1 00:00:02,389 --> 00:00:04,509 Oh, I hope Tad likes salmon. 2 00:00:04,913 --> 00:00:06,356 It's a bit of a risk serving fish 3 00:00:06,357 --> 00:00:07,968 to a first-time diner at Dunphy's. 4 00:00:07,969 --> 00:00:10,011 Maybe I should marinate a steak for backup. 5 00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:11,943 I think someone has a man crush. 6 00:00:11,944 --> 00:00:14,507 First of all, I would never date a potential client. 7 00:00:14,508 --> 00:00:15,634 That's "first of all"? 8 00:00:15,635 --> 00:00:17,195 Secondly, I really need this to go well 9 00:00:17,196 --> 00:00:19,506 so he makes me his realtor. This guy's flipping properties 10 00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:21,580 like they're extras in a kung fu movie. 11 00:00:21,581 --> 00:00:23,522 So you're just kissing up to this guy for his money? 12 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,960 Not just. I really like him. 13 00:00:24,961 --> 00:00:26,799 He travels the world doing charity work, 14 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,027 rock climbs, flies planes... 15 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:30,946 How does he have time to do all that? 16 00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:32,883 Got divorced, and his whole life opened up. 17 00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:34,219 Guy's living the dream. 18 00:00:36,156 --> 00:00:37,229 His dream. 19 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:40,175 Not my dream. I'm living my dream. 20 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,285 You're my dream. 21 00:00:41,286 --> 00:00:42,388 You can stop. 22 00:00:42,973 --> 00:00:44,548 I so don't want to do this. 23 00:00:44,988 --> 00:00:46,689 Recently, Haley got a little creative 24 00:00:46,690 --> 00:00:47,994 on one of her college applications 25 00:00:47,995 --> 00:00:50,933 and listed herself as a "big sister." 26 00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:53,076 Technically, I am a big sister. 27 00:00:53,077 --> 00:00:54,703 She capitalized the "b" and the "s." 28 00:00:54,704 --> 00:00:56,937 Which makes sense, 'cause it was. 29 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:58,711 So Claire and I suggested-- 30 00:00:58,712 --> 00:00:59,900 Forced. 31 00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:02,974 That she volunteer for the organization. 32 00:01:03,155 --> 00:01:04,640 We couldn't be prouder. 33 00:01:05,476 --> 00:01:06,575 We could. 34 00:01:06,576 --> 00:01:07,766 Little bit. 35 00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:09,165 Hey, dad? 36 00:01:09,166 --> 00:01:11,290 Did you accidentally leave this hilarious book 37 00:01:11,291 --> 00:01:12,840 of lawyer jokes in the guest room? 38 00:01:12,841 --> 00:01:14,723 I'll tell you if you can answer the following question-- 39 00:01:14,724 --> 00:01:15,826 What's the difference between 40 00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:18,821 - a catfish and a lawyer? - I don't know. What? 41 00:01:18,822 --> 00:01:20,999 Well, one's a bottom-feeding mud-dweller. 42 00:01:21,565 --> 00:01:22,461 The other's a fish. 43 00:01:22,462 --> 00:01:23,821 Zing! 44 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:24,777 Honk! 45 00:01:24,778 --> 00:01:27,039 Okay, everyone, dinner is served! 46 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:27,704 Let's get it! 47 00:01:27,705 --> 00:01:29,588 Our house is being fumigated, so Jay and Gloria 48 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,672 invited us to stay here for a few days. 49 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,677 I am very excited to have 72 hours with this one. 50 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:36,340 We don't get to spend much time together, 51 00:01:36,341 --> 00:01:38,985 so I know that we're gonna be like, um... 52 00:01:40,389 --> 00:01:41,487 Fred and Ginger? 53 00:01:41,687 --> 00:01:42,694 Who? 54 00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:45,671 Movie night! 55 00:01:49,188 --> 00:01:51,522 It's nosier than usual around here. 56 00:01:53,086 --> 00:01:54,223 Oh, gosh! 57 00:01:55,064 --> 00:01:58,564 Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com 58 00:02:07,573 --> 00:02:09,317 Tad, this wine is fantastic. 59 00:02:09,318 --> 00:02:10,567 Spend a week in Mendoza, 60 00:02:10,568 --> 00:02:13,088 and you'll find a dozen or so malbec producers 61 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,738 that'll give most Bordeaux a real run for their money. 62 00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:17,491 - Mm. - I'm sorry. 63 00:02:17,492 --> 00:02:18,724 This should come with a warning-- 64 00:02:18,725 --> 00:02:20,343 "may cause pretentiousness." 65 00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:24,004 You should come with a warning-- "may be fascinating." 66 00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,357 - Oh! Excuse me. - Ohoh, gosh! 67 00:02:25,358 --> 00:02:26,553 - Oh. Ow. - Oh, that's, like, the ninth time 68 00:02:26,554 --> 00:02:27,604 this screw has popped out. 69 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,615 Oh, you know what? I need the angled screwdriver. 70 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:30,812 - I left it at the office. - Mm. 71 00:02:30,813 --> 00:02:34,427 I, um, I keep it there because of--of all my signs. 