1 00:00:03,426 --> 00:00:05,493 Oh, I'm finally here. 2 00:00:05,562 --> 00:00:06,628 Oh, this has been my dream 3 00:00:06,663 --> 00:00:08,196 ever since I saw "An American in Paris." 4 00:00:08,265 --> 00:00:09,430 For me, it was "Amélie." 5 00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:10,965 I made my mom give me that haircut. 6 00:00:11,067 --> 00:00:13,301 Happy Valentine's Day, mon cheri. 7 00:00:13,403 --> 00:00:14,836 Ah, gay Paree. 8 00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:16,538 See, I told you it would be Claire. 9 00:00:16,606 --> 00:00:18,439 - I had my money on Jay. - Sorry, ladies, 10 00:00:18,508 --> 00:00:19,974 I'm in too good a mood. 11 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,242 It's no big deal. 12 00:00:21,310 --> 00:00:23,144 I'm getting a lifetime achievement award 13 00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:26,547 at this year's Expo Internationale du Closet. 14 00:00:26,649 --> 00:00:28,749 Why don't they translate the last word? 15 00:00:28,851 --> 00:00:30,951 I'm sure they have a word for closet. 16 00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,186 They're French. 17 00:00:32,288 --> 00:00:34,155 Maybe they went on strike before they got to the end. 18 00:00:34,707 --> 00:00:39,243 Monsieur Pritchett, welcome to the Crowne Plaza. 19 00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:40,678 I am Bernard Busse, 20 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:43,414 president of the International Closet Guild. 21 00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,149 Mwah! 22 00:00:45,251 --> 00:00:47,718 - Mwah! - Oh, God. He made the sound. 23 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:50,654 And this woman needs no introduction. 24 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,957 You are just as beautiful 25 00:00:53,059 --> 00:00:55,025 as Jay described in his e-mail. 26 00:00:55,127 --> 00:00:57,528 It's a pleasure to meet you, Stella. 27 00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:59,530 Oh, no, no. This is my wife, Gloria. 28 00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:02,032 I-I put you in the e-mail, but then it was too long. 29 00:01:02,134 --> 00:01:04,602 Well, I hope to see you both 30 00:01:04,704 --> 00:01:06,937 at the cocktail reception in an hour. 31 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,739 À bientôt. 32 00:01:09,305 --> 00:01:10,307 Adiós. 33 00:01:10,309 --> 00:01:12,276 'Cause that's what we need. A third language. 34 00:01:12,378 --> 00:01:14,078 We have an hour. We should go sightseeing. 35 00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:15,713 - Maybe check out Notre Dame. - No, thank you. 36 00:01:15,815 --> 00:01:18,349 I saw it back in the day, before it was a shell of itself. 37 00:01:18,451 --> 00:01:20,150 Seeing it again would only depress me. 38 00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:21,652 Yeah, I know what you mean. 39 00:01:21,754 --> 00:01:23,254 That's why I can't shop at Sears. 40 00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:25,389 Manny, why don't you go and check us in 41 00:01:25,491 --> 00:01:27,057 since you disgraced this family 42 00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:29,627 by learning French instead of Spanish. 43 00:01:29,729 --> 00:01:31,695 And get that room that they promised me. 44 00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:33,964 Apparently some earl once slept there. 45 00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:35,399 We're so proud of you, Dad. 46 00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:38,135 Thanks. I only wish my old man could be here to see this. 47 00:01:38,237 --> 00:01:39,270 You know, it's funny. 48 00:01:39,372 --> 00:01:41,238 He stormed the beaches of Normandy, 49 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:42,806 and I'm getting a closet award. 50 00:01:42,909 --> 00:01:44,241 We keep topping each other. 51 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,543 Who knows what Joe will do? 52 00:01:46,612 --> 00:01:48,178 Hey, w-what are you doing now? 53 00:01:48,281 --> 00:01:49,947 Well, you know, it's Valentine's Day, 54 00:01:50,016 --> 00:01:51,248 so I think I'm gonna enjoy 55 00:01:51,317 --> 00:01:53,851 the most romantic city in the world with my husband. 56 00:01:53,953 --> 00:01:56,653 - Mm. - Oh. Sorry. 57 00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:59,323 Phil can't come to Paris because he has to work. 58 00:01:59,391 --> 00:02:02,526 It stinks, but I am still gonna have so much fun 59 00:02:02,595 --> 00:02:03,860 visiting all my favorite places 60 00:02:03,929 --> 00:02:05,962 from the semester I spent there in college. 61 00:02:05,981 --> 00:02:07,013 Real-estate emergency. 62 00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:08,982 Um, broker/client confidentiality 63 00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:10,517 fobids me from discussing it. 64 00:02:11,126 --> 00:02:13,420 The stuff I've seen... you do not want to know. 65 00:02:13,522 --> 00:02:14,688 Correct. 66 00:02:14,723 --> 00:02:17,290 Look, if you want, and you don't feel too awkward 67 00:02:17,392 --> 00:02:19,425 about being a third wheel, maybe... 68 00:02:19,477 --> 00:02:21,277 Ugh! Pity invite from Mitchell? 69 00:02:21,346 --> 00:02:23,613 How the tables have turned. 70 00:02:23,682 --> 00:02:24,687 No, merci. 