1
00:00:01,970 --> 00:00:03,971
It's just until grandma
can see them.
2
00:00:04,039 --> 00:00:05,239
My neck hole
is too small.
3
00:00:05,307 --> 00:00:06,574
Mine's itchy.
4
00:00:06,642 --> 00:00:09,010
I'd rather be itchy
than choky.
5
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,211
Come on, phil.
Hurry up.
6
00:00:10,279 --> 00:00:11,712
Okay, here we go.
7
00:00:11,780 --> 00:00:13,948
Connecting.
8
00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:16,684
[ muffled ]
come in, florida! Over!
9
00:00:16,752 --> 00:00:18,419
Mom? Dad?
10
00:00:18,487 --> 00:00:20,054
Hello, phillip.
11
00:00:20,122 --> 00:00:21,188
[ chuckles ]
12
00:00:21,256 --> 00:00:24,425
All:
Merry christmas eve!
13
00:00:24,493 --> 00:00:26,427
Merry christmas eve!
14
00:00:26,495 --> 00:00:28,229
A little --
little lower, dad.
15
00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:30,064
[ deeper voice ]
merry christmas eve.
16
00:00:30,132 --> 00:00:31,265
[ chuckles ]
17
00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,768
Thank you --
thanks for the sweaters!
18
00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:34,969
[ normal voice ]
oh, you're welcome.
19
00:00:35,037 --> 00:00:36,504
You look beautiful in them.
20
00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:37,672
Where's mom?
21
00:00:37,739 --> 00:00:40,174
Mom is sinking fast.
Uh-oh.
22
00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:41,375
She's in the bathtub.
23
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:42,743
[ laughter ]
24
00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:45,112
They have that claw foot.
I know, yeah.
25
00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,615
Hey, pops,
here's the tree.
26
00:00:47,683 --> 00:00:50,284
And, uh, there --
there's the, uh --
27
00:00:50,352 --> 00:00:52,486
There's the ornament
you sent us.
28
00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:54,255
Right here.
Right here.
29
00:00:54,323 --> 00:00:56,557
There are the stockings,
30
00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:59,694
Hung by the chimney
by claire.
31
00:00:59,761 --> 00:01:01,529
Oh, still funny, son.
32
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:02,530
[ laughter ]
33
00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:04,131
What the hell is that?
34
00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:06,300
What is that? That looks like
a cigarette burn.
35
00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:08,135
Was one of you smoking
a cigarette?
36
00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:09,070
No. No.
No. No.
37
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,838
Which one of you
was smoking?
38
00:01:10,906 --> 00:01:12,440
Not me.
I have a respiratory problem.
39
00:01:12,507 --> 00:01:14,175
Obviously,
it wasn't you.
40
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,644
Now I've got a family of liars
and smokers.
Honey, come here.
41
00:01:16,712 --> 00:01:18,112
You got to see this.
42
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:20,481
Did you shoplift
your christmas presents, too?
43
00:01:20,549 --> 00:01:21,949
Haley,
keep that ugly sweater on.
44
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:23,384
Anyway...
45
00:01:23,452 --> 00:01:24,819
Merry christmas!
46
00:01:28,962 --> 00:01:36,764
-- Sync by honeybunny --
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:37,632 --> 00:01:39,834
[ television plays ]
48
00:01:47,342 --> 00:01:48,642
Are you crying?
49
00:01:48,710 --> 00:01:50,444
What are you, a robot?
50
00:01:50,512 --> 00:01:52,913
It's a deeply
emotional movie.
51
00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:55,115
Manny, mi amor, I need you
to help me in the kitchen.
52
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,717
We got to finish this first,
gloria.
53
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,785
The kid's never seen
"miracle on 34th street."
54
00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,621
That's because he always spends
christmas in colombia
55
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,089
With my family.
56
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:05,325
And all we see there is "salazar
and el oso save christmas."
57
00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,160
Sounds like a classic.
It is.
58
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,129
Mom,
can we finish the movie?
59
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,764
Okay.
60
00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:12,099
[ television plays ]
61
00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:18,739
Aah!
What the hell is that?
62
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,173
What the hell is that?
63
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,241
[ laughs ]
inocente!
64
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,676
What the hell?
65
00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:25,846
When you told me we were going
to watch this movie,
66
00:02:25,914 --> 00:02:27,648
I got a joke copy
from the internet.
67
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,550
You are the inocente!
68
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,785
Well, maybe I'm
a little confused right now.
