1 00:00:00,154 --> 00:00:01,517 So how's the family? visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com 2 00:00:01,518 --> 00:00:05,306 Great. Kids are getting so big. Haley's about to go off... 3 00:00:05,307 --> 00:00:06,593 You can stop holding your stomach in. 4 00:00:06,594 --> 00:00:09,584 - to college. - You still exercising? 5 00:00:09,715 --> 00:00:10,783 Clearly. 6 00:00:11,193 --> 00:00:13,642 I look at Clint Eastwood or Chuck Norris and I think, 7 00:00:13,643 --> 00:00:15,235 there's no reason I can't stay tough like.. 8 00:00:15,236 --> 00:00:16,720 Oh, tickles! 9 00:00:18,677 --> 00:00:19,668 But... Aw! 10 00:00:20,536 --> 00:00:21,556 That hurt? 11 00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:24,163 No. Not r--ow. 12 00:00:26,011 --> 00:00:26,406 What? 13 00:00:26,407 --> 00:00:28,882 It's probably nothing. You feeling okay? 14 00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:31,543 - Yeah. - Maybe we'll just run a couple of tests, just to be safe. 15 00:00:31,544 --> 00:00:32,335 What kind of tests? 16 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,709 If there's anything wrong, I'll give you a call. 17 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:36,769 Okay. 18 00:00:36,998 --> 00:00:38,851 So how's the real estate market doing? 19 00:00:39,399 --> 00:00:42,382 Well, interest rates are low, so it's a great time to be a buyer, 20 00:00:42,383 --> 00:00:44,290 But if you're a seller, you really have to... 21 00:00:44,291 --> 00:00:45,141 Bend over? 22 00:00:45,142 --> 00:00:46,878 True, but a quality property is still a quality-- 23 00:00:46,879 --> 00:00:49,243 No, no, no. I need you to bend over. 24 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,354 Oh. Right. 25 00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,277 Well, let's dim the lights, crank up the Norah Jones, 26 00:00:54,278 --> 00:00:56,035 and get this over with. 27 00:00:58,087 --> 00:00:59,786 Oh, hey. How'd it go? 28 00:00:59,787 --> 00:01:02,037 Amazing. I was so proud of him. 29 00:01:02,038 --> 00:01:03,261 Oh, thanks, honey. 30 00:01:03,262 --> 00:01:05,592 I'm kind of proud of me, too. 31 00:01:05,593 --> 00:01:07,150 Look at what they gave me. 32 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,361 "California State Bar Association Award, 33 00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:12,643 "For Distinguished Service in The Field of Environmental Law." 34 00:01:12,644 --> 00:01:14,113 You should have seen it. They called his name, 35 00:01:14,114 --> 00:01:16,300 he went up on stage, he gave a great speech. 36 00:01:16,366 --> 00:01:18,093 It was humble, inspirational, 37 00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:19,429 with a touch of dry humor at the end. 38 00:01:19,499 --> 00:01:20,317 It was very Colin Firth. 39 00:01:20,318 --> 00:01:22,181 Oh, Cam, thank you, 40 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:25,010 But... it's hardly an Oscar. 41 00:01:25,158 --> 00:01:26,893 In the environmental law community, 42 00:01:26,894 --> 00:01:28,523 it kinda is an Oscar. 43 00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:30,404 So how was Lily? I hope you weren't too bored. 44 00:01:30,405 --> 00:01:31,909 Oh, please, are you kidding me? 45 00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:34,235 I love talking to her. She knows more words than Haley. 46 00:01:34,236 --> 00:01:36,712 Oh, that looks great up there! 47 00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:39,295 How impressed are you with your uncle right now? 48 00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:41,326 So impressed. 49 00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:42,611 I didn't wanna ruin their moment 50 00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:44,520 by telling them how many awards I've gotten, 51 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,460 but let's just say 52 00:01:45,461 --> 00:01:48,097 I don't get out of bed for a trophy that size. 53 00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:51,619 Darn it! 54 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:52,776 I'm trying to send an e-mail. 55 00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:54,678 This mouse keeps sticking. 56 00:01:55,978 --> 00:01:58,039 Pretty big reaction. It's 10 bucks, tops. 57 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,745 You just reminded me about my dream last night. 58 00:02:02,341 --> 00:02:05,616 I was in the middle of a meadow, coming down a staircase, 59 00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:09,020 then suddenly a black mouse showed up. 60 00:02:09,136 --> 00:02:12,288 He stopped, stared at me in the eyes, 61 00:02:12,289 --> 00:02:14,332 and opened his little mouth. 62 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:17,245 What did it say? 63 00:02:17,856 --> 00:02:18,980 What did he say, Jay? 64 00:02:18,981 --> 00:02:20,901 He was a mouse. They don't know how to talk. 65 00:02:20,902 --> 00:02:22,307 Now you're playing logic police? 66 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,517 You're standing on a staircase in a meadow? 67 00:02:24,881 --> 00:02:28,537 In my country, when somebody dreams about a black mouse, 68 00:02:28,538 --> 00:02:30,664 it means that something bad is going to happen! 69 00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:31,551 Ah, don't worry about it. 70 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,284 I dreamt about a lucky blue cow. 71 00:02:33,559 --> 00:02:34,736 - We're good to go. - Hey, Jay, 72 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,544 this is what I'm wearing for golfing tomorrow. 73 00:02:36,545 --> 00:02:38,720 Wanted to give you a heads up in case there's some overlap. 