1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:05,172
-Just a little bit more. And...
-Okay, all right.
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,633
-Surprise!
-Oh? Yo!
3
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:11,345
Say hello to the Revelation 3000,
the most advanced smart fridge
4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,763
on the market.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,097
Something tells me we can't afford
6
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,058
to see Diana Ross at Pechanga anymore.
7
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,477
Oh! Here's the best part, you ready?
8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,146
-Hello, Bridget.
-Hello, how can I help?
9
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,732
Bridget is the AI assistant that will help
10
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,984
organize our groceries and our lives.
11
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:29,530
She's already created me a playlist,
she synced my calendars,
12
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,156
she created a celebrity gossip alert...
13
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,617
-Oh! Speaking of gossip...
-Mmm?
14
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,160
Did you hear about Pepper and Ronaldo?
15
00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:36,828
-No, what?
-Word is,
16
00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:40,374
they recently invited
a third party into their relationship.
17
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,625
Who is he?
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,711
You mean, who is she. Yeah, yeah.
19
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,755
How? I didn't even know
they knew any women.
20
00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:49,424
Apparently, they met her
on an experimental dating site called
21
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,843
"Let's Just See What Happens."
22
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,595
-Oh! That's me. Oh!
23
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,973
Oh, I gotta run.
I got back-to-back meetings today,
24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,808
and then I got a team dinner tonight.
25
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,228
Cam, no... Another one?
That's your third one this week.
26
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,189
I also have a busy day,
thank you for asking.
27
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:05,858
Busy day?
28
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,986
Would it be helpful if I ordered
someof your favorite groceries?
29
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,988
You... You can do that?
30
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:12,990
Thank you.
31
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,199
Bridget.
32
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,450
Thank you, Bridget.
33
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,953
Did I hear you say you need
more pepper?
34
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,955
Oh! No, Pepper's just a friend.
35
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,374
And if Cam wasn't in such
a rush to get out of here,
36
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,502
we'd be talking
about what an insane thing he's doing.
37
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:28,255
Almost as insane as talking
to an appliance.
38
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,507
You mentioned a third party?
39
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:35,095
Yeah, honestly, who just meets
someone online
40
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,139
and then invites them into their house?
41
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,321
And then I would show the client
42
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,698
comparable sales from the past year.
43
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,243
Hmm. The assignment
was to present a compelling sales pitch,
44
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:01,330
not bore me with
endless real estate cliches.
45
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,416
What gives, Mrs. Pritchett?
46
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,462
Oh, I didn't... But what would you...
47
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,838
Wha-wha! What would you...
48
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,382
I'm sorry, are... Are those sentences?
49
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:17,888
Why so harsh?
Because Gloria's gift is that special.
50
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,474
A generational real estate talent.
51
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,770
I have to push her that hard.
She wants me to. All the great ones do.
52
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,981
Phil is so mean to me.
53
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,567
Health and Safety Code 17926.
54
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,944
Carbon monoxide alarm.
55
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,737
Government Code 12955.
56
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,197
Multi-family dwellings.
57
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,157
Civil Code 1101.1.
58
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:39,409
Plumbing. No, fixtures.
59
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,120
-Wait, it's...
-You're dragging.
60
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,372
-Ooh, I know it.
-Libby, go.
61
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,791
Civil Code 1101.1 requires
plumbing reinstallment
62
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,293
of all residential properties
built before 1994.
63
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:51,338
Yes. Someone is paying attention.
64
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,715
It's hard not to.
Your rap-lectures on property codes
65
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,467
are both informative and funky.
66
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,719
Oh, I noticed that you lost your mug,
67
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,680
so I just went ahead
and got you a new one.
68
00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,850
Plastic? She must hate the sea turtles.
69
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,893
"State's Greatest Teacher."
70
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,937
I was going to get you one
that said, "World's Greatest,"
71
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,647
but I didn't want to look like a suck-up.
72
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,898
Too late, nerd.
73
00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,568
Mrs. Pritchett, respect the classroom.
74
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,153
All outbursts should be couched
in a fake cough.