71 00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:26,516 I'm gonna go find my favorite café, 72 00:02:26,585 --> 00:02:29,418 have a glass of wine, and try not to be sad that I'm all alone. 73 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,393 Okay, great. Have fun. 74 00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:32,021 Bye. 75 00:02:32,123 --> 00:02:34,724 Ooh-la-la. 76 00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:46,904 Modern Family S11E13 Paris Original Air Date on Feb 12, 2020 77 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,495 You know, I heard the bread here 78 00:02:49,575 --> 00:02:51,236 is healthier than the kind we have back home. 79 00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:52,875 Well, how is that possible? Bread is bread. 80 00:02:52,977 --> 00:02:54,810 You would think, but it's actually the way 81 00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:56,011 that the grain is, um... 82 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,748 No, no, it's... It's the way that the... the ovens... 83 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:01,150 Okay, look, I'm gonna have a lot of bread while we're here. 84 00:03:01,252 --> 00:03:02,506 I need it to be okay. 85 00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,186 I am so sorry. 86 00:03:04,288 --> 00:03:05,354 I think I'm jet-lagged. 87 00:03:05,456 --> 00:03:06,722 You know what? I might take a nap 88 00:03:06,824 --> 00:03:09,258 while you go out and... explore. 89 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,392 Ooh! Oh. 90 00:03:10,395 --> 00:03:12,928 What was that? W-Why did your bag honk? 91 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:14,897 I think that was a phone. You know, that's how they ring here. 92 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,067 Will somebody answer that? Hmm? Hmm? 93 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,168 Don't be mad. 94 00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:20,569 Fizbo? 95 00:03:20,671 --> 00:03:22,705 My sweaters were too bulky to pack, 96 00:03:22,807 --> 00:03:24,073 but Fizbo made the cut? 97 00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:26,108 Oh, come on. You know it's always been my dream to... 98 00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:28,778 to bring the magic of Fizbo to the streets of Paris. 99 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,945 You're not jet-lagged. 100 00:03:29,947 --> 00:03:32,615 You were gonna sneak out and go clown around. 101 00:03:32,717 --> 00:03:34,617 You know that's not how we say it. It's "clown about." 102 00:03:34,719 --> 00:03:35,818 I-I can't believe you lied to me. 103 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,353 Well, I can't believe I had to. 104 00:03:37,455 --> 00:03:39,889 You know, most clowns have spouses that are supportive. 105 00:03:39,991 --> 00:03:42,625 I'm not convinced most clowns have spouses. 106 00:03:44,862 --> 00:03:46,862 Claire was about to meet 107 00:03:46,964 --> 00:03:49,999 Clive Bixby's French cousin, Claude. 108 00:03:50,101 --> 00:03:51,467 The plan was simple enough. 109 00:03:51,569 --> 00:03:53,402 All I did was create a fake work emergency 110 00:03:53,504 --> 00:03:56,005 and wait for Claire at her favorite café. 111 00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:59,542 Welcome to France. What is the purpose of your visit? 112 00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:00,709 L'amour. 113 00:04:00,812 --> 00:04:02,144 Just answer the question, sir! 114 00:04:02,246 --> 00:04:03,546 Oh, I'm s-so sorry. 115 00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:05,014 Um, business... 116 00:04:05,116 --> 00:04:06,982 of l'amour. 117 00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:17,960 It helps to add a little sugar... 118 00:04:18,062 --> 00:04:19,161 Claude. 119 00:04:19,263 --> 00:04:20,830 Oh. Thank you, but th... 120 00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:22,498 this is, uh, not my real name. 121 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:24,800 It's my romantic alter ego. 122 00:04:24,902 --> 00:04:26,535 I'm surprising my wife. 123 00:04:26,637 --> 00:04:27,803 Not bad. 124 00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,004 For an American. 125 00:04:29,106 --> 00:04:30,439 Oh, really? You can do better? 126 00:04:31,976 --> 00:04:35,878 Many years ago, I met a woman in this very café. 127 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:39,114 We had a brief but passionate affair, 128 00:04:39,217 --> 00:04:41,283 spending our days exploring Paris 129 00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:43,052 and our nights... 130 00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:44,887 exploring each other. 131 00:04:44,989 --> 00:04:46,222 Mm. 132 00:04:46,324 --> 00:04:47,723 Well, I-I once took a woman 133 00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:50,693 to both Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm. 134 00:04:50,795 --> 00:04:52,595 In the same day. 135 00:04:53,865 --> 00:04:56,232 On the day we parted... 136 00:04:56,334 --> 00:05:00,703 we promised to meet here on this Valentine's Day 137 00:05:00,805 --> 00:05:02,538 to rekindle our love. 138 00:05:02,607 --> 00:05:03,764 Who knows? 139 00:05:04,175 --> 00:05:06,509 The chances of her even remembering... 140 00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:07,843 Oh, mon dieu. 141 00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:11,080 - Claire! - Claire! 