1
00:00:02,463 --> 00:00:04,137
Hey, baby brother!
2
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,373
Let's not insult us both.
How much do you need?
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,742
Mom paid my car insurance this month,
and I told her I'd have it today...
4
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:10,659
- The number, the number.
- $120.
5
00:00:11,538 --> 00:00:13,506
Grandpa got me a job
at his country club,
6
00:00:13,507 --> 00:00:15,983
and I've been cleaning up in tips.
7
00:00:15,984 --> 00:00:17,617
I also like the way those guys talk.
8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,887
There's actually an
ethnic slur for Norwegians.
9
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,656
It's ice [bleep]ers.
10
00:00:22,657 --> 00:00:24,458
Hey, buddy, they canceled my showing,
11
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:25,908
so I can drive you to work.
12
00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:27,405
That looks good. What is it?
13
00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,229
Lobster Thermidor from the country club.
14
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,300
There's also cherries
jubilee in the fridge.
15
00:00:31,325 --> 00:00:32,726
Mmm.
16
00:00:32,793 --> 00:00:34,652
Look at us eating like rich people...
17
00:00:34,677 --> 00:00:35,925
in the '50s.
18
00:00:35,965 --> 00:00:38,276
Hey, Mom! Have a good day at work.
19
00:00:38,301 --> 00:00:41,229
Uh, I already did that. It's 3:30.
20
00:00:41,254 --> 00:00:42,472
How are you just waking up?
21
00:00:42,497 --> 00:00:44,611
I set my alarm for noon. I
must have slept through it.
22
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,313
I was working late promoting a new club.
23
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,624
Oh, by the way, here
is the insurance money.
24
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:50,680
Thank you.
25
00:00:50,705 --> 00:00:53,217
A lot of singles in there. What
exactly do you do at this club?
26
00:00:53,242 --> 00:00:56,540
Oh, right. 'Cause I'm a stripper, Alex.
27
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,397
Oh, my God, do you really
think I'm a stripper?
28
00:00:59,422 --> 00:01:00,460
- No.
- No.
29
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,251
Okay, well, I'm off.
30
00:01:02,276 --> 00:01:04,229
I'm signing up for some business
classes at community college.
31
00:01:04,254 --> 00:01:06,297
Business class, huh?
32
00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:09,933
Sounds like somebody's been influenced
by living under the same roof
33
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:12,210
with a certain captain of industry.
34
00:01:12,235 --> 00:01:14,444
Thank you, honey, but none of my
success would have been possible
35
00:01:14,469 --> 00:01:16,709
without your support as a homemaker.
36
00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:20,374
Sweetheart, while I'm very flattered
by your sudden interest in business,
37
00:01:20,399 --> 00:01:22,857
how about instead of
another class, you get a job?
38
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,248
Get your hands a little dirty, huh?
39
00:01:24,273 --> 00:01:26,352
She could run her hands through
her hair. That would do it.
40
00:01:26,384 --> 00:01:27,671
I've already pre-registered.
41
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:29,294
Also, I signed us up for
that book signing tonight.
42
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:30,835
- You still in?
- Absolutely.
43
00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:32,663
Got my book right here.
44
00:01:32,688 --> 00:01:33,992
Trying to make it look like you read it?
45
00:01:34,017 --> 00:01:35,112
Amateur.
46
00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:49,878
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:53,377
So, I don't really have a job title
48
00:01:53,402 --> 00:01:55,122
or even a set place to work,
49
00:01:55,147 --> 00:01:56,775
so I kind of just float around
50
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,892
and make sure everyone
has what they need.
51
00:01:59,143 --> 00:02:00,159
4:00, Your Honor.
52
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,080
Don't forget to take your medicine.
53
00:02:02,484 --> 00:02:04,501
Well, all these powerful guys.
54
00:02:04,502 --> 00:02:07,137
You can make connections
here that'll last forever.
55
00:02:07,138 --> 00:02:08,138
Not really.
56
00:02:08,139 --> 00:02:09,539
We have a lot of turnover here.
57
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:12,016
That flag outside has been
at half-mast since April.
58
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,017
- Oh.
- That's why we have these.
59
00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:16,479
- Oh. How's that work?
- _
60
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,204
You find a member to sponsor you,
61
00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:19,482
come have some drinks
with the committee,
62
00:02:19,483 --> 00:02:20,750
and they vote a few people in.
63
00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:23,518
Similar process to a secret
cheer society I was in.
64
00:02:23,549 --> 00:02:25,922
Skull and Pom-Poms. I've
said too much already.
65
00:02:25,923 --> 00:02:27,358
Are you thinking of joining?
66
00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:28,935
Both my partners are in clubs.
67
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,094
They've drummed up a lot
of business. Maybe I...
68
00:02:31,095 --> 00:02:32,595
Hey, there's Jay. Maybe he can...
69
00:02:32,596 --> 00:02:33,997
Jay. Jay!
70
00:02:33,998 --> 00:02:35,865
Jay, Jay, Jay!
71
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:37,164
Go, go, go!
72
00:02:37,189 --> 00:02:38,301
Jay, wait up!
73
00:02:38,302 --> 00:02:39,836
I think someone's calling for you.
