1 00:00:00,753 --> 00:00:02,752 Yeah, honey, Mitchell helped me pick out the shirt. 2 00:00:02,754 --> 00:00:04,755 (Ragtime music plays) You're gonna love it. 3 00:00:04,757 --> 00:00:06,523 Ooh, I wish I could pick you up some lip gloss, 4 00:00:06,525 --> 00:00:08,525 but we're already at the car. 5 00:00:08,527 --> 00:00:10,360 Okay, bye, honey. 6 00:00:10,362 --> 00:00:11,762 Getting pretty good, huh? 7 00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:13,864 Yeah, but you were always good. 8 00:00:13,866 --> 00:00:15,866 I'm just glad you stuck with it. 9 00:00:15,868 --> 00:00:17,801 - Seriously? - What? 10 00:00:17,803 --> 00:00:21,538 - It's playing itself. - Well, I didn't know. 11 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:25,041 You honestly thought that I just became a piano virtuoso, dad? 12 00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:26,777 You've known me my whole life. 13 00:00:26,779 --> 00:00:28,211 Have you ever seen me take a lesson? 14 00:00:28,213 --> 00:00:29,880 I thought maybe you were self-taught. 15 00:00:29,882 --> 00:00:31,381 Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. 16 00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:32,059 Like when I taught myself to 17 00:00:32,085 --> 00:00:32,783 - play the clarinet. - Exactly. 18 00:00:32,785 --> 00:00:34,651 I never played the clarinet. 19 00:00:34,653 --> 00:00:35,886 Can we drop it? 20 00:00:35,888 --> 00:00:36,820 Let's go get an ice cream. 21 00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:38,722 What about my lactose intolerance? 22 00:00:38,724 --> 00:00:40,690 Oh, I'm not loving this game. 23 00:00:41,726 --> 00:00:43,060 (Scoffs) This sucks. 24 00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:44,728 My teacher gave me mononucleosis. 25 00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:46,563 As a parent, I feel I should ask about this. 26 00:00:46,565 --> 00:00:47,931 Slow down. 27 00:00:47,933 --> 00:00:49,566 It's not like she gets that many tugs on the line. 28 00:00:49,568 --> 00:00:50,868 ALEX: It's for A.P. Bio. 29 00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:52,169 We have to write a report about a disease, 30 00:00:52,171 --> 00:00:53,270 and I got the worst one. 31 00:00:53,272 --> 00:00:54,271 This is a joke. 32 00:00:54,273 --> 00:00:55,572 Actually, it's pretty serious. 33 00:00:55,574 --> 00:00:58,008 Back in college, I caught mono from my roommate, ling. 34 00:00:58,010 --> 00:01:00,444 Served us right for fooling around. 35 00:01:00,446 --> 00:01:03,013 Never share a flute, kids. 36 00:01:03,015 --> 00:01:04,415 Hey, can you drop me off at the library? 37 00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:06,950 Sorry. I'm meeting some friends at that coffee shop on lake. 38 00:01:06,952 --> 00:01:08,519 You mean the one next to the library? 39 00:01:08,521 --> 00:01:09,553 That's a library? 40 00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:10,721 I thought it was a church 41 00:01:10,723 --> 00:01:12,356 for a religion that didn't allow makeup. 42 00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:14,258 When is the washing machine gonna get fixed? 43 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:16,560 I'm wearing a swimsuit underneath my pants. 44 00:01:16,562 --> 00:01:18,595 (Groans) Everybody's gonna have clean clothes soon. 45 00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:20,297 The repair guy's supposed to come today 46 00:01:20,299 --> 00:01:21,398 between 10:00 and 2:00. 47 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,810 Oh, Honey, can you be here for that? 48 00:01:22,836 --> 00:01:25,135 Can I sit around in an empty house and wait for someone? 49 00:01:25,137 --> 00:01:28,405 Baby, I'm a realtor. I have a license for that. 50 00:01:28,407 --> 00:01:29,973 You sure you don't mind? Go. Run your errands. 51 00:01:29,975 --> 00:01:31,475 It'll give me a chance to get started on these dishes. 52 00:01:31,477 --> 00:01:33,477 Oh, good. All right, come on, Luke. 53 00:01:33,479 --> 00:01:35,546 All right. See you guys later. 54 00:01:37,415 --> 00:01:39,917 Oh. More dishes than I thought. 55 00:01:39,919 --> 00:01:42,619 That lasagna's gonna be a tough one. 56 00:01:42,621 --> 00:01:45,622 Somebody's gonna need a scrub brush. (Door closes) 57 00:01:45,624 --> 00:01:47,257 (Cellphone ringing) 58 00:01:47,259 --> 00:01:50,160 (Cellphone beeps) Hello? 59 00:01:50,162 --> 00:01:52,029 What? 60 00:01:53,064 --> 00:01:55,399 No...Way! 61 00:01:55,401 --> 00:01:58,001 June 10, 1988. 62 00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,443 Carla Concannon and I spent the afternoon 63 00:01:59,473 --> 00:02:01,406 frolicking at the public pool. 64 00:02:01,408 --> 00:02:04,742 Later, at her house, things got private 65 00:02:04,744 --> 00:02:08,513 while a 45 of carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" played. 66 00:02:08,515 --> 00:02:12,417 It was my first time, her first time... 67 00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:13,651 With me. 68 00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:16,421 I always thought it'd be fun to own that 45. 69 00:02:16,423 --> 00:02:18,356 When the record store finally called that morning, 70 00:02:18,358 --> 00:02:21,159 I ran right down so I wouldn't miss the repairman. 71 00:02:21,161 --> 00:02:22,627 (Bells jingle) I had to have it. 72 00:02:22,629 --> 00:02:24,329 It was the chance to relive 73 00:02:24,331 --> 00:02:27,365 those magical 3 minutes and 42 seconds, 74 00:02:27,367 --> 00:02:29,434 which was also the length of the song. 75 00:02:29,436 --> 00:02:31,269 But then it dawned on me-- 76 00:02:31,271 --> 00:02:33,204 I was cheating on my wife 77 00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:35,740 with the red-hot memory of another woman. 78 00:02:39,512 --> 00:02:41,346 I could not let Claire find out. 79 00:02:42,681 --> 00:02:44,549 I had to destroy the evidence. 80 00:02:44,551 --> 00:02:47,418 Luckily, I'm cool under pressure. 81 00:02:49,355 --> 00:02:50,522 Ow! 82 00:02:50,524 --> 00:02:51,689 (Grunts) 83 00:02:53,192 --> 00:02:54,559 Ow. 84 00:02:57,329 --> 00:02:59,330 What?! No! 85 00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:01,232 When did he...? 86 00:03:01,234 --> 00:03:02,734 Come on! 87 00:03:02,736 --> 00:03:04,869 There were a couple of snags, 88 00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:08,540 but I think I covered my tracks pretty well. (Sighs) 89 00:03:17,017 --> 00:03:20,017 Sync and Corrected by er1ck9 www.addic7ed.com 90 00:03:20,587 --> 00:03:22,988 I'm so sorry it took so long to get you these clothes. 