142 00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:14,383 Mmm. 143 00:05:14,751 --> 00:05:15,758 Bonjour. 144 00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:16,785 Hello. 145 00:05:17,588 --> 00:05:18,687 - Oh! - Oh. 146 00:05:18,756 --> 00:05:20,163 I'm... I'm so sorry. 147 00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:22,501 "Sorry"? H-How did you know I speak English? 148 00:05:22,726 --> 00:05:24,259 Have a nice visit. 149 00:05:27,464 --> 00:05:28,496 Excusez-moi. 150 00:05:28,565 --> 00:05:31,299 Um... ou se trouve, um... 151 00:05:31,368 --> 00:05:32,734 What are you looking for? 152 00:05:32,836 --> 00:05:34,202 Mona Lisa? McDonald's? 153 00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,336 Both are that way. 154 00:05:35,405 --> 00:05:38,606 Heads up, the portions here are normal-size. 155 00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:41,109 H-How did you know I'm American? Is my accent that bad? 156 00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:45,079 We're dressed the same. 157 00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:47,015 There's no reason to attack me. 158 00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:56,674 Hey. Where's Jay? 159 00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:58,142 I think he's nervous. 160 00:05:58,210 --> 00:06:00,711 He has changed his outfit three times. 161 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:03,881 If this is what it's like to be married to me, it's no picnic. 162 00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:07,084 We have a problem. I have to show you something. Come here. 163 00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:09,520 Burl Saunders! 164 00:06:09,588 --> 00:06:11,455 Close. Earl Chambers. 165 00:06:11,557 --> 00:06:13,223 Jay isn't getting the award. 166 00:06:13,292 --> 00:06:15,459 He's accepting it on behalf of his ex-partner, Earl. 167 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:16,593 What? 168 00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:17,728 How? 169 00:06:17,997 --> 00:06:19,129 When the Expo called, 170 00:06:19,198 --> 00:06:21,632 Manny talked to them because he speaks French. 171 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,900 At least, he thought he did. 172 00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,169 In my defense, the French word for "hotel room" 173 00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:27,638 sounds a lot like "chamber." 174 00:06:27,706 --> 00:06:28,905 Oh, oui, oui. 175 00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,441 They said you're putting you up in the royal suite. 176 00:06:31,510 --> 00:06:33,419 It used to be some earl's chamber. 177 00:06:33,454 --> 00:06:36,546 That's closet people for you... class all the way! 178 00:06:36,565 --> 00:06:38,531 Ah. He's here. What do we do? 179 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,433 Nothing. Tell him the truth. 180 00:06:40,535 --> 00:06:42,769 Jay's a grown man. He can handle it. 181 00:06:42,838 --> 00:06:44,237 Okay, but if he goes for my throat, 182 00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,039 be ready to dial neuf, un, un. 183 00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:48,975 That language. It's like a bunch of horses talking. 184 00:06:51,396 --> 00:06:54,096 Look at this place. Everybody's here. 185 00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:56,899 Heinrich Muler of Berlin Closet-stadt, 186 00:06:56,968 --> 00:07:00,403 Susan Sadaki from Tokyo Closets and Canned Whale Meat. 187 00:07:00,471 --> 00:07:01,771 It's a regular who's who. 188 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,873 Yeah, even when you say all their names. 189 00:07:03,942 --> 00:07:05,041 You know, I gotta tell you, 190 00:07:05,143 --> 00:07:07,043 this award couldn't have come at a better time. 191 00:07:07,145 --> 00:07:09,845 With my closet company gone, sometimes it feels like 192 00:07:09,948 --> 00:07:12,281 I don't have anything to show for a lifetime of work, 193 00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:13,516 like it didn't matter. 194 00:07:13,618 --> 00:07:15,017 But now I know it did. 195 00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:16,919 Yes. 196 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,087 Wait here. 197 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,373 I'll be right back. 198 00:07:21,189 --> 00:07:24,393 New plan... I'm getting him out of here, keeping him busy. 199 00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:26,529 You go and talk to the closet people. 200 00:07:26,631 --> 00:07:28,664 Make them give him an award. 201 00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,534 Any kind of award. He won't know the difference. 202 00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:33,135 - How? - Bribe them. 203 00:07:33,237 --> 00:07:35,137 Blackmail them. Seduce them. 204 00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:37,006 Have I taught you nothing? 205 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,677 Phil? 206 00:07:40,678 --> 00:07:42,420 - Claire. - Claire? 