74
00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:41,337
I didn't hear anything.
What's wrong with this cart?
75
00:02:41,338 --> 00:02:43,840
- You got the brakes on? Go!
- Ow! Your spikes.
76
00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:45,758
Hey, hey, hey! Cramps.
77
00:02:45,783 --> 00:02:48,678
Luke and I just split a Beef
Wellington and clams casino.
78
00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:50,524
Um, I'm wondering if
you'd, uh, sponsor me
79
00:02:50,549 --> 00:02:51,868
for the new-members thing tonight.
80
00:02:51,893 --> 00:02:53,183
Gee, I'd like to, but they got rules
81
00:02:53,184 --> 00:02:55,118
about relatives sponsoring
new members, so...
82
00:02:55,119 --> 00:02:56,519
No, they don't. I just did it.
83
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,648
Gee, they must have changed that.
84
00:02:57,673 --> 00:02:59,622
Oh, great, I'll see you tonight.
What time should I be here?
85
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,123
Oh, I think it starts about 9:30.
86
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,460
No, it'll be over by
then. It starts at 7:00.
87
00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:05,568
- They must have changed that, too.
- Thanks, Jay.
88
00:03:05,593 --> 00:03:06,796
See you at 7:00.
89
00:03:06,797 --> 00:03:08,584
Wait, that was Claire's husband, right?
90
00:03:08,609 --> 00:03:11,011
Yes, it was, Anders,
you stupid ice [bleep]
91
00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:14,726
I haven't had one night
to myself in six months,
92
00:03:14,751 --> 00:03:17,273
but tonight, Manny's going to a party.
93
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:20,143
And if I can get Joe tired
enough to go to sleep,
94
00:03:20,144 --> 00:03:23,713
I can finally relax and
take a long, nice bath.
95
00:03:23,714 --> 00:03:26,683
I even have a wine glass that floats.
96
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:30,220
In case I fall asleep,
nothing bad can happen.
97
00:03:30,221 --> 00:03:32,055
- Ohh.
- Okay, little reindeer,
98
00:03:32,056 --> 00:03:34,157
we didn't get to the North Pole yet.
99
00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:35,158
Ooh.
100
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:38,328
I'm tired of this game.
101
00:03:38,329 --> 00:03:40,797
Well, we need to take
this food to Santa Claus.
102
00:03:40,798 --> 00:03:42,717
If not, he's gonna starve to death.
103
00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:43,966
Which shirt for the party...
104
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,502
the canary or the daffodil?
105
00:03:45,503 --> 00:03:46,552
We're not doing this again.
106
00:03:46,577 --> 00:03:49,339
I just did the herringbone
or the tweed for your vest.
107
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,207
Just pick one and go.
108
00:03:51,208 --> 00:03:53,443
Okay. Oh, well, this needs ironing.
109
00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:55,364
Okay, jump on.
110
00:03:55,739 --> 00:03:58,036
Rudolph, to the laundry room!
111
00:03:58,112 --> 00:03:59,294
Ohh.
112
00:04:00,251 --> 00:04:01,951
I know it's just community theater,
113
00:04:01,952 --> 00:04:03,786
but aren't opening nights so exciting?
114
00:04:03,787 --> 00:04:05,155
Yes, the cream of society
115
00:04:05,156 --> 00:04:06,606
decked out in their finest flip-flops.
116
00:04:06,629 --> 00:04:07,629
Mitchell.
117
00:04:07,654 --> 00:04:09,626
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
118
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,957
I haven't seen you since high school!
119
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:15,573
Uh, yes, it's been
years, huh, uh, T-T-Tammy.
120
00:04:15,598 --> 00:04:18,877
Hey, let me know if you want to roll
around under the bleachers again, doll.
121
00:04:18,902 --> 00:04:20,332
Oh. Oh.
122
00:04:20,357 --> 00:04:22,152
That's weird... I feel like
I would've remembered her.
123
00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:24,035
- Why was she wearing a name tag?
- I don't know.
124
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,508
Oh, there he is!
125
00:04:25,509 --> 00:04:27,887
Remember that time in band when you
dropped your flute in the gutter?
126
00:04:27,912 --> 00:04:29,887
I'm sorry... I never played
the flute or anything...
127
00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:32,129
Ha! Old gutter flute.
128
00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:35,385
Okay, what is going on?
129
00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:36,613
Why is everyone talking to me?
130
00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:38,955
- I think they're just being friendly.
- Cam, oh, my God.
131
00:04:38,956 --> 00:04:41,558
Is... is this one of those
interactive theater experiences?
132
00:04:41,559 --> 00:04:43,693
Oh, do you mean where
the audience participates
133
00:04:43,694 --> 00:04:47,463
and the line between performer and
spectator is delightfully blurred?
134
00:04:47,464 --> 00:04:50,400
Mitchell, we're at a
high-school reunion!
135
00:04:50,401 --> 00:04:52,502
Stop pretending, all
right? You tricked me.
136
00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:53,970
- I did not.
- You always trick me.
137
00:04:53,995 --> 00:04:56,439
Every time we leave the house, it's
like a game of Three-card Monte.