91 00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,823 I left them in the back of my car 92 00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:26,391 and completely forgot about them. 93 00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:27,826 Sounds familiar. 94 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,361 I was in the pharmacy for three minutes. 95 00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:30,896 You had a cracked window and a juice box. 96 00:03:30,898 --> 00:03:32,230 Let's retire that story. 97 00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:33,999 Can I wear this for the family photo? 98 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,934 Oh, honey, that's adorable, but, you know, 99 00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:37,869 Gloria wants us in jeans and a black T-shirt-- 100 00:03:37,871 --> 00:03:39,104 classic and casual. 101 00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:40,872 And then maybe afterwards, we can stop by 102 00:03:40,874 --> 00:03:42,507 and change the scenery in a high-school play. 103 00:03:42,509 --> 00:03:44,076 That is a really cute dress. 104 00:03:44,078 --> 00:03:45,844 Oh, yeah, thank you. Just got it yesterday. 105 00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:47,245 Really? 106 00:03:47,247 --> 00:03:49,548 It reminds me of something I gave you six months ago. 107 00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:50,504 (High-pitched) Do you ever put 108 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:51,616 her in the girls' hand-me-downs? 109 00:03:51,618 --> 00:03:53,118 - Oh, yeah. All the time. - (Higher) Really? 110 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,455 Because if my girls' old clothes aren't to your taste, 111 00:03:56,457 --> 00:03:58,557 I could always just... Give them to somebody else! 112 00:03:58,559 --> 00:03:59,925 Okay, calm down, Claire. 113 00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:02,127 Your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs our cat. 114 00:04:02,129 --> 00:04:03,395 (Door opens) (Clears throat) 115 00:04:03,397 --> 00:04:05,697 Hey. Oh, my God. 116 00:04:05,699 --> 00:04:07,265 You will not believe what dad just said. 117 00:04:07,267 --> 00:04:09,267 - So, we're at the mall, right? - CLAIRE: Mm-hmm. 118 00:04:09,269 --> 00:04:11,236 And there's a piano there. I sit down behind it. 119 00:04:11,238 --> 00:04:12,404 - I start-- - Come on, Mitchell. 120 00:04:12,406 --> 00:04:14,306 He's just not wired for compliments. 121 00:04:14,308 --> 00:04:15,707 I'm sure your playing was great. 122 00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:18,643 I don't play the piano. I've never taken a lesson. 123 00:04:18,645 --> 00:04:19,811 - Are you sure? - Oh, my God. 124 00:04:19,813 --> 00:04:21,079 My own family doesn't even know me. 125 00:04:21,081 --> 00:04:22,814 Mitchell, please. Don't be so sensitive. 126 00:04:22,816 --> 00:04:24,049 You don't see me pitching a fit 127 00:04:24,051 --> 00:04:25,917 because cam is too much of a snob 128 00:04:25,919 --> 00:04:27,152 to use our hand-me-downs. 129 00:04:27,154 --> 00:04:28,453 Sn-- I'm sorry-- snob? 130 00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:29,821 Mm-hmm. 131 00:04:29,823 --> 00:04:32,457 I will have you know I come from simple farm folk. 132 00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:34,993 There is permanent dirt underneath these fingernails 133 00:04:34,995 --> 00:04:36,228 from working the soil. 134 00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:37,262 Really? 135 00:04:37,264 --> 00:04:39,397 I had no idea that re-potting your orchids 136 00:04:39,399 --> 00:04:40,932 counted as "working the soil." 137 00:04:40,934 --> 00:04:42,300 Okay, they're in soil, are-- 138 00:04:42,302 --> 00:04:44,302 You know what? I don't want to talk about this. 139 00:04:44,304 --> 00:04:45,670 Mm-hmm. I don't need to listen to this. 140 00:04:45,672 --> 00:04:46,805 I'm gonna go out and get some air. 141 00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:50,308 - I know the feeling. - Retire it. Seriously. 142 00:04:51,978 --> 00:04:53,778 Does Joe look a little pale to you? 143 00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,514 This whole country looks pale to me. 144 00:04:55,516 --> 00:04:57,916 I think he needs a little color for tonight's photograph. 145 00:04:57,918 --> 00:05:00,519 What do you think is the minimum age for a spray tanning? 146 00:05:00,521 --> 00:05:02,488 Now that Joe is here 147 00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:05,090 and that his head is finally normal-shaped, 148 00:05:05,092 --> 00:05:07,760 I decided to take a new family portrait. 149 00:05:07,762 --> 00:05:09,662 Hola! 150 00:05:09,664 --> 00:05:11,330 How did it go at the mall? 151 00:05:11,332 --> 00:05:13,198 Bought a shirt, angered my son-- 152 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,600 another successful outing. 153 00:05:14,602 --> 00:05:16,635 (Cellphone rings) Ooh. I've been wanting to do this. 154 00:05:16,637 --> 00:05:19,038 Quick-- What's the ring around an angel's head? 155 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,839 - What? - Halo! 156 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:22,141 You did the angel one! 157 00:05:22,143 --> 00:05:23,442 Ordinarily, I'd be delighted, 158 00:05:23,444 --> 00:05:25,444 but this isn't gonna be one of our fun chats. 159 00:05:25,446 --> 00:05:26,779 You mean like that time you called me 160 00:05:26,781 --> 00:05:28,047 when you saw that blimp? 161 00:05:28,049 --> 00:05:29,948 It was so low, they waved back. 162 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:31,216 I'd done a pretty good job 163 00:05:31,218 --> 00:05:33,118 eliminating all traces of that record, 164 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:36,021 but there was still one loose end. 165 00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:47,300 You know, earlier today, 166 00:05:47,302 --> 00:05:48,735 when we ran into each other on the street? 