1
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:03,639
Haley, hurry up.
You're gonna be late.

2
00:00:03,839 --> 00:00:05,039
Alex, what are you doing?

3
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,339
I need to document Haley's 
first day on the chain gang.

4
00:00:07,439 --> 00:00:09,939
It's not a chain gang.
It's community service.

5
00:00:10,139 --> 00:00:12,539
And leave her alone.
She feels bad enough as it is.

6
00:00:12,575 --> 00:00:14,427
Okay, I'm torn. 
On one hand, I'm like,

7
00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:15,821
"ugh, I have to pick up
garbage all day."

8
00:00:15,822 --> 00:00:17,408
And on the other hand, I'm like,

9
00:00:17,409 --> 00:00:19,361
"look at me in orange."

10
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,265
Aw, that's cute. 
Send that to me.

11
00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:26,150
Haley had a little run-in 
with the law in college.

12
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,916
She was arrested
for assaulting a police officer.

13
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:31,028
Accidentally. I fell on him.

14
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:32,831
While evading arrest
for underage drinking.

15
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,081
That was on purpose.

16
00:00:34,082 --> 00:00:35,444
They were very lenient with her.

17
00:00:35,445 --> 00:00:36,919
She only has to do
community service.

18
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,302
Because I do not have any priors.

19
00:00:39,303 --> 00:00:41,559
Taking a little too much pride
in that, sweetheart.

20
00:00:42,345 --> 00:00:44,212
Things can get
pretty rough out there.

21
00:00:44,213 --> 00:00:46,277
I couldn't get my hands
on any cigarettes.

22
00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:48,802
But I did make you
a shiv out of an old knife.

23
00:00:48,803 --> 00:00:50,414
You don't make a shiv 
out of a knife.

24
00:00:50,415 --> 00:00:52,318
Yeah, you make a shiv 
out of a rusty spoon

25
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,525
or a shard of glass.

26
00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:54,630
Or a human femur.

27
00:00:54,631 --> 00:00:56,479
Exactly. Be creative.

28
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,705
It's really sweet of you, Luke,

29
00:00:57,706 --> 00:00:59,421
but there's just gonna be
a bunch of drunk drivers

30
00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:01,889
and vandalizers who were
stupid enough to get caught.

31
00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:04,497
Or stupid enough to use
the word "vandalizers."

32
00:01:06,627 --> 00:01:07,794
It's vandals.

33
00:01:09,384 --> 00:01:10,784
I'm so alone.

34
00:01:12,221 --> 00:01:14,165
They're gonna eat you alive, suburbia.

35
00:01:25,344 --> 00:01:28,844
Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

36
00:01:29,846 --> 00:01:31,219
Mitchell, we're back.

37
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:32,795
You are not going to believe this.

38
00:01:32,796 --> 00:01:34,289
Cam, do you remember
why I didn't want you

39
00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:36,005
to swap out the handles
on Lily's dresser?

40
00:01:36,006 --> 00:01:38,107
Because you lack a designer's eye
and fear change?

41
00:01:38,108 --> 00:01:40,378
No. Because I was afraid
two weeks would go by,

42
00:01:40,379 --> 00:01:41,613
and we'd still be using a spatula

43
00:01:41,614 --> 00:01:43,326
to get at Lily's clothes.

44
00:01:43,425 --> 00:01:45,530
Okay, well, we have bigger issues.

45
00:01:45,531 --> 00:01:47,975
Guess what they are cutting down
at the park today?

46
00:01:47,976 --> 00:01:49,688
- A tree?
- Yes. How did you know that?

47
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:50,725
I played a hunch.

48
00:01:50,726 --> 00:01:53,277
Not just any tree, Tree-ona Elmsly.

49
00:01:53,278 --> 00:01:56,440
Oh, no. That's terrible.
That's our picnic tree.

50
00:01:56,441 --> 00:01:58,300
It's a nightmare.

51
00:01:58,301 --> 00:02:00,737
Well, someone's picked up 
her daddy's gift for hyperbole.

52
00:02:00,738 --> 00:02:02,640
They are literally
chainsawing paradise

53
00:02:02,641 --> 00:02:04,843
- to put up a parking lot.
- Oh, it's too bad.

54
00:02:04,844 --> 00:02:05,767
We have to do something.

55
00:02:05,768 --> 00:02:07,189
Well, if we knew earlier, we could.

56
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:09,308
I blame myself.
I've taken on too much.

57
00:02:10,439 --> 00:02:11,869
What exactly have you taken on?

58
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,815
Are you kidding me? 
Teaching music?

59
00:02:13,816 --> 00:02:16,486
This dresser handle project? 
My role in the musical?

60
00:02:16,487 --> 00:02:17,820
Oh, that.

61
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:19,129
You know what? 
I don't like your tone.

62
00:02:19,130 --> 00:02:20,937
The understudy's
the most challenging role

63
00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:22,250
in any production.

64
00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:23,781
You have to be ready
at a moment's notice

65
00:02:23,782 --> 00:02:25,731
to go on and face 
a disappointed audience

66
00:02:25,732 --> 00:02:27,790
who was there to see
Kenny van Heffington.

