1
00:00:02,820 --> 00:00:04,810
Ay,finally!
2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:08,360
look who's wearing
her itsy bitsy bikini.
3
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,810
He can comment because he's raggay.
4
00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:12,110
- He was talking about lily.
- So was i.
5
00:00:12,140 --> 00:00:14,900
Ay,cam,you make her look so pretty.
6
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,840
- Guess who's not coming for christmas.
- And the spotlight shifts.
7
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,640
- Mom. She cancelled.
- What?
8
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:20,910
In a voice mail,no less.
9
00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:23,560
Unbelievable-and by
that,I mean believable.
10
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,950
Why isn't nana coming?
11
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:28,630
I don't know. Something about her new
boyfriend whisking her away on a cruise.
12
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:31,200
- I just got my gift.
- What boyfriend?
13
00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:34,080
carl the cruise ship captain.
14
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:35,660
It was in her holiday newsletter.
15
00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:37,440
Oh,I can't read that whole thing. No.
16
00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,600
Yeah,after two pages about
the bird she rescued...
17
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,660
And by the way,I don't think you can
say you rescued something if it dies.
18
00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,730
- It died?
- She wrote a poem about it.
19
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:48,590
A little too free with the free verse for
my taste,but fine,we'll call it a poem.
20
00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,600
I stopped reading after she
talked about suing her book club.
21
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:55,080
Oh,I stopped reading after "dear
friends,family and others... "
22
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,660
i'm sorry. Who are "others"?
23
00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,820
- me.
- No,you're not... Uh,maybe you are.
24
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:03,410
Actually,she's kind of
at her best at christmas.
25
00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:04,570
She makes a mean cookie.
26
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,710
What other kind could she possibly make?
27
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:11,160
Aw,it's so sad that you guys are not
gonna be with your mom this christmas.
28
00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:12,910
- It's fine.
- Yeah,it's more than fine.
29
00:01:12,950 --> 00:01:14,490
Let's just
- Can we move off of mom?
30
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:15,670
Yes,please.
31
00:01:15,710 --> 00:01:17,050
Yeah,and the upside now,mitchell-
32
00:01:17,090 --> 00:01:20,840
We can spend christmas in missouri
where it actually feels like christmas.
33
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:22,810
Wait. Hang on a second.
Just because mom isn't coming
34
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,240
doesn't mean we're not gonna
spend christmas together.
35
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,070
I mean,it's about family.
36
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,110
Who do you think we're seeing in
missouri,claire,the oak ridge boys?
37
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,740
Hold on. I thought we were all getting
together christmas eve this year.
38
00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:34,290
We're on a flight to mexico the 25th.
39
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,100
What do you mean,you're
getting on a flight on the 25th?
40
00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,510
You two needed time with your mom.
41
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:40,870
- I've already served my time with your mom.
- Oh,dad.
42
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,980
Well,uh,well,when are we
gonna have christmas then?
43
00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:45,450
I heard kids are getting
snatched in mexico.
44
00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:48,100
- What?
- Kids get snatched here just as much.
45
00:01:48,140 --> 00:01:50,620
It happens all the
time. Don't be scared.
46
00:01:50,650 --> 00:01:51,790
Now when you say "all the time" -
47
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,770
okay,well what about next weekend?
'cause we don't leave till the 21st,right?
48
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:57,110
Yeah,we leave tomorrow and we
don't come back until the 21st.
49
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,650
Hey,math club,could you
get me some more lemonade?
50
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,210
Are we saying that this is the last
time we're all gonna be together
51
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:04,300
as a family until after the holidays?
52
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,010
- And for you,maybe ever.
- Well,this stinks.
53
00:02:07,050 --> 00:02:09,570
- Yeah,we can't do this. This is not right.
- We always spend christmas together.
54
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:11,950
Yeah,we have to do something about it.
55
00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:14,740
Ho,ho,hold up a sec.
56
00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:19,690
We're all free today. We've got four
hours to shop,cook,wrap,get a tree.
