1 00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:04,072 Stop it! 2 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:06,441 I think it was you. 3 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:10,778 That's Big Ben, isn't it? Boy, that's terrific. 4 00:00:10,879 --> 00:00:12,547 A thing that old, and it's only a minute slow. 5 00:00:12,647 --> 00:00:15,016 Not that our little rendezvous meant very much. 6 00:00:15,350 --> 00:00:17,452 Don't be so ridiculous. No one would believe that. 7 00:00:17,552 --> 00:00:21,356 From what I hear, your wife might know Sir Roger better than you do, sir. 8 00:00:21,523 --> 00:00:24,592 - Filthy snoop. - Ma'am, I didn't mean to pry. 9 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,462 - I can handle Miss Dudley. - Pardon me? 10 00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:45,940 Not only do I need to see to play this part, the character is not a pauper. 11 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,675 - So that can go! - All right. 12 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,912 We will change the crown in the third act. Make a note, Miss Dudley. 13 00:01:51,012 --> 00:01:52,680 And how about the heater in my dressing room? 14 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,816 The whole thing's going to explode any moment. 15 00:01:54,916 --> 00:01:58,052 I told the stage doorman, and he will fix it when he can. 16 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:00,655 Now, Lilly, at your entrance at the top of the dagger scene... 17 00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:03,291 My entrance! That scenery is covered in nails. 18 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,627 If you want to see me disrobed and disemboweled, just carry on like this. 19 00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,695 Sweetie, they are hammering as fast as they can. 20 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,231 Now, can we please get back to the subject at hand, 21 00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:13,468 which, in this case, happens to be your emergence at the top of the scene. 22 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:17,772 I've asked you repeatedly to play it with more speed and more conviction. 23 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,742 - Conviction? - You've repeatedly ignored my requests. 24 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:26,648 Aha. Miss Dudley. More of his stupid notes, huh? 25 00:02:26,748 --> 00:02:28,716 Why don't you bring them back to my dressing room later. 26 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:29,484 Nicky! 27 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,487 Uh, no, no. Better not. 28 00:02:32,787 --> 00:02:35,590 - Where the devil have you been? - To see the queen! 29 00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:37,525 Look, we're an hour late now for the dinner break, 30 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,661 and I would like to get this curtain up before midnight. 31 00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:42,296 - Don't worry, dear boy. It'll be up by dark. - Oh, yes? 32 00:02:42,397 --> 00:02:44,999 I've got at least 30 changes to argue with you, and Lilly keeps insisting... 33 00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:46,501 "Argue"? 34 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,704 We'll do whatever you say. Aren't we always the little lambs? 35 00:02:49,804 --> 00:02:50,872 Nick, are you smashed? 36 00:02:50,972 --> 00:02:54,308 Pay no attention to him, darling. Directors are always hysterics. 37 00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:57,812 My gracious wife... forgives you. 38 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:02,016 Now, off to the pub, everyone. Tonight's only dress rehearsal, remember? 39 00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:09,323 Well, what are you waiting to see? Clear out of our castle! 40 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,826 All right. Everybody back in one hour. 41 00:03:15,163 --> 00:03:16,631 Lilly, my love, 42 00:03:16,731 --> 00:03:20,601 how would you like to do A Doll's House in New York next season? 43 00:03:20,835 --> 00:03:25,606 Or star... star in some magnificent film at Sir Roger's expense. 44 00:04:28,603 --> 00:04:30,938 Nicky, for heaven's sake. 45 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:42,517 Lover! What a gorgeous surprise. 46 00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:44,485 But you never come to dress rehearsals. 47 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,488 I think I managed to get in without being noticed. 48 00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:51,692 But you couldn't stand not seeing me for another whole day, could you? 49 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,730 Is anything wrong? 50 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,833 You're not worried about this production of Macbeth, are you? 51 00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,601 We're gonna get rave notices. 52 00:05:01,536 --> 00:05:04,605 Well, you know actors. We're all just children anyway. 53 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,773 "Children." 54 00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,444 Roger, I have the most perfect idea for Sunday. 55 00:05:10,545 --> 00:05:13,447 I was walking past Covent Garden... Nick will never know. 56 00:05:13,548 --> 00:05:16,050 He'll think I've gone to visit my cousin with arthritis. 57 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,452 So I got us two seats for the symphony. 58 00:05:18,553 --> 00:05:21,122 We'll be all alone in a box together. 59 00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:23,858 - And then afterwards... - "Afterwards"? 60 00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:27,762 What do you think I am, you lying... 61 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,799 You didn't buy those tickets today. Your husband did. 62 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:32,633 What? 63 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:36,604 And last weekend at Brighton, I suppose he arranged that for us too. 64 00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:41,075 Not that our little rendezvous meant very much. 65 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,644 You so conveniently had a headache. 66 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:48,382 Roger, old boy. This is a pleasant surprise. 67 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:50,017 Lilly, what a curious position. 68 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:54,789 And you, you conniving panderer, you put her up to every bit of it. 69 00:05:54,989 --> 00:05:58,593 He's gone out of his mind. He's come straight out of a Victorian novel. 70 00:05:58,693 --> 00:06:03,364 And all just to lure me into reopening my theater, into backing you, 71 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:08,469 and into playing angel to a has-been leading man and his aging ingenue. 72 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,738 - Listen to him! - Lilly, be quiet. 73 00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:14,642 Really, Sir Roger, I don't know who's been telling you stories, 74 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,245 but if you're implying any misunderstanding... 75 00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:19,180 of my wife's deep devotion to you... 76 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,183 Why, she looks on you as her own father. Don't you, Lilly? 77 00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:27,388 That's enough! Today, I finally realize, after all my years as a producer, 78 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,290 I-I've simply been taken... 79 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:32,159 taken by a ham and a tart. 80 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:33,895 Roger, I'll forgive your nasty language. 81 00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:37,632 You've just helped me decide. There won't be any Macbeth. 82 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:41,535 I'm going out and tell the whole company. This play is not only canceled, 83 00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:45,406 but I'll see to it that neither one of you ever works again on any stage! 84 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,341 - Stop him! - Roger! 85 00:06:49,644 --> 00:06:51,846 - Nick... - Let go of me! 86 00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:55,549 Stop it! Stop it, both of you! 87 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,537 Miss Stanhope? Everything all right? 88 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,739 What? Yes. 89 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,409 Is Mr. Frame in there with you? We're about ready for curtain. 90 00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:24,845 Just a little family fight. That's all. We'll be ready. 91 00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:30,618 - Dead? - Dead. 92 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,488 Nick, I didn't mean to. 93 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,059 Well, of course you didn't, darling. Neither of us did. 94 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,528 Well, what are we gonna do? 95 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:45,199 I can tell them that he attacked us. It was self-defense, you know. 96 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,802 Sir Roger... Sir Roger Haversham? 97 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,838 Don't be so ridiculous. No one would believe that. 98 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:57,712 Nicky. He said that no one saw him come in here tonight. 99 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,214 Places, please. 100 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,316 First-act places, Miss Stanhope. 101 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:15,196 Whence is that knocking? 102 00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:21,469 How is it with me, when every noise appalls me? 103 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,639 What hands are here? 104 00:08:26,474 --> 00:08:30,244 Ha! They pluck out mine eyes. 105 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:37,685 Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand? 106 00:08:38,486 --> 00:08:42,690 No, this my hand will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine, 107 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:45,559 making the green one red. 108 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:51,132 My hands are of your color, but I shame to wear a heart so white. 109 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,237 I hear a knocking at the south entry. Retire we to our chamber. 110 00:08:56,337 --> 00:09:00,708 A little water clears us of this deed. How easy is it, then! 111 00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:03,544 Your constancy hath left you unattended. 112 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,014 Be not lost so poorly in thy thoughts. 113 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:13,220 To know my deed, 'twere best not know myself. 