167 00:05:48,737 --> 00:05:50,370 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 168 00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:51,471 Okay, so you're saying 169 00:05:51,473 --> 00:05:53,740 whatever either one of us might have been doing 170 00:05:53,742 --> 00:05:55,075 will remain forever-- 171 00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:57,977 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 172 00:05:57,979 --> 00:05:58,745 Just to be c-- 173 00:05:58,747 --> 00:06:00,313 (click) Hello? 174 00:06:00,315 --> 00:06:03,383 Jay's so cool. He gets it. 175 00:06:03,385 --> 00:06:04,551 I didn't know what he was talking about, 176 00:06:04,553 --> 00:06:07,687 but I needed him to keep his trap shut. 177 00:06:07,689 --> 00:06:09,923 You see, lately, I may have been dabbling 178 00:06:09,925 --> 00:06:13,860 in something that... Strong, virile men like me 179 00:06:13,862 --> 00:06:15,919 aren't supposed to be dabbling in. 180 00:06:15,931 --> 00:06:17,931 And it wouldn't exactly fit my image 181 00:06:17,933 --> 00:06:20,934 if people found out I was considering entering... 182 00:06:20,936 --> 00:06:25,105 A certain adorable dog in a dog show. 183 00:06:25,107 --> 00:06:27,874 Gloria thought I was out getting my tires rotated. 184 00:06:27,876 --> 00:06:31,011 Actually, I was buying Stella a decorative show collar-- 185 00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:34,014 you know, just in case. 186 00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:37,284 I figure if she looks beautiful, she'll feel beautiful. 187 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,820 (Door opens) 188 00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:41,155 Guess who we ran into at the library. 189 00:06:41,157 --> 00:06:42,757 How would I know? I was here the whole time. 190 00:06:42,759 --> 00:06:44,559 Sanjay patel. He's got crohn's disease. 191 00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:45,993 - No! - I know. So lucky. 192 00:06:45,995 --> 00:06:47,762 He's totally going to win that science scholarship. 193 00:06:47,764 --> 00:06:49,430 He should use it to find a cure for baldness, 194 00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:51,399 'cause that kid is 16 with a comb-over. 195 00:06:51,401 --> 00:06:53,167 (Chuckles) That's it! 196 00:06:53,169 --> 00:06:54,735 I'm just gonna pick a new topic. 197 00:06:54,737 --> 00:06:57,738 I want a disease that everyone in the school is going to talk about. 198 00:06:57,740 --> 00:06:59,173 All right! 199 00:07:00,208 --> 00:07:01,576 - Hey! - Hi! Wow! 200 00:07:01,578 --> 00:07:02,710 Why are you standing there? 201 00:07:02,712 --> 00:07:04,612 'Cause I missed you. I love you so much. 202 00:07:04,614 --> 00:07:05,780 Oh! (Smooches) 203 00:07:05,782 --> 00:07:06,847 Oh, wow. Love you, too. 204 00:07:06,849 --> 00:07:07,848 (Both chuckle) 205 00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:09,016 How'd it go with the repair guy? 206 00:07:09,018 --> 00:07:11,252 The repair guy came, but I missed him. 207 00:07:11,254 --> 00:07:13,921 - "Why? What were you doing?" - "Listening to a record." 208 00:07:13,923 --> 00:07:15,523 - "What record?" - "It's not important." 209 00:07:15,525 --> 00:07:16,791 "Phil!" 210 00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:18,392 "The soundtrack to my first sexual experience 211 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,194 "that I think about from time to time. 212 00:07:20,196 --> 00:07:22,763 Honey, where are you going?! Don't take the kids!" 213 00:07:23,699 --> 00:07:25,032 He didn't show up. 214 00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:26,801 What?! That is so annoying! 215 00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:29,103 I know. Put away your groceries. I'll call him and reschedule. 216 00:07:29,105 --> 00:07:31,105 No, no, no, no, no. You are too nice. 217 00:07:31,107 --> 00:07:34,241 I am not resting till I get to the bottom of this. 218 00:07:34,243 --> 00:07:35,345 It's no big deal. It's not the first 219 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,477 time I've been stood up by some guy. 220 00:07:36,479 --> 00:07:37,979 Oh, listen to your words, Phil. 221 00:07:39,448 --> 00:07:40,448 Yep. Yep. 222 00:07:42,854 --> 00:07:44,354 She called me a snob, Mitchell. 223 00:07:44,356 --> 00:07:46,490 I'm-- oh, I'm sorry if I don't rush 224 00:07:46,492 --> 00:07:48,792 to throw Lily in every bargain-bin rag 225 00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:50,294 Claire tosses our way. 226 00:07:50,296 --> 00:07:52,429 You're not really shedding the "snob" tag with that. 227 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,964 Look, why don't we just put lily 228 00:07:53,966 --> 00:07:55,699 in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight? 229 00:07:55,701 --> 00:07:56,468 She'll see right through that. 230 00:07:56,469 --> 00:07:57,601 No, you're thinking of Haley's shirts. 231 00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:58,936 No, I mean it'll look like we're doing it 232 00:07:58,938 --> 00:07:59,870 just because she brought it up. 233 00:07:59,872 --> 00:08:00,805 Well, I know. 234 00:08:00,807 --> 00:08:02,606 That's why I'm looking for a photo 235 00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:04,875 of lily in a hand-me-down to show Claire, 236 00:08:04,877 --> 00:08:06,043 but I-I can't seem to find one. 237 00:08:06,045 --> 00:08:08,612 By the way, I'm barely in any of these. 238 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,781 Mitchell, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? 239 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,883 Yes! Sometimes I feel like this family looks right past-- 240 00:08:12,885 --> 00:08:15,486 You're suggesting that we stage a photograph. 241 00:08:15,488 --> 00:08:16,954 Put Lily in some hand-me-downs. 242 00:08:16,956 --> 00:08:18,489 Make it look like it's from the past-- 243 00:08:18,491 --> 00:08:20,858 Christmas, say-- Just to prove Claire wrong. 244 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:22,660 Simplicity itself. 245 00:08:22,662 --> 00:08:23,994 That's not remotely what I'm saying-- 246 00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:25,396 Mitchell, don't second-guess yourself. 247 00:08:25,398 --> 00:08:27,231 It's simplicity itself. 248 00:08:29,835 --> 00:08:32,903 Yes, once again, I would like to speak to a supervisor. 249 00:08:32,905 --> 00:08:35,873 Listen, if my husband said nobody came, nobody came. 250 00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,007 Dad, it's your move. 251 00:08:37,009 --> 00:08:38,776 No, I think I should just play it cool for now. 252 00:08:39,378 --> 00:08:40,911 I'm so sorry. 