1 00:00:03,650 --> 00:00:06,800 And we have... lift-off. 2 00:00:08,770 --> 00:00:10,480 Yello, house of the future. 3 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,050 Phil, you have two whole days to yourself. 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,320 Please tell me you're not gonna spend them 5 00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:15,320 trying to wire the house to your iPad. 6 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:17,220 Nope, 'cause I've already done it. 7 00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:20,490 I think when you get home, you're gonna be very surprised to see 8 00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:24,060 that this house has an actual functioning brain in it. 9 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:26,480 Great. Great. Now go out and see some friends. 10 00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:27,400 I'm headed out now. 11 00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:29,690 I have a third showing at that colonial. 12 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,740 Cam gave me a free pass to his gym. 13 00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,300 I am... not too bright. 14 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,370 I am... dim! 15 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,750 Honey, if you could hear yourself. 16 00:00:37,860 --> 00:00:39,370 Promise me you'll go outside and play. 17 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:41,050 Miss you, too. 18 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,610 Phil Dunphy, this is the year 2025. 19 00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:47,720 Welcome. 20 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,420 You're the first one here. 21 00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:02,086 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 22 00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:03,980 Shall we hit the waterslide first? 23 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:05,540 I may just sit in the room for a bit. 24 00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:06,820 Stop moping! 25 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,990 So you didn't get a date to one stupid dance. 26 00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,070 It's not one stupid dance. 27 00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:12,170 It's the kickoff to the whole dance season. 28 00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,830 It's like you've never heard boys talk. 29 00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:16,960 We are here for the academic challenge. 30 00:01:17,050 --> 00:01:18,830 It's under "Dunphy." 31 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,460 Or it could be under "returning champion." 32 00:01:21,570 --> 00:01:23,840 Not sure how they file these things. 33 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:26,000 Alex wins things, which is great. 34 00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:28,300 But she puts so much pressure on herself. 35 00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:31,920 I... I almost wish she would lose this year. 36 00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:33,710 Plus, that way, I could go on the waterslide. 37 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:36,450 It's got a corkscrew, 2-second freefall, 38 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,130 and a radar gun at the bottom. 39 00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:40,670 I'm Phil. 40 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,000 Nothing from the minibar, 41 00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:43,650 - and no pay-per-view. - Can we at least... 42 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,010 No, you may not send things out for pressing. 43 00:01:46,130 --> 00:01:48,440 Honey, we have an hour until the competition. 44 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:49,990 Do you want to go to the contestants mixer? 45 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,730 No, I don't want to humanize them. 46 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,170 Can you believe this is my first bar mitzvah? 47 00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:56,700 You'll love it. I heard the gift bags have smartphones. 48 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:59,220 Jewish people are so awesome. 49 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,880 Oh, my God. Did you see that? 50 00:02:01,990 --> 00:02:03,080 She smiled at me. 51 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,880 People get that way in dance season. 52 00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:07,030 No girl's ever smiled at me like that. 53 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,730 Luke, we have to go to that bar mitzvah. 54 00:02:08,860 --> 00:02:10,990 - Why? - There was a connection. 55 00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,750 I know this sounds crazy, 56 00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:14,790 but I feel like my whole life has led to this moment. 57 00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:17,770 You made a very similar speech to get my mom to stop for those churros. 58 00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,120 Luke, I need you for this. 59 00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:20,450 You're sneakier than I am. 60 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:21,650 You're a bigger liar. 61 00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:23,210 You have no moral compass. 62 00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:24,850 Look, thanks for all the compliments, 63 00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:26,410 but breaking into one stupid party? 64 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,900 That's not even a challenge. 65 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:33,520 Oh, no. Three bar mitzvahs? 66 00:02:34,290 --> 00:02:36,740 Now it's interesting. 67 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,610 - Cam, stop. - What? 68 00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:41,980 We have to get them out of there. 69 00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:43,490 What's taking them? 70 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,250 We have the most amazing gift for Jay and Gloria's nursery. 71 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,210 It was Cam's idea, and it's a pretty big swing. 72 00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:52,000 It's not a swing. It's not a swing. 73 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,650 I just need Jay and Gloria out of the house for a minimum of four hours 74 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,520 - so I can have my crew install it. - Simple. 75 00:02:57,590 --> 00:02:58,420 Please. If it were up to you, 76 00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,430 we'd get them something off their gift registry. 