1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:04,421
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-PHIL: Ah!
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,673
Listen to those birds.
3
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,300
Mmm.
4
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,260
Love it out here. It's so peaceful.
5
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:14,014
We should have done this months ago.
I'm going to go for a run.
6
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,350
-Okay, let's just make sure it's safe.
-Okay.
7
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:18,101
(WHISPERING) Okay, now! Go now.
8
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:23,190
PHIL: Four days ago, Claire and I
moved out here to the driveway.
9
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:26,610
The house exceeded maximum capacity
when Alex moved back home.
10
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:30,405
She quit her fancy job
for something low-paying and ethical.
11
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:34,701
Yay! Between her, Luke, Dylan,
Haley and the twins,
12
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,037
things have devolved into total chaos.
13
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,205
(BANGING ON DOOR)
14
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,875
Alex! Open up! My hair is drying
and I haven't put any product in yet.
15
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,379
Go use Dad's! Ugh! Can I get, like,
two minutes to myself?
16
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,881
-PHIL: Oh, my God!
-(BABIES CRYING)
17
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,759
Hey! You woke up the babies, you idiot!
18
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,178
-DYLAN: (GROANING) Haley.
-Oh, great. Now, he's up.
19
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,389
Darn it, Luke, that was my foot.
20
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:58,183
Who made macaroni and cheese
and left it out?
21
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,102
Sorry, Mrs. D, that was me and Luke.
22
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:03,814
But in our defense, we were high
and got spooked by your German dishwasher.
23
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,692
Well, now the entire kitchen is covered
with ants, and so am I.
24
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:07,860
God, I gotta take a shower.
25
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,862
Well, good luck with that,
no more hot water.
26
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:13,699
Yep. Gonna lose a toenail.
There goes sandal season!
27
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,201
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
28
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:28,463
-(DOOR OPENS)
-CAM: Oh.
29
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:31,300
-Do you love it?
-Oh, my God, you've gotten so much done.
30
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,510
Well, I wanted to finish it
before the housewarming.
31
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,721
-It looks so good.
-Thank you.
32
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,348
I swear, it's this place.
It makes me better at things.
33
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,226
Yesterday, I threw my T-shirt
at the laundry basket,
34
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:44,021
yelled "money" and it almost went in.
35
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,565
It's been a weird and wonderful month.
36
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,526
-We adopted a baby boy.
-And we moved into a new home.
37
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,153
Which we love so much,
38
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:54,281
we named our son
after our street, Rexford.
39
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,201
Rex Tucker-Pritchett. With a name
like that, he can be anything he wants,
40
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,078
a quarterback, a running back,
a middle linebacker.
41
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,789
He's got big feet,
maybe he could be a kicker.
42
00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,458
Why don't you believe in him, Mitchell?
43
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,711
(CLATTERING)
44
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,005
This is crazy, we're out of everything.
45
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,298
Is that the last of the cereal?
46
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:14,635
Oh, we haven't had cereal in days.
This is formula over croutons.
47
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,386
They're gross.
48
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,305
(SIGHS) Coffee dust.
49
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,140
Ew.
50
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,434
Oh, don't judge me!
51
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,311
You've been wearing
bathing suits for underwear
52
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,604
since the washing machine broke.
53
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,272
I wish I had a clean bathing suit.
54
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,775
I had to cut leg holes into a shower cap.
55
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,443
Do I have coffee in my teeth?
56
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,696
Arvin wants to meet before I sign
the contract, for some reason.
57
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,198
Ooh.
58
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,825
I bet I know the reason why.
59
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,744
'Cause he wants to get with you.
60
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,497
No, he does not. He's about to be my boss.
61
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,791
Which is why he wants to talk
before you sign.
62
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,001
Nowadays, you get in trouble
for dating at work,
63
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,587
unless it's a pre-existing relationship.
64
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,006
I know this because
I had to go to an HR thing
65
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:56,176
thanks to some smoking hot janitor
who can't take a compliment. (SCOFFS)
66
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,804
Married mother of two, and you are insane.
67
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,807
Arvin doesn't see me that way.
68
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,810
I mean, does he, do you think?
69
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:09,606
Yes. He gets all nervous and
yammery when he's around you.
70
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,067
How do you still not know you're a babe?