57
00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:22,540
By tonight,we could be
celebrating christmas,right?
58
00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:23,590
I
- I guess we could do that.
59
00:02:23,630 --> 00:02:24,670
Of course we can!
60
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:26,370
Have you ever heard
of express christmas?
61
00:02:26,410 --> 00:02:28,470
No. No,you haven't,because
I just invented it.
62
00:02:28,510 --> 00:02:30,290
Express christmas,"tm."
63
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,250
- It's when you can't have it on christmas day...
- I got it.
64
00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:33,840
- And you have to scramble.
- Get on with it!
65
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,530
We're wasting time! We're wasting time!
66
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,820
Everyone in the house!
We'll make a plan!
67
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:41,330
Time is of the-oh! Ow!
Hot! Hot! It's just too hot!
68
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,780
Oh,phil!
69
00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:46,180
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=-
Proudly Presents
70
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:51,550
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=-
Sync:ÉƤ°®ÂüÄá
71
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:54,090
Modern Family
Season 3 Episode 10
72
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:57,030
- So we're really doing this,huh?
- Yes.
73
00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:59,020
'cause I had stuff lined
up for christmas eve.
74
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:03,290
Yeah,jay. It's manny's last
chance to enjoy a family christmas.
75
00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:04,800
Until next year,you mean.
76
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:08,240
- Well,with all the snatchings...
- Get out of my head,luke!
77
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,680
Okay,who's gonna get the tree?
78
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:13,690
Oh! I will. I will. Because,you
know,get the wrong kind,people get upset.
79
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:15,450
- You get upset.
- I'm people.
80
00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:17,730
Fine,I'll get the
turkey. What about gifts?
81
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,170
- Jay,did we finish shopping?
- Yeah,but we're not wrapped.
82
00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:22,040
Oh,I can help with that. We
have a mobile wrapping station.
83
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,770
God,has that thing paid for itself.
84
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,130
Really? 'cause I feel
like I paid for it.
85
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,560
Okay. We've got lights
and ornaments at our place.
86
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:28,660
Oh! You know what would be great?
87
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,140
- Is the angel!
- The angel.
88
00:03:30,180 --> 00:03:31,240
Yeah. Where is it?
89
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,110
Oh. Um,gloria,it's up in
your attic. Would you get it?
90
00:03:33,150 --> 00:03:34,850
Ay,no! Not the attic!
91
00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:37,540
it's dirty,and there are spiders.
92
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,590
Oh,but it really won't
be christmas without it.
93
00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,690
Won't be christmas with
it. It's december 16th.
94
00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:43,930
Luke will help gloria. He's not scared.
95
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,250
Oh,good. You won't find me in any attic.
96
00:03:46,290 --> 00:03:48,910
That may be exactly where they find you.
97
00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:49,950
mom!
98
00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:53,590
Uh,I have a party tonight. You promised
I could go if I got a "b" on my test.
99
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:56,270
I studied. I read stuff. What
was the point of all that?
100
00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:58,150
- The point,young lady,is for...
- Who can remember?
101
00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,460
Express christmas will be done by 9:00.
102
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,150
- Claire,I'll text you the gift list.
- Okay.
103
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:03,630
You and haley do the shopping.
104
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:05,950
Manny,you're coming with me.
We're gonna get groceries.
105
00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:08,140
Dinner,our house,6:00.
106
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:09,700
Let's move!
107
00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:14,150
On dasher! On dancer!
On prancer and vixen!
108
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,860
Hey,that kind of worked out.
109
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:23,210
Come on,haley. It'll be fun. A lot
of fun. We can go to target. Okay?
110
00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:26,020
Come on,let's go!
111
00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:29,260
So it's-it's just me and
lily getting the tree,then?
112
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,960
- Hello?
- Hello?
113
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,910
My mom tells me it's "xmas" in a text?
