1 00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,990 Ooh! Individual frittatas! 2 00:00:04,991 --> 00:00:06,799 What a treat. You're a lucky man, Phil. 3 00:00:06,994 --> 00:00:08,517 - I'm always saying, I'm... - Phil. 4 00:00:08,518 --> 00:00:10,209 - Sorry. - You left the milk out again. 5 00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:11,158 Oh. Mmm. 6 00:00:11,159 --> 00:00:12,887 I may have to take one of these little guys home. 7 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,551 Claire, did you ever find that tupperware I lent you? 8 00:00:14,552 --> 00:00:16,612 Sweetie, for the hundredth time, 9 00:00:16,613 --> 00:00:18,262 I gave it back to you, remember? 10 00:00:18,263 --> 00:00:19,644 I remember you telling me a hundred times, 11 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,735 yet my pea soup is in baggies. 12 00:00:21,736 --> 00:00:23,170 Did you check your car? 13 00:00:23,171 --> 00:00:24,198 In the... 14 00:00:24,199 --> 00:00:24,814 Trunk. 15 00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:26,140 Because that's where you found that thing 16 00:00:26,141 --> 00:00:28,134 that you thought that you gave me long time ago, 17 00:00:28,135 --> 00:00:29,952 - the... the... - Pizza cutter. 18 00:00:30,152 --> 00:00:30,855 Good, give me another one. 19 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:33,442 - Yes, I was wrong that time. I-- - It's a piece of plastic. 20 00:00:33,443 --> 00:00:34,561 You're ruining brunch. 21 00:00:34,562 --> 00:00:35,517 Don't sweat it, Cam. 22 00:00:35,518 --> 00:00:36,887 I forget things all the time. 23 00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:38,819 Like I can never remember the name 24 00:00:38,885 --> 00:00:41,543 of that weather guy that I liked. Uh... 25 00:00:41,544 --> 00:00:43,296 - Thunder something. - Stormy... 26 00:00:43,297 --> 00:00:45,320 Flash stormy? Ah, whatever the hell it is. 27 00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:47,320 - I don't know. - Mm, just eat your eggs, Jay. 28 00:00:47,321 --> 00:00:49,650 Yeah, just eat your eggs, Jay. 29 00:00:51,949 --> 00:00:54,110 - Oh, ho ho ho! - Grandpa got told! 30 00:00:54,327 --> 00:00:55,350 Look at them. 31 00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:57,845 They all think Lily's so great. 32 00:00:57,846 --> 00:00:59,167 The novelty will wear off. 33 00:00:59,168 --> 00:01:00,902 We used to be the cute ones. 34 00:01:00,903 --> 00:01:02,842 Now she gets all the attention. 35 00:01:02,869 --> 00:01:04,470 We need to take her down. 36 00:01:04,471 --> 00:01:05,953 And I should remember his name, too, 37 00:01:05,954 --> 00:01:08,491 because your mom and I got in a big fight over him. 38 00:01:08,492 --> 00:01:10,855 She was using the convertible, and I told her, 39 00:01:11,085 --> 00:01:15,319 "put the top up because it's supposed to rain tonight, according to..." 40 00:01:15,969 --> 00:01:17,797 P-p-p-partly Mccloudy? 41 00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,637 Whatever the hell his name is. Anyway... 42 00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:21,689 She didn't. Ruined the car. 43 00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:24,787 Well, not to be the one that always come to mom's defense... 44 00:01:25,036 --> 00:01:26,606 What? It was 20 years ago. 45 00:01:26,607 --> 00:01:28,880 - What, you think he's gonna ground you? - It was you? 46 00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:32,932 Yes. Yes, I left the top down, and I let mom take the fall. 47 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,338 And then they got divorced. 48 00:01:34,339 --> 00:01:35,792 - 12 years later. - I'm just saying. 49 00:01:35,793 --> 00:01:36,935 Ugh. You're ruining brunch. 50 00:01:36,936 --> 00:01:38,360 Relax. It was years ago. 51 00:01:38,361 --> 00:01:40,245 There's a statute of limitation on this stuff. 52 00:01:40,246 --> 00:01:41,841 In that case, I should probably let you know 53 00:01:41,842 --> 00:01:45,000 I let the top down to let out the cigarette smoke. 54 00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:47,150 Not-- not mine. Not mine. 55 00:01:47,151 --> 00:01:48,693 My-- my bad friend Eleanor. 56 00:01:48,694 --> 00:01:50,304 Eleanor being her boyfriend Allen. 57 00:01:50,305 --> 00:01:51,434 Statute of limitations. 58 00:01:51,435 --> 00:01:52,887 Oh, relax, it's okay. 59 00:01:52,888 --> 00:01:54,261 Remember when I told you 60 00:01:54,262 --> 00:01:56,536 that I couldn't get to your figure skating semifinal 61 00:01:56,537 --> 00:01:57,596 because I was stuck at work? 62 00:01:57,597 --> 00:01:58,126 Yeah. 63 00:01:58,127 --> 00:01:59,540 Well, by "stuck" I meant "drunk," 64 00:01:59,541 --> 00:02:01,494 and by "work" I meant "the golf course." 65 00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:05,131 - Wow. Dad! - Oh, no. I got one. I got one. 66 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,209 Remember that time we went golfing together, 67 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,989 - and you got a hole-in-one? - Yeah? 68 00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,453 You never got a hole-in-one. 69 00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:12,397 I got bored and I kicked it in the hole. 70 00:02:14,323 --> 00:02:15,915 This is fun. Here's a corker. 