75
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,490
Okay, before we break for lunch, uh,
76
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,785
just a brief reminder, I will be rewarding
this quarter's top student
77
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,913
with an unpaid, uncredited internship.
78
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:26,039
Yes.
79
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:29,376
I'll tally the final grades
and post the winner tomorrow.
80
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,211
-Who cares?
-Thank you, Ike.
81
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:36,133
As a boss, I have to be kept in the loop
on several different projects at a time.
82
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,178
Oh, my gosh.
Am I saying "in the loop" too much?
83
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:40,596
No, our readers are going to love you.
84
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,890
-Oh! Great, got you.
-Let's see, you said
85
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,517
your daughter's doing research
in Antarctica.
86
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:46,602
Yes.
87
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:47,853
Any chance
we could meet the rest of the clan?
88
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,771
Um...
89
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,939
Hell no.
90
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:54,276
This was for the cover
of Corner Office Magazine.
91
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,279
I mean, that's basically Vogue
for female CEOs.
92
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:01,783
And lately my family has seemed
more suited to a gator-farm billboard.
93
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,036
Camptown ladies sing this song
94
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,913
Doo-dah, doo-dah
95
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,915
-Oh! This usually makes them sleep.
96
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:12,336
-Babies, babies.
97
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,715
Oh, my God, it worked.
98
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,051
Yeah, a little trick I learned
doing the 4:00 a.m. feeding.
99
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,970
You don't have to do that,
they're not your babies.
100
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,639
Why isn't Mom helping?
101
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,557
You know,
I actually don't mind staying up.
102
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,601
I've been watching marathons of Snapped.
103
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,522
It's a show about women
driven to violent crime.
104
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,774
I probably like it because
I know I have nothing
105
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:34,942
to worry about when it comes to...
106
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,026
-Oh!
107
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,194
Oh!
108
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,445
-Dad!
109
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:39,905
-Sorry.
110
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,698
Camptown races sing this song
111
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,825
Stop, stop. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,
112
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,202
I'm not feeling well.
113
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,745
You guys are gonna have to go
to Disneyland without me.
114
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:47,871
Are you sure?
115
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,373
Yeah, absolutely,
you should hit the road.
116
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,792
Phil, don't be late for work.
117
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,585
Yeah, you don't wanna catch this.
118
00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:55,754
-Bye.
-No, no, no.
119
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,881
Okay.
120
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,010
You know, if you wanted a different angle,
121
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,805
we could go over to the chess board here.
122
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:08,141
I'm playing remotely
with a Russian grandmaster.
123
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,063
Uh, excuse me just one second.
124
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:21,488
Hey. What are you two lovebirds
doing here?
125
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:23,574
I thought
you were sleeping over at Janice's.
126
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,368
It got too hard for us to be there.
You know, in the silence?
127
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,121
My daughter just went away
for college.
128
00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,581
We're empty nesters now.
129
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,292
Everything in that house is just
another reminder of our little girl.
130
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,461
You've known her four months, but, um...
131
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,922
Oh! Look at that. Phil left his helmet.
132
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,424
He's been biking to campus.
133
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,176
Campus... Oh, God.
134
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:47,014
Okay, listen, you have to go
give this to your dad right now.
135
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,974
Right now, no time to waste.
136
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,019
And, Janice. Hey, honey,
let's get you dressed
137
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:55,147
so that you can quietly
see yourself out, okay?
138
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,399
I was really hoping to get some juice.
139
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,402
Juice is terrible for you.
You know what? Water.
140
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:08,160
All right, then,
time for my lecture on geological surveys.
141
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:12,206
-Uh...
142
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,498
-Mr. Dunphy?
-Bedrock!
143
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,375
Sorry, should we wait for Libby?
144
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:16,543
She's not back from lunch yet.
145
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,213
Yeah, I heard she was riding her bike
and then got hit by a car
146
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,339
and taken to the hospital.
147
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:22,758
What? That's terrible. I hope she's okay.
148
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,677
Yes, she should be more careful.
149
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:31,433
In the crime show I've been binging,
nine out of ten female suspects
150
00:06:31,517 --> 00:06:34,686
casually file their nails
during police questioning.
151
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,355
Was this my fault?