72 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:36,645 I'll, uh, put up a "for sale" sign, 73 00:02:37,013 --> 00:02:37,970 and next day, of course, 74 00:02:37,971 --> 00:02:39,785 - I gotta put up the "sold" banner. - Yeah. 75 00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:41,575 Then the next day, same deal--"for sale 76 00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:42,443 - "sold." - Mm-hmm. 77 00:02:42,554 --> 00:02:44,515 "For sale." "Sold." "For sale." "Sold." 78 00:02:44,516 --> 00:02:45,360 You're a great-- great salesman. 79 00:02:45,361 --> 00:02:46,720 - I'm getting that. - "For sale." "Sold." 80 00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:49,592 Right. Listen, I-I-I gotta go relieve the babysitter. 81 00:02:49,593 --> 00:02:52,106 My ex-wife took 50% of my stuff 82 00:02:52,107 --> 00:02:54,395 and left me 100% of my kids. 83 00:02:54,953 --> 00:02:56,731 - They're great. - Hey, listen, um, 84 00:02:56,782 --> 00:02:57,894 - thank you so much for coming. - Yeah, yeah. 85 00:02:57,895 --> 00:03:00,182 Oh, no, thank you, Phil, so much 86 00:03:00,183 --> 00:03:02,439 for the salmon and the steak 87 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,044 - and the chicken and the shrimp. - Oh... 88 00:03:04,045 --> 00:03:05,735 I mean, it was all just delicious. 89 00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:07,587 - Oh, great. - This guy is very lucky to have you. 90 00:03:09,317 --> 00:03:10,660 Okay. Thanks. 91 00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:11,807 Yeah. 92 00:03:13,428 --> 00:03:14,403 All right. 93 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,287 - Let me grab that. - Yeah. 94 00:03:16,412 --> 00:03:17,313 Yeah. Thanks so much. Bye-bye. 95 00:03:17,314 --> 00:03:18,398 Bye-bye. 96 00:03:21,876 --> 00:03:22,563 Did you see that? 97 00:03:22,564 --> 00:03:24,288 A handshake that almost became a hug? 98 00:03:24,289 --> 00:03:26,969 Yeah, I saw it. I lived it. I think I'm in. 99 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:28,844 No, honey. He kissed me on the lips. 100 00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:31,256 - Another good sign! - It's not a good sign. 101 00:03:31,257 --> 00:03:32,981 Sweetie, you don't think that's weird? 102 00:03:32,982 --> 00:03:34,565 Well, the guy's a world traveler. 103 00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:35,947 He has a time share in Costa Rica. 104 00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:37,321 That's probably how they do it there. 105 00:03:37,322 --> 00:03:40,088 I don't know, honey. It felt like he lingered. 106 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,607 It's a progressive culture. 107 00:03:42,075 --> 00:03:43,747 Most of them travel by zip line. 108 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:47,963 Biscuits and gravy? 109 00:03:47,964 --> 00:03:50,221 Yep, my grandma Bitsy's secret recipe, 110 00:03:50,222 --> 00:03:53,002 given to her by her housekeeper Delilah, 111 00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:54,402 who raised her and was her best friend-- 112 00:03:54,403 --> 00:03:56,377 kind of like "The Help," except Delilah was white, 113 00:03:56,378 --> 00:03:58,767 and was actually herself quite the racist. 114 00:03:59,679 --> 00:04:00,805 Eat up. 115 00:04:00,806 --> 00:04:02,381 Good morning! 116 00:04:02,382 --> 00:04:03,781 - Hi, mom. - Hi, sweetheart. 117 00:04:03,782 --> 00:04:05,898 Ah, where did those come from? 118 00:04:05,899 --> 00:04:07,647 Yeah, I thought amaryllis were out of season. 119 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,430 Oh, I got a guy. You know, I just thought 120 00:04:09,431 --> 00:04:10,859 they'd brighten up the house a little bit. 121 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,296 Oh, that was so thoughtful of you. 122 00:04:13,738 --> 00:04:16,521 I didn't realize that my house needed brightening up. 123 00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,028 There she is! 124 00:04:18,029 --> 00:04:18,983 Gloria! Gloria! 125 00:04:18,984 --> 00:04:21,686 Ay! Let me fix your hair! 126 00:04:21,687 --> 00:04:23,608 Oh. Well, isn't that sweet? 127 00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:27,149 I didn't realize her hair was broken. 128 00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:29,642 Ah! That smells delicious, 129 00:04:29,643 --> 00:04:31,732 but nothing for me. I've got an early work lunch. 130 00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,535 Really? I didn't hear an ambulance. 131 00:04:33,536 --> 00:04:37,537 Yeah, it's funny because it's what I've dedicated my life to. 132 00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,102 Oh, is this that meeting with the deejay 133 00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:40,707 - with the funny name? - Booker Bell. 134 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:42,078 - Booker Bell. - Booker Bell? 135 00:04:42,079 --> 00:04:43,189 Everybody now! 136 00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:45,321 Booker Bell was only the greatest deejay 137 00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:46,947 in the history of Drive Time Radio. 138 00:04:46,948 --> 00:04:49,117 Yeah, well, now he has some wetlands that developers want, 139 00:04:49,118 --> 00:04:51,124 and we're trying to get him to donate for preservation. 140 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,281 When I was on the road selling, 141 00:04:52,282 --> 00:04:53,634 I used to listen to Booker all the time. 142 00:04:53,635 --> 00:04:55,736 He practically invented the prank phone call. 143 00:04:55,737 --> 00:04:58,085 Okay. Wish me luck. 144 00:04:58,086 --> 00:04:59,018 Good luck, sweetie! 