71 00:02:15,916 --> 00:02:18,518 They didn't used to label babies as carefully in hospitals, 72 00:02:18,519 --> 00:02:20,199 - so for two days-- - Not now, Phil. 73 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,738 What do you mean, you-- you kicked the ball in the hole? 74 00:02:21,739 --> 00:02:22,994 What, was it, like, on the edge? 75 00:02:22,995 --> 00:02:24,329 Yeah, it was on the edge of that, uh... 76 00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,567 - What? - That--that sandy thing. 77 00:02:25,568 --> 00:02:27,769 Gee, it's sure gonna be fun to face my friends today. 78 00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:28,955 Well, you don't have to tell them. 79 00:02:28,956 --> 00:02:30,723 They call me "ace," Mitch. 80 00:02:30,724 --> 00:02:33,184 I haven't paid for a lemonade down there in 20 years. 81 00:02:33,990 --> 00:02:35,210 - You're mad at me? - Mm. 82 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,739 Great, daddy. You ruined brunch. 83 00:02:41,071 --> 00:02:42,104 You did! 84 00:02:42,824 --> 00:02:44,198 This ends today. 85 00:02:54,953 --> 00:02:58,453 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 86 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,096 A little help here? 87 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,252 You can't expect me to focus 88 00:03:01,253 --> 00:03:03,626 when Miranda Cornell lives right down your street. 89 00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:06,484 She's like a dream wrapped in a wish poured into jeggings. 90 00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:07,983 Yeah, yeah, that's nice and all, 91 00:03:07,984 --> 00:03:10,265 but we got a trap to set. 92 00:03:10,266 --> 00:03:11,775 Are you sure this is going to work? 93 00:03:11,776 --> 00:03:14,558 Trust me. We'll use these cookies as bait. 94 00:03:14,656 --> 00:03:16,200 Lily's crazy for them. 95 00:03:16,415 --> 00:03:17,688 Asian metabolism. 96 00:03:17,689 --> 00:03:20,095 When she grabs them with her grubby little hands, 97 00:03:20,096 --> 00:03:21,594 off goes the trap. 98 00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:23,776 Boom-- Big puddle of milk. 99 00:03:23,777 --> 00:03:25,278 She'll get in so much trouble. 100 00:03:25,279 --> 00:03:26,648 My mom hates messes. 101 00:03:26,649 --> 00:03:28,124 I'm familiar with Claire. 102 00:03:28,969 --> 00:03:29,835 Lock... 103 00:03:29,836 --> 00:03:32,011 and loaded. 104 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,707 Mmm! These cookies are so good... 105 00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:38,153 And so easy to reach. 106 00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:39,843 Lily! 107 00:03:52,286 --> 00:03:54,568 - Oh, my God! Cam! - Oh! Ohh! 108 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:56,293 What happened? Are you okay? 109 00:03:57,055 --> 00:04:00,021 Oh! That milk... fell, and I must have slipped in it! 110 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,226 Did I leave that out again? I'm so sorry! 111 00:04:02,227 --> 00:04:04,130 Oh! My back! Ooh! My back! 112 00:04:04,131 --> 00:04:07,357 Can I give you a Swedish massage, accent optional? 113 00:04:07,454 --> 00:04:09,209 Oh! Oh, no, I just need to lie down. 114 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:11,064 Come on. Let's just get you over to the sofa. 115 00:04:12,679 --> 00:04:13,489 Do you think it would be offensive 116 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,328 if I asked our daughter to walk on my back? 117 00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:18,374 I'd say so. I just offered to give you a massage. 118 00:04:18,548 --> 00:04:21,351 Oh, no! You broke Beatrice. 119 00:04:21,352 --> 00:04:23,786 Now she can't feed the dolphins. 120 00:04:23,787 --> 00:04:25,051 What is she talking about? 121 00:04:25,052 --> 00:04:26,585 Oh, it's a "My sweet companion" doll. 122 00:04:26,586 --> 00:04:28,368 They all have these elaborate backstories. 123 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:31,115 Beatrice works with blind dolphins and models. 124 00:04:31,318 --> 00:04:33,206 There are blind models? 125 00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:36,498 That's so sad. They cannot see how pretty they are. 126 00:04:39,101 --> 00:04:40,625 Okay. Hold on. Here we go. 127 00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:42,556 - Give me some. Give me some. Give me some. - Oh! 128 00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,892 Let me buy Lily a new doll. It's my fault Cam fell. 129 00:04:46,893 --> 00:04:48,951 No, no need. Uh, the My sweet companion store 130 00:04:48,952 --> 00:04:51,087 actually has a hospital with an on-call doctor. 131 00:04:51,088 --> 00:04:53,049 Well, I can go. I'm taking the girls to the mall anyway. 132 00:04:53,050 --> 00:04:54,239 Oh, that'd be great. Yeah. 133 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,666 And don't worry. She has medical insurance. 134 00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,801 Yeah, and I think we've met our deductible for the year, 135 00:04:57,802 --> 00:04:58,966 so you should be good. 136 00:04:58,967 --> 00:04:59,619 Yeah. 137 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,593 Do you know what a doll is in my village? 138 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:03,522 An apple on a fork. 139 00:05:06,386 --> 00:05:09,188 I never really got dolls. Does that make me weird? 