253 00:08:40,913 --> 00:08:42,380 Score! 254 00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:44,749 I got a disease that's rare and fun-- narcolepsy. 255 00:08:44,751 --> 00:08:47,418 The company swears that the driver was here at 10:00. 256 00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,086 They're putting him through to me right now. 257 00:08:49,088 --> 00:08:50,755 - I'm gonna chip away at his story. - Mm-hmm. 258 00:08:50,757 --> 00:08:51,558 Let's see how you get out of this. 259 00:08:51,558 --> 00:08:52,591 I'm thinking. 260 00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:53,825 It's a neurological condition 261 00:08:53,827 --> 00:08:56,228 where people under extreme stress actually fall asleep. 262 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:57,829 It's like a way for the brain to escape. 263 00:08:57,831 --> 00:08:59,998 I bet he was doing something he shouldn't have. 264 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,567 I'm just gonna let him keep talking till he makes a mistake. 265 00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:03,835 Everybody makes mistakes. 266 00:09:03,837 --> 00:09:05,570 (Chess piece clacks) And the noose tightens. 267 00:09:05,572 --> 00:09:07,406 Why were my headphones in the couch? 268 00:09:07,408 --> 00:09:10,108 Oh, good. You do keep GPS logs on all your drivers. 269 00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:11,176 (Voice breaking) There's no way out. 270 00:09:11,178 --> 00:09:12,778 Let me just write down your name. 271 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:15,414 Hey, does anybody need a receipt from flipside records? 272 00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:19,385 Damn it! I didn't even see that! 273 00:09:19,387 --> 00:09:21,387 Wow. 274 00:09:21,389 --> 00:09:23,188 I see you're registered for tonight's show. 275 00:09:23,190 --> 00:09:24,723 First one, huh? 276 00:09:24,725 --> 00:09:26,091 Yeah. 277 00:09:26,093 --> 00:09:27,893 I'm not sure I'm comfortable 278 00:09:27,895 --> 00:09:29,895 with that whole prancing-in-a-circle thing 279 00:09:29,897 --> 00:09:31,063 in front of everybody. 280 00:09:31,065 --> 00:09:32,765 Can someone else run her through her routine? 281 00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:33,933 It has to be the owner. 282 00:09:33,935 --> 00:09:36,435 I suppose that's the best. We have a rapport. 283 00:09:36,437 --> 00:09:38,771 - All right. See you at 5:00. - 5:00. 284 00:09:38,773 --> 00:09:40,873 Uh, I got a family thing at 5:00. 285 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:42,775 Do these things tend to start on time? 286 00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:45,411 Of course. It's not a cat show. 287 00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:46,445 Well, I better speed it along. 288 00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:47,247 Come on. 289 00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:50,082 Ugh. I can't believe mom made me take you here. 290 00:09:50,084 --> 00:09:52,218 This is my only black shirt, and mom needs me to wash it. 291 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:53,252 Wow. 292 00:09:53,254 --> 00:09:54,887 It's only when I see the less fortunate 293 00:09:54,889 --> 00:09:56,889 (voice breaking) That I realize how lucky my clothes are. 294 00:09:56,891 --> 00:09:59,258 All the machines are taken. We're gonna have to wait. 295 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,660 Oh, I am not spending any more time 296 00:10:00,662 --> 00:10:01,994 in fluorescent lighting than I have to. 297 00:10:01,996 --> 00:10:04,130 You're gonna sneak your shirt in with someone else's load-- 298 00:10:04,132 --> 00:10:05,231 like that guy's. 299 00:10:05,233 --> 00:10:06,999 Go that way. I'll distract him. 300 00:10:07,768 --> 00:10:09,735 Excuse me. 301 00:10:09,737 --> 00:10:10,903 Haley? 302 00:10:10,905 --> 00:10:11,904 Oh, my God. Kevin. 303 00:10:11,906 --> 00:10:12,905 It's "Keith." 304 00:10:12,907 --> 00:10:14,073 You really don't remember 305 00:10:14,075 --> 00:10:15,641 the guy you abandoned at Coachella? 306 00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:18,811 (Scoffs) I didn't abandon you. I-I texted you. 307 00:10:18,813 --> 00:10:20,480 That deejay put me in a trance. 308 00:10:20,482 --> 00:10:22,749 Yeah. It's-- it's almost like you were using me for tickets. 309 00:10:22,751 --> 00:10:24,985 (Scoffing) Oh. That's crazy. 310 00:10:24,987 --> 00:10:26,786 Can you get those again? 311 00:10:26,788 --> 00:10:27,921 Or was that just, like, 312 00:10:27,923 --> 00:10:29,456 a one-time thing with your Uncle? 313 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,324 It was a one-time thing. 314 00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,293 (Inhales sharply) Okay, so, good seeing you. 315 00:10:33,295 --> 00:10:34,294 Yeah. 316 00:10:34,296 --> 00:10:35,462 Remind me never to date you. 317 00:10:35,464 --> 00:10:36,596 (Scoffs) You wish. 318 00:10:36,598 --> 00:10:37,864 Please. I could totally get you. 319 00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:39,466 (Singsong voice) Like to see you try. 320 00:10:39,468 --> 00:10:41,668 All right, Lily, can you come in here, please? 321 00:10:43,204 --> 00:10:44,972 It's Christmas already? 322 00:10:44,974 --> 00:10:45,973 Yay! 323 00:10:45,975 --> 00:10:47,341 Ah. Probably should have prepped her. 324 00:10:47,343 --> 00:10:49,009 Okay, no, it's not actually Christmas. 325 00:10:49,011 --> 00:10:50,711 We're just gonna take a fun photo. 326 00:10:50,713 --> 00:10:52,813 Which I am going to be in because I am a member of the-- 327 00:10:52,815 --> 00:10:53,881 where is my stocking? 328 00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:54,982 Oh, relax. 329 00:10:54,984 --> 00:10:56,387 It's not in the shot and neither of you. 330 00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:57,818 Here-- I want you to take the picture from right over here. 331 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,119 (Scoffs) This way. Okay, great. 332 00:10:59,121 --> 00:11:01,455 Lily, I want you to put this on 333 00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:02,890 and then stand in front of the tree, and we'll pop a shot off. 334 00:11:02,892 --> 00:11:05,059 Ooh! Look at all the pretty presents! 