69
00:02:31,853 --> 00:02:33,220
What is
this inocente stuff?
70
00:02:33,288 --> 00:02:36,790
In colombia, practical jokes
are a christmas tradition.
71
00:02:36,858 --> 00:02:38,892
The one that is fooled
is the inocente!
72
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,361
We tell practical jokes
on April fool's day.
73
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,463
Do not do that again.
74
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,765
[ laughs ]
75
00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,099
Inocente.
76
00:02:47,802 --> 00:02:49,169
Does it do it again?
77
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,104
Ah, it's ruined.
78
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,639
Are you kidding me
with this line?
79
00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:54,808
I'm gonna ask santa for the last
45 minutes of my life back.
80
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:56,176
Oh, would you cheer up?
81
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,445
We're in santa's village
with our daughter.
82
00:02:58,513 --> 00:02:59,846
Where were we
a year ago?
83
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,448
Uh, we were at the beginning
of this line.
84
00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:02,716
Okay, you know what?
85
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:03,951
Somebody needs to get
in the holiday --
86
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,352
Son of a bitch.
87
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,654
[ carolers' song plays ]
88
00:03:07,722 --> 00:03:09,089
Maybe it's not them.
89
00:03:09,157 --> 00:03:11,625
Oh, it's them.
90
00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:13,994
It's them.
91
00:03:14,062 --> 00:03:16,129
Three years ago,
I formed a caroling group.
92
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:18,098
We were known as
"the greensleevers."
93
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,100
We would perform
at charity events, hospitals.
94
00:03:20,168 --> 00:03:21,902
And they were very,
very popular.
95
00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,237
Uh, last year...
96
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:27,874
One of my carolers --
andrew...
97
00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,776
Staged a little coup...
98
00:03:29,844 --> 00:03:32,512
And, he, um...
99
00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,720
They kicked cameron
out of the group.
100
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,888
[ carolers' song plays ]
101
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,937
[ applause ]
thank you.
102
00:03:57,005 --> 00:03:59,439
We're
the new greensleevers.
103
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,610
The new greensleevers.
104
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,278
Is there a slap mark
on my face?
105
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,514
I mean, why is edna
singing the low harmony?
106
00:04:07,582 --> 00:04:09,716
It's like people
are applauding out of shock.
107
00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:11,018
Let it go.
108
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,052
Okay, next.
109
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,120
Oh, finally.
110
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,455
Whoa.
Chuckles ]
111
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,158
Um, I'm sorry.
Can I -- could -- could you...
112
00:04:18,226 --> 00:04:20,060
What happened
to the other santa?
113
00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:22,295
Listen, we've been
waiting in this line
for a really long time,
114
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:24,965
And we just want a santa
that actually looks like santa.
115
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:27,067
Mitchell, it's okay.
No, no, no, cam.
It's not okay.
116
00:04:27,135 --> 00:04:28,435
This is lily's
first christmas.
117
00:04:28,503 --> 00:04:30,537
I want to make sure
everything is perfect.
118
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,372
And we're gonna wait
for the fat santa.
119
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,307
I knew this would happen.
120
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,376
I-I don't even know why
we hired this guy.
121
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,978
See?
Even his elves agree with me.
122
00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:39,212
Thank you.
123
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,481
I didn't know christmas
made you so petty.
124
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,251
[ carolers' song plays ]
125
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:45,152
[ coughs ]
lackluster!
126
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,190
[ coughs ] I hate you!
127
00:04:50,258 --> 00:04:51,491
This is unacceptable.
128
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:53,226
And I want to know
whdid this.
129
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,361
Hmm?
130
00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:56,029
Nobody, huh?
131
00:04:56,097 --> 00:04:58,265
I guess the couch did it
to itself.
132
00:04:58,332 --> 00:05:00,534
I guess it came home after
a tough day, lit up a cigarette,
133
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,902
And then it burned itself.
134
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,904
Is that what happened?
Because that makes no sense.
135
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,306
If whoever is responsible
doesn't come forward,
136
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:08,709
Your father and I are just gonna
have to punish all three of you.
137
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:09,676
What?
Yeah.
138
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,744
That's not fair.
139
00:05:10,812 --> 00:05:12,045
I can forgive the smoking,
140
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:13,080
But I can't forgive
the lie...
141
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:16,416
Phil.
Or the smoking.
142
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:18,185
No one wants to confess,
huh?
143
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,920
No?
That's fine.
144
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,922
'cause you know
what happens next?
145
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,657
We cancel christmas.
