1
00:00:01,125 --> 00:00:05,203
Aww, goodbye, drawer dedicated
to batteries and takeout menus.
2
00:00:05,598 --> 00:00:07,019
And goodbye, wall dent,
3
00:00:07,055 --> 00:00:09,993
from when we thought Lily
was a trombone prodigy.
4
00:00:10,884 --> 00:00:12,234
Mitchell!
5
00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:14,589
That was your last
eye roll in this house!
6
00:00:14,668 --> 00:00:15,788
You know what, when the new baby comes,
7
00:00:15,824 --> 00:00:17,200
can you not do it as much?
8
00:00:17,236 --> 00:00:19,677
Because, you know,
you did it around Lily a lot, and...
9
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,131
Okay... hey, hey, no, no, no.
Don't throw those away.
10
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,171
I-I might want to use those
11
00:00:24,207 --> 00:00:26,251
for my big baby reveal to the family.
12
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,746
If he's bald, I can do
a whole Elton John thing.
13
00:00:28,825 --> 00:00:29,864
Not only are we moving,
14
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:32,376
but we're adopting a baby
that's due in two weeks.
15
00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:35,693
And that is stressing me out
because eleven years ago,
16
00:00:35,729 --> 00:00:37,807
I revealed Lily with "The Lion King,"
17
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,266
and there's a lot of pressure...
18
00:00:39,302 --> 00:00:40,836
- Self-imposed.
- ...to top myself.
19
00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:43,655
So, I've been workshopping a few ideas.
20
00:00:43,722 --> 00:00:46,022
I hope everyone here likes...
21
00:00:46,116 --> 00:00:47,174
baby!
22
00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:49,857
I can see that taking
everyone's breath away, no?
23
00:00:49,955 --> 00:00:52,854
Uh, I'm more concerned about
the city taking our baby away.
24
00:00:56,775 --> 00:01:01,775
- Subtitles by explosiveskull
corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,988
Okay, the repair guys are
gonna be here in five minutes.
26
00:01:08,338 --> 00:01:09,802
I can't believe I'm saying this,
27
00:01:09,838 --> 00:01:11,384
but we might actually
be getting away with...
28
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:14,084
- Hey!
- Hey! What are you guys doing home?
29
00:01:14,134 --> 00:01:15,410
Yeah, I thought you went
to that beach cleanup.
30
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,520
Well, we tried,
but the beach yoga people
31
00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:19,230
wouldn't even move a hundred feet down.
32
00:01:19,305 --> 00:01:21,084
You'd think they'd have
been a little more flexible.
33
00:01:21,152 --> 00:01:22,297
Oh, Phil.
34
00:01:22,372 --> 00:01:24,452
The good news is,
we're back and we are here
35
00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:26,430
to help you set up
for the twins' Easter party.
36
00:01:26,474 --> 00:01:27,590
Um, we're good.
37
00:01:27,626 --> 00:01:28,882
Anyway, we got this covered.
38
00:01:28,946 --> 00:01:30,905
And you guys had such a long morning,
39
00:01:30,987 --> 00:01:32,848
why don't Gamma and Grampy grab a nap
40
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,915
so that they're fresh
for the party, huh?
41
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:35,970
Okay.
42
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,693
- Okay.
- But I...
43
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,384
It's all good. We got it.
44
00:01:39,439 --> 00:01:40,525
Last weekend, Mom and Dad
45
00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:42,302
went to the artichoke
festival in Monterey.
46
00:01:42,338 --> 00:01:43,601
And Dylan's mom had the twins,
47
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,777
so we took the opportunity
to have a little party,
48
00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,722
just to see if we still had it in us.
49
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:48,808
We did.
50
00:01:48,836 --> 00:01:50,532
I'm trackin' the pizza guy,
51
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,293
the pizza guy, the pizza guy!
52
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:53,973
His name is Ibrahim!
53
00:01:54,009 --> 00:01:56,824
Don't forget the garlic knots,
garlic knots, garlic knots!
54
00:01:56,877 --> 00:01:59,412
Yo! This party is the GOAT.
55
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:00,713
Greatest of all time.
56
00:02:00,749 --> 00:02:02,471
I'm Doug,
your across-the-street neighbor.
57
00:02:02,507 --> 00:02:04,372
I was just curbin' my bins,
heard the party noise,
58
00:02:04,408 --> 00:02:05,745
thought I'd join up.
59
00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:07,009
Want a refill on that?
60
00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:09,659
There is no scenario where
I accept a drink from you.
61
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:10,753
Lit.
62
00:02:12,371 --> 00:02:15,763
Nice to see the Dunphy name
still carries some party clout.
63
00:02:15,991 --> 00:02:17,072
Ah!
64
00:02:17,209 --> 00:02:18,864
You know,
we're running low on jungle juice.
65
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:21,152
Just soak it up with a towel
and wring it back into your cup.
66
00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:23,311
Mm. Okay.
67
00:02:23,347 --> 00:02:24,455
Cool!
68
00:02:24,491 --> 00:02:25,507
What kind is that?