71
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:15,195
Well, I mean, you did call me
a frumpy nerd for 20 years.
72
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,364
Well, I didn't stop because I got nicer.
73
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,324
Who ate all the formula and croutons?
74
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,243
Where are Mom and Dad? We need food.
75
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:22,995
(ALEX SNIFFING)
76
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,705
Wait. What's that smell?
77
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,251
Phil, bacon? They're going to smell that.
78
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,171
Oh, my God, I didn't think
about that. Quick, eat it!
79
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,132
(SCREAMING) Worth it! Worth it!
80
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,676
Hey, they have food.
81
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,137
And coffee. Are you guys living in here?
82
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,431
Mom, I need to borrow some underwear.
83
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,893
(DOOR CLOSES)
84
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,895
It's not my fault. I tried to stop him.
85
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,271
Stop who? What happened?
86
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,731
(GASPS)
87
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,566
Ay, your hair! Where is it?
88
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,777
Dad took me to his barber. It was so cool.
89
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:57,446
Have you heard of Playboy?
90
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,865
-I'm going to kill him.
-It gets worse.
91
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,159
He went rogue on Mitch
and Cam's housewarming gift.
92
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:06,330
So he didn't buy the coffee table book
about Los Angeles through the decades?
93
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,207
-JAY: Check this out.
-Oh, my God!
94
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,418
See? You don't get that reaction
from a picture of a dusty guy
95
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,212
picking oranges on Sunset Boulevard.
96
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:16,173
That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
97
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,758
But I like my hair.
98
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:22,387
No, not you, sweetie. You're perfect,
and no woman will ever deserve you.
99
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,931
Hey, I don't know if you journal,
100
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,642
but you might want to dog-ear
today's page for your future therapist.
101
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:30,270
Jay, you can't be buying
home decor things for gays.
102
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:32,314
Mitch and Cam
are going to hate this thing.
103
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,483
No, they won't.
The guys are going to love it.
104
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,068
Just like Joe loves his haircut.
105
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:38,362
Ay. Everybody is going to think
that he has lice.
106
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:43,200
I hope not, bad hygiene is one of
Miss September's three biggest turnoffs.
107
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:44,993
(SIGHS)
108
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,330
Mitchell, I love this house!
109
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,958
-Do you love it? Say you love it.
-I do, I love it.
110
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:54,795
I love the flow, I love the lights,
I love the location.
111
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,172
There... There's even
a karaoke room in the basement.
112
00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:58,632
(GASPS) So fun!
113
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:02,219
The last time I had a hot mike
in my basement...
114
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,388
You know what? I'm going to wait
till there are more people here.
115
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:05,556
(REXFORD CRYING)
116
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,599
Oh, the baby is awake.
Do you wanna meet him?
117
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:11,311
I do. I can ask him
if he liked our gift. We never heard.
118
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,437
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
119
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,233
-Hello.
-Mr. Tucker. It's Jim Alvarez.
120
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,403
Athletic Director from the University
of North Central Missouri.
121
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,614
Uh, yes, of course. How can I help you?
122
00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:24,783
This is a bit of an awkward call.
123
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,870
As you know, you were
the runner-up for our head coaching job.
124
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,079
Uh, yes, yes.
125
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,791
You know, Coach Ashley is a great guy,
great choice. No hard feelings.
126
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:36,545
I actually... I sent him a bottle
of congratulatory scotch.
127
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,756
Well, he drank it.
Then he did a press conference
128
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,467
where he used some colorful language
to address a female reporter
129
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:46,263
-and blamed some things on the Jews.
-Oh, my.
130
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,183
The point is, the job is yours,
if you still want it.
131
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,935
I'm... I'm sorry. What?
132
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,437
I know this is coming at you fast,
133
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,439
but I'll need an answer
by the end of the day.
134
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,567
So talk it over with the mister,
and let me know.
135
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:02,779
Uh, yes. Yes, okay. Thank you...
Thank you very much.
136
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,200
(EXHALES)
137
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,368
RONALDO: Look at him. He's perfect.
138
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,412
MITCHELL: I know.
I know, it's all perfect.
139
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,248
It's like the universe
gave me everything I wanted.