74 00:02:38,721 --> 00:02:39,791 What are you going for here? 75 00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,060 Matt Damon in "Bagger Vance." You didn't get that? 76 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,712 I did. I think you look just like him. 77 00:02:44,713 --> 00:02:46,883 It's the whole reason I asked you to teach me to golf. 78 00:02:46,884 --> 00:02:49,148 Any sport where you can wear this, I'm in. 79 00:02:51,281 --> 00:02:52,992 Who is that? It's 10:00 at night. 80 00:02:52,993 --> 00:02:55,278 - I'll get it. - Hold on, Gatsby. 81 00:02:55,906 --> 00:02:58,072 Hola! It's Javier! Open up! 82 00:02:58,073 --> 00:02:59,158 Dad! 83 00:03:01,385 --> 00:03:03,204 There's my campeón! 84 00:03:03,529 --> 00:03:04,727 There's your black mouse. 85 00:03:04,728 --> 00:03:06,660 Hola, Javier, what are you doing in town? 86 00:03:06,661 --> 00:03:09,866 Well, I missed Manny's birthday, plus I have a free week. 87 00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,075 You're staying a week? 88 00:03:11,076 --> 00:03:12,035 Make that go away. 89 00:03:12,036 --> 00:03:13,099 So, Manny, tomorrow, 90 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,515 in honor of you becoming a man, 91 00:03:14,516 --> 00:03:16,693 I am taking you to the racetrack 92 00:03:16,694 --> 00:03:18,313 to enjoy the sport of kings, hmm? 93 00:03:18,314 --> 00:03:19,443 That's so cool! 94 00:03:19,444 --> 00:03:21,913 Actually, Manny and I have plans to play golf tomorrow. 95 00:03:21,914 --> 00:03:23,536 Golfing? Pfft! That is for old men 96 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,072 and for women who like women. 97 00:03:25,073 --> 00:03:27,521 Come on. Your dad is in town. Let's go to the races. 98 00:03:27,522 --> 00:03:28,727 Yeah, can we all go? 99 00:03:28,728 --> 00:03:29,672 Ay, no, baby, I can't. 100 00:03:29,673 --> 00:03:32,472 I promised Haley that I was gonna help her with her Spanish. 101 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,774 - But Jay's going to go with you. - What? 102 00:03:35,092 --> 00:03:39,011 I'm not gonna let Manny take off with Javier by himself. 103 00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:40,136 Once, when Manny was 6, 104 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,324 Javier took him to the petting zoo, 105 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:43,892 which later, I found out 106 00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:46,948 that was the name of the stripper club. 107 00:03:46,949 --> 00:03:49,712 A real petting zoo would have been cleaner. 108 00:03:50,117 --> 00:03:52,384 - But I was looking forward to playing-- - You're going. 109 00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:54,240 That I don't miss. 110 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,763 Modern Family 3x11 111 00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:00,450 sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com 112 00:04:12,233 --> 00:04:13,684 Would you look at that? 113 00:04:13,751 --> 00:04:14,799 Oh, yeah, you know, 114 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,584 I never saw us as trophy on the mantle people, 115 00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:18,026 but yours looked so gosh darned good up there, 116 00:04:18,027 --> 00:04:20,900 I figured, why not be proud of what we've done? 117 00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:25,647 Uh, "First Place, Bass Catchers Spring Fish-Off, 118 00:04:25,648 --> 00:04:27,680 Missouri North Division." 119 00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:29,520 2-day total of 10 smallmouth bass 120 00:04:29,521 --> 00:04:31,203 weighing 34.24 pounds 121 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:33,196 with a 4 1/2-pound kicker. 122 00:04:33,197 --> 00:04:36,380 So you beat all the other boys aged 12 through 17? 123 00:04:36,381 --> 00:04:37,400 Sure did. 124 00:04:38,323 --> 00:04:40,238 Look at our trophies up there. 125 00:04:40,468 --> 00:04:42,289 We're a couple of winners, aren't we? 126 00:04:43,077 --> 00:04:44,240 Are we? 127 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:45,600 Claire? 128 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:47,196 Where are all my razor blades? 129 00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:48,507 - They're not in that box? - No. 130 00:04:48,508 --> 00:04:49,647 Well, I guess they're gone. 131 00:04:49,648 --> 00:04:50,908 They can't be gone. 132 00:04:50,909 --> 00:04:53,019 In my 20s, I went on a game show 133 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:55,865 and won a lifetime supply of razor blades. 134 00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:59,108 Okay, Phil, time is up. What is your answer? 135 00:04:59,109 --> 00:05:03,568 3.14159. 136 00:05:03,692 --> 00:05:05,400 Oh! I'm sorry, Phil. 137 00:05:05,401 --> 00:05:08,804 The correct answer is banana cream. 138 00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:09,524 Banana cream. 139 00:05:09,525 --> 00:05:11,868 Banana cream. Well, you got me there, Chip. 140 00:05:11,869 --> 00:05:13,644 But you're not leaving empty-handed, no. 141 00:05:13,645 --> 00:05:16,057 You're going home with a lifetime supply 142 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:18,604 of Genesis twin-blade razors. 143 00:05:18,605 --> 00:05:21,247 What?! Two blades in one razor? 144 00:05:21,248 --> 00:05:23,965 Man, it'll never get better than that! 145 00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:26,635 You must have used them all up. 146 00:05:26,636 --> 00:05:28,361 They said "a lifetime supply." 147 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:31,159 Honey, you got 15 years of free razor blades. 