138
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,642
- Interactive theater is fun.
- It's not fun. It's never fun.
139
00:04:59,643 --> 00:05:01,995
It's the worst thing that can
happen to human during peace time.
140
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:03,027
Okay, you know what, Mitchell?
141
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,527
Please, I'm on the board, and
I couldn't not bring my husband
142
00:05:05,552 --> 00:05:07,517
while everyone else's significant other
143
00:05:07,518 --> 00:05:08,952
is happy to be here.
144
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:10,353
It's interactive?
145
00:05:10,354 --> 00:05:11,888
You son of a bitch.
146
00:05:11,889 --> 00:05:13,590
There's a quote for your poster.
147
00:05:18,662 --> 00:05:21,050
- Front door open.
- Ay, no!
148
00:05:21,075 --> 00:05:22,799
Please. Who?! Who?!
149
00:05:23,005 --> 00:05:25,301
Ay, what the hell are you doing here?
150
00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:27,870
I had the most humiliating
experience of my entire life.
151
00:05:27,871 --> 00:05:29,606
I may never leave this house again.
152
00:05:29,607 --> 00:05:32,376
Okay, you're just tired. I'm gonna
make you an espresso, and you go back.
153
00:05:32,401 --> 00:05:33,710
No, I can't go back there.
154
00:05:33,711 --> 00:05:36,446
Did you get in trouble again
for adjusting the lighting?
155
00:05:36,447 --> 00:05:38,915
You're still young. You
can take a bright bulb.
156
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:41,579
I was flirting with Ava Morris,
and I walked into a coffee table
157
00:05:41,604 --> 00:05:45,054
and hit my shin really hard and
started crying in front of everyone.
158
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,623
Bad enough... but then I noticed
159
00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:48,337
I spilled my drink on my crotch area,
160
00:05:48,362 --> 00:05:50,460
creating a very incriminating stain.
161
00:05:50,461 --> 00:05:52,771
I ran to the bathroom and
started drying it with a towel,
162
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:53,896
but the door swung open,
163
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,560
and I was viewed by my classmates
164
00:05:55,585 --> 00:05:57,333
vigorously attending to my groin.
165
00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:59,836
Oh, and did I mention the
picture of Ava's grandmother
166
00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,505
water skiing in a bikini that
was directly in my eye-line?
167
00:06:02,506 --> 00:06:04,441
That happens to everyone sometimes.
168
00:06:04,466 --> 00:06:05,942
You're gonna be fine once you drink...
169
00:06:05,943 --> 00:06:07,310
Ay, no!
170
00:06:07,311 --> 00:06:09,489
Hi, Mama! Hi, Mama! Hi, Mama!
171
00:06:10,014 --> 00:06:11,178
In the workplace
172
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:13,442
we women have been told to suppress it,
173
00:06:13,467 --> 00:06:15,630
contain it, ignore it.
174
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:16,989
Well, you know what I say?
175
00:06:17,014 --> 00:06:18,825
- Grab it!
- Grab it.
176
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:21,043
Alex is not my most expressive child,
177
00:06:21,068 --> 00:06:22,617
but when she enrolled
in a business class
178
00:06:22,642 --> 00:06:24,409
and then signed up for a lecture series
179
00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:26,332
called "Meet the She-E-O,"
180
00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:29,146
it was pretty clear to me
what she was trying to say...
181
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,767
"I admire you, Mom."
182
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,684
- So, what do you think?
- Quiet.
183
00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,024
- I think...
- Stop talking.
184
00:06:34,049 --> 00:06:35,554
I mean, sure, it was tough...
185
00:06:35,555 --> 00:06:37,734
raising three kids
and running a business.
186
00:06:37,759 --> 00:06:40,459
But when the chance to be She-E-O arose,
187
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,884
I had only one thought.
188
00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:44,363
- Grab it!
- Grab it.
189
00:06:44,364 --> 00:06:47,118
- I get it. I grabbed it.
- I will move my seat.
190
00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:49,735
A mother knows how to
read between the lines.
191
00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:52,304
Alex's mouth may have said,
"You're embarrassing me."
192
00:06:52,305 --> 00:06:55,907
But her heart was saying,
"You're inspiring me."
193
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:57,637
"Leave me alone."
194
00:06:57,638 --> 00:06:59,238
"Show me the way."
195
00:06:59,239 --> 00:07:00,860
"Are you still talking?"
196
00:07:00,892 --> 00:07:03,017
"Never stop rocking."
197
00:07:03,195 --> 00:07:05,296
Okay, first question.
198
00:07:05,297 --> 00:07:06,743
Ah, right up front.
199
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,432
Hi. Hi.
200
00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:09,759
Hi, I'm Alex.
201
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,767
Long-time reader,
first-time grabber.
202
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:13,933
Anyway, I'm a biochemistry
major and Caltech,
203
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,642
but your book got me thinking
about a business career.
204
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,703
And now I'm considering double-majoring,
205
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:20,666
but is that taking on a little too much?
206
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:22,156
Alex, look at me.
207
00:07:22,181 --> 00:07:24,498
If you can think it, you can grab it.