140
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:14,333
(SIGHS)
141
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,960
(REXFORD FUSSING)
142
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,046
(CAM GROANING)
143
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:29,223
Okay. (CLAPPING)
Family meeting. Please, sit down.
144
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,682
Dylan, please. Thank you.
145
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:31,850
(CLAIRE SIGHS)
146
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:34,269
Now, um, this is going to sound harsh.
147
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:38,482
No parent with half a heart
wants to say this. So, Claire?
148
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,693
Fine, I have no problem saying it.
149
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,654
There are too many people
living in this house.
150
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,738
(BABY COOS)
151
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,156
It's disgusting.
152
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,992
I think there's something alive
in the kitchen sink water.
153
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,369
It's just Sinky.
154
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,788
You didn't turn on
the garbage disposal, did you?
155
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,125
Okay... We cannot live this way.
One of you has to move out.
156
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,836
-Are you serious?
-That's not fair.
157
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,295
-That's not okay.
-You can't just spring this on us.
158
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,048
ALEX: I just took a huge salary cut
159
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,050
so it is really not a good time
for me to move.
160
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,719
Me neither. I just took
a leave of absence from work
161
00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:09,096
to spend more time with my family.
162
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:12,224
Well, I have two babies
and a special needs husband.
163
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,101
It's true. I have a medical condition
164
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:16,770
that requires a room big enough
for a giant mattress.
165
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,021
He sleep-wiggles.
166
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,482
Look, if one of you doesn't volunteer,
167
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,651
your mother is going
to have to pick someone.
168
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:25,237
Well, Haley's the oldest,
there's four of them,
169
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,865
and honestly, it's only a matter of time
before she gets pregnant again.
170
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:31,451
-Especially since he's a wiggler.
-Whoa, we can say it.
171
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:34,204
Well, Alex is the one
that has the most education.
172
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,832
(SCOFFS) I shouldn't be
penalized for being smart.
173
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,333
I'm not running for President.
174
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,335
What about you?
Didn't you apply to college?
175
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:43,589
Yeah, and I never heard back
from them. College is rude.
176
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,258
Okay. You can figure this out
amongst the three of you
177
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,551
as you clean up the house.
178
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,553
We need a name by the end of the day.
179
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,138
ALEX: Well, it's not going to be me.
180
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,765
I just can't imagine
being apart from my best friend.
181
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,018
Nice try, Luke.
182
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,645
-(WHISPERING) Help me, it's working.
-Oh, come on.
183
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,899
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
184
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,483
Hey, Cam, look.
185
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,236
Cam? Cam?
186
00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,864
Oh, um, sorry. My mind was elsewhere.
187
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,200
Our neighbor just
dropped this off. So sweet.
188
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,535
And guess what? She's a pediatrician.
189
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:15,245
I mean, how lucky is that?
190
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,830
(GROANS) That's amazing!
191
00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,208
Now you don't have to ugly up
the house with baby-proofing.
192
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,667
Don't ever have kids.
193
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:23,462
There's champagne,
there's truffles, there's caviar...
194
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:26,548
City folk, huh? I mean, whatever
happened to a basket of apples
195
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,800
and a thoughtfully-misspelled note?
196
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:30,344
I mean, huh?
197
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,472
All right, give us a tour,
and make sure it includes the bar.
198
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,891
-Yes!
-So, let's start down in the karaoke room
199
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,768
and then we'll work our way
up to the master.
200
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,770
Sounds like my dream date.
201
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,232
Sorry, I'm a single father,
I never get out.
202
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,775
Is this still how we talk?
203
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,693
Okay, no. All right, right this way.
204
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,737
Okay, I hope the big earthquake
that we're long overdue for
205
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,322
doesn't hit while you're down there.
206
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,701
You're being so negative.
What is wrong with you?
207
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,036
Okay, look, I have to tell someone,
208
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,288
but you cannot repeat it
to anyone, especially Mitchell.
209
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:02,584
I just got offered the football job
that I wanted in Missouri.
210
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,127
-But you just moved in.
-I know.
211
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,754
-With a newborn.
-I know!
212
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:06,922
And you were the one pushing for both.
213
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,632
I don't need a recap, it's my crisis!
214
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,217
We're here!
215
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:14,555
Hey. Hey, guys. Wow, Joe, nice haircut.
