1 00:00:03,778 --> 00:00:06,346 Whoa. What's all this? 2 00:00:06,380 --> 00:00:07,814 Mom heard us say we were bored. 3 00:00:07,849 --> 00:00:08,949 Suckers. 4 00:00:08,984 --> 00:00:11,018 She heard us from outside. 5 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:12,951 She has super good hearing, like a seeing eye dog. 6 00:00:12,952 --> 00:00:16,226 They have overdeveloped hearing to make up for the fact that-- 7 00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:18,529 Wait, the dogs aren't blind. 8 00:00:18,563 --> 00:00:20,697 Wait. Are they? 9 00:00:20,732 --> 00:00:23,000 No, that wouldn't make sense. 10 00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:24,351 You're right. 11 00:00:24,385 --> 00:00:26,314 If I wait long enough, she can get there by herself. 12 00:00:26,839 --> 00:00:27,433 Quick, girls-- 13 00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:29,706 famous Danny from "Moonstruck." 14 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,646 Aiello? 15 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,981 Hey, Phil. I'm glad I caught ya. 16 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:33,955 What's up? 17 00:00:33,956 --> 00:00:36,139 Uh, it's about Steven and Stefan. 18 00:00:36,173 --> 00:00:37,741 They wanna see that house on Briar again. 19 00:00:37,775 --> 00:00:39,242 Really? I showed it to them five times. 20 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:41,311 Last time we were there, I think they got mail. 21 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:42,712 Yeah, well, that's why I'm calling. 22 00:00:42,746 --> 00:00:44,931 They hate upsetting people, unless, of course, it's me. 23 00:00:44,966 --> 00:00:46,549 Then they don't mind waking me up at 7:00 A.M., 24 00:00:46,583 --> 00:00:47,750 asking me to call you. 25 00:00:47,768 --> 00:00:49,252 It's no problem. I'm just hanging around. 26 00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:50,753 Kind of bored, really. 27 00:00:51,606 --> 00:00:52,606 What? 28 00:00:54,435 --> 00:00:56,536 Well, we did our good deed for the day. 29 00:00:56,554 --> 00:00:58,519 Yeah, for the enemy. Don't they have enough? 30 00:00:58,520 --> 00:00:59,901 It's been about a year 31 00:00:59,902 --> 00:01:01,720 since we decided to adopt a boy. 32 00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:03,772 Meanwhile, our friends Steven and Stefan 33 00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,440 decided that they wanted a baby, too. 34 00:01:05,474 --> 00:01:06,709 Wonder where they got that idea? 35 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,515 Well, we're still waiting, but they already got their kid 36 00:01:09,516 --> 00:01:11,517 because they went through a surrogate. 37 00:01:11,552 --> 00:01:13,386 Which is all they talk about. 38 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,737 Are you gonna keep doing that? 39 00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:15,996 I might. 40 00:01:17,396 --> 00:01:18,423 I have to go show a house. 41 00:01:18,424 --> 00:01:21,241 But first, what was Elton John's sexual orientation in the '70s? 42 00:01:21,276 --> 00:01:21,986 Bye. 43 00:01:21,987 --> 00:01:24,492 - You've done that one before. - And it never gets old, 44 00:01:24,493 --> 00:01:27,004 like the good Captain Fantastic himself. 45 00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:29,347 Hey, Claire, guess what? 46 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:30,615 I'm sorry, honey, I can't talk right now. 47 00:01:30,649 --> 00:01:32,216 I told Bethenny I would take her to the airport. 48 00:01:32,251 --> 00:01:34,952 I'm late, and she's gonna miss her flight. Where are my keys? 49 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,487 Why is that chair still here? I thought you and Luke 50 00:01:36,522 --> 00:01:37,822 were gonna put it out on the sidewalk. 51 00:01:37,856 --> 00:01:40,458 So you can't talk unless it's about my chores? 52 00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:43,384 Why don't you just do it now, and you won't be so bored? 53 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:45,010 You heard that? 54 00:01:45,011 --> 00:01:47,146 I hear everything. 55 00:01:49,983 --> 00:01:51,326 That's for me. 56 00:01:52,438 --> 00:01:54,940 Hey, Leon. Nice buzz cut. 57 00:01:54,974 --> 00:01:57,242 Yeah, for some people, the shampoo doesn't work. 58 00:01:57,260 --> 00:01:59,753 It only makes the lice angry. 59 00:02:00,313 --> 00:02:02,281 Nice to see you. 60 00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,914 Oh, no. No--oh, God. 61 00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:06,916 Um, Alex, do not move. 62 00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:08,350 Haley, clean this up, okay? 63 00:02:08,385 --> 00:02:10,052 Who fills a vase with marbles? 64 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,204 Who doesn't see a vase filled with marbles? 65 00:02:12,238 --> 00:02:14,122 Who wants to hear a bunch of plates crashing? 66 00:02:14,140 --> 00:02:16,692 Phil! Honey, the girls need you in the kitchen! 67 00:02:16,726 --> 00:02:20,161 Thanks for the hat, Leon. It kind of tickles. 68 00:02:20,162 --> 00:02:21,084 Phil! 69 00:02:21,085 --> 00:02:23,536 How much electricity do we need to bring this back? 70 00:02:23,571 --> 00:02:24,687 It's not rocket science. 71 00:02:24,722 --> 00:02:26,489 We're only reanimating a squirrel. 72 00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:28,775 Phil! Now! 73 00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:34,688 Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com 74 00:02:42,427 --> 00:02:44,155 Sounds great. No, hang on. 75 00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:45,423 Gloria, where's Manny? 76 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:48,042 Some neighborhood kids have invited him to play football. 