as a matter of fact,
by the time I was a teenager,
175
00:06:29,285 --> 00:06:32,127
if I wasn't in school
or fishin', I was clownin'.
176
00:06:32,546 --> 00:06:34,061
There are four types
of clowns--
177
00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:37,540
A tramp, an auguste,
a whiteface, and a character.
178
00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:40,802
I am a classically trained
auguste clown named Fizbo.
179
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,406
- What?
- N-nothing.
180
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,897
Between the clownin'
and the-- the fishin',
181
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,661
I'm surprised you had time
for the schoolin'.
182
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,051
Oh, and there's the fifth type,
the sad clown.
183
00:06:51,123 --> 00:06:52,491
The sad clown
is a tramp.
184
00:06:53,252 --> 00:06:55,097
So there's still
only four types.
185
00:06:57,946 --> 00:06:59,258
Okay.
186
00:06:59,443 --> 00:07:01,142
Cam, I thought
we discussed this.
187
00:07:01,177 --> 00:07:03,472
We did,
but I-I started thinking.
188
00:07:03,539 --> 00:07:05,169
And this isn't
about you or me.
189
00:07:05,236 --> 00:07:08,000
This is about a little boy
who deserves some happiness.
190
00:07:08,066 --> 00:07:11,362
And he's gonna get that
from his weird gay-clown uncle?
191
00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:14,070
Fizbo is not gay,
he's asexual.
192
00:07:14,126 --> 00:07:15,655
- Ah.
- H-he's an innocent whose only drive
193
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,389
is to bring people joy and
laughter and balloon animals.
194
00:07:18,424 --> 00:07:20,477
He's-- he's the least
sexual being on Earth.
195
00:07:20,512 --> 00:07:20,983
Oh.
196
00:07:21,051 --> 00:07:23,595
Oh, okay, we, at least
we agree on something, yeah.
197
00:07:29,473 --> 00:07:32,901
If this tape
is found in the future,
198
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:36,125
this is how we humans
celebrated birthdays.
199
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,078
LUKE: Hey, Dad!
200
00:07:37,096 --> 00:07:38,694
Yeah, there's my boy,
201
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,657
zip line extreme--
Oh!
202
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:41,890
Ugh!
203
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:43,454
I'm okay. I'm good.
204
00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:45,120
I'm good. Lesson learned.
205
00:07:45,186 --> 00:07:47,318
Don't stand--
Don't stand there.
206
00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:48,948
Let's go ahead
and rope this area off.
207
00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:50,652
Excellent. Thank you.
208
00:07:51,675 --> 00:07:54,037
Hey, buddy.
You having fun?
209
00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:55,899
Yeah,
and I love my new belt.
210
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,435
CLAIRE: Hey, Luke!
211
00:07:57,604 --> 00:07:59,402
Luke, do you want to make
a comb sheath?
212
00:07:59,469 --> 00:08:00,529
A what?
213
00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:02,630
It's a cool leather holder
for your comb.
214
00:08:02,698 --> 00:08:03,929
And you can decorate it.
215
00:08:03,997 --> 00:08:06,392
I've got beads and--
and glitter
216
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,725
and-- and all kinds of stuff.
217
00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:08,524
Do you want to?
218
00:08:08,857 --> 00:08:11,486
Nah, I'm gonna do
the rock wall.
219
00:08:12,470 --> 00:08:14,681
Okay, honey,
it's your day.
220
00:08:14,799 --> 00:08:16,497
Honey, let me know
if you get low on supplies.
221
00:08:16,566 --> 00:08:19,227
I'll make a quick run
back to the 1950s for you.
222
00:08:19,295 --> 00:08:20,325
Aah!
223
00:08:20,947 --> 00:08:22,157
Again?!
224
00:08:22,224 --> 00:08:26,317
Seriously, zip-line guys,
just some ropes.
225
00:08:26,385 --> 00:08:28,549
Did you remember to switch
the whites to the dryer?
226
00:08:28,615 --> 00:08:29,780
Oh, no, I forgot.
227
00:08:29,848 --> 00:08:31,044
They're gonna smell musty.
228
00:08:31,113 --> 00:08:32,676
I know. I'm sorry.
229
00:08:32,744 --> 00:08:34,773
- I'll pump.
- No, no, no, I'll do it.