207 00:07:42,659 --> 00:07:45,410 Guy? Oh, my God. What are you doing here? 208 00:07:45,479 --> 00:07:46,711 Claire, you know this Guy? 209 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:49,114 Well, um... I used to. 210 00:07:50,284 --> 00:07:52,083 What are you both doing here? 211 00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:54,119 I came to surprise you on Valentine's Day. 212 00:07:54,154 --> 00:07:55,887 You know the guy on the plane with all the face bandages? 213 00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,848 - That was me. - Oh. 214 00:07:57,991 --> 00:07:59,390 Claire, do you not remember 215 00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:01,526 asking me to meet you here in this café 216 00:08:01,628 --> 00:08:04,395 exactly 30 years after we parted? 217 00:08:04,414 --> 00:08:05,846 Vaguely. 218 00:08:05,915 --> 00:08:08,416 I-I-I was crazy to think this could work out. 219 00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:12,019 Of course a woman as magnificent as you is married. 220 00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,557 I don't want to interfere with your day of romance. 221 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,559 I will wander our old haunts alone 222 00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,861 and return to my hotel 223 00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:23,809 in the ghostly embrace of our memories. 224 00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,616 - Adieu, Claire. - Okay, cool. Bye. 225 00:08:26,719 --> 00:08:28,418 - Yeah. - Let's go. 226 00:08:30,189 --> 00:08:32,789 - Alright, big day. Lots of plans. - Mm. 227 00:08:32,891 --> 00:08:35,659 First things first, getting into character. 228 00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:36,662 Oh. 229 00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,562 Claude Bixby, 230 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:41,031 mustard magnate with a flair for... 231 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:42,466 Uh, Phil... Claude... 232 00:08:42,568 --> 00:08:44,668 I-I love that you're doing all of this, 233 00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:46,403 but doesn't some tiny part of you 234 00:08:46,505 --> 00:08:49,139 feel guilty for ditching Guy? 235 00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:54,344 I mean, he did wait for me for 30 years. 236 00:08:54,412 --> 00:08:56,112 We could invite him for a glass of wine. 237 00:08:57,182 --> 00:08:58,214 Fine. 238 00:08:58,283 --> 00:09:00,183 But I'm warning you, if he gets out of line, 239 00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:01,884 - Claude knows karate. - Mm. 240 00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:04,187 And Krav Maga. He's Jewish on his mother's side. 241 00:09:04,289 --> 00:09:05,388 Ooh. 242 00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,061 Let's go this way, to the museum. 243 00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:10,927 Are you sure? I think they're expecting me back inside. 244 00:09:10,996 --> 00:09:12,161 Make them wait. 245 00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:15,965 Why do you think the brides arrive after everyone else? 246 00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,032 You're the bride. 247 00:09:17,035 --> 00:09:18,200 Yeah, I'm the bride. 248 00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:19,568 - Alright, let's... - No, no, no. 249 00:09:19,637 --> 00:09:20,736 You know what? It's this side. 250 00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:22,071 - So, tomorrow... - No, no! 251 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,340 You know what? I'm sorry. It's this way. 252 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,243 - Are you kidding me?! - What?! 253 00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:29,578 How beautiful! 254 00:09:34,085 --> 00:09:35,217 Bonjour. 255 00:09:35,319 --> 00:09:36,619 B-Bonjour. 256 00:09:38,155 --> 00:09:40,088 Bonjour. 257 00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,924 Hunh-hunh. 258 00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:43,625 Oh. 259 00:09:43,694 --> 00:09:44,760 Pardon. Excusez-moi. 260 00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:46,195 Hunh-hunh! 261 00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:52,301 - Bonjour. - Ooh. 262 00:09:52,403 --> 00:09:54,369 - Une table pour un, monsieur? - Uh, ehh. 263 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:01,776 Oh, Claire, remember that time 264 00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:04,012 when we snuck into the cellar of that wine bar? 265 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:06,815 Oh, God, we were so crazy and so young! 266 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,316 Not anymore. What's that, Grandma? 267 00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:09,419 She's a grandma now. 268 00:10:10,064 --> 00:10:12,320 Oh! Well, there's nothing more beautiful 269 00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,422 than a life creating life, which in turn... 270 00:10:14,491 --> 00:10:15,723 Creates more life. 271 00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:19,427 Well, uh... Claire and I should get going. 272 00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:20,961 I was hoping to get up to Sacre Coeur 273 00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,329 to get a view of the whole city. 274 00:10:22,432 --> 00:10:23,531 No need. 275 00:10:23,599 --> 00:10:26,033 I have a rooftop garden suite at The Peninsula. 