148 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,317 Put that in the "Win" column and move on. 149 00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:36,426 Mom, is it okay if my friend Walt comes over 150 00:05:36,427 --> 00:05:37,623 to play "Rebel Fighters 3"? 151 00:05:37,624 --> 00:05:39,558 Honey, don't you think it is a little weird 152 00:05:39,559 --> 00:05:41,492 that one of your best friends is an eighty-year-old man? 153 00:05:41,493 --> 00:05:44,544 No, it makes it more fun, because he was in a real war. 154 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:45,759 He says cool things like 155 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,188 "See you in hell, Klaus." 156 00:05:48,944 --> 00:05:50,749 I don't even know what that means. 157 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,076 Oh, hey, dad, some doctor called for you. 158 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,820 Dr. Sendroff? 159 00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:57,459 Yeah, that's it. You were in the shower. 160 00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:58,608 What did he say? 161 00:05:58,628 --> 00:06:00,530 He wants you to call him right away. 162 00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:03,552 Oh, well. See you in hell, Klaus. 163 00:06:04,548 --> 00:06:05,192 What's wrong? 164 00:06:05,193 --> 00:06:06,245 I don't know. 165 00:06:06,392 --> 00:06:07,569 He ran a few tests on me yesterday. 166 00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:08,801 He said he'll call if something was wrong. 167 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,046 And now he's calling. 168 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,463 Hi, this is Phil Dunphy. 169 00:06:11,464 --> 00:06:13,746 I'm returning Dr. Sendroff's call. 170 00:06:14,903 --> 00:06:15,857 Are you serious? 171 00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:17,358 - What? - He's on a flight to London. 172 00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:18,941 Um, is there any way I can reach him, 173 00:06:18,942 --> 00:06:22,058 or--uh, uh, someone else I can talk to? 174 00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:24,281 Okay. Fine. 175 00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:26,260 Please just tell him it's urgent. 176 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,283 Thank you. 177 00:06:28,343 --> 00:06:29,400 Oh, boy. 178 00:06:29,401 --> 00:06:31,084 Honey, I am sure it's nothing. 179 00:06:31,085 --> 00:06:32,911 Claire, I'm tender under my arm. 180 00:06:32,912 --> 00:06:34,692 Maybe Luke hit you with his broomstick 181 00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:35,768 when you guys were playing Quidditch. 182 00:06:35,769 --> 00:06:37,961 I'm way too fast, he never touched me. 183 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,877 I can assure you you are perfectly fine. 184 00:06:39,878 --> 00:06:41,140 That's very comforting, 185 00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:43,648 coming from a marketing major at a party school. 186 00:06:50,857 --> 00:06:51,903 I like the number 4 horse. 187 00:06:51,904 --> 00:06:52,641 He loves this track, 188 00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:54,433 his dad won the Preakness, 189 00:06:54,434 --> 00:06:56,540 last three finishes were in the money. 190 00:06:56,545 --> 00:06:57,847 I like Miranda's Miracle. 191 00:06:57,848 --> 00:06:58,574 Why? 192 00:06:58,575 --> 00:07:00,415 There's this girl Miranda in my class, 193 00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:01,532 and she is really pretty. 194 00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:03,609 If she likes me back, it will be a miracle. 195 00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,243 Would you bet $2 on that one for me, Jay? 196 00:07:06,244 --> 00:07:07,721 Sure, but you are throwing your money away. 197 00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:09,046 You both are. 198 00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,606 The winner of the race will be number 7-- 199 00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:13,239 my hometown. 200 00:07:13,245 --> 00:07:14,345 Number 7... 201 00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:16,813 Well, he's carrying 3 extra pounds, 202 00:07:16,814 --> 00:07:18,058 and he hates the distance. 203 00:07:18,059 --> 00:07:19,945 Those are just words on a page. 204 00:07:19,946 --> 00:07:21,493 I look the horse in the eye, 205 00:07:21,494 --> 00:07:23,972 and he tells me... he is the winner. 206 00:07:23,973 --> 00:07:25,041 Tells ya? 207 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,540 - Perhaps this will sound crazy. - No need for the qualifier. 208 00:07:27,541 --> 00:07:31,619 But I have always been able to see into the soul of a horse. 209 00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,945 It is a gift, and I do not question it. 210 00:07:33,946 --> 00:07:37,516 Just like I always end up on the shortest line at the bank. 211 00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:38,571 Maybe I should bet on your horse. 212 00:07:38,572 --> 00:07:41,309 Are you kidding me? These aren't just words. 213 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:43,225 They give you all this information, 214 00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:45,182 so you can make an informed decision 215 00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,573 - and beat the odds. - Yes, of course, 216 00:07:46,574 --> 00:07:49,594 and this is why everybody with a racing form is rich. 217 00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:52,216 Now come on. It's time to place our bets. 218 00:07:52,299 --> 00:07:53,784 What's it gonna be, Manny? 219 00:07:56,909 --> 00:07:58,472 $2 on my hometown. 