00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:03,254 --> 00:00:05,881 What's the key to being a great dad? 2 00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:10,302 Ah, that's a tough one. 3 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,596 Giving them the freedom to be whatever they want to be. 4 00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:14,514 Right. Exactly. Whether that's a painter, 5 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:17,100 a poet, a pilot, a president- 6 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:20,604 And for us, we're gonna- of a company or of a country. 7 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,483 Patience. 8 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,279 Well, be their buddy. 9 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,364 That's your answer? And stay in school. 10 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,200 No. And don't do drugs. 11 00:00:33,326 --> 00:00:35,202 No! Just give me the answer. 12 00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,953 0h, God. 13 00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,666 Still thinking. 14 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,711 [Man] ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 15 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:48,840 ♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey ♪ 16 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:51,968 ♪ Hey, hey Hey ♪♪ 17 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,186 Hi, Claire. Hey. 18 00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:03,063 Hey. Oh, okay. 19 00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:06,316 Hi. Um, this is my husband, Phil. 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,944 Hi. And, uh, that's my son, Luke, right there. 21 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,987 This is- Desiree. 22 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,948 Desiree, right. Sorry. Oh, hi. 23 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,575 Desiree just moved in down the block. Fun. Where? 24 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,285 314. Oh! 25 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:19,788 The two-bedroom cottage with the indoor-outdoor family room. 26 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,456 Very good. How did you- 27 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,084 Bet you're lovin' that steam shower. Phil, that's creepy. 28 00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:27,462 0h, sorry. I'm a- I'm a real estate mogul. 29 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:30,173 "What?" No, I'm a- I am a real estate agent. 30 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:32,550 We caravanned that house. Great, uh, deck. 31 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:35,887 Thanks. I'm just there till my divorce is final. 32 00:01:35,972 --> 00:01:38,431 Now, who is coconuts enough to divorce you? 33 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:41,059 We gotta go, but we'll see you around. 34 00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:43,061 We'll have to have you over sometime. 35 00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,813 I'd love it. All right. 36 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,690 Bye. Bye. 37 00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:49,609 She's awesome. No, we are never having her over. 38 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:52,195 Heard she already slept with two dads from the school. 39 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,947 What? Mm-hmm. 40 00:01:54,031 --> 00:01:55,657 That's horrible. 41 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:59,119 Dad, watch out! Whoa! Watch it, buddy! 42 00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:00,912 [Luke] Grandma. I'm sorry. 43 00:02:00,997 --> 00:02:03,415 That still looks like a girl's bike. 44 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,417 We'll add more black tape. 45 00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:08,253 [Phil] My son has been riding his sister's old bike. 46 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,298 Until he's responsible enough to take care of his own bike. 47 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,383 Look, he spilled a soda on my computer, 48 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,511 he ruined our digital camera taking pictures of himself underwater. 49 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,847 It's a girl's bike. I'm all for teaching him a lesson. 50 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:23,310 But I worry about the ridicule he might get from some loudmouth bully. 51 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:27,314 - [Horn Honking] - Hey, hey, hey. Nice bike, Sally. 52 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:30,900 - Dad! - Come on. He looks like Little Bo Peep on that thing. 53 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,320 Actually, not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon. 54 00:02:33,404 --> 00:02:35,071 I am? Mm-hmm. 55 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,324 He is? 56 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:40,327 [Phil] Sometimes a man's gotta put his foot down and do what a man's gotta do. 57 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,746 And if the old lady don't like it- 58 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,748 Honey? 59 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,668 That's too damn bad. 60 00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:51,588 [Mitchell] Yes. Who's excited, huh? 61 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,090 Cam, come on. Hurry up. We're gonna be late. 62 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,968 It's a toddler play class, not a flight to Cabo. 63 00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:59,054 We're gonna be judged enough as the only gay parents there. 64 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,638 I don't wanna be the late ones too. 65 00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,350 Wow! Paisley and pink. 66 00:03:03,434 --> 00:03:05,310 Was there something wrong with the fishnet tank top? 67 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,687 Obviously not. I'm wearing it underneath. 68 00:03:07,772 --> 00:03:10,315 Kidding. Just chill, please. Here. 69 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,567 I'm sorry. I just wanna make a good first impression. 70 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,028 You wanna fit in and not terrify the villagers? Hey, come on. 71 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,364 Today is about Lily, all right? 72 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,449 Her future best friend might be in that class, 73 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,618 and I don't wanna rub anyone the wrong way. 74 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:24,829 Can you please just change your shirt? 