208
00:07:24,499 --> 00:07:26,166
Aah! Oh, my God!
209
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,163
You're my hero, Nancy.
Thank you. Thank you.
210
00:07:28,188 --> 00:07:30,118
Who's next? Hmm?
211
00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:32,273
I've got a... just a quick comment.
212
00:07:32,274 --> 00:07:34,507
Um, I also raised three children,
213
00:07:34,532 --> 00:07:37,235
and I am the She-E-O of a large company.
214
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:39,765
And I got to say, it's like
looking a mirror, Nancy.
215
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,344
That's great. What's the company?
216
00:07:41,369 --> 00:07:43,203
Pritchett's Closets and Blinds.
217
00:07:43,204 --> 00:07:45,688
- You sell closets and blinds?
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,381
I could understand shutters
and blinds or closets and...
219
00:07:48,406 --> 00:07:49,673
We're good, Nancy.
220
00:07:49,698 --> 00:07:53,208
What I wanted to talk about
was how on page 1 of your book,
221
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:56,344
you say you had hard time
not bringing your work home.
222
00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:58,146
That was just a joke.
223
00:07:58,147 --> 00:08:00,749
As you remember, my business
was started in my garage.
224
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:01,856
Ah.
225
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:05,738
So, you know how it's not
just family time that matters.
226
00:08:05,763 --> 00:08:08,623
- It's quality family time.
- I agree.
227
00:08:08,624 --> 00:08:11,125
That's why I home-school
all three of my children.
228
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:12,761
The conference table in our boardroom
229
00:08:12,762 --> 00:08:14,896
actually rests on their play structure.
230
00:08:14,897 --> 00:08:17,699
What am I saying? Stand up, kids?
231
00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:19,801
Aww!
232
00:08:20,252 --> 00:08:21,317
So, three daddies?
233
00:08:21,342 --> 00:08:23,538
- You sound insane!
- All right.
234
00:08:24,941 --> 00:08:27,178
Hey, Pritch, isn't that your gay son?
235
00:08:27,514 --> 00:08:28,600
Son-in-law.
236
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,192
You've got a gay son-in-law, too?
237
00:08:30,217 --> 00:08:32,834
I'm not doing this dance
with you guys again.
238
00:08:34,678 --> 00:08:36,618
I don't know what I was worried about.
239
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:38,920
All I had to do was let Phil be Phil.
240
00:08:38,921 --> 00:08:40,655
He'd never get past the vote.
241
00:08:40,656 --> 00:08:43,124
Fortunately, clueless
boobs are one group
242
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:45,861
the Supreme Court can't
force us to let in.
243
00:08:45,862 --> 00:08:47,562
So, tell us about yourself, Phil.
244
00:08:47,563 --> 00:08:50,999
Well, uh, you and I have
something in common, actually.
245
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,501
We're both Congressmen.
246
00:08:52,502 --> 00:08:54,102
Go on, with that, Phil.
247
00:08:54,103 --> 00:08:55,693
You're in the State Congress,
248
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:58,442
and I was in the Junior
Tumbling Congress.
249
00:08:58,467 --> 00:09:00,204
I was in Tumbling Congress.
250
00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:01,395
You trampoline?
251
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:03,473
I'm on my tramp like
three nights a week!
252
00:09:04,427 --> 00:09:06,530
The rest of the time,
I'm... I'm with my wife.
253
00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:16,128
So, I go back to the seller
254
00:09:16,153 --> 00:09:18,253
with an all-cash no-contingency offer
255
00:09:18,278 --> 00:09:19,761
that'd pay off both his mortgages
256
00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:21,183
and leave enough after capital gains
257
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:22,898
to put a down payment on a condo.
258
00:09:22,899 --> 00:09:25,267
I give him an hour or
I'm pulling the offer.
259
00:09:25,268 --> 00:09:27,369
I love this story. It's like a western.
260
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,551
It was a nightmare.
261
00:09:28,576 --> 00:09:31,606
Tumbling stories, bad
jokes, and they ate it up!
262
00:09:31,607 --> 00:09:33,441
I'd say they were being polite,
263
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:35,210
but I've personally
seen two of those guys
264
00:09:35,211 --> 00:09:37,308
hit pedestrians and not even slow down!
265
00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,739
No, true story! True story.
266
00:09:39,764 --> 00:09:40,926
One second.
267
00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:43,318
- These guys are great.
- Listen.
268
00:09:43,319 --> 00:09:46,321
You need one more move to drive
this home, and I'm thinking,
269
00:09:46,322 --> 00:09:49,161
what does Phil bring to
the party no else does?
270
00:09:49,186 --> 00:09:50,206
Magic.
271
00:09:50,231 --> 00:09:51,593
Are you sure? I'm a little rusty.
272
00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:54,097
My money's on you. Go big, then go home.
273
00:09:54,129 --> 00:09:55,628
- Sounded like you said...
- Hey, everybody!
274
00:09:55,653 --> 00:09:57,669
Phil's gonna do a little
magic trick for you.
275
00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:59,198
Okay, uh...
276
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,151
This one is for all of
the lawyers in the room
277
00:10:02,176 --> 00:10:05,574
because you're so good
at making our money...