220 00:07:58,473 --> 00:07:59,748 You really think he's going to win? 221 00:07:59,749 --> 00:08:02,376 Well, I only know what he tells me with his eyes. 222 00:08:02,377 --> 00:08:06,258 Don't ask me why, but maybe in some previous life, I was a horse. 223 00:08:06,325 --> 00:08:07,762 Or part of a horse. 224 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:14,615 Oh, hey, Alex called. 225 00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:15,652 She left her cell phone here. 226 00:08:15,653 --> 00:08:16,759 She's gonna come back and get it. 227 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,831 Cam, did you do something to your fish trophy? 228 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,027 Oh, yeah, I forgot about this fun middle part. 229 00:08:21,028 --> 00:08:23,231 You see, now it looks like a fish jumping out of the water. 230 00:08:23,232 --> 00:08:25,101 Yeah, right over mine. 231 00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:27,646 Do I sense something, Mitch? 232 00:08:27,647 --> 00:08:30,054 You know, just because mine's a little taller than yours, 233 00:08:30,055 --> 00:08:31,793 doesn't make yours any less important. 234 00:08:31,794 --> 00:08:33,789 Oh, no. That's not what I was feeling, 235 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:35,598 not even a little bit. 236 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:38,832 Oh, my god. You don't like that I put my trophy up. 237 00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:39,938 I just think it's a little weird 238 00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:41,832 that immediately after I win a trophy, 239 00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:43,629 You feel the need to dig this thing up 240 00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:45,632 and plop it down next to mine. 241 00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:46,701 I'll have you know 242 00:08:46,702 --> 00:08:48,992 that I want to display this for quite some time. 243 00:08:48,993 --> 00:08:50,858 But I put it in box in the garage 244 00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:52,002 with all my other awards-- 245 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:54,190 Yes, award-z-- 246 00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:57,339 Out of courtesy to a sadly award-less you. 247 00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,097 It looks ridiculous. 248 00:08:59,426 --> 00:09:02,208 Mine is a distinguished professional award 249 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,871 given to me by my peers, 250 00:09:03,872 --> 00:09:06,700 and yours was given to you on a pier. 251 00:09:06,701 --> 00:09:07,648 Okay, well, for your information, 252 00:09:07,649 --> 00:09:10,254 when I won this, it was a very big deal. 253 00:09:10,272 --> 00:09:13,535 I cut a ribbon at the grocery store and signed autographs. 254 00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,724 "Best fishes, Cameron Tucker" 255 00:09:17,552 --> 00:09:19,097 Oh, you know what? I just remembered! 256 00:09:19,098 --> 00:09:22,271 Mine comes with a really fun pedestal, too! 257 00:09:22,272 --> 00:09:24,352 Oh! Look at that! 258 00:09:24,353 --> 00:09:27,564 - Oh, and proper hierarchy is restored. - Mm-hmm. 259 00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:28,359 Unless you suddenly remember 260 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,757 that your fish came with a top hat. 261 00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:32,775 Okay. Well, you know what? 262 00:09:32,776 --> 00:09:34,836 I'm gonna go get Lily from her party and go to the park. 263 00:09:34,837 --> 00:09:35,873 OK. 264 00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:38,371 This award has changed you, Mitchell. 265 00:09:38,372 --> 00:09:39,726 You may be flying high now, 266 00:09:39,727 --> 00:09:42,435 but pretty soon, you're gonna be free falling, Tom Petty... 267 00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:44,696 Because you're petty. 268 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,713 Tom Petty. 269 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,608 Hmm? Get it? 270 00:09:47,609 --> 00:09:49,885 About three sentences ago. 271 00:09:51,489 --> 00:09:52,568 Hola, Haley. 272 00:09:52,569 --> 00:09:54,128 Hi, Gloria. Thanks for coming over. 273 00:09:54,129 --> 00:09:56,035 En español, por favor. 274 00:09:56,036 --> 00:09:58,737 Uh, hola, Gloria. 275 00:09:59,156 --> 00:10:01,161 Gracias for coming over. 276 00:10:01,162 --> 00:10:02,388 No, the whole thing. 277 00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:03,860 I don't know the whole thing. 278 00:10:03,861 --> 00:10:05,620 Why do I even need to learn Spanish? 279 00:10:05,621 --> 00:10:08,472 I live in california. I'm never gonna use it. 280 00:10:08,637 --> 00:10:10,746 That's the problem with Americans. 281 00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:12,905 They expect all of us to know their language, 282 00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:15,267 but they don't even make the effort to learn ours. 283 00:10:15,268 --> 00:10:17,105 Win a war sometime. 284 00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:18,898 Then we'll start talking like you. 285 00:10:19,325 --> 00:10:20,697 Ha. So wrong. 286 00:10:21,405 --> 00:10:22,501 Oh, hey, Gloria. 287 00:10:22,502 --> 00:10:23,820 Hi, Phil. How are you? 288 00:10:23,821 --> 00:10:24,498 I wish I knew. 289 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,685 Why? What's wrong? 290 00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:27,423 Uh, I don't wanna bum you out. 291 00:10:27,424 --> 00:10:28,501 My doctor did some tests 292 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,546 and said he'd call if something was wrong, 293 00:10:31,072 --> 00:10:32,144 and he called this morning. 