140 00:05:09,189 --> 00:05:10,153 It's on the list. 141 00:05:10,154 --> 00:05:11,021 You're not weird. 142 00:05:11,022 --> 00:05:13,182 You just kind of skipped the little girl stage. 143 00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,922 And jumped to the "I dare you to ring her doorbell" stage. 144 00:05:15,923 --> 00:05:18,443 The only stage you're ever going to jump on has a pole on it. 145 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:19,776 Hey, at least I have the body-- 146 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:20,929 Okay! Okay! 147 00:05:20,930 --> 00:05:23,454 We're gonna have to settle this dispute in court-- 148 00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:24,750 the food court. 149 00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:27,307 The honorable Judge Cinnabon presiding. 150 00:05:27,349 --> 00:05:28,720 The food court? That place smells 151 00:05:28,721 --> 00:05:30,585 like the inside of Luke's bicycle helmet. 152 00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:32,603 - I like the food court. - Me, too. 153 00:05:32,604 --> 00:05:34,726 Don't worry, girls. We're not gonna deprive ourselves 154 00:05:34,727 --> 00:05:36,962 just 'cause of Haley's aversion to food-- 155 00:05:38,794 --> 00:05:41,415 Oh. Oh, Haley's "aversion." 156 00:05:41,416 --> 00:05:42,958 I thought you said... 157 00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:44,739 Never mind. 158 00:05:50,895 --> 00:05:53,157 Okay, so after you have turned on the monitor 159 00:05:53,158 --> 00:05:54,686 and selected your input, 160 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,834 you can change the channel with this guy. 161 00:05:56,835 --> 00:05:59,207 But if you need to change the volume-- 162 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:00,329 You know what? I think I'm fine. 163 00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:01,388 Why don't you just go ahead? 164 00:06:01,389 --> 00:06:02,664 I know this sounds really confusing, 165 00:06:02,665 --> 00:06:05,085 but there's actually a very simple way to remember it. 166 00:06:05,086 --> 00:06:07,672 Input 1 is the cable box 167 00:06:07,673 --> 00:06:09,701 - cable box, ca-- - I think I'm just gonna take a nap. 168 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,366 Okay. I'm going to yoga. 169 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:13,879 Ay! That sounds like so much fun. 170 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,323 Oh, you should go with her, Gloria! 171 00:06:15,324 --> 00:06:16,795 Oh, we should definitely do that sometime. 172 00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:18,271 I would love it. Bye! 173 00:06:19,329 --> 00:06:22,026 Do you see how she gives me the cold shoulders? 174 00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:23,809 I don't even know why I try. 175 00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:25,872 - Ay. Sorry. - Oh, well, that's just Claire, you know? 176 00:06:25,873 --> 00:06:27,036 She's a Pritchett. 177 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,034 You gotta break through those walls. 178 00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:30,157 The sooner the better. 179 00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,191 You really think so? 180 00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:33,218 Yeah. Why don't you go? Now. 181 00:06:33,263 --> 00:06:34,656 Forge that friendship! 182 00:06:34,657 --> 00:06:37,125 Okay, I go. I have my gym bag in the car. 183 00:06:37,468 --> 00:06:38,613 Feel better! 184 00:06:38,614 --> 00:06:40,953 Okay, thank you! I'm just gonna lie here... 185 00:06:41,713 --> 00:06:43,234 Some ice on my back! 186 00:06:51,894 --> 00:06:54,377 I knew for a fact Claire never returned my tupperware, 187 00:06:54,378 --> 00:06:56,573 I just needed a few minutes alone to find it. 188 00:06:56,574 --> 00:06:57,640 And when I did, 189 00:06:57,841 --> 00:06:59,972 I'd never have to hear them snicker again, 190 00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:02,452 "Oh, silly Cam" or "forgetful Cam," 191 00:07:02,453 --> 00:07:05,598 because revenge is a dish best served cold. 192 00:07:05,645 --> 00:07:07,208 And even better, two days later 193 00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:09,053 out of 24-ounce microwave-friendly 194 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,937 burp-sealed pak-n-stor. 195 00:07:21,538 --> 00:07:23,816 Oh, hey! I thought you were going to the pharmacy. 196 00:07:23,817 --> 00:07:25,334 - I forgot my phone. - Oh. 197 00:07:26,631 --> 00:07:28,734 I think I'm just upset about this stupid thing with my dad. 198 00:07:28,735 --> 00:07:30,021 Well, sweetie, I'd love to hear about it 199 00:07:30,022 --> 00:07:31,754 when you come back with my heating pad from the pharmacy, 200 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,203 because I hurt my back, remember? 201 00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:35,556 I mean, did he overreact or what? 202 00:07:35,812 --> 00:07:37,279 It's just a game, right? 