114 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,057 Wake Duncan with thy knocking! 115 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,926 I would thou couldst! 116 00:09:20,261 --> 00:09:21,462 Did you call Roger's club? 117 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,098 Yes. They said he hadn't been in town all day. 118 00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:26,033 But he must have talked to someone. 119 00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:27,968 It makes no difference, Nick. 120 00:09:28,069 --> 00:09:31,338 The club was positive that Roger was alone at home this evening. 121 00:09:31,539 --> 00:09:33,541 So I said, "Never mind. I wouldn't disturb him." 122 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,143 At home? That's 20 miles. 123 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,580 - Shh! You're coming unglued. - Oh, go on. Go on. 124 00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:44,185 Here's a farmer, that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty. 125 00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,488 Come in time, wear napkins enough about you. 126 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,757 Here you'll sweat for it. 127 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,926 Knock! Knock! Knock! 128 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:04,205 - What on earth's going on? - Oh, excuse me, mum. 129 00:10:04,305 --> 00:10:08,109 I-I thought it'd be a good chance to fix your heater pipes here. 130 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,845 You know, what with all that knockin' goin' on out there. 131 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,446 I won't be a jiffy. 132 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,582 - I think I'd better move this. - No! 133 00:10:15,116 --> 00:10:17,118 Don't bother with the heater tonight, Joe. 134 00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:20,521 What, and have you freezin' from icicles? Oh, no, no, mum. 135 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:24,058 No leadin' lady's gonna go trippin' over pipes and tools... 136 00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:25,526 what I leave lyin' all over her boudoir. 137 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:28,696 That's all right, Joe. I don't mind. Fix it tomorrow. 138 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,170 Just wanted you to be comfortable. 139 00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:39,740 Very kind of you, Joe. 140 00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:42,243 Oh. 141 00:10:53,354 --> 00:10:55,956 The queen, my lord, is dead. 142 00:10:59,994 --> 00:11:03,664 She should have died hereafter. 143 00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,568 There would have been a time for such a word. 144 00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:13,607 Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. 145 00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:16,143 It'll be tomorrow if you don't get a move on. 146 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:21,248 Petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. 147 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:28,689 And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. 148 00:11:29,657 --> 00:11:32,693 Out. Out, brief candle. 149 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:39,233 Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets... 150 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,269 his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. 151 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:45,506 It is a tale told by an idiot! 152 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:50,978 Full of sound and fury, signifying... nothing. 153 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,596 I found his car. I brought it around close in the alley. 154 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:10,497 Still here, Mr. Frame? 155 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:15,269 - It stopped rainin', you know. - Oh, it did? That's very nice. 156 00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,137 I'm sorry I'm so slow. 157 00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:20,908 - I-I guess we're the last ones. - Yes. 158 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,714 Still 20 minutes to closing time next door, Joe. 159 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,716 Here. On us. 160 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,784 - Oh. - I'll lock up for you. 161 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:33,821 Why, that's most gracious of you, sir. Bless you both. 162 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,489 Night, Miss Stanhope. 163 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,671 Oh. Roger's umbrella. 164 00:15:33,901 --> 00:15:38,205 "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly." 165 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,475 He had a dirty mind. 166 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,020 Hello, Freddie. What's up? 167 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,156 Scotland Yard out there. They muffed it. 168 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,592 - Lost some bloke in the airport. - Dangerous? 169 00:16:31,692 --> 00:16:33,927 No. Big V.I.P. comin' in from the States. 170 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,897 Missed him entirely. Bit of an embarrassment, hey? 171 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,066 Excuse me, sir. You didn't happen to notice my luggage? 172 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,401 Purple, kind of flowers. Actually, it's my wife's. 173 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:43,871 Luggage inquiries, bear left, sir. 174 00:16:43,971 --> 00:16:46,907 I was in there, sir. There was no one there. 175 00:16:57,985 --> 00:17:00,854 Ma'am, you don't mind if I just take a look at this loose handle here? 176 00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,957 Last night, when my wife was packing, I happened to notice... 177 00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:07,761 I haven't seen any Senate or film-star types in here, Freddie. 178 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,665 Why don't you... He's some ruddy great detective from Los Angeles. That's who. 179 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:13,200 Detective? 180 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,104 Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to do that. 181 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,705 - I thought it was my bag. - That's my suitcase! 182 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,608 I lost my bag. This is not mine. I know that now. 183 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,410 - I saw the purple on the outside. - No, it's mine. 184 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,279 A little mix-up, eh, sir? 185 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,782 You don't mind if we have a look at your baggage stubs, now, do you? 186 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,218 I don't have any. That's the problem, sir. 187 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,387 I thought I had some. I had 'em here in my passport. 188 00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:37,824 I came in on 28... 707 from L.A. I thought I had 'em right in here. 189 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:40,561 I think I made a mistake when I came in the wrong door... 190 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,461 Quite so, sir. 191 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,797 You don't mind just stepping over here with me, do you? 192 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,766 - Well, I'd like to help this lady if I could. - No, thank you. 193 00:17:45,866 --> 00:17:49,670 I'm quite sure you can explain it all to the inspector. 194 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:51,004 This way, sir. 195 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,674 Fine. Uh, one moment. Thank you very much. 196 00:18:07,688 --> 00:18:10,891 - Any luck? - Afraid not, Sarge. Usual lot. 197 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,426 Bloody hell. 198 00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,595 Well, it's not your fault he missed his plane, Sarge. 199 00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:16,363 He didn't miss it. I've just checked with the airline. 200 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:18,298 Freddie. Not a police lieutenant, is he? 201 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,400 I was just about to put the arm on this light-fingered bloke... 202 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,036 You what? Where? 203 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:25,939 - Over there, sir. - Him? Blimey. 204 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,146 There he is, Sarge. 205 00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:38,218 - You have everything back in? - Yes, I'm... Oh, these. I need these. 206 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,220 You understand, I thought it was my suitcase. 207 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,189 Is this lady causing you a problem? 208 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,257 - I'm sorry? - Is this lady causing you a problem, sir? 209 00:18:44,358 --> 00:18:45,425 Beg your pardon? 210 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:49,129 I'm, uh, Sergeant O'Keefe, Scotland Yard. 211 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,031 - Lieutenant. - Oh. This is all my fault. 212 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,901 I'm here to escort you to London, sir. I'm sorry, uh... I missed you at the plane, sir. 213 00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:55,869 How do you do, Sergeant? 214 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,338 - How do you do, Lieutenant? - Oh, this is a great honor. 215 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,775 Well... The car's just parked outside. 216 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:04,177 - Would you excuse me, please? - Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry. 217 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,545 It's all right. All right. 218 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,248 The problem here is I seem to have lost my suitcase. 219 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,084 Then the Yard will find it for you, sir. 220 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,419 It's the least we can do for an honored guest, eh? 221 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:13,453 I don't wanna be a nuisance. 222 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:15,622 - No, no, no. It's no trouble, sir. - Oh, fine. 223 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,925 Already we've, uh, found your passport for you. 224 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,862 Oh, and the commissioner's office asked me to, uh, 225 00:19:21,962 --> 00:19:25,232 give you their official welcome, Lieutenant. 