146
00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:25,158
[ haley chuckles ]
147
00:05:25,226 --> 00:05:26,660
Luke:
That's not fair.
148
00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:28,295
Okay, dad, sure.
149
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,498
Phil has a habit of making
big pronouncements to the kids.
150
00:05:31,566 --> 00:05:32,833
[ chuckles ]
151
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,267
One time I told luke
152
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,837
That if he didn't put his
dirty dishes in the dishwasher,
153
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,638
We would put them
in his bed.
154
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:42,542
Phil's problem
is follow-through.
155
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:46,279
We had no more dishes,
156
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,483
So we were eating cere
out of the goldfish bowl.
157
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,818
Okay,
guess where I'm headed.
158
00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:54,020
To take down the tree.
That's right.
159
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,322
Come on, guys.
160
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,290
Whoever did is,
just take responsibility.
161
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,192
Don't put the rest of us
through this.
162
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,794
Luke? No?
163
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,963
This is really it,
okay?
164
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,464
Here we go.
165
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,902
3...2...1...
166
00:06:10,338 --> 00:06:12,706
Okay.
Goodbye, dunphy christmas.
167
00:06:12,774 --> 00:06:14,574
Haley, I guess
you're not getting that car.
168
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,942
I was getting a car?!
169
00:06:16,010 --> 00:06:17,811
No, I was lying,
because that's what we do now.
170
00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:20,247
Dunphys are liars.
171
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,964
I mean, what's with them
tossing out candy canes
after every carol?
172
00:06:31,032 --> 00:06:32,466
It's pandering.
173
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,101
I think you made that clear
when you tossed them back.
174
00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:35,936
Okay, how am I supposed to get
all this in the car?
175
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,137
Let me give you a hand
with that.
176
00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,239
Uh, thanks.
Thanks -- thanks, santa.
177
00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:40,941
Can't call me that anymore.
178
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,010
Just got canned.
179
00:06:43,077 --> 00:06:44,678
Oh. Really?
180
00:06:44,746 --> 00:06:46,780
Guess a couple of people
complained I wasn't fat enough.
181
00:06:46,848 --> 00:06:48,315
Well, that's terrible.
182
00:06:48,383 --> 00:06:50,617
That'shat I get for trying not
to have a second heart attack.
183
00:06:50,685 --> 00:06:52,219
There you go.
184
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,654
Always a way to make room.
185
00:06:53,721 --> 00:06:55,856
Take it from someone
who lives in his car.
186
00:06:55,924 --> 00:06:58,325
Um...Oh, well,
thank you so much.
187
00:06:58,393 --> 00:07:00,193
No problem.
Merry christmas.
188
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:01,528
Um, wait, wait.
189
00:07:01,596 --> 00:07:03,697
Um, please, let me give you
a little something.
190
00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:05,866
For -- for your troubles.
No, that's okay.
No, really, that's okay.
191
00:07:05,934 --> 00:07:07,134
Do you really live
in your car?
192
00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:09,236
Yeah, it's not so bad.
193
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,605
It's pretty roomy
since the wife moved out.
194
00:07:11,673 --> 00:07:13,073
Well...
195
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,741
Why don't you come over
to our place for dinner tonight?
196
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,009
Seriously?
197
00:07:16,077 --> 00:07:17,511
Yeah, it's christmas eve.
198
00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:19,780
You -- you can't spend it
in your car.
199
00:07:19,847 --> 00:07:21,782
Wow, that's really nice
of you guys.
200
00:07:21,849 --> 00:07:23,183
Listen,
can I bring anything?
201
00:07:23,251 --> 00:07:25,085
Ketchup,
soy sauce, straws?
202
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,653
We're good.
203
00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:29,556
So, uh, why don't you follow us
to our house?
204
00:07:29,624 --> 00:07:30,958
Okay.
In your house.
205
00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:33,160
[ chuckles ]
206
00:07:33,227 --> 00:07:34,661
All right.
207
00:07:34,729 --> 00:07:35,829
Cameron.
What?
208
00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:43,804
Okay, tonight 9:00 sharp,
we open one present each --
209
00:07:43,871 --> 00:07:45,472
Pajamas,
which we sleep in.
210
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,808
Tomorrow morning, 7:00 a.M.,
211
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,877
Manny on the stairs
for the christmas picture.
212
00:07:50,945 --> 00:07:53,480
Then we open presents.
213
00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:55,649
In colombia,
they open presents at midnight
214
00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:56,750
And stay up till morning.