216
00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:15,639
-See?
-See?
217
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,224
I miss his old hair.
218
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,143
It's cute. He looks like Tom Cruise
in A Few Good Men.
219
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,479
I wouldn't mind cruising a few good men.
220
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,568
Again, I'm sorry. I spend all my time
at kids' birthday parties.
221
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,361
We're really probably better
than this now, right?
222
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,239
Anyways, we brought you
a housewarming gift.
223
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,449
Jay deserves all the credit.
224
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,451
-Close your eyes.
-Maybe never open them.
225
00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,999
-Ta-da!
-(GASPS)
226
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,458
He's an old-time barkeep.
227
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,503
Now, check it out.
He's a big guy like Cam.
228
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,547
And he's got red hair, like you.
229
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:53,135
Dad! This is exactly what we needed,
a little whimsy! I love it!
230
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,888
No, you don't. Other gays, tell him.
231
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,973
-We love it.
-So cheeky.
232
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,058
We're gonna have so much fun
with this guy.
233
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:02,978
We can throw an Uncle Sam hat
on him for the Fourth of July,
234
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,605
a pilgrim hat for Thanksgiving.
235
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,440
Or a rainbow wig for Pride.
236
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,984
Well, it's a piece of art.
I don't think you want to make it silly.
237
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,069
So, does this, uh, big fella have a name?
238
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:14,823
Sure does. Since he's a combo
of Cam and Mitch, he's Kitsch!
239
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:15,949
(LAUGHTER)
240
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:18,869
Yes, he is. Dad, it's perfect.
241
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,456
Great. Now, Mitchell is even happier.
I'm gonna die in this house.
242
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,712
-Hi.
-Alex, hi. Come in, have a seat.
243
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,838
(ARVIN CHUCKLES)
244
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:33,467
-So, uh...
-So, I guess I'll just get right into it.
245
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,845
I... I didn't see this coming
when I asked you to work with me,
246
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:40,516
and I guess I'm sort of afraid
how you... How you might react,
247
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,268
which explains
why I'm acting so awkwardly,
248
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,395
and why this sentence won't seem to end,
249
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,773
which is so delightful
when Hugh Grant does it,
250
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,899
I just sound like a raving...
251
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,567
-Let me stop you.
-Please do.
252
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,446
I think I know what you're trying to say.
253
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:59,618
Uh, it appears there's some
romantic tension between us,
254
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,662
and you're afraid
that once I sign my contract,
255
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,455
we won't be able to act on it.
256
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:04,665
Uh...
257
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,125
Actually, I was...
I was just going to tell you
258
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,586
that our project
has been moved to Switzerland.
259
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,215
Damn it, Haley!
260
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,801
Then why were you hemming and hawing,
and bringing up Hugh Grant,
261
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,636
which takes every girl right to rom-com?
262
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:21,682
Well, I was afraid that you wouldn't
want to move so far, and...
263
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,643
And I feel responsible
for you quitting your job.
264
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:27,479
Forget what I said!
So, uh, Switzerland, huh?
265
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,898
-Do they pay for housing?
-Uh, actually, yeah.
266
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:33,151
Perfect, perfect.
That solves a big problem for me.
267
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,612
Yup, count me in. See you at the airport.
268
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:39,533
Oh, hold on. Seems like there's something
that we should circle back to.
269
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:40,617
No, no. No, I'm fine.
270
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:44,329
Alex, I've never considered
a romantic relationship with you.
271
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,498
-Oh, great, let's relive it.
-I mean, I'm so much older.
272
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,251
-I dated your sister.
-All good reasons.
273
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,587
-I'm at a meter, so...
-But if it's something
274
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,965
that isn't completely out of the realm
of possibility for you,
275
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,844
then I'd be lying if I said it was out
of the realm of possibility for me.
276
00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:04,057
-Oh.
-So, let's go back.
277
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,810
You're saying that if we had
a pre-existing relationship,
278
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:11,315
or rather a relationship that existed
in a quantum state, like, to entangle...
279
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:15,152
You don't have to dumb it down,
but... But, yes.
280
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,779
We'd be good to go, legally speaking.
281
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,406
Huh.
282
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,910
Well, then, maybe
we should create evidence now
283
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:25,662
of a relationship that may
or may not happen later.