69
00:02:25,543 --> 00:02:27,503
Uch. Can I have one conversation tonight
70
00:02:27,539 --> 00:02:30,048
without someone asking
me about my snake?
71
00:02:30,296 --> 00:02:32,198
Ohh! Good Lord!
72
00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:34,872
- What happened?!
- I slipped on that drink you spilled.
73
00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:37,953
Oh! Hurt my ankle really bad.
74
00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:40,921
I mean, I don't want to sue you,
but I don't really see any other option.
75
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,067
Do you?
76
00:02:43,351 --> 00:02:45,039
So now I work for Doug.
77
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,267
Hey, everybody!
78
00:02:47,351 --> 00:02:49,220
Ibrahim has arrived, has a...
79
00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:54,076
Don't stare at it! Put it out!
80
00:02:56,111 --> 00:02:57,697
We made some temporary fixes
81
00:02:57,733 --> 00:02:59,181
and scheduled repairs for today,
82
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:01,477
when Mom and Dad said
they'd be at the beach.
83
00:03:01,513 --> 00:03:03,064
Then they came home early.
84
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,912
It's just hard when you
can't trust family members.
85
00:03:06,274 --> 00:03:09,001
"Don't Gamma and Grampy
want to take a nap?"
86
00:03:09,037 --> 00:03:10,282
That's not insulting to you?
87
00:03:10,913 --> 00:03:11,914
Phil.
88
00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,801
- Phil!
- I... wasn't sleeping. I was listening.
89
00:03:13,837 --> 00:03:17,043
And g-good for you. That is...
That is a lot of steps for one day.
90
00:03:17,128 --> 00:03:19,172
I was talking about the kids.
91
00:03:19,222 --> 00:03:21,026
They're treating us
like actual grandparents
92
00:03:21,111 --> 00:03:22,719
instead of the... the...
93
00:03:22,755 --> 00:03:25,386
premature grandparents we clearly are.
94
00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,421
I'm the only one in
my aqua aerobics class
95
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,006
who doesn't need two noodles.
96
00:03:29,655 --> 00:03:32,682
I put the eggs in a cute
basket for the Easter egg hunt.
97
00:03:32,718 --> 00:03:34,634
- I saw it in a magazine.
- Cute.
98
00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:35,937
- Haley.
- Oh, no.
99
00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:37,857
Honey, your dad and I
didn't feel like taking a nap.
100
00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:39,338
Why don't you give us
a job for the party?
101
00:03:39,423 --> 00:03:41,548
Uh, well, we could use
some help dyeing these eggs.
102
00:03:41,619 --> 00:03:43,306
But why don't you change
for the party first?
103
00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:44,998
- Oh, good idea!
- Yes!
104
00:03:45,068 --> 00:03:46,825
Phil, wakey, wakey!
105
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,217
Okay, we got sixty seconds, people.
106
00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:49,314
We gotta move fast. Come on. Come on.
107
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:50,517
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
108
00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:52,329
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
109
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,871
Come on, move faster!
110
00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:56,760
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
111
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,568
Would you hurry it up a little bit?
112
00:03:58,604 --> 00:04:02,174
Oh, come on!
Get out of here now! Go, go, go!
113
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:04,386
Thank you so much.
I love you guys so much. Bye!
114
00:04:05,086 --> 00:04:07,816
Okay. I think
we actually got away with it.
115
00:04:07,852 --> 00:04:10,101
- Oh, no.
- I have to stop saying that.
116
00:04:10,137 --> 00:04:12,718
That dude from the party said
that his python was pregnant.
117
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,056
Do you think those could be her eggs?
118
00:04:14,092 --> 00:04:15,740
Oh, my God!
119
00:04:15,776 --> 00:04:17,238
Is one of them hatching?
120
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:18,312
- That's so disgusting!
- Ohh.
121
00:04:18,348 --> 00:04:19,731
We have to cancel the party!
122
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,197
What? No way! We just got back in
with this parent group
123
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,084
after our daughter's biting spree.
124
00:04:24,152 --> 00:04:25,690
If they didn't love
their kids being gummed
125
00:04:25,726 --> 00:04:27,545
by an adorable toddler,
I don't think they're gonna
126
00:04:27,581 --> 00:04:29,479
love their kids getting
punctured by a python!
127
00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:30,663
Calm down.
128
00:04:30,699 --> 00:04:32,616
Snakes lay all their eggs
in one dark place.
129
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,739
I've got them all here.
I'm gonna run them by the pet store.
130
00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:36,307
Oh, my God. Is one of them moving?
Get them out of here.
131
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,978
They're so gross.
Gross, gross, gross, gross.
132
00:04:40,074 --> 00:04:42,538
Hey, where you running off to,
little buddy?
133
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,843
And where are you
running off to, big buddy?
134
00:04:51,661 --> 00:04:52,969
Hey, stranger!
135
00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:55,471
Going out again?
I barely see you these days.
136
00:04:55,507 --> 00:04:57,641
I'd love to hang out, Jay,
but I've got a wine club meeting.