67
00:02:27,791 --> 00:02:28,918
Our insurance guy?

68
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:30,020
He's breathtaking.

69
00:02:30,021 --> 00:02:31,693
- Really?
- Yeah, I hate him.

70
00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:33,465
Anyway, what was I talking about?

71
00:02:33,466 --> 00:02:35,425
Putting new handles on the dresser.

72
00:02:35,661 --> 00:02:37,926
Right. The tree.
I have to do something.

73
00:02:39,938 --> 00:02:42,115
I can't live like this.

74
00:02:46,608 --> 00:02:48,272
Manny, while we're young!

75
00:02:48,348 --> 00:02:49,633
He doesn't want to go.

76
00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:51,759
That's why he's taking 
so long with the primping.

77
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,099
A boy his age should do 
exactly zero primping.

78
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,025
You ready?

79
00:02:56,026 --> 00:02:56,978
Not in the least.

80
00:02:56,979 --> 00:02:58,303
That's the spirit.

81
00:02:58,488 --> 00:03:00,103
This kid in my class, Doug Brooks,

82
00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,656
has a sports-themed
birthday party every year.

83
00:03:02,812 --> 00:03:05,772
All boys. All sports. All day.

84
00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:07,771
He calls it the Doug-lympics,

85
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,467
which might make sense
if he did it every four years,

86
00:03:10,602 --> 00:03:12,234
or if his name was Al.

87
00:03:12,463 --> 00:03:14,432
Let's just say nothing
about it works.

88
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:17,081
Manny, it's a beautiful day outside.

89
00:03:17,082 --> 00:03:19,046
Go on. Enjoy your dougy-lympics.

90
00:03:19,047 --> 00:03:21,752
You don't have to win a medal.
Just have fun.

91
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:24,071
Doug finishes with the most
medals no matter what.

92
00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:25,703
Plus I think he only invites me

93
00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:28,051
because he likes to match
skin color to nation.

94
00:03:28,052 --> 00:03:29,833
I know that's why 
Alan Yan gets invited.

95
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,842
Okay, we get it. 
Sports isn't your thing.

96
00:03:31,846 --> 00:03:34,950
But you gotta step out
of your comfort zone sometime.

97
00:03:35,286 --> 00:03:37,764
And for God sake, 
change out of those wingtips.

98
00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:40,295
You're a kid. 
You're not Nixon on the beach.

99
00:03:40,296 --> 00:03:42,320
Fine. I'll put on my sporty shoes.

100
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,191
Where are they?

101
00:03:43,192 --> 00:03:44,367
They're still in the box.

102
00:03:44,368 --> 00:03:45,955
And don't forget
to take out the paper

103
00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:47,646
before you put them on, okay?

104
00:03:47,647 --> 00:03:49,694
And they're called sneakers.

105
00:03:52,361 --> 00:03:54,630
Hello, hello!

106
00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:56,816
Hey, Gloria. So, ready to go?

107
00:03:57,186 --> 00:03:59,290
- Where?
- Thought we were doing a Costco run.

108
00:04:00,131 --> 00:04:01,991
Oh, I see what this is.

109
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,177
You called Claire to babysit
the stupid pregnant lady!

110
00:04:05,418 --> 00:04:06,922
You're the one who called her.

111
00:04:07,106 --> 00:04:08,083
I did?

112
00:04:08,257 --> 00:04:09,569
I called Claire.

113
00:04:09,697 --> 00:04:11,257
Gloria needs watching.

114
00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,783
She's got a serious case
of pregnancy brain.

115
00:04:14,164 --> 00:04:16,803
Last week, I found
a bar of soap in the fridge

116
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,665
and a stick of butter in the shower.

117
00:04:18,669 --> 00:04:21,877
I walked around all day
smelling like a bucket of popcorn.

118
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,899
Better than the toast I ate.

119
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,110
Yet you ate the second piece.

120
00:04:26,898 --> 00:04:29,817
Jay! Bye-bye! We're leaving!

121
00:04:29,818 --> 00:04:31,562
Seriously? I'm right here.

122
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:40,571
Duck! Duck! Come on
and hit him, you little freak!

123
00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,646
Talk about a big left hook.

124
00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:44,879
God, I love you.

125
00:04:44,915 --> 00:04:45,797
Phil in the blank!

126
00:04:45,798 --> 00:04:47,025
Bill of rights!

127
00:04:47,026 --> 00:04:48,442
Jerry-atric!

128
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,719
Alan's dad!

129
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,549
Hey, guys.
Luke, you getting in there?

130
00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:53,511
Of course.

131
00:04:53,629 --> 00:04:56,477
Look, I'm Mexico. Again.

132
00:04:57,001 --> 00:04:59,015
Does anybody care
that I'm not from Mexico?

133
00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:00,000
You keep saying that,

134
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,744
but we've never seen
a birth certificate.

135
00:05:01,745 --> 00:05:03,387
All right, look, 
I'll pick you up at 5:00.