278
00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:06,942
disappear.
279
00:10:06,943 --> 00:10:08,510
Oh, hold on.
280
00:10:08,511 --> 00:10:09,864
Um...
281
00:10:10,813 --> 00:10:14,049
Congressman Morley,
enough with the taxes.
282
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,117
You don't see us making you pay...
283
00:10:16,118 --> 00:10:17,152
through the nose.
284
00:10:17,153 --> 00:10:19,258
Okay, hold on. Nobody move, I got this!
285
00:10:19,283 --> 00:10:20,465
Oh!
286
00:10:34,279 --> 00:10:36,605
Who am I kidding? I can't fall asleep.
287
00:10:36,606 --> 00:10:38,957
Every car alarm, every
whistle of the wind
288
00:10:38,982 --> 00:10:40,375
sounds like people laughing at me.
289
00:10:40,376 --> 00:10:42,152
It's all in your imagination.
290
00:10:45,014 --> 00:10:46,715
I just want to Netflix and Mom.
291
00:10:46,716 --> 00:10:48,917
Manny, you don't understand.
292
00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:51,786
An hour ago, I had made the perfect tub!
293
00:10:51,787 --> 00:10:53,807
Yeah, thanks again for
that, but it didn't help.
294
00:10:53,832 --> 00:10:55,918
Sugar! I love sugar!
295
00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:57,629
Okay, that is it!
296
00:10:57,654 --> 00:10:59,661
You don't want to go to sleep!
297
00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:01,396
And you don't want to go to the party!
298
00:11:01,397 --> 00:11:02,964
Then I'm canceling the night time!
299
00:11:02,965 --> 00:11:05,467
- Mom?
- You heard me. It's tomorrow.
300
00:11:05,468 --> 00:11:08,381
We're going to school.
Wait for me in the car.
301
00:11:09,099 --> 00:11:10,115
Hey, Jay.
302
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:13,475
- If you get this, please come...
- No one can help you now!
303
00:11:14,795 --> 00:11:16,874
Yo, looks like everyone made it.
304
00:11:16,899 --> 00:11:18,066
But where's Vlad?
305
00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:20,146
The exchange student from Latvia?
306
00:11:20,237 --> 00:11:21,371
I haven't seen him.
307
00:11:21,396 --> 00:11:23,351
I'd love to catch up
with that dreamboat.
308
00:11:23,352 --> 00:11:26,146
So much has happened since high school.
309
00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:28,162
Alcoholism.
310
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:31,691
I tried to find happiness
in the bottom of a bottle.
311
00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:34,333
A shattering depiction
of human suffering.
312
00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:36,492
But enough about how I felt.
313
00:11:36,493 --> 00:11:38,494
I just keep remembering how Vlad and I
314
00:11:38,495 --> 00:11:40,296
had the best time in high school.
315
00:11:40,297 --> 00:11:43,256
For some of us, that
was the last best time.
316
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,235
Vietnam.
317
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:46,402
Oof.
318
00:11:46,403 --> 00:11:48,471
What time period was
all this taking place?
319
00:11:48,472 --> 00:11:50,607
It didn't make any sense.
320
00:11:50,608 --> 00:11:52,818
The way things ended with me and Vlad,
321
00:11:52,843 --> 00:11:54,176
it still haunts me.
322
00:11:54,178 --> 00:11:56,521
A lot of things haunt me.
323
00:11:57,607 --> 00:11:59,315
It was the night of the prom.
324
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:00,817
- Car accident.
- Shh.
325
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:02,418
The roads were very icy.
326
00:12:02,419 --> 00:12:04,687
- Car accident.
- You don't know.
327
00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:07,724
Through the mist, I saw
the truck's headlights.
328
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:11,361
When I came to, the doctor
told me we'd been in a horrible
329
00:12:11,362 --> 00:12:12,660
- ... car accident!
- Car accident.
330
00:12:12,685 --> 00:12:14,506
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
331
00:12:14,531 --> 00:12:16,733
Mitchell, this is the
theater. Have some respect.
332
00:12:16,734 --> 00:12:19,177
All you have to do is
sit there and be quiet.
333
00:12:19,202 --> 00:12:21,570
Tammy, you are never
gonna believe who's here.
334
00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:23,302
- Who?
- Vlad.
335
00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,161
Oh, my God, where?
336
00:12:25,242 --> 00:12:26,792
Out there.
337
00:12:30,132 --> 00:12:33,316
There he is. That's Vlad.
338
00:12:36,512 --> 00:12:38,456
I swear I didn't know
they were gonna pick you.
339
00:12:38,481 --> 00:12:39,681
They probably assumed you were fun
340
00:12:39,682 --> 00:12:41,331
because you were with
me. They didn't know.
341
00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:43,394
Vlad, come up here.
342
00:12:43,548 --> 00:12:45,048
Move your country ass.
I'm... I'm leaving.
343
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:46,183
No, no.
344
00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:47,584
Just go up there, hug Tammy,
345
00:12:47,585 --> 00:12:49,152
and wait for the surprise ending.
346
00:12:49,153 --> 00:12:51,054
I don't care about the surprise ending!