294 00:10:32,145 --> 00:10:32,912 And what did he say? 295 00:10:32,913 --> 00:10:33,866 I don't know. I missed the call. 296 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,277 Now I can't reach him. 297 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,335 The black mouse. 298 00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:38,670 - What? - In my dream. 299 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:40,504 It was a bad omen. 300 00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,340 But probably not for you. 301 00:10:43,513 --> 00:10:45,444 The staircase. 302 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,172 No, no, no. You're fine. You're fine. 303 00:10:47,173 --> 00:10:49,216 Am I? Get this -- 304 00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:52,055 15 years ago, I won a lifetime supply of razor blades. 305 00:10:52,056 --> 00:10:53,349 They ran out... 306 00:10:53,641 --> 00:10:54,757 today. 307 00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,900 What's with the spitting? Are you warding off death? 308 00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:00,344 No. When I did 309 00:11:00,345 --> 00:11:02,740 I think I suck in a little bug. 310 00:11:04,233 --> 00:11:07,461 $16 for the first race, $10 from the second race, 311 00:11:07,462 --> 00:11:09,583 plus $34--$60? 312 00:11:09,584 --> 00:11:10,467 You're a genius, dad. 313 00:11:10,468 --> 00:11:12,272 Well, I cannot take all the credit. 314 00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:14,781 It is a particularly chatty group of horses today. 315 00:11:14,782 --> 00:11:16,756 I love gambling! It's so easy! 316 00:11:16,757 --> 00:11:17,480 It's not easy. 317 00:11:17,481 --> 00:11:19,808 Well, not for you. You've lost, what, three in a row? 318 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,740 Oh, burn, Jay! 319 00:11:22,411 --> 00:11:24,023 I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. 320 00:11:24,024 --> 00:11:25,444 This is all so heady. 321 00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:27,463 $50 on little bacon to win. 322 00:11:27,464 --> 00:11:28,353 Ooh-ee. 323 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,327 - Yeah, ooh-ee. - What? What ooh-ee? 324 00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:32,296 There is something not right about that horse. 325 00:11:32,297 --> 00:11:34,033 - I think I saw it, too. - You didn't see anything. 326 00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:35,295 This horse is a heavy favorite. 327 00:11:35,296 --> 00:11:36,972 The rest of the pack couldn't beat a merry-go-round. 328 00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:38,347 I'm sticking with Little Bacon. 329 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:39,688 It's your funeral. 330 00:11:39,689 --> 00:11:40,999 Who are we going with, dad? 331 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,945 Nobody in this race, papito. 332 00:11:42,946 --> 00:11:45,624 It was quiet down there in the paddock just now-- 333 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:46,239 too quiet. 334 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,308 Oh, gee. You know what? Make it $300. 335 00:11:48,661 --> 00:11:49,243 Oh, my. 336 00:11:49,244 --> 00:11:51,561 I'm telling you, kid, this is the one. 337 00:11:51,821 --> 00:11:53,305 And you know how I know? 338 00:11:53,324 --> 00:11:56,074 'Cause it said, "pfft." 339 00:11:56,814 --> 00:11:58,154 They don't talk like that. 340 00:11:59,933 --> 00:12:04,842 "Maria bought a beautiful white dress for her wedding." 341 00:12:05,869 --> 00:12:09,432 Um, Maria compró 342 00:12:09,757 --> 00:12:13,929 un hermoso vestido blanco 343 00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:16,041 para su-- I-I'm sorry. 344 00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,912 I cannot concentrate with him here. 345 00:12:17,913 --> 00:12:19,526 What are you doing? 346 00:12:20,475 --> 00:12:22,215 Just taking it all in. 347 00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:29,494 You're a beautiful, intelligent woman... 348 00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:31,366 And don't you ever forget it. 349 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,794 Wow, he is so weird sometimes. 350 00:12:36,795 --> 00:12:39,491 No, he's not weird! He's a saint! 351 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,712 And you will miss him when he's gone... 352 00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:43,088 One day. 353 00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:46,176 Hey, Uncle Mitchell. 354 00:12:46,177 --> 00:12:48,012 Your, uh, phone's on the table. 355 00:12:51,029 --> 00:12:51,603 What's that? 356 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,564 Oh, Cam's old fishing trophy. 357 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,883 Yeah, when I woke up this morning, 358 00:12:54,884 --> 00:12:56,296 that's where I found it. 359 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,580 Right after you got yours? 360 00:12:57,581 --> 00:12:58,308 Thank you! 361 00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:00,285 Oh, my god. Welcome to my world. 362 00:13:00,286 --> 00:13:02,545 Last week, I got this beautiful plaque 363 00:13:02,546 --> 00:13:03,755 from the debate team for outstanding achievement, 364 00:13:03,756 --> 00:13:04,815 and what did my mom do? 365 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,693 She found one of Luke's "participant" ribbons 366 00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:09,088 and a certificate Haley got for showing up somewhere on time, 367 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:11,187 and put all three of them together on the same shelf! 368 00:13:11,188 --> 00:13:13,108 It's, like, so unfair! 