77 00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:01,580 You mean the list of things that 78 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,330 they specifically said that they wanted? 79 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,480 They don't know what they want. 80 00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:08,170 ...before I snap his finger off! 81 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,610 Ay, no. Jay was supposed to cancel. 82 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,130 - We cannot go to lunch. - No. 83 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,930 I am sorry, but he's supposed to pick up the crib at the store, 84 00:03:17,050 --> 00:03:18,210 and I am too tired. 85 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,320 The baby kicked me all night. 86 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,960 It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl. 87 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,240 You can be both. My senior year, 88 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,380 I was a right-side linebacker 89 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,740 and a left-side cancan dancer in "Gigi." 90 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,250 She really set you up for that one, didn't she? 91 00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:32,570 Yeah, when it came out of her mouth, I nearly stopped breathing. 92 00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:34,520 You didn't call them to cancel. 93 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,030 Sorry. You want gas money? 94 00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,250 Don't pay attention to him. 95 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,070 He's been very grumpy lately. 96 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:40,110 Okay, here's a thought. 97 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:42,160 Mitchell, you go to the crib store with Jay. 98 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,420 That way I can spend some quality time with this pretty lady. 99 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:45,570 No, I'm going to lay down. 100 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,690 No, no, I'm gonna take you both to lunch. 101 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,030 Okay? There, it's settled. 102 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,640 Now go put a lip on. Okay? 103 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,470 Fine. I guess you won't get in the way. 104 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,670 You mean it, pa? 105 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,850 Really and for true? 106 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,560 I won't get in the way? 107 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,210 - That's a good idea. - Yeah. The chairs are rocks. 108 00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:02,860 Charlemagne. 109 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:07,090 You can get a 1-day cushion for $8, or a 2-day for $12. 110 00:04:07,150 --> 00:04:07,930 Alex Dunphy. 111 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,150 Last year, I got 2 1-dayers-big mistake. 112 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:12,600 Who wrote the 95 theses? 113 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,800 My daughter went on to win the whole thing, 114 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,930 and all I could think was "I just flushed $4 down the toilet." 115 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:19,290 John Calvin. 116 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,140 Alex! 117 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,890 I guess I just didn't want to presume 118 00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:25,020 that we would be here for the two days. 119 00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:28,000 But still, what kind of message was I sending with the 1-dayer? 120 00:04:28,110 --> 00:04:29,260 You "whoo'd" me? 121 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:30,420 What are you doing here? 122 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:31,870 I'm out. I got the question wrong, 123 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,880 which is embarrassing enough without you "whoo-ing" me! 124 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:36,240 Alex! Alex, come back here. 125 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,230 Don't! 126 00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:42,210 Wait, what are the last four numbers again? 127 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,780 1-9-8-4. 128 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,220 It's kind of a lucky number for me. 129 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:46,810 It's the year "Footloose" came out. 130 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,140 Yeah. And I really am gonna call you for that rematch. 131 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,130 Anytime. 132 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,540 I mean, not super late, but... 133 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,870 - Wait, you're a bulldog? - Yeah. You? 134 00:04:58,770 --> 00:05:00,830 I knew there was something about you I liked. 135 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,810 You mean besides me letting you win? 136 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:05,160 You know, we have a big game today. 137 00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:07,510 - You wanna watch it together? - Well... 138 00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:08,790 Shoot. I'm-- I'm late for a showing. 139 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,320 No pressure at all, but if you feel like it, 140 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,470 we could watch it at my place. 141 00:05:11,590 --> 00:05:13,110 I could text you the address. 142 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,460 All right. Well, thanks. It was great meeting you, Phil. 143 00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,170 You, too, Dave. 144 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,110 It's me. 145 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,140 Yeah, you were totally right about this gym. 146 00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:26,290 - I just met the cutest guy. - What did I tell you? 147 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,760 That place is like a gay bar with dumbbells. 148 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:29,840 Redundant. 149 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,060 Well, I don't know much about him, 150 00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,720 but he invited me over to his place to watch a football game tonight. 