215
00:07:56,818 --> 00:07:58,251
I'm sure that they do,
216
00:07:58,319 --> 00:08:00,220
But as you'll notice from the
absence of goats in the street,
217
00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:01,822
We are not in colombia.
218
00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:04,691
[ chuckling ]
come on, I'm kidding.
219
00:08:04,759 --> 00:08:07,728
Why can't we mix a couple
of colombian traditions in?
220
00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:10,197
Like what?
Like fireworks.
221
00:08:10,264 --> 00:08:11,932
Come on, you don't have
fireworks in colombia.
222
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,967
You're trying to make me
the inocente again.
223
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,302
No, we do.
224
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,471
At night, the sky is beautiful,
very christmasy.
225
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,839
That doesn't make
any sense.
226
00:08:18,906 --> 00:08:21,241
Look, every country
has their own traditions.
227
00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:22,876
In our culture,
for example,
228
00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,878
The baby jesus is the one
that brings the gifts,
229
00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:26,680
Not the santa claus.
230
00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,181
But that doesn't
make sense.
231
00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,650
How could a newborn baby
carry all those prents?
232
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,953
They don't even know
where their hands are.
233
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:34,788
At least a baby
can fit through a chimney.
234
00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:37,290
How would you sit
on the baby jesus' lap?
235
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:38,392
You'd squish it.
236
00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:40,527
Manny, next year,
we'll talk about
237
00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:42,295
Some of your little
colombian traditions, okay?
238
00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:43,330
Maybe.
239
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,798
I know what "maybe" means.
240
00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:47,868
It's like you're trying
to take away my whole christmas.
241
00:08:49,303 --> 00:08:50,871
I can't believe
it's all gone.
242
00:08:50,938 --> 00:08:52,372
Dad never follows through.
243
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,108
Are you sure one of your friends
didn't burn the couch?
244
00:08:55,176 --> 00:08:56,576
Hey, don't look at me.
245
00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:58,311
Only one of us was ever caught
playing with matches.
246
00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,480
Luke.
247
00:09:00,548 --> 00:09:01,915
That was a year ago.
248
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,517
Just admit you did it.
249
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:04,584
You admit you did it!
250
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:07,187
Okay.
Look, I have an idea.
251
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,289
Do you remember the movie
"spartacus"?
252
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,460
Here's what we do --
253
00:09:13,528 --> 00:09:16,029
Luke, you tell mom and dad
it's your fault.
254
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,197
I didn't do it.
255
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,833
It doesn't matter,
because after you coess,
256
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:23,637
Haley and I will each confess
to the same thing.
257
00:09:23,704 --> 00:09:25,272
How does that do anything?
258
00:09:25,339 --> 00:09:27,941
They'll be so touched
that we're protecting each other
259
00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:30,077
That they'll have
to bring back christmas.
260
00:09:30,144 --> 00:09:32,813
That's awesome.
261
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,815
How does it work again?
262
00:09:34,882 --> 00:09:36,349
We're gonna pass
into legend --
263
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:37,851
The parents
who canceled christmas.
264
00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,186
I thought you'd be happy.
265
00:09:39,253 --> 00:09:40,520
They'll write songs
about us,
266
00:09:40,588 --> 00:09:42,089
Make one of those
christmaspecials
267
00:09:42,156 --> 00:09:43,690
With those ugly little
clay people.
268
00:09:43,758 --> 00:09:45,025
You're the one
who always says
269
00:09:45,093 --> 00:09:47,260
I shouldn't be sa pushover
with the kids.
270
00:09:47,328 --> 00:09:49,096
So this is where you decide
to make your stand?
271
00:09:49,163 --> 00:09:51,264
Really, phil?
Okay, okay, look,
don't worry.
272
00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:52,532
We're going
to have christmas.
273
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,800
We raised our kids right.
274
00:09:53,868 --> 00:09:55,535
Whoever did it
will come forward...
275
00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:57,170
Or the other two
will rat them out.
276
00:09:57,238 --> 00:09:59,673
Mom? Dad?
277
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,007
Hey, luke.
278
00:10:01,075 --> 00:10:04,010
What --
what can we do for you?
279
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:10,450
I did it.
I was playing with matches.
280
00:10:10,518 --> 00:10:11,551
I'm sorry.
281
00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:13,487
You, uh --
282
00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:16,123
You did the right thing
by confessing,
283
00:10:16,190 --> 00:10:19,493
But, um...