136
00:05:03,388 --> 00:05:04,364
Knock yourself out.

137
00:05:04,365 --> 00:05:06,845
Or better still, 
knock someone else out.

138
00:05:06,994 --> 00:05:07,754
Jay, where you headed?

139
00:05:07,755 --> 00:05:09,574
Why don't you stick around 
and grab a beer with the dads?

140
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,835
Oh, I don't really know those guys.

141
00:05:10,836 --> 00:05:12,729
I think I'll just swing 
by the club, hit a few balls.

142
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,817
Well, come here. 
Let me introduce you around.

143
00:05:14,818 --> 00:05:15,816
Hey, guys,

144
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,392
this is Jay, my father-in-law. 
Manny's stepdad.

145
00:05:18,393 --> 00:05:19,670
Hey, what's up, Jay-lo?

146
00:05:19,671 --> 00:05:21,302
Okay, guys, I'll see you later.

147
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,721
What's the matter, Jay?

148
00:05:22,761 --> 00:05:24,567
Afraid to step outside
your comfort zone?

149
00:05:24,568 --> 00:05:26,488
I will send you back to Mexico.

150
00:05:28,209 --> 00:05:29,873
I didn't really call you, did I?

151
00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:32,343
No, my dad did. 
But I thought you knew.

152
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,616
Ugh. I want to be so mad at him,

153
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,073
but he's right.

154
00:05:36,355 --> 00:05:37,879
I have two brains in my body,

155
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,380
but I've never been so dumb.

156
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,473
It happens. I get it.

157
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,463
You have another 
human being inside of you,

158
00:05:42,464 --> 00:05:44,057
competing for resources.

159
00:05:44,058 --> 00:05:45,643
Look, when I was pregnant with Alex,

160
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:47,057
I could barely remember my name.

161
00:05:47,058 --> 00:05:48,729
Same with Haley and Luke?

162
00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:49,880
Mm, not so much.

163
00:05:49,881 --> 00:05:51,937
They kind of just hung out in there,
let me do my thing.

164
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,084
Thank you for understanding.

165
00:05:54,189 --> 00:05:55,893
I'm glad that you came.

166
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,327
It will help me not to forget stuff.

167
00:05:58,328 --> 00:06:00,052
- I'm glad I can help out.
- I-- Whoa, whoa!

168
00:06:00,053 --> 00:06:03,072
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Why didn't you stop first?!

169
00:06:04,717 --> 00:06:06,081
Where's daddy?

170
00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:07,032
I don't know, sweetie.

171
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,488
He said to meet him by Tree-ona.

172
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:09,728
Mitchell! Lily!

173
00:06:09,729 --> 00:06:10,700
Where is he?

174
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:12,157
Up here! Look up here!

175
00:06:12,516 --> 00:06:14,460
Cam, what are you doing up there?

176
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,062
I came down to say
goodbye to the tree,

177
00:06:16,063 --> 00:06:17,078
give it one final hug,

178
00:06:17,079 --> 00:06:19,218
and before I knew it,
I was up here.

179
00:06:19,219 --> 00:06:21,224
When you say "one final hug"...

180
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,601
If I'm occupying the tree,
they can't cut it down.

181
00:06:23,607 --> 00:06:25,283
I googled it. It's a thing.

182
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:27,389
Okay, Lily, see,
this is a nightmare.

183
00:06:27,473 --> 00:06:29,121
Tell me about it.

184
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,666
You know what?
You're a list-maker,

185
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:32,787
a planner.

186
00:06:32,829 --> 00:06:35,389
I'm a doer and an action taker!

187
00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:37,820
Sean Penn would play me
in a movie about this,

188
00:06:37,821 --> 00:06:40,648
or Anne Hathaway, if they
wanted a female-driven vehicle.

189
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:42,526
And who would play
your long-suffering partner?

190
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,912
Julianne Moore, either way.

191
00:06:43,913 --> 00:06:45,703
- I would totally see that. I would.
- I know.

192
00:06:45,704 --> 00:06:48,065
Hey! My supervisor wants to know

193
00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:49,864
if you have a history
of mental illness.

194
00:06:49,865 --> 00:06:51,416
No, sir, I do not.

195
00:06:59,829 --> 00:07:01,348
All right, Cam, let's hear.
What's the plan?

196
00:07:01,349 --> 00:07:03,733
I don't know. 
I'm sort of making it up as I go.

197
00:07:03,825 --> 00:07:05,294
Are you sure you wanna do this?

198
00:07:05,295 --> 00:07:08,191
Yes. I've never been more sure
about anything in my life.

199
00:07:08,192 --> 00:07:11,660
We need to teach our daughter
the value of taking a stand,

200
00:07:11,661 --> 00:07:13,629
no matter the sacrifice!

201
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:16,201
Hello?

202
00:07:18,073 --> 00:07:20,409
Done. I'll be right there.

203
00:07:20,871 --> 00:07:22,603
Mitchell, you need to get up here.
I have to go.

204
00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:23,312
Excuse me?