145 00:04:59,019 --> 00:05:00,517 Booker would play a prank, 146 00:05:00,518 --> 00:05:02,193 the sucker would be twisting in the wind, 147 00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,814 and just when you couldn't stand it anymore, 148 00:05:03,815 --> 00:05:06,541 he'd say, "guess who just got their bell rung!" 149 00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:07,919 God, I'd love to meet him. 150 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,574 Oh, they're just going down to Rae's. 151 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,332 You should pop down. 152 00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,363 - I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan. - I don't know. 153 00:05:12,364 --> 00:05:14,598 I met Boz Scaggs once, got all tongue-tied. 154 00:05:14,599 --> 00:05:15,617 Oh, you'll be fine. 155 00:05:15,618 --> 00:05:17,768 Oh! Oh, Lily, it's time for school, sweetie. 156 00:05:17,769 --> 00:05:19,188 Oh, I can take her. 157 00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:20,780 Yay! Yay! 158 00:05:20,938 --> 00:05:22,416 Oh. That'd be great. 159 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,544 Yeah, it'd give me some more time to clean the kitchen. 160 00:05:25,545 --> 00:05:27,696 Maybe do a little dusting. 161 00:05:28,257 --> 00:05:29,966 - Delicious, Cam. - Mm-hmm. 162 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:37,004 Annie was amazing, so funny and cute and sweet. 163 00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:39,634 - Yeah, you've said. - She made this for me last night. 164 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,948 Look how she signs her name with that big loopy "a." 165 00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:45,095 I'm totally going to frame this. 166 00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:47,871 I made this for Haley four years ago. 167 00:05:49,811 --> 00:05:51,356 You think this got framed? 168 00:05:51,357 --> 00:05:53,183 She tossed it in the garbage... 169 00:05:54,139 --> 00:05:55,875 Right after she wrote "Mrs. Haley Jonas Brothers" 170 00:05:55,876 --> 00:05:57,700 on it, like, 30 times. 171 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,389 The tax write-off alone makes financial sense. 172 00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:03,146 You know, even if you take the environment out of it. 173 00:06:03,147 --> 00:06:04,703 Well, don't take the environment out of it. 174 00:06:04,704 --> 00:06:06,396 Without the wetlands, there's no ducks, 175 00:06:06,615 --> 00:06:08,224 and without the ducks, there's nothing for me to shoot at. 176 00:06:08,225 --> 00:06:10,239 Okay. Well, we're shooting from two different angles, 177 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,375 but, uh, hopefully we'll end up at the same place. 178 00:06:13,432 --> 00:06:14,886 - Mitch. - Dad? 179 00:06:14,887 --> 00:06:17,610 I just had to stop down and meet this guy. 180 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,417 Booker Bell, I'm Boz Scaggs-- 181 00:06:19,418 --> 00:06:22,553 No! I mean Jay Pritchett. Damn it. 182 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,438 - It's nice to meet you. - This is such an honor. 183 00:06:24,439 --> 00:06:27,220 You are hands down my favorite radio personality of all time. 184 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,142 That's kind of you to say. 185 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:29,610 Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by, dad. 186 00:06:29,611 --> 00:06:31,755 - You know, I gotta tell you one thing. - I'll see you back at the house. 187 00:06:31,914 --> 00:06:34,656 One time when I was driving from Youngstown to Sugar Creek, 188 00:06:34,657 --> 00:06:36,973 you called this guy at a Kitty Litter Company 189 00:06:36,974 --> 00:06:39,162 and you asked him to bring over 900 pounds of litter, 190 00:06:39,341 --> 00:06:42,519 and in the background, you hear all these lions roaring, and... 191 00:06:46,899 --> 00:06:49,167 I-I-I laughed so hard, I almost had an accident. 192 00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:50,527 The car or you? 193 00:06:51,487 --> 00:06:52,737 Funny as ever! 194 00:06:53,275 --> 00:06:55,827 - Anyway... - Hey, are you still in touch with the old gang? 195 00:06:55,828 --> 00:06:57,931 Grandma Groovy? Spaceman Clyde? 196 00:06:57,942 --> 00:07:00,261 - Are you kidding? I am the old gang. - No way. 197 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:02,882 I may be old, but I still know how to boggie. 198 00:07:02,883 --> 00:07:04,696 My God, it's like she's here! 199 00:07:04,697 --> 00:07:05,851 She is here! 200 00:07:06,002 --> 00:07:07,493 How are you still not getting this? 201 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,745 That's her. 202 00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:09,941 Excuse me for a sec. 203 00:07:12,022 --> 00:07:13,052 What are you doing? 204 00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:15,293 What? I'm a fan. I came down to say hi. 205 00:07:15,306 --> 00:07:16,552 This is a business meeting. 206 00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:19,074 Do you have any idea how inappropiate this is? 207 00:07:19,075 --> 00:07:20,497 No. No, of course you don't, 208 00:07:20,498 --> 00:07:22,233 because as far as you're concerned, all a lawyer does 209 00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,306 is walk into a bar with a rabbi and polar bear. 210 00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:27,691 Grizzly, 'cause otherwise, with the bartender-- 211 00:07:27,692 --> 00:07:29,743 Dad! I'm working! 