This is bad, buddy.
284
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,528
I mean, really bad, okay?
285
00:10:21,596 --> 00:10:24,097
Claire,
you want to handle this?
286
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,434
Um, luke,
why didn't you say something?
287
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,369
Mm...I don't know.
288
00:10:29,437 --> 00:10:31,304
Okay, well,
your father and I
289
00:10:31,372 --> 00:10:33,406
Are extremely disappointed
in you.
290
00:10:33,474 --> 00:10:35,242
So go up to your room.
291
00:10:35,309 --> 00:10:36,243
Go on.
292
00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:37,477
Alex!
293
00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:38,712
We'll be up to talk to you
in a minute.
294
00:10:38,779 --> 00:10:40,013
Haley!
What?
295
00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:41,915
Say something!
About what?
296
00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:43,917
I take it back!
What is going on?
297
00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,719
These guys were gonna say
they did it, too,
298
00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:47,187
And you were gonna
be proud of all of us.
299
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:48,421
Why would we do that?
300
00:10:48,489 --> 00:10:49,923
I don't know what to believe
with this kid.
301
00:10:49,991 --> 00:10:51,525
Liars!
I didn't do it!
302
00:10:51,592 --> 00:10:53,593
Well, it wasn't me.
Don't look at me.
303
00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:54,561
Seriously?
304
00:10:54,629 --> 00:10:56,163
Wait.
305
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,898
Nobody did it again?
306
00:10:57,965 --> 00:10:59,966
No, that's fine.
307
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,736
Guess what --
christmas is still canceled.
308
00:11:02,803 --> 00:11:04,871
That's fine by me.
309
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:07,207
I'll start working on
next year.
310
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:11,578
Hey, and memo
to new year's eve and easter --
311
00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:14,214
Watch your back!
312
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:17,851
So, after I left the marines, I
just kind of traveled the world.
313
00:11:17,919 --> 00:11:20,554
Now I go from town to town
picking up odd jobs.
314
00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:22,522
Oh,
kind of like the hulk.
315
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:23,890
[ chuckles ]
that's weird.
316
00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:25,959
That was my -- that was
my nickname in the corps.
317
00:11:26,027 --> 00:11:28,862
'cause of my bad temper.
318
00:11:28,930 --> 00:11:32,032
Anyway,
thanks for having me over
319
00:11:32,099 --> 00:11:35,235
And having me for dinner,
letting me do my laundry.
320
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:38,605
This has not been
a good day.
321
00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:42,709
Um, scott, I-I have a confession
to make.
322
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,544
Yeah?
Um...
323
00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:47,480
I didn't cl--
I didn't clean the lint tray,
324
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:49,950
So, um, your clothes might be
a little pilly.
325
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:52,085
Oh, no problem.
That's the least of my worries.
326
00:11:52,153 --> 00:11:55,055
Thanks for everything.
You guys made my day.
327
00:11:55,122 --> 00:11:56,256
It's the least
we could do.
328
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,024
What do you mean?
329
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,693
I don't know...
330
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,027
What I was saying.
331
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,629
[ chuckles ]
332
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,034
I-I just say
we never tell him.
333
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:11,238
Exactly. We give him some money,
a hot al, laundry.
334
00:12:11,305 --> 00:12:12,706
I think we're square.
335
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,840
Agreed.
336
00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:15,742
Okay,
how does this thing work?
337
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,978
Yeah, I think you just
press that button right
there in the middle.
338
00:12:18,045 --> 00:12:19,512
Yeah.
Oh, my...
339
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,348
Okay, that -- well, that seems
a little high, doesn't it?
340
00:12:21,415 --> 00:12:23,083
Yes.
I'm not putting lily in that.
341
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:25,051
It's like something astronauts
train in.
342
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,786
[ banging on door ]
y:
Ho, ho, ho! It's me!
343
00:12:26,854 --> 00:12:28,088
Ho, ho, ho!
It's me!
344
00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:29,990
It's your dad.
Yeah.
345
00:12:30,057 --> 00:12:31,925
Hey, dad.
Hi.
346
00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,827
Hey!
I brought your presents.
347
00:12:33,894 --> 00:12:35,996
Aren't we seeing you
tomorrow, jay?
348
00:12:36,063 --> 00:12:37,464
Well, these are
your christmas eve gifts.
349
00:12:37,531 --> 00:12:38,565
You know the drill.
Oh, yeah.
350
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,633
You open those up
before bedtime.
351
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:40,834
They're pajamas.