205
00:07:23,313 --> 00:07:24,779
That was my theater troupe.
An actor's sick.

206
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:25,991
I have to go and do the matinee.

207
00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,508
What happened to showing Lily
the value of taking a stand?

208
00:07:28,509 --> 00:07:30,037
It's the lead.

209
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:32,139
It's also important
to show her the value

210
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:33,813
of honoring one's commitments.

211
00:07:33,814 --> 00:07:36,394
And in this case,
my commitment preceded my stand!

212
00:07:36,395 --> 00:07:37,933
This is so you, Cam.

213
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:40,645
You start something, and
then you expect me to finish it.

214
00:07:40,646 --> 00:07:41,677
So you're not coming up here?

215
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,453
No! No, I'm not.
Come on.

216
00:07:44,232 --> 00:07:45,191
Mitchell?

217
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,808
Where were we the first day
Lily rolled over?

218
00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:49,099
Under this tree.

219
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,779
Where is home base when
we play hide-and-go-seek?

220
00:07:51,788 --> 00:07:52,797
Under this tree.

221
00:07:52,798 --> 00:07:53,951
And where did we take shelter

222
00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:56,016
during that dangerous
lightning storm?

223
00:07:56,154 --> 00:07:58,123
Wasn't a good idea,
but it was under this tree.

224
00:07:59,269 --> 00:08:02,020
Daddy, you've got to save the tree!

225
00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:03,949
Yeah, daddy,
you have to save the tree!

226
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:04,465
Okay, okay.

227
00:08:04,466 --> 00:08:06,890
But you get back here
the second you are done.

228
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:09,192
Well, I can't very well turn away
fans that come backstage.

229
00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:10,473
The second!

230
00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:22,177
Last summer, my sister took
a totally humiliating photo of me.

231
00:08:25,042 --> 00:08:26,688
Haley, that's not funny!

232
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:28,164
Then she posted it to Facebook

233
00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:29,823
and refused to take it down.

234
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:32,290
It got 873 likes.

235
00:08:32,530 --> 00:08:35,635
Meanwhile, there's not one
embarrassing photo of Haley.

236
00:08:36,401 --> 00:08:37,968
Even her mug shots were cute.

237
00:08:39,531 --> 00:08:42,315
Today, I get my revenge.

238
00:08:42,483 --> 00:08:44,377
One photo of Haley, dirty, sweaty,

239
00:08:44,378 --> 00:08:46,378
picking up trash like a criminal.

240
00:08:46,798 --> 00:08:48,326
It'll be my finest moment.

241
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,813
In a few years, I hope
to have some more friends

242
00:08:50,814 --> 00:08:52,438
and not have time
for this kind of stuff.

243
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:57,662
Okay. Hey.

244
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:58,560
Where did you go?

245
00:08:58,561 --> 00:08:59,451
To get a sweatshirt.

246
00:08:59,452 --> 00:09:01,931
We've been standing in
the frozen food aisle for half an hour.

247
00:09:01,962 --> 00:09:03,362
I need something frozen.

248
00:09:03,606 --> 00:09:05,238
Right. What?

249
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:08,416
I don't know.
I just wrote the word "frozen."

250
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,002
Okay. Uh, let's think.

251
00:09:10,003 --> 00:09:12,325
Peas. Ice cream. Pizza. Waffles.

252
00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:13,341
Wait a minute.

253
00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,098
It says "dozen." I need the eggs!

254
00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:18,173
Ah, the eggs. Okay.

255
00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:19,709
Ay, no, on the other side.

256
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,829
Oh, God. I-I'll get the carts.

257
00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:24,051
So that's... oh, sorry.

258
00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:26,827
That's... that's me.
That's me. I got it.

259
00:09:29,396 --> 00:09:31,037
Come on, guys! You're killing us!

260
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,686
Where the heck is Mexico?

261
00:09:32,885 --> 00:09:35,089
Good news, gentlemen!
I found another rope.

262
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,050
If we double-Dutch, everyone wins.

263
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,004
Okay, hold still...

264
00:09:40,403 --> 00:09:41,966
And wait for it...

265
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,232
This is what you'd look like
fat and bald.

266
00:09:46,014 --> 00:09:47,927
On my phone,
that app's called a camera.

267
00:09:48,011 --> 00:09:49,618
Bill, don't do that to yourself.

268
00:09:49,619 --> 00:09:52,374
Let me tell you something.
Ellen is one lucky woman.

269
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:54,738
Why is that funny?

270
00:09:54,739 --> 00:09:56,348
Because she's married to Jerry.

271
00:09:58,184 --> 00:09:59,592
Jay, you got any good apps?

272
00:09:59,607 --> 00:10:01,672
I don't know. I got call waiting.
Is that an app?

273
00:10:02,951 --> 00:10:04,320
You guys laugh a lot, huh?

274
00:10:04,406 --> 00:10:06,405
Jay's a little
technologically challenged.

275
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,116
From a guy who can't drive a stick.

276
00:10:08,205 --> 00:10:09,112
- What?
- You can't?