230
00:08:34,808 --> 00:08:36,604
You just stay right here
and relax.
231
00:08:36,673 --> 00:08:38,968
Oh, I get it. You're worried
about people seeing me.
232
00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:40,067
Without question.
233
00:08:40,135 --> 00:08:41,465
You know,
people are gonna stare.
234
00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:43,177
They're not used to seeing
one clown in a car.
235
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,523
That's her--
Bianca Douglas.
236
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,233
She's so cute.
237
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,346
Yeah, and she has
good handwriting.
238
00:08:52,786 --> 00:08:55,182
She's the complete package.
Wish me luck.
239
00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:56,567
You don't need luck.
240
00:08:56,614 --> 00:08:59,217
You just remember those jokes
I told you, hmm?
241
00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:05,045
- We have to stop meeting like this.
- What?
242
00:09:05,470 --> 00:09:07,699
- We go to school together.
- Oh, yeah.
243
00:09:07,801 --> 00:09:08,998
Do you like jokes?
244
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:09,886
Sure.
245
00:09:10,030 --> 00:09:11,027
Great. Okay.
246
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,226
So, a grasshopper named Gary
walks into a bar.
247
00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:15,990
Oh, no. You're not supposed
to know his name.
248
00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:17,321
Let me try another one,
okay?
249
00:09:17,388 --> 00:09:19,368
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
250
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:21,450
- Interrupting cow.
- Interrupting cow who?
251
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:22,614
Moo.
252
00:09:22,681 --> 00:09:23,780
Oh, crap.
253
00:09:33,568 --> 00:09:36,197
- Um, hey.
- Hey, yourself.
254
00:09:36,499 --> 00:09:37,160
Move.
255
00:09:37,464 --> 00:09:39,293
You kind of just bumped me
with your car.
256
00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:40,284
I don't think so.
257
00:09:40,285 --> 00:09:42,062
No, no, you did,
because, um,
258
00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:43,947
see, yeah,
I got grease on my pants,
259
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:45,319
and then also I felt it.
260
00:09:45,388 --> 00:09:46,485
Call an ambulance.
261
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,482
Okay, I just thought
you might want to know
262
00:09:48,549 --> 00:09:49,903
in case you wanted to be
a decent human being
263
00:09:49,938 --> 00:09:53,193
and apologize,
but... no? Okay.
264
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:54,788
Ass.
265
00:09:57,003 --> 00:09:57,735
What did you say?
266
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:01,533
Just forget
about it, all right?
267
00:10:03,608 --> 00:10:05,038
Listen, carrot top,
I didn't touch you,
268
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,370
so do the smart thing--
269
00:10:06,436 --> 00:10:09,114
Shut your hole, get in your car,
and drive away.
270
00:10:09,148 --> 00:10:10,196
Is there a problem here?
271
00:10:11,446 --> 00:10:12,616
What the hell are you?
272
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:13,994
I'm the ass-kicking clown
273
00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:15,958
that'll twist you
like a balloon animal.
274
00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,788
I will beat your head
against this bumper
275
00:10:17,856 --> 00:10:19,121
until the airbags deploy,
276
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:22,595
so apologize
to my boyfriend right now!
277
00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:23,915
Apologize--
boyfriend?
278
00:10:23,983 --> 00:10:25,012
Apologize!
279
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,511
Okay. I'm sorry.
280
00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:28,727
I'm sorry.
281
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,659
Let's go.
We're gonna be late.
282
00:10:45,588 --> 00:10:46,950
Mind if I come in?
283
00:10:46,984 --> 00:10:48,407
- Sure.
- All right.
284
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,626
Come here.
285
00:10:52,446 --> 00:10:54,151
Why you bounce
so sad?
286
00:10:54,244 --> 00:10:55,741
I told all my jokes.
287
00:10:55,809 --> 00:10:58,344
It turns out
I'm not the funny guy.
288
00:10:58,976 --> 00:11:01,430
The right girl will find you
when it's time,
289
00:11:02,034 --> 00:11:04,969
even though I'm gonna hate
losing you to another woman.
290
00:11:05,130 --> 00:11:06,760
You'll never lose me, Mom.
291
00:11:06,829 --> 00:11:08,826
I'll always love you,
no matter what.