75 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:27,874 Fine. You know what? I'll just go put on a pair of khakis, maybe a polo shirt, 76 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,460 and everybody will think we're a couple straight golfin' buddies... 77 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,670 who just decided to have a kid together. 78 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,672 [Dog Barking In Distance] 79 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:39,177 Hey, I called that place in Napa and got us upgraded to a villa with a hot tub. 80 00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:42,722 So pack whatever you wear in a hot tub. Mmm! 81 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:45,850 I usually wear nothing when I'm in a hot tub. 82 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:48,561 And my college roommate's wife just had to get a new hip. 83 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,563 Sucker. 84 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:53,858 Manny's father is taking him for a couple of days to Disneyland, 85 00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:56,236 so we're gonna go to the wine country. 86 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,988 We're gonna drink some wine, eat some good food. 87 00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:03,535 You know, we would do something like this a lot more often if it wasn't for, you know, Manny. 88 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:07,247 He's good. He keep us grounded. Yeah. 89 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:09,541 Like fog at an airport. 90 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,877 Limo gets here at 4:00. This morning, I thought I'd go to the club, hit a few balls. 91 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:15,296 No! What about the fan in Manny's room? 92 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,882 0h, yeah. Call a guy. 93 00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,635 No! You're supposed to do it with him. 94 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,721 It's important that we teach him how to do things for himself. 95 00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:26,391 In my culture, men take great pride in doing physical labor. 96 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:30,270 I know. That's why I hire people from your culture. 97 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:33,648 [Laughing] You're too funny. 98 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:37,569 I'm gonna share that one with my next husband when we're spending all your money. 99 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:42,740 Dad, this is the coolest bike ever. Awesome. 100 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,868 So, listen, buddy. 101 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,247 Certain members of this family don't think you can take care of this bad boy. 102 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,624 You mean Mom? Your words, not mine. 103 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:55,211 Look, uh, your mom and I are a team, 104 00:04:55,296 --> 00:05:00,508 and she- we feel like this is a chance for you to show some responsibility. 105 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:02,844 Don't make us look like jerks here. 106 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,013 I won't. Okay. 107 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,098 One more rule. What? 108 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,809 Have, like, three butt-loads of fun. 109 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,978 Thanks, Dad. 110 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,156 - So let's do this. - 0kay, but I need to be done by 3:00. 111 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,241 That's when my dad's picking me up. 112 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,703 Hey, if we're not done by 3:00, I'm gonna tie a noose on this thing. 113 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,581 [Gloria] In Colombia there's a saying: 114 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,209 "If you have two stubborn burros that don't like each other, 115 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,503 you tie them to the same cart." 116 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:39,255 The ceiling fan is the cart. 117 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,799 My dad's taking me on Space Mountain. 118 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,802 It's supposed to be really fast, but he's not scared of anything. 119 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:48,515 He doesn't even wear a seat belt when he drives. Wow. How 'bout that? 120 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:52,268 - Killed a bear once. - Really? Was the bear sittin' in the passenger seat? 121 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:56,231 Read me the instructions. 122 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:59,359 "Safety tips. Warning: To reduce the risk of electrical shock"- 123 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:02,445 We can skip that. 124 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,865 Uh, "Failure to heed these warnings can lead to serious injury or death." 125 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,034 You know, you worry too much. You know that. 126 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,702 Nobody's gonna get shocked. 127 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,038 One time my dad was struck by lightning. 128 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,707 That's why he can drink as much as he wants. 129 00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,210 [Jay] Manny thinks his dad is like Superman. 130 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,879 The truth? He's a total flake. 131 00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,173 In fact, the only way he's like Superman... 132 00:06:22,258 --> 00:06:24,842 is that they both landed in this country illegally. 133 00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:27,345 [Babies Babbling] 134 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,389 I can't believe I'm so nervous. 135 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,474 They're gonna love us. Let's just be ourselves. 136 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:33,726 0r a slightly toned-down version of ourselves. 