277
00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:11,260
Well... he called me
to rescue him one time.

278
00:10:11,261 --> 00:10:13,876
He got stuck on a hill.
He was afraid to let go of the clutch.

279
00:10:13,990 --> 00:10:15,720
Well... by the time I got there,

280
00:10:15,721 --> 00:10:17,402
traffic's backed up half a mile,

281
00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:19,708
everybody's yelling at him.
He's in tears.

282
00:10:19,709 --> 00:10:21,534
Not tears. Maybe sweat.

283
00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:23,088
Yeah, sweatin' out your eyes.

284
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,928
I had about ten
pretty bad pictures of Haley.

285
00:10:31,929 --> 00:10:34,913
I could have quit right there,
but I'm a perfectionist.

286
00:10:35,096 --> 00:10:36,135
I thought,

287
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:39,012
"I could do better.
She could look worse."

288
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,815
Oh, my God.

289
00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,122
All right, pal.

290
00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:49,435
Come down from the tree.

291
00:10:49,436 --> 00:10:51,165
Sorry, can't do that.

292
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,201
Come down before we pull you down.

293
00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:55,234
W--hey. Ease up.

294
00:10:55,294 --> 00:10:56,089
What's the problem?

295
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,678
Look, I don't want to be up here.

296
00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,068
You know? But this is 
my daughter's favorite tree.

297
00:11:00,069 --> 00:11:01,441
And my partner--
he's all up in arms

298
00:11:01,442 --> 00:11:03,033
about them cutting it down, so...

299
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,186
Well, if your partner's so worked up,
why isn't he here?

300
00:11:05,187 --> 00:11:07,229
Oh, well, that's
a very good question.

301
00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:09,353
It's because he starts things,
and he doesn't finish them,

302
00:11:09,354 --> 00:11:10,486
so then I have to.

303
00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:11,792
Just like my wife.

304
00:11:11,793 --> 00:11:14,586
You know, my therapist
would say we're "enabling" them.

305
00:11:14,704 --> 00:11:16,038
You and your therapist.

306
00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:18,462
Well, I wouldn't have to see him
if you hadn't shot that guy.

307
00:11:18,496 --> 00:11:19,548
Aw, that again?

308
00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:21,648
Look, let's just spray him
with the fire hose.

309
00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:22,838
You're not helping, Terry.

310
00:11:23,656 --> 00:11:25,671
It's not your fight.

311
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,065
So why don't you do us a favor,

312
00:11:27,066 --> 00:11:28,053
and come on down?

313
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,623
Because he's right, all right?

314
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:31,138
That's the frustrating part.

315
00:11:31,139 --> 00:11:33,699
I-I've been sitting up here
these past few hours,

316
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,721
and... this tree is beautiful, okay?

317
00:11:36,722 --> 00:11:40,543
And I-I can hear the squirrels
dancing through the branches,

318
00:11:40,544 --> 00:11:42,007
you know, chasing each other,

319
00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:43,554
no idea what's about to happen.

320
00:11:43,555 --> 00:11:45,154
You know, this isn't just a tree.

321
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,041
This is a home.

322
00:11:47,071 --> 00:11:49,551
Yeah, to, like, a hundred rats.

323
00:11:49,552 --> 00:11:50,968
They're all over this thing.

324
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,270
Well, that changes nothing.

325
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:54,559
I will wait you guys out
all night if I have to.

326
00:11:54,808 --> 00:11:56,920
Cam, you got 20 minutes,
and I'm out of this tree.

327
00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:00,152
Terry, you wanna
get ready with that hose?

328
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:02,928
So Alex comes home
from school the other day,

329
00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:04,952
and she said the teacher didn't know
what she was talking about,

330
00:12:04,953 --> 00:12:07,731
when in reality, I don't think that--
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

331
00:12:07,732 --> 00:12:09,897
Hey! You almost
just cut my head off.

332
00:12:09,898 --> 00:12:10,890
You gotta focus.

333
00:12:10,891 --> 00:12:14,107
I am sorry.
After all that, I forgot the eggs!

334
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,869
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, hang on one second.

335
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:18,251
Listen, this is not
just your pregnancy.

336
00:12:18,252 --> 00:12:19,723
You are purposely
turning your brain off.

337
00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:21,699
You have to at least
try to pay attention.

338
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,555
- Ma'am?
- Yeah.

339
00:12:22,556 --> 00:12:24,000
Do you have a receipt
for that sweatshirt?

340
00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:25,327
Oh, shoot.

341
00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:26,776
I'm gonna need you
to come back into the store.

342
00:12:26,777 --> 00:12:28,571
Oh, no. No, it's--
I forgot I was wearing it.

343
00:12:28,572 --> 00:12:29,237
It's no big deal. Here.

344
00:12:29,238 --> 00:12:30,990
Ma'am. The store.

345
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:32,339
Are you kidding me?

346
00:12:32,423 --> 00:12:34,004
I didn't try to steal a sweatshirt!

347
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:35,341
Sir, I'm a mom.

348
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,730
- Uh-huh.
- Gloria, help me out.