203 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,307 Well, unless there's something more to it. 204 00:07:40,518 --> 00:07:41,855 Maybe you should go talk to him. 205 00:07:41,856 --> 00:07:42,887 - Yeah. - Huh? 206 00:07:43,936 --> 00:07:45,347 Oh, I should have just kept my mouth shut. 207 00:07:45,348 --> 00:07:46,839 I mean, it was such a great day. 208 00:07:46,902 --> 00:07:48,705 After he thought he got that hole-in-one, 209 00:07:48,763 --> 00:07:51,748 he took us out to dinner. He bought me my first beer. 210 00:07:51,749 --> 00:07:53,164 Well, there you go. He's probably hurt 211 00:07:53,165 --> 00:07:55,830 because you marred a very special father-son experience. 212 00:07:55,881 --> 00:07:57,251 - You think? - Ya marred it. 213 00:07:57,695 --> 00:07:59,002 But you can fix it. 214 00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:00,793 He's down at the club right now. 215 00:08:00,950 --> 00:08:02,214 Go, Mitchell! 216 00:08:02,514 --> 00:08:03,831 Un-mar that memory! 217 00:08:03,832 --> 00:08:05,652 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 218 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,886 - Ow. - Sorry. 219 00:08:07,288 --> 00:08:08,328 Don't worry. I'll be back soon. 220 00:08:08,329 --> 00:08:09,473 Okay! I'll miss you! 221 00:08:09,474 --> 00:08:10,624 Call first. 222 00:08:18,242 --> 00:08:20,122 What were you thinking saying that in front of him? 223 00:08:20,123 --> 00:08:21,601 I'm sorry. It slipped out. 224 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,566 Besides, I figured he knew. Mom knows. 225 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:25,385 Only because she dragged it out of Dylan. 226 00:08:25,386 --> 00:08:28,344 And she promised not to tell dad until I left for college, 227 00:08:28,345 --> 00:08:30,830 which means he might have never found out. 228 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,914 Stop panicking. 229 00:08:32,915 --> 00:08:34,583 We don't even know for sure he heard what I said. 230 00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:36,282 Okay. Beatrice is with the nurse. 231 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,547 They'll call us. Shouldn't be too long. 232 00:08:37,548 --> 00:08:39,066 We can just wait until she's married. 233 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:41,127 Until she's... ready. 234 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,132 Which, apparently, everyone is these days. 235 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,111 Funny, I used to think it'd be years until everyone was ready, 236 00:08:45,112 --> 00:08:47,212 but I guess I was wrong. Wrong and naive. 237 00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,009 Surprise! 238 00:08:52,010 --> 00:08:54,115 Oh! Gloria. My God. 239 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:56,057 I came to do yoga with you. 240 00:08:56,058 --> 00:08:57,432 I wasn't expecting to see you here. 241 00:08:57,433 --> 00:08:59,112 Yeah, that's why I say "surprise!" 242 00:08:59,113 --> 00:09:01,670 Oh, yeah. This is awful, because I was just thinking 243 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,473 I might have to bail on yoga. 244 00:09:03,487 --> 00:09:05,314 I have the worst headache all of a sudden. 245 00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:06,929 Oh, but yoga is good for that, Claire. 246 00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:09,032 For the meditation, for the mmm... 247 00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:10,747 Yeah, yeah. It's just right now 248 00:09:10,748 --> 00:09:13,783 I wanna go lie down in a dark room and breathe. 249 00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:15,049 That sounds like yoga. 250 00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,555 I... I realize that. 251 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,414 Yes. 252 00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:19,643 - But still, I-I... should go. - Come on. 253 00:09:19,744 --> 00:09:21,786 I'm not gonna do the class by myself. 254 00:09:21,787 --> 00:09:24,033 Okay, so let's go and get massages. 255 00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:25,488 Or there's a nail salon there. 256 00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,250 Ooh, I would love to do that some other time, 257 00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:28,412 I really would. But right now 258 00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:31,154 I need to get home and lie down. You understand, right? 259 00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:32,497 - Of course. - Okay. 260 00:09:33,423 --> 00:09:34,435 You go! 261 00:09:35,726 --> 00:09:36,821 And lie. 262 00:09:39,762 --> 00:09:40,921 - You're better! - Oh! 263 00:09:40,922 --> 00:09:42,033 Barely. Barely, yeah. 264 00:09:42,034 --> 00:09:44,563 I was just getting something cold for my back. 265 00:09:44,564 --> 00:09:46,779 Gravy? Well, if it can save your mom's turkey, 266 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:47,844 it can save anything. 267 00:09:47,859 --> 00:09:49,660 I thought you were going to see your friend Miranda. 268 00:09:49,661 --> 00:09:51,040 This one chickened out. 269 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:53,084 For someone who says he likes girls so much, 270 00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:54,400 he sure is afraid of them. 271 00:09:54,401 --> 00:09:55,786 It's a dance, Luke. 272 00:09:55,787 --> 00:09:56,880 Chicken dance. 