352
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,469
Still keeping
traditions alive.
353
00:12:42,536 --> 00:12:43,603
Well, someone has to.
354
00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:44,871
I got two colombians at home
355
00:12:44,939 --> 00:12:47,007
Trying to turn christmas
into cinco de mayo.
356
00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:49,175
You know that's mexican,
right?
357
00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:50,744
Ah, burrito, bur-right-o.
358
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,479
Christmas
should be christmas.
359
00:12:52,546 --> 00:12:55,782
Picture on the stairs, hot
chocolate, opening the presents.
360
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:57,384
That was supposed to be
the good thing
361
00:12:57,451 --> 00:12:58,985
About having a kid
in the house again.
362
00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:00,887
I can have christmas
the way we used to.
363
00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:02,956
I hear you, jay.
If I was home right now,
364
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,858
I'd be mixing up
a bathtub full of eggnog
365
00:13:04,925 --> 00:13:06,926
And trying to squeeze
a greased hog into a santa hat.
366
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:08,061
You don't think
I miss that?
367
00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,297
Do you?
368
00:13:11,899 --> 00:13:16,002
The point is that those are
memories that I'll always have,
369
00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:18,371
But now I have
the perfect opportunity
370
00:13:18,439 --> 00:13:20,140
To create new memories
with my new family
371
00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:21,941
That are gonna be
just as special someday.
372
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,209
Aww.
373
00:13:23,277 --> 00:13:24,678
Cam's right.
374
00:13:24,745 --> 00:13:26,780
We create new traditions
every year.
375
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:29,749
So...Who's ready
to try the swing?
376
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:37,824
'cause jay wants to eat
at 3:00.
377
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,893
Ay, manny.
378
00:13:39,961 --> 00:13:41,828
Did you put this spider
in the fridge?
379
00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:43,730
Oh, yeah.
Inocente.
380
00:13:43,798 --> 00:13:45,966
Oh, papi, what's wrong?
381
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,435
I want to have christmas
like they do in colombia.
382
00:13:48,503 --> 00:13:49,970
Jay is messing
everything up.
383
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,738
Manny,
try to understand.
384
00:13:51,806 --> 00:13:55,375
Jay has great memories with
his kids when they were young.
385
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:57,777
And he just wants
to re-create them with you.
386
00:13:57,845 --> 00:14:00,847
So, maybe the best gift
I could give jay
387
00:14:00,915 --> 00:14:03,583
Would be christmas
like he used to have it?
388
00:14:03,651 --> 00:14:05,852
You're such
a beautiful boy.
389
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,888
One day, you're gonna grow up
and I'm gonna miss
390
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:10,123
All the things that you used
to do as a little boy.
391
00:14:10,191 --> 00:14:12,659
Okay, but if
this so-called santa claus
392
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,328
Doesn't bring me
a burgundy dinner jacket,
393
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,464
We're going to have
a big problem.
394
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,500
Honey?
395
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,103
Hmm?
396
00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:25,405
Would it really be so bad
to back down?
397
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:28,008
And have the kids never
take any of our threats
seriously again?
398
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,876
Yeah.
Mm.
399
00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:35,782
Or the kids could realize
400
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,884
That we're making
a supreme sacrifice
401
00:14:37,952 --> 00:14:41,121
By giving up our power
to save their christmas.
402
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:43,323
Which would, in a way,
be the greatest gift
403
00:14:43,391 --> 00:14:44,824
That we could ever
give them.
404
00:14:44,892 --> 00:14:47,694
And which would paradoxically
make them respect us even more.
405
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,696
Mm...
Okay, forget that.
Go back one.
406
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,164
Hey, guys.
407
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,467
It was me.
408
00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:55,902
What?
What?
409
00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,839
I found a cigarette
at school,
410
00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:04,578
And when no one was home,
I...I tried it,
411
00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:09,216
And...I-I guess I held it
too close to the couch.
412
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,351
I'm so sorry.
413
00:15:11,419 --> 00:15:13,320
You can take
my christmas away,
414
00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:15,622
But don't take it
from everyone else.
415
00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:18,758
That is very noble of you
to care about the family,
416
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,694
But you still smoked
and lied.
417
00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:22,262
That's really bad.
418
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,097
Now help me grab the tree.
419
00:15:24,165 --> 00:15:25,031
Phil.
420
00:15:25,099 --> 00:15:26,166
Claire: Phil.
421
00:15:26,234 --> 00:15:28,001
Alex, come on back.