284
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,289
What kind of evidence?
285
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:31,335
I suppose we could exchange saucy texts.
286
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,586
-Seems logical.
-Yeah.
287
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,005
Okay.
288
00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:38,509
(MESSAGE TONES)
289
00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:42,804
-"You look beautiful today"?
-Is that too much?
290
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,390
No. No, no, no, but maybe delete mine...
291
00:12:45,474 --> 00:12:49,520
Oh, my God! You're so much
better at this than I am!
292
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,938
(SOFTLY) Shouldn't have sent it.
293
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:52,481
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
294
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,525
-Hello, you two.
-Hey.
295
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,985
-How about a little quiche?
-Oh. How European.
296
00:12:57,069 --> 00:12:58,612
Muah. Muah.
297
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,781
Oh, Ronaldo, what's your secret?
298
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,659
Cam got offered
that coaching job in Missouri,
299
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,536
and Pepper got his eighth face lift!
300
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,870
-What?
-I know.
301
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,038
We don't buy soup anymore
302
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,082
because he can't
close his mouth all the way.
303
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,252
-Cam, you got the job?
-And you're moving.
304
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,087
Damn it, Ronaldo! Apparently,
Pepper's not the only one
305
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,672
who can't keep his mouth closed.
306
00:13:16,755 --> 00:13:18,507
Go, serve your little apps.
307
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,425
(SIGHS)
308
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,636
-I can't believe this.
-Okay, don't panic.
309
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,763
I'm... I'm going to turn it down.
310
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,807
Really? But it's what
you've always wanted.
311
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:30,435
I know, but Mitchell, he's...
I've never seen him so happy.
312
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,729
And I can't ruin that. I'm...
313
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,857
I'm not even going to tell him
I got the offer.
314
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,568
Look, I am not a fan of the idea
of you guys leaving,
315
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,404
but if you don't tell Mitchell,
you're going to end up resenting him.
316
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,573
No, that's... That's not how I'm built.
317
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:46,076
I make decisions, move forward,
don't look back. No regrets.
318
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,160
(GLASS CLINKING)
319
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:51,290
Hey, everyone, I just want to thank you
all for coming to see our new home,
320
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,876
and meet our precious
new roommate, Rexford.
321
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:54,960
ALL: Aw!
322
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,838
And I also want to thank
my wonderful husband,
323
00:13:57,921 --> 00:14:00,841
Cam, who really led the charge
and made of all this possible. I...
324
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:04,595
I couldn't be happier right now,
and it's all because of him.
325
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:07,764
Now, if I could just get him
to give up hogging the covers, huh?
326
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:08,849
(LAUGHTER)
327
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:12,352
'Cause I haven't given up enough for you!
328
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:15,397
This is so embarrassing.
329
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,567
I just realized Ronaldo
was offering me quiche.
330
00:14:22,154 --> 00:14:25,407
So, you were never going to tell me
you got offered the job?
331
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:29,036
It's just that you just seemed so happy,
and I couldn't ask you to give that up.
332
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:31,830
Cam, you've been wanting
to move closer to your family for years.
333
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,833
And this is your dream job. No.
334
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,503
This is my chance to be there for you.
335
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:38,712
Are you sure?
336
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:44,134
I... I don't care where we live,
as long as you're there by my side.
337
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,219
Always.
338
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,720
ALL: Aw!
339
00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:51,141
All right. Now, let's celebrate
with some champagne.
340
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,351
Yeah.
341
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,063
Mitchell... Mitchell, that was beautiful.
342
00:14:56,146 --> 00:14:58,941
Well, everyone was looking at me,
what the (BLEEP) was I supposed to say?
343
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,570
(DOOR CLOSES)
344
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:07,574
How are you feeling?
345
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:10,285
Uh, it's gonna be weird without them
being here all the time.
346
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:11,620
Plus, they got the new kid.
347
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,331
Poor guy's gonna grow up
with those Missouri closets,
348
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,999
thinking that's normal.
349
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,961
It was so sweet how Mitch
didn't have to think twice about going.
350
00:15:19,044 --> 00:15:22,047
Well, it's like he said,
it's his turn to support Cam.