347
00:12:51,055 --> 00:12:52,189
You go be Vlad.
348
00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:54,558
I can't be Vlad because
I am the surprise ending.
349
00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,126
- What?
- And it's a show-stopper.
350
00:12:56,127 --> 00:12:57,347
I've been rehearsing for weeks.
351
00:12:57,372 --> 00:12:59,363
Now, just stop being
selfish and get up there.
352
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:00,721
Just do it!
353
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,132
We all want to get out of here!
354
00:13:02,746 --> 00:13:03,846
Vlad.
355
00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:08,438
I didn't know how, I didn't know when,
356
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:09,773
but I was gonna get him.
357
00:13:09,774 --> 00:13:12,309
Vladdie, sweetie, you're here.
358
00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,269
Oh, you're really here.
359
00:13:14,488 --> 00:13:15,545
Not okay.
360
00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:17,214
Oh, what a happy ending.
361
00:13:17,215 --> 00:13:18,248
I'll say.
362
00:13:19,574 --> 00:13:21,746
Okay, okay. That... that is your gum.
363
00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,186
What a great reunion.
364
00:13:23,187 --> 00:13:25,122
Yeah, everybody made it.
365
00:13:25,123 --> 00:13:26,715
Almost everybody.
366
00:13:26,746 --> 00:13:28,792
- Oh.
- Hello, students!
367
00:13:28,793 --> 00:13:30,661
Janitor Joe!
368
00:13:30,662 --> 00:13:33,263
Or should I say farewell?
369
00:13:33,264 --> 00:13:35,314
All of a sudden, I knew how.
370
00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:38,101
Hello again, students.
371
00:13:38,102 --> 00:13:42,205
Or should I say farewell?
372
00:13:42,206 --> 00:13:43,707
And I knew when.
373
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:47,816
Wait, wait, does... does anybody
else see his ghost right now?
374
00:13:47,841 --> 00:13:48,869
What?
375
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:50,119
Yeah, who could forget
376
00:13:50,144 --> 00:13:52,777
how he courageously
showed up to our 25th
377
00:13:52,816 --> 00:13:55,585
and then... and then died
in front of all of us.
378
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,054
No, I'm about to die right now.
379
00:13:57,055 --> 00:13:58,955
Mm-hmm, in fact, I...
I remember his death
380
00:13:58,956 --> 00:14:01,129
went a little something
like... like this.
381
00:14:01,292 --> 00:14:03,794
I've lived a long life.
382
00:14:03,795 --> 00:14:06,096
- Mitchell, what are you doing?
- Many friends.
383
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:08,198
Oh, my beautiful Bess.
384
00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:12,035
Even took a trip to Washington, D.C.,
385
00:14:12,036 --> 00:14:14,746
and had my picture made
with the Congressman.
386
00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:17,126
Never had any children, of course.
387
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:22,188
Which is why it was so important
that I made it here tonight.
388
00:14:22,213 --> 00:14:24,381
To see each of you.
389
00:14:24,382 --> 00:14:27,590
You are my children!
390
00:14:28,419 --> 00:14:31,655
And I want to leave you
with this one last thing.
391
00:14:31,656 --> 00:14:35,092
- Do not go gentle...
- Do not go gentle into that good night.
392
00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:36,947
Rage!
393
00:14:36,972 --> 00:14:42,748
Rage against the dying of the light!
394
00:14:44,769 --> 00:14:46,941
And I don't feel good either.
395
00:14:49,841 --> 00:14:51,448
Yeah, good save.
396
00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:53,628
Find anything on "Grab It" lady?
397
00:14:53,653 --> 00:14:55,979
"Nancy Decker lawsuit"... nope.
398
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,415
"Nancy Decker nose job"... nope.
399
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:01,353
"Nancy Decker kills..." Oh!
400
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,253
"... at CEO comedy night."
401
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,589
Hello, we're here.
402
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:06,823
- Gloria?
- Haley,
403
00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,751
you remember that day when you said
404
00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:10,548
that if I ever needed a nanny,
405
00:15:10,573 --> 00:15:12,517
you would love to take care of Joe?
406
00:15:12,542 --> 00:15:14,048
- Well, here you go.
- No, no.
407
00:15:14,073 --> 00:15:16,682
You can keep him for as
long as you want. Thank you.
408
00:15:16,738 --> 00:15:19,370
Uh, no, uh, that doesn't
really sound like me,
409
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:21,804
plus I have a 9-to-5 job now, so bye.
410
00:15:21,828 --> 00:15:23,095
Please take me with you.
411
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:24,463
What's going on?
412
00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:25,597
Mama's crazy.
413
00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:27,345
I am not crazy!
414
00:15:27,370 --> 00:15:29,550
I just canceled the night.
415
00:15:29,776 --> 00:15:31,236
Manny, maybe you could help out here.
416
00:15:31,237 --> 00:15:33,138
Mom's upset because
Joe won't go to sleep
417
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:34,639
and I won't go back to a party.
418
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,441
You won't go back to a party? Why?
419
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:39,511
I suffered an unfortunate
series of embarrassing incidents.
420
00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:42,647
I just want a wine
bath and to go to sleep.