349
00:12:36,731 --> 00:12:38,316
Listen, Mr. Policeman,

350
00:12:38,317 --> 00:12:39,840
if we wanted to steal it,

351
00:12:39,841 --> 00:12:41,737
you wouldn't even know
that it was gone!

352
00:12:41,752 --> 00:12:43,281
Yeah, okay. That's not helping.

353
00:12:59,736 --> 00:13:01,688
Oh, my God! A gold bracelet!

354
00:13:01,689 --> 00:13:03,408
Hey, can we keep what we find?

355
00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:06,026
Unbelievable.

356
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:11,191
Really?

357
00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:21,233
Gentlemen, you wanna know
about the real ultimate frisbee?

358
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,597
Walk with one balanced
on your head for 50 meters.

359
00:13:23,598 --> 00:13:26,338
It is a measure of poise, 
balance, and posture.

360
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,926
Let's just whip the frisbees 
at each other as hard as we can

361
00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:30,235
and see who quits first.

362
00:13:30,236 --> 00:13:31,628
Frisbee smash.

363
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,568
Awesome! Let's go!

364
00:13:33,721 --> 00:13:35,293
Oh, my God, I'm Sisyphus. Yes!

365
00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:37,053
A big one! Ha ha! Uhh!

366
00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:40,866
So he's out in our yard
and he's got a boombox...

367
00:13:41,226 --> 00:13:43,006
What's the name
of that movie with the boombox?

368
00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:45,094
- Oh, "Say anything."
- With John Mahoney.

369
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,358
So anyway, he's out there,

370
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,454
- and he's begging Claire for forgiveness.
- I...

371
00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:51,337
She's still mad at him.
She won't have any of it.

372
00:13:51,408 --> 00:13:53,502
So he turns it up full-blast,

373
00:13:53,638 --> 00:13:55,614
and it's Olivia Newton-John.

374
00:13:56,687 --> 00:13:59,904
And he starts singing,
"Let's get Phil-sical"!

375
00:14:00,964 --> 00:14:02,459
It was an inside joke.

376
00:14:02,490 --> 00:14:04,035
Well, not anymore!

377
00:14:04,484 --> 00:14:06,135
Okay, enough with
the funny Phil stories.

378
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,626
No, but I haven't even gotten
to the best part yet.

379
00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:10,387
So he's doing his little dance,
and I can't take it anymore,

380
00:14:10,388 --> 00:14:12,604
so I nail him with the sprinklers!

381
00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:15,335
Yep, and you also
shorted out my boombox,

382
00:14:15,336 --> 00:14:17,192
which you said you'd replace
and you never did.

383
00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:18,222
I never said that!

384
00:14:18,223 --> 00:14:20,844
Yes, you did. You still owe me
one boom box, 12 "D" batteries,

385
00:14:20,849 --> 00:14:22,577
and an Olivia Newton-John cassingle.

386
00:14:23,369 --> 00:14:24,853
Okay, uh...

387
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,273
Why don't we settle it in the ring?

388
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:28,695
We get in there,

389
00:14:28,796 --> 00:14:31,699
and if you beat me, I'll buy you
any boombox you want.

390
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,045
If I beat you,

391
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,685
then you've gotta do
your little dance for everyone.

392
00:14:34,686 --> 00:14:36,367
Yeah!

393
00:14:37,195 --> 00:14:38,155
I'm in.

394
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:39,971
Let's get Phil-sical.

395
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,606
I wasn't worried.
I'd boxed in the Navy.

396
00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:45,578
And it was Phil.

397
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:47,623
And here's something
I thought I'd never say--

398
00:14:48,077 --> 00:14:49,934
I'd rather box
my daughter's husband

399
00:14:50,484 --> 00:14:51,572
than my son's.

400
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,495
I may have been holding on
to a tiny bit of anger towards Jay.

401
00:15:07,292 --> 00:15:10,399
I scooped ice cream
all summer for that boombox!

402
00:15:17,562 --> 00:15:19,845
Excuse me. Pardon me.
We're here!

403
00:15:19,846 --> 00:15:21,459
We came as fast as we could!

404
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,649
You couldn't change?

405
00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:24,753
You said come right away!

406
00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:26,779
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen!

407
00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:28,901
Oakwood rep's production of "Cats"!

408
00:15:29,107 --> 00:15:30,384
Make sure you catch it this week.

409
00:15:30,385 --> 00:15:33,730
Word on the street is the understudy
steals the show!

410
00:15:34,924 --> 00:15:36,288
Mitchell, I get two more shows!

411
00:15:36,289 --> 00:15:38,625
Kenny van Heffington's
toenail is infected!

412
00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:39,867
Just get up here, all right?

413
00:15:39,868 --> 00:15:42,676
The crew has to leave at dark,
so you have until then.

414
00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:44,763
Easy peasy.

415
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:47,084
Sweetie, tell daddy what
you thought of my performance.

416
00:15:47,085 --> 00:15:48,584
Transcendent.

417
00:15:48,585 --> 00:15:49,792
Oh, jeez.