351
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,675
Almost the same thing
I'm trying to do for you,
352
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,968
except I'm pissing you off.
353
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:28,679
Because you won't do anything
the way that I would do it!
354
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,139
-I don't see anyone else complaining.
-That's the worst part.
355
00:15:31,223 --> 00:15:33,392
That nobody needs me! It's 2020.
356
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:36,687
I shouldn't be losing jobs
to an old white man.
357
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,817
When Manny gets homesick,
who do you think he's going to call?
358
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,987
When Joe has a nightmare,
who does he want?
359
00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:48,615
And when I'm sitting here,
already sad about Mitchell leaving,
360
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:51,076
who do you think I want
to walk into this room?
361
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:52,911
-Me?
-Of course.
362
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,872
And I think I know what's going on here.
363
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,249
You're feeling guilty
about working. Don't.
364
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:02,171
Do you think I ever felt guilty working
while you held down the fort here?
365
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,756
-You sure didn't.
-No, and now it's time for you
366
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,884
to go out into the world and crush it.
367
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,761
While you hold down the fort
and look pretty?
368
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:12,848
Well, I'm not just a sex object.
I have other gifts.
369
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,226
-(CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
-CLAIRE: Oh.
370
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:18,520
-That was a crazy day.
-Yeah.
371
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:20,606
I'm going to be up for a while tonight.
372
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,232
You want to buckle yourself into bed
373
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:23,317
and I'll drive you around
until you fall asleep?
374
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,401
-until you fall asleep?
-(LAUGHS)
375
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:30,157
You know, I...
I don't want to sleep in the driveway.
376
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:35,037
I don't. I want to sleep in our house
with our kids, all of them.
377
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,415
With what's going on
with Mitchell and Cam,
378
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,918
I just feel like we're losing
enough family as it is.
379
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,754
Funny. I was feeling that, too.
380
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:44,922
Mmm.
381
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,965
-You came down so hard on them earlier.
-Mmm.
382
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,426
-I'll go give them the good news.
-Like hell you will!
383
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,554
-Hey.
-Hi.
384
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:53,639
Oh, good, you're home.
385
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:54,973
Yeah. Are your brother and sister here?
386
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,975
I want to talk about
this whole living situation.
387
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,602
Actually, problem solved.
388
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,437
-I'm moving to Switzerland.
-What?
389
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:02,231
They're transferring
my research team there.
390
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:05,567
I get housing and everything,
so you're good.
391
00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,611
Like, "hot chocolate" Switzerland?
392
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,905
-Oh, hey, did you tell them our news?
-Uh, just mine.
393
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,699
Dylan and I are moving out, too.
394
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,660
Oh, but you don't have to.
395
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:18,163
We want to. You guys are right,
it's time for us to go.
396
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,791
We did the math and we realized
we had $1 million.
397
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:21,875
(CHUCKLES)
398
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,919
Then we had Alex check the math,
and turns out we don't,
399
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,462
but we do have enough
for a cute apartment.
400
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,756
Now that they don't test on animals,
401
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,676
I've made extra money
doing clinical trials at work.
402
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,135
The hours are long,
403
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:33,387
-but the mazes are fun.
-(DOOR OPENS)
404
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,681
Sweet, you're all here.
405
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,683
Everyone can relax,
I'll be the one who goes.
406
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,477
-Oh, no, no, Luke, it's okay.
-No, no, no, I lied before.
407
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:44,147
I actually did hear back
from University of Oregon.
408
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:45,399
I got in.
409
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:48,068
-Amazing!
-Oh, honey, that's wonderful.
410
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,028
-We're so proud of you.
-That's amazing, Luke.
411
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,738
Yeah, congrats.
412
00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:56,493
Wait, you're... You're all moving out?
413
00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:57,995
Really, we are?
414
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,663
-Yeah.
-Weird.
415
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:01,665
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
416
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,335
Oh, it's Arvin.
Sorry, I've got to respond to it.
417
00:18:05,836 --> 00:18:07,212
It's a work thing.
418
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,799
I've gotta get ready. I've got a date.
419
00:18:10,883 --> 00:18:11,967
(BABIES CRYING)
420
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:15,596
-Oh, there they are.
-I bet you're not going to miss that.
421
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,764
ALEX: Oh, Luke, I'm in here!