137
00:04:57,677 --> 00:04:59,412
What, are you into wine? I love wine!
138
00:04:59,505 --> 00:05:01,157
- Okay. See ya.
- Wait a minute!
139
00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:02,427
I'm gonna open a bottle later on.
140
00:05:02,463 --> 00:05:04,759
Why don't you bring one
and we'll have a little tasting?
141
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:05,978
I guess I wouldn't mind that.
142
00:05:06,037 --> 00:05:07,894
I'll stop by the store on my way back.
143
00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:10,621
While you're there, would you be
a prince and pick me up a soda?
144
00:05:10,699 --> 00:05:11,945
I've got homework.
145
00:05:12,026 --> 00:05:13,097
Where'd you get a fifty?
146
00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:14,450
Don't worry about it.
147
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,000
Welcome to your new house!
148
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:22,298
I don't remember this room
feeling so stark and cold.
149
00:05:22,381 --> 00:05:24,816
Luckily this is a smart house.
150
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:27,137
Adam, warm light mode.
151
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:28,328
Initiating.
152
00:05:28,364 --> 00:05:29,630
- Oh!
- Oh, no... no!
153
00:05:29,718 --> 00:05:31,955
No, that just brings out the
molding around the windows.
154
00:05:32,077 --> 00:05:34,761
I... Does it feel like
we're in a nursing home?
155
00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:36,378
Adam, party mode!
156
00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:37,689
Initiating.
157
00:05:38,595 --> 00:05:40,904
Oh, God. No!
No, that's... that's even worse.
158
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,167
I'm... I'm sorry, I just...
159
00:05:42,203 --> 00:05:44,282
I don't feel like I've ever
been in this house before.
160
00:05:44,362 --> 00:05:45,702
Adam, I swear to God!
161
00:05:45,776 --> 00:05:46,827
Initiating.
162
00:05:46,918 --> 00:05:48,515
Did we just make a huge mistake?
163
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:50,021
Mitchell, you know you hate change.
164
00:05:50,109 --> 00:05:51,284
Remember when you shaved your beard?
165
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,941
You screamed in the mirror,
"Oh, my God, you look hideous!"
166
00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:55,026
That was you.
167
00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:58,310
I mean, you have been
a crab all day long.
168
00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,592
How do you know?
You haven't even been around us!
169
00:06:00,702 --> 00:06:02,190
I took a crazy guess.
170
00:06:02,284 --> 00:06:04,329
Look, this is buyer's remorse.
171
00:06:04,399 --> 00:06:07,624
I learned that from my mentor,
Phil Dunphy,
172
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:09,128
and I know how to fix it.
173
00:06:09,531 --> 00:06:11,401
Come with me if you want to live...
174
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,600
in this house...
and not be a bummer to everyone.
175
00:06:14,636 --> 00:06:16,352
Lily, you need to help me
start unpacking.
176
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:18,440
We need to work on my baby reveal.
177
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:20,521
Adam, thinking mode.
178
00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:21,865
Initiating.
179
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:30,309
I know it sounds crazy, but it works.
180
00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:32,813
In order to accept the new house,
181
00:06:32,849 --> 00:06:35,598
you have to properly say
goodbye to this place.
182
00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:37,961
Okay, I'm not talking to a house. Okay?
183
00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,072
And... And why are the movers
just sitting out there?
184
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,132
Don't worry about them.
I'll handle them.
185
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,599
I used to be a mover.
186
00:06:43,638 --> 00:06:46,649
I kind of fell into it when
I helped an ex-boyfriend
187
00:06:46,714 --> 00:06:48,821
steal his brother's refrigerator.
188
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:51,190
Okay, wait, so you've been a cab driver,
a hairdresser,
189
00:06:51,226 --> 00:06:53,591
a spokesmodel, and a mover.
190
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,168
I-Is your life real?
191
00:06:55,228 --> 00:06:56,441
Is anything real?
192
00:06:56,543 --> 00:06:58,196
That was a question that I asked myself
193
00:06:58,260 --> 00:07:00,470
when I was a philosophy professor.
194
00:07:00,923 --> 00:07:03,978
Now, say goodbye to the house.
195
00:07:04,071 --> 00:07:06,911
Tell it how much it meant to you.
196
00:07:06,996 --> 00:07:09,944
Be honest with each other,
like two lovers
197
00:07:10,008 --> 00:07:13,491
that know that the time has come
when they must part ways.
198
00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:14,588
Okay, well, usually, I would just
199
00:07:14,624 --> 00:07:16,199
take my gym membership off his keychain
200
00:07:16,244 --> 00:07:17,481
and then introduce him to my mother.
201
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,539
Hey, house.
202
00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:25,136
Hey, you humps!
203
00:07:25,217 --> 00:07:26,739
We're paying you by the hour!
204
00:07:26,775 --> 00:07:28,020
We're on a coffee break, lady.
205
00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:29,460
Oh, don't give me that.
206
00:07:29,496 --> 00:07:30,849
I used to do your job.
207
00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:34,164
And this attitude,
this is why people hate movers.