292
00:11:08,893 --> 00:11:12,156
Oh. [speaks Spanish]
[chuckles]
293
00:11:12,191 --> 00:11:14,771
You see right there?
You need no tricks.
294
00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:17,723
Just be the sweet, wonderful
little boy that you are.
295
00:11:18,215 --> 00:11:20,512
Sweet little boy--
Got it.
296
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:22,347
She won't know
what hit her.
297
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,275
[speaking Spanish]
298
00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:28,172
Hey, Manny, want to make
a sweet comb sheath?
299
00:11:28,203 --> 00:11:29,792
Could not be a worse time,
Claire.
300
00:11:32,247 --> 00:11:32,905
PHIL: Oh.
301
00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:35,754
It's so peaceful and quiet
over here.
302
00:11:35,827 --> 00:11:36,834
Ha ha.
303
00:11:36,835 --> 00:11:39,257
If you came over here to gloat,
I already know it's a dud.
304
00:11:39,292 --> 00:11:40,869
Actually, I came
to give you this.
305
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:43,116
It's your
favorite flavor--
306
00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:44,284
Blue.
307
00:11:44,713 --> 00:11:45,712
Thanks, honey.
308
00:11:46,461 --> 00:11:47,968
And your hair
looks really nice.
309
00:11:48,045 --> 00:11:50,781
Mm, thanks.
I've been combing it all day.
310
00:11:51,874 --> 00:11:53,805
All right,
let's all give Luke a big hand
311
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,609
- for being so brave.
- [cheers and applause]
312
00:11:56,644 --> 00:11:59,262
It feels so weird.
What does it eat?
313
00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:01,743
Oh, just little-boy brains.
314
00:12:02,061 --> 00:12:04,153
Well, at least luke's
got nothing to worry about.
315
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:05,627
Is there mayo
in this?
316
00:12:05,662 --> 00:12:06,621
No, you're good.
317
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:11,334
Um, so, I was thinking that
maybe we could go slip away.
318
00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:13,155
So, does anyone want
to pet the iguana?
319
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:15,922
Hells, yes.
Oh, man.
320
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:18,373
I love lizards.
321
00:12:18,641 --> 00:12:19,735
What's his name?
322
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:21,228
Her name is Lizzy.
323
00:12:21,536 --> 00:12:24,959
Wow.
I totally get that.
324
00:12:25,131 --> 00:12:26,663
You don't deserve this.
325
00:12:26,998 --> 00:12:27,598
What?
326
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:29,691
Hot reptile chick,
327
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:31,372
you know,
probably has her own apartment,
328
00:12:31,824 --> 00:12:34,487
obviously okay
touching gross stuff.
329
00:12:34,555 --> 00:12:36,856
- They're just talking.
- You're right.
330
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:39,312
Dylan's far too sophisticated
to get sucked in by
331
00:12:39,380 --> 00:12:41,400
a single lady
with tons of cool tattoos.
332
00:12:41,435 --> 00:12:42,276
DYLAN: Hey.
[laughs]
333
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,800
- I think it peed on me.
- Oh, no.
334
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:46,649
No way,
mother nature.
335
00:12:47,072 --> 00:12:48,527
I can't believe
he does that.
336
00:12:48,562 --> 00:12:50,367
[indistinct shouting]
337
00:12:51,722 --> 00:12:53,169
Hey, what am I missing,
guys?
338
00:12:53,602 --> 00:12:55,099
Aw, geez, Gloria.
339
00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:57,330
Jay, look!
I go high!
340
00:12:57,398 --> 00:12:58,426
Look, look!
341
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,416
Hey, guys, hit the road.
342
00:13:00,451 --> 00:13:02,400
Come on, you're family men.
Come on, scat.
343
00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:04,820
Great job, buddy.
344
00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:07,753
Now comes the fun part.
Rappel down.
345
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:09,503
It's really high.
346
00:13:10,048 --> 00:13:12,897
You have nothing to fear
but fear itself...
347
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,848
and the concrete,
but I'm right here, buddy.
348
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,422
Okay, just catch me.
349
00:13:17,457 --> 00:13:19,325
I am brave.
350
00:13:19,403 --> 00:13:21,000
Roller coasters?
Love them.
351
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:23,464
Scary movies? I've seen
"Ghostbusters" like seven times.