137 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,813 [Scoffs] I just don't want this to become an episode of "The Cam Show." 138 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:38,856 0h, my gosh. People love "The Cam Show." Yes, I know. 139 00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,567 You watch "The Cam Show." I do watch it. 140 00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,402 It's appointment viewing. Okay. 141 00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,487 Hi! Hi! Are you here for Toddler Time? 142 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,073 Yes. I-I'm Mitchell. This is Cameron. Hello. 143 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,200 And this here is Lily. 144 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,494 0h, well! Welcome. 145 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,122 - We're all over here taking turns blowing bubbles. - Oh! 146 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:58,459 Well, how nice for... the babies. 147 00:06:58,544 --> 00:07:00,837 Mm-hmm. [Giggling] 148 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,132 This is gonna be really difficult. 149 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,676 [Horn Honking] 150 00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:19,188 Ten minutes after making a promise to me, he leaves his bike unlocked. 151 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:22,233 All I can hear is Claire's voice in my head- 152 00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:24,235 [High-pitched Voice] "He's not responsible. 153 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,779 You never should have given him a bike." 154 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:29,699 I know. I do a pretty good Claire. 155 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,869 So I decided to teach him a lesson... 156 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,997 and let him think his bike was stolen. 157 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:40,460 And I know that sounds kind of rough, but sometimes it's a dad's job to be the tough guy. 158 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,211 Excuse me! Thank you. 159 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,213 On your left! My left. Your right! 160 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:51,220 Everyone, we have a new family joining us today. 161 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:55,224 Hi. I'm, uh, Mitchell, and I am a lawyer. 162 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,061 I- I'm Cameron, and I'm currently not working, 163 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:03,107 which gives me more time to grill and shoot baskets and- 164 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,109 And this is Lily. 165 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,320 Okay, we're gonna start with the Hello Dance, 166 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,947 and then we're gonna move on to blocks, then finger painting, 167 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,450 and then we're gonna do our Family Dance. 168 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,535 All right. Who wants to start us off? 169 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,913 ♪♪ [Upbeat] Dance us in, P. J! 170 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,085 [Baby Cooing] 171 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,754 She's adorable. Oh, thank you. 172 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,756 Seven months? Uh, eight. 173 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,884 0h! Is she grabbing or scooting yet? 174 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,969 Yes. Absolutely. 175 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:35,098 I mean, when she's not grabbin', she is- she is scootin'. 176 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,517 Dance us in, Tyler! 177 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,269 [Gasps] Are you ready? Okay. Here we go. 178 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:43,189 Whoo! Oh! 179 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,234 Cam, Lily is not grabbing or scooting yet. 180 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:49,112 Well, she's not doing it yet, but she will eventually. 181 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,240 No, but, see, a lot of these other kids, they're- they're grabbing. 182 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,200 I-I just- Here. Come- 183 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,370 Lily. Look at the block, huh? Grab the block, Lily. Grab the "H." 184 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,455 Dance us in, Lily! 185 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,332 Okay. I got this. Cam, just- 186 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:04,377 Yes, I know. Tamp down my natural gifts and dance like a straight guy. 187 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:07,755 No slapping your own butt. But that's how I make my horsey go. 188 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:23,104 - Thank you. - [Scattered Applause] 189 00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,356 That was very good. 190 00:09:25,441 --> 00:09:28,109 I feel dirty. [Baby Squeals] 191 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,528 [Grunts] 192 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:32,780 0h, hey. Hey! Hi. 193 00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,782 Hi. Hi. 194 00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:38,369 Uh, this is really embarrassing, but I locked myself out of my house. 195 00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:42,623 0h! Pssh! I do that all the time. Don't be embarrassed. 196 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,084 I was- I was hoping you could help me. 197 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,211 There's a window open, but I can't reach it. 198 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,297 Would you mind? 199 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,677 Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Great. 200 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,388 0f course. You know what they say- 201 00:09:57,473 --> 00:10:00,683 "Every time God closes a door, he opens a window." 202 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:04,312 0r I guess in this case, every time he locks you out. Okay, what do we got here? 203 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:07,315 I mean, am I attracted to her? Yes. 204 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,609 Would I ever act on it? No. No way. 205 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,987 Not while my wife is still alive. [Door Closes] 206 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,323 Are you sure I can't get you something to drink? 207 00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:17,450 Yeah. No, I'm- I'm fine. Really. 208 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:21,454 If I knew a man was gonna climb into my bedroom window, I would have cleaned up a bit. 209 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,748 Are you kidding me? It smelled great in there. 