273 00:09:56,881 --> 00:10:00,348 Well, since you're back, what if I give you 20 bucks, 274 00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,962 and you guys... 275 00:10:02,729 --> 00:10:04,099 Go wash my car? 276 00:10:05,488 --> 00:10:07,971 Is that 20 bucks for each of us, or both of us? 277 00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:09,027 Both. 278 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,661 That's what I thought. 279 00:10:19,031 --> 00:10:19,978 Uh-oh, check it out. 280 00:10:19,979 --> 00:10:21,718 Ace is drooling over his plaque again. 281 00:10:21,719 --> 00:10:24,140 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't smell you idiots come in. 282 00:10:24,818 --> 00:10:25,845 Listen, I've been thinking, 283 00:10:25,846 --> 00:10:28,353 maybe it's time we retire the name "Ace." 284 00:10:28,354 --> 00:10:30,580 You mean the name you had printed on your golf cap? 285 00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,410 - And his robe. - You know, guys, about that-- 286 00:10:32,411 --> 00:10:34,837 remember how mad he got when I yanked that cap off his head 287 00:10:34,838 --> 00:10:35,859 and put it on? 288 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:36,830 You got to earn that! 289 00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:37,926 Yeah, yeah, well, I'm just glad 290 00:10:37,927 --> 00:10:40,166 one of those cheap hair plugs didn't get caught in it. 291 00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:42,073 Hey, for the millionth time, they're not plugs. 292 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:44,055 So what, your hair just came back when you turned 50? 293 00:10:44,056 --> 00:10:46,299 - Unlike your wife. - Hey, that was a blessing. 294 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,594 Otherwise, I wouldn't be taking out Natalie Hobbes tonight. 295 00:10:48,595 --> 00:10:50,318 Taking her out or doing her taxes? 296 00:10:50,319 --> 00:10:51,613 So I'm trying to find a way to come clean 297 00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:53,613 about the hole-in-one, when it occurs to me... 298 00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:55,330 Why? 299 00:10:55,978 --> 00:10:57,748 One idiot lies about his sex life, 300 00:10:57,807 --> 00:11:01,585 the other dumbbell has a Ferrari "in the shop" for years, 301 00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:04,972 and moron number three is a Hollywood stunt car driver 302 00:11:04,973 --> 00:11:08,249 who gets sick when he rides backwards in the golf cart. 303 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:10,818 So you ladies ready to tee off or what? 304 00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:13,256 - Yeah, just gotta settle up our tab. - I took care of it. 305 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,444 You said you were going to the restroom. 306 00:11:14,445 --> 00:11:16,658 Ah! Can't trust a word out of this guy's mouth. 307 00:11:16,659 --> 00:11:18,277 20 years we've been falling for this. 308 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,624 I-I'm sorry to interrupt, 309 00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,034 - but my dad never lied to you guys. - Mitchell... 310 00:11:22,035 --> 00:11:23,318 No, he didn't even know until today 311 00:11:23,319 --> 00:11:24,984 - that he never made the hole-in-one. - Okay. 312 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,943 But the fact that he couldn't live with himself 313 00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:27,957 when he found out, 314 00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,958 and he raced down here to confess to you, 315 00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:32,339 that just shows the kind of man he is. 316 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,743 He is a hole-in-one kind of man. 317 00:11:35,669 --> 00:11:37,365 You never got a hole-in-one? 318 00:11:37,366 --> 00:11:38,586 I didn't tell them. 319 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:42,709 So this is the gang. Introduce me. 320 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,940 - Ahh. - Score! 321 00:11:48,647 --> 00:11:50,720 It's not like me and Miranda are perfectly suited. 322 00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:52,293 For one thing, she likes bad boys. 323 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:53,258 That's just not me. 324 00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:55,087 I'm gonna turn on some music. 325 00:11:55,254 --> 00:11:56,149 I'm sorry. 326 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,085 I can't unlearn how to treat a lady. 327 00:11:58,140 --> 00:11:59,269 But where does that leave me? 328 00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:01,286 Waiting till I'm 40 when she looks me up on Facebook 329 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,867 after a failed first marriage? 330 00:12:02,868 --> 00:12:03,761 Okay. 331 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,216 What are you doing? 332 00:12:06,338 --> 00:12:08,384 I'm sick of hearing you whine about Miranda! 333 00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:10,643 - It's time to make her notice you! - But we can't! 334 00:12:10,644 --> 00:12:12,846 We got a full tank of gas, and she's right down the block. 