276 00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:27,334 It's the best view in town. 277 00:10:27,403 --> 00:10:29,136 How perfect is this? 278 00:10:29,238 --> 00:10:31,806 Frustratingly! 279 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,441 Alright. Here we go. 280 00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:36,743 Let's see here. 281 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:37,911 Oh. 282 00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:39,179 Bonjour. 283 00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:41,548 In a few minutes, I'm going to be performing in the square. 284 00:10:41,617 --> 00:10:44,051 Je m'appelle Fizbo. 285 00:10:46,822 --> 00:10:48,455 Lui, c'est Fizbeau. 286 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:50,424 - What? - He is Fizbeau! 287 00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,326 Fizbeau, okay? 288 00:11:01,436 --> 00:11:04,470 Guy, this suite is so beautiful. 289 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,172 I think the last time we were in Paris, 290 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,241 we had a franc between the two of us. 291 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,577 Oh, God! Who's Frank? 292 00:11:10,645 --> 00:11:12,812 I've been lucky in business, 293 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,447 less so in love. 294 00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:17,616 I guess it's turned me into a workaholic. 295 00:11:17,685 --> 00:11:21,587 I must be in the office 10, 12 hours a week. 296 00:11:21,656 --> 00:11:23,122 Shall we have some champagne? 297 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,256 Uh, no, thank you. 298 00:11:24,325 --> 00:11:25,858 I'm not really in the mood for champagne. 299 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,360 Lucky for us, because there are only two glasses. 300 00:11:28,723 --> 00:11:31,997 - Ah. - Allow me to make a toast. 301 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,766 - To Phil. - Aw. 302 00:11:34,835 --> 00:11:36,601 For allowing me to spend a bit more time 303 00:11:36,704 --> 00:11:38,503 with the most generous lover I've ever... 304 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,672 Okay! I see what you're doing here. 305 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,642 The champagne, the hotel suite, that carousel ride. 306 00:11:43,677 --> 00:11:46,678 You two stopped laughing every time I circled around. 307 00:11:47,197 --> 00:11:49,898 I'm sorry, buddy, but it's not gonna happen. 308 00:11:49,966 --> 00:11:52,000 Phil's right. I'm a married woman. 309 00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:54,436 There will be no romance on this trip. 310 00:11:54,504 --> 00:11:56,538 I'm sorry. I've been a fool. 311 00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:59,808 I guess I let myself indulge in a fantasy more than I should. 312 00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:04,378 Please, let us all pretend this... 313 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:05,613 never happened. 314 00:12:05,715 --> 00:12:06,881 Wait. 315 00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,816 Was that Poulanc's misdirect? 316 00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,384 Indeed. 317 00:12:10,486 --> 00:12:11,385 Oh. 318 00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:12,887 A fellow prestidigitator? 319 00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:13,965 Yes! 320 00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:15,957 Put her there. 321 00:12:17,227 --> 00:12:18,426 Your watch, sir? 322 00:12:18,494 --> 00:12:19,827 - Looking for this? - What?! 323 00:12:19,929 --> 00:12:21,028 Oh, no way! 324 00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:22,763 We should bounce. 325 00:12:22,815 --> 00:12:25,033 Tell me you're going to visit Le Musée des Magiciens 326 00:12:25,068 --> 00:12:25,483 while you're here. 327 00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:26,650 - Ohh. - The Museum of Magicians? 328 00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:27,952 I'm dying to go, but they're closed 329 00:12:28,054 --> 00:12:29,286 Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays... 330 00:12:29,355 --> 00:12:31,016 and Mondays and Wednesdays. 331 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,689 Not if you know the owner. 332 00:12:32,758 --> 00:12:34,224 I can get us a private tour. 333 00:12:34,293 --> 00:12:36,293 Sweet! Claire, what do you say? 334 00:12:36,295 --> 00:12:37,661 We can pretend to saw you in half. 335 00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:38,950 Or just do it. 336 00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:42,532 Hello. Hi. Hi. Excuse me. 337 00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:43,834 Why are you dressed like that? 338 00:12:43,936 --> 00:12:45,268 Imposteur! 339 00:12:45,337 --> 00:12:46,536 Tu es un imposteur! 340 00:12:46,638 --> 00:12:48,305 You're... You're the imposteur... 341 00:12:48,373 --> 00:12:50,207 if that word means what I think it means. 342 00:12:50,309 --> 00:12:51,334 He'd stolen Fizbo. 343 00:12:51,343 --> 00:12:52,676 The whimsically mismatched plaids, 344 00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,177 my trademark bold splash of pink, 345 00:12:54,246 --> 00:12:55,479 my blue lip! 346 00:12:55,797 --> 00:12:58,331 He'd clearly seen one of my online clown tutorials! 