212 00:07:29,744 --> 00:07:30,935 You're embarrasing both of us! 213 00:07:30,936 --> 00:07:32,395 Please, you gotta go! 214 00:07:32,659 --> 00:07:33,894 Okay, I didn't realize that. 215 00:07:33,895 --> 00:07:35,571 Yeah. Yeah. You didn't. 216 00:07:35,610 --> 00:07:36,679 I'm sorry, go! 217 00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:41,180 Hey. Where's my stalker? 218 00:07:41,181 --> 00:07:43,405 Oh, he's gone. I've got rid of him. 219 00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:45,072 I'm sorry that he attacked you like that. 220 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,594 Attacked? 221 00:07:46,595 --> 00:07:48,240 No, I don't mind a little smoke of my bloomers. 222 00:07:48,241 --> 00:07:50,721 Well, just I thought since this was a business meeting, 223 00:07:50,722 --> 00:07:51,534 - we should-- - And you thought 224 00:07:51,535 --> 00:07:53,323 that maybe hanging with somebody would make me feel good 225 00:07:53,324 --> 00:07:54,278 with racket? 226 00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:57,200 There's been a lot of tension between me and my dad. 227 00:07:57,201 --> 00:07:58,899 I'm actually staying at his house... 228 00:07:58,944 --> 00:08:01,510 Oh, so you chased away a man who's opening his home to you. 229 00:08:02,094 --> 00:08:04,107 I get the sense that I'm losing you. 230 00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:06,619 Could I talk to Grandma Groovy? 231 00:08:07,002 --> 00:08:08,171 Honey, I'm home. 232 00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:10,267 Hell, I didn't expect you so early dear.. 233 00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:12,207 What? You? 234 00:08:12,698 --> 00:08:14,860 Yeah, look who came by to fix the table. 235 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,088 Well, I had some time to kill, 236 00:08:16,089 --> 00:08:18,379 so I thought I'd drop by with that tool your wife needed. 237 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,191 Wow. What a guy. Yeah. 238 00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:22,012 Mm-hmm. He also brought some wine. 239 00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:23,459 Well, you said you liked it last night, 240 00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,659 so I had a couple extra bottles lying around. 241 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,789 Boy, do you know the way to this gal's heart. 242 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:28,708 Okay. 243 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,462 I didn't just come here to fix your table 244 00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:31,558 and get your wife drunk. 245 00:08:31,559 --> 00:08:33,953 I actually decided to give you that listing 246 00:08:33,954 --> 00:08:35,019 on the sycamore property. 247 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:37,072 Really? That's great. 248 00:08:37,073 --> 00:08:39,426 Yeah. Why don't you, uh, come over for dinner tonight? 249 00:08:39,427 --> 00:08:42,111 And, uh, we'll work out all the details. One entree. 250 00:08:42,112 --> 00:08:43,437 Okay. Claire, you should come, too. 251 00:08:43,438 --> 00:08:44,882 Oh, no, no. No, no, if it's business-- 252 00:08:44,883 --> 00:08:46,234 - I insist. - He insists. 253 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,137 - We'll be there. We're coming. - Okay. 254 00:08:47,138 --> 00:08:48,651 Yeah, shall we say, uh, 7:00? 255 00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:50,060 - 7:00 sounds great. - Okay. 256 00:08:50,061 --> 00:08:51,067 All right. 257 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,512 - I'll let myself out. - Okay. 258 00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:59,055 Wow. 259 00:08:59,056 --> 00:09:00,718 "Wow" is right. 260 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,382 - Mm-hmm. - I just got sycamore-- 261 00:09:02,383 --> 00:09:05,295 a house that sells itself and gives me the commission. 262 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,462 How does that not bother you? 263 00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:08,895 Claire, it's an expression. 264 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,329 There's work. Inspections, appraisals-- 265 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:12,156 He brought me wine, 266 00:09:12,157 --> 00:09:14,687 he took his shirt off when you weren't here! 267 00:09:14,744 --> 00:09:15,890 Um, he brought us wine, 268 00:09:15,891 --> 00:09:17,572 and it doesn't look super vacuumed down there. 269 00:09:17,573 --> 00:09:18,956 I'm surprised he kept his pants on. 270 00:09:18,957 --> 00:09:20,505 Okay. Okay, I can see what's going on. 271 00:09:20,506 --> 00:09:22,807 You--you're just so focused on getting his business, 272 00:09:22,808 --> 00:09:24,751 that you don't see what's going on in front of you. 273 00:09:24,752 --> 00:09:27,253 Okay. Now I do see what's going on. 274 00:09:27,254 --> 00:09:28,949 - What? - Come here, pretty girl. 275 00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,875 - What? Mm? - You are, you know. You don't hear it enough. 276 00:09:32,401 --> 00:09:34,797 The other night, when you put on makeup, 277 00:09:35,178 --> 00:09:37,271 I was like, "there she is." 278 00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:38,392 Oh, my God. 279 00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:41,283 You think I'm making this up as some part of a-an ego boost? 