208
00:07:34,255 --> 00:07:36,052
That and all the stealing.
209
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:37,939
Whoa! You think you can do better?
210
00:07:38,409 --> 00:07:40,243
I hate to burst your bubble wrap,
211
00:07:40,279 --> 00:07:41,941
but I know I can.
212
00:07:42,034 --> 00:07:44,566
We actually double booked today,
so this works out.
213
00:07:44,652 --> 00:07:46,584
- Have at it.
- Oh, no, no, no, no! Ay, wait!
214
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:49,011
Come back, humps!
215
00:07:49,114 --> 00:07:50,170
What are you doing with the cat?
216
00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:54,065
Okay, don't worry. On the day,
I will replace Larry with the baby.
217
00:07:54,101 --> 00:07:56,067
Once the family is all
seated around the table,
218
00:07:56,131 --> 00:07:58,175
I'll undo the security rope
219
00:07:58,328 --> 00:08:00,370
and then let the baby
hover above the table
220
00:08:00,406 --> 00:08:02,323
for all the family to marvel at.
221
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,030
Wait. Phone's ringing.
222
00:08:05,261 --> 00:08:06,484
Hello?
223
00:08:06,604 --> 00:08:08,457
Yes, speaking.
224
00:08:08,493 --> 00:08:09,640
What?
225
00:08:12,109 --> 00:08:13,140
No!
226
00:08:16,378 --> 00:08:18,486
Oh, honey, did you just take a sip
from the paintbrush water?
227
00:08:18,522 --> 00:08:20,758
I think I'd know if I did, Claire.
228
00:08:20,857 --> 00:08:23,516
Oh! This must be
the grandparents' table!
229
00:08:23,552 --> 00:08:25,041
- I wouldn't say that.
- No, I d... I don't think...
230
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:28,689
These are the kids' grandparents,
Gamma and Grampy.
231
00:08:28,756 --> 00:08:30,406
Oh, nice to meet you.
232
00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:32,168
I'm Meemaw. This is Bobo.
233
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,291
Have you met GimGim and Mimsy?
234
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,109
Oh, you know what?
Why don't you take our seats?
235
00:08:36,145 --> 00:08:37,963
I think we're at the wrong table.
236
00:08:37,999 --> 00:08:39,249
Oh! My back!
237
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,068
Oh, it happens to me all the time.
238
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:42,105
Oh.
239
00:08:42,163 --> 00:08:44,588
I'm gonna get you
the name of these shoes.
240
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,195
Doug, I have cooked for you,
241
00:08:46,282 --> 00:08:47,672
spray tanned you,
242
00:08:47,762 --> 00:08:50,025
taken two of your sign spinning shifts.
243
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:51,951
Are we seriously not even yet?
244
00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:53,632
I think you're making
too big a deal about this.
245
00:08:53,693 --> 00:08:55,526
I just need you to dress up
like Harley Quinn
246
00:08:55,608 --> 00:08:57,936
and give a foot massage
to the winner of my game night.
247
00:08:57,993 --> 00:08:59,045
Don't worry.
248
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,426
I'm gonna win.
249
00:09:03,257 --> 00:09:06,358
And get this, Gerald fell again.
250
00:09:06,481 --> 00:09:07,624
Wrist this time.
251
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,367
That man's got more pins in him
than a tailor's mouth.
252
00:09:11,558 --> 00:09:13,966
He never learned
how to fall the right way.
253
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:16,544
- Too proud.
- Wait, there's a right way to fall?
254
00:09:16,604 --> 00:09:18,136
Really? A follow-up?
255
00:09:18,172 --> 00:09:21,784
Resist the temptation
to break the fall with the hands.
256
00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:23,371
Land on your bottom.
257
00:09:23,436 --> 00:09:25,640
Aim for the meat, not the bone.
258
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:26,926
Oh... Mimsy!
259
00:09:28,594 --> 00:09:30,209
See? Good as new.
260
00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:32,385
My dear husband, such a gentleman.
261
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:35,481
He always opens the bathtub door for me.
262
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,824
Yeah. Would you excuse us just a second?
263
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:42,764
'Cause she was.
264
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:43,899
It's not good.
265
00:09:43,935 --> 00:09:46,019
Oh, totally!
266
00:09:46,055 --> 00:09:47,581
We're just remembering
something that happened
267
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,521
on our last Negroni crawl in Frogtown.
268
00:09:49,557 --> 00:09:51,121
Oh, Frogtown!
269
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,835
- Oh, "Bird on a bird!"
- "Bird on a bird!"
270
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,291
Oh, you all got the TikTok invite
271
00:09:55,327 --> 00:09:56,908
Bridget from Quibi sent out
for her matcha pop-up
272
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,418
on Thursday, right?
273
00:09:58,454 --> 00:10:00,789
- You guys down?
- Oh, yeah, that sounds...
274
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,540
frosty.
275
00:10:03,315 --> 00:10:04,361
Small hiccup.
276
00:10:04,423 --> 00:10:06,572
When I got to the pet store,
I was down one python egg,
277
00:10:06,643 --> 00:10:08,169
- which means...