347 00:12:58,433 --> 00:13:00,333 Hey, guys. Fizbo again. 348 00:13:00,435 --> 00:13:02,369 Just remember when you're applying your rouge to go easy. 349 00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:03,937 You're an Auguste clown, not a tramp. 350 00:13:05,107 --> 00:13:06,742 You know what? Give me the jacket. 351 00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:07,807 Oh! I... 352 00:13:07,809 --> 00:13:09,245 I should've seen that coming. 353 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,744 Donne moi ce mouchoir! 354 00:13:14,563 --> 00:13:16,832 - Touché, monsieur! - You know what? Give me my wig. 355 00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:19,135 And that's when it hit me. 356 00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:20,365 Ooh! 357 00:13:21,272 --> 00:13:22,805 "The Clowns of Europe." 358 00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:24,740 I got this when I was a teenager. 359 00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,842 It was my "Sergeant Pepper's." 360 00:13:26,911 --> 00:13:29,244 Clown after clown pushing the envelope, 361 00:13:29,313 --> 00:13:31,013 including Fizbeau. 362 00:13:31,115 --> 00:13:33,515 B-E-A-U! 363 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,517 Here, I thought I'd come up with the idea, but he was right. 364 00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:37,419 I was the imposteur. 365 00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:38,587 If that's the word. 366 00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:40,089 For my high school language requirement, 367 00:13:40,191 --> 00:13:41,523 I took auction-calling. 368 00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:48,663 Isn't Napoleon's tomb spectacular? 369 00:13:48,682 --> 00:13:51,683 Just so you know, when I go, I-I don't need all this. 370 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,387 Look. That's Manny over there. 371 00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:56,621 No, no. 372 00:13:56,723 --> 00:13:58,123 I'll go get him. 373 00:14:01,695 --> 00:14:02,828 How did it go? 374 00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,729 Are they giving Jay an award? 375 00:14:04,832 --> 00:14:07,299 No. They said it would set a very dangerous precedent. 376 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:08,600 And in perfect English. 377 00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:10,035 Turns out this whole misunderstanding 378 00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:11,303 was completely avoidable. 379 00:14:11,405 --> 00:14:12,838 We need to figure out something. 380 00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:14,673 Jay can never find out 381 00:14:14,775 --> 00:14:17,542 that Earl got an award instead of him. 382 00:14:19,002 --> 00:14:20,011 Wow. 383 00:14:20,013 --> 00:14:21,146 Look at this place. 384 00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:23,648 The craftsmanship, the architecture. 385 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,917 They say the domed ceiling acts as a whisper chamber. 386 00:14:26,019 --> 00:14:28,019 What does "whisper chamber" mean? 387 00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:30,522 It means I heard everything you just said. 388 00:14:30,624 --> 00:14:32,390 I have to turn my TV up to 40, 389 00:14:32,493 --> 00:14:34,025 but that was loud and clear! 390 00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:41,032 Ah. 391 00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:42,800 Hunh-hunh. 392 00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:43,912 Mm-hmm. Mm. 393 00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:46,604 - Ah. - Merci. 394 00:14:46,706 --> 00:14:47,805 Oh. 395 00:14:47,874 --> 00:14:49,207 It was easy to fit in. 396 00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:52,110 All I had to do was look good and have a lot of attitude. 397 00:14:52,179 --> 00:14:54,012 Paris was just like one big gay bar. 398 00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:56,147 - Et voilà. - Ah. 399 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,385 Votre pigeon, monsieur. 400 00:15:00,453 --> 00:15:01,753 "Pigeon"? 401 00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:03,021 Notre spécialité. 402 00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,155 - Ah. - Bon appétit. 403 00:15:04,257 --> 00:15:05,623 Yah. 404 00:15:07,394 --> 00:15:08,960 Yaaaaah. 405 00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:18,135 No. I can't... I can't do it. 406 00:15:18,237 --> 00:15:19,670 I can't do it. I'm not French. 407 00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:21,305 And I-I'm not eating that. 408 00:15:21,374 --> 00:15:23,674 This scarf is driving me crazy! 409 00:15:24,811 --> 00:15:25,876 E-Excusez-moi... 410 00:15:25,878 --> 00:15:26,977 Cheeseburger, that way. 411 00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,412 Cool. Thanks, man! 412 00:15:30,716 --> 00:15:32,016 Wow. 413 00:15:32,118 --> 00:15:34,485 It's amazing how much magic they got out of those old wands. 414 00:15:34,587 --> 00:15:37,054 Today, magicians have it so easy, you know? 415 00:15:37,156 --> 00:15:38,322 Oh, yeah. 416 00:15:38,391 --> 00:15:41,291 Well, this basically feels like a natural breaking point, 417 00:15:41,394 --> 00:15:42,526 for me, at least. 