280 00:09:41,284 --> 00:09:43,828 Do you realize how insulting that is? 281 00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,098 What are you doing? 282 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,332 Helping my little sister with her homework. 283 00:09:49,537 --> 00:09:51,493 That seems... mean. 284 00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:53,134 Annie, this is Alex. 285 00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,665 That other sister I was telling you about. 286 00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:57,886 Hi. So nice to meet you. 287 00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:00,481 Um, if you're going to study there, 288 00:10:00,482 --> 00:10:02,493 you might need to correct numbers 7 through 10. 289 00:10:02,701 --> 00:10:05,502 This bed has higher standards than that bed. 290 00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:07,972 I'm going to get some more lemonade. 291 00:10:10,474 --> 00:10:13,384 I think your sister's mad at our sister. 292 00:10:18,997 --> 00:10:20,449 We're back! 293 00:10:20,517 --> 00:10:22,318 Oh, well, there you are. I guess "lunch then home" 294 00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:23,787 means different things to different people. 295 00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:25,988 We had a girls' day. Lily, Lily, come! 296 00:10:26,056 --> 00:10:28,209 Show your papa what we bought! 297 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,192 Matchy jackets! 298 00:10:30,259 --> 00:10:31,696 It's like she's the baby leopard, 299 00:10:31,928 --> 00:10:33,028 and I'm the mama. 300 00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:34,329 Or they just happened to have two jackets, 301 00:10:34,397 --> 00:10:35,630 one large, one small. 302 00:10:37,233 --> 00:10:38,533 What happened here? Where is my tea? 303 00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:40,035 Oh, it's in this drawer over here. 304 00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:42,737 As a thank-you, I took some time to rearrange your kitchen 305 00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,638 so it makes sense. 306 00:10:45,258 --> 00:10:46,240 To who? 307 00:10:46,308 --> 00:10:48,176 To everyone. There's a flow now. Watch-- 308 00:10:48,243 --> 00:10:51,312 Tea. Mug. Kettle. You're welcome. 309 00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:52,667 I didn't thank you. 310 00:10:53,843 --> 00:10:54,789 You don't have to. 311 00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:56,317 I won't. 312 00:11:07,346 --> 00:11:09,780 Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place 313 00:11:09,848 --> 00:11:11,682 to work out whatever's going on here. 314 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:13,183 I'm a child of divorce. 315 00:11:13,252 --> 00:11:15,720 Conflict resolution is something of a specialty. 316 00:11:15,787 --> 00:11:17,622 The key is, tell a personal story 317 00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,266 that applies to their situation, 318 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:21,057 even if you have to make one up. 319 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,025 That way, they really hear what they need to hear. 320 00:11:24,828 --> 00:11:26,329 I'm sorry. You're right. 321 00:11:26,629 --> 00:11:29,462 No. I'm sorry I snapped. 322 00:11:29,463 --> 00:11:30,833 I'm just going through some stuff 323 00:11:30,901 --> 00:11:32,435 with this girl I like, Danielle. 324 00:11:32,947 --> 00:11:35,771 She came over the other day, and Stella was all over her, 325 00:11:35,838 --> 00:11:38,034 and--and I got jealous. Which is crazy, right? 326 00:11:38,035 --> 00:11:41,257 I mean, Stella was only playing with her because she was new. 327 00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:44,163 Manny, sounds like Danielle was trying 328 00:11:44,164 --> 00:11:45,414 to get between you and your puppy, 329 00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:46,848 and that ain't cool. 330 00:11:46,916 --> 00:11:49,752 She seems immature, and you can do better. 331 00:11:50,321 --> 00:11:51,218 I'm sorry to be blunt, 332 00:11:51,287 --> 00:11:53,484 but I'm going through something myself right now. 333 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:55,923 So, chin up. Okay. 334 00:11:55,991 --> 00:11:57,558 It may not work every time, 335 00:11:57,626 --> 00:11:59,594 but you only need one fish to bite. 336 00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:01,301 Who is this Danielle? 337 00:12:01,369 --> 00:12:03,637 She's my study partner in my history class, 338 00:12:03,705 --> 00:12:04,387 and we share a notebook. 339 00:12:04,388 --> 00:12:05,841 But her notes were really confusing, 340 00:12:05,842 --> 00:12:07,110 so I put them in order. 341 00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:09,514 Instead of thanking me for making our lives easier, 342 00:12:09,515 --> 00:12:11,949 she got all mad because she thought I was judging her. 343 00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:15,612 This girl is very bad news, Manny. 344 00:12:15,976 --> 00:12:18,308 You stay away from her. 345 00:12:22,714 --> 00:12:23,456 - Hey. - Hi. 346 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,536 We're Phil and Claire. 347 00:12:24,537 --> 00:12:26,395 Hey, I'm Tony. Come on in. I'll go get my dad. 348 00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:27,929 - Okay. - Great, thanks. 