352
00:13:23,531 --> 00:13:25,372
I regularly drive
through neighborhoods
353
00:13:25,407 --> 00:13:27,018
that have only recently
been gentrified.
354
00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:29,409
So, yeah, I'm pretty much
not afraid of anything...
355
00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:31,653
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, everybody!
356
00:13:31,721 --> 00:13:32,774
Quit your clowning around.
357
00:13:32,809 --> 00:13:34,341
That's my job!
[laughs]
358
00:13:35,613 --> 00:13:37,169
Except clowns.
359
00:13:38,612 --> 00:13:41,075
Never shared that with the fam,
so [exhales sharply]
360
00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:42,713
I do have an image
to maintain.
361
00:13:42,907 --> 00:13:45,198
I am not really sure
where the fear comes from.
362
00:13:45,278 --> 00:13:47,202
My mother says it's because,
when I was a kid,
363
00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,984
I found a dead clown
in the woods, but who knows?
364
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,161
Hey! Oh!
365
00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:53,725
Well, you must be
the birthday boy.
366
00:13:53,793 --> 00:13:55,991
Wow.
Is that you, Uncle Cam?
367
00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,486
[laughs] Well, no,
I'm Fizbo the Clown.
368
00:13:58,553 --> 00:13:59,971
I don't know
who this "Uncle Cam" is.
369
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:02,244
But he sure sounds handsome,
doesn't he? [laughs]
370
00:14:02,582 --> 00:14:04,680
- Hey, who likes balloon animals?
- I do! I do!
371
00:14:05,342 --> 00:14:06,206
It's just Cam.
372
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:07,941
It's just Cam.
373
00:14:08,009 --> 00:14:09,073
You all right?
374
00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,538
What? Yeah.
375
00:14:10,606 --> 00:14:12,003
No, I just have
kind of a...
376
00:14:12,253 --> 00:14:14,887
complicated relationship
with clowns.
377
00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:16,707
Oh, well,
join the club.
378
00:14:21,289 --> 00:14:25,081
Look, I came on strong
with that whole funny-guy bit.
379
00:14:25,149 --> 00:14:27,372
This is me
just being myself.
380
00:14:28,346 --> 00:14:31,093
Okay. Hey, do you know
who that boy is over there?
381
00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:32,939
Oh. That's Dylan.
382
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:34,556
He's Haley's boyfriend.
383
00:14:35,371 --> 00:14:37,427
He's so cute and tall.
384
00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:40,461
[sighs] I'm still growing.
Give me a break.
385
00:14:42,262 --> 00:14:45,534
Pardon me, miss, but this
little doggy needs a new home.
386
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:47,166
- Oh, thank you.
- [giggles]
387
00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:51,383
That's quite an impressive getup
you got there.
388
00:14:51,451 --> 00:14:52,391
Well, thank you, Jay.
389
00:14:52,782 --> 00:14:54,600
Oh, by the way, you have
something on your shoulder.
390
00:14:56,078 --> 00:14:58,504
[laughs]
That's good.
391
00:14:58,539 --> 00:15:00,757
Never mind.
It was nothing.
392
00:15:01,157 --> 00:15:01,965
Yeah, we're done here.
393
00:15:11,658 --> 00:15:14,658
So, do you keep these at,
like, a zoo or something?
394
00:15:14,693 --> 00:15:15,853
TANYA: No, I just keep them
at my place.
395
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:16,984
That's awesome.
396
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:18,611
I only have a cat.
397
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:19,331
Yeah?
398
00:15:19,882 --> 00:15:21,160
I used to have a cat.
399
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,610
I was just messing
with you before,
400
00:15:23,678 --> 00:15:26,356
but, seriously,
he's still talking to her?
401
00:15:28,404 --> 00:15:29,109
On it.
402
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,180
You know,
this is one of--
403
00:15:31,204 --> 00:15:32,456
I feel like Britney Spears.
404
00:15:32,491 --> 00:15:33,786
[laughs]
You're so funny.
405
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,199
You kinda do look like
Britney Spears.
406
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:37,893
- Oh really?
- I was kidding.
407
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,833
Um, anyway,
this is probably my favourite.
408
00:15:40,868 --> 00:15:42,447
Hey, Jungle Lady,
409
00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:44,968
I think-- I think
one of your bugs got out.