418 00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:45,161 Uh, Phil and I should probably... you know? 419 00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:46,613 If you must, but our tickets 420 00:15:46,682 --> 00:15:48,915 also get us to Le Musée des Automates. 421 00:15:48,984 --> 00:15:51,151 They're like robots, but very primitive. 422 00:15:51,220 --> 00:15:52,853 They basically do nothing. 423 00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:55,755 Um, like the one I built out of old mufflers? 424 00:15:55,774 --> 00:15:56,796 Can we, Claire? 425 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,225 Oh, yes, can we, Claire? 426 00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:00,817 Excuse me. 427 00:16:01,229 --> 00:16:02,262 Hey, Gloria. What's up? 428 00:16:02,264 --> 00:16:03,496 I have a problem. 429 00:16:03,555 --> 00:16:04,557 Yeah, so do I. 430 00:16:04,566 --> 00:16:05,932 Apparently, I'm into nerds. 431 00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:07,267 It's Jay. 432 00:16:07,369 --> 00:16:08,902 He's not getting that award. 433 00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:10,303 What?! 434 00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:11,938 It was some kind of mistake, 435 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,173 he found out, and now we can't find him. 436 00:16:14,242 --> 00:16:16,275 Oh, my God. Okay, I-I'll be right there. 437 00:16:16,377 --> 00:16:17,877 Are you sure it's okay? 438 00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:20,113 Uh, yeah, it's more than okay. 439 00:16:23,419 --> 00:16:24,951 Hey. 440 00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:26,785 Hey. 441 00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,187 H-How did you find me? 442 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,155 Well, you're pretty easy to spot. 443 00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,291 Look, I-I'm sorry I overreacted, okay? 444 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:35,527 If you want to be Fizbo, be Fizbo. 445 00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:37,362 I can never be Fizbo again. 446 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,897 Fizbo is dead. 447 00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:40,165 Oh, you're a moving target. 448 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,568 Look, I ran into the real Fizbo today, 449 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,269 and he squirted me in the face with water 450 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,571 and hit me in the head with a book. 451 00:16:45,573 --> 00:16:46,582 What?! 452 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,657 See, here, I thought I had created 453 00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:49,858 this special, unique thing, 454 00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,728 but I'm the one that's been a fraud all this time! 455 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,097 I'm throwing the suit in the river! 456 00:16:55,199 --> 00:16:56,398 Wait. 457 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,533 That's littering. There's a trash can right over here. 458 00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,318 Wait! 459 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,086 Look, I-I gotta say, um... 460 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,389 I don't... I don't think you stole anything. 461 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:05,623 What do you mean? 462 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,625 Well, you said he hit you in the head with a book. 463 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,994 I mean, I thought Fizbo was all about joy. 464 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,297 He is. He's the embodiment of childlike innocence. 465 00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:13,398 Exactly. 466 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,967 Fizbo would never resort to violence. 467 00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,203 This guy doesn't sound like Fizbo to me. 468 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,471 Well, he sure looked like him. 469 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,106 Fizbo's more than just a-a pair of big shoes 470 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,609 and an... un-sexy jacket. 471 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:25,910 He... He's an idea. 472 00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:27,879 If I've learned anything today, 473 00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:29,981 it's that clothes do not make the man... 474 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,315 or the clown. 475 00:17:31,837 --> 00:17:34,151 And you are the real Fizbo. 476 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,321 - You mean it? - I know. 477 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,522 Now, come on. 478 00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,558 Let's enjoy Paris. It's Valentine's Day. 479 00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:42,760 Mwah. 480 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:43,967 Come on. 481 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,896 Where did you get this crazy get-up? 482 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,498 People are gonna stare. 