77 00:02:48,077 --> 00:02:51,066 He said he was taking his morning constitutional. 78 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,635 He's working on his go-cart, but he'll be there. 79 00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:55,070 Okay. See you then. 80 00:02:55,104 --> 00:02:57,473 No, Manny cannot go and play with those boys. 81 00:02:57,507 --> 00:02:59,575 Margo is trying to get us theater tickets 82 00:02:59,609 --> 00:03:00,657 for this afternoon. 83 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,185 Gloria, you and Manny do enough together. 84 00:03:02,186 --> 00:03:04,620 Let's let him decide. Where's he walking? 85 00:03:04,655 --> 00:03:06,822 I don't know. But according to the song he was singing, 86 00:03:06,857 --> 00:03:09,392 he was going to the sunny side of the street. 87 00:03:09,426 --> 00:03:12,695 I cannot express to you enough how bad this kid needs football. 88 00:03:12,713 --> 00:03:14,666 Mom! Look what I found! 89 00:03:14,667 --> 00:03:16,216 Number 99! 90 00:03:16,217 --> 00:03:18,802 When Manny was 5, we didn't have much. 91 00:03:18,836 --> 00:03:20,086 We were on our own. 92 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,799 So we always dreamed of winning the lottery. 93 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,516 We figured if we collected 100 lucky heads-up pennies 94 00:03:25,517 --> 00:03:27,452 and bought a ticket with them, we couldn't lose. 95 00:03:27,486 --> 00:03:30,340 But now I have a wonderful husband, 96 00:03:30,341 --> 00:03:31,708 a beautiful home... 97 00:03:31,742 --> 00:03:34,811 I feel like I already won the lottery. 98 00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:36,312 So I can keep whatever we win? 99 00:03:36,347 --> 00:03:39,582 I think no. I found most of them. 100 00:03:42,345 --> 00:03:44,145 Can you put this in the jar with the others? 101 00:03:44,196 --> 00:03:44,946 Sí. 102 00:03:45,865 --> 00:03:47,132 Ay. I forgot. 103 00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:48,800 What is the combination to your safe? 104 00:03:50,336 --> 00:03:51,736 I'll just come with you. 105 00:03:51,771 --> 00:03:53,405 Oh, yes, 'cause that's how this arrangement works-- 106 00:03:53,439 --> 00:03:54,752 I take money from you! 107 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,327 Hello? 108 00:03:59,362 --> 00:04:01,696 Oh, hi, Margo. No, she just ran upstairs. 109 00:04:01,747 --> 00:04:03,848 Listen, about these theater tickets-- 110 00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:05,517 don't knock yourself out trying to... 111 00:04:05,551 --> 00:04:07,218 Oh, you did? 112 00:04:07,236 --> 00:04:08,787 Well, sorry to do this last minute, 113 00:04:08,821 --> 00:04:10,415 but they can't go. 114 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,518 No, Manny has a football game, so... 115 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,367 Jay, could you steep my tea? 116 00:04:17,105 --> 00:04:18,738 I cannot express to you enough 117 00:04:18,773 --> 00:04:20,978 how much this kid needs football. 118 00:04:20,979 --> 00:04:24,027 And that is the whole house... 119 00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:25,461 Again. 120 00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:27,930 I love it, but I just don't love it. 121 00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:28,490 Do you love it? 122 00:04:28,491 --> 00:04:29,970 I love it. I absolutely love it. 123 00:04:29,971 --> 00:04:32,138 I'm just not sure if I'm in love with it. 124 00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:33,273 Oh, yeah. 125 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,791 We have an expression around the office 126 00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,917 for when a sale just isn't happening-- 127 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,812 "Commission: Impossible." 128 00:04:40,178 --> 00:04:41,895 Maybe for some people. 129 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:43,714 Not sure if I mentioned it before, 130 00:04:43,748 --> 00:04:45,983 but the house does come with a hookup 131 00:04:46,017 --> 00:04:47,684 for a European washing machine. 132 00:04:47,718 --> 00:04:49,348 Oh, I love that. 133 00:04:51,122 --> 00:04:53,340 Oh, so sorry. 134 00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,375 It's the boss. 135 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,282 Hey. 136 00:04:57,283 --> 00:04:58,583 Hi. I'm on my way home. 137 00:04:58,618 --> 00:05:00,385 I've been calling Haley, but nobody's answering. 138 00:05:00,419 --> 00:05:01,386 Is everything okay there? 139 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,488 Everything here is great. 140 00:05:03,522 --> 00:05:05,668 Oh, thank God. Did you put the chair out front? 141 00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:06,836 Not yet. 142 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,471 Honey, you're gonna miss the trash pickup. 143 00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:09,989 Don't worry. If they don't take it, someone else will. 144 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:10,957 Who is gonna pick up 145 00:05:10,991 --> 00:05:12,575 that ratty chair off our lawn? 146 00:05:12,593 --> 00:05:14,477 Are you kidding? It's in great shape. 147 00:05:14,511 --> 00:05:16,746 Super cozy. People are always commenting on it. 148 00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:19,394 Trust me, it'll be gone by the end of the day. 149 00:05:19,395 --> 00:05:20,666 Please, just do it now. 150 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:21,716 I can't. 151 00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,000 I'm so sorry. 