335 00:11:05,061 --> 00:11:06,394 Those are just empty boxes. 336 00:11:06,396 --> 00:11:08,429 You're killing me! 337 00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:12,500 I don't know which one it is! I didn't see him put it in! 338 00:11:12,502 --> 00:11:15,202 (Gasps) Wait! I think I found it. 339 00:11:15,204 --> 00:11:16,404 He's coming! 340 00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:17,705 What?! No! 341 00:11:17,707 --> 00:11:19,240 What are you doing? 342 00:11:19,242 --> 00:11:20,708 Uh, I-I saw that your laundry was done, 343 00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:23,677 and I was gonna fold it for you to make us even 344 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,514 for what you thought that I did that I didn't do. 345 00:11:26,516 --> 00:11:28,582 I held your popcorn for eight hours 346 00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:29,683 waiting for you to come back. 347 00:11:29,685 --> 00:11:31,852 I walked all the parking areas twice, 348 00:11:31,854 --> 00:11:32,920 checked every medical tent. 349 00:11:32,922 --> 00:11:34,255 By the time I got back to my car, 350 00:11:34,257 --> 00:11:36,357 it had been broken into and the battery was gone. 351 00:11:36,359 --> 00:11:38,059 I had to trade my festival pass 352 00:11:38,061 --> 00:11:39,394 for a ride home in a horse trailer. 353 00:11:39,396 --> 00:11:40,929 But... 354 00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:43,331 (Singsong voice) Looks like someone got a concert T-shirt. 355 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,733 (Chuckles nervously) 356 00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:46,501 Dad, is there anything bothering you 357 00:11:46,503 --> 00:11:48,803 that might be causing-- I don't know-- 358 00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:50,505 major psychological stress? 359 00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:52,707 No. I've been acting normally, haven't I? 360 00:11:52,709 --> 00:11:54,642 Did something happen earlier today? 361 00:11:54,644 --> 00:11:55,644 Uh, nothing at all. 362 00:11:55,646 --> 00:11:57,179 Because you seem a little tense. 363 00:11:57,181 --> 00:11:58,446 What? No, I don't! Stop badgering me! 364 00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,549 I love your mom! Let's listen to some music. 365 00:12:00,551 --> 00:12:01,956 ("Nobody Does It Better" plays) Boy, the way 366 00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:03,385 You cook things up sometimes, it's a little -- 367 00:12:03,387 --> 00:12:04,486 - Dad! - What?! 368 00:12:04,488 --> 00:12:05,687 (Tires squealing) You fell asleep! 369 00:12:05,689 --> 00:12:07,122 It's like the fifth time today. 370 00:12:07,124 --> 00:12:08,623 I think it has something to do with that guy 371 00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:09,791 not showing up to fix the washing machine. 372 00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:11,793 Well, that's not exactly what happened. (Scoffs) 373 00:12:11,795 --> 00:12:13,662 You snuck out to buy "nobody does it better" from flipside records, 374 00:12:13,664 --> 00:12:14,863 and he showed up? 375 00:12:14,865 --> 00:12:16,398 That's more exactly what happened. 376 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,566 How do you know all this? 377 00:12:17,568 --> 00:12:19,301 I've been watching you all day. 378 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,570 I think the guilt from that has been causing you to fall asleep. 379 00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:24,039 - So you know about Carla? - I do now. 380 00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,975 - Dad! - What is happening?! 381 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,982 I was skeptical about the jeans and t-shirt, but I like it. 382 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,751 Any chance the photographer could fire off 383 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,152 a couple solo shots? (Gasps) 384 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,688 Look at the bottom of Joe's face. 385 00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:38,190 What happened? Did you leave him in the sun? 386 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,125 No, I took him out for five minutes 387 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,860 to give him a little color. 388 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,696 I must have not closed the visor all the way down. 389 00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,132 Why is it so important to you that he has color? 390 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,534 Because we're sending this picture to our family in Colombia, 391 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,103 and I have a son that doesn't even look Colombian. 392 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,338 Now they're gonna look at this picture, 393 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,174 and they're gonna think that I am a terrible mother, 394 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,543 that I can't even take care of my own child. 395 00:12:58,545 --> 00:12:59,978 I think your reputation is set. 396 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,379 I can still do this with my arm 397 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,148 'cause I slept in the sink till I was 3. 398 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,149 (Door opens) PHIL: Ha-lo! 399 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,951 People are here. I'll deal with Joe. 400 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,319 Okay. Come on, buddy. 401 00:13:07,321 --> 00:13:09,153 Ohh. Come on. 402 00:13:09,157 --> 00:13:10,857 Hola. Claire is on her way. 403 00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:12,625 Dad, you have to confess to mom. 404 00:13:12,627 --> 00:13:13,806 (Door closes) Clearing your conscience 405 00:13:13,832 --> 00:13:14,894 is the only way to make this stop. 406 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:16,028 Really? 407 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:17,029 I hope so, or else I have to rewrite 408 00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:18,064 the whole end of my paper. 409 00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:20,132 Just the two of you? Where's the rest? 410 00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:22,735 I had hoped to get this picture thing wrapped up by 5:00! 