- There's one still here.
278
00:10:08,205 --> 00:10:10,345
Yeah, and I just checked
the living room, and it's not there.
279
00:10:10,381 --> 00:10:12,489
Okay, nuggets! Everyone outside!
280
00:10:12,618 --> 00:10:14,406
It's time for the egg hunt!
281
00:10:15,411 --> 00:10:17,423
Hey. Small hiccup.
282
00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:19,027
Now it's time for the bottle I brought.
283
00:10:19,063 --> 00:10:20,207
Unh-unh-unh!
284
00:10:20,297 --> 00:10:22,308
Fresh glasses.
285
00:10:22,344 --> 00:10:25,829
This, my friend,
is a 2009 Chateau Trotanoy.
286
00:10:25,865 --> 00:10:27,236
You might want to cinch your belt up.
287
00:10:27,272 --> 00:10:29,047
It's liable to blow your trousers off.
288
00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:31,109
Mm.
289
00:10:31,649 --> 00:10:33,393
- It's nice.
- "Nice"?
290
00:10:33,463 --> 00:10:34,949
I understand why you would like it,
291
00:10:34,985 --> 00:10:37,076
but... this is what my wine club friends
292
00:10:37,154 --> 00:10:38,422
would call "an obvious choice."
293
00:10:38,492 --> 00:10:41,298
I get it. You haven't developed
a taste for fine wine yet.
294
00:10:41,362 --> 00:10:42,727
Um, I hate to say it,
295
00:10:42,763 --> 00:10:45,018
but I probably know more
about wine than you do.
296
00:10:45,114 --> 00:10:47,054
Two months ago, you couldn't drink rosé
297
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:48,737
unless it was mixed with Snapple.
298
00:10:49,159 --> 00:10:50,672
There's only one way to settle this...
299
00:10:50,708 --> 00:10:52,754
are you up for a little
blind taste test?
300
00:10:52,848 --> 00:10:53,569
Bring it.
301
00:10:53,605 --> 00:10:57,576
Joe, go to the wine cellar,
pick out five random bottles.
302
00:10:57,655 --> 00:10:59,316
- We have a wine cellar?
- What's a wine cellar?
303
00:10:59,352 --> 00:11:00,514
You were my first.
304
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:02,807
And we'd both been through so much.
305
00:11:02,843 --> 00:11:04,194
I mean, I was neurotic.
306
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,351
You had a-a bathroom off the kitchen.
307
00:11:07,387 --> 00:11:09,635
But we both found each other.
308
00:11:10,072 --> 00:11:11,767
Anyway, I...
309
00:11:11,803 --> 00:11:14,486
I-I-I feel like, um,
I have to say something.
310
00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:16,137
It's not you. It's... It's me.
311
00:11:16,173 --> 00:11:17,719
I just, um...
312
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:19,426
I need more space.
313
00:11:20,686 --> 00:11:22,795
But we could still
remember the good times.
314
00:11:22,831 --> 00:11:24,266
Um, like... like when I first moved in
315
00:11:24,302 --> 00:11:25,948
and all I had was that boombox.
316
00:11:27,551 --> 00:11:30,006
Yeah, um... what do you say? Yeah.
317
00:11:30,099 --> 00:11:31,713
Huh?
318
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:33,416
One more time?
319
00:11:34,930 --> 00:11:41,086
♪ Now I've had the time of my life ♪
320
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:45,191
♪ No, I never felt like this before ♪
321
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:49,765
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
322
00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:52,237
What do you say? Huh?
323
00:11:52,273 --> 00:11:53,837
Takes you right back, right?
324
00:11:53,934 --> 00:11:55,587
To Valentine's Day 2003...
325
00:11:56,384 --> 00:11:57,997
and four.
326
00:11:58,111 --> 00:12:00,831
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
327
00:12:00,909 --> 00:12:01,852
Gloria was right.
328
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:04,818
Once I said goodbye,
I was able to embrace this new house
329
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,597
and spend the next few weeks
getting ready for the baby.
330
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,396
I just needed closure.
331
00:12:09,498 --> 00:12:10,948
And... And s... And so did the drapes.
332
00:12:10,984 --> 00:12:14,307
Because the... the dancing got, uh...
g-got pretty dirty.
333
00:12:14,877 --> 00:12:21,544
♪ Because I've had the time of my life ♪
334
00:12:21,638 --> 00:12:25,765
♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪
335
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,008
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
336
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,386
- ♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
- Mitchell!
337
00:12:32,456 --> 00:12:34,015
The baby's here. He's early.
338
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:35,775
What? I-I'm not ready!
339
00:12:35,811 --> 00:12:36,839
Well, get ready.
340
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,180
And we will be discussing why you were
341
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,883
"Time-of-my-Life-ing" without me.
342
00:12:45,171 --> 00:12:47,714
The uneducated palate would
identify this as a Cabernet,
343
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,276
when, in fact,
it is a Merlot from Bordeaux.
344
00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,285
- Correct.