114
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:36,550
Yeah,well,my mom
canceled in a voice mail
115
00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:40,770
and told me she had a boyfriend in
a newsletter,so... Join the team.
116
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:42,840
Put some clothes on.
We're getting a tree.
117
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,150
Wait. Hold on.
118
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,440
- Luke!
- At what?
119
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,540
What do you mean,"at
what"? I said "luke."
120
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,370
I am looking.
121
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,610
I know you are. Stay on the beams.
122
00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:59,520
Maybe it's here.
123
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,420
Ay,dios mio! El diablo! It's back!
124
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:08,510
What is so special
about that angel,anyways?
125
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:12,610
I don't know. I guess nana made it for
mom and uncle mitchell when they were kids.
126
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,000
Ay,that's nice.
127
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,670
Look where you're going!
128
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,090
To open more boxes.
129
00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:26,360
oh,you said "look where
you're going," didn't you?
130
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,920
yes.
131
00:05:27,950 --> 00:05:30,630
Every time you say "luke,"
I think you're saying "look."
132
00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:32,310
I don't hear the difference.
133
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,530
It's not that hard. One is my name.
134
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,920
Juan is not your name!
135
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,020
Stop kidding around and look,luke!
136
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,670
Ay,I get it. "look" sounds like "luke."
137
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,680
yes. Thank god.
138
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,680
I've been carrying that
one around for three years.
139
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,780
Ugh. There's like a
hundred things on this list.
140
00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:54,280
I know but it's just
the two of us. It's fun.
141
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,620
Okay,it's not fake mother's day.
142
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:59,120
Ugh! This place is huge!
143
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:01,140
oh,plus we have to cook dinner!
144
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,410
This is impossible.
145
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,360
Listen to me.
146
00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:07,640
Your whole life has led to this moment.
147
00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:11,480
All the training,the
hours of dedication...
148
00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:14,350
There's not a soul alive who can
touch you when it comes to shopping,
149
00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:15,530
and,baby,you know it.
150
00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,570
Look at me.
151
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,280
Be you.
152
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,300
Give me that list.
153
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,140
Never been more proud in my life.
154
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:26,080
- Come on.
- no.
155
00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:29,090
This way.
156
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,210
What about this one?
157
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,280
Let's see. No. No.
158
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,010
I'm sorry,I know I'm being
really o.c.d. Right now,
159
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,440
but there's something very
particular that I'm looking for.
160
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,980
It needs to be a douglas fir,at least 8
feet tall,and look good from all sides.
161
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,230
Exactly. No bald spots.
162
00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:47,210
Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
163
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,600
The key is symmetry,right?
164
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:54,690
how come we never go shopping together?
165
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:57,140
- Because I hate shopping.
- I do,too!
166
00:06:57,270 --> 00:06:58,840
- Okay,this one.
- Wait.
167
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,820
Oh. No,no,no. Oh,no,no,no,no.
168
00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:02,570
Uh,I think I know what
you're looking for,
169
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:05,320
and we just got a shipment
that might be perfect for you.
170
00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:08,760
Okay,wow.
171
00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:11,390
Just because my uncle is clearly gay...
172
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,170
doesn't mean he'd ever
want your tacky pink tree.
173
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,590
And frankly,we'd rather throw
some lights on a coatrack
174
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:20,810
than have to deal with knuckle-draggers
like you today of all days.
175
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,020
December 16th.
176
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:25,710
Okay,first of all,amazing.
177
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,980
Second of all
- I was pointing to the truck.
178
00:07:28,020 --> 00:07:30,100
It's full of 8-
foot douglas-firs.
179
00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:31,590
It's behind the pink tree.
180
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:36,580
Second of all,uh,we're-we're gonna
go ahead and take,uh,this-this tree...
181
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:39,630
- That one.
- And we're going to tie it onto our car ourselves.
182
00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:41,580
You bet you will.
183
00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:44,030
- I have two daddies.
- He gets it,lily.
184
00:07:44,070 --> 00:07:45,740
Yeah.