152 00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,018 When I'm done with these clients, 153 00:05:24,053 --> 00:05:25,503 I'll call Luke and Leon. 154 00:05:25,538 --> 00:05:27,205 I know I can talk them into it. 155 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,090 We are not losing this house to Luke and Leon. 156 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,959 What do you mean, "call Luke and Leon"? 157 00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:31,943 Aren't you at home? 158 00:05:31,977 --> 00:05:34,066 No, I left right before you did. 159 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,768 Phil, the house... the--the kids... 160 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,170 Oh, God, the squirrel. 161 00:05:38,682 --> 00:05:40,516 Hello? 162 00:05:41,568 --> 00:05:43,052 We'll take it. 163 00:05:43,087 --> 00:05:44,620 Oh! 164 00:05:44,655 --> 00:05:46,322 Commission... 165 00:05:46,356 --> 00:05:48,124 Accomplished. 166 00:05:49,877 --> 00:05:51,994 So how great is your life right now, huh? 167 00:05:52,029 --> 00:05:54,330 A new house, a new baby, 168 00:05:54,364 --> 00:05:56,398 Stefan's Propecia's kicking in. 169 00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:57,956 Ooh. 170 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,675 That's him. He's on his way. 171 00:05:59,709 --> 00:06:01,026 He texted "OMW." 172 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:01,994 We try to keep our texts short 173 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,128 when we're driving with the baby. 174 00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:05,481 Oh, well, what wonderful parents you are. 175 00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:07,984 You guys hate us a little bit, don't you? 176 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:09,919 - No. God, no. - Just a little. 177 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,319 Have you thought about surrogacy? 178 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,717 At least you'd be making a baby 179 00:06:12,718 --> 00:06:14,362 instead of waiting around for some pregnant mom 180 00:06:14,363 --> 00:06:15,497 to maybe pick you. 181 00:06:15,531 --> 00:06:16,682 Well, we considered it, 182 00:06:16,683 --> 00:06:18,990 but how do you decide which one will-- Where's Lily? 183 00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:20,624 Sleeping. Ice the cupcake. 184 00:06:20,658 --> 00:06:22,259 That you couldn't say in front of Lily? 185 00:06:22,293 --> 00:06:24,261 - Well, then, she'd want a cupcake. - Yeah, well... 186 00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:25,896 But that's the beauty of the swirl. 187 00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:26,896 The swirl? 188 00:06:26,914 --> 00:06:28,739 You both donate, they mix it up, 189 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:29,757 fertilize the egg. 190 00:06:29,791 --> 00:06:31,613 You never know who the father is. 191 00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:34,923 Ooh. That's Stefan. 192 00:06:36,075 --> 00:06:38,140 Yeah, maybe we should think about this swirl. 193 00:06:38,141 --> 00:06:40,126 Well, I-I didn't think surrogacy was for us. 194 00:06:40,177 --> 00:06:41,910 But, you know, 'cause one of us would feel left out. 195 00:06:41,928 --> 00:06:43,929 Yeah, but if you don't know whose it is... 196 00:06:43,964 --> 00:06:45,463 Sorry we're late. 197 00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:48,601 Guys, meet Roco. 198 00:06:48,602 --> 00:06:51,441 Roco or cocoa? 199 00:06:53,908 --> 00:06:54,874 Look at him out there. 200 00:06:54,909 --> 00:06:57,048 Oh, ay. This is so exciting. 201 00:07:00,798 --> 00:07:02,081 Go ahead! Attaboy! 202 00:07:02,149 --> 00:07:04,250 - Go! Go ahead! Attaboy! - Go, Manny! Run! 203 00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:07,487 I knew Gloria would find out I lied about those tickets. 204 00:07:07,521 --> 00:07:09,455 But I figured when she saw Manny out there, 205 00:07:09,473 --> 00:07:11,224 playing with all those other kids, 206 00:07:11,258 --> 00:07:13,693 she'd thank me. 207 00:07:13,727 --> 00:07:15,428 That's what I figured. 208 00:07:15,462 --> 00:07:16,429 Go! Go! 209 00:07:16,463 --> 00:07:17,700 What the hell's he doing? 210 00:07:17,709 --> 00:07:19,395 Run, Manny! Run! 211 00:07:19,396 --> 00:07:21,052 Mom! Number 100! 212 00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:22,907 Now we have the lucky-- Oh! 213 00:07:35,298 --> 00:07:36,248 Oh, thank God. 214 00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:37,233 Nobody's dead. 215 00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,614 Or... we're all dead. 216 00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:41,286 How many plates did we lose? 217 00:07:41,304 --> 00:07:43,481 None. Luke and Haley used cookie sheets 218 00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:44,916 to clear a path through the marbles for me. 219 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:45,883 Where are the marbles? 220 00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:47,337 Right here. 221 00:07:47,338 --> 00:07:47,907 Oh, Haley! 222 00:07:47,908 --> 00:07:50,298 I put glue on them so it doesn't happen again. 223 00:07:50,299 --> 00:07:51,366 What about the chair? 224 00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:53,435 Leon and I rolled it outside on some skateboards. 225 00:07:53,469 --> 00:07:54,935 Oh. 226 00:07:54,936 --> 00:07:56,020 The squirrel? 227 00:07:56,071 --> 00:07:58,522 You think I was going to let that happen? 228 00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:01,452 These kids are going to survive. 229 00:08:01,453 --> 00:08:04,174 They are the best of me and Phil. 230 00:08:04,175 --> 00:08:07,344 Luke using the skateboards, Haley gluing the marbles-- 231 00:08:07,378 --> 00:08:09,046 that is pure Phil. 232 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,281 Alex keeping everyone in line-- 233 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,478 pure me. 234 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,888 Sometimes I worry no one's gonna like Alex. 235 00:08:21,392 --> 00:08:22,359 There you go, buddy. 