369 00:13:13,109 --> 00:13:14,685 I was so glad I talked to Alex, 370 00:13:14,686 --> 00:13:17,295 because she agreed with every single thing I was feeling-- 371 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,660 which made me realize 372 00:13:18,661 --> 00:13:22,945 that I was acting like a 14-year-old girl. 373 00:13:28,077 --> 00:13:29,900 Ah, come on, kid. 374 00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:32,008 I just lost an arm 'cause of you. 375 00:13:32,009 --> 00:13:33,189 Now get your head in the game. 376 00:13:33,190 --> 00:13:36,418 Sorry. I can't concentrate with my dad staring at me. 377 00:13:37,046 --> 00:13:38,605 I just love you so much. 378 00:13:38,606 --> 00:13:40,362 I hope he's talking to you. 379 00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:45,300 Ugh. Oh, great, now I'm dead. 380 00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:46,801 I'm going to the bathroom. 381 00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:48,801 You know, they say that happens. 382 00:13:52,846 --> 00:13:53,978 Hey, Walt. 383 00:13:56,924 --> 00:13:58,489 You ever think about death? 384 00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:01,930 I'm 85. Death is my roommate. 385 00:14:01,982 --> 00:14:03,752 I got a call from the doctor. 386 00:14:04,012 --> 00:14:06,108 There's a 60% chance I'm gonna die. 387 00:14:06,109 --> 00:14:07,576 Ha! Doctors-- 388 00:14:07,577 --> 00:14:08,829 said I'd be dead ten years ago. 389 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:09,379 Look at me. 390 00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:10,979 I'm healthy as a-- 391 00:14:13,194 --> 00:14:14,794 I gotta go change my tank. 392 00:14:17,817 --> 00:14:19,847 Phil, you've gotta let this go. 393 00:14:19,848 --> 00:14:20,716 I'm sorry, Claire. 394 00:14:20,717 --> 00:14:21,760 I don't know how to react 395 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,804 when I find out there's a 70% chance I'm gonna die. 396 00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,431 Honey, listen to me. 397 00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,061 You're gonna be fine. 398 00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:32,032 - You really think so? - I know so. 399 00:14:33,124 --> 00:14:34,337 Claire's my rock. 400 00:14:34,645 --> 00:14:36,385 You know when you're on a plane and there's turbulence, 401 00:14:36,386 --> 00:14:37,355 you look at the flight attendants, 402 00:14:37,356 --> 00:14:38,884 and if they're still smiling and serving drinks, 403 00:14:38,885 --> 00:14:40,184 you know everything's gonna be okay? 404 00:14:40,185 --> 00:14:41,316 That's Claire. 405 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:44,414 I could also picture her as a cop. 406 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,828 And into the final furlong it's Little Bacon 407 00:14:46,829 --> 00:14:48,347 followed by Bradswaxjacket. 408 00:14:48,348 --> 00:14:50,169 Go Little Bacon. Go Little Bacon. 409 00:14:50,299 --> 00:14:51,779 You got this! You got this! 410 00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:53,708 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 411 00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:56,300 And the winner is number 9 Little Bacon by 3 lengths. 412 00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:58,290 Yes! I knew it! 413 00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:01,049 You see that, Manny? Dumb luck always runs out. 414 00:15:01,050 --> 00:15:02,212 But if you live in the real world, 415 00:15:02,213 --> 00:15:03,579 and you use your head, 416 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,969 not have it in the clouds like Dr. Dolittle there, 417 00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:07,198 you'll do okay. 418 00:15:07,314 --> 00:15:08,996 Guess we should have listened to Jay on this one, dad. 419 00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:10,516 You got that right. You should have listened to Jay. 420 00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:11,839 And I'll tell you something else. 421 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,419 You can't look in a horse's eyes 422 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,702 and tell there's something wrong. 423 00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:16,542 You can't even look in their eyes at the same time -- 424 00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:18,203 One's here and one's here! 425 00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:20,175 Come on. Let's go to the window, kid. 426 00:15:20,176 --> 00:15:22,160 I may need some help carrying my winnings. 427 00:15:22,161 --> 00:15:23,340 Oh. Wait. 428 00:15:24,096 --> 00:15:25,263 Jay, look. 429 00:15:27,276 --> 00:15:28,183 Inquiry. 430 00:15:28,184 --> 00:15:29,412 What's that? 431 00:15:29,672 --> 00:15:31,853 It is when a horse has committed an infraction. 432 00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:33,601 Possible infraction. Usually it's nothing. 433 00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:34,641 I'm sure... 434 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,083 The number 9 horse Little Bacon 435 00:15:36,084 --> 00:15:37,656 has been disqualified for interference. 436 00:15:37,657 --> 00:15:38,257 What?! 437 00:15:38,258 --> 00:15:41,445 The winner is number 6, Bradswaxjacket. 438 00:15:41,513 --> 00:15:42,549 You see? 439 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,066 The eyes... 440 00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:46,316 They do not lie. 441 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,654 Tough break, Jay. 442 00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:51,734 Here... 443 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,550 Little something for gas. 444 00:16:01,153 --> 00:16:03,628 Cam was right. I-I was being petty. 