226 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,201 Even if I did muck up the red carpet business a bit, sir. 227 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,437 Oh, it's just great to be here. 228 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,240 - How do you do? Lieutenant Columbo. - How do you do, Lieutenant? 229 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,076 Thank you very, very much. That's all, you know. 230 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,479 I mean, just to be here... Scotland Yard, Jack the Ripper and all that. 231 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,015 - Thank you very much. - This way, Lieutenant. 232 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:45,218 - Oh, fine. Take it easy, fellas. - I got the car waiting out here, sir. 233 00:22:05,192 --> 00:22:07,227 - Gee, thanks for stopping. - No trouble at all, Lieutenant. 234 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,262 Wait till my brother-in-law sees that picture. 235 00:22:09,362 --> 00:22:12,666 Thank you very much for stopping. I borrowed this camera from him. 236 00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:16,369 See, he's in the National Guard. He thinks he looks good in his uniform. 237 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:20,140 - Certainly, Lieutenant. - Gee, I hope I put the film in right. 238 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:51,238 You mean that's it? 239 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:55,041 I expect you've seen pictures of the New Scotland Yard, Lieutenant. 240 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,343 That looks pretty new to me. 241 00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:59,045 The New Scotland Yard was the old headquarters. 242 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:01,381 Uh, but it wasn't old Scotland Yard. 243 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,550 No, no. It was New Scotland Yard, but, um... 244 00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:05,986 - O'Keefe. - I'm gonna take a picture. 245 00:23:06,086 --> 00:23:08,221 Where the devil have you been? That plane got in two hours ago. 246 00:23:08,321 --> 00:23:08,989 Didn't you meet it? 247 00:23:09,089 --> 00:23:10,523 I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realize there was a hurry on. 248 00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:13,560 He's never been here before. I suppose things do look a bit different. 249 00:23:13,994 --> 00:23:16,162 They were changing the guard at Buckingham Palace. 250 00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:19,799 Fortunately, his camera wasn't in his suitcase. 251 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,836 Yeah, he's lost it. Uh, his suitcase, I mean. 252 00:23:22,936 --> 00:23:25,972 Yeah, there was a bit of a mix-up at London Airport. 253 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,844 What, you mean... I say. 254 00:23:31,444 --> 00:23:33,046 Uh, Lieutenant. 255 00:23:34,047 --> 00:23:35,315 Lieutenant. 256 00:23:35,882 --> 00:23:39,486 This is, uh, Detective Chief Superintendent Durk. 257 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,588 - Lieutenant Columbo. - Lieutenant. 258 00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,824 Detective Chief Superintendent Durk. This is a great honor. 259 00:23:45,125 --> 00:23:46,159 "Durk" will do. 260 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,895 He's to be your host on this inspection visit, sir. 261 00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,764 I certainly don't wanna get in your hair, sir. 262 00:23:50,931 --> 00:23:53,366 Nonsense. I'm the one that's messing up your schedule. 263 00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:54,501 Beg pardon? 264 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:57,437 We were supposed to visit the new police academy at Reading today. 265 00:23:57,537 --> 00:24:00,340 But I'm afraid my wife called, and we're going to have to make a little detour. 266 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,408 I hope you don't mind. 267 00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:04,177 My wife always calls about some errand at the grocery store. 268 00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:06,780 A bit different this time. Death in the family. 269 00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:09,950 We'll use my car. 270 00:25:26,793 --> 00:25:28,928 Sure must be a big family. 271 00:25:31,264 --> 00:25:33,566 The old duffer lived all alone actually. 272 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,335 My wife's uncle, twice removed. 273 00:25:35,435 --> 00:25:37,937 Actually, I saw very little of the fellow. Come on. 274 00:25:45,345 --> 00:25:46,579 This is just a duty call. 275 00:25:46,679 --> 00:25:49,249 I'll leave my card, and then we can be moving along. 276 00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:52,786 I thought you might like to look around one of these old places. 277 00:25:52,886 --> 00:25:55,288 Oh, uh, Mr. Durk, sir? 278 00:25:55,488 --> 00:25:57,624 Yes. Are you the local constable? 279 00:25:57,791 --> 00:25:59,426 Fatheringham, sir. 280 00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:02,295 And my accident report is already filed. 281 00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:07,734 Mr. Tanner, he was properly disturbed finding the master expired. 282 00:26:08,034 --> 00:26:09,903 And before breakfast and all. 283 00:26:10,003 --> 00:26:13,840 So I stayed around to help see to the removal of the remains. 284 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:18,144 Uh, just took His Lordship off, they did, to have him properly coffined. 285 00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:22,649 Uh, for public mourning, considering his station. 286 00:26:22,882 --> 00:26:23,783 What did he say? 287 00:26:23,883 --> 00:26:27,754 His Lordship died. Uh, some sort of accident. 288 00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:29,022 What happened? 289 00:26:29,522 --> 00:26:31,224 Well, I really don't know. 290 00:26:31,324 --> 00:26:32,826 You think you could ask? 291 00:26:34,627 --> 00:26:36,396 Could you fill us in, Constable? 292 00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:40,333 Oh, uh, took a fall down the staircase, he did. 293 00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:43,269 Landed just there, fully clad. 294 00:26:43,670 --> 00:26:46,339 Must have happened before midnight, the doctor thought, 295 00:26:46,439 --> 00:26:48,174 what with the rigor mortis. 296 00:26:48,408 --> 00:26:51,044 But we added it all up quite neatly. 297 00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:54,247 Sir Roger was reading in the upstairs sitting room, you see, 298 00:26:54,347 --> 00:26:56,015 and he started to come down. 299 00:26:56,116 --> 00:26:57,517 Here we are, Charlie, dear. 300 00:26:58,084 --> 00:27:01,421 In times of trial, I always say there's nothing like... 301 00:27:01,521 --> 00:27:02,288 cold beer. 302 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:07,694 Yes. Well, uh, I'll just have a word with the servants, Columbo. 303 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,829 Look around as much as you like. 304 00:27:09,929 --> 00:27:12,132 Quite an old showplace really. 305 00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:53,766 Excuse me. Irish whiskey before luncheon? 306 00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:55,935 I would have thought perhaps that a glass of sherry... 307 00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:58,638 a nice amontillado... would have been more appropriate. 308 00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:00,506 Oh, no, sir. No. Thank you very much. 309 00:29:00,607 --> 00:29:03,209 I really wasn't looking for a drink. No. I was, uh... 310 00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,278 I was just wondering, uh... 311 00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:07,780 I wonder, could you tell me, 312 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,685 do you know whether or not Mr., uh... the gentleman, Sir Haversham... 313 00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:14,821 was that the chair that he was reading in last night? 314 00:29:14,921 --> 00:29:15,688 Well, as a matter of fact, 315 00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:18,858 that was Sir Roger's favorite chair when he wanted to read, yes. 316 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,960 Oh, I see. Terrible thing, wasn't it? 317 00:29:21,060 --> 00:29:23,029 Yes. Very shocking. Thank you very much. 318 00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:25,431 - Why do you suppose he started downstairs? - No idea. 319 00:29:25,531 --> 00:29:29,235 No. Couldn't have been to get any liquor. Certainly plenty of stuff up here. 320 00:29:29,335 --> 00:29:32,672 Well, sir, it's not for me to question my master's wishes. 321 00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:35,275 As a matter of fact, he sometimes preferred to have a cup of cocoa... 322 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:37,243 as a nightcap, from the kitchen. 323 00:29:38,177 --> 00:29:39,045 You work here? 324 00:29:39,212 --> 00:29:42,882 Indeed I do. I've been here for many happy years. 325 00:29:44,117 --> 00:29:46,219 I thought you were a friend of the family. 326 00:29:46,319 --> 00:29:47,687 Thank you very much. 327 00:29:47,787 --> 00:29:51,357 And you, I take it, are the gentleman who rang the bell just now. 328 00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:53,393 - Oh, that works? - Indeed it does. 329 00:29:53,493 --> 00:29:55,762 Gee, I thought it was just decoration. 330 00:29:56,996 --> 00:29:59,399 - Boy, that's funny, isn't it? - What's funny? 331 00:29:59,499 --> 00:30:01,534 No. I was just wondering, if, uh... 332 00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:04,270 if he wanted something last night, why he didn't just ring for it. 333 00:30:04,404 --> 00:30:07,073 Well, if I may say so, unlike many masters, 334 00:30:07,173 --> 00:30:09,809 Sir Roger was very considerate to his staff. 335 00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:11,844 Perhaps you'll be good enough to excuse me. 336 00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:14,380 Oh, certainly, sir. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hold you up. 337 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,648 I just get curious about these things. 338 00:30:15,748 --> 00:30:18,251 I guess nobody heard anything when he fell downstairs. 339 00:30:18,351 --> 00:30:19,185 Well, that's understandable. 340 00:30:19,285 --> 00:30:21,954 You see, cook's quarters are in the south wing. 341 00:30:22,055 --> 00:30:25,792 And the maids also sleep there. I live in the old cottage. 342 00:30:25,892 --> 00:30:28,361 And it so happens Sir Roger dismissed us early last night. 343 00:30:28,461 --> 00:30:30,430 I should say not later than 7:00. 344 00:30:30,530 --> 00:30:32,932 What I was wondering... 345 00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:37,136 Tanner's been the butler here for over 20 years, Columbo. 