236 00:08:22,393 --> 00:08:23,277 Thank you. 237 00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:25,565 Uh... 238 00:08:25,566 --> 00:08:27,084 What? You need anything? I'll get it. 239 00:08:27,118 --> 00:08:28,952 Steak sauce, but it's okay. 240 00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:30,827 It's probably good for me to move around. 241 00:08:35,110 --> 00:08:38,262 Oh, Jay, it's so nice to see you take care of him like that. 242 00:08:38,296 --> 00:08:40,014 Why are you surprised? He's our kid. 243 00:08:40,065 --> 00:08:42,298 We take care of each other in this family. 244 00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:45,121 I want to kill you. 245 00:08:45,122 --> 00:08:46,994 Wild guess-- Margo? 246 00:08:46,995 --> 00:08:48,103 Let me explain. 247 00:08:48,104 --> 00:08:50,221 There is no excuse. 248 00:08:50,272 --> 00:08:52,774 This is something private. I'm gonna get outta here. 249 00:08:52,808 --> 00:08:54,876 So that's why you were being so nice. 250 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,144 You lied to my friend... 251 00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:58,413 You made Manny play the American football... 252 00:08:58,447 --> 00:09:01,466 It is your fault that he got estampeded. 253 00:09:02,029 --> 00:09:03,575 Or is it your fault? 254 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,443 He stopped to pick up a penny, for God's sake. 255 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,629 Be careful what you say, Jay. 256 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,479 You're skating on thin eggshells right now. 257 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,926 I tried to get him out there 258 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:13,095 with kids his own age... 259 00:09:13,129 --> 00:09:14,463 Which is what he should be doing... 260 00:09:14,481 --> 00:09:16,398 And not spending another afternoon with his mommy. 261 00:09:16,416 --> 00:09:18,284 If you have a problem with the way Manny's being raised, 262 00:09:18,335 --> 00:09:19,970 you talk to me! 263 00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:21,853 - I am. - I don't wanna hear it! 264 00:09:29,051 --> 00:09:30,392 Phil, you really didn't have to do this. 265 00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,510 I sold a house today because of you two. 266 00:09:32,511 --> 00:09:34,085 The least I can do is buy you dinner. 267 00:09:34,086 --> 00:09:35,769 I saw that house. It is gorgeous. 268 00:09:35,803 --> 00:09:37,304 - I know. - Yes, we're real happy for them. 269 00:09:37,338 --> 00:09:38,488 They showed me a picture of the baby. 270 00:09:38,523 --> 00:09:40,040 How adorable is that little guy? 271 00:09:40,091 --> 00:09:42,385 Yes, we're real happy for them. 272 00:09:42,386 --> 00:09:44,458 Okay, you might wanna slow down there. 273 00:09:45,389 --> 00:09:46,288 What? I'm playing a new drinking game. 274 00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:48,757 It's called "every time I'm depressed, I take a drink." 275 00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:49,976 That game exists. 276 00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:51,794 It's called alcoholism. 277 00:09:52,456 --> 00:09:53,952 Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. I'm... 278 00:09:53,953 --> 00:09:56,187 I'm wallowing, and it's not cute. 279 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,221 To happier things. 280 00:09:57,256 --> 00:09:58,389 - Yes. - To happier things. 281 00:09:58,407 --> 00:10:00,091 - Happier things, yes. - There you go. 282 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,036 I remember the first few drinks... 283 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:06,740 And, um, after that, the night's just bits and pieces. 284 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,792 I wanna do something I never do-- 285 00:10:08,826 --> 00:10:10,543 brag about my kids. 286 00:10:10,578 --> 00:10:12,829 Today, they were resourceful, 287 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,265 they were responsible, they... 288 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:16,850 Put 40% down. 289 00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,518 It was worth showing the house five times 290 00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:19,619 and waiting... 291 00:10:19,654 --> 00:10:21,338 Almost a year. 292 00:10:21,389 --> 00:10:23,490 Seriously! Who do you have to... 293 00:10:23,524 --> 00:10:24,891 Blow. That's really hot. 294 00:10:24,909 --> 00:10:26,726 Why don't you let it cool down? Try some of the... 295 00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:28,078 Mexican! 296 00:10:28,112 --> 00:10:31,366 The baby is clearly Mexican! So, you know, the swirl is out. 297 00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:34,302 Ugh. It's enough to make you lose... 298 00:10:34,336 --> 00:10:35,303 Track. 299 00:10:35,337 --> 00:10:37,272 Is this my fourth drink? 300 00:10:37,306 --> 00:10:38,523 It's my fourth. 301 00:10:38,574 --> 00:10:40,658 I said "four" twice, didn't I? 302 00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:41,960 I did, didn't I? 303 00:10:42,011 --> 00:10:44,596 I think we're gonna need four cabs... 304 00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:47,497 Two! Two! You made me! 305 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:52,084 I-I vaguely remember... someone crying? 306 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:53,147 If we ever did surrogacy, 307 00:10:53,148 --> 00:10:54,533 I would want you to be the donor. 