210 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,792 Like lotions and oils... 211 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,544 for... dry skin and, you know, calloused hands. 212 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,546 Yeah, it's a candle. 213 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,632 Uh-oh. What's wrong? 214 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,385 The bike's gone. Oh, no. 215 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,888 Can I help you find it? That's all right. Thank you. 216 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,890 0kay. Thank you! 217 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:45,520 So, to teach him a lesson, I took his bike, 218 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:49,816 and then- crazy thing- I put it down for one minute, and someone swiped it from me. 219 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,568 Maybe that was your dad teaching you a lesson. 220 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:56,072 [Forced Laugh] Zinger. 221 00:10:56,156 --> 00:11:00,576 So, any chance I could, uh, get a break on this one? 222 00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,620 I can throw in a bell- Deal. 223 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,664 For five dollars. No, sir. 224 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:08,793 So, you wanna go for the insurance this time, or is it still for suckers? 225 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:11,587 [Forced Laugh] Got me again. 226 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:14,423 Well played, milord. 227 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,717 I will take some insurance. Thank you. 228 00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,846 What's going on in there? 229 00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:21,848 That's not step four. Don't worry about it. 230 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:24,559 It says right here that you should- That's worrying about it. 231 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,853 I thought you guys might need a drink. 232 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,855 0h, you have no idea. 233 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:32,108 Manny, miamor, I have to go get some stuff for our trip. 234 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,778 ¡Ay! But have some fun with your father, okay? And I'll see you Monday. 235 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:40,491 Mwah! It makes me so happy to see my two boys working together. 236 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,910 Jay shocked himself twice. 0kay, Manny. 237 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,955 Well, I warned him. Yep, he's been a big help. 238 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,041 Look at you two with your private jokes already. 239 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:52,086 You're a regular Salazar and El Oso. 240 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,755 It's a very big comedy team in Colombia. 241 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,342 El Oso is always hitting Salazar in the head with the ladder and things. 242 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,887 And sometimes they wear dresses. Hmm. 243 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:04,599 They make you laugh, but they also make you think. 244 00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,853 You blew it. You made me look bad. 245 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,481 No, you made your mother and I look bad. We are a team. 246 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,568 Luke, you in there? Hey, Dad. 247 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,904 Hey. Hey, buddy. [Video Game Sounds] 248 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:21,198 That was, uh- That was pretty fun today, huh? Getting a new bike. 249 00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,869 Yeah, it was awesome. So, uh, what happened after I took off? 250 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,622 Anything you want to share with me? Not really. 251 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,416 So, if I, uh, went out to the garage, 252 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,294 took a picture for a scrapbook, there'd be no surprises? 253 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:38,591 I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it. I just made a mistake. 254 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,469 Yeah, a big mistake! You're making me look really bad here. 255 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,596 I told Mom you were ready for this. 256 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,432 - It's just a scratch, Dad. - That's not the point, Luke! What? 257 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:50,144 I scratched it on my way into the driveway. I'm sorry. 258 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:52,772 So, it's not stolen? 259 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:55,191 No. Why? 260 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,234 That's good, 261 00:12:57,319 --> 00:13:00,655 'cause... there are bad people out there who would steal a bike. 262 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,406 Those are thieves. 263 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,867 You sit there and think about the scratch part. That's not good either. 264 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,619 [Clattering] I gotta fix that step. 265 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,122 So don't scratch anything while I'm gone, unless it itches. That's different. 266 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:14,418 The good news is, Luke has his bike. 267 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,462 More good news- 268 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:20,049 I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike. 269 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,052 Best news- Claire knows nothing. 270 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:27,390 So, I figure I'll just dump the new bike where I stole the first bike. 271 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,684 That way, random kid gets his back, 272 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:32,478 and this new bike doesn't raise a lot of embarrassing questions... 273 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:36,524 like why I had it or who boosted who through a bedroom window. 274 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,443 So, everybody's happy. 275 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:42,321 [Gear Shifts] Uh-oh. 276 00:13:42,406 --> 00:13:45,825 Ah, son of a- You gave me the wrong screwdriver. 