- Oh! Lucky guess.
345
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:54,452
In my twenties, I befriended
346
00:12:54,488 --> 00:12:57,073
a sommelier from Paris... Marcel Caron.
347
00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:58,697
In fact, I went to stay with him.
348
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,045
We'd drink wine all night
and fall asleep
349
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:04,513
to the sound of an accordion
on the Rue de Montparnasse.
350
00:13:04,597 --> 00:13:07,359
Much like this wine,
that story has too many fruity notes.
351
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,421
Next glass.
352
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,573
And... sip.
353
00:13:13,746 --> 00:13:15,719
Mm.
354
00:13:15,833 --> 00:13:20,130
That is a mature Napa Valley Cabernet.
355
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,960
- Correct.
- Unh! Eat that, old man!
356
00:13:21,996 --> 00:13:23,822
You know,
you don't have to spike the football
357
00:13:23,858 --> 00:13:25,208
every time you get an answer right.
358
00:13:25,244 --> 00:13:27,239
Only you could make talking about wine
359
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:28,936
into something obnoxious.
360
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:30,810
Score is tied, two-two.
361
00:13:30,885 --> 00:13:32,654
Time now for the final wine.
362
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,338
And to reveal the answer...
363
00:13:40,374 --> 00:13:41,587
Wait a minute.
364
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:42,644
Maybe we shouldn't.
365
00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:44,511
Before we turned this
into a competition,
366
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:46,717
we were both having fun, right?
367
00:13:46,816 --> 00:13:48,652
We were doing something we both liked.
368
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,430
It did occur to me that
this whole afternoon,
369
00:13:50,466 --> 00:13:52,499
neither one of us
checked our watch once.
370
00:13:52,592 --> 00:13:54,577
And if we flip this over,
one of us is gonna feel bad
371
00:13:54,613 --> 00:13:55,571
and it could ruin the thing.
372
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:58,105
I mean, let's face it,
we don't have a ton in common,
373
00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:01,031
but today I saw
a little bit of me in you.
374
00:14:01,302 --> 00:14:03,184
You can be a competitive jerk.
375
00:14:03,231 --> 00:14:04,888
And based on that summer in Paris story,
376
00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:07,323
you can be kind of a sensitive,
even perfumy type of...
377
00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:08,474
That'll do.
378
00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:10,489
Look, when you get back from your trip,
379
00:14:10,525 --> 00:14:12,224
why don't we make this a thing?
380
00:14:12,326 --> 00:14:14,388
We'll have a wine
tasting once a month...
381
00:14:14,489 --> 00:14:16,050
without the competition.
382
00:14:16,585 --> 00:14:17,586
I'm in.
383
00:14:23,382 --> 00:14:24,695
Damn it!
384
00:14:26,456 --> 00:14:28,342
Competitive bastard.
385
00:14:28,436 --> 00:14:30,767
Oh, I love that kid.
386
00:14:32,782 --> 00:14:34,446
Time to face facts, honey.
387
00:14:34,535 --> 00:14:36,777
It's the grandparent's table for us.
388
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,859
- Grandpa Phil, huh?
- Mm.
389
00:14:38,929 --> 00:14:41,388
Guess I could get used
to shaving naked at the gym.
390
00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:42,481
Mm.
391
00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,947
The hardest part is, our kids
aren't gonna need us anymore.
392
00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:47,378
And it does means we raised them right.
393
00:14:47,414 --> 00:14:50,480
On the bright side, one of them actually
vacuumed the living room rug,
394
00:14:50,516 --> 00:14:52,114
and... looks brand new.
395
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,437
- Guys, help!
- Don't listen to her! I need you more!
396
00:14:54,499 --> 00:14:55,971
- I spilled my drink at the party, and Doug came
- We had a huge party, and a snake guy came,
397
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,866
- and slipped and hurt his ankle, and now
- and the snake laid eggs, and it accidentally
398
00:14:57,902 --> 00:14:59,427
- he's gonna sue us unless I...
- got mixed in with the Easter eggs... - Shut up!
399
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,780
Mom, I know you told me not
to buy expensive sunglasses
400
00:15:01,816 --> 00:15:03,126
because I'd only lose them,
but then I...
401
00:15:03,213 --> 00:15:04,492
They're on your head.
402
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,580
Oh. Cool.
403
00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:10,098
Hey! You find it?
404
00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:11,186
No, but I just realized
405
00:15:11,222 --> 00:15:13,910
why they call rolling two ones
with dice "snake eggs."
406
00:15:13,974 --> 00:15:14,994
That's snake eyes.
407
00:15:15,094 --> 00:15:16,563
Oh. Then what did I realize?
408
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,195
Don't worry. I got this.
409
00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:19,342
What's with the bunny suit?
410
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:21,330
Well, I needed a plausible
reason to be out in the yard.
411
00:15:21,366 --> 00:15:23,666
- It's your house.
- Okay, I-I like the costume.
412
00:15:23,702 --> 00:15:24,786
I found one!
413
00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,771
- Oh, no!
- On it!