151 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:34,780 Oh, my gosh, a date. 152 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,560 I have a good feeling about this. 153 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,170 Well, don't start planning the wedding yet. 154 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,680 I mean, I'm not even sure if it's a date date. 155 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:41,820 You met him at hook-up central. 156 00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:43,170 Of course it's a date date. 157 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,670 Am I even ready for a date date? 158 00:05:44,790 --> 00:05:46,900 Tough love time, David, Simon left you six months ago, 159 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,110 and you're bumming everyone out. 160 00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:50,150 It's time to get back up on that horse. 161 00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:51,780 Hope to see you tonight, Dave. 162 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:55,380 I can't remember the last time a man made that sound for me. 163 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,620 She's not here. We have the wrong bar mitzvah. 164 00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,770 Not if you like prime rib, bubbie. 165 00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:15,000 You said to blend. 166 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,250 I picked up some expressions at the latke station. 167 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,240 P.S. they're hash browns. 168 00:06:19,390 --> 00:06:20,300 We're not blending. 169 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:22,710 She's at one of the other two. Come on. 170 00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:24,980 Sorry. 171 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,980 Such a hurry, this one. 172 00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:28,540 Come on. 173 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:31,970 That's too cute. 174 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,480 What the hell is that? 175 00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:35,930 That's the store mascot. That's Hugga Bunny. 176 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,110 - He goes around and he hugs... - No, I get it. 177 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:39,760 Nice for flu season. 178 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:42,240 He ought to be called conjunctivitis bunny. 179 00:06:42,390 --> 00:06:43,430 Okay. 180 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:45,930 So, dad, the cribs are over there, but while we're here, 181 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,380 a little advice, you can never have too many onesies. All right? 182 00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:49,970 Any event, day or night. 183 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,600 Throw one on, little pair of booties, boom-ready to go out. 184 00:06:52,690 --> 00:06:54,020 Dress it up, you could dress it down. 185 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,690 You could-- Dad? 186 00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,510 Dad? 187 00:06:58,630 --> 00:07:00,540 Something was clearly going on with my dad, 188 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,470 but I wasn't about to get sucked in. 189 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,810 It's happened before. 190 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,930 "Dad, you seem sad. Do you wanna talk?" 191 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,200 "Talk?! What are we, girlfriends?" 192 00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:12,850 To use a sports reference, put the football away, Lucy. 193 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,300 I ain't kickin'. 194 00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,480 So Saturday noon? 195 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:16,770 - Saturday noon's fine, Jay. - Yeah. 196 00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,620 Dad, I picked you up a diaper bag. 197 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,790 Fun fact... this insulated pouch will keep a bottle of 198 00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:23,680 prosecco cold for an entire Wiggles concert. 199 00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:26,430 - Mitch, it's doctor... - Bob Jensen. 200 00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:27,540 Nice to meet you. 201 00:07:27,670 --> 00:07:29,540 - Jay, I will see you. - Yeah, I'll see you then. 202 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:31,120 Good, Bob. 203 00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:36,750 Doctor? Sweater vest? My dad acting all shifty? 204 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,530 He was seeing a shrink. 205 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,910 "Dad, I can see that you're going through something." 206 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,220 "And I can see your bra strap, Oprah. Mind your own business." 207 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,810 Tee up the football all you want, Lucy. 208 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,240 Still ain't kickin'. 209 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,770 She clearly misheard the question. 210 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:53,980 The acoustics in here are terrible. 211 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,630 Especially for a little girl just getting over an ear infection. 212 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,870 - Oh, my God, what are you doing? - I was explaining your-- 213 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:00,570 I heard, because my ears are fine. 214 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:02,170 I'm sorry. I didn't ask her to do this. 215 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:03,670 - I'm trying to help you. - You were not. 216 00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,060 You were trying to help you. 217 00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,110 You're just mad because now you can't 218 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,620 parade me around like some show pony. 219 00:08:07,730 --> 00:08:08,720 - That is not true. - Don't deny it. 220 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,580 You bought the 2-day cushion. 221 00:08:12,030 --> 00:08:13,800 Who are you to judge? 222 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:28,000 Thank you for a fun day, okay? 223 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,420 - Good-bye. - Good-bye? 224 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,680 Cam, sorry, but the lunch was two hours, 225 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,510 and then you had to show me your first apartment. 