308 00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,418 - Mnh-mnh! - You're so smart, you're so handsome. 309 00:10:56,452 --> 00:10:58,003 Oh, stop it! It should be you! 310 00:10:58,037 --> 00:11:01,022 - You're so fun! You're so talented! - Okay. 311 00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:03,909 It's not fair. I love you both so much. 312 00:11:05,036 --> 00:11:07,493 If you could have a baby that was a mix of the two of you, 313 00:11:07,494 --> 00:11:09,211 I would love that baby so much. 314 00:11:09,262 --> 00:11:11,313 Aw, that is so sweet. 315 00:11:11,347 --> 00:11:14,232 I meant it. That is so sweet. 316 00:11:14,904 --> 00:11:17,273 Oh, my God. You guys, we could do this. 317 00:11:17,274 --> 00:11:18,458 We could do this. 318 00:11:18,492 --> 00:11:20,176 We could make a baby 319 00:11:20,211 --> 00:11:23,108 that is half Tucker and half Pritchett. 320 00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:25,521 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 321 00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:26,522 Yeah. 322 00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,123 Cloning? 323 00:11:28,157 --> 00:11:29,537 No. No. 324 00:11:29,538 --> 00:11:31,071 I'm saying... 325 00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:32,256 I give the egg. 326 00:11:32,307 --> 00:11:33,808 Oh! Yeah. 327 00:11:33,842 --> 00:11:35,526 I give the egg. That's the pritchett side. 328 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,629 And then, Cam, you're the father, right? 329 00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,598 And then we just, like, mix it 330 00:11:40,649 --> 00:11:43,517 and put it in a, like, a surrogate lady thing, 331 00:11:43,551 --> 00:11:46,186 and then bang! We have a baby. 332 00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:48,420 Oh. Are--are you serious? 333 00:11:48,455 --> 00:11:49,655 You would do that? 334 00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:51,240 I would be honored. 335 00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:55,294 You guys, you guys, if there's one thing I have learned today, 336 00:11:55,328 --> 00:11:57,763 it's the pleasure of looking at your children, 337 00:11:57,797 --> 00:12:00,749 and seeing both-- both of you in there. 338 00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:03,135 And I want you to have that experience. Yeah. 339 00:12:03,169 --> 00:12:05,137 - Yeah. - We want that. 340 00:12:05,171 --> 00:12:06,805 And something else... 341 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,525 Guys, I make really good babies. 342 00:12:09,576 --> 00:12:11,943 Yes. I have, like, magic eggs or something. 343 00:12:11,961 --> 00:12:13,178 - Yes! - They're golden. 344 00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:15,214 Oh, gosh. Oh, Phil, 345 00:12:15,248 --> 00:12:17,249 I don't--what do-- what do you say about this? 346 00:12:17,283 --> 00:12:18,967 I think we're all having a baby! 347 00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:20,452 Aah! Table hug! 348 00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:22,688 Oh! Aah! 349 00:12:23,186 --> 00:12:26,271 Sweet potato fries! 350 00:12:30,305 --> 00:12:32,306 - What have I done? - I know. 351 00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:33,407 Oh. 352 00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:37,754 What was I thinking? 353 00:12:37,789 --> 00:12:40,303 I-I-I just get drunk and I bring a baby into the world? 354 00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:42,607 That would be 4 for 4. 355 00:12:42,608 --> 00:12:43,879 I can't go through with it. 356 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,439 Don't panic. You haven't donated anything yet. 357 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,941 Besides, what are the chances your eggs even work? 358 00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,043 What are the chances we can pretend I never said that? 359 00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:53,531 It's weird. It's my brother. 360 00:12:53,532 --> 00:12:55,384 And then there would be this baby over there 361 00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,168 that's my baby, but it's not my baby... 362 00:12:57,186 --> 00:12:58,971 That actually sounds good. Just say that. 363 00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:01,340 We're gonna see him for brunch in two hours over at your dad's. 364 00:13:01,374 --> 00:13:03,942 Ooh. That seems... soon 365 00:13:03,977 --> 00:13:05,761 and--and hard. 366 00:13:06,772 --> 00:13:10,425 What if... what if I blame it on you? 367 00:13:10,459 --> 00:13:12,404 What if we say that you're not okay with it? 368 00:13:12,405 --> 00:13:13,791 - No! - Why? 369 00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:16,261 Are you really okay with another man fertilizing your wife's egg? 370 00:13:17,266 --> 00:13:18,850 Of course not! That's creepy. 371 00:13:18,884 --> 00:13:21,431 - Yes. - Plus, what if you and Cam make a better baby than we did? 372 00:13:21,432 --> 00:13:24,911 It's settled. Phil says "no." 373 00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:26,196 Like they're really gonna believe 374 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:27,330 that I overruled you? 375 00:13:27,365 --> 00:13:28,298 - Right. - Come on. 376 00:13:28,332 --> 00:13:30,867 Mm. They're gonna be crushed. 377 00:13:30,902 --> 00:13:33,805 They've waited so long for this baby. 378 00:13:33,806 --> 00:13:36,000 Maybe they're having second thoughts, too. 379 00:13:37,408 --> 00:13:40,160 Look--this is what my baby with Claire would look like. 380 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,645 What is this? What... 381 00:13:41,663 --> 00:13:43,330 Okay, well, I found a web site 382 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,115 where couples can upload pictures... 