418
00:15:50,173 --> 00:15:51,421
Is this sap?

419
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:56,373
Why would I buy hundreds
of dollars worth of merchandise

420
00:15:56,374 --> 00:15:58,117
and then steal a $20 sweatshirt?

421
00:15:58,118 --> 00:16:01,213
I don't know.
Maybe you do it for the thrill.

422
00:16:01,768 --> 00:16:02,876
I know your type.

423
00:16:02,877 --> 00:16:05,219
You're a bored housewife,
drives a minivan,

424
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:07,274
husband spends a little
too much time online.

425
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:09,911
Got a couple of kids,
a college degree you don't use.

426
00:16:09,912 --> 00:16:11,368
You could not be more wrong.

427
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:13,056
Yes. She has three kids.

428
00:16:13,057 --> 00:16:14,012
Okay, no. No, no.

429
00:16:14,013 --> 00:16:15,902
No, no. No, that's not helping.

430
00:16:16,332 --> 00:16:18,950
Look, as I said before,
it was an accident.

431
00:16:18,951 --> 00:16:21,008
Heard it a thousand times.

432
00:16:21,079 --> 00:16:23,647
Grandmothers, businessmen,
honor students--

433
00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:25,093
they all say the same thing--

434
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,313
"it was an accident.

435
00:16:26,314 --> 00:16:28,427
I don't know how that
clock radio got in my pants."

436
00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:31,495
Oh, for God sake!
I don't feel well. Let us go.

437
00:16:31,496 --> 00:16:32,481
Yeah, right.

438
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,071
Is that even a baby?

439
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,539
'Cause from here,
it looks like a turkey.

440
00:16:38,075 --> 00:16:40,452
I need you to sign this,
admitting your guilt,

441
00:16:40,453 --> 00:16:41,973
and promising you'll never
return to this store.

442
00:16:41,974 --> 00:16:43,301
I'm not signing that.

443
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,260
Okay, great.

444
00:16:44,261 --> 00:16:46,163
- Then I'm gonna call the police
and I'll be forced to-- - Aaah!

445
00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:48,877
What was that?

446
00:16:48,878 --> 00:16:50,598
My water broke!

447
00:16:50,914 --> 00:16:52,506
I'm having the baby!

448
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,841
Hey.

449
00:16:58,516 --> 00:17:00,412
Sorry about that.
I went a little nuts there.

450
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:02,211
I don't know what happened.

451
00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:04,264
I do.

452
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,730
I was ragging on you
in front of your friends.

453
00:17:06,731 --> 00:17:08,506
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry about that.

454
00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,174
I couldn't think
of anything else to say.

455
00:17:11,925 --> 00:17:12,765
Why not?

456
00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:15,430
I got 20, 25 years on those guys.
We got nothing in common.

457
00:17:15,588 --> 00:17:16,885
It's only gonna get worse.

458
00:17:17,405 --> 00:17:19,620
I mean, what's it gonna be like
with the new kid in ten years?

459
00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:21,712
Oh, my goodness.

460
00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:24,228
You're insecure and vulnerable.

461
00:17:24,229 --> 00:17:26,116
This is the cutest thing
I've ever seen.

462
00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:27,179
Shut up.

463
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,451
Who's a shy bunny?

464
00:17:28,452 --> 00:17:30,402
You wanna go one more round,
without the gloves?

465
00:17:30,403 --> 00:17:32,466
I'm just playing around, Jay.

466
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:33,720
I don't care how old you are.

467
00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:35,305
I could sit and talk to you all day.

468
00:17:35,934 --> 00:17:37,036
Those guys really liked you, too.

469
00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:38,186
I don't care about that.

470
00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:40,289
Did they?

471
00:17:41,146 --> 00:17:42,721
- Even Jerry?
- Yes.

472
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:44,665
Well, maybe you're right.

473
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,864
I mean, Manny didn't want
to come, and look at him.

474
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:48,442
Looks like he's having a great time.

475
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:50,856
So then Luke's dad
grabs the taser from me,

476
00:17:50,857 --> 00:17:54,126
- and he was like, "uhh! Uhh!"
- No. No!

477
00:17:54,127 --> 00:17:55,614
That's not how it happened.

478
00:17:56,331 --> 00:17:57,395
Hey.

479
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:00,711
Aah! Ay! Ay! It hurts!

480
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:01,424
Hang in there! Hang in there!

481
00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:02,971
Get you to the hospital
as soon as I can!

482
00:18:02,972 --> 00:18:03,889
- I just want to apologize...
- Uh-huh.

483
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:05,269
One more time
on behalf of the store

484
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:06,681
for any stress that
I might have caused you.

485
00:18:06,682 --> 00:18:08,430
Here, you can keep
the sweatshirt as a gift.

486
00:18:08,433 --> 00:18:10,199
And congratulations on this baby,

487
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,145
which is clearly not a turkey.
That was--

488
00:18:12,146 --> 00:18:14,502
- Go away now!
- Yeah.