346 00:30:37,437 --> 00:30:40,340 Uh, the lieutenant's here from Los Angeles for a few days. 347 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,875 He's observing our latest techniques at the Yard. 348 00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:46,412 How interesting. Let's hope some of it "rubs off," as they say. 349 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:48,481 Oh, thank you very much. I certainly hope so. 350 00:30:48,581 --> 00:30:51,751 Listen, now, if you're the butler, then maybe, uh... 351 00:30:52,485 --> 00:30:55,154 You know, this is not too important. But, with your permission, 352 00:30:55,254 --> 00:30:58,624 it's just that I noticed that somebody said that Sir Roger was fully dressed. 353 00:30:58,725 --> 00:30:59,759 And I was wondering... 354 00:30:59,859 --> 00:31:02,695 I guess they meant by that that he was wearing, like, a smoking jacket? 355 00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:06,999 Actually, Sir Roger was wearing a gray Harris tweed suit with a blue tie. 356 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:08,534 While he was reading? 357 00:31:09,502 --> 00:31:13,072 Well, isn't that something? You know, I can't even stand a necktie. 358 00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:17,076 Sir Roger, if I may say so, was rather particular. 359 00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:20,246 Quite. Well, uh, shall we be getting along, Columbo? 360 00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:23,249 Oh, yes. Certainly, sir. Oh, uh, sir. Uh... 361 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:26,486 You know, I couldn't help noticing, uh... 362 00:31:26,586 --> 00:31:28,187 Do you have a moment? 363 00:31:34,594 --> 00:31:37,830 Now, I couldn't help noticing that a man with such an impressive library, 364 00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:40,400 isn't it funny what he did to that book? 365 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,101 What? 366 00:31:45,538 --> 00:31:49,008 I mean, if this was the book that Sir Roger was reading last night. 367 00:31:49,142 --> 00:31:52,412 - I'm afraid I don't follow you. - This is a valuable book, isn't it? 368 00:31:52,512 --> 00:31:54,046 Alice in Wonderland, first edition. 369 00:31:54,147 --> 00:31:57,784 I, uh... I imagine it's worth a few thousand, yes. 370 00:31:58,117 --> 00:32:00,353 You see, back home, we call this the spine of the book, 371 00:32:00,453 --> 00:32:04,257 and you know you can break that thing by putting it down upside-down like that. 372 00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:08,928 Of course, I never knew that until I did it to my mother-in-law's cookbook. 373 00:32:09,028 --> 00:32:11,130 She almost hit me with a frying pan. 374 00:32:11,230 --> 00:32:14,901 Well, perhaps he was in a hurry, or, uh, perhaps something startled him. 375 00:32:15,001 --> 00:32:17,437 Yes, sir. You know, maybe that's why he started downstairs. 376 00:32:17,537 --> 00:32:20,239 Maybe he heard something. He was an older fella, wasn't he? 377 00:32:20,506 --> 00:32:21,641 Yes. 378 00:32:23,643 --> 00:32:27,980 Just looking for his reading glasses, 'cause I didn't notice any around. 379 00:32:30,883 --> 00:32:33,085 Would you mind asking the gentleman? 380 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,254 Tanner. 381 00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:39,192 Mr. Columbo would like to know the whereabouts of Sir Roger's glasses. 382 00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:41,994 - If you don't mind, sir. - No, not at all. 383 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:45,198 Actually, it was Sir Roger's custom, when not actually reading, 384 00:32:45,298 --> 00:32:47,633 to keep his spectacles in his breast pocket. 385 00:32:47,733 --> 00:32:50,903 And, if you must know, that's where they still are. 386 00:32:51,504 --> 00:32:53,539 Ah. They must have gotten smashed up pretty badly... 387 00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:55,241 after he fell down all those stairs. 388 00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:59,378 Oh, well, we didn't actually waste time looking for broken glass... 389 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,614 under such tragic circumstances. 390 00:33:01,714 --> 00:33:04,884 Besides, we noticed nothing unusual or abnormal. 391 00:33:06,185 --> 00:33:08,888 No, no, no. Just a... Just a simple accident. 392 00:33:08,988 --> 00:33:09,856 Well, thank you, Tanner. 393 00:33:09,956 --> 00:33:13,659 - And, once again, my sympathies. - Thank you, Mr. Durk. 394 00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:17,063 Constable. I just had a thought. 395 00:33:19,065 --> 00:33:20,633 - Lovely chatting with you. - My pleasure. 396 00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:23,135 I'm gonna tell my wife that I met a real English butler. 397 00:33:23,236 --> 00:33:26,539 - She's gonna get a terrific kick out of that. - You flatter me. 398 00:33:27,139 --> 00:33:30,309 - Thank you. Good-bye. - After you, Columbo. 399 00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:45,251 Please. Please, gentlemen. Not now. 400 00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:48,721 I'm-I'm sorry. 401 00:34:49,121 --> 00:34:50,756 Hold it just like that, Mr. Frame. 402 00:34:51,824 --> 00:34:52,658 Thank you, sir. 403 00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:55,361 No, no, no. We don't want that sort of thing. 404 00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:58,197 Lilly, pull yourself together, huh? Hmm? 405 00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,800 Let's get you out of here. 406 00:35:01,167 --> 00:35:02,735 Out of the lights. 407 00:35:04,337 --> 00:35:05,871 Poor Lillian. 408 00:35:06,172 --> 00:35:08,608 She was like a favorite daughter to Sir Roger. 409 00:35:08,708 --> 00:35:12,078 A daughter, Mr. Frame? Not much older than you, was he? 410 00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:14,246 Whose idea is this little bash? 411 00:35:14,347 --> 00:35:17,083 This little "bash" is a dream, gentlemen, 412 00:35:17,183 --> 00:35:20,753 Sir Roger's own dream which he confided to me on several occasions. 413 00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:22,588 "When I'm dead," he told me, 414 00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:26,192 "I'd like one last chance to say good-bye... 415 00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:29,028 to all those beautiful actors and musicians and..." 416 00:35:29,128 --> 00:35:33,399 There, there, there, Miss Dudley. Stiff upper... lip. 417 00:35:33,633 --> 00:35:35,635 And what about Macbeth, Mr. Frame? 418 00:35:35,735 --> 00:35:38,104 Somebody says you're still opening tonight. 419 00:35:38,204 --> 00:35:41,173 Oh, but-but for his sake, not for ours. 420 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:44,910 Oh, if we didn't go on, Sir Roger would roll over in his grave. 421 00:35:45,011 --> 00:35:47,780 "Spectaculum procedere debet," he always said. 422 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,382 "The show must go on." 423 00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:52,218 Doesn't hurt advance ticket sales either, I suppose. 424 00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:53,152 Swine. 425 00:35:53,519 --> 00:35:55,554 Uh, I'll be right back, darling. 426 00:36:15,775 --> 00:36:16,876 Ma'am. 427 00:36:17,243 --> 00:36:20,946 It's a lucky thing I packed a spare in my pocket instead of my suitcase. 428 00:36:21,047 --> 00:36:23,416 - Thank you. - It got lost somewhere. 429 00:36:23,949 --> 00:36:26,519 - You're American. - L.A. Got in yesterday. 430 00:36:26,619 --> 00:36:28,554 707. Eleven hours. 431 00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,623 At least you're not a photographer. 432 00:36:31,157 --> 00:36:33,092 My makeup must look dreadful. 433 00:36:35,928 --> 00:36:37,263 Actually, I did bring a camera... 434 00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:40,666 and I wanted to take a picture of you, but not now. Wrong time. 435 00:36:40,933 --> 00:36:43,035 - You can keep that. - Thank you. 436 00:36:43,235 --> 00:36:47,273 Guess you must have been as close to Sir Roger lately as anybody in the whole world. 437 00:36:47,373 --> 00:36:49,141 He was our dearest friend. 438 00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:52,812 Sir Roger was mostly retired, you know, until the last few months, 439 00:36:52,912 --> 00:36:55,981 when he persuaded us to do this lavish production... 440 00:36:56,315 --> 00:36:58,184 what he'd always wanted to do. 441 00:36:59,318 --> 00:37:02,021 Now he won't even be able to see it. 442 00:37:06,926 --> 00:37:08,994 Terrible time to ask, but how could I get tickets? 443 00:37:09,095 --> 00:37:11,297 I'd love to see the show tonight. 444 00:37:11,430 --> 00:37:13,466 Well, I... I think I could... 445 00:37:13,899 --> 00:37:16,602 Well, can't your newspaper arrange it? 446 00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:19,538 - You are a reporter. - Oh, no, ma'am. No. 447 00:37:19,772 --> 00:37:22,775 Oh, no. I'm terribly sorry. No. My name is Columbo. 448 00:37:22,875 --> 00:37:25,111 - I'm just a visiting fireman. - Fireman? 449 00:37:25,211 --> 00:37:27,179 Oh, that's just an expression. I'm a policeman. 450 00:37:27,279 --> 00:37:28,481 - Police? - Yeah. 451 00:37:28,614 --> 00:37:31,250 You see, I'm just tagging along with that fella over there. 452 00:37:33,152 --> 00:37:37,957 Mr. Durk... detective chief superintendent, Scotland Yard. 453 00:37:39,592 --> 00:37:42,962 - He's showing me around London. - Well, Lieutenant, can we go now? 454 00:37:43,062 --> 00:37:43,729 Oh, yeah, certainly. 455 00:37:43,829 --> 00:37:45,898 Let's see if we can get out this way, shall we? 456 00:37:45,998 --> 00:37:49,034 Excuse me, ma'am. It was wonderful talking to someone as famous as you. 457 00:37:49,135 --> 00:37:52,671 And I hope I've been able to make you feel a little better. 458 00:37:57,710 --> 00:37:59,979 I, uh... I had a word with the funeral chaps. 459 00:38:00,079 --> 00:38:02,748 They're bringing the body about 2:00. No fuss. 460 00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:07,119 Listen, that was a great idea that you had about checking up on those glasses. 461 00:38:07,219 --> 00:38:10,756 I mean, if he fell all the way down that staircase with his glasses in his pocket, 462 00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:12,758 and they weren't even cracked... 463 00:38:13,325 --> 00:38:16,796 Actually, I rather had it on my mind to request a postmortem. 464 00:38:16,896 --> 00:38:18,631 - Post what? - Autopsy. 465 00:38:18,731 --> 00:38:21,267 Well, one never knows with these little, uh, accidents. 466 00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:22,535 You can never be too sure. 467 00:38:22,635 --> 00:38:25,171 In the meantime, you might like to take a look at our ballistics laboratory. 468 00:38:25,271 --> 00:38:26,372 It's quite the latest thing. 469 00:38:26,472 --> 00:38:28,240 Wonderful. Wonderful. 470 00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:37,750 - Autopsy? - And detective chief superintendent. 471 00:38:37,850 --> 00:38:40,686 - That means the murder squad, doesn't it? - Well, I'm not sure. 472 00:38:40,786 --> 00:38:44,356 Well, why aren't you sure? Oh, Nicky, they'll find something. 473 00:38:44,456 --> 00:38:46,325 No, no, no. Not here, they won't. 474 00:38:46,425 --> 00:38:49,295 Now, this trunk is absolutely clean. 475 00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:52,798 And we washed that cold cream jar that-that you hit him with. 476 00:38:52,898 --> 00:38:55,301 I hit him with? If you hadn't moved... 477 00:38:55,401 --> 00:38:56,869 Now-Now wait. 478 00:38:57,503 --> 00:39:00,673 Nobody even knows that Roger was in the theater last night. 