335 00:12:12,905 --> 00:12:13,767 Now buckle up! 336 00:12:13,768 --> 00:12:15,737 - Are you crazy? - You tell me. 337 00:12:28,232 --> 00:12:29,352 Lily, what is this? 338 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,666 Don't you rather have a chemistry set or flash cards? 339 00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:34,787 She's pretty. 340 00:12:35,718 --> 00:12:38,038 No. No, she's dirty. Look. Look at the dirt. 341 00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:40,181 Let me wipe her off. 342 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:42,336 Fix that. 343 00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,232 One of her breeds is coming loose. Come here. 344 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:49,588 Fix that right up. 345 00:12:50,262 --> 00:12:52,938 So I've completed the examination, 346 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,178 she did really well. 347 00:12:54,179 --> 00:12:55,337 What's the prognosis? 348 00:12:55,338 --> 00:12:57,288 We can fix most of her arm, 349 00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:01,241 but she'll never regain full mobility in her shoulder joint, 350 00:13:01,242 --> 00:13:03,555 because they don't make that part anymore. 351 00:13:03,556 --> 00:13:04,772 Well, that's pretty good, right? 352 00:13:04,773 --> 00:13:06,536 I mean, she'll look exactly the same. 353 00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:07,282 No one will know. 354 00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:08,163 I'll know. 355 00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:11,720 I'm just saying I liked her the way she was. 356 00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,181 She was such a sweet little doll. 357 00:13:14,142 --> 00:13:14,867 I'm sorry, doctor. 358 00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,704 I'm having trouble adjusting to all this. 359 00:13:16,736 --> 00:13:19,440 Uh, dad, she's still a sweet little doll. 360 00:13:19,441 --> 00:13:20,751 No, she's broken. 361 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,506 No, she's just changed a little. 362 00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:25,509 It happens. Dolls grow up. 363 00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:26,804 Well, actually-- 364 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,730 - Uh, could you... - Yeah. Sure. 365 00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:29,977 I actually have to go 366 00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:32,013 give a little girl some pretty bad news. 367 00:13:35,659 --> 00:13:36,669 So, Haley... 368 00:13:39,812 --> 00:13:40,880 The thing is... 369 00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:43,974 Fact-- Haley's almost 18. 370 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,561 Fact-- I am the cool dad. 371 00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:50,876 Haley, I understand that sex is a part of life. 372 00:13:50,877 --> 00:13:52,269 I can't say that I'm thrilled to hear this, 373 00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:54,558 but I'm sure you're being safe, and I hope that you'll feel free 374 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,194 to talk to me about this anytime. 375 00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:00,423 We should... 376 00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:03,337 We should probably get Beatrice, like, a-a cast or something, 377 00:14:03,338 --> 00:14:05,661 and we can all sign it. Yeah? 378 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,680 Uh, yeah. Sure. 379 00:14:07,757 --> 00:14:10,024 Fact-- I blew it. 380 00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,530 This repair's probably gonna take a little while. 381 00:14:13,531 --> 00:14:14,635 Why don't you run up to the food court 382 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,714 and grab us a table? I'll get Alex and Lily. 383 00:14:17,221 --> 00:14:18,157 Okay. 384 00:14:20,432 --> 00:14:22,473 Do you want the counter or a booth? 385 00:14:24,007 --> 00:14:25,393 Whatever seems right to you. 386 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:28,952 I trust you. 387 00:14:33,662 --> 00:14:35,087 I have a cool dad. 388 00:14:39,784 --> 00:14:41,297 Okay. Your turn. 389 00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:42,619 Unh-unh! No way! 390 00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:44,410 Do you wanna get her attention, or not? 391 00:15:01,745 --> 00:15:03,190 That was amazing! 392 00:15:03,191 --> 00:15:05,057 Did you see the look on Miranda's face? 393 00:15:05,058 --> 00:15:07,616 No. But you did good, Thelma. 394 00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:09,727 Please stop calling me that. I hate that movie. 395 00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:10,864 What movie? 396 00:15:11,923 --> 00:15:13,420 Uh-oh! Dead end! 397 00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:14,844 You gotta make a u-ey. 398 00:15:14,845 --> 00:15:16,225 I don't know how to do that. 399 00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:28,557 She pretended to have a headache, Cam. 400 00:15:28,558 --> 00:15:30,495 She doesn't want to spend time with me. 401 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,373 Maybe she just wanted to be alone. 