445 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,064 So I found his box of old trophies 446 00:16:07,065 --> 00:16:08,516 and I decided to surprise him 447 00:16:08,517 --> 00:16:10,903 by having them on the mantle when he got home. 448 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,156 Well, I was the one who was surprised. 449 00:16:13,157 --> 00:16:15,872 I had no idea how many trophies he had-- 450 00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:18,128 First place, and all of them for different things. 451 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:21,664 Music, football, art show, science fair, 452 00:16:21,665 --> 00:16:22,975 a chili cook-off. 453 00:16:22,976 --> 00:16:24,851 A lifetime of accolades hidden away 454 00:16:24,852 --> 00:16:26,800 just so I wouldn't feel bad. 455 00:16:28,417 --> 00:16:30,940 Aah! That's a mouse! That's a mou--oh! Ew! 456 00:16:31,889 --> 00:16:34,381 Oh! Disgusting! 457 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,309 Oh, no! No, cam, I-I was gonna make a big display! 458 00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:39,616 I believe you have. 459 00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:42,721 No, no, Cam! There was a-- 460 00:16:43,140 --> 00:16:44,304 Oh! Gross! 461 00:16:49,789 --> 00:16:51,513 Listen, Manny, do me a favor 462 00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:54,071 and get me a cappuccino from right over there, okay? 463 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:56,390 No, it's okay. I got it. 464 00:16:58,826 --> 00:16:59,927 So... 465 00:17:00,569 --> 00:17:02,710 You wanna talk about what happened back there? 466 00:17:02,906 --> 00:17:04,125 - Not at all. - You know... 467 00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:07,376 it is not just the horses whose souls I can read through their eyes. 468 00:17:07,392 --> 00:17:09,132 You really wanna know? I'll tell you. 469 00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,365 Okay. I'll leave you alone. 470 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:13,335 All right, listen, hang on. 471 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,388 I'm sorry I went after you like that in front of Manny. 472 00:17:15,389 --> 00:17:16,537 That was wrong. 473 00:17:17,081 --> 00:17:20,533 No, I get it. Nobody likes to lose at the races. 474 00:17:20,912 --> 00:17:23,325 I don't owe this guy anything. 475 00:17:23,328 --> 00:17:26,156 He stops by a couple of times a year to see his kid. 476 00:17:26,841 --> 00:17:29,189 It used to be a relief, gave me a nice break. 477 00:17:29,368 --> 00:17:31,557 But now Manny and I, we got our own thing. 478 00:17:31,737 --> 00:17:33,588 Look, I know I'm not his dad... 479 00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:37,604 Maybe I don't like the reminder. 480 00:17:41,876 --> 00:17:43,752 - Oh! Oh, my gosh! - Hey, what's up? 481 00:17:43,916 --> 00:17:45,475 - What? - We came as soon as we heard. 482 00:17:45,476 --> 00:17:46,311 Heard what? 483 00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:48,043 We heard Phil got bad news from the doctor. 484 00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:49,207 Who told you that? 485 00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,399 Gloria! 486 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,914 No, I didn't say that he got bad news... 487 00:17:53,915 --> 00:17:55,944 I said that he was getting bad news. 488 00:17:55,945 --> 00:17:58,600 You don't know that he's getting bad news. 489 00:17:58,601 --> 00:18:00,424 I saw a black mouse. 490 00:18:00,425 --> 00:18:02,048 I saw a black mouse. 491 00:18:02,049 --> 00:18:03,152 So he says. 492 00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:05,585 - Okay. You guys... - Oh, this is worse than I thought! 493 00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,560 No, it's not. Listen to me. Listen. 494 00:18:07,561 --> 00:18:08,663 Phil is fine. As a matter of fact, 495 00:18:08,664 --> 00:18:09,804 you should go before he even knows you're here. 496 00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:12,200 No, no. We're staying. We're staying. 497 00:18:12,445 --> 00:18:14,136 We got here as soon as we could. 498 00:18:14,286 --> 00:18:15,841 Did you bring the coffee cake? 499 00:18:15,842 --> 00:18:17,272 Yes, I have it right here. 500 00:18:17,273 --> 00:18:19,133 He carried it in from the car. I paid for it. 501 00:18:19,134 --> 00:18:20,872 Listen. Listen to me. 502 00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:23,528 I am very sorry for what you are going through. 503 00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:24,628 Thank you. 504 00:18:24,948 --> 00:18:25,623 Who is this? 505 00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:26,853 Who, indeed? 506 00:18:26,968 --> 00:18:28,863 I am Javier Delgado, Manny's father 507 00:18:28,864 --> 00:18:31,548 and Gloria's former husband and lover. 508 00:18:31,842 --> 00:18:33,580 I hope you do not think this is insensitive, 509 00:18:33,581 --> 00:18:34,833 but you are a beautiful woman, 510 00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:36,393 and you will have no trouble to find a man--... 511 00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:39,961 Javier! The body is not even cold yet! 512 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,429 The body is upstairs watching basketball. 513 00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:43,740 He is fine. 514 00:18:43,741 --> 00:18:45,375 - Gloria said he was sick. - No. 515 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:47,299 He went to the doctor, he had some tests. 