479 00:39:00,773 --> 00:39:04,243 - Nobody even knows he left home. - How do you know that? 480 00:39:04,343 --> 00:39:06,812 He knew already about us when he came here last night. 481 00:39:06,946 --> 00:39:09,114 He must have been talking to someone. 482 00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:15,287 And I bet I know who... that nasty little Miss Dudley. 483 00:39:15,387 --> 00:39:17,990 Oh, that child? Don't be absurd. 484 00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:20,593 Besides, I can handle Miss Dudley. 485 00:39:20,693 --> 00:39:24,430 You try that just once, and I'll have your guts for garters. 486 00:39:24,530 --> 00:39:25,998 Oh, Lilly, please! 487 00:39:26,098 --> 00:39:27,733 Nicky, darling, won't an autopsy... 488 00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:31,670 give a clue as to what we did with Roger's body after he was dead? 489 00:39:31,770 --> 00:39:35,074 - I'm not sure. I really don't know. - Well, why don't you know? 490 00:39:35,174 --> 00:39:37,309 If you'd taken that part in the Agatha Christie play, 491 00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:39,245 like I told you to, you would know these things. 492 00:39:39,345 --> 00:39:42,348 You know perfectly well why I didn't take that rubbish. 493 00:39:46,785 --> 00:39:47,453 Huh! 494 00:39:49,054 --> 00:39:50,289 What, "huh"? 495 00:39:56,562 --> 00:40:00,065 "False face must hide what the false heart doth know." 496 00:40:00,299 --> 00:40:00,966 Huh? 497 00:41:01,894 --> 00:41:05,130 Ah, Mr. Durk, sir. Spot of tea this afternoon? 498 00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:09,068 My guest is rather hungry, George. I've been hauling him about sightseeing. 499 00:41:09,168 --> 00:41:11,070 I'm afraid he hasn't had much time to eat. 500 00:41:11,170 --> 00:41:13,405 Would you, uh, care to sit here? 501 00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:24,416 When you said "club," I thought you meant a country club or a health club. 502 00:41:24,717 --> 00:41:28,854 Mm. Bit stuffy, I'm afraid. Hasn't changed since Father's day. 503 00:41:28,954 --> 00:41:32,157 My father was an Elk once, till my mother stopped him. 504 00:41:34,493 --> 00:41:37,096 Ah. Here we are. Pitch in. 505 00:41:38,931 --> 00:41:40,966 - That's for us? - Yes. 506 00:41:41,100 --> 00:41:43,369 Oh. When you said "tea," 507 00:41:43,469 --> 00:41:46,105 I was afraid we were gonna get nothin' but those tiny sandwiches. 508 00:41:46,205 --> 00:41:47,239 This is terrific. 509 00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:50,376 Why do you think we keep the ladies out, sir? 510 00:41:51,243 --> 00:41:54,980 - Diver. What are you doing here? - I left my assistant to finish up the job. 511 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,816 This is Lieutenant Columbo, Los Angeles Police. 512 00:41:57,916 --> 00:42:01,220 Really? Now, there's a place with opportunity. 513 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:05,224 - Why, 20 times the business I get here. - Beg pardon? 514 00:42:05,324 --> 00:42:07,826 - Liverwurst, sir? - Yes. 515 00:42:07,926 --> 00:42:10,896 Go on. Go on, gentlemen. I'll just talk while you eat. 516 00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:13,866 - Uh, Diver is our pathologist. - Oh. 517 00:42:15,934 --> 00:42:17,269 Waiter. Chop. 518 00:42:18,103 --> 00:42:21,673 Postmortem lividity, Mr. Durk. There it was, all over him. 519 00:42:21,774 --> 00:42:24,610 There was your answer before I even made the first slice. 520 00:42:25,044 --> 00:42:27,980 Oh. You're the autopsy surgeon. 521 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,183 Stilton cheese is particularly nice today, sir. 522 00:42:31,283 --> 00:42:32,484 Fine. Thank you. 523 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:35,788 As if you didn't know more about postmortems than I do, Lieutenant. 524 00:42:35,888 --> 00:42:39,024 All that opportunity. Here. These photos are still wet. 525 00:42:39,124 --> 00:42:42,428 Just notice those purplish spots on the left thigh there. 526 00:42:42,694 --> 00:42:46,198 - Oh, yes. - Do start. Don't wait for us. 527 00:42:46,298 --> 00:42:48,901 Get to the point, Diver. You mean the body was moved? 528 00:42:49,001 --> 00:42:52,171 Oh, yes. Some little time after death, I'd say. 529 00:42:52,571 --> 00:42:53,939 What time did he die? 530 00:42:54,039 --> 00:42:57,743 The abdomen too. Notice there where the... the blood's settled. 531 00:42:57,843 --> 00:43:00,145 Oh, anywhere from early evening to midnight. 532 00:43:00,245 --> 00:43:03,148 I've got the, uh, fluid samples. 533 00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:05,918 I... I don't think they'll tell us much more. 534 00:43:06,018 --> 00:43:09,354 Then Sir Roger did not die by falling down a staircase. 535 00:43:09,455 --> 00:43:13,659 Oh, no. He died somewhere else, and then he was moved there later on. 536 00:43:13,759 --> 00:43:17,029 There are several bruises, almost as if he'd been in a fight. 537 00:43:17,129 --> 00:43:21,333 And a blow to the occipital region causing that brain hemorrhage there. 538 00:43:22,201 --> 00:43:23,635 You agree, Lieutenant? 539 00:43:24,503 --> 00:43:27,639 Uh, oh, yes. It's murder, all right. 540 00:43:28,707 --> 00:43:30,075 Extraordinary. 541 00:43:31,443 --> 00:43:32,611 Thank you. 542 00:43:55,634 --> 00:43:57,402 Yoo-hoo! Tanner. 543 00:43:57,970 --> 00:43:59,571 Go on, go on. 544 00:43:59,872 --> 00:44:03,675 Well. This is a surprise. 545 00:44:03,775 --> 00:44:06,712 I must say, I didn't expect to see you here at this hour, 546 00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:08,814 with your opening and everything tonight. 547 00:44:08,914 --> 00:44:10,549 This must be dreadful for you, Tanner. 548 00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:14,019 - Thank you, miss. And for you too. - For all of us. 549 00:44:17,289 --> 00:44:20,692 Uh, Tanner, I didn't want to bring this up at this time, but something's been bothering me. 550 00:44:20,792 --> 00:44:23,795 - My Sir Henry Irving, remember? - Irving, sir? 551 00:44:24,129 --> 00:44:26,632 Yes. The other day, out on the terrace, I was showing it to Sir Roger... 552 00:44:26,732 --> 00:44:28,433 Irving's own copy of Macbeth. 553 00:44:30,202 --> 00:44:31,470 Of course. 554 00:44:31,603 --> 00:44:33,939 Yes, well, I left it here for Roger to have a look at. 555 00:44:34,139 --> 00:44:37,876 Hmm, I didn't realize. And you need it before your performance tonight. 556 00:44:37,976 --> 00:44:40,512 Oh, scarcely. I do know my lines. 557 00:44:40,612 --> 00:44:44,650 But, uh, that old book had Irving's own comments on every page. 558 00:44:44,750 --> 00:44:48,120 And I got to thinking, when someone dies, there's always all that legal nonsense. 559 00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:50,689 You know, inventories and sealing things up. 560 00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:55,260 And, uh, since it is just about the most valuable thing I own... 561 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:59,031 I quite understand, sir. We won't let those stupid tax people even see it. 562 00:44:59,131 --> 00:45:02,134 I'll slip it to you myself, and mum's the word. 563 00:45:02,234 --> 00:45:05,204 I'd, um... I'd rather not go in, darling, if you don't mind. 564 00:45:05,304 --> 00:45:08,407 Yes, I understand, dear. Shan't be a moment. 565 00:45:58,824 --> 00:46:02,127 That actor fellow... Frame. That's odd. 566 00:46:02,227 --> 00:46:04,096 I thought he had a play opening. 567 00:46:04,863 --> 00:46:07,499 Hey! Better stop that. 568 00:46:09,635 --> 00:46:12,537 You'd better leave that. We don't want anything touched for a while. 569 00:46:12,638 --> 00:46:14,072 Scotland Yard. 570 00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:16,875 - Sir Roger's, huh? - That's right. 571 00:46:17,276 --> 00:46:18,810 Sure pretty. 572 00:46:19,111 --> 00:46:22,014 Well, Mr. Tanner says wash 'em. I wash 'em. 573 00:46:22,114 --> 00:46:24,383 Well, it's not very dirty anyhow. 574 00:46:24,916 --> 00:46:26,718 A few spots. That's all. 575 00:46:29,588 --> 00:46:31,590 Say, did you wash this car yesterday? 576 00:46:32,691 --> 00:46:34,092 I wash it every day. 577 00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,728 You'd think it was his own bloomin' chariot. 578 00:46:44,436 --> 00:46:45,804 Murdered? 579 00:46:46,605 --> 00:46:49,808 Oh, God! I can't believe it. 580 00:46:50,008 --> 00:46:53,011 Yes, well, you see, the autopsy showed the, uh... 581 00:46:53,278 --> 00:46:55,347 But we won't go into those little details. 582 00:46:55,447 --> 00:46:56,281 No luck, darling. 583 00:46:56,381 --> 00:46:58,583 Wasn't in the downstairs library. Wasn't anywhere I could... 584 00:46:58,684 --> 00:46:59,618 Nick! 585 00:46:59,718 --> 00:47:01,753 This is Superintendent Durk. 586 00:47:01,987 --> 00:47:05,190 He says that someone... murdered poor dear Roger. 587 00:47:05,557 --> 00:47:08,126 Good heavens! 588 00:47:10,028 --> 00:47:11,463 We had no idea. 589 00:47:11,563 --> 00:47:12,898 Mr. Frame. 590 00:47:12,998 --> 00:47:15,434 Yes, Tanner. Uh... 591 00:47:18,370 --> 00:47:20,539 Here. It's not upstairs, sir. 592 00:47:20,639 --> 00:47:23,375 I've looked everywhere, even in Sir Roger's safe. 593 00:47:23,475 --> 00:47:26,578 - What is this you're all looking for? - Oh, nothing. A book. 594 00:47:26,678 --> 00:47:29,581 We were out for a drive and stopped by. That's all. It's not important. 595 00:47:29,681 --> 00:47:32,284 - Tanner. Mr. Durk says... - Now, just one moment. 596 00:47:32,384 --> 00:47:34,586 The Yard will decide what's important here. 597 00:47:34,786 --> 00:47:37,422 A book, you say. What sort of book? 598 00:47:37,823 --> 00:47:42,594 Well, it's rather a nice little volume. I lent it to Roger one day last week. 599 00:47:42,694 --> 00:47:44,329 Sir Henry Irving's own copy of Macbeth. 600 00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:46,565 Had his own notes scribbled on every page. 601 00:47:46,665 --> 00:47:49,034 Really? And now you say you can't find it? 602 00:47:49,301 --> 00:47:51,036 No. Searched everywhere. 603 00:47:52,137 --> 00:47:55,273 Have you indeed? Do you hear that, Columbo? 604 00:47:55,607 --> 00:47:57,976 Yes, sir, I did. I was just wondering, who is Irving? 605 00:47:58,777 --> 00:48:01,079 Excuse me, sir. Sir Henry Irving... 606 00:48:01,179 --> 00:48:04,616 perhaps the greatest English actor who ever lived. 607 00:48:05,016 --> 00:48:07,319 Well, one of them, let's say. 608 00:48:07,819 --> 00:48:10,389 But I do suppose that, uh, little copy of Macbeth... 609 00:48:10,489 --> 00:48:14,526 must be worth all of, uh, 20,000 or 30,000 by now. 610 00:48:14,626 --> 00:48:16,194 Do you hear that, Columbo? 611 00:48:16,428 --> 00:48:18,597 There, never mind. I'm sure it'll turn up. 612 00:48:18,697 --> 00:48:21,233 We have an 8:00 curtain, so, uh... 613 00:48:21,333 --> 00:48:24,836 Please call us if there's anything we can do, Mr. Durk. 614 00:48:24,936 --> 00:48:27,239 My dear fellow, you already have. 615 00:48:27,572 --> 00:48:29,007 You already have. 616 00:48:33,412 --> 00:48:35,447 Now, simple deduction, I suppose. 617 00:48:35,547 --> 00:48:37,783 Suppose there were a thief in the house. 618 00:48:37,883 --> 00:48:40,919 Suppose that's what Sir Roger heard. Came down to investigate... 619 00:48:41,019 --> 00:48:43,422 Would you excuse me for just one moment, sir? 620 00:48:43,955 --> 00:48:44,856 Mr. Tanner. 621 00:48:46,558 --> 00:48:47,225 Yes, sir. 622 00:48:47,893 --> 00:48:49,795 Mr. Tanner, sir, could you tell me, 623 00:48:49,895 --> 00:48:52,063 was there any sort of rain out here last night? 