489
00:18:14,836 --> 00:18:17,828
- Ay! Ay!
- Okay. Go on. Go on. Get in. Keep going.

490
00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:19,356
What hospital are we going to?

491
00:18:19,357 --> 00:18:22,161
- No! No hospital!
- No hospital. Wow.

492
00:18:22,162 --> 00:18:23,556
Wow, you're one of those, huh?

493
00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:25,309
Okay, please don't have it
in the pool, though.

494
00:18:25,310 --> 00:18:26,622
'Cause we swim in there.

495
00:18:26,727 --> 00:18:28,953
I'm not having the baby, Claire.

496
00:18:28,954 --> 00:18:30,434
I was just faking it.

497
00:18:31,352 --> 00:18:32,361
What?

498
00:18:32,598 --> 00:18:35,738
Not bad for someone 
with pregnancy brain, huh?

499
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:37,826
Okay, that's good.
That was very good.

500
00:18:37,827 --> 00:18:39,350
Good thinking, Gloria.

501
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:41,181
I'm sorry.
I just couldn't sit there

502
00:18:41,182 --> 00:18:42,087
and watch you suffer

503
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,178
just because
you had turned your brain off.

504
00:18:44,179 --> 00:18:45,692
Okay, I deserved that.

505
00:18:46,664 --> 00:18:48,427
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

506
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,722
I just blew through a red light.
Damn.

507
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,130
You think you can keep
the pregnancy thing up

508
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,674
for a little while longer?

509
00:18:55,263 --> 00:18:57,343
Ay! I feel the head!

510
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,646
Feel it! Feel it!

511
00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:00,966
Save it! Save it for the cop! Aah!

512
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:01,966
Save it.

513
00:19:05,365 --> 00:19:07,685
All right, guys, that's it.
Pack it up!

514
00:19:08,585 --> 00:19:11,330
You win for today.
See you on Monday.

515
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:13,010
That's it?

516
00:19:13,011 --> 00:19:14,127
That's it.

517
00:19:14,175 --> 00:19:15,620
So I'll go to city hall on Monday

518
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:16,536
and see what I can do,

519
00:19:16,537 --> 00:19:18,722
but... you did it, Cam!

520
00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:19,971
No, we did it.

521
00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,863
I had to run away,
and you stepped in,

522
00:19:21,864 --> 00:19:24,907
and like an understudy,
you gave a brilliant performance.

523
00:19:24,908 --> 00:19:26,938
Yeah, but you're the star.

524
00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:28,080
Oh, well...

525
00:19:28,455 --> 00:19:31,809
Can we stop doing this
and go home?

526
00:19:31,810 --> 00:19:34,370
Yes, Lily, but I want you
to remember this moment--

527
00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:36,745
the day your daddies
made you proud.

528
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,902
Turn her away, Mitchell!
Turn her away!

529
00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:56,819
Alex, what are you doing here?

530
00:19:57,466 --> 00:20:01,151
Learning a valuable lesson
about karma

531
00:20:01,152 --> 00:20:02,478
and how wrong it is
to take pleasure

532
00:20:02,479 --> 00:20:03,887
in people's embarrassment.

533
00:20:04,255 --> 00:20:06,922
Wow. I don't know
what any of that means,

534
00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:08,845
but you look like hell.

535
00:20:09,228 --> 00:20:11,138
- Say "geek."
- No!

536
00:20:11,679 --> 00:20:13,223
He's a vandalizer!

537
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:19,450
593 likes, and counting.

538
00:20:24,902 --> 00:20:26,366
Who does he belong to?

539
00:20:26,941 --> 00:20:28,172
He's mine.

540
00:20:29,237 --> 00:20:32,095
It was a great ending
to an amazing day.

541
00:20:32,096 --> 00:20:34,704
Look, I even... made the paper.

542
00:20:35,147 --> 00:20:37,827
"Bizarre protest saves park tree."

543
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:39,385
Oh, look what it says.

544
00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:40,903
"This production of 'Cats'
should be put to sleep."

545
00:20:40,904 --> 00:20:41,933
Don't read that.

546
00:20:42,859 --> 00:20:43,898
Don't...

547
00:20:55,897 --> 00:20:56,729
Oh, hey, Gloria.

548
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,617
Listen, I called Jay
about borrowing a drill

549
00:20:58,618 --> 00:20:59,429
for my dresser handles.

550
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:01,016
I got it right here, Cam!

551
00:21:01,017 --> 00:21:02,660
Oh, jeez.
What's with the getup?

552
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,628
Ay, good. You see that, too?

553
00:21:05,596 --> 00:21:06,835
Stella, stop.

554
00:21:06,902 --> 00:21:08,846
Ay, shh, shh, shh.
Sorry, Cam.

555
00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:10,982
Oh, no, don't be.
I take it as a compliment.

556
00:21:13,879 --> 00:21:15,998
"Cats"-- Now and forever.

557
00:21:16,262 --> 00:21:17,859
Actually, just till next Thursday.

558
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,963
It's been described as "transcendent."

559
00:21:19,963 --> 00:21:30,163
Synced by YYeTs, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com