402 00:15:32,573 --> 00:15:33,716 Why? 403 00:15:33,852 --> 00:15:34,999 Because some people 404 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,452 really value their privacy, 405 00:15:37,453 --> 00:15:39,395 and you have to respect that. 406 00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,500 I have to go. 407 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,817 Hola, Claire! 408 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:47,007 Gloria, you've gotta stop doing that! 409 00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:49,910 Were you going back to the yoga class without me? 410 00:15:49,911 --> 00:15:52,103 No, that is not why I came back. 411 00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:53,562 I don't understand you. 412 00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,527 Why you don't want to spend time with me? 413 00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:57,438 Everybody wants to spend time with me! 414 00:15:57,439 --> 00:16:00,586 Even the lady that did my nails wants to take me to pilates. 415 00:16:00,587 --> 00:16:02,173 I didn't come back here to do yoga. 416 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,745 I don't do yoga. It's a cover, okay? 417 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:05,810 Look... 418 00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:08,021 I know that from the outside, 419 00:16:08,022 --> 00:16:10,053 it seems like I have everything together. 420 00:16:10,054 --> 00:16:11,397 No, not really. 421 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,485 My point is that my life can be very stressful. 422 00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:17,377 And I have found a way to cope with that stress. 423 00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:20,190 And it's my little secret. And I'm not proud of it. 424 00:16:20,191 --> 00:16:22,352 - Hey, Claire. See you inside. - Hey! 425 00:16:22,374 --> 00:16:23,893 Is that what you do? 426 00:16:24,439 --> 00:16:25,944 No. No! 427 00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:29,033 Okay. You're coming with me. Come in. 428 00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:31,464 But listen to me. Gloria... 429 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,830 It has to stay between us. 430 00:16:34,279 --> 00:16:37,098 This is my sacred space. 431 00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:43,953 It's just such a great release. 432 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,094 - Thank you for not judging me. - Why would I? 433 00:16:46,095 --> 00:16:48,110 If anything, it makes me like you more. 434 00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:49,426 - Mm. - So how often do you come here? 435 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:50,865 Not that often. No. 436 00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:52,505 Hey. 437 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:54,051 Maybe a little often. 438 00:16:54,052 --> 00:16:55,284 That's so sad. 439 00:16:55,285 --> 00:16:56,911 I live with four teenagers. 440 00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:58,123 You live with two adults. 441 00:16:58,124 --> 00:16:59,227 - You have no idea... - No, no, no. It's so sad 442 00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:00,527 that you come here so often 443 00:17:00,528 --> 00:17:02,213 and that's the best that you can shoot. 444 00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,323 And that's with pretty nails. 445 00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:07,544 But improper stance. I... 446 00:17:07,545 --> 00:17:08,899 - Practice more. - Okay. 447 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,639 Here you go, Ace... 448 00:17:11,011 --> 00:17:12,936 I mean... what is your real name? 449 00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:13,870 Jay. 450 00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:18,536 - Dad, I-- - I told you, forget about it. 451 00:17:19,148 --> 00:17:21,557 All right. I-I just want you to know 452 00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:23,291 I get why you're upset, okay? 453 00:17:23,735 --> 00:17:25,056 That--that day you got the hole-in-one, 454 00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:26,340 it meant a lot to you. 455 00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:29,050 And... I... I marred it. 456 00:17:29,595 --> 00:17:31,831 But it meant a lot to me, too. 457 00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:34,554 We had a steak dinner, you gave me my first beer, 458 00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:35,595 and, uh... 459 00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:38,341 It was one of the greatest days we ever spent together. 460 00:17:38,493 --> 00:17:40,523 And it wasn't about some meaningless hole-in-one, 461 00:17:40,524 --> 00:17:41,926 it was about us. 462 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:43,835 No. It was about a hole-in-one. 463 00:17:44,383 --> 00:17:46,311 Yes. Yes. A-a little bit, maybe. 464 00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:48,565 But mostly, it was about how we bonded. 465 00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:51,785 I thought I hit a ball straight from the tee 466 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,701 really, really far 467 00:17:53,717 --> 00:17:55,172 into a tiny hole. 468 00:17:56,154 --> 00:17:57,092 Okay. 469 00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,967 Well, when will I learn? 