624 00:48:52,330 --> 00:48:55,133 Rain, sir? No. We haven't had a drop all the week. 625 00:48:56,234 --> 00:48:57,469 Excuse me. 626 00:49:02,007 --> 00:49:03,909 - Say, you won't forget, will ya? - What? 627 00:49:04,009 --> 00:49:06,745 My ticket. You won't forget my ticket for tonight. 628 00:49:06,845 --> 00:49:09,614 No. I'll leave it at the box office in my name. 629 00:49:22,227 --> 00:49:24,696 Hook, line and sinker. 630 00:50:01,166 --> 00:50:02,767 Nice to see you. 631 00:50:06,238 --> 00:50:08,740 Oh, you are a dear. Thank you so much. 632 00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,843 - Thrilling, wasn't it? - Oh! How are you? 633 00:50:12,511 --> 00:50:14,679 Lilly, you divine little devil. 634 00:50:14,779 --> 00:50:17,048 - You were simply marvelous. - Thank you. 635 00:50:17,148 --> 00:50:19,384 Lilly, astounding. Absolutely astounding. 636 00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:22,821 - Ah, you are sweet. - If only Roger could have seen it. 637 00:50:22,921 --> 00:50:24,089 Yes. 638 00:50:25,724 --> 00:50:27,025 - Oh. - Oh. Sorry. 639 00:50:27,125 --> 00:50:30,762 - Oh, it's you. - I think I stepped on something and broke it. 640 00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:33,098 Oh, no. 641 00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:34,633 Oh. 642 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,069 I guess this is somebody's necklace. 643 00:50:38,637 --> 00:50:39,971 Mine, silly. 644 00:50:40,071 --> 00:50:42,040 I thought I'd found all the beads last night. 645 00:50:42,541 --> 00:50:43,975 It was like this. 646 00:50:44,242 --> 00:50:46,344 My wardrobe mistress made me another one this morning. 647 00:50:46,444 --> 00:50:47,579 Lillian. 648 00:50:47,812 --> 00:50:49,881 - Oh! Darling. - Gorgeous thing. 649 00:50:49,981 --> 00:50:52,884 - Oh, you were fantastic. Just fantastic. - Oh, you are sweet. 650 00:50:52,984 --> 00:50:55,253 - Excuse me. - Sarah Bernhardt. Our own divine Sarah Bernhardt. 651 00:50:55,353 --> 00:50:58,823 In other words... This is just a little thing that you broke last night... 652 00:50:58,924 --> 00:51:00,191 during that little fight that you had? 653 00:51:00,292 --> 00:51:02,827 - That's right. Did you really like it? - You were incredible. 654 00:51:02,928 --> 00:51:05,397 Of course I'm too young to have seen Sarah Bernhardt... 655 00:51:05,497 --> 00:51:06,398 What did you say, darling? 656 00:51:06,498 --> 00:51:09,100 Listen, before I forget, let me thank you for the tickets. 657 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,637 I have never been so shook. I saw Hamlet, but that was back in high school. 658 00:51:12,737 --> 00:51:15,373 I mean, tonight when you stood there with that bloody dagger... 659 00:51:15,473 --> 00:51:16,575 - It was thrilling, wasn't it? - Yes. 660 00:51:16,675 --> 00:51:19,010 Come on. You've had her long enough. 661 00:51:19,110 --> 00:51:21,179 - Oh, yes, ma'am. - Lilly, love. 662 00:51:21,279 --> 00:51:25,250 What insight. What depth. Oh! You were delicious. 663 00:51:25,350 --> 00:51:27,519 Oh, darling. You are sweet. 664 00:51:27,619 --> 00:51:29,387 - Come to the party. - Yes, I will. 665 00:51:29,487 --> 00:51:32,857 Come tomorrow night. You'll see something... 666 00:51:34,793 --> 00:51:35,961 Thank you. 667 00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:38,763 Ah! There you are. 668 00:51:38,863 --> 00:51:41,299 Ah, so, you liked it, huh? 669 00:51:41,399 --> 00:51:43,935 Better than any movie I've ever seen in my whole life. 670 00:51:44,035 --> 00:51:46,805 I don't know what that fella Irving had, but, believe me, the way you took that part... 671 00:51:46,905 --> 00:51:50,842 - Oh, thanks. - I'll never forget it. I was thrilled. 672 00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:52,477 Wasn't it thrilling? Huh? 673 00:51:52,577 --> 00:51:54,879 Thanks for coming. Thanks. Good to see you. 674 00:51:54,980 --> 00:51:57,816 Oh, by the by, they haven't found that little book of mine, have they? 675 00:51:57,916 --> 00:51:59,184 I don't think so, sir. No. 676 00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:04,289 - Oh, you were simply marvelous tonight. - Thank you. Good of you to come by. 677 00:52:04,623 --> 00:52:07,425 They seem to think there was a robber in the house, I guess. 678 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:12,030 - Good Lord. - Oh, oh. Oh. Thanks. 679 00:52:12,130 --> 00:52:14,065 Well, that would explain things, wouldn't it? 680 00:52:14,165 --> 00:52:18,269 I... I mean, uh, if... if old, uh, Sir Roger caught him in the act, then... 681 00:52:18,370 --> 00:52:19,404 No, sir. I don't think so, sir. 682 00:52:19,504 --> 00:52:22,040 Nicky, darling, you were simply marvelous. 683 00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:24,075 Thank you, my love. Thank you. 684 00:52:26,211 --> 00:52:28,079 - You don't think so? - No, no. I don't think so... 685 00:52:28,179 --> 00:52:30,281 Because if he had killed Sir Roger... 686 00:52:30,382 --> 00:52:32,951 and then moved the body in order to make it look like an accident... 687 00:52:33,051 --> 00:52:36,421 With all those beautiful things around, why would he just take one book? Would you? 688 00:52:36,521 --> 00:52:40,592 Right on, Nicky Frame. All hail Macbeth! 689 00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:43,762 Magnificent. 690 00:52:44,763 --> 00:52:46,898 - Good to see you. - Splendid. Good to see you. 691 00:52:46,998 --> 00:52:49,367 Well, we-we've got to have a drink. 692 00:52:50,568 --> 00:52:54,773 Thank you, dear. Thank you. We did try... for Roger's sake. 693 00:52:57,742 --> 00:53:01,112 This needs a damn good brush, Mary. It's been trampled to death. 694 00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:05,583 Oh. Here you are again, Lieutenant. 695 00:53:05,984 --> 00:53:08,853 What little snoop told you there was a fight in here? 696 00:53:08,953 --> 00:53:10,321 Was she perhaps blonde? 697 00:53:10,422 --> 00:53:13,258 Oh, no. Just some guy in overalls out there happened to mention it. 698 00:53:13,358 --> 00:53:15,360 Oh, Nick and I always fight. 699 00:53:15,460 --> 00:53:18,229 Ma'am, I didn't mean to pry. I was just asking about the rain last night... 700 00:53:18,329 --> 00:53:21,332 Lilly, get your clothes off. It's time to celebrate. 701 00:53:22,267 --> 00:53:22,934 Rain? 702 00:53:23,034 --> 00:53:24,769 "Spots on the hood"? 703 00:53:26,538 --> 00:53:28,606 Oh, the bonnet. 704 00:53:28,707 --> 00:53:31,876 Well, anyway, on his car, and it hasn't rained out there for over a week. 705 00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:35,480 Ah. You think that Roger might have driven somewhere else last night? 706 00:53:35,580 --> 00:53:39,284 No, no, no, no, no. Tanner would have noticed his leaving. 707 00:53:39,384 --> 00:53:42,320 Mr. Tanner says not, sir. So I got to wondering. 708 00:53:42,454 --> 00:53:45,056 Uh, well, anyway, of course, from what I hear, uh, 709 00:53:45,156 --> 00:53:47,792 your wife might know Sir Roger better than you do, sir. 710 00:53:47,892 --> 00:53:48,927 But at any rate, uh... 711 00:53:49,027 --> 00:53:52,931 Come along, Nick, darling. We're having a simply smashing party. 712 00:53:53,965 --> 00:53:55,533 Yes, go on. 713 00:53:55,633 --> 00:53:57,936 No, I was just gonna say that the, uh... 714 00:53:58,036 --> 00:54:01,906 the paper does say that it sprinkled here in London a little last night. 715 00:54:03,074 --> 00:54:04,509 Uh-huh. 716 00:54:04,843 --> 00:54:07,912 But it must have rained in lots of places, don't you think? 717 00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:11,783 That's exactly what Mr. Frame said. Only I got to thinking... 718 00:54:12,317 --> 00:54:14,119 Since you and Sir Roger were so close, 719 00:54:14,219 --> 00:54:17,989 maybe he might have come here to wish you luck in private or something like that. 720 00:54:18,089 --> 00:54:21,693 But he didn't. I don't know what your man in overalls told you. 721 00:54:21,793 --> 00:54:23,361 Oh, nobody saw him. 722 00:54:23,561 --> 00:54:26,765 Of course, I haven't asked the stage doorman yet. I can't seem to find him. 723 00:54:27,132 --> 00:54:30,702 Lieutenant, the last time I saw Sir Roger Haversham... 724 00:54:30,802 --> 00:54:32,704 was the day before yesterday. 725 00:54:33,138 --> 00:54:37,509 It was at the Dorchester for lunch. Uh, Roger, Lilly and I... 726 00:54:37,776 --> 00:54:41,813 were discussing plans for an American production of Macbeth. 727 00:54:42,447 --> 00:54:44,816 That's if the critics like us, of course. 728 00:54:44,916 --> 00:54:47,786 And after lunch, Nick and I came back here for rehearsal. 729 00:54:48,186 --> 00:54:50,488 And Roger never interfered on those days. 730 00:54:50,588 --> 00:54:53,424 But as for that childish little fight last night... 731 00:54:53,525 --> 00:54:54,793 Lilly struck me. 732 00:54:55,193 --> 00:54:58,196 Well, he was making fatherly eyes at one of the understudies. 733 00:54:58,630 --> 00:55:00,932 Lilly is paranoid. So I struck her back. 734 00:55:01,299 --> 00:55:02,867 In a not very nice place. 735 00:55:03,268 --> 00:55:05,703 She landed against this wall over here. 736 00:55:06,004 --> 00:55:07,238 Clumsy thing. 737 00:55:07,572 --> 00:55:09,808 So I picked up my bloody dagger, 738 00:55:09,908 --> 00:55:11,943 and I went at him! 739 00:55:14,813 --> 00:55:17,649 Oh, gosh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was so late. 740 00:55:17,749 --> 00:55:19,484 Didn't mean to stay so long. 741 00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:22,220 Oh, yes, you did, Columbo. 742 00:55:22,554 --> 00:55:26,491 You heard some silly gossip, I suppose, about... about Sir Roger and my wife. 743 00:55:26,591 --> 00:55:30,595 You have some vulgar American notion of a love triangle. 744 00:55:30,695 --> 00:55:31,896 No, sir. Not at all. 745 00:55:31,996 --> 00:55:33,298 You have some nasty idea... 746 00:55:33,398 --> 00:55:36,901 that poor old Roger must have been lured into town last night... 747 00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:38,436 by Macbeth himself, perhaps. 748 00:55:38,770 --> 00:55:43,174 The play is rather suggestive of murder, I suppose, to impressionable minds. 749 00:55:43,274 --> 00:55:44,843 Too bad he didn't come visiting at Christmas. 750 00:55:44,943 --> 00:55:46,845 You could have got him tickets for the children's pantomime. 751 00:55:46,945 --> 00:55:49,380 - Nicky, stop it. - I'm terribly sorry, sir. Believe me. 752 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,783 I guess I did get carried away by those questions. 753 00:55:51,883 --> 00:55:53,418 But, you see, I just... 754 00:55:53,518 --> 00:55:56,421 I just have never seen anything like you. 755 00:55:56,821 --> 00:55:59,424 Like that performance you both just gave. 756 00:56:00,058 --> 00:56:01,125 Thank you. 757 00:56:01,359 --> 00:56:04,128 I didn't mean to be nasty, old boy. 758 00:56:04,229 --> 00:56:06,130 No hard feelings. 759 00:56:06,698 --> 00:56:09,100 You both must be exhausted. I don't know how you do it. 760 00:56:09,434 --> 00:56:13,705 With innocent, loving hearts. Good night, Lieutenant. 761 00:56:13,805 --> 00:56:18,209 Well, whatever it is, it sure must be most unusual. 762 00:56:18,843 --> 00:56:23,481 Uh, the reason I say that is because, you know, when my wife and I try to remember... 763 00:56:23,581 --> 00:56:26,784 what happened yesterday or the day before, well, we don't agree on anything. 