185
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:50,290
Oh. Finger.
186
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:51,930
All right.
187
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:54,760
Cam and jay-you know,sort
of sounds like a bird.
188
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,110
"the migratory patterns
of the cam and jay... "
189
00:07:58,310 --> 00:07:59,720
do you have any more tape in that thing?
190
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,390
Do I have more tape in that?
191
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,020
I got a tank full of tape,mister.
192
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,090
What do you want?
Invisible? Satin finish?
193
00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,110
- Uh,double sided?
- Whatever. Whatever.
194
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:08,800
Okay.
195
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,130
That's interesting.
196
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:14,670
I doubt that it is,but what?
197
00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,470
Well,I mean the way you wrap a gift.
198
00:08:16,510 --> 00:08:19,390
That's a lot of tape. Nobody can get in.
199
00:08:19,420 --> 00:08:25,440
Kind of like... You know...
I mean,well,you let me in,
200
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,300
but in general,w
- Why so much tape,jay?
201
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,620
Why are you wearing a sweater
when it's 95 degrees out?
202
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:33,530
It's my christmas sweater.
203
00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:36,120
Based on those stains,you
are the christmas sweater.
204
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,010
Well,who's been a very good boy?
205
00:08:45,050 --> 00:08:47,820
So...
206
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,020
Okay. Are we gonna talk about
the elephant in the room,
207
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:56,180
which is ironic because it's so tiny?
208
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:59,100
A man doesn't give another
man a gift this small.
209
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:01,350
Oh,what do you think it is,a ring?
210
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,760
- Was there wine with this cork?
- Yes,there was,and we drank it on...
211
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,390
Oh,we drank it on,uh... eh?
212
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,830
Yeah. Um... On that boat.
213
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,500
- You have no idea.
- I can't even remember my own anniversary,cam.
214
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:23,360
How would I have remembered having
had wine with my son's boyfriend?
215
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,360
No,I do this. This is my fault.
216
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:28,220
I
- I attach too much meaning to things.
217
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:31,730
I mean,we watched our first football
game together five years ago,
218
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:34,810
and I feel the need to save the cork
from the bottle of wine you served.
219
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,410
I mean,who does that?
220
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:37,540
It's not your only gift,by the way.
221
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,760
There's a duplicate bottle
in that box right over there
222
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:44,370
which I had engraved with the date and
the final score,because I have a problem.
223
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,250
I feel too much. I gotta
get going to claire's.
224
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:48,970
- Cam...
- No. Fresh wound. Can't talk yet.
225
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,850
Fine. We'll put a cork in it.
226
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,750
Let it scab,jay.
227
00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:54,860
Let it scab.
228
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,390
Oh,there you are. I
thought I'd lost you.
229
00:10:04,430 --> 00:10:07,280
Oh,I'm sorry. I may have taken
a few minutes to try out a futon.
230
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,160
It's a young woman's game.
231
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,860
Okay. Where do we stand?
232
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,640
- I think we have everything.
- yes!
233
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,630
Oh... Except the ladybug
night-light for lily.
234
00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:18,380
- Haley,your whole life has led up...
- Oh,I got it,mom,I got it.
235
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,380
Okay,okay,I'll b
- I'll see you in line.
236
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:37,110
Yes,ronald?
237
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:40,000
I not only found it,I got the last one.
238
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,040
Yes,the ladybug,not the turtle.
239
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:46,300
I also got the doll,so I'm all
set. I'm gonna leave in five.
240
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,260
Or maybe I just want paper.
241
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,430
Paper. Paper. Just
paper all the way. Yeah.
242
00:10:57,470 --> 00:10:59,210
Haley!
243
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,850
Too late to change my mind?
244
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:07,450
Sir,would you like me to hold
your merchandise up at the register
245
00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:08,620
while you finish shopping?
246
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:10,630
Oh. Aren't you a dream?
247
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,950
Pack of gum.
248
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,590
And... One more pack of gum.