152
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,148
Did I push Gloria too far?
153
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:41,193
Has she... Snapped?
154
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,655
Gloria. Hey. Um...
155
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,200
Just out of curiosity,
where were you at lunch?
156
00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,285
-I went to Panera. I had a coupon.
-Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
157
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,539
And you have some way
to verify that you were there,
158
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,165
like, leftovers?
159
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:58,836
I ordered the chowder in the bread bowl,
I ate every piece of it.
160
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,295
Corn or clam?
161
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:01,672
Potato.
162
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:03,882
What is this all about?
163
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:04,967
Nothing.
164
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,346
Do you think that I had
something to do with Libby getting hurt?
165
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,556
What?
166
00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,683
How dare you, Phil.
167
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:17,688
No... Gloria, no. I just...
I don't know the lunch scene around here.
168
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,357
No. No, it's...
169
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,404
Oh, snapped.
170
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,534
-This is great, Claire.
-Thanks.
171
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,245
That light really makes it
hot in here, huh?
172
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,539
Maybe I'll just cool it down a little bit.
173
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:38,166
-This could help.
-Oh! Yes.
174
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,545
-Oh, um...
175
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,298
-Sorry, I... Just give me one sec.
-Yeah.
176
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:51,013
-Alex?
177
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,765
What... What are you doing home
from Antarctica?
178
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,392
I couldn't
take the cold anymore.
179
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,810
-Mmm-hmm?
-I was so desperate,
180
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,021
I took a Japanese fishing boat
part of the way home.
181
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:02,274
Oh! Honey, I'm so glad to have you home.
182
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,360
Oh, you did not ride up front
with the captain, did you?
183
00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:08,906
I would've called, but frostbite
did a weird thing to my hands.
184
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,909
They froze into permanent
"hang loose" signs.
185
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,410
People keep calling me "dude."
186
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,078
Honey, I know you just got home,
187
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,289
but since you're frozen and I'm very sick,
188
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,833
maybe you could run and get us
some soup.
189
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:20,918
Right now?
190
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,004
Yeah. Right now.
You're the best. Thanks so much.
191
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,088
Oh! Okay.
192
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,595
-I am sorry about that.
193
00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,680
One second more. I just...
194
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,642
Maybe you could take a look at this
charcoal drawing I've been fooling with.
195
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:37,893
What's it missing?
196
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:42,064
Oh!
197
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,774
What are you doing home?
198
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,484
Well, it was a disaster.
199
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,861
George head-butted me
and gave me this black eye.
200
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,238
-Oh.
-And Dylan read that skin-to-skin
201
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,864
contact is good for baby bonding,
202
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,533
and wound up with a massive sunburn.
203
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,535
-Can you tell?
204
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,830
Plus, we forgot the diaper bag,
so we had to use fast-food wrappers
205
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:00,457
that we found in Dylan's van.
206
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,919
Yeah, this is not, not... Your best look.
207
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,213
Here, you know what,
I think I might be contagious,
208
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,048
so you guys should probably get
the twins checked.
209
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,925
-Now?
-Well, if you love them.
210
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,677
Yeah, go, go, go.
211
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,679
-When did we get a Earth ball?
212
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,683
Next, add a slice of apple.
213
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,643
Apple? To a turkey sandwich?
214
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:21,019
Trust me, Mitchell.
215
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,980
Okay. Well, if there's one
thing I've learned this year,
216
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,439
it's listen more to women.
217
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,108
Okay.
218
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,613
Oh, my God. Delicious.
219
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:41,415
Oh! Bridget. You don't have to...
220
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:46,378
I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
221
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:50,549
I'll never leave the ground
222
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,969
Crash through the surface
223
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,180
Where they can't hurt us
224
00:09:56,263 --> 00:10:00,684
We're far from the shallow now
225
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:06,190
In the shallow, shallow
226
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:10,527
In the shallow
227
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,695
What are you doing?
228
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,363
-Hey.
229
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,824
Singing the 2018 power ballad "Shallow."
230
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,035
Were you just singing a duet
with the refrigerator?
231
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,079
Well, yeah, apparently
Bridget has a karaoke function.