516 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,431 The doctor called. That's it. 517 00:18:48,432 --> 00:18:53,036 Plus today he run out of his lifetime supply of razors. 518 00:18:53,037 --> 00:18:54,169 That's a sign. 519 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,563 This is a lot of hocus-pocus! 520 00:18:55,564 --> 00:18:57,724 I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this! 521 00:18:57,725 --> 00:18:59,323 Wait, wait, wait, no, no. I'm confused. 522 00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,795 What did the doctor say exactly? 523 00:19:00,796 --> 00:19:03,715 I don't know. We missed his call this morning. 524 00:19:03,716 --> 00:19:04,813 The doctor called on Saturday? 525 00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:06,891 - Yeah. So? - Nothing. 526 00:19:07,806 --> 00:19:09,514 Not nothing. Not nothing. What? 527 00:19:10,255 --> 00:19:11,168 Well, it's just that, uh, 528 00:19:11,169 --> 00:19:14,348 Doctors don't usually call on Saturday with good news. 529 00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:15,704 But they could call-- 530 00:19:15,705 --> 00:19:16,713 I mean, he could call with anything. 531 00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:18,597 Do you think he's sick... 532 00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:22,352 What's... what's going on? 533 00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:24,904 Nothing. Nothing. Everybody just came by 534 00:19:24,905 --> 00:19:26,264 for absolutely no reason at all. 535 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,223 You look worried. 536 00:19:27,224 --> 00:19:28,709 I'm not worried. 537 00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,860 Oh, god. The plane's in trouble. 538 00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:34,020 You put away the drink cart and you're strapping in. 539 00:19:34,021 --> 00:19:37,040 - You're gonna be fine, kid! - You are gonna be great! 540 00:19:37,689 --> 00:19:38,713 I wish I looked this good. 541 00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:40,908 Stop, please! You're freaking me out. 542 00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:41,936 Are you gonna die? 543 00:19:41,937 --> 00:19:44,861 I don't know! There's stil a 5% chance I'll make it! 544 00:19:48,774 --> 00:19:50,695 - It's Dr. Sendroff. - Okay. Okay. 545 00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:51,519 Guys, I don't know what's on 546 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,745 the other end of this phone call... 547 00:19:52,746 --> 00:19:55,360 But whatever happens, I just want you to know, 548 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,253 you've already given me a lifetime supply of happiness. 549 00:19:58,512 --> 00:19:59,237 I remember once as a child-- 550 00:19:59,238 --> 00:20:01,568 - Answer it! - Do it! 551 00:20:02,324 --> 00:20:03,520 Dr. Sendroff? 552 00:20:04,276 --> 00:20:05,425 What's the word? 553 00:20:08,564 --> 00:20:10,849 - Are you serious? - What? 554 00:20:12,181 --> 00:20:12,687 That's it? 555 00:20:12,688 --> 00:20:13,949 What is it?! 556 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,661 H-hold on one second. 557 00:20:15,889 --> 00:20:18,316 He's calling about a real estate listing. I'm fine. 558 00:20:18,337 --> 00:20:19,188 Ay, no. 559 00:20:19,189 --> 00:20:22,008 Yesterday, you said you'd call if something was wrong. 560 00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:24,709 Then you called, then you disappeared. 561 00:20:24,729 --> 00:20:26,992 That is the most irresponsible, unprofessional thing 562 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,177 I've ever heard of in my entire life! 563 00:20:29,178 --> 00:20:30,676 And do you have anyone to represent you 564 00:20:30,677 --> 00:20:32,758 in the sale of your current house? 565 00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:33,654 Look into his eyes. 566 00:20:33,655 --> 00:20:35,000 I don't care what the doctor says. 567 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,614 I give him six months. 568 00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:40,279 Stop staring. 569 00:20:47,665 --> 00:20:50,359 So, Phil Dunphy, tell us a little bit about yourself. 570 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,023 Well, Chip, I'm married to a great lady-- Hi, Claire! 571 00:20:53,024 --> 00:20:54,314 And I have a baby girl. 572 00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:57,186 Um, I'm a real estate agent, and I enjoy playing checkers. 573 00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:59,555 - Okay. - Both Chinese and American. 574 00:20:59,556 --> 00:21:01,887 And, uh, I am a fan of hip-hop. 575 00:21:02,275 --> 00:21:03,075 Well, good for you. 576 00:21:03,076 --> 00:21:06,144 Though I try to stay neutral in the whole east coast/west coast thang. 577 00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:07,663 - Next up we have a-- - One quick thing-- 578 00:21:07,664 --> 00:21:09,840 Shout out to my, uh, college buddy Ling, 579 00:21:09,841 --> 00:21:13,027 who built his own helicopter and is taking his first flight today, 580 00:21:13,028 --> 00:21:15,235 and, uh, I also wanna wish a happy anniversary 581 00:21:15,236 --> 00:21:17,187 to my in-laws Jay and Dede Pritchett. 582 00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:19,848 Your eternal love is an inspiration to us all. 583 00:21:19,849 --> 00:21:21,525 Okay. That's enough. 584 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:24,914 Next up, we have a homemaker from West Mifflin, Pennsylvania. 585 00:21:24,915 --> 00:21:25,764 Hi. 586 00:21:25,844 --> 00:21:29,344 sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC visit tvshowslatest.blogspot.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net