410
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,818
What? This one?
411
00:15:46,853 --> 00:15:49,080
This box thing here--
It's on its side, empty.
412
00:15:49,147 --> 00:15:51,377
- Oh, my God, where did it go?
- Is everything okay?
413
00:15:51,378 --> 00:15:54,252
No, I lost a poisonous scorpion,
and I need to find it.
414
00:15:54,474 --> 00:15:57,837
Okay, kids, um, let's all tuck
our pants into our socks,
415
00:15:57,905 --> 00:15:59,634
avoid shady, moist places,
416
00:15:59,701 --> 00:16:02,160
and let's make a game
of looking where we step.
417
00:16:05,728 --> 00:16:07,938
[woman speaking
on P.A.]
418
00:16:07,939 --> 00:16:09,552
- Is he okay?
- Can we see him?
419
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,282
He's in with the doctor
right now.
420
00:16:12,874 --> 00:16:14,147
These things happen,
right,
421
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:15,811
no matter how careful
you are?
422
00:16:15,877 --> 00:16:18,907
Hey, look what Grandpa
gave me-- a crossbow.
423
00:16:18,974 --> 00:16:20,139
Sweetie,
that does not look safe.
424
00:16:20,206 --> 00:16:22,003
Don't worry. He's gonna
show me how to use it.
425
00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,282
Yeah, that's
what I'm afraid of.
426
00:16:24,368 --> 00:16:25,804
Come on, you ready?
427
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:30,691
Oh, my God, you are not
making comb sheaths.
428
00:16:30,726 --> 00:16:31,711
I am, and I know.
429
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:33,321
It's really lame.
Everybody hates it.
430
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:35,647
No, it's just like, uh,
Donna Rigby's party.
431
00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:38,416
Exactly, yes, and it has
the beads and everything.
432
00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:40,545
Oh, amazing.
This is awesome.
433
00:16:41,247 --> 00:16:43,900
Wow.
So, Cam's a clown.
434
00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:45,535
PHIL: I got you!
- Yeah.
435
00:16:46,141 --> 00:16:48,367
- I totally got you!
- And there's mine.
436
00:16:49,169 --> 00:16:50,733
Do think it's weird
that we both chose people
437
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,311
- who are so--
- Uninhibited?
438
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:54,633
I was gonna say embarrassing,
but, yeah.
439
00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:56,801
Look at them, though.
They're the life of the party.
440
00:16:57,859 --> 00:16:59,808
PHIL: Oh yeah.
- You know, I got to say,
441
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:03,111
for all his craziness,
I love my clown.
442
00:17:03,285 --> 00:17:05,599
Me too.
They're good for us.
443
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,445
I would've totally tanked
this party.
444
00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:10,894
Oh, and I would've gotten
my butt kicked at a gas station.
445
00:17:11,217 --> 00:17:12,199
Sorry?
446
00:17:12,308 --> 00:17:14,571
It turns out Fizbo
is a real badass.
447
00:17:14,637 --> 00:17:16,374
Aah! Aah! Scorpion!
448
00:17:16,409 --> 00:17:17,799
Scorpion! Scorpion!
449
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:20,478
- Scorpion!
- [people screaming]
450
00:17:20,696 --> 00:17:22,061
Scorpion!
451
00:17:22,129 --> 00:17:24,992
No, no. Too close.
Too close.
452
00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:26,105
Too close.
453
00:17:26,140 --> 00:17:27,787
What the hell? Oh!
454
00:17:27,855 --> 00:17:29,631
Oh, crap!
455
00:17:29,685 --> 00:17:32,481
[people screaming]
456
00:17:32,549 --> 00:17:34,079
Oh, my God!
457
00:17:40,007 --> 00:17:41,690
Bianca, I'm coming.
458
00:17:43,968 --> 00:17:45,663
Who else is in there?
Get out!
459
00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:48,574
Aaaahh!
460
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:52,690
It turns out I'm not
the sweet guy or the funny guy.
461
00:17:52,757 --> 00:17:55,325
No, manny,
don't go in, por favor!
462
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,420
I must!
463
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,672
I'm coming!
464
00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:05,402
Manny Delgado
is a man of action.
465
00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:10,904
Wait.