764 00:56:26,885 --> 00:56:29,354 And you two, you not only agree, 765 00:56:29,454 --> 00:56:32,557 you use almost the exact same words to tell about it. 766 00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:37,328 - Good night. - Good night. 767 00:56:41,299 --> 00:56:44,102 After that performance we just gave. 768 00:56:44,202 --> 00:56:46,271 Of all the nerve. 769 00:56:49,874 --> 00:56:50,842 Hold it! Hold it! 770 00:56:50,942 --> 00:56:53,478 We can't have our leading lady opening her own door. 771 00:56:53,578 --> 00:56:55,647 Oh, I just stepped out for a... for a moment, sir, 772 00:56:55,747 --> 00:56:58,249 to get a little sniff of the fresh air. 773 00:56:58,349 --> 00:57:02,420 Oh, and I never heard such glorious remarks about an opening night, sir. 774 00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:06,057 Oh, and you too, Miss Stanhope. You were an angel in the part. 775 00:57:06,524 --> 00:57:08,760 If I heard it a thousand times, I heard it once. 776 00:57:08,860 --> 00:57:10,962 The queen herself will be buying tickets. 777 00:57:11,062 --> 00:57:14,799 Here. Ooh. Dear me. Oh, these doors, how they do go on. 778 00:57:14,899 --> 00:57:17,602 Well, in you get. Oh. Oh, sir. 779 00:57:17,702 --> 00:57:20,538 That's most especially gracious. Thank you. 780 00:57:20,638 --> 00:57:24,275 And you was marvelous too. That dagger and the blood and all... 781 00:57:24,375 --> 00:57:28,212 and holding up your hand like a carnation and making the audience gasp. 782 00:57:28,313 --> 00:57:31,749 Well, thank you both so much. Good night, sir. Good night, Miss Stanhope. 783 00:57:31,849 --> 00:57:33,051 Good night. 784 00:57:37,855 --> 00:57:41,826 Where did he get that umbrella? 785 00:57:42,060 --> 00:57:43,061 Hmm? 786 00:57:43,795 --> 00:57:47,298 That little engraving on the handle, just like the one that... 787 00:57:47,899 --> 00:57:50,435 Don't you remember? Roger told us... 788 00:57:50,535 --> 00:57:55,006 that Lady Astor had given him this engraved umbrell... 789 00:57:57,642 --> 00:58:01,045 - You took the umbrella last night. - Yes, of course. 790 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:04,983 I put it in Roger's closet with his coat and hat, just where it belonged. 791 00:58:05,083 --> 00:58:06,584 Mm-hmm. You sure you got the right one? 792 00:58:06,684 --> 00:58:08,519 Oh, Nick. Yes, of course. 793 00:58:08,619 --> 00:58:12,156 It was the only one there. Umbrella, I mean. In my dressing room. 794 00:58:12,256 --> 00:58:16,160 Except... Well, Joe did pick up some of his own things earlier. 795 00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:20,164 Oh, no. 796 00:58:22,967 --> 00:58:23,968 Oh. 797 00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,475 Here. Watch it, mate. 798 00:59:04,976 --> 00:59:09,147 Why, Mr. Frame. What a delight. What are... I thought you'd gone home. 799 00:59:09,247 --> 00:59:11,716 I couldn't get away from the curb. 800 00:59:11,816 --> 00:59:14,652 Some of Lilly's country cousins came by. 801 00:59:14,752 --> 00:59:17,889 Stopped us. Dreary things. They'll be talking forever. 802 00:59:18,022 --> 00:59:20,825 So you drop in for a pint of wallop, eh? 803 00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:24,595 - Uh, what are you having? - Uh, well, it was bitter. 804 00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:27,198 I'm dying of thirst. Uh... Uh, Bess, uh, 805 00:59:27,298 --> 00:59:29,133 give us two of the same, and put it on my account, love. 806 00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:30,101 Yes, sir, Mr. Frame. 807 00:59:30,201 --> 00:59:32,370 Why, that's extremely gracious of you, Mr. Frame. 808 00:59:32,470 --> 00:59:35,206 Thank you. Thank you very much. Very nice. 809 00:59:38,009 --> 00:59:41,646 You know, that thing is rather dangerous. Uh, 810 00:59:41,779 --> 00:59:43,214 you're gonna stab somebody with that. 811 00:59:43,314 --> 00:59:45,550 - Let me put it on the stand for you. - No, no. 812 00:59:45,650 --> 00:59:49,620 No, I'm... I'm very careful with it, Mr. Frame. Thank you. 813 00:59:52,223 --> 00:59:54,659 - Cheers, Joe. - To you. 814 01:00:04,402 --> 01:00:08,539 - Ah! Not so rusty after all, huh? - No, Mr. Frame. It's not bad. 815 01:00:08,639 --> 01:00:11,776 What do you say, Joe? Uh, a penny a point? 816 01:00:11,976 --> 01:00:13,578 Penny a point? 817 01:00:14,479 --> 01:00:16,347 Oh. 818 01:00:18,082 --> 01:00:20,518 Well, you know, 819 01:00:21,018 --> 01:00:22,887 my rheumatiz. 820 01:00:23,287 --> 01:00:25,556 Oh, rheumatism. All right. Let's make it a tuppence. 821 01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:27,625 Tuppence a throw, sir? 822 01:00:28,826 --> 01:00:32,997 Well, if it's going to be high finance. 823 01:00:47,145 --> 01:00:49,080 All a matter of balance, sir. 824 01:01:07,565 --> 01:01:10,535 Well, that cleans me. Here. 825 01:01:10,635 --> 01:01:12,803 Why, thank you, Mr. Frame. Thank you very much. 826 01:01:12,904 --> 01:01:15,773 Oh, well, that's it, Joe. I've really got to, uh... 827 01:01:17,508 --> 01:01:19,944 - You're empty again. - Oh, oh. 828 01:01:23,748 --> 01:01:25,816 - Bess. - Yes, Mr. Frame. 829 01:01:25,917 --> 01:01:26,951 Drinks all around. You hear me? 830 01:01:27,051 --> 01:01:29,320 - Certainly. - It's on me. Drinks for the whole house. 831 01:01:29,420 --> 01:01:33,558 Oh, that's... that's gracious of you, Mr. Frame. Very gracious. 832 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:34,018 Do you have a minute, sir? 833 01:02:34,285 --> 01:02:35,686 - Excuse me. - Don't touch me. 834 01:02:35,786 --> 01:02:36,988 Sorry. 835 01:02:40,424 --> 01:02:43,127 Mr. Fenwick? The stage doorman? 836 01:02:43,227 --> 01:02:46,697 You see, I was at the theater earlier, but I couldn't find you around anyplace. 837 01:02:47,398 --> 01:02:49,967 I was there in my post of duty as always. 838 01:02:50,067 --> 01:02:51,469 I wanted to ask you about yesterday, 839 01:02:51,569 --> 01:02:54,105 because you're the only person who could have noticed anything. 840 01:02:54,205 --> 01:02:57,541 My name is Columbo. I know that doesn't mean anything around here. 841 01:02:57,642 --> 01:02:59,110 I wish I could find my wallet. 842 01:02:59,210 --> 01:03:01,712 I've got a friend over there at Scotland Yard... Mr. Durk. 843 01:03:01,812 --> 01:03:07,151 He's chief of all the detectives there. This is me. Columbo. C-O-L-U-M-B-O. 844 01:03:07,251 --> 01:03:08,619 - Police officer. - Yes, sir. 845 01:03:08,719 --> 01:03:11,022 - You want to ask me about yesterday? - I do, sir. Yes. 846 01:03:11,122 --> 01:03:14,525 Well, no. Tomorrow. "And tomorrow and tomorrow." 847 01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:16,794 Did Mr. Haversham come to the theater yesterday? 848 01:03:16,894 --> 01:03:19,230 Did he call or anything like that? 849 01:03:19,430 --> 01:03:21,999 If you happen to be referring... 850 01:03:24,201 --> 01:03:26,637 to Sir Roger Haversham, 851 01:03:26,737 --> 01:03:30,107 for 20 years I've been in his trusted employ... 852 01:03:30,207 --> 01:03:32,943 and never once have I caught a glimpse of him... 853 01:03:33,044 --> 01:03:35,212 on dress rehearsal day. 854 01:03:37,782 --> 01:03:40,251 It's the shrapnel. Oh! 855 01:03:40,418 --> 01:03:42,453 It sort of makes the trotters a bit wobbly. 856 01:03:42,553 --> 01:03:46,624 Are you sure about yesterday? I know sometimes it's kind of hard to remember. 857 01:03:46,724 --> 01:03:49,493 I mean, couldn't Sir Roger have maybe come to the theater? 858 01:03:49,593 --> 01:03:51,629 - Are you calling me a liar? - No, sir. 859 01:03:51,729 --> 01:03:54,065 - Saying I wasn't at my post of duty? - No, sir. 860 01:03:54,165 --> 01:03:57,702 With Monty I was, at El Alamein. That's where I caught mine. 861 01:03:57,802 --> 01:04:01,272 Mr. Fenwick, could we maybe go to someplace more dry? 862 01:04:01,372 --> 01:04:05,142 Someplace where we could sit and talk. I mean, I don't have an umbrella either. 863 01:04:05,242 --> 01:04:07,411 You know something? Josser nabbed it. 864 01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:09,914 My brolly. Right up there at the pub. 865 01:04:10,014 --> 01:04:11,382 And, you know, 866 01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:14,985 it's the young ones what does it... 867 01:04:15,086 --> 01:04:17,955 the ones with the long hair. 868 01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:20,491 As I was saying to Mr. Frame, 869 01:04:21,192 --> 01:04:23,227 there's no honor left in this evil world. 870 01:04:23,327 --> 01:04:25,863 You were saying to who? To Mr.... 871 01:04:25,963 --> 01:04:30,368 Frame. Mr. Nicholas Frame. The great actor. 872 01:04:30,634 --> 01:04:33,504 Oh, a finer gentleman never breathed. 873 01:04:33,704 --> 01:04:37,908 And y-you know... You know, he took the time to buy me a couple of pints. 874 01:04:38,008 --> 01:04:40,544 He did. And for all of them too. 875 01:04:40,644 --> 01:04:43,080 Right there in the public section. 876 01:04:43,814 --> 01:04:47,585 You mean Mr. Frame was just now in that same pub? 877 01:04:47,818 --> 01:04:49,053 Yes. 878 01:05:58,389 --> 01:06:01,225 Miss Stanhope, Mr. Frame. Come in. 879 01:06:01,325 --> 01:06:02,960 Tanner, I was afraid you'd gone off to bed. 880 01:06:03,060 --> 01:06:06,330 No. Mr. Durk thought it'd be better for me to stay in the main house tonight. 881 01:06:06,430 --> 01:06:08,899 Of course. Of course. We don't want any more robberies. 882 01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:12,403 But you know what, Tanner? I got to thinking. We never looked in the sunroom. 883 01:06:12,570 --> 01:06:15,506 Roger was always putting things in that, uh, little mahogany desk. 884 01:06:15,606 --> 01:06:19,443 Excuse me, sir, but Mr. Durk did say he didn't want anything else touched. 885 01:06:19,543 --> 01:06:21,445 Oh, no, no, no. Just have a look. That's all. 886 01:06:21,545 --> 01:06:24,982 - And if the Irving is there, um... - Be right back, darling. 887 01:06:25,082 --> 01:06:27,751 Well, now that you're here, for heaven's sakes, find it. 888 01:06:57,581 --> 01:07:00,718 I am sorry, Tanner. I apologize. 889 01:07:00,818 --> 01:07:02,586 I... I just had to know. 890 01:07:03,554 --> 01:07:06,457 You were right, Lilly. Still no Irving. 891 01:07:07,825 --> 01:07:09,894 Isn't that typical of my brainy husband? 892 01:07:09,994 --> 01:07:12,530 Driving all this way out here, all this distance... 893 01:07:12,630 --> 01:07:14,732 I'll crawl all the way back... hands and knees. 894 01:07:14,832 --> 01:07:18,035 I want a drink. Uh, Tanner, do you suppose we could? 895 01:07:18,202 --> 01:07:19,537 Of course, madam. 896 01:07:19,637 --> 01:07:20,838 No, it's too late. Now come on. Let's go. 897 01:07:20,938 --> 01:07:23,807 Nick, there's something I'd like to find here. 898 01:07:23,908 --> 01:07:25,976 Something of Roger's that I always loved. 899 01:07:26,176 --> 01:07:28,712 I'm sorry, madam, but the police were rather explicit. 900 01:07:28,812 --> 01:07:30,381 Oh, hang the police. 901 01:07:30,748 --> 01:07:33,284 I-It's just that silly old tweed hat he always wore. 902 01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:36,387 You know the one with the feather in it? I'd love to have it. 903 01:07:36,587 --> 01:07:38,989 Nick, it must be in a closet somewhere. 904 01:07:42,459 --> 01:07:45,396 - You want me to get it? - Tanner, didn't he keep it in the closet? 905 01:07:45,496 --> 01:07:49,266 - Yes, madam. It was kept... - It does seem a bit ghoulish, dear, but... 906 01:07:49,366 --> 01:07:51,135 Yes, it's not there now, sir. 907 01:07:51,235 --> 01:07:56,407 The Wax Museum picked it up this morning, along with his cape and umbrella. 