414
00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:27,889
Ooh!
415
00:15:27,905 --> 00:15:30,131
I've never seen so many pretty ones.
416
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:31,168
Mama!
417
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,498
The Easter Bunny stole my basket!
418
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,944
T-That's because I'm the Easter Bandit.
419
00:15:36,023 --> 00:15:37,624
You were a little bad last year.
420
00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:38,930
I know.
421
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:40,914
I have five now!
422
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:42,738
Five eggs?!
423
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:45,107
Well, congratulations!
424
00:15:45,143 --> 00:15:48,371
You get to trade these five eggs
425
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,607
for one...
426
00:15:49,685 --> 00:15:51,704
solar path light!
427
00:15:51,766 --> 00:15:53,061
This egg's moving!
428
00:15:53,097 --> 00:15:54,099
Wait, wait, wait!
429
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,144
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
430
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:59,252
That is a magic egg.
431
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:00,900
Ohh!
432
00:16:00,987 --> 00:16:02,747
Close your eyes and make a wish.
433
00:16:05,194 --> 00:16:06,218
Okay.
434
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:09,019
- Where's my egg?
- Disappeared. Gotta go!
435
00:16:09,525 --> 00:16:11,722
Uh, can I at least
get a picture with you?
436
00:16:11,758 --> 00:16:13,494
- Uh...
- Grandpa!
437
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:16,392
Uh-oh.
438
00:16:18,098 --> 00:16:20,014
One very quick pic.
439
00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:22,707
Uhp! Got my own finger. Sorry.
440
00:16:23,343 --> 00:16:24,406
Ah.
441
00:16:24,449 --> 00:16:26,319
Well, that's me. How'd I do that?
442
00:16:26,436 --> 00:16:27,470
Here we go.
443
00:16:28,273 --> 00:16:30,228
Wait. I'm getting a call.
444
00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:31,507
Who do I know in Delaware?
445
00:16:31,543 --> 00:16:32,822
Let it go to voicemail, Jim!
446
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:33,910
Okay.
447
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,726
Stop squirming, Easter Bunny!
448
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,012
And one...
449
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:37,791
Three!
450
00:16:37,827 --> 00:16:39,665
- Got it.
- Have a good year, everybody!
451
00:16:39,759 --> 00:16:41,430
Be good! Especially you!
452
00:16:44,077 --> 00:16:45,705
What is the big emergency, Alex?
453
00:16:45,741 --> 00:16:47,562
I was using my Shop-Vac
to give myself a hickey
454
00:16:47,598 --> 00:16:48,715
to show the guys at game night.
455
00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:50,610
Hello, Doug.
456
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:52,609
Oh. The mother.
457
00:16:52,695 --> 00:16:54,623
Look, Alex isn't coming to game night.
458
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:57,296
She's also not cooking you ribs,
doing your laundry,
459
00:16:57,332 --> 00:16:59,383
or getting you an online M.B.A.
460
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,536
Actually, I might finish that.
461
00:17:00,572 --> 00:17:01,981
- I really think we could make the Dean's List.
- Tch!
462
00:17:02,017 --> 00:17:03,449
Well, we had a deal,
463
00:17:03,485 --> 00:17:05,119
so if she's not gonna keep up her end,
464
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,480
I guess I'll just have to sue.
465
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:07,712
Oh, no, no, no, Doug.
466
00:17:07,748 --> 00:17:09,951
I think that we can work that out
467
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:12,991
right here, right now.
468
00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,658
What do you think...
469
00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:17,048
of this number?
470
00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:19,412
I'd like it a lot better
with another zero on the end.
471
00:17:19,474 --> 00:17:21,161
- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.
472
00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:23,256
Well... I blame myself.
473
00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:24,920
You... You try to instill
474
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,980
a sense of responsibility
in your children, and...
475
00:17:28,061 --> 00:17:29,402
obviously, I failed.
476
00:17:30,557 --> 00:17:31,724
I don't know why I'm surprised.
477
00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:33,208
It's the story of my life.
478
00:17:34,425 --> 00:17:37,897
Loveless marriage, no job, and now...
479
00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:39,291
Some reason,
I thought that being a mother
480
00:17:39,353 --> 00:17:41,931
would be the one thing I got right.
481
00:17:42,014 --> 00:17:43,032
Well...
482
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:46,804
Could you at least wait
till Wednesday to cash this?
483
00:17:48,336 --> 00:17:49,356
Um...
484
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,128
No.
485
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,835
Sorry about your miserable life.
486
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,018
I have faith that
you'll get it together.
487
00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:56,407
- Ohh!
- Oh, Mom!
488
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,489
Oh! Oh, my wrist!
489
00:17:58,525 --> 00:17:59,526
- My wrist!
- Oh, my God.
490
00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:00,855
It's broken! He pushed me!
491
00:18:00,925 --> 00:18:03,566
- No, I didn't!
- Yes! You did! I saw it.
492
00:18:03,602 --> 00:18:05,398
That's elder abuse.
493
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,865
You messed with the wrong Gamma.