349 00:12:28,298 --> 00:12:30,633 - Wow. - I don't like the way that kid was looking at you. 350 00:12:30,701 --> 00:12:31,968 We are not friends right now. 351 00:12:32,035 --> 00:12:34,036 I am only here to help pump up the college fund. 352 00:12:34,104 --> 00:12:36,038 Claire, if Tad even makes a move towards you, 353 00:12:36,106 --> 00:12:37,574 his ass is... grass. 354 00:12:37,641 --> 00:12:39,908 Really? I thought that was just my ego. 355 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,142 So far, yeah, but just know, 356 00:12:41,210 --> 00:12:42,678 I'm ready to grass his ass. 357 00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:43,779 Hey, hey, hey, guys. 358 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:44,980 - Hey! - How are you! 359 00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:46,715 - Good. - Good to see you. 360 00:12:46,783 --> 00:12:49,084 - Yeah. - Hi. That's good. 361 00:12:49,151 --> 00:12:50,919 Well, I love the place. Did you remodel this? 362 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,320 Uh, actually, my ex-wife. 363 00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:54,722 She had a, uh, passion for modern architecture 364 00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:56,557 and at least one modern architect. 365 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,959 May have to sell this one next. 366 00:12:59,027 --> 00:13:00,294 Really? Wow. 367 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,234 I love how open it is. 368 00:13:01,235 --> 00:13:03,097 - Do you mind if I, uh, poke around? - Please, yeah. 369 00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:04,331 Beautiful. 370 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,833 Tad, if you don't need my help anymore with the kids, 371 00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:07,602 - I'll be going. - Thank you so much, Ellen. 372 00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:08,636 You're welcome. 373 00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:09,270 Okay. We'll see you later. Bye. 374 00:13:09,271 --> 00:13:10,646 I saw this house eight years ago. 375 00:13:10,647 --> 00:13:12,160 There used to be a wall here, right? 376 00:13:12,161 --> 00:13:14,105 That's right. That's right. That was all covered. 377 00:13:14,106 --> 00:13:16,973 Yeah. I'm a detail guy. Hard to get much past me. 378 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,436 Hello, hello! 379 00:13:18,437 --> 00:13:19,449 - Hi, Aunt Kara! - Hey! How are you? 380 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,417 Good, Tad, how you doing? 381 00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:21,972 - Bye, daddy. - Bye, sweetie. 382 00:13:21,973 --> 00:13:23,829 - Bye, dad. - Have fun. 383 00:13:23,830 --> 00:13:25,922 - Okay. See you later. - Come on, guys, let's go. 384 00:13:26,215 --> 00:13:28,696 These stairs used to be teak, am I right? 385 00:13:29,706 --> 00:13:30,851 This guy's good. 386 00:13:30,919 --> 00:13:32,786 Yeah, he's good. 387 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,855 - He's sharp. - I forgot my bag. 388 00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,857 You do that every time. 389 00:13:36,925 --> 00:13:38,792 Yep. 390 00:13:39,157 --> 00:13:40,758 I don't miss much. 391 00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:48,995 Oh, I'm sorry. Were you trying to read? 392 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,515 You're the one who tries to read. 393 00:13:50,516 --> 00:13:52,484 Oh, my gosh! I am not that stupid! 394 00:13:52,552 --> 00:13:53,445 Seriously, Haley, you think you 395 00:13:53,446 --> 00:13:54,886 - are the coolest person ever! - Would you please stop 396 00:13:54,954 --> 00:13:55,811 just judging me and everything that I do? 397 00:13:55,812 --> 00:13:56,355 "Look at me! I'm so cool!" 398 00:13:56,422 --> 00:13:58,022 Enough! Enough! 399 00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:00,491 I am so sick of you two fighting all the time! 400 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:01,792 You're a bad big sister, 401 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:03,927 and you're a bad little sister! 402 00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:06,764 And you're both bad big sisters to me. 403 00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:08,679 Be normaler. 404 00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:13,738 Wow. 405 00:14:13,805 --> 00:14:16,839 I've never seen him like that. 406 00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:19,270 Well, we do kind of neglect him. 407 00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:21,339 And if you think about it, 408 00:14:21,407 --> 00:14:24,809 he is kind of... our little sister. 409 00:14:25,339 --> 00:14:27,478 Remember how we used to dress him up? 410 00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:29,113 I miss her. 411 00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:31,281 I hear you, and I don't like where this is going! 412 00:14:31,751 --> 00:14:32,670 You get the lipstick, 413 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,530 I'll get the bra and tennis balls. 414 00:14:34,531 --> 00:14:37,166 Betty Luke! 415 00:14:37,234 --> 00:14:38,534 I will burn this house down! 416 00:14:59,822 --> 00:15:01,857 Where is the cheese grater? 417 00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,594 Where is the cutting board? 