422
00:18:17,848 --> 00:18:18,849
LUKE: What are you doing?
423
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,058
ALEX: Oh, get out!
424
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,852
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-(BABIES CONTINUE CRYING)
425
00:18:25,022 --> 00:18:26,356
I am going to miss this.
426
00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:28,317
(SNIFFLES)
427
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,443
Me, too.
428
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,573
Hey. Everybody's gone.
429
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:36,783
Look... (SIGHS)
430
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,161
I haven't called the college yet.
431
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:43,957
I wanted to talk to you first.
I know you were being generous up there...
432
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:46,585
You know me, I... I can be happy anywhere.
433
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:51,215
No, seriously, after some time,
I'll forget all about this place.
434
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,675
We named our son after the street.
435
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:56,178
So we'll just change his name
to the new street.
436
00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:59,723
The coach's house is at the intersection
of Route 13 and Burnt Corn Lane.
437
00:19:00,724 --> 00:19:03,435
Dear God, what are we doing?
I... I'm not gonna fit in.
438
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:06,563
What if no one likes me?
What if I can't find a job?
439
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,274
Are there... Are there lattes?
Are there art house theaters?
440
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:11,109
What if I never see
a black and white movie?
441
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,736
Or a black and white couple?
442
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,988
Hey. Where are we on this move?
443
00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:17,866
That's what Daddy and I are
talking about right now, sweetie.
444
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:19,868
'Cause I have a major project
due on Tuesday,
445
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,037
and I'm not saying I haven't started it,
446
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,082
but if you asked to see what I've done
so far, there wouldn't be anything.
447
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,792
We're going.
448
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,670
Are you sure?
449
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:33,715
I'm gonna need a little time
to adjust, but we... We are going.
450
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,928
-Are you okay with that?
-Totally. I'll reinvent myself.
451
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,181
I'm gonna dye my hair blue
and carry around an emotional support pig.
452
00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:43,141
Oh, I know... I know just the pig!
453
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,476
Cam, well, call the college.
454
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,186
Okay, I just want this
to be the right thing.
455
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,647
If this ends up hurting the family,
I would never forgive myself.
456
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,233
No. No, we're stronger than that, okay?
We're gonna be fine.
457
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,860
-Yeah.
-(SLOW MUSIC PLAYS)
458
00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:54,862
-Not... Not now, Lily.
-You guys are gonna end up singing.
459
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,238
Just get to it.
460
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:59,825
Excuse me, young lady,
having a serious conversation here, okay?
461
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:02,369
Do not reduce us to a couple
of stereotypical...
462
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,246
(SINGING) My love
463
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:10,419
There's only you in my life
464
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:15,340
The only thing that's bright
465
00:20:15,883 --> 00:20:17,676
Why do I always
have to sing the female part?
466
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,138
My first love
467
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:26,393
You're every breath that I take
468
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:31,064
You're every step I make
469
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,525
Ugh! What was I thinking?
470
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:38,947
You will always be
471
00:20:39,531 --> 00:20:44,786
My endless love
472
00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:51,293
Two hearts
Two hearts that beat as one
473
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,837
Ew, I do not like being
the first person at a party.
474
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:55,214
Oh, actually, you're the last one.
475
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,507
Yeah, Sal, everybody's gone.
476
00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:59,968
What? Boo! Gays used to be
so fun before kids.
477
00:21:00,052 --> 00:21:01,803
Come on, let's do shots!
478
00:21:01,887 --> 00:21:04,348
You know this house is only
a block from my new place.
479
00:21:04,932 --> 00:21:07,434
Well, it's not "mine,"
but I get to stay there for free
480
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:10,145
'cause I let the guy
who owns it watch me on web cams.
481
00:21:10,229 --> 00:21:14,149
(INHALES SHARPLY) Boo,
I'm going to be coming over all the time.
482
00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:15,317
Yay!
483
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,488
And, um, Happy Face Emoji here
can babysit my dogs and kid,
484
00:21:19,571 --> 00:21:21,448
and you guys cook, right?
485
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:23,325
(SIGHS) 'Cause my gummy's kicking in.
486
00:21:23,408 --> 00:21:24,868
Actually, I'm feeling better
about the move already.
487
00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:25,953
Yeah.