421
00:15:43,355 --> 00:15:44,556
Listen up, Manny.
422
00:15:44,557 --> 00:15:45,957
Of course you want to run away
423
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,339
from whatever happened back that party.
424
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:48,518
Anybody would.
425
00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:52,153
But that just guarantees that
it sticks with you forever.
426
00:15:52,154 --> 00:15:56,390
But if you march back
in there and you own it,
427
00:15:56,391 --> 00:15:58,693
you let those people know
that you're better than them,
428
00:15:58,694 --> 00:16:00,695
and you will be a legend.
429
00:16:00,696 --> 00:16:02,296
- Okay.
- Yeah.
430
00:16:02,297 --> 00:16:03,331
Okay.
431
00:16:03,332 --> 00:16:05,666
You, get on the couch, go to sleep.
432
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:07,789
- But I'm not tired.
- Don't care.
433
00:16:07,814 --> 00:16:09,770
Five, four, three...
434
00:16:09,795 --> 00:16:11,406
- Okay, I'm going!
- ...two...
435
00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:12,974
"Okay, I'm going"?
436
00:16:12,975 --> 00:16:16,077
I spend hours trying, and
then you just come one...
437
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:19,013
The only thing I did
was not be their mother.
438
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:22,083
Look, I don't get it either,
but for some reason...
439
00:16:22,413 --> 00:16:24,619
the kids respond better to other adults.
440
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,320
Yeah, but that's not fair.
441
00:16:26,321 --> 00:16:27,984
Well, most of being a parent isn't fair.
442
00:16:28,009 --> 00:16:31,554
Right now, Alex is obsessed with
some CEO business woman author
443
00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:34,617
who's basically an
older-looking version of me.
444
00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:35,999
We're the same age, by the way.
445
00:16:36,024 --> 00:16:37,798
You know that Alex
look up to you, right?
446
00:16:37,799 --> 00:16:39,460
Not by anything she says, no.
447
00:16:39,485 --> 00:16:41,086
Yeah, they never say it.
448
00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:44,939
I guess they think that they're
giving the parents too much power.
449
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:47,708
They find little ways to express it.
450
00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,959
Being a mom is like being a model.
451
00:16:49,984 --> 00:16:52,013
You have to learn how to live on crumbs.
452
00:16:52,038 --> 00:16:53,115
Hmm.
453
00:16:54,429 --> 00:16:56,429
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.
454
00:16:57,853 --> 00:16:59,163
Right.
455
00:17:01,101 --> 00:17:03,858
Honey, I'm so sorry about
the way I was tonight.
456
00:17:03,859 --> 00:17:04,937
It's okay.
457
00:17:04,962 --> 00:17:07,406
I actually got to go
backstage and meet Nancy.
458
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,430
She invited a few of us out for coffee.
459
00:17:09,431 --> 00:17:10,765
Oh, fun.
460
00:17:10,766 --> 00:17:13,134
Yeah, no, uh, not fun, actually.
461
00:17:13,135 --> 00:17:14,374
All she did was talk about herself.
462
00:17:14,399 --> 00:17:16,421
It really just seemed like
she wanted an audience.
463
00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:19,373
And when the check came,
you know what she didn't do?
464
00:17:19,398 --> 00:17:20,656
Grab it.
465
00:17:20,681 --> 00:17:22,374
Sorry. Joe's sleeping in the couch.
466
00:17:22,399 --> 00:17:24,727
Can he stay here?
Okay, thank you so much.
467
00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:28,215
Well, I mean, the night
wasn't a total waste.
468
00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:29,702
After she left, I sat there thinking,
469
00:17:29,727 --> 00:17:31,352
"Why am I taking a
business course anyway?"
470
00:17:31,353 --> 00:17:32,920
I should go out in the
world and do something.
471
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:35,351
So I saw a help-wanted
sign in the coffee shop
472
00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:37,058
and got a job as a barista.
473
00:17:37,059 --> 00:17:38,025
Really?
474
00:17:38,026 --> 00:17:40,007
Yeah, I start tomorrow. I'm excited.
475
00:17:40,032 --> 00:17:41,890
I just thought, why not get out there
476
00:17:41,915 --> 00:17:43,564
and get my hands a
little dirty, you know?
477
00:17:43,565 --> 00:17:44,932
Mm-hmm.
478
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:46,901
Good night.
479
00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:48,413
Good night.
480
00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:57,878
Sauna over here.
481
00:17:57,879 --> 00:17:59,647
Hot tub that way.
482
00:17:59,648 --> 00:18:01,439
Legend has it that the holes
483
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:03,987
in the individual shower
partitions were cigar holders.
484
00:18:04,012 --> 00:18:05,753
At least that's the
story we're sticking to.
485
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:08,245
Follow me, folks.
486
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,901
Ever been in here, Jay?
487
00:18:10,902 --> 00:18:13,933
This looks like a good place
to sweat out some Peach Melba.
488
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:18,909
- Uh-oh.
- What did you do?
489
00:18:20,245 --> 00:18:23,307
I'm stuck. I think there's a wet
towel wedged underneath the door.
490
00:18:23,332 --> 00:18:25,347
- Could you pull on it?