383 00:13:45,149 --> 00:13:47,451 - Oh. - And then it shows them what their baby would look like. 384 00:13:48,341 --> 00:13:50,976 This is... Gloria and I. 385 00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:52,678 Couldn't resist. 386 00:13:52,712 --> 00:13:53,644 Wow. That-- 387 00:13:53,645 --> 00:13:55,345 that looks exactly like Manny. 388 00:13:55,379 --> 00:13:57,824 Like--like weirdly so. 389 00:13:57,825 --> 00:13:59,409 What--what's this other picture? 390 00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:00,849 Don't be jealous. 391 00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:02,651 But this... 392 00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:04,954 Is me and Justin Timberlake. 393 00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:07,791 Cam, we have a problem. 394 00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:09,627 Oh, what? You can talk about Ryan Gosling all day, 395 00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:10,969 - but the moment I say something-- - No, no, no, 396 00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,817 about this baby. I... 397 00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:15,452 I don't think I can do it. 398 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,788 What--why? Why--it's perfect! 399 00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:20,424 It's our chance to have a baby that's part me, part you! 400 00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,493 No, no! It's part you and part Claire. 401 00:14:22,527 --> 00:14:23,727 I'm nowhere in there. 402 00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:24,995 And it's not like I can pretend. 403 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,264 It's--she's not some egg donor that we don't know. 404 00:14:27,298 --> 00:14:28,232 It's Claire. 405 00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:30,134 You know, we see her all the time. 406 00:14:30,168 --> 00:14:31,993 And what are we supposed to tell the baby? 407 00:14:31,994 --> 00:14:33,994 "Say hi to your aunt mommy!" 408 00:14:34,028 --> 00:14:36,296 - Adorable. - No, not adorable. 409 00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:37,808 Appalachian. 410 00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,750 Okay, I'm--I'm sorry, Cam. 411 00:14:43,473 --> 00:14:46,041 Jay says that I'm smothering Manny... 412 00:14:46,076 --> 00:14:48,210 - Mm-hmm. - But I'm just enjoying him. 413 00:14:48,245 --> 00:14:51,113 I mean, they're only gonna be boys for a short time. 414 00:14:51,147 --> 00:14:54,183 Best time ever in this house! 415 00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:55,419 I'm uncomfortable with this, Phil. 416 00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:57,636 The manual specifically says "no towing." 417 00:14:57,671 --> 00:14:59,438 There are two types of people in this world-- 418 00:14:59,472 --> 00:15:00,906 people who follow the manual, 419 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:02,875 and people who stick it to the manual. 420 00:15:02,893 --> 00:15:04,243 You... are hurt. 421 00:15:05,145 --> 00:15:06,228 Hi! 422 00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:07,580 Manny, what happened? 423 00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:08,581 Football injury. 424 00:15:08,615 --> 00:15:10,905 My mom will yell you all about it. 425 00:15:10,906 --> 00:15:12,823 Hola, Lily! 426 00:15:12,858 --> 00:15:16,027 Does my little princess want a cookie? 427 00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,195 Oh, well, you know, maybe just one. 428 00:15:17,229 --> 00:15:18,963 She's already had her sugar limit for today. 429 00:15:18,997 --> 00:15:20,164 How can you tell? 430 00:15:20,199 --> 00:15:21,398 - Aah! - Ay! 431 00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:23,417 Okay, Lily. 432 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:24,854 Hey. 433 00:15:24,855 --> 00:15:27,305 - Hey, you two. - Hey! 434 00:15:27,339 --> 00:15:28,773 So where-- oh, where are the kids? 435 00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:30,608 Oh, Haley's driving them over separately. 436 00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:32,446 - Oh. - Oh! Big girl now. 437 00:15:33,245 --> 00:15:34,345 - That's great. - Yeah. 438 00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:36,631 So that was... so fun last night. 439 00:15:36,665 --> 00:15:38,366 - So fun. - Yeah, we had a great night. 440 00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:41,612 - Yeah. - Yes. 441 00:15:41,613 --> 00:15:42,813 We should-- 442 00:15:42,831 --> 00:15:44,051 Jinx! 443 00:15:44,532 --> 00:15:45,949 Yeah, we're going this way, so... 444 00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:47,301 - This should do for 30. - Yeah. - We'll see you in a bit. 445 00:15:50,657 --> 00:15:51,958 I cannot tell them. 446 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,143 I cannot break their hearts. 447 00:15:54,178 --> 00:15:55,628 So you're gonna have Cam's baby 448 00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:57,296 just to keep things from being weird? 449 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,364 Um, what? 450 00:15:58,382 --> 00:15:59,999 You and Uncle Cam are having a baby? 451 00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,401 Kids, shh. 452 00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:03,319 - There was a discussion about the possibility... - Mm-hmm. 453 00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:04,537 Of your mom donating an egg... 454 00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:06,305 so that the guys could have a baby. 455 00:16:06,339 --> 00:16:08,174 But we decided it was not a good idea. 456 00:16:08,208 --> 00:16:09,959 Why? Because Lily's such a mess? 457 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,778 For a lot of reasons. 