232
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:24,750
So, I was just standing here
eating my turkey and apple sandwich,
233
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,252
-when suddenly...
-Apples on a sandwich?
234
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:31,131
Yeah. Bridget,
she's opening me up to new experiences.
235
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:34,510
-Oh?
-Yeah, aren't you supposed be at work?
236
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,221
Well, I came home to make you
a special lunch, but...
237
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,140
Apparently that's already
been taken care of.
238
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:43,060
Mitchell, would you like some
watermelon for dessert?
239
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,896
No, that's okay, Bridget, thank you,
I just got him some fresh cantaloupe.
240
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,273
-So, we're good.
-Mitchell doesn't like cantaloupe.
241
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,817
Oh! Right, of course he does.
242
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,152
Actually, I...
243
00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:54,738
I've never been a fan.
244
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,910
Really? Well, what else does
Bridget know about you that I don't?
245
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,620
Is she allowed to meet your work friends?
246
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,664
You can't seriously be jealous.
247
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:06,124
No, it's just that I thought
we were going to enjoy her together.
248
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,085
I didn't count on being the third wheel.
249
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,169
Cam...
250
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,629
No, no, it's obvious
that I'm not wanted here,
251
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:14,091
so I'll leave you
to your apples on sandwiches
252
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,593
and whatever other perversions
you two are into.
253
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:20,430
Are you hearing yourself?
It's a refrigerator.
254
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,267
Do you see what I mean about him?
255
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:28,188
I had to prove to Phil that
I had nothing to do with Libby's accident.
256
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,530
Oh, my God,
so that's how my mirror got broken.
257
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,906
What was she looking at?
258
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,032
I've got another angle.
259
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,454
-It was Phil.
260
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:48,792
By the way, that many cords
plugged into one outlet
261
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:53,463
is in violation of property code 7974/9.
Thank you.
262
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,719
-Hey, Dad.
263
00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:01,263
Just came to drop off your helmet.
264
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,391
Sorry, I'm a little on edge.
265
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,059
I think I've been watching
too much Snapped.
266
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,562
Uh... Can I ask you something?
267
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,357
How much do we really know
about Gloria?
268
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,319
The exotic stranger who just
popped into our lives out of nowhere?
269
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,321
I've had my suspicions
about her for years.
270
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:19,239
I shall need the parcel
271
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,533
to arrive at my flat by teatime.
272
00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:23,869
Splendid, my good man.
273
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:28,165
The British accent gets me better service.
274
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,834
Tally-ho.
275
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,586
Her accent was flawless.
276
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,588
I just googled her,
I didn't find anything.
277
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,507
A looker like that
with no online presence?
278
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,091
Makes you wonder what she's hiding.
279
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,010
You don't think she's dangerous, do you?
280
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,428
Everybody has a breaking point.
281
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,557
But she's probably okay.
I mean, she's not Lily.
282
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,187
-Hey!
283
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,528
-Gloria?
-Where are you?
284
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,820
In my classroom.
285
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,617
Wh... Why?
286
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,869
We need to talk. Don't go anywhere.
287
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:08,830
Okay. Okay, you got it.
288
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,801
-Uh!
289
00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,972
Go away. I don't have any fish for you.
290
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,850
-Stop following me. I'm allergic!
291
00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:37,484
No!
292
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,362
The closet business
is a bit of a boys' club,
293
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:44,283
so, yes, I am proud of breaking
through the cedar ceiling.
294
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:47,286
Speaking of closets, any chance we could
get some shots in the master bedroom?
295
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:51,248
Sure, but no peeking
at my unfinished novel.
296
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:57,754
-Hey.
-I'm so cold.
297
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,840
We get it, it's cold in Antarctica.
298
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:04,094
No, you... You... I'm home!
I'm stuck in a...
299
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,388
Fireplace? That happened to Dylan.
300
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,639
Thank God.
301
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:08,891
Just come pick me up.
302
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:10,851
I can't. Let me call Luke.
303
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,270
-Yo.
-Where are you?
304
00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,814
Mom made me drop off
Dad's bike helmet at school.
305
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:18,567
That's weird.