466
00:18:10,939 --> 00:18:12,197
My dog--
It's still in there.
467
00:18:13,408 --> 00:18:14,886
I'll be right back.
468
00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:16,060
[grunts]
469
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:27,116
LUKE: Ow! My arm!
470
00:18:27,151 --> 00:18:29,555
Sweetie? Luke?
471
00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:30,509
What--
what happened, buddy?
472
00:18:30,578 --> 00:18:31,807
What happened?
What happened, honey?
473
00:18:31,874 --> 00:18:33,525
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
what happened?
474
00:18:33,539 --> 00:18:35,772
I slipped
on these stupid beads.
475
00:18:36,254 --> 00:18:37,188
Oops.
476
00:18:37,202 --> 00:18:38,917
- Come on, here we go.
- Ow!
477
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,579
[police siren blaring]
478
00:18:40,614 --> 00:18:41,542
How is he?
479
00:18:41,983 --> 00:18:42,827
Oh, he's gonna be fine.
480
00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:45,808
JAY: Hi, honey. Hey, Manny.
How are you, kid?
481
00:18:45,843 --> 00:18:47,618
- Oh, there he is.
- Uh-oh, there he is.
482
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,345
Poor thing!
483
00:18:51,252 --> 00:18:53,399
Wow, everybody's here.
484
00:18:53,434 --> 00:18:55,565
Of course we are.
How's that busted flipper?
485
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,573
- Okay.
- Sorry about today, buddy.
486
00:18:57,608 --> 00:18:59,756
- We'll try again next year, huh?
- Are you kidding?
487
00:18:59,791 --> 00:19:01,538
This was
the best birthday ever.
488
00:19:01,885 --> 00:19:02,435
What?
489
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,306
I got a cast.
490
00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:05,576
You like
the cast?
491
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:06,731
I've always wanted one.
492
00:19:06,799 --> 00:19:09,317
After a few weeks,
they start to smell.
493
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,012
You are so weird.
You know that?
494
00:19:12,047 --> 00:19:13,585
- Can I sign it?
- Sure.
495
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:14,631
Hey, me first.
496
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:15,613
Okay.
497
00:19:15,648 --> 00:19:17,274
PHIL: If you'd asked me
before the party
498
00:19:17,309 --> 00:19:20,092
if I wanted there to be
a chain reaction of disasters
499
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:21,179
that led to Luke
breaking his arm,
500
00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,038
I probably
would've said no.
501
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:24,943
Probably?
502
00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:28,034
Prob-- definit-- Definitely not,
would not want that.
503
00:19:28,806 --> 00:19:31,552
But one way or another,
504
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,704
Luke was the center
of attention on his birthday,
505
00:19:33,832 --> 00:19:35,342
and the whole family
was together,
506
00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:38,619
just the way
it should be.
507
00:19:39,292 --> 00:19:41,821
Fizbo delivery!
I brought the cake!
508
00:19:41,888 --> 00:19:44,856
[cheers and applause]
509
00:19:46,722 --> 00:19:47,611
I can't do this.
510
00:19:48,403 --> 00:19:49,277
Okay, I'm out.
511
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:52,546
[wheezing]
512
00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:56,028
Cake!
513
00:19:57,918 --> 00:20:00,620
Blow-- blow the candle,
Luke. Blow the candle.
514
00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:02,224
[cheers and applause]
515
00:20:04,576 --> 00:20:07,087
Bianca Douglas called me
three times tonight.
516
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,991
I'm not gonna lie to you.
517
00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:10,425
I'm starting
to feel smothered.
518
00:20:11,155 --> 00:20:14,591
I really like my cast,
but it's starting to itch.
519
00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:17,663
Good thing my mom made me
this personal scratcher.
520
00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:21,325
Oh, that's good stuff.
521
00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:23,974
If another woman
is messing with your man,
522
00:20:24,339 --> 00:20:25,907
you have to get proactive.
523
00:20:26,070 --> 00:20:27,783
I don't care
how pretty she is
524
00:20:27,818 --> 00:20:30,251
or how many stupid reptiles
she has,
525
00:20:30,466 --> 00:20:32,511
she tries to take
what's mine,
526
00:20:33,095 --> 00:20:34,809
girlfriend's gonna
get stung.
527
00:20:37,248 --> 00:20:39,955
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com