249
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,490
People drop in this
time of year,you know.
250
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,250
Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me.
251
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,090
Sorry. Excuse me.
252
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,940
Night-light you were looking for,ma'am.
253
00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:33,900
Ring her up,madison.
254
00:11:33,940 --> 00:11:36,030
Thank you.
255
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,470
There you go.
256
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,040
You're leaving me alone here?
257
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:45,510
No,no,no,no. I... It'll,uh,it'll
just take me two minutes.
258
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:48,020
I need to get jay's
supersecret special gift.
259
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:51,750
Great. First you lose me in the grocery
store,now I'm in a deserted parking lot.
260
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:54,500
Why don't you just put a sign
on me that says "free kid"?
261
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:55,840
I think that might be him.
262
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,660
You don't know the guy we're meeting?
263
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,080
That's how craigslist works.
264
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,590
Total strangers sell you things
like signed vintage baseball cards
265
00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:04,300
that make your father-in-law
respect you for an afternoon.
266
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,440
I don't like the looks of this guy.
267
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:07,850
He looks like everybody else.
268
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,640
Great. You can just tell that
to the police sketch artist.
269
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,330
Joe dimaggio?
270
00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:15,620
Phil dunphy,but I get that a lot.
271
00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:17,210
Kidding. I'm your guy.
272
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:17,930
Can I see the cash?
273
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:22,040
Yes. Can I... Can I see the card?
274
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:27,160
Mint condition.
275
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:28,740
That's why I want another $50.
276
00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:30,770
I only have the $200.
277
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:31,900
Uh,deal's off,then.
278
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:37,600
Come on. It's christmas... At
our house. It's a long story.
279
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,170
$225.
280
00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,860
I just spent all my cash on groceries.
281
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,760
- Fine. But I'm taking the butterball.
- I don't know about that.
282
00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:45,560
That's it. I'm getting
mother's little helper.
283
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,750
- What?
- My mom keeps a stun gun for emergencies.
284
00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:50,550
This isn't an emergen
- eeh!
285
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,190
Now it is.
286
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:03,770
I thought he was going to snatch me.
287
00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:07,360
A butterball is a turkey.
288
00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:08,170
What'd he say?
289
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:13,000
I think he said,"a butterball's a
turkey." I was reaching for the turkey.
290
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:15,820
Oh. Well,we can't give you our turkey.
291
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,470
Yes,we can.
292
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:21,900
And... Here's the... Money.
293
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:28,970
Joe dimaggio!
294
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:31,390
Joe dimaggio.
295
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:40,830
Mint condit-
Near-mint con-
296
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:50,690
Fair condit
- Garbage.
297
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,470
Huh. Never saw this before.
298
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:04,070
"an angel for my angels. Love,mom."
299
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:06,180
Oh,that's beautiful.
300
00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,770
And it smells like
mothballs,just like nana.
301
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,210
Luke...
302
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,550
- Thank-merry christmas.-
Just-just give it up.
303
00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:15,610
He hates us.
304
00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:17,170
Don't beat yourself up.
305
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,900
I do that,like,once a week.
306
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:22,210
The good news is,we never
have to come back here.
307
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,880
Watch out!
308
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:27,110
- The tree!
- I can't watch!
309
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,430
- Look!
- Ay,yes,I said "luke."
310
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:31,860
- you told me already. I did it right!
- No! Look!
311
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:35,880
Never look back. Never!
312
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,880
Maybe we can salvage it?
313
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,520
Are you okay,papi?
314
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:48,610
yeah.
315
00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:51,710
Good. That's because we
had our guardian angel.
316
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:54,080
Ay! A spider!
317
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:02,710
hey,mom?
318
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:04,630
Check it.
319
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,780
The gum!
320
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,650
Oh,and you made it pretty.
Honey,put it on the table.
321
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,070
- New tradition?
- Oh,yes. Yes.
322
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,240
Christmas gum.
323
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,160
I take one.
324
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:19,090
Tough to decorate the
tree with no tree,huh?