226 00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:35,530 Could you believe how I used to live? 227 00:08:35,650 --> 00:08:36,940 I really need to take a nap now. 228 00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:39,190 No. No, no. No. No. No, no. 229 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,810 You know what? I have, something I want you to do 230 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,110 that's even more relaxing than a nap. 231 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,770 No. I want to take a nap. 232 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,390 - There's my man. - That's me. Your man. 233 00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,660 I brought spinach dip. I don't know why. 234 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,030 I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's delicious, 235 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,940 and you're an awesome guest. Get in here. 236 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:55,900 - All right. - How are you? 237 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,400 - Good. You? - Good. 238 00:08:57,550 --> 00:08:59,140 By the way, I left a message for my brother-in-law 239 00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:01,090 and his partner to join us, too. 240 00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,330 More people. Good. 241 00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:05,590 - Nice house, by the way. - Thanks. 242 00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,510 Wait a minute. Is that your family? 243 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:09,640 Are you married? 244 00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:11,390 Yeah, but don't worry. We have the house to ourselves. 245 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:12,580 They're all out of town. 246 00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:14,950 I am long overdue for a boys' night. 247 00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,640 So your wife is okay with-- 248 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,920 Oh yeah. She suggested it. 249 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,860 She knows I need this every so often. 250 00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:23,600 Long as I clean up afterwards, she's fine. 251 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,040 You ready for a margarita? 252 00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:26,790 Sure. 253 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:32,310 Soothing, right? 254 00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:35,750 You see, as the music relaxes the baby, you relax. 255 00:09:35,890 --> 00:09:38,270 No, you're making the baby jump on my bladder. 256 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,630 How can it relax listening to a song about a hooker? 257 00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,550 She's not a hooker, she's a private dancer. 258 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,720 A dancer for money. She'll do what you want her to-- 259 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,760 Oh, my gosh, I taught Lily this song. 260 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,420 Excuse me. Hello? 261 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:51,730 He's married. To a woman. 262 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,670 Yeah, she's out of town. 263 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,750 I don't know. They must have some sort of arrangement or something. 264 00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:58,810 So what? If they know about it, who cares? 265 00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,240 You're not ready for a relationship anyway. 266 00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:01,610 Just have some fun. 267 00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:02,890 It feels weird. 268 00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:04,160 He has other people coming over. 269 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,720 I think I'm gonna bail on this. 270 00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:08,500 He's just feeling you out like you're feeling him out. 271 00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:11,740 I promise you, these other guests will mysteriously cancel. 272 00:10:11,850 --> 00:10:13,610 Hold on just a second, sweetie. 273 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:16,380 - Hello? - You guys still coming? 274 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,250 I forgot to call you. We have to cancel. 275 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,440 No problem. Bye. 276 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,950 More margaritas for us. The other guys just cancelled. 277 00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,080 Are you still there? 278 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,520 You were right. The other guys just cancelled. 279 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:29,850 See? Now listen to me. 280 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,050 You're gonna have two margaritas. 281 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,240 Maybe start a third. 282 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:33,700 Laugh at his jokes. 283 00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,030 But not in that high falsetto thing. 284 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,690 Something more manly. Let's practice. 285 00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:38,030 I'm not gonna laugh for you. 286 00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:40,050 You can be very controlling, you know that? 287 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,550 Why does everybody say I'm controlling? 288 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,020 Gotta go. 289 00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,010 Looks like this kennel is for bulldogs only. 290 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,780 - You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right. 291 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,220 - I'm great. - Oh, good. 292 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:56,140 Listen, I-I don't want this to sound weird, but, um... 293 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,650 But you and I, tonight... 294 00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:01,240 Is this, uh... 295 00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:04,000 Sorry, Dave, what was that? 296 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,820 Nothing. 297 00:11:18,370 --> 00:11:19,240 Here you go. 298 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,900 For a small fee, we can come to your house and assemble it for you. 299 00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:23,710 Yeah, my dad's more of a do-it-yourself-er, 300 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,160 plus he's not one for strangers in his personal space. 301 00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:27,330 All right. 302 00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:28,700 Well, can I help you carry it to your car? 303 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,260 Yeah, he's not gonna go for that, either. 