277 00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,868 Maybe you're just using it wrong. 278 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:51,580 My dad's great with tools. He can get the wheels off a car in less than a minute. 279 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,500 [Quietly] Just get me to wine country. Just get me to wine country. 280 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,210 Ow! Sorry! 281 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,921 I think my arm is broken. Relax. It's not broken. 282 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,048 How do you know? You don't know anything. 283 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,009 You have no concern for safety. 284 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,720 Because it didn't hit you that hard. Why don't you just say it? 285 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,848 You don't want me around. You know what? Right now, I don't! 286 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:12,018 I don't wanna be with you either. I'm gonna go wait for my dad. 287 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,187 0h, but- but if you leave, how will I ever finish? 288 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:18,566 You know what? I wish you never married my mom. 289 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,193 I hate living here. You think I like this arrangement? 290 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:24,280 I got a two-seater parked in the driveway! 291 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,996 I mean, I don't understand. 292 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,373 Why are you trying to sneak around and hide things from me? 293 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,834 I actually think it's pretty funny. You do? 294 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,919 I do. Yes. 295 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:43,049 I mean, you steal a bike from some poor kid, and then the bike gets stolen from you. 296 00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,259 It's hilarious. [Laughing] 297 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,344 Classic me, right? Yeah! 298 00:14:47,471 --> 00:14:50,931 So, where were you when it got stolen? Oh, I was getting some gas. 299 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,185 Uh-huh. You don't stand near the car when you get gas? 300 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:57,688 Yep, but, uh, I went inside to get a soda because I was thirsty, 301 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,815 and if I had a soda, I wouldn't be thirsty anymore. 302 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,319 So I bought one, then I drank it all right there, which is why I don't have the can. 303 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:07,406 Well, honey, please, let's try to remember that I'm your wife, not your mom. 304 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:10,659 So in the future, you don't need to hide things from me. Okay? 305 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,620 0kay. Okay. 306 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,456 0kay. Oh! Oh, yeah. 307 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,417 You get back here, you! What are you doing, Phil? 308 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,377 I just love ya so darn much! 309 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,880 I know. I love you too, but that hurts. Let's get you inside. 310 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,007 Hi. I know. That's hurting a lot. 311 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,009 [Phil] This is a hot one. Hello! Hi there! 312 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,053 Hi again. Oh, hi. 313 00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,013 I, uh, found your bike. 314 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,224 Uh- Oh, good! You- 315 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,018 At the gas station? No, at my house. 316 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:40,523 One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my garage when you were in my bedroom, so- 317 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,861 Classic me? 318 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,739 Come on, honey. Grab the block. 319 00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:51,075 See, like he did. You gotta do that. 320 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:54,787 You gotta grab it like him. So, seen any movies lately? 321 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,539 Uh, yeah. 322 00:15:56,623 --> 00:16:00,960 You know, my husband and I just rented, uh, Mamma Mia! Which I liked, 323 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,630 but I don't know that Meryl Streep was the right choice. 324 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,841 What did you think? 325 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:10,928 Excuse me. Meryl Streep could play Batman and be the right choice. 326 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,930 She's perfection... 327 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:16,308 whether she's divorcing Kramer, whether she's wearing Prada. 328 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,061 Don't even get me started on Sophie's Choice. 329 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,730 I get emotional thinking about it. 330 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,734 She couldn't forgive herself. 331 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,114 [Whimpers] 332 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,324 I guess she was okay. 333 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:34,201 Really? Ooh. 334 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:35,953 Uh-uh-uh. 335 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,955 Grab the blocks, sweetheart. 336 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:41,333 - You're not even interested in it. - Is Henry stacking? 337 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,627 Good job, Henry! 338 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,629 Good job! 339 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:52,303 ♪ Q-R-S T-U-V ♪ 340 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:56,015 ♪ W-X-Y and Z ♪ 341 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:58,350 ♪ Now I know my- ♪♪ 342 00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,811 Whoa, Lily! Oh! 343 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,689 Not so high. Wow! 344 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,733 - That is a big moment for her. - Yeah. 345 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,735 Would you like a videotape? 