325
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:20,860
Yeah.
326
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,720
How long you gonna ignore me,cam?
327
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,620
Until the shame cloud clears.
328
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,510
You know,I push. I'm a pusher.
329
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:28,620
You gotta give yourself a break.
330
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:32,840
See,the thing about me,i'm not
as open with feelings as you.
331
00:15:32,910 --> 00:15:35,180
You've gotta lower your expectations.
332
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:36,680
Oh,I get it.
333
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,860
- Baby steps.
- No steps.
334
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,400
This is it.
335
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,700
See? Did it again.
336
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,970
Push! Push,push,push,push.
337
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,220
Now I've pushed you out of the room.
338
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,210
That's fine.
339
00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:47,910
How is she?
340
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:50,890
I got the tire marks off her wings,but
I can't get her head to stay on.
341
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:53,410
Okay,that's what this is for.
342
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:58,740
Now stick it in the top of the tree
with the good part facing out. Come on.
343
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,160
Well,that stuffing looks good.
344
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,910
All we need now is a
turkey to surround it.
345
00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:05,710
Well,relax. Phil just
texted,and he's "on his wax."
346
00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:08,470
Okay! Here comes the tree.
347
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,210
oh! Finally!
348
00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:12,660
- Here comes more of the tree.
- Hi,honey.
349
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,280
Oh. Oh,my gosh. What happened?
350
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,940
Well,uh,someone ran over it,
351
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:18,810
but that's okay 'cause we are
gonna put it back together.
352
00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:19,880
Right now.
353
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,330
He's gonna need a lot of gum.
354
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:23,690
Oh,thank god. Here comes
phil and the butterball.
355
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,150
I have a name.
356
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:28,000
I am sorry,but there is no turkey.
357
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:30,380
There's no turkey? What's the plan,phil?
358
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,050
Cornish game hens.
359
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:36,510
If you get real close,they look like
turkeys,and everyone gets their own.
360
00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:37,880
Sounds like fun.
361
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,590
Not fun. Not fun. I asked you
to pick up a cooked turkey.
362
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,740
The store was out of turkeys.
363
00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:44,160
It was an hour to express christmas.
364
00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:46,940
Please,just make it work,okay? Please.
365
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,190
They're not even defrosted.
366
00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:49,230
Fine,claire.
367
00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:50,750
You want 'em defrosted?
368
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,550
Merry... Freaking... Christmas!
369
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,750
Phil!
370
00:16:55,980 --> 00:16:57,150
Is that my stun gun?
371
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:59,750
Yep. And it works great.
372
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,820
Okay. Okay.
373
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:04,340
Um... We can make this
work. This can work.
374
00:17:04,380 --> 00:17:06,930
Dad,you and mitchell
reassemble that tree.
375
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,760
All right.
376
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,680
And I am going to defrost these
birds,and we'll cook them in shifts,
377
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,710
and we'll just push
dinner back by a bit.
378
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,190
Oh,how long? 'cause
I still have my party.
379
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,530
- What the hell happened to the angel?
- No!
380
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,030
The real question here is,how
come we still have the dog butler?
381
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:22,020
Oh,you found him,huh?
382
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:24,100
Well,this thing is
- It's filthy.
383
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,990
And... What happened?!
384
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,520
It got run over.
385
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:31,700
Probably by the same maniac
who ran over the tree.
386
00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:34,530
Oh,my god. Is that
- Yep. Yep,that's gum. That is gum.
387
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,590
Okay,I'm... I'm out. I'm done. I am out.
388
00:17:37,630 --> 00:17:41,740
No. No turkey,no tree,and now this
looks like the lady she used to be
389
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,170
before she died and became an angel.
390
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,410
All right. Relax,mitchell.
It's an ornament.
391
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,590
No,he's right. We're never
gonna get this together.
392
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,450
- I'm going to my party.
- No,no. No,you're not.