304 00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:32,330 The guy won't even use the wheels on his suitcase. 305 00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,260 Likes everyone to think he's this big, tough guy who- 306 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,620 Okay. 307 00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:37,840 There he is. All right. Let's get this done. 308 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:39,360 - Dad, you know-- - No, 309 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,910 we don't need any help, Mitchell. Just pick up your end. 310 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,070 - Dad, stop, stop, stop. - What? A break already? 311 00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:48,920 Dad, you're obviously going through something. 312 00:11:49,010 --> 00:11:50,960 Look, you do not have to go through this alone. 313 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,260 I'm here to talk if you want. 314 00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:54,720 That's really nice of you, Mitchell, 315 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,330 but do you wanna do it here? 316 00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:59,230 'Cause I saw a little princess table with a tea set on it. 317 00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:01,550 You and I could have a real gab fest. 318 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,590 I'm such a blockhead. 319 00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:06,240 Can't we just get this into the car? 320 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,790 Why? So you're not late for your shrink session? 321 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:09,680 - What? - Yeah. I picked up on that. 322 00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:10,860 Bunny hugger! 323 00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,120 Saw that, too. 324 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,550 Mobile spinner. 325 00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,650 I swear to God... 326 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,790 What are you doing back here?! 327 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,420 I didn't have the room key, and I don't want to be seen in public. 328 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,580 I thought about what you said before... 329 00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:28,710 When did China's last emperor ascend the throne? 330 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,690 1909. 331 00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:31,530 And you can say a lot of things about me, 332 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,640 but I am not someone who lives through her kids. 333 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,050 Sorry. It's 1909. 334 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,370 Do I like to see you succeed? Of course I do! 335 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,820 - Tritium is an isotope of what element? - Hydrogen. 336 00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,160 But do I need that to make myself feel important? 337 00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:44,570 Absolutely not. 338 00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:46,440 No, the answer is hydrogen. 339 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,150 As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt you would think I was so shallow. 340 00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:52,090 The persian satrapy of Skudra included which two areas? 341 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,720 Macedonia and Thrace. 342 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,930 I know moms like that, and that is not me. 343 00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:58,330 No way. 344 00:12:58,410 --> 00:12:59,560 Macedonia and Thrace. 345 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:01,220 Are you freaking kidding me?! 346 00:13:01,340 --> 00:13:04,330 Macedonia and Thrace? What even is that?! 347 00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:05,680 You're hardly even listening! 348 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,920 How could we lose this?! 349 00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:12,550 - I said "we." - Yeah. You do that sometimes. 350 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,650 I'm so sorry. 351 00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:16,890 I am one of those moms. 352 00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:19,020 I like it too much when you win. 353 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:21,750 I really love lording it over the other moms. 354 00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,640 Well, in our house, I'm kind of your only source for that. 355 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,330 You're telling me. 356 00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:30,150 Haley e-mails me pictures of her nails. 357 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,460 And Luke asked me if he's part owl. 358 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:34,560 He does get his head pretty far around. 359 00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:36,660 Alex, I'm so sorry. 360 00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:38,310 It's okay. 361 00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:39,540 Maybe you do put pressure on me, 362 00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:42,180 but it's nothing compared to what I put on myself. 363 00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:44,830 I guess I needed somebody to blame for what happened today, 364 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,500 and there you were. 365 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,980 You know I'm in awe of you, right? 366 00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,460 Come on. I know a back way out of this place. 367 00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:54,000 Wait. Don't you have to return that? 368 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,870 No way. I paid good money for this. 369 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:58,110 - We're taking it down the waterslide. - Okay. 370 00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,760 How can she not be here, either? 371 00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:00,770 This is hopeless. 372 00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:02,410 Have a little faith. 373 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,900 Did the Jews give up when the Egyptians 374 00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,840 chased them to the banks of the red sea? 375 00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:07,230 How do you know all this stuff? 376 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,970 Was I the only one listening to Uncle Menachem's toast? 