458 00:16:11,812 --> 00:16:15,281 - They have-- - But we can agree that she's a disastrous human being? 459 00:16:15,282 --> 00:16:17,065 I think it's a great idea. 460 00:16:17,066 --> 00:16:20,518 Yeah. It's a really beautiful offer, mom. I'm impressed. 461 00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:24,072 Oh, my God. Cam, they told the kids already, 462 00:16:24,073 --> 00:16:26,218 and they seem to be totally into it. 463 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,653 All right, is it just me? 464 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,796 Am I the only one that thinks this is weird? 465 00:16:28,797 --> 00:16:31,866 Maybe it's not weird. Maybe we're pioneers. 466 00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,153 Mm, no we're hardly pioneers. 467 00:16:33,154 --> 00:16:34,455 You have three different hair dryers 468 00:16:34,489 --> 00:16:35,287 for different types of weather. 469 00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:37,665 Maybe it's just gonna take some time to get used to the idea. 470 00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,323 - What idea? - Oh. No. 471 00:16:39,324 --> 00:16:40,874 Um, well, Jay... 472 00:16:40,908 --> 00:16:42,142 - Cam. - Claire has-- 473 00:16:42,176 --> 00:16:43,843 No. I-I-I just don't think 474 00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:45,779 my dad's really ready for this conversation. So... 475 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,848 Oh, stop acting like I'm some stodgy old coot. I've grown. 476 00:16:48,866 --> 00:16:49,916 Okay. 477 00:16:49,951 --> 00:16:52,486 Um, Jay, Claire has, um, offered 478 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,187 to give us one of her eggs 479 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,758 so we can have a baby that's half Pritchett, half Tucker. 480 00:16:57,792 --> 00:17:00,348 That's unnatural. I'm against it. 481 00:17:00,349 --> 00:17:04,237 Oh, surprise, surprise. Jay is against something. 482 00:17:04,238 --> 00:17:06,455 Cam and Claire wanna have a baby together. 483 00:17:06,473 --> 00:17:07,673 Ugh! 484 00:17:07,724 --> 00:17:09,030 You're not gonna do that. 485 00:17:09,031 --> 00:17:10,613 It's not your decision, dad. 486 00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:11,580 You're not thinking straight. 487 00:17:11,581 --> 00:17:13,942 And you're not in charge. Okay, Claire and I are adults. 488 00:17:13,943 --> 00:17:16,961 If--if we want this to happen, it--it's gonna happen. 489 00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,479 So much for second thoughts. 490 00:17:18,514 --> 00:17:20,631 Young lady, I need to have a talk with you. 491 00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:23,217 - I don't... now? - No. 492 00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:26,137 You don't get to tell everyone how to live their lives, 493 00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:29,073 that boys cannot spend time with their mommies 494 00:17:29,107 --> 00:17:31,926 or that brothers and sisters can't make babies. 495 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,994 - So you're all for this? - No. 496 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,359 It's a freak show, but it's their freak show. 497 00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:38,933 So this is happening again? 498 00:17:38,967 --> 00:17:40,550 Well, I'm not gonna not do it 499 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,152 'cause my dad thinks I shouldn't. 500 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,686 You know, I'm not following. 501 00:17:43,721 --> 00:17:44,988 We're not doing it 'cause I don't want to do it. 502 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,020 What we're not doing 503 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:48,456 is not doing it 'cause he doesn't want us to do it. 504 00:17:48,457 --> 00:17:50,057 Just say baby or no baby. 505 00:17:50,091 --> 00:17:52,493 Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? 506 00:17:52,527 --> 00:17:54,378 Now we have to inbreed. 507 00:17:54,429 --> 00:17:57,364 Okay, dad, it's not technically inbreeding. It's, um... 508 00:17:57,399 --> 00:18:01,163 For the record, I think what my mom is doing is very brave. 509 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,008 I like it. 510 00:18:02,009 --> 00:18:03,777 I've always kind of wanted a half-brother, half-cousin. 511 00:18:03,812 --> 00:18:05,543 Really? "Always"? 512 00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:07,481 Well, I mean, if you think about it... 513 00:18:17,576 --> 00:18:19,477 Oh, wow. 514 00:18:19,511 --> 00:18:21,632 When was the last time we talked under a table? 515 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:22,983 Dad and Gloria's wedding reception. 516 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,167 Oh, yeah. 517 00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:26,702 Um, mm... 518 00:18:26,736 --> 00:18:28,590 I love you. You know that... 519 00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:29,691 But I can't do this. 520 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,042 No, no, neither can I! 521 00:18:31,093 --> 00:18:32,083 Really? Yeah. 522 00:18:32,084 --> 00:18:34,419 Are you serious? You can't--oh, God. 523 00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:35,621 I'm so relieved. I'm sorry. 524 00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:37,039 I-I-I... ugh. 525 00:18:37,073 --> 00:18:39,491 I am so sorry I led us down this road. 526 00:18:39,526 --> 00:18:40,859 No, no. No, Claire, don't be. Don't be. 527 00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:44,098 It was--it was generous and thoughtful, just like you. 528 00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:46,827 How could I not want those qualities in my child? 