483 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,903 So... what was your favorite part of the robot museum? 484 00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,171 Oh, man. 485 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,639 I can't decide. You go first. 486 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:56,907 No, you'll just copy me. 487 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,742 I do that. 488 00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:02,279 Well, let's, uh, let's just say it at the same time. 489 00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,280 On three. 490 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:04,815 One, two, three. 491 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,783 The mechanical monkey band. 492 00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:07,858 - Le jinx! - Jinx! 493 00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:09,686 Double jinx. 494 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,055 Ohhhh. 495 00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:13,523 Pour vous deux. 496 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,259 O-Oh, my God. It's a painting! 497 00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,494 Of us! 498 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,795 Merci. 499 00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:20,997 - Merci beaucoup. - Merci. 500 00:18:21,637 --> 00:18:23,600 Is my... hand on yours? 501 00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:26,469 Yeah, but I-I don't... think we did that. 502 00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:32,191 Well, um, I better... better go find Claire. 503 00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:33,660 Of course. Yes. 504 00:18:33,728 --> 00:18:35,295 Okay. W-Weird. I guess this is goodbye. 505 00:18:35,397 --> 00:18:36,963 You... You should have this. 506 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,665 Keep it. 507 00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:41,000 You'll give it to me in 30 years. 508 00:18:41,102 --> 00:18:42,590 In our café. 509 00:18:43,053 --> 00:18:44,170 I'll be there. 510 00:18:46,606 --> 00:18:48,908 Au revoir... Guy. 511 00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:57,883 Hey. 512 00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,451 I talked to Gloria. 513 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,186 Thought I might find you here. 514 00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:05,224 It's a shame, Notre Dame. 515 00:19:05,326 --> 00:19:06,792 The fire. 516 00:19:06,894 --> 00:19:07,926 Yeah. 517 00:19:07,995 --> 00:19:10,362 It used to be so impressive back in its day. 518 00:19:10,464 --> 00:19:13,131 It's still pretty impressive. 519 00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:16,134 Just a shell of its former self. 520 00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,203 Best days are behind it. 521 00:19:19,907 --> 00:19:21,840 It'll never be the same. 522 00:19:23,944 --> 00:19:27,746 It's taken some hits, but it's still standing, 523 00:19:27,848 --> 00:19:30,163 and that's... that's grit. 524 00:19:30,198 --> 00:19:32,350 That's what inspires people. 525 00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:34,319 That's what inspires me. 526 00:19:35,388 --> 00:19:37,255 It's so embarrassing. 527 00:19:37,324 --> 00:19:38,923 The whole reason the family's here 528 00:19:38,992 --> 00:19:40,525 is to see me get that damn award. 529 00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:41,693 Oh, Dad! 530 00:19:41,761 --> 00:19:43,328 You and I are the only ones in this family 531 00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:45,229 who care about closets. 532 00:19:45,298 --> 00:19:47,598 We're here because we love you. 533 00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:51,102 Come on. Let's go get ready for that dinner. 534 00:19:56,742 --> 00:20:00,711 45 years is a long time to spend in one industry, 535 00:20:00,813 --> 00:20:02,646 and I've accomplished a lot. 536 00:20:02,748 --> 00:20:04,615 The whisper hinge brought serenity 537 00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:06,116 to the American bedroom. 538 00:20:06,185 --> 00:20:10,187 My glow knobs revolutionized getting dressed in the dark. 539 00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:11,856 And I led the charge 540 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,092 to standardize the angle of shoe racks. 541 00:20:15,194 --> 00:20:18,929 But the thing that I'm... that I'm proudest of... 542 00:20:19,031 --> 00:20:20,097 is my family. 543 00:20:21,601 --> 00:20:23,968 Thank you for being here. 544 00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:25,736 I love you all. 545 00:20:27,707 --> 00:20:29,807 You're my lifetime achievement award. 546 00:20:29,909 --> 00:20:32,042 - Oh! Thanks, Dad. - That's so sweet. 547 00:20:32,144 --> 00:20:33,177 We love you, too. 548 00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:34,311 We love you, Jay. 549 00:20:34,313 --> 00:20:35,513 Claire Pritchett? 550 00:20:36,616 --> 00:20:37,982 Jean-Luc?! 551 00:20:40,052 --> 00:20:43,087 I had a lot of fun here in college. 552 00:20:43,189 --> 00:20:44,288 What are you doing here? 553 00:20:44,390 --> 00:20:46,023 Um... how are you? 554 00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,909 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com