494
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:11,449
Long story short,
Doug and I decided to call it even.
495
00:18:11,485 --> 00:18:14,221
And, thanks to me,
not one child got bit.
496
00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:15,910
Are you really gonna keep that thing?
497
00:18:15,972 --> 00:18:18,977
Do we always have
to talk about my snake?
498
00:18:19,061 --> 00:18:20,068
Okay, this is too soon.
499
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:21,746
She wasn't supposed to give birth
for two more weeks.
500
00:18:21,782 --> 00:18:23,141
Yeah, and, you know,
not to be critical of women,
501
00:18:23,204 --> 00:18:25,792
but how hard is it just to hold it in?
502
00:18:25,903 --> 00:18:26,823
You know, I had that giant coffee
503
00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:28,792
and sat through Manny's
one-man "Uncle Vanya."
504
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,263
We... We...
We still haven't baby-proofed.
505
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,783
We don't...
We don't have a changing table.
506
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,005
I haven't even started painting
the mural above the baby's crib yet.
507
00:18:34,078 --> 00:18:35,656
Okay, so I guess
there are some positives.
508
00:18:35,751 --> 00:18:37,571
- Guys! - Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
509
00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:39,402
Lily, I'm so sorry.
I forgot you're back there.
510
00:18:39,438 --> 00:18:42,086
And every time you speak,
it's like a... a ghost popping out.
511
00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,449
There's no carseat back here.
512
00:18:43,485 --> 00:18:45,329
Okay, Lily, you don't need a carseat.
513
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,713
Honey, not everything
is about you! Come on!
514
00:18:46,812 --> 00:18:48,329
For the baby!
515
00:18:48,432 --> 00:18:50,070
Oh. Oh, my G... Oh, my God!
516
00:18:50,106 --> 00:18:52,269
It's packed away.
It's... It's in the moving truck.
517
00:18:52,347 --> 00:18:53,977
Okay, but can... can you hurry?
518
00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:55,384
Sorry I was late.
519
00:18:55,454 --> 00:18:57,450
A smokey set up a bear trap,
520
00:18:57,486 --> 00:18:59,653
and I had to back off the hammer.
521
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,674
I'll get your carseat in no time.
522
00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:02,737
Where are the movers?
523
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:06,950
Those were no movers.
They were just men carrying boxes.
524
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:12,656
Those things were broken
before we packed them, huh?
525
00:19:13,268 --> 00:19:14,721
Are we sure we put the carseat in right?
526
00:19:14,757 --> 00:19:17,302
What do you mean, we?
I-I-I don't know. It felt shaky!
527
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:18,776
Oh, God, this is bad.
This is really bad.
528
00:19:18,812 --> 00:19:20,148
We don't have diapers,
we don't have formula...
529
00:19:20,184 --> 00:19:21,081
I don't even know where we live.
530
00:19:21,117 --> 00:19:22,738
If somebody asks for an address,
what am I supposed to say?
531
00:19:22,774 --> 00:19:23,955
"Some new house someplace"?
532
00:19:23,991 --> 00:19:25,234
- Guys.
- Aaah! - Ohhh, my gosh!
533
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,826
O-O-Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're awful.
534
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:28,991
We haven't even checked in with you.
535
00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:30,670
You... You must be freaking out, too.
536
00:19:30,706 --> 00:19:33,486
No, I'm not, and neither are you.
537
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:35,107
This is just your process.
538
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:36,655
You get hysterical,
539
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,081
you worry about every detail,
540
00:19:38,117 --> 00:19:39,457
then you turn on each other...
541
00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:40,840
- No, we don't!
- Yes, we do.
542
00:19:40,924 --> 00:19:43,342
- How dare you.
- And after all that craziness,
543
00:19:43,413 --> 00:19:45,653
when it really matters the most, you...
544
00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:47,739
- W-What?
- W-W-What do we do?
545
00:19:52,753 --> 00:19:54,253
Our son.
546
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:55,486
He's beautiful.
547
00:19:57,118 --> 00:19:58,457
We got this.
548
00:19:58,556 --> 00:19:59,929
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
549
00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,880
Okay, so, Gloria said she set up
Joe's old bassinet in our bedroom,
550
00:20:06,949 --> 00:20:09,611
and I think we have enough
diapers to last us till morning.
551
00:20:09,747 --> 00:20:11,019
D-Don't forget to support his head.
552
00:20:11,055 --> 00:20:12,910
I will. It's not my first rodeo.
553
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:15,407
Oh, I can't wait
to take him to his first rodeo.
554
00:20:15,857 --> 00:20:17,441
Okay, um, she's asking what time
555
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:19,721
she should bring everyone by
for the baby reveal.
556
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,131
I don't know, may...
557
00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:23,211
Maybe it should just be the
four of us tonight, huh?
558
00:20:23,548 --> 00:20:24,971
Aww.
559
00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:26,987
You know, I... think I finally realized
560
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:28,971
what this house
has been missing all along.
561
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:32,861
- Recessed lighting.
- Totally.
562
00:20:32,909 --> 00:20:37,909
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