470 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:03,604 And it wasn't your first beer, anyway. 471 00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:05,935 Yes, it was, dad, but I wouldn't expect you to remember. 472 00:18:06,451 --> 00:18:08,012 It was your 14th birthday. 473 00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:10,628 You asked me for a sip of mine. 474 00:18:10,629 --> 00:18:12,818 Your mom yelled at you in front of all your friends, 475 00:18:12,819 --> 00:18:14,208 said you were just a baby. 476 00:18:14,798 --> 00:18:16,558 You ran outside in tears... 477 00:18:16,908 --> 00:18:19,101 Which, unfortunately, supported your mom's argument. 478 00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:22,449 Anyway, I came out with a couple of beers. 479 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,349 We drank 'em on the porch 480 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,324 watching the storm clouds coming in. 481 00:18:29,256 --> 00:18:31,149 I had completely forgotten about that. 482 00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:33,611 You know, you're-- you're unbelievable. 483 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:36,012 - Just when I peg you as some-- - Storm Stevens! That's it! 484 00:18:36,564 --> 00:18:38,032 Give me something. I'm gonna write it right here. 485 00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:40,979 - Before I forget. "Storm Stevens." - Stevens. 486 00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:44,714 What were we just talking about? Just now? 487 00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:47,646 - No? - Mnh-mnh. 488 00:18:48,409 --> 00:18:50,354 Come on, Lily. Let's see if Beatrice is ready. 489 00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:57,003 Hey, dad? 490 00:18:57,911 --> 00:18:59,336 I know I'm way too old for this, 491 00:18:59,337 --> 00:19:01,499 but do you think I could get this doll? 492 00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:02,546 Her name's Genevieve, 493 00:19:02,547 --> 00:19:04,128 and she's developing a vaccine for... 494 00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:05,170 Yes, you can get the doll. 495 00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:07,254 You can get as many dolls as you want. 496 00:19:08,198 --> 00:19:09,408 It's $200. 497 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:10,830 Or one is fine. 498 00:19:13,673 --> 00:19:15,109 I know you're here. 499 00:19:17,784 --> 00:19:18,717 Hello. 500 00:19:24,135 --> 00:19:25,741 I have a bad feeling about this. 501 00:19:25,742 --> 00:19:27,210 What if one of your neighbors saw us? 502 00:19:27,211 --> 00:19:28,708 Maybe we should just confess. 503 00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,642 We will... 504 00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,396 In 20 years. 505 00:19:31,397 --> 00:19:32,089 Huh? 506 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:34,862 You heard grandpa. There's a statute of limitations, 507 00:19:34,863 --> 00:19:36,098 which is a good thing 508 00:19:36,099 --> 00:19:38,416 because we still need to take Lily down. 509 00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,056 Nah, let her be the cute one. 510 00:19:40,057 --> 00:19:41,389 We don't need that anymore. 511 00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:42,984 We're bad boys now. 512 00:19:43,237 --> 00:19:45,573 Yeah. I like that. 513 00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:47,344 Bad boys. 514 00:19:48,384 --> 00:19:49,343 Your mom! 515 00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:56,275 Oh, my God. 516 00:19:56,974 --> 00:19:58,022 Cam! 517 00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:00,541 Um, this had a lid? 518 00:20:04,212 --> 00:20:06,165 I'll see you guys later. I'm going to Abby's. 519 00:20:06,181 --> 00:20:07,236 Bye, honey. Have fun. 520 00:20:07,237 --> 00:20:09,859 Have fun, you! With Abby! 521 00:20:10,971 --> 00:20:12,962 We've confirmed Abby's a real person and a female? 522 00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:14,322 Yes, sweetie. We met her. 523 00:20:15,363 --> 00:20:18,081 Honey, we can't treat Haley differently 524 00:20:18,082 --> 00:20:20,633 just because we both know what we know about her. 525 00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:22,831 I know. I just need time. 526 00:20:25,146 --> 00:20:26,636 So Dylan told you? 527 00:20:26,905 --> 00:20:29,661 Why didn't he tell me? He and I used to share everything. 528 00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:31,858 You're upset about a lot of things. 529 00:20:32,301 --> 00:20:33,978 Okay, I won't obsess over it. 530 00:20:35,044 --> 00:20:36,634 I just wanna ask you one thing. 531 00:20:37,913 --> 00:20:39,060 How long have you known? 532 00:20:40,577 --> 00:20:41,615 Three months. 533 00:20:42,286 --> 00:20:45,143 So this giant thing happened to our first born, 534 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:48,341 and you kept me in the dark about it for three whole months? 535 00:20:48,342 --> 00:20:50,774 I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure how you'd-- Okay. 536 00:20:51,035 --> 00:20:52,133 Thank you. 537 00:20:54,701 --> 00:21:01,201 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net