422
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:32,806
Starting December 26th,
423
00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:34,674
You are grounded
for a full week,
424
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:36,543
And that includes
new year's eve.
425
00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:38,378
But I was g--
no, nonnegotiable, so...
426
00:15:38,446 --> 00:15:39,546
Phil: Mm.
Yeah.
427
00:15:39,614 --> 00:15:41,481
Fine.
428
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:44,150
Everybody!
429
00:15:44,218 --> 00:15:45,452
It's official!
430
00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:47,487
Christmas is back on!
431
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,688
It is?
What happened?
432
00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:49,889
Doesn't matter!
433
00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:51,658
Stockings, lights,
ornaments, wreath!
434
00:15:51,726 --> 00:15:52,726
Go, go, go!
435
00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:53,893
Okay!
436
00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:57,664
Um, that sounds like
a stressful job to me.
437
00:15:57,732 --> 00:15:59,199
Mm, not as much
as you'd think.
438
00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:01,234
They always made sure one of us
had a blank,
439
00:16:01,302 --> 00:16:02,902
So nobody knew
who took the fatal shot.
440
00:16:04,171 --> 00:16:05,372
This was mighty tasty.
441
00:16:05,439 --> 00:16:07,474
Well, I don't want
to overstay my welcome
442
00:16:07,541 --> 00:16:08,975
Or you won't have me back.
443
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:10,210
[ laughs ]
[ chuckles nervously ]
444
00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:11,711
You guys enjoy
the rest of your night.
445
00:16:11,779 --> 00:16:13,213
You're good people.
446
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,950
Scott, wait.
447
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,985
Wait.
448
00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:20,720
Don't forget your laundry.
449
00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:23,456
Oh, thanks. Thanks, thanks,
thanks. Merry christmas.
450
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,891
[ carolers' song plays ]
451
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:26,159
Scott, merry christmas to --
to you, too, and happy --
452
00:16:26,227 --> 00:16:27,627
Son of a bitch!
What?
453
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,062
Oh,
it's the new greensleevers.
454
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,797
They're cameron's
old caroling group.
455
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,198
They kicked him out
this year.
456
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:35,068
I mean, it is one thing
to kick me out of the group,
457
00:16:35,136 --> 00:16:37,003
But to -- to rub my nose
in it?
458
00:16:37,071 --> 00:16:38,238
I'm turning on
the sprinklers.
459
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:39,673
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
460
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:43,677
I know it feels good
to get even, belve me.
461
00:16:43,744 --> 00:16:47,147
To see the fear
in a man's eyes is...
462
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:51,751
But there's something
that feels even better...
463
00:16:53,954 --> 00:16:54,954
...Forgiveness.
464
00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:56,556
Scott,
you don't understand.
465
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,591
This -- this group
was my "dreamgirls."
466
00:16:58,659 --> 00:17:00,026
I was effie.
467
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:03,697
Do you know what the best thing
I did all day was?
468
00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,765
Forgiving you
for getting me fir.
469
00:17:07,435 --> 00:17:09,135
Um...
470
00:17:09,203 --> 00:17:11,304
[ carolers' song plays ]
471
00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:22,682
Andrew.
472
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,417
Ensemble.
473
00:17:24,485 --> 00:17:27,654
I know it's no accident
474
00:17:27,722 --> 00:17:30,423
That you're here
on my street tonight.
475
00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:33,059
And I...
476
00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:37,430
I just wanted to say to you all
that you sound great.
477
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:40,567
And...Merry christmas.
478
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,369
Wow.
479
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,404
Even your apology
is off-key.
480
00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:46,139
Not cool, buddy.
481
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:47,841
Ooh! Ooh!
482
00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,080
But -- but -- but what about --
what about forgiveness?
483
00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:56,249
You were nice.
He was naughty.
484
00:18:01,722 --> 00:18:03,523
Where were you
for so long?
485
00:18:03,591 --> 00:18:04,891
Just a little
last-minute shopping.
486
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:06,326
What's this?
487
00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:07,427
Buñuelos.
488
00:18:07,495 --> 00:18:09,396
Who? What?
Cheese fritters.
489
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,431
It's a colombian traditional
christmas food.
490
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:12,866
Okay, new rule.
491
00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:16,069
From now on, we do colombian
things when we're in colombia.
492
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,571
We do american things
when we're in america.
493
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,541
That means no more of your food,
no more of your music,
494
00:18:21,609 --> 00:18:24,244
And especially no more
of your crazy holidays!