529 00:18:46,828 --> 00:18:48,262 Ohh. 530 00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:49,413 Oh, come here. 531 00:18:49,813 --> 00:18:51,159 So this is really happening? 532 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,592 - Ah. - What if it is, dad? 533 00:18:52,627 --> 00:18:53,727 Yeah. What if we love each other, 534 00:18:53,761 --> 00:18:54,511 and this is a beautiful thing? 535 00:18:54,512 --> 00:18:55,980 - Okay, it's our decision. It's not yours. - Yeah. 536 00:18:56,014 --> 00:18:58,949 So baby? No baby? 537 00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:02,569 - No. - Mnh-mnh. 538 00:19:05,671 --> 00:19:06,217 You okay? 539 00:19:06,218 --> 00:19:07,335 Oh, yeah. I'm fine. 540 00:19:07,386 --> 00:19:09,004 Mm, I know it's been hard on you. 541 00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:11,446 Hey, what if we went out for a nice dinner tonight? 542 00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:12,864 Oh, that'd be fun. Should I call the sitter? 543 00:19:12,898 --> 00:19:14,298 Yeah. Oh, you know what I was thinking today? 544 00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:15,466 What about Luke? 545 00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:16,668 Oh, he's so good with her, 546 00:19:16,702 --> 00:19:18,336 the way he looks at her... 547 00:19:18,887 --> 00:19:20,171 My God, Cam. 548 00:19:20,189 --> 00:19:22,453 Oh, look, she's organizing her things. 549 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,888 - Look at how she's dressed. - Oh! 550 00:19:26,191 --> 00:19:29,045 We didn't make her, but she sure is us. 551 00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:31,597 Hey, Lily, honey, it might make more sense with the shoes... 552 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:33,149 - Mitchell. - Because... 553 00:19:34,818 --> 00:19:36,168 I like what she did with the dolls-- 554 00:19:36,203 --> 00:19:40,773 - Play as you will. Play as you will. - It's nice. 555 00:19:41,922 --> 00:19:43,374 The big one, remember? 556 00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:44,842 One of the first ones we found. 557 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:46,544 It was at the bottom of the gutter in the street. 558 00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:47,271 Ay, yes. 559 00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:50,758 We put the gum at the bottom of your walking stick. 560 00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,677 Ay, look at this one-- the green one, 561 00:19:52,728 --> 00:19:55,330 the one we found at the floor of my taxi. 562 00:19:55,364 --> 00:19:57,248 - Your taxi? - Yes. 563 00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,384 Before I had somebody running my life for me, 564 00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:01,636 I used to drive a taxi at night. 565 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:04,172 Manny would sleep in the seat next to me. 566 00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:06,140 One time, I had to hit the brakes so hard 567 00:20:06,175 --> 00:20:08,943 that he fell into the floor and he found the penny. 568 00:20:08,978 --> 00:20:11,112 Pretty lucky, huh? 569 00:20:11,146 --> 00:20:13,754 Eight years. I can't believe we're finally done. 570 00:20:15,555 --> 00:20:16,967 Me, either. 571 00:20:16,968 --> 00:20:19,897 Come. Let's go get your lottery ticket. 572 00:20:26,545 --> 00:20:27,712 - Gloria. - Hmm? 573 00:20:27,746 --> 00:20:28,979 I think you made a mistake here. 574 00:20:28,998 --> 00:20:30,581 What did I do now? 575 00:20:30,616 --> 00:20:33,384 I counted these, and you've only got 96 pennies. 576 00:20:33,419 --> 00:20:34,452 Are you sure? 577 00:20:35,081 --> 00:20:36,746 Afraid so. 578 00:20:37,058 --> 00:20:39,543 I guess you're gonna have to keep lookin'. 579 00:20:39,577 --> 00:20:41,578 Dang it! I counted those. 580 00:20:41,629 --> 00:20:43,623 See for yourself. 581 00:20:51,768 --> 00:20:53,959 And now we upload your picture. 582 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,008 - This is fun. This is fun. - Yeah. 583 00:20:56,009 --> 00:20:57,260 And in just a few short moments, 584 00:20:57,294 --> 00:20:59,128 thanks to the magic of technology... 585 00:20:59,146 --> 00:21:00,313 We'll know what our baby actually looks-- 586 00:21:00,347 --> 00:21:02,518 - Oh! No! - What happened? What is that? 587 00:21:02,519 --> 00:21:04,053 Did you put one of us in upside-down? 588 00:21:04,087 --> 00:21:05,237 No! That's actually-- 589 00:21:05,288 --> 00:21:06,705 Okay, I-I don't want to see this anymore. 590 00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:07,723 Ohh. Turn it off. 591 00:21:07,757 --> 00:21:08,857 Oh, it's not turning off. 592 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:10,626 Well, throw something over it! That--oh, God! 593 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,928 Yeah, well, we played God, and look what we brought forth. 594 00:21:12,963 --> 00:21:15,264 Daddies, what are you looking at? Aah! 595 00:21:15,298 --> 00:21:16,710 Oh! 596 00:21:18,535 --> 00:21:19,735 Maybe it wasn't that bad. 597 00:21:19,769 --> 00:21:21,253 No, no, it's possible that we overreacted. 598 00:21:21,304 --> 00:21:23,839 Yeah. Maybe our expectations were just a little bit too high. 599 00:21:23,873 --> 00:21:25,541 That little guy had some cute features. Huh? 600 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:28,427 - Of course he did. It's us. It can't be that bad. - Yeah. 601 00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:29,661 - Let's just take-- - Ahhh! 602 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:34,244 Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com