411 00:13:22,737 --> 00:13:24,003 They're all coming separately. 412 00:13:24,005 --> 00:13:25,204 Cam, do me a favor-- Call Mitchell 413 00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:26,372 and light a fire under him. 414 00:13:26,374 --> 00:13:27,540 I'm right here, dad. 415 00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:29,342 Oh. Good. I didn't see you come in. 416 00:13:29,344 --> 00:13:30,710 You opened the door for me. 417 00:13:30,712 --> 00:13:32,745 You thanked me for bringing a bottle of chardonnay. 418 00:13:32,747 --> 00:13:34,580 Doesn't sound like me. (Door opens) 419 00:13:34,582 --> 00:13:36,382 Hey, guys. We're here. 420 00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:38,317 Finally. Let's do this. Luke, where's your black shirt? 421 00:13:38,319 --> 00:13:39,585 Right here. I'll get changed. 422 00:13:39,587 --> 00:13:41,053 All right. Shake a leg. 423 00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:42,255 - MITCHELL: Hey, sweetie. - Hi! 424 00:13:42,257 --> 00:13:43,590 - Hey. - Hello. 425 00:13:43,592 --> 00:13:44,758 Hey, Lily, be careful. 426 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,526 Don't get anything on that beautiful outfit. 427 00:13:46,528 --> 00:13:48,295 Recognize it? Look familiar? 428 00:13:48,297 --> 00:13:49,496 Yes, I do, but I hardly think 429 00:13:49,498 --> 00:13:51,498 that putting her in one of Alex's hand-me-downs 430 00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,133 proves anything after I pitched a fit. 431 00:13:53,135 --> 00:13:55,002 Well, first of all, I think it's really healthy 432 00:13:55,004 --> 00:13:56,870 that you do admit it was a fit. 433 00:13:56,872 --> 00:13:58,271 But if you need further proof, 434 00:13:58,273 --> 00:14:00,307 I'm sure I could find a photograph over here. 435 00:14:00,309 --> 00:14:01,174 Sure. Go ahead. 436 00:14:01,176 --> 00:14:02,642 Mm-hmm. No me. 437 00:14:02,644 --> 00:14:03,643 No me. 438 00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:04,644 No me. 439 00:14:04,646 --> 00:14:06,313 Ah. There we are. 440 00:14:06,315 --> 00:14:07,347 Christmas morning last year. 441 00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:09,216 (Gasps) Oh, my God. 442 00:14:09,218 --> 00:14:11,651 Oh, it's Alex's old pajamas! 443 00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:13,620 I'm so sorry. I owe you an apology. 444 00:14:13,622 --> 00:14:15,122 Sometimes I can be really -- 445 00:14:15,124 --> 00:14:16,723 (chuckles) What's that? 446 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,291 Uh, the calendar opened to December, 447 00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:20,060 the half-eaten cookies for Santa Claus, 448 00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:21,495 the nibbled-on carrots for reindeer? 449 00:14:21,497 --> 00:14:25,466 No, that looks like last month's vanity fair. 450 00:14:25,968 --> 00:14:28,202 Oh, well, you know, every month's "young Hollywood." 451 00:14:28,204 --> 00:14:30,571 Mm, and didn't Lily just lose that tooth? 452 00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:31,739 Nope, it's still there. It's just dirty. 453 00:14:31,741 --> 00:14:33,173 Christmas-morning chocolates. 454 00:14:33,175 --> 00:14:35,576 Uh, and I am quite sure that's a reflection of Mitchell 455 00:14:35,578 --> 00:14:37,645 in the clothes he was wearing this morning. 456 00:14:37,647 --> 00:14:39,680 Oh, yay, I finally made it into a picture. 457 00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:40,714 Just couldn't change, could you? 458 00:14:40,716 --> 00:14:42,082 You are a snob. 459 00:14:42,084 --> 00:14:43,417 - Okay, you know what... - You're a snob. 460 00:14:43,419 --> 00:14:44,818 ...it hardly takes a snob to recognize 461 00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:45,753 - the clothes you put your children in... - Snob! 462 00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:46,555 ...are uninspired at best. 463 00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:48,890 Claire, Cam, enough! Oh, really?! 464 00:14:48,892 --> 00:14:50,391 Everybody in this family has good taste. 465 00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:51,659 It's just different. 466 00:14:51,661 --> 00:14:53,394 It's causing too many fights. 467 00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,430 That's why today I just put everybody 468 00:14:55,432 --> 00:14:58,032 in a simple T-shirt-and-jeans outfit. 469 00:14:58,034 --> 00:14:59,901 Mm. There's a new rule from now on-- 470 00:14:59,903 --> 00:15:02,103 nobody gives clothes to anyone else's children. 471 00:15:02,105 --> 00:15:04,338 Well, I think that's probably for the best. 472 00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:07,508 Thank God I don't have to spend one more of Joe's birthdays 473 00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:09,510 with a funny smile on my face. 474 00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:11,583 Thank you, Cam. He loves it. 475 00:15:11,615 --> 00:15:14,349 Twinsies! (Laughs) 476 00:15:14,351 --> 00:15:15,550 Yay! 477 00:15:15,552 --> 00:15:16,685 (Camera shutter clicks) 478 00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:18,420 Okay, everybody, it's picture time. 479 00:15:18,422 --> 00:15:19,454 Where's Luke? 480 00:15:19,456 --> 00:15:20,622 Right here. 481 00:15:20,624 --> 00:15:22,624 Honey, what are you wearing? Is that a girl's shirt? 482 00:15:22,626 --> 00:15:24,726 I guess I grabbed the wrong one from the laundromat. 483 00:15:24,728 --> 00:15:27,128 If I'm being honest, I don't hate the way it fits. 484 00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:29,864 It must be that guy's girlfriend's shirt. 485 00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:32,400 Is it bad that that makes him more interesting to me? 486 00:15:32,402 --> 00:15:33,735 Yes. Stay away. 487 00:15:33,737 --> 00:15:34,637 Don't worry about Luke. We'll stick him in the back row. 488 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,706 Not everyone can look their best in the picture. 489 00:15:36,708 --> 00:15:37,873 MANNY: Joe's ready. 490 00:15:38,842 --> 00:15:41,210 What did you do to him? 491 00:15:41,212 --> 00:15:42,878 You want him to look more Colombian. 