346 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:11,447 Uh, you know, I don't- I don't know if I can actually get her to do it again, so- 347 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,325 Well, we tape all of our classes. 348 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,328 We don't like parents bringing cameras in. It keeps them out of the moment. 349 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,163 I'll get you a copy after class. That's super. Yeah. 350 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,956 Great. Thank you. 351 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,710 Cam. Cam, let's go. 352 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,922 I don't know what's happened to me, but I just stole a baby's intellectual property. 353 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,715 What? You'll see it tonight on the news. 354 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:33,594 - Come on. Let's just go. - Oh, look who's here! 355 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,804 Anton and Scott! Sorry we're late! 356 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,891 Don't look at me. The eye candy here can't leave the house... 357 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,143 without spending 20 minutes in front of the mirror. 358 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:43,520 [Laughter] Are you kidding me? 359 00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:46,190 I am so sorry. 360 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,567 Look at those queens. I would have killed with this crowd. 361 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,487 But you had to clip my wings- which you used to be the wind beneath. 362 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,740 I know. I'm sor- This class has turned me into a complete monster. 363 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,243 I'm- I'm just- I'll make it up to you. Let's just go. 364 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:00,162 Okay, it's time for Parents Dance. 365 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,915 Everybody dance for your baby! ♪♪ [Dance] 366 00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,125 [Applause] [Baby Squeals] 367 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:06,877 [Woman] Wow! 368 00:18:06,962 --> 00:18:09,046 You wanna do it, don't you? 369 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,756 I do. 370 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,675 I wanna dance for my baby. 371 00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,760 All right. Go on. Get in there. You sure? 372 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,263 Make that horsey move. Go ahead. 373 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:22,184 [Baby Squeals] [Cheering] 374 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,732 Go, go! 375 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,282 ♪ G-Get it on ♪ 376 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,410 0h, I think I hurt myself. 377 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,967 [Phone Rings] 378 00:18:57,012 --> 00:19:00,472 Hello. Hey, Javier. 379 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,183 Manny's waiting for you outside. 380 00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:05,936 What? Why not? 381 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,523 Hold that thought. 382 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:13,360 [Jay] His son's sitting on a curb, waiting to go to Disneyland, 383 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:17,990 and Superman can't drag himself away from a craps table, 384 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,075 and I'm the jerk. 385 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,872 Say, listen. 386 00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,999 I, uh- 387 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:30,586 Sorry, but I got some bad news. What? 388 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:34,214 Your dad couldn't make it. Why not? 389 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,342 The plane was full, 390 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:40,012 and this old lady needed to get home, so he gave up his seat. 391 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:42,056 You're making that up, aren't you? No. 392 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,058 He just didn't want to come. 393 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:47,561 Are you kidding me? He was very upset. He was dying to see you. 394 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,688 [Vehicle Approaches] 395 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,774 In fact, look what he sent. 396 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:55,152 A limo? Yeah. 397 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,571 He wanted me and your mom to take you to Disneyland. 398 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:01,200 I told you he was an awesome dad. Yeah, he's a prince. 399 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,287 Okay. The key to being a good dad? 400 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:10,167 Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. 401 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:13,962 Race you to the end. That is not a good idea... for you. 402 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:19,760 [Jay] Sometimes they don't. You gotta hang in there. 403 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,305 Because when all is said and done, 404 00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:28,268 90% of being a dad... 405 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,437 is just showin' up. 406 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:46,870 Hey! That's my bike! Oh, I don't, uh- 407 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:50,165 Well- 408 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:54,169 [Grunts] You- I was giving it back! 409 00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,633 She couldn't forgive herself. 410 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:04,054 And... she had to choose. 411 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,432 I think because now I have- 412 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:09,685 we have- we have- we have Lily, 413 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:14,148 it's so hard to imagine being put in that position. 414 00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:16,400 If I had to choose Lily or Mitchell, 415 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,569 I mean, I would choose Li- 416 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:22,156 I don't know! I don't know! 417 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,158 [Inhales] 418 00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:29,204 I don't know! 419 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,082 ENGLISH - US - PSDH