495
00:18:27,348 --> 00:18:28,748
Inocente!
496
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,950
Jay!
What?
Did I say it wrong?
497
00:18:31,018 --> 00:18:32,685
You two
are total inocentes.
498
00:18:32,753 --> 00:18:34,354
You should see the look
on your faces.
499
00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:36,823
And by the way, you know
how hard it is to get fireworks
500
00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:38,324
On christmas eve?
501
00:18:38,392 --> 00:18:40,860
[ laughs ] go, manny.
502
00:18:40,928 --> 00:18:42,429
Thank you.
[ laughs ]
503
00:18:43,003 --> 00:18:47,370
And here's another one for luke.
looks like a book.
504
00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,472
I have a book already.
505
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:50,707
What is that?
506
00:18:50,775 --> 00:18:53,076
Oh, my god.
The couch is smoking.
507
00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:55,478
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa-ho-ho.
508
00:18:58,215 --> 00:18:59,516
It's sunlight.
509
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,418
It's the ornament.
510
00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:02,585
Luke: Cool.
511
00:19:02,653 --> 00:19:03,853
It's like
a magnifying glass.
512
00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:06,322
Hey, how weird is that?
513
00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:08,324
It's burning a hole
in the exact same spot
514
00:19:08,392 --> 00:19:10,060
That alex was smoking in.
515
00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:11,761
Oh, haley.
516
00:19:11,829 --> 00:19:14,197
Alex, why'd you take
the blame?
517
00:19:14,265 --> 00:19:17,067
I didn't want
to lose christmas.
518
00:19:17,134 --> 00:19:20,103
That is
so stinking beautul.
519
00:19:21,138 --> 00:19:22,405
Get in here.
520
00:19:22,406 --> 00:19:23,373
No.
Yes.
521
00:19:23,441 --> 00:19:24,674
Oh, no.
Yes.In here.
522
00:19:24,742 --> 00:19:25,909
Oh, yeah!
523
00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:26,910
Bear hug!
524
00:19:26,977 --> 00:19:29,179
[ laughter ]
525
00:19:29,246 --> 00:19:31,214
You were going
to take christmas away
526
00:19:31,282 --> 00:19:32,816
For something
that none of us did.
527
00:19:32,883 --> 00:19:34,284
Well, um...
528
00:19:34,351 --> 00:19:37,220
Christmas is about
moving forward.
529
00:19:37,288 --> 00:19:38,588
I've never heard that.
530
00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:40,090
Actually, honey, you did kind of
shoot your mouth off.
531
00:19:40,157 --> 00:19:41,691
You called us
all liars.
532
00:19:41,759 --> 00:19:43,793
Yeah, and then you took away
the biggest holiday...
533
00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:45,161
Yeah, you did.
I don't know.
534
00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:47,263
Let's -- let's not all get
worked up.
535
00:19:47,331 --> 00:19:49,532
I made a mistake.
536
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:50,867
I made a mistake.
537
00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:54,104
And people make mistakes.
538
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:58,374
And they make up
for those mistakes...
539
00:19:58,442 --> 00:19:59,742
Mm-hmm.
540
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:04,581
...By taking their family
to Italy!
541
00:20:04,648 --> 00:20:05,949
Haley: Oh, my god!
542
00:20:06,016 --> 00:20:06,950
Yeah!
543
00:20:07,017 --> 00:20:09,652
Yeah!
544
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,387
Yeah!
Aah!
545
00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:19,596
Jay: We talk a lot about
tradition this time of year.
546
00:20:19,663 --> 00:20:22,232
But as much as we love
our traditions,
547
00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:23,666
Sometimes our best memories
548
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:27,537
Come from the times
that are the most untraditional.
549
00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:35,078
We remember the year mom and dad
went crazy.
550
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:39,415
We remember the year santa
punched out the caroler.
551
00:20:41,485 --> 00:20:46,256
But for me, this was the year
that the word "tradition"
552
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:48,024
Got a lot bigger.
553
00:20:57,134 --> 00:20:59,769
[ "silent night" plays ]
554
00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:01,337
Jay: There's cam.
555
00:21:01,405 --> 00:21:03,740
Manny: [ laughs ]
556
00:21:03,741 --> 00:21:12,741
Sync by honeybunny
www.addid7ed.com
557
00:21:17,421 --> 00:21:19,923
Aah!
Oh, you did it again.
558
00:21:19,990 --> 00:21:21,925
You got me again.
[ laughs ]