377 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,960 Well, I'm glad it worked out for the ancient Jews, 378 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:13,480 but at the moment I don't see God doing me any... 379 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,020 Look! 380 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,700 I'm not gonna embarrass you, 381 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,950 but you got one minute to get out of here. 382 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:29,130 You, too. 383 00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:32,430 It's for the best. 384 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,110 All this sneaking around was kind of weighing on me. 385 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:36,790 Let's just grab our gift bags and go. 386 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,800 No. I still have 50 seconds. 387 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,560 Excuse me. 388 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,140 My name is Manny Delgado, and I've been searching for you 389 00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,930 since you smiled at me in the lobby today, 390 00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:50,840 maybe even my whole life. 391 00:14:50,980 --> 00:14:53,230 It's too late for us to have the magical night I was hoping for, 392 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:54,880 but it's not too late for us to have a memento 393 00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:56,230 of what might have been. 394 00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:57,690 I'll be waiting. 395 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,950 - Okay, Mitch. - Too late. Not interested. 396 00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:17,320 Now listen. 397 00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,200 Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go out the back. 398 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,600 Door, sunroof, all on lockdown. 399 00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,860 Okay, look, that guy you met today 400 00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:26,980 he is a shrink. 401 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,130 But I don't see him all the time. 402 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,210 You mom and I saw him a little before the divorce. 403 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,590 But every now and then, something comes up for me, 404 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:36,020 and I go in for a tune-up. 405 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,160 If you're waiting for me to ask what's going on with you, 406 00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:39,890 you just better keep waiting, 'cause 407 00:15:39,990 --> 00:15:41,350 I learned my lesson. 408 00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:44,250 I'm down about something. Something I knew was coming, 409 00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,630 and now it's finally happening. 410 00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:51,670 We're turning my office into the nursery today. 411 00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:56,090 You've been moping around like you lost your platoon over a room? 412 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,920 Not just a room. 413 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,100 It's the only place in this house 414 00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,300 where I can still close the door 415 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:02,210 and read a book or have a drink. 416 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,090 Everything in there was mine. 417 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,770 Who cares? Everybody's got their problems. 418 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,080 No. 419 00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:11,680 You know, I can still open my door. 420 00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,880 You just locked yourself back in. 421 00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:16,650 Look, dad, I... 422 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:19,570 I had to give up my home office for Lily's bedroom, 423 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,870 and I was upset about it, too. 424 00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:24,240 - Snwa't hugging bunnies, but... - All right. 425 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:28,820 I- I realize that it wasn't about an office or a room. 426 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,630 It was about how Lily was gonna change everything. 427 00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:34,800 But once we got her in there, I don't know. 428 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:37,230 I-I just- I never looked back. 429 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,150 Yeah, I guess I'm just nervous about everything, you know. 430 00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:43,750 Thanks, kid. 431 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,040 You know, I'm just recalling me grumbling about 432 00:16:47,170 --> 00:16:50,400 giving up my MG Roadster when you and Claire came along. 433 00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:51,980 Great car. 434 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,560 No backseat. 435 00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:55,410 Isn't it funny? The stupid things that we think... 436 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,580 She was my baby. 437 00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:59,530 ...are so important. 438 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,760 I guess all told, we had about 50 chickens. 439 00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:04,120 Maybe 115 head of hogs. 440 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,390 Let's see, 55 cattle. 441 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,370 You know what'll be fun? 442 00:17:06,490 --> 00:17:07,910 Let's see if I can remember all their names. 443 00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:11,780 There was... Albert, Lisa, Steph, and Mike 444 00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:14,240 Gloria! No, Gloria! Gloria! 445 00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:18,310 No. I do not want to hear one more story. 446 00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,820 I am going to take a nap now. 447 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:21,310 Okay, yeah, sure. Whatever you want. 448 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,870 This day's about you. 449 00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:24,630 - Just one more thing - No, no one more thing! 450 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,200 I just wanted to take a picture, you know, 451 00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:27,520 to commemorate our special day. 452 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,460 Okay, fine! Take the picture! 