393
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,510
You are not. You're staying right here,
394
00:17:51,550 --> 00:17:54,670
because you're not going to
abandon your family...On christmas.
395
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:55,750
It's not christmas.
396
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:58,740
Exactly. Exactly. It's
not christmas,claire.
397
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,160
Okay,fine!
398
00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:03,830
Fine! You know what? I am really tired
of trying to make this work on my own.
399
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,410
I will see you people in a year.
400
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:07,530
And nine days.
401
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:10,260
No! Nobody goes anywhere.
402
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,450
I know what the problem is here.
403
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,560
You two miss your mommy.
404
00:18:16,630 --> 00:18:18,630
- no.
- I do not miss my mommy.
405
00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:20,660
Admit it. It's sad.
406
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,430
She used to make you
cookies,the angel...
407
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:28,500
Now she talks to you in a newsletter
and she cancels for no reason.
408
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:30,680
Come here,my little ones.
409
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,900
No. We're... Good. No,it's fine.
We're good. It's not a big deal.
410
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:35,390
It's christmas. You need a mommy.
411
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:37,680
- You're not mommy.
- But you're not our mommy.
412
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,140
And it's not christmas. Come here.
413
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,390
It's okay to miss her.
414
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,550
Can I put in my 2
cents on fake christmas?
415
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:47,700
Express christmas.
416
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:49,740
Let it go,phil. It's not sticking.
417
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,720
It needs time.
418
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,450
We all gave it our best
shot to make this thing work.
419
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,320
It just didn't happen,all right?
420
00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,420
What do you say we cut our losses?
421
00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:03,490
Let's go out to a nice chinese restaurant
and have a traditional jewish christmas.
422
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,250
But I risked my life grocery shopping.
423
00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,040
Save that story for wang fu.
424
00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:08,660
Now let's go. Come on,everybody.
425
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,360
Oh,wang fu's? Dad,no. On
me! Out! Everybody out!
426
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,750
Wang fu's. It's on me.
427
00:19:13,790 --> 00:19:15,860
Let's go. Come on,baby girl.
428
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,050
Come on,honey.
429
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,130
- What's going on?
- Awesome!
430
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:32,520
You hate chinese food.
431
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,280
Not bad,huh?
432
00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:42,200
Jay,jay,jay.
433
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,460
You wanna hug me,don't
you? I kind of do.
434
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,220
4 to 5 seconds.
435
00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:47,610
- 45 seconds?
- 4 to 5 seconds.
436
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:49,430
Oh,okay.
437
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,580
Family is family.
438
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,500
Whether it's the one
you start out with...
439
00:19:57,540 --> 00:20:00,380
- Hi,mom! Hi,mom!
- Merry christmas!
440
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:03,830
- So,um,tell us everything about the new boyfriend.
- Oh,yeah.
441
00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:06,310
- Don't leave anything out.
- You can leave some things out.
442
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,540
The one that you end up with...
443
00:20:10,690 --> 00:20:14,320
Or the family that you
gain along the way...
444
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:27,160
Which makes every day december 16th.
445
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,660
Hey,jay,um,I'm sorry
about the baseball card.
446
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,830
I- I did get you
a- a backup gift.
447
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,190
It's-it's nothing. I picked
it up when we stopped for gas.
448
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,970
Dog antlers.
449
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,260
I know. You got us snow,and
I got you dog antlers.
450
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:48,600
- I love these.
- I thought you might.
451
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:50,540
Honey,look. Come here.
452
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,510
How cute is that?
453
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:55,670
Where's my camera?
454
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,460
Gloria, you gotta see this!
455
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,550
Casta, Gloria!
456
00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:02,650
- Dog antlers...
- He loves dog antlers.
457
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:04,520
Oh, no! Okay!
458
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:12,920
I am so sorry.
459
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:14,680
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
-=http://ytet.org=-
Proudly Presents
460
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:15,980
-=http://bbs.sfile2012.com=-
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461
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,420
Modern Family
Season 3 Episode 10
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net