- Is this gonna happen all the time now?
491
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,776
Me babysitting you
every minute of the day?
492
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:30,823
- It won't budge.
- Oh, wait,
493
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:32,620
I think I found the emergency button.
494
00:18:33,254 --> 00:18:35,447
No, no! Okay!
495
00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:37,690
Jay, I'm trying not to panic.
496
00:18:37,715 --> 00:18:40,940
Stand back... I'm gonna throw one of
these emergency rocks through the glass!
497
00:18:40,957 --> 00:18:43,220
Aah-aah! That's hot!
498
00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:44,728
I'm texting the front desk.
499
00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:46,259
Listen, Phil, I can't do this.
500
00:18:46,284 --> 00:18:49,265
- You're leaving me here?!
- No, I can't have you at this club!
501
00:18:49,266 --> 00:18:51,206
This is my place, damn it.
502
00:18:51,378 --> 00:18:52,561
No!
503
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:54,087
I'm sorry, Phil.
504
00:18:54,112 --> 00:18:55,509
Can't you find another club?
505
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:56,839
I mean, look at my life.
506
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,007
I mean, I built my house,
507
00:18:58,008 --> 00:18:59,842
and before I even lived
in it, I got married.
508
00:18:59,843 --> 00:19:00,910
And that's fantastic.
509
00:19:00,911 --> 00:19:02,112
And then I have my study,
510
00:19:02,137 --> 00:19:04,113
where I can close the door
and have a glass of Scotch.
511
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:06,236
And now it's Joe's room,
and that's fantastic.
512
00:19:06,261 --> 00:19:08,197
But this is the only place I have left
513
00:19:08,222 --> 00:19:09,884
that I don't have to
share with my family.
514
00:19:10,979 --> 00:19:12,855
I don't want to be that guy,
but did you send that text yet?
515
00:19:12,856 --> 00:19:14,423
The one place I feel special...
516
00:19:14,424 --> 00:19:16,625
they call me "Ace" and
"Jay Boy" and "Pritch."
517
00:19:16,626 --> 00:19:19,009
I'm not comfortable other places, okay?
518
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,704
But you... you fit in everywhere.
519
00:19:20,729 --> 00:19:22,398
The whole world is your club!
520
00:19:22,399 --> 00:19:24,184
But I have this place!
521
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,825
You get that, right?
522
00:19:32,182 --> 00:19:33,978
Maintenance arrived one minute later
523
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,590
and packed him in ice
from the seafood bar,
524
00:19:35,615 --> 00:19:37,136
and he was as good as new.
525
00:19:38,582 --> 00:19:39,862
How you feeling?
526
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,478
Better.
527
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,322
Jay, I was thinking about
what you said before.
528
00:19:44,347 --> 00:19:47,948
It was so honest and sensitive...
529
00:19:48,003 --> 00:19:49,658
- ... and vulnerable.
- Hey.
530
00:19:49,892 --> 00:19:51,743
No one needs to know about that.
531
00:19:51,768 --> 00:19:53,595
Anyway, this is your club.
532
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:55,251
I'm... I'm dropping out.
533
00:19:55,276 --> 00:19:56,866
Well, you deserve it
just as much as I do.
534
00:19:56,867 --> 00:19:58,267
It's fine.
535
00:19:59,745 --> 00:20:02,032
I can't let you give all this up.
536
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,907
For God's sake, there's the
club chair Fatty Arbuckle
537
00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:06,475
anxiously awaited his verdict.
538
00:20:06,476 --> 00:20:07,939
Jay, I mean it.
539
00:20:07,964 --> 00:20:10,189
Well, at least let me give
you something in return.
540
00:20:10,214 --> 00:20:12,104
- You name it.
- Really?
541
00:20:12,432 --> 00:20:13,949
- Yeah.
- Well...
542
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,352
I don't like how happy
you look right now.
543
00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:18,270
This is living, huh?
544
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,356
How long do we have this thing for?
545
00:20:20,357 --> 00:20:21,775
Only three hours.
546
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:22,958
You saw the sign.
547
00:20:22,959 --> 00:20:24,684
Every bounce counts!
548
00:20:24,709 --> 00:20:25,709
Yes!
549
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:27,517
Get you some! Get it!
550
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:32,038
The way things ended with me
and Vlad, it always haunted me.
551
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:33,881
Cam wasn't wrong about this.
552
00:20:33,906 --> 00:20:36,234
We paid for the whole seat, but
we're only using the edge of it.
553
00:20:36,259 --> 00:20:37,843
You know, I only owe you so much.
554
00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:39,978
You don't get an
unlimited number of these.
555
00:20:39,979 --> 00:20:42,812
Tammy, you are never
gonna believe who's here.
556
00:20:42,837 --> 00:20:44,171
- Who?
- Vlad.
557
00:20:44,196 --> 00:20:46,046
Oh, my God, where?
558
00:20:46,071 --> 00:20:47,519
Out there.
559
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,507
I think might duck
out early. You know...
560
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:52,718
There he is. That's Vlad.
561
00:20:53,025 --> 00:20:54,359
Lucky!
562
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:01,156
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com