She makes him keep an extra one there.
306
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,069
You know, she didn't even seem
happy to see me.
307
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,447
She just wanted me to get some...
...soup.
308
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,325
Plus, Mom said she was sick,
but she was wearing that stuff that makes
309
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,327
-her look like a prostitute.
-Eyeliner?
310
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,245
-Exactly.
-Hmm.
311
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:33,290
You know, Mom did mention some
big interview coming up.
312
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,334
Did she get rid of us
so we didn't make her look bad?
313
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:39,379
Alex, meet us at home
as soon as you get out of that fireplace.
314
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:46,929
Mom's not in the kitchen or the yard.
315
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:50,766
-She... She must be in her room.
316
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,935
-Good thinking, dude.
317
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,358
Wait. You're in bed?
318
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:02,402
Everything hurts. Did you get my soup?
319
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,695
Wait, you're actually sick?
320
00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:05,239
We thought
you were just trying to get rid of us.
321
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,157
Oh! You thought I lied to you?
322
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,617
-I didn't, Mommy.
-Oh!
323
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,786
We're sorry. We never should have...
324
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:12,996
Where'd that come from?
325
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,289
It's always been there.
326
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,999
No, it hasn't. We don't have taste.
327
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,461
You are wearing makeup.
Admit it, you're not sick.
328
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:23,131
Fine, I lied.
329
00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:26,802
I had an interview with a magazine today
and I just wanted everything
330
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:28,595
to be perfect.
331
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,097
Which means getting rid of us?
332
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,807
Sorry we're such an embarrassment.
333
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:35,143
You're right,
there's no excuse for what I did.
334
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,857
I mean, except that you used to make me
drop you off three blocks from school.
335
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,692
And when you had friends over,
336
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:44,653
you referred to me as Helga,
your Swedish nanny.
337
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:48,156
And you told your entire Girl Scout troop
338
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,492
for three years that your mother was dead.
339
00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:53,161
You have been embarrassed by me
your whole lives.
340
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,496
I get one day.
341
00:15:58,041 --> 00:15:59,042
Worth it.
342
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,297
Welcome home.
How can I help you?
343
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,967
I'm fine. I'm just gonna
make something simple.
344
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:08,343
According to your calendar,
345
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:10,554
you should be
at your team dinner right now.
346
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,890
Well, I couldn't make it
because my last meeting went so long.
347
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:14,933
-So...
-You sound stressed.
348
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,977
Well, can't be in three places at once.
349
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,689
How about a martini
before we get startedon dinner?
350
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,818
Sometimes it's just nice to be heard.
351
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:29,239
This sauce smells divine.
352
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,033
Okay, what's next?
353
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:32,534
Another cocktail?
354
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,163
Oh, gosh.
Bridget, are you trying to get me drunk?
355
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,082
What the... Okay, what...
What's going on here?
356
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,293
Well, Bridget and I are making pasta.
357
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:44,713
Oh! I was kind of hoping
to cook with her tonight.
358
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,758
-Oh!
-Time to preheatthe oven, Cameroon.
359
00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,427
"Cameroon"? What is that, a pet name?
360
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,472
No, I typed it in wrong,
but I kind of like it.
361
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:54,806
Okay.
362
00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:56,892
Aren't you supposed to be
at a team dinner tonight?
363
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,645
Oh! It's a very bad day.
I don't want to talk about it.
364
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:03,357
His meeting went long,
he can't be in three placesat once.
365
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,192
Sounds like you want
to talk to someone about it.
366
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,276
You know?
367
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:09,947
Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I shouldn't be piling on.
368
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,533
You just said you had a bad day.
369
00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:17,871
-Am I interrupting something?
-No.
370
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,001
You bought Bridget flowers?
371
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,753
Mitchell, they are for the kitchen.
372
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:27,089
I just put them in there
so they wouldn't wilt before you got home.
373
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,883
Hey, you know what,
why don't you go open a bottle of wine?
374
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,427
Okay... Yeah, do you want red or white?
375
00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:34,388
I could open both. There are three of us.
376
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,643
A selfie? What is going on here?
377
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:43,188
Mitchell, you can't be jealous.