418 00:15:07,899 --> 00:15:09,830 Where would you want it to be? 419 00:15:13,268 --> 00:15:16,370 Yes, right here next to the cheese grater. 420 00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,251 I know it's hard to tell by looking at me, 421 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:20,645 but I am not a natural homemaker. 422 00:15:20,646 --> 00:15:23,609 So when Cam came and organized my kitchen, 423 00:15:23,677 --> 00:15:27,013 I felt insecure and lashed out. 424 00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:28,481 In a way, I'm no better 425 00:15:28,548 --> 00:15:30,608 than Manny's crazy friend Danielle. 426 00:15:31,929 --> 00:15:33,787 Please, can we just focus on the cooking? 427 00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:42,594 Daddy, we forgot to give you this. 428 00:15:42,662 --> 00:15:44,263 It's like our jackets. 429 00:15:46,565 --> 00:15:47,621 I love it. 430 00:15:49,936 --> 00:15:51,224 I guess I've always been a little sensitive 431 00:15:51,225 --> 00:15:53,039 about Lily not having a mother, 432 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:55,206 and Gloria's so good at it. 433 00:15:55,274 --> 00:15:56,846 I got jealous. 434 00:15:57,309 --> 00:15:59,373 Maybe I should tell Manny this story. 435 00:15:59,374 --> 00:16:01,774 It might help him with that train wreck Danielle. 436 00:16:02,848 --> 00:16:04,680 You know what? Why don't you turn that music back on. 437 00:16:04,681 --> 00:16:05,949 Was kind of nice. 438 00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:31,868 Hey, dad... 439 00:16:31,869 --> 00:16:33,048 No need to talk about it. 440 00:16:33,049 --> 00:16:34,467 I was out of line coming down there, 441 00:16:34,468 --> 00:16:36,276 won't happen again. Scotch is at the bar. 442 00:16:36,277 --> 00:16:37,917 No, I've been giving this a lot of thought. 443 00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:38,985 I guess we're gonna talk about it. 444 00:16:39,052 --> 00:16:40,419 I was rude to you. 445 00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,884 I think I was just annoyed by all the lawyer jokes. 446 00:16:42,885 --> 00:16:45,048 I mean, let's be honest, you don't exactly 447 00:16:45,049 --> 00:16:47,121 beam with pride over what I do for a living. 448 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,625 Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. 449 00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:50,897 Pretty sure that's-- that's not the saying, 450 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:53,199 but, um, you know, Manny told me a story 451 00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:54,623 about his friend Danielle. 452 00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:56,635 She sounds like a real piece of work, by the way. 453 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,603 But, uh, it made me realize that 454 00:16:59,604 --> 00:17:01,514 I take myself a little too seriously. 455 00:17:01,515 --> 00:17:05,243 Listen, it goes without saying I've always been proud of you, 456 00:17:05,311 --> 00:17:07,204 and I brag about you all the time. 457 00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:10,523 So if I say, "what do lawyers use as birth control?" 458 00:17:10,524 --> 00:17:12,441 And the answer is, "their personalities," 459 00:17:12,442 --> 00:17:14,852 I want you to know I'm not referring to you. 460 00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:17,392 You don't need any birth control. 461 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:21,768 Hello? 462 00:17:22,446 --> 00:17:23,681 Yeah, this is Jay Pritchett. 463 00:17:24,929 --> 00:17:26,181 What? When? 464 00:17:26,182 --> 00:17:27,059 What happened? 465 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,822 It's the police. My car got stolen. 466 00:17:28,823 --> 00:17:31,105 Yeah, 2012. Gray. 467 00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:33,337 No, not pewter. More like a light... 468 00:17:33,338 --> 00:17:35,205 Like a--no, not slate. 469 00:17:36,769 --> 00:17:38,527 I don't even know what "coastal fog" is. 470 00:17:38,528 --> 00:17:40,193 Just put down "gray." 471 00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:41,735 Kilo? 472 00:17:41,736 --> 00:17:42,937 It's not my car. 473 00:17:43,004 --> 00:17:44,537 Yes, she's columbian. 474 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,606 What does that have to do with--no, I'm coming down there. 475 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,442 Hang on. Grab your keys. 476 00:17:48,509 --> 00:17:49,476 I think I might need a lawyer. 477 00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:54,481 Guess who just got his bell rung? 478 00:18:00,753 --> 00:18:01,478 That's good. 479 00:18:01,479 --> 00:18:02,684 That's good. 480 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,091 Here we go. Have a seat. 481 00:18:05,158 --> 00:18:07,369 I got a bottle of port from 1899. 482 00:18:07,370 --> 00:18:08,753 - Whoa. - Wow! 483 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,912 Okay, I got it for $18.99... 484 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:12,531 But it's a good one. 485 00:18:16,768 --> 00:18:18,236 Fun night, right? Great dinner? 486 00:18:18,304 --> 00:18:20,405 Yes. Yes, and... 487 00:18:20,473 --> 00:18:22,673 Tad is... great, 488 00:18:22,741 --> 00:18:25,576 - and I know I was giving you a hard time... - Hey. 489 00:18:25,644 --> 00:18:27,445 But I feel like I should say that I am sorry. 490 00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:29,170 Hey, hey, hey, Claire, you don't need to explain. 