453 00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:31,280 No, not here. The lighting's terrible. 454 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,720 I was thinking we could take it... in your new nursery! 455 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,730 No, Cam. No. 456 00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:40,920 But, Gloria, come. 457 00:17:41,030 --> 00:17:43,000 Somebody has to tell you this. No. 458 00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:44,530 You try to control everything. 459 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,480 You take over people's lives! 460 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,390 It's always too much with you! 461 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:50,770 You know, maybe we should talk about this out in the hallway. 462 00:17:50,910 --> 00:17:52,950 Why, because there's gonna be better lighting over there? 463 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,170 You're doing it again, Cam. 464 00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:56,800 You're doing it again! 465 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,470 You're right. I am too much. 466 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:01,350 I do control. I do barge. 467 00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,050 I'll have my friend Abelard come back and paint over it. 468 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,290 So this is why you kept me outside all day? 469 00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:10,140 So that your friend Aburar could come and paint a present? 470 00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:13,180 Yeah, rather than getting you a gift off your registry like a normal person. 471 00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:15,720 - I'm so stupid. - I love it! 472 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:16,730 You do? 473 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,430 It's just like you, full of color... 474 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,890 And life... and love. 475 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,390 I really did think you'd love it. 476 00:18:24,510 --> 00:18:26,280 What's going on up here? 477 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,710 What the... 478 00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:29,590 Okay, that was not my idea. I told Cam- 479 00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:31,530 I told him that's a lot to put on someone's wall. 480 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,030 Hold on. 481 00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:34,950 - I like it. - Really? 482 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,640 - Thanks, Cam. - You actually... 483 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,990 Makes it easier to give up the room. 484 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,960 That's close. 485 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,680 Guy was an inch out of bounds. 486 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,120 Time-out. 487 00:18:58,460 --> 00:18:59,750 You know what? 488 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:03,290 I'm not gonna be able to relax until I get this out of the way. 489 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,040 Dishwasher. 490 00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:10,540 Pretty cool, huh? 491 00:19:10,790 --> 00:19:12,980 Yeah. It is. 492 00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:14,810 Do you think... 493 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,380 - Mind if I freshen this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allow me. 494 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,620 Your hand's shaking. 495 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:24,290 Remember, Dave, it's just a game. 496 00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:32,540 - Oh, God! Oh, my God! - My gosh. 497 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,550 - Come here. - It's all right. 498 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,150 - I'm- I'm just a little wet. - No, you're drenched. 499 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,140 You can't sit in that. You know what? 500 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,800 Take that off. I'll throw 'em both in the dryer 501 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:42,110 and get us a couple of clean ones. 502 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:43,210 - Okay. - Yeah. 503 00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,930 Well, I guess this is something we're doing. 504 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,860 Interception! 505 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,190 Interception! 506 00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:50,350 - Come on, buddy! - Come on! 507 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,680 - Come on! - Come on, buddy! 508 00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:54,840 - Touchdown! - Yeah! 509 00:19:55,970 --> 00:19:57,410 How exciting is this?! 510 00:19:57,550 --> 00:19:59,520 It's been so long. 511 00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:02,190 - What's happening? - Nothing. 512 00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:03,340 My car keys. 513 00:20:03,510 --> 00:20:05,780 Shoot. The TV went off. 514 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,670 Must have screwed something up. 515 00:20:07,780 --> 00:20:10,040 You know what? It doesn't matter. There's another one upstairs. 516 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,730 How about we head up to the bedroom for some halftime festivities? 517 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:17,360 - Okay. - Let's do this. 518 00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:23,360 I'd forgotten how much fun this can be. 519 00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:25,220 We should make this a regular thing. 520 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,240 Phil, Phil, wait. 521 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,210 - I think I'd better just head home. - What? 522 00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,510 I'm just coming out of a long-term relationship, 523 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:35,600 and I guess I'm still pretty fragile. 524 00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,680 It's not that I haven't had a- a great time. 525 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:38,840 Not at all. I get it. 526 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:41,330 I've spent a few nights in heartbreak hotel. 527 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,340 If there's anything I can do... 528 00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:46,750 You've already done more than you know. 529 00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:17,710 Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net