492 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,714 What's more Colombian than the Colombian flag? 493 00:15:44,716 --> 00:15:45,748 He's perfect. 494 00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:47,516 Not a banner day for my male heirs. 495 00:15:47,518 --> 00:15:49,585 Claire, you're in the back. 496 00:15:49,587 --> 00:15:52,321 Phil, you're behind Claire. No rabbit ears. 497 00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:54,223 I don't want you messing around behind Claire's back. 498 00:15:54,225 --> 00:15:55,157 Dad! 499 00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:56,826 JAY: Cameron, Lily, Come on in. 500 00:15:56,828 --> 00:15:57,827 It's picture time. 501 00:15:57,829 --> 00:15:59,195 Honey. Mm-hmm. 502 00:15:59,197 --> 00:16:00,863 There's something I need to tell you. 503 00:16:00,865 --> 00:16:02,698 Uh, you know how you can treasure 504 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,366 special moments in your past 505 00:16:04,368 --> 00:16:06,869 that in no way diminish the special moments in your present? 506 00:16:06,871 --> 00:16:08,571 Yeah, sweetheart, it's called having a memory. 507 00:16:08,573 --> 00:16:09,872 Okay, I wouldn't mind a friendlier tone 508 00:16:09,874 --> 00:16:11,741 - as I move through this. - What did you do? 509 00:16:11,743 --> 00:16:12,875 Up, up, up, up, ah! 510 00:16:12,877 --> 00:16:13,909 No, that's the wrong way, sweetheart. 511 00:16:13,911 --> 00:16:15,911 LUKE: What fell out of lily's pocket? 512 00:16:15,913 --> 00:16:17,393 Is that a diamond ring? 513 00:16:17,382 --> 00:16:19,549 Huh. That'll go great with your shirt. 514 00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:21,384 It looks real. 515 00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:22,852 It is real. 516 00:16:22,854 --> 00:16:25,088 A small occlusion, but very good color. 517 00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:26,223 This is Claire's. 518 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:27,224 No. 519 00:16:27,226 --> 00:16:28,725 Claire's got her's on. Yeah. 520 00:16:28,727 --> 00:16:30,694 Ay, Phil, please, you cannot tell the difference 521 00:16:30,696 --> 00:16:33,764 between this beautiful, but a small, diamond 522 00:16:33,766 --> 00:16:35,699 and that chunk of glass 523 00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:38,101 that should have made her finger fall off weeks ago. 524 00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,402 (Clears throat) 525 00:16:39,404 --> 00:16:42,139 I feel like I am getting you in trouble. 526 00:16:42,141 --> 00:16:44,141 Picture time! 527 00:16:44,143 --> 00:16:45,542 What's happening? 528 00:16:45,544 --> 00:16:47,644 Okay, don't be mad. 529 00:16:47,646 --> 00:16:50,247 Um, I lost my real ring a few months ago, 530 00:16:50,249 --> 00:16:51,548 and I just realized it must have fallen 531 00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:53,583 in the box of clothes I gave to Lily. 532 00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:56,154 - Why'd you take it off? - Well, I got pulled over, 533 00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:59,123 and I wanted to flirt my way out of the ticket 534 00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:00,825 by pretending I was single 535 00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:03,394 and it worked, and I kind of liked it. 536 00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:05,630 And then I felt so guilty about liking it 537 00:17:05,632 --> 00:17:07,565 that I just wanted to erase the whole thing. 538 00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:08,633 So you lied? 539 00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:10,735 Yes. I lied. I'm sorry. 540 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:12,336 Does that make me a terrible person? 541 00:17:12,338 --> 00:17:15,006 - No, no. Are you kidding me? - No? 542 00:17:15,008 --> 00:17:17,241 (Exhales sharply) We've been married for a long time. 543 00:17:17,243 --> 00:17:19,610 Of course we're gonna have our little secrets. 544 00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:21,412 - The important thing... - Mm-hmm? 545 00:17:21,414 --> 00:17:22,847 ...is that we know the difference 546 00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:24,482 - between a harmless indulgence... - Mm-hmm? 547 00:17:24,484 --> 00:17:26,751 ...and a real indescret-- 548 00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:28,986 Gloria? 549 00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:30,522 - Left. - Thank you. 550 00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,324 JAY: Okay, it's picture time! 551 00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,525 Everybody, hurry up. 552 00:17:33,527 --> 00:17:35,093 Get in your positions. 553 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,328 All right? Oh. 554 00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:38,363 All right, I think that everyone is here. 555 00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:39,431 Okay, ready? 556 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,366 And smile! (Camera shutter clicks) 557 00:17:41,368 --> 00:17:43,168 MITCHELL: Are you kidding me? 558 00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,269 Nobody noticed I wasn't here. 559 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,804 What does it take with you people?! 560 00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:48,874 Ay, Joe, my baby, are you okay? 561 00:17:48,876 --> 00:17:50,475 Yeah, yeah, maybe-- maybe that-- that's what it takes 562 00:17:50,477 --> 00:17:51,710 for you to pay attention to me -- 563 00:17:51,712 --> 00:17:53,178 throw a temper tantrum like -- like Joe. 564 00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,981 I could just throw a big...Temper tantrum that -- 565 00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:58,217 or if I make a mess of everything and... 566 00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:01,553 (Cup clatters) 567 00:18:04,457 --> 00:18:05,791 (Clears throat) 568 00:18:07,994 --> 00:18:10,563 I feel like that was aimed at me. 569 00:18:10,565 --> 00:18:11,797 (Bottle thuds) You want to talk about it? 570 00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,332 Or I could just play some piano. 571 00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:14,533 So I'm in the ballpark. 