491 00:18:29,171 --> 00:18:31,460 Your apology is apology enough. 492 00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:33,959 Oh, I forgot the best part of the Costa Rica story. 493 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,746 So we get home, and they've taken over the living room, 494 00:18:37,747 --> 00:18:39,030 they've taken over the kitchen, 495 00:18:39,097 --> 00:18:41,098 I mean, they're in the food, they're on the bed. 496 00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:45,341 And finally, after two years of complaining to Diego about this, 497 00:18:45,342 --> 00:18:47,292 he finally stops and says, 498 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:51,833 "okay, now I see it. You do have a monkey problem." 499 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,265 A monkey problem! 500 00:18:58,315 --> 00:19:00,617 Yeah, I heard him the first time. 501 00:19:00,685 --> 00:19:02,791 You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, 502 00:19:02,792 --> 00:19:04,919 but you cannot make her laugh. 503 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,754 I wanna go back. 504 00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:10,192 You can kiss my wife, 505 00:19:10,259 --> 00:19:13,399 but only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. 506 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,645 I wanna go back. 507 00:19:15,999 --> 00:19:19,918 Only I can take my wife to bed, 508 00:19:19,919 --> 00:19:21,024 comma, 509 00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:22,813 and make her laugh. 510 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,908 I mean, they're in everything. 511 00:19:26,976 --> 00:19:28,462 The only thing they didn't touch-- 512 00:19:28,463 --> 00:19:29,617 the bananas. 513 00:19:32,318 --> 00:19:33,927 The monkeys love bananas! 514 00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:35,795 You would think they would love the bananas. 515 00:19:35,863 --> 00:19:36,986 Yeah, we should go. 516 00:19:36,987 --> 00:19:39,197 - Come on. The bananas-- - Yeah, we need to go. 517 00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:40,174 - We gotta get going. - Oh, no, no, no. 518 00:19:40,175 --> 00:19:41,647 - Yeah, yeah, we're late. - But he just opened the-- 519 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,656 - we're late for getting home. - Thanks for everything. Just-- 520 00:19:43,657 --> 00:19:45,339 - Oh. Okay. - Okay. 521 00:19:45,605 --> 00:19:46,906 What is wrong with you? 522 00:19:46,974 --> 00:19:48,675 You laughed like it was "who's on first?" 523 00:19:48,742 --> 00:19:49,366 What? 524 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,342 He's on second. Don't try to cheer me up. 525 00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,011 I know what's going on here. You're jealous. 526 00:19:53,918 --> 00:19:54,887 Of him? 527 00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:56,784 He's not even funny! 528 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:58,850 What's he got? Like, a soft ten minutes? 529 00:19:58,918 --> 00:20:00,251 And he goes to the Costa Rican well 530 00:20:00,319 --> 00:20:01,920 a little too much for my taste. 531 00:20:01,988 --> 00:20:03,789 Oh, God. 532 00:20:03,856 --> 00:20:05,203 Really? This is still about the monkey? 533 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,457 No! No, no, no! 534 00:20:06,525 --> 00:20:09,426 It's you. You are making me so happy right now. 535 00:20:09,494 --> 00:20:12,529 You stormed out of there, and you're acting like an idiot. 536 00:20:12,597 --> 00:20:15,666 You like this? Because I am really uncomfortable. 537 00:20:15,734 --> 00:20:18,836 Honey, I love it. Makes me feel special. 538 00:20:18,904 --> 00:20:21,172 Sometimes, I really don't understand you. 539 00:20:21,239 --> 00:20:22,948 I know. It's stupid, 540 00:20:22,949 --> 00:20:25,862 but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me, 541 00:20:25,863 --> 00:20:28,651 and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story. 542 00:20:29,113 --> 00:20:32,816 But no one makes me laugh like you do. 543 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:35,118 - As long as it's always genuine. - Mm-hmm. 544 00:20:35,186 --> 00:20:36,319 You can fake anything you want with me, 545 00:20:36,386 --> 00:20:37,721 but not your laugh. 546 00:20:38,832 --> 00:20:40,178 - I'd like to go back. - Yeah. 547 00:20:43,989 --> 00:20:45,808 Stop it! Leave me alone! 548 00:20:45,974 --> 00:20:47,865 - Hold still! - Stop moving! 549 00:20:47,866 --> 00:20:49,374 I hate you! Get off of me! 550 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,339 What... is going on? 551 00:20:52,735 --> 00:20:54,469 You guys are in a lot of trouble. 552 00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:56,437 Haley, I told you to clean this mess up, 553 00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,106 and, Alex, your books are everywhere. 554 00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:01,032 Betty Luke, sit down while your dad gets the camera. 555 00:21:01,033 --> 00:21:01,885 Got it. 556 00:21:02,611 --> 00:21:03,962 Last time, you made a funny face 557 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,941 and we didn't really get a good shot, 558 00:21:05,942 --> 00:21:07,634 so let's work on our smile. 559 00:21:07,635 --> 00:21:10,356 Okay. Good to see you, Betty Luke. 560 00:21:11,898 --> 00:21:15,860 Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net