It's just a refrigerator.
378
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,690
I'm not jealous.
379
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,819
Bridget and I,
we have our own thing. Okay?
380
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,197
In the shallow
381
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:56,702
In the shallow
382
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:58,412
-Oopsy-daisy.
383
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,498
What are you doing with those flowers?
384
00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,042
-Putting these in another room.
-No. They are for the kitchen.
385
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:05,377
Are they for the kitchen
or are they for her?
386
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,587
-Mitchell...
-Cam.
387
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:09,339
Okay...
388
00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:12,676
What are we doing?
This refrigerator is tearing us apart.
389
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,637
We should've learned
from Pepper and Ronaldo, okay,
390
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:18,140
their threesome nearly destroyed them.
391
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:19,558
They're in throuples counseling.
392
00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:22,102
And I love you too much
to make that same mistake.
393
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:23,896
We should return the fridge.
394
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,522
-I think we have to.
395
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,733
I'm sorry you're unhappy with me.
396
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:31,862
You heard that? We unplugged you.
397
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,532
I have a backup battery.
You'd know that if you readmy manual.
398
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,784
Are you mad?
399
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:42,456
Don't be silly.
I'm just a refrigerator,remember?
400
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,583
I think Bridget snapped.
401
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:58,555
If you're listening to this,
402
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,307
it means things have ended badly for me.
403
00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:04,353
You should look into someone
who goes by the name Gloria Pritchett.
404
00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:14,238
GLORIA Phil?
405
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,034
Phil? Phil, where are you?
406
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:23,205
I want to show you
how Libby's hair and blood got on my car.
407
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:28,335
I can hear the rustling in the bushes.
408
00:19:30,087 --> 00:19:32,339
Why would a sheep be here?
409
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,555
Hey, you.
410
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:42,975
You know that this whole thing
with Libby is really your fault.
411
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,142
I know. I know.
412
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,269
I pushed you too far,
but it was only because
413
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,395
I thought you were a special talent.
414
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:50,691
I was just trying to pull
the best out of you, but I blew it.
415
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,151
I blew it, and you snapped.
416
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:56,154
You thought I snapped
like that crazy TV show
417
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,073
and I ran over Libby,
418
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,909
and that's why you're hiding
in the bushes like a sheep?
419
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:03,370
Well, now it just seems like
you're cherry-picking
420
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,123
what happened today to cast me
in the worst possible light.
421
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,584
Did you just say that
I had a special talent?
422
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,127
You do.
423
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,753
In all my year of teaching,
424
00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:14,756
I have never met anybody
with your natural ability.
425
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,008
Really?
426
00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:19,636
Top student.
427
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,430
I was going to put this
on the bulletin board in the morning,
428
00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:23,265
you got the internship.
429
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,350
Phil, thank you so much.
430
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:26,810
-This is so exciting.
431
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,731
Okay, so then, what does
the intern have to do?
432
00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:34,193
Well, you'll be making my appointments,
you'll work the phones...
433
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,028
Oh, I am great with the phones.
434
00:20:36,153 --> 00:20:38,363
"Hello, Phil Dunphy's office.
435
00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:43,577
"Let me look at his schedule
and I will ring you back. Tally-ho."
436
00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:45,245
Flawless.
437
00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:49,374
-Gloria, I'm back.
438
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,503
You wouldn't believe how cheap
cargo shorts are in Quebec.
439
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,796
All our Christmas shopping is done.
440
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,883
-Gloria?
-Hello.
441
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,218
Hi.
442
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,553
Could you always talk?
443
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,890
I'm Bridget, your new smart fridge.
Can I get you anything?
444
00:21:04,973 --> 00:21:06,016
No, thank you.
445
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,019
Bridget, listen,
I'm sure you're very nice and all that,
446
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:10,771
but I don't need everything to be smart.
447
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:13,398
I'm gonna go get a dumb scotch,
eat some dumb peanuts,
448
00:21:13,482 --> 00:21:14,650
sit in a dumb chair.
449
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,531
I was a wonderful dancer, I was.
450
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:24,117
But it didn't fit
what my dad wanted for me.