572 00:18:16,236 --> 00:18:18,070 (Sighs) Look. 573 00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:21,807 If it seems sometimes like we don't notice you, 574 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,009 maybe that is because we are focused... 575 00:18:24,011 --> 00:18:26,212 (Sighs) ...on our own stupid problems, 576 00:18:26,214 --> 00:18:28,314 and you're so steady. 577 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,315 Oh, you mean boring. 578 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,316 - No. - Yeah. 579 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,684 Calm. 580 00:18:31,686 --> 00:18:33,753 Because you live your life the way you want to. 581 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,190 In fact, you inspired me recently. 582 00:18:37,192 --> 00:18:38,592 Oh, how so? 583 00:18:38,594 --> 00:18:40,360 Well... 584 00:18:40,362 --> 00:18:41,428 (Sighs) 585 00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:43,597 Fine. 586 00:18:43,599 --> 00:18:45,432 I've been going through this thing lately. 587 00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,933 It all started when I noticed 588 00:18:46,935 --> 00:18:49,436 a group of guys in the corner in the park. 589 00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,037 And, uh, honestly, 590 00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:52,506 when I first found out what they were doing, 591 00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:54,408 I thought it was kind of weird, 592 00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:56,376 but I found I kept thinking about it. 593 00:18:56,378 --> 00:18:58,412 And I thought I'd give it a whirl. 594 00:18:58,414 --> 00:18:59,746 Ok-- okay. Go on. 595 00:18:59,748 --> 00:19:01,281 I think you know where I'm going with this, 596 00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:04,217 but one of the older guys showed me the ropes. 597 00:19:04,219 --> 00:19:05,752 Next thing I know, 598 00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:08,255 I'm hanging out at that park in that corner every day 599 00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:09,256 and loving it. 600 00:19:09,258 --> 00:19:10,891 Uh-huh. 601 00:19:10,893 --> 00:19:13,260 But I must have also got some shame about it 602 00:19:13,262 --> 00:19:15,862 because it feels good when I'm doing it, but... 603 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:17,364 Is that me now? 604 00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,399 A guy with a show dog. 605 00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:20,400 There it is! 606 00:19:20,402 --> 00:19:22,302 Okay, see, I-I knew what it wasn't. 607 00:19:22,304 --> 00:19:23,770 I just wasn't sure what it was. 608 00:19:23,772 --> 00:19:25,205 In fact, there's a show right now, 609 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,907 but...Ah, I'm not gonna go. 610 00:19:26,909 --> 00:19:29,042 No, no. D-- 611 00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:31,111 - I could tell this is important to you. - No. 612 00:19:31,113 --> 00:19:31,779 You -- you should go. You should go. 613 00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:32,913 I don't want to sneak out, 614 00:19:32,915 --> 00:19:34,615 and I don't want people to know about it. 615 00:19:34,617 --> 00:19:36,317 Dad. 616 00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:39,320 A wise man once told me, 617 00:19:39,322 --> 00:19:41,589 "I don't get it, but if that's who you are, 618 00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:44,425 don't you dare be ashamed of it." 619 00:19:45,427 --> 00:19:47,428 (Chuckles) 620 00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:49,263 I did handle that kind of well. 621 00:19:49,265 --> 00:19:50,665 Yeah, yeah, well... 622 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,467 And it wasn't easy. 623 00:19:53,469 --> 00:19:56,270 I just never pictured my kid a lawyer. 624 00:19:56,272 --> 00:19:57,538 (Laughs) 625 00:19:57,540 --> 00:20:00,007 MANNY: It's scary to let people see the real you, 626 00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:01,842 even when those people are your own family. 627 00:20:01,844 --> 00:20:02,843 (Applause) 628 00:20:02,845 --> 00:20:04,145 But aren't they the ones 629 00:20:04,147 --> 00:20:05,846 we should be least worried about, 630 00:20:05,848 --> 00:20:07,982 the ones who will love us without judging, 631 00:20:07,984 --> 00:20:10,451 who forgive our faults and celebrate our imperfections? 632 00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:11,686 Maybe even encourage us 633 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,621 to let our true selves shine through? 634 00:20:13,623 --> 00:20:15,690 Wait, wait. Hang on. Wait, wait. 635 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,458 (Dog tags clink) 636 00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:18,626 Okay. 637 00:20:20,562 --> 00:20:22,363 (Camera shutter clicks) 638 00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:23,464 I think you look beautiful. 639 00:20:23,466 --> 00:20:24,498 I look old. 640 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:26,467 All my cousins are going to see this. 641 00:20:26,469 --> 00:20:29,537 Click the button that makes my wrinkles go away. 642 00:20:31,677 --> 00:20:33,910 - (Gasps) What happened? - Nothing. 643 00:20:33,912 --> 00:20:36,112 It's not nothing. You're limping! 644 00:20:36,114 --> 00:20:38,081 Were you trying to do the Russian dance again? 645 00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,916 It was just something stupid I was trying out, 646 00:20:39,918 --> 00:20:42,585 and I don't even know why, since it's basically impossible. 647 00:20:42,587 --> 00:20:44,788 Gloria. Gloria! Check it out. 648 00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:46,856 Is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen? 649 00:20:46,858 --> 00:20:48,858 She did that on her first try. 650 00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:50,126 He loves it, too. 651 00:20:50,128 --> 00:20:52,262 Oh, oh, sure. Rub it in, Joe. 652 00:20:52,264 --> 00:20:53,363 Attagirl! 653 00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:55,131 (Laughing) Here she comes this way! 654 00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:57,000 Now she's just showing off. 655 00:20:57,002 --> 00:20:58,501 Both ways. 656 00:20:58,526 --> 00:21:00,526 Sync and Corrected by er1ck9 www.addic7ed.com