908 01:07:56,507 --> 01:07:57,374 Who? 909 01:07:57,608 --> 01:08:00,511 The Wax Museum. They're using it, I am told, in their new exhibit, 910 01:08:00,611 --> 01:08:04,348 alongside your wax figures as Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. 911 01:08:04,481 --> 01:08:08,018 I must say I thought it rather an honor for the late master to be included. 912 01:08:08,185 --> 01:08:11,188 Oh, yes, yes, yes. Roger would be pleased. 913 01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,990 The Wax Museum? 914 01:08:13,757 --> 01:08:16,627 The things some people will do to sell tickets. 915 01:08:16,727 --> 01:08:19,363 And do you mean to say you let them walk out of here with... 916 01:08:19,463 --> 01:08:22,766 Actually, madam, it was the downstairs maid who saw the gentlemen. 917 01:08:23,133 --> 01:08:26,036 This was before Mr. Durk came, of course. 918 01:08:26,136 --> 01:08:29,440 But I must say I really saw nothing wrong about it. 919 01:08:29,607 --> 01:08:34,645 Of course. We must all be willing to share his memory with the public. 920 01:08:34,745 --> 01:08:38,315 Yes, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm... I'm being selfish. 921 01:08:38,515 --> 01:08:41,685 I think it's just lovely that now the whole world... 922 01:08:41,785 --> 01:08:44,955 will be able to see... everything. 923 01:09:53,924 --> 01:09:55,492 Oh, dear. 924 01:09:56,427 --> 01:09:59,096 Hi, Mr. Tanner. Look, I'm sure sorry if I got you out of bed, 925 01:09:59,196 --> 01:10:01,265 but at least it doesn't look like you were asleep. 926 01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:04,134 - Do you mind if I come in? - Seems to me you are in. 927 01:10:04,234 --> 01:10:07,271 Well, look. It's just a little thing I wanted to ask you about. 928 01:10:07,371 --> 01:10:10,541 It's unimportant, but, well, it's about an umbrella. 929 01:10:10,641 --> 01:10:12,042 An umbrella? 930 01:10:13,210 --> 01:10:14,445 Come with me. 931 01:10:32,162 --> 01:10:33,664 Come along, love. 932 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,682 Smells like the Roman catacombs. 933 01:10:51,782 --> 01:10:53,550 A storeroom, I think. I was here before. 934 01:10:53,650 --> 01:10:56,019 They keep all the things for each exhibit in a big box. 935 01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,689 Jolly. Just like a treasure hunt. 936 01:10:58,789 --> 01:11:01,992 If we don't get Roger's umbrella back where it belongs and get Joe's out... 937 01:11:02,092 --> 01:11:04,128 You don't have to rub it in. It wasn't my fault. 938 01:11:05,395 --> 01:11:08,932 Oh, Nicky, look. Aren't they marvelous? 939 01:11:09,433 --> 01:11:11,335 I've always wanted to be in a horror film. 940 01:11:11,435 --> 01:11:13,937 - Well, you certainly qualify. - Thanks. 941 01:11:14,037 --> 01:11:15,739 Oh. Over here. 942 01:11:25,849 --> 01:11:27,651 Sorry, Roger. 943 01:11:59,483 --> 01:12:00,784 Ah. Here you are, sir. 944 01:12:00,884 --> 01:12:04,388 Did Sergeant O'Keefe explain what this American wanted? 945 01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:07,191 - Yes, I got the message. - Jones here is unlocking for us, sir. 946 01:12:07,291 --> 01:12:09,760 Jones, you say. Well, I hope we're not wasting his time. 947 01:12:10,561 --> 01:12:11,695 Uh... 948 01:12:14,264 --> 01:12:16,366 I just hope you don't think it's a waste of time, sir. 949 01:12:16,466 --> 01:12:19,937 Like I told your sergeant on the telephone, I know I shouldn't be interfering like this. 950 01:12:20,037 --> 01:12:24,508 Nonsense. You're our guest here. I invited you on the case myself. We're, uh... 951 01:12:24,608 --> 01:12:26,176 We're most fortunate to have your assistance. 952 01:12:26,276 --> 01:12:28,011 Thank you. Thank you very much, sir. 953 01:12:28,111 --> 01:12:29,813 'Cause, you see, it's been bothering me. 954 01:12:29,913 --> 01:12:32,616 Whoever arranged that little scene on the staircase... 955 01:12:32,716 --> 01:12:36,053 must have known that house pretty well... and Sir Roger's habits too. 956 01:12:36,153 --> 01:12:40,657 Gentlemen, um, see, this is where Sir Roger will go. 957 01:12:40,757 --> 01:12:42,492 Right next to the new Macbeth there. 958 01:12:42,593 --> 01:12:45,829 Will you come this way, gentlemen? All our storage is downstairs. 959 01:12:53,437 --> 01:12:55,339 When are you opening your exhibit? 960 01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:59,643 Oh, in a few days. And now that his death is a murder, we'll hurry it up. 961 01:12:59,743 --> 01:13:02,813 Naturally, you know, people do enjoy that sort of thing. 962 01:13:02,913 --> 01:13:05,983 - And over here... - Ruddy lifelike set of arms there. 963 01:13:06,083 --> 01:13:10,187 Uh, come over this way, because I think Sir Roger's things are in one of these baskets. 964 01:13:10,287 --> 01:13:14,958 I didn't think there was any harm, Mr. Durk, in letting them have, uh, Sir Roger's clothes. 965 01:13:15,058 --> 01:13:17,060 After all, he was famous for the way he dressed. 966 01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,329 Oh, good heavens. Look. Look. Look. 967 01:13:19,997 --> 01:13:21,665 Oh. Good heavens. 968 01:13:25,369 --> 01:13:26,970 That's not wax. 969 01:13:27,671 --> 01:13:30,874 Oh, yes, sir. We took it from a bust that was made last year. 970 01:13:31,241 --> 01:13:32,809 It's not a bad likeness. 971 01:13:32,910 --> 01:13:35,746 Oh, uh... Ah, yes. Here we are. 972 01:13:37,114 --> 01:13:39,783 Now then, exactly what is it you're looking for in here? 973 01:13:39,883 --> 01:13:41,351 - The umbrella, sir. - Oh, yeah. 974 01:13:41,451 --> 01:13:44,788 You see, I have this theory that it might be the wrong one. 975 01:13:44,888 --> 01:13:47,124 Otherwise, why would the stage doorman's be stolen? 976 01:13:47,224 --> 01:13:51,528 I mean, if the stage doorman's umbrella somehow got mixed up with Sir Roger's... 977 01:13:51,828 --> 01:13:55,866 Quite. Quite. We would know exactly where Sir Roger went last night. 978 01:13:56,066 --> 01:13:57,567 If indeed he went anywhere at all. 979 01:13:57,668 --> 01:14:00,737 - Ah. Here you are, sir. - Oh. Thank you. 980 01:14:00,837 --> 01:14:04,708 Mr. Tanner said that the maid might not have noticed a difference when they took the stuff out. 981 01:14:04,808 --> 01:14:07,277 Mr. Tanner, could you identify this? 982 01:14:07,377 --> 01:14:10,180 Oh, yes. That's it. That's it. Rosewood, you see. 983 01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:12,916 That was a gift from Lady Astor years ago. 984 01:14:13,016 --> 01:14:16,219 The... Yes, the engraving's a bit faded, 985 01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:19,289 and, of course, they've had the material changed time and again. 986 01:14:19,389 --> 01:14:21,558 No, no. You're wrong. You have to be wrong. 987 01:14:21,658 --> 01:14:24,928 It is Sir Roger's. I recognize it myself. 988 01:14:25,295 --> 01:14:26,663 No, that's impossible. 989 01:14:29,599 --> 01:14:31,768 Unless, of course, somebody... 990 01:14:35,672 --> 01:14:39,443 Mr. Tanner, who else has been asking you about umbrellas? 991 01:14:39,543 --> 01:14:42,546 Possibly just before I arrived at the house tonight. 992 01:14:42,980 --> 01:14:43,714 No one. 993 01:14:43,814 --> 01:14:45,916 - Are you certain? - Absolutely. 994 01:14:46,717 --> 01:14:48,452 I could have sworn... 995 01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:51,021 On my way up the house, 996 01:14:51,388 --> 01:14:54,958 my taxi was almost hit by one of those English sports cars. 997 01:14:55,225 --> 01:14:57,327 The same kind as Mr. Frame drives. 998 01:14:58,295 --> 01:15:01,798 We do have quite a number of English cars over here. 999 01:15:01,898 --> 01:15:05,002 And I suppose you can find dangerous drivers anywhere. 1000 01:15:05,669 --> 01:15:07,771 There's got to be an explanation. 1001 01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:10,707 - Somebody feel a draft? - A draft? 1002 01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:14,077 I think I feel a draft. Maybe there's a window open. 1003 01:15:14,411 --> 01:15:16,780 Maybe somebody got in here through a window. 1004 01:15:20,450 --> 01:15:23,387 - Is this the only window? - Oh, yes, sir. That's the only window. 1005 01:15:23,720 --> 01:15:26,023 - Hmm. - So your bird has flown. 1006 01:15:26,123 --> 01:15:29,292 - Hmm? What? - Your little theory, Columbo. 1007 01:15:30,093 --> 01:15:32,796 - Good Lord. Look at the time. - Wait. Please. 1008 01:15:34,231 --> 01:15:36,066 There has to be an explanation. 1009 01:15:36,166 --> 01:15:38,435 Oh, come, come, come, come. Don't be so distressed. 1010 01:15:38,535 --> 01:15:42,639 At least it's been amusing chasing an American wild goose for a change, eh? 1011 01:15:42,739 --> 01:15:43,707 Hmm? 1012 01:15:55,285 --> 01:15:56,920 "Astonishing," he says. 1013 01:15:57,421 --> 01:16:01,658 "One would never have guessed that this radiant ingenue of years past... 1014 01:16:01,758 --> 01:16:04,194 could deliver such power as Lady Macbeth... 1015 01:16:04,561 --> 01:16:07,631 almost as though she were born for the part." 1016 01:16:07,964 --> 01:16:10,734 - What's that? The Express? - Mmm. I love him. 1017 01:16:10,834 --> 01:16:15,338 "And as for Mr. Nicholas Frame's surprisingly eloquent interpretation... 1018 01:16:15,439 --> 01:16:19,443 of this Shakespearean tragedy, I think it's the best..." 1019 01:16:19,543 --> 01:16:21,278 Here. Let's trade. 1020 01:16:24,881 --> 01:16:28,018 Ah. Listen to this. "Regretfully, though, 1021 01:16:28,251 --> 01:16:32,355 Mr. Nicholas Frame's still glorious voice was in charge of the evening... 1022 01:16:32,656 --> 01:16:35,258 charging in various noble directions." 1023 01:16:35,358 --> 01:16:38,662 - I thought I'd hidden that one. - Coward. 1024 01:16:38,762 --> 01:16:41,398 Well, one out of 10, you know. That's not bad. 1025 01:16:42,132 --> 01:16:44,000 Oh, I'm lovely. I'm gorgeous. 1026 01:16:44,101 --> 01:16:47,270 I'm the greatest actress since Sarah Bernhardt. 1027 01:16:47,370 --> 01:16:50,574 Oh, darling. They actually liked us. 1028 01:16:50,674 --> 01:16:52,909 Success, Your Majesty. 1029 01:16:53,009 --> 01:16:55,545 Stark, raving success. 1030 01:16:58,582 --> 01:17:01,785 After all those years of those miserable second leads. 1031 01:17:02,085 --> 01:17:04,454 Now nothing can stop us, can it? 1032 01:17:04,788 --> 01:17:10,360 And no one will ever be able to prove that we were within miles of Roger... 1033 01:17:10,894 --> 01:17:13,497 Listen. More cables and telegrams. 1034 01:17:13,597 --> 01:17:15,665 Go on. Answer it. Answer it. 1035 01:17:30,847 --> 01:17:31,882 Tanner. 1036 01:17:31,982 --> 01:17:35,118 Good morning, sir. I hope I'm not too early. 1037 01:17:35,252 --> 01:17:39,489 Excuse me. Uh, I happened to notice the Guardian just reached the newsstands. 1038 01:17:39,589 --> 01:17:42,359 I thought perhaps you'd like to, uh, glance at it. 1039 01:17:42,459 --> 01:17:45,061 Oh. That's... That's very thoughtful of you. 1040 01:17:45,162 --> 01:17:48,665 Gives us quite a rave, sir. I'm delighted to read that, up to now, 1041 01:17:48,765 --> 01:17:53,436 uh, you've only received one, shall we say, inadequate notice. 1042 01:17:53,537 --> 01:17:54,905 Oh, but that was... 1043 01:17:55,005 --> 01:17:56,940 - What's this? - Croissants, sir. 1044 01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:58,942 Nick, what is it? Oh. 1045 01:17:59,075 --> 01:18:01,811 Oh, good morning, madam. I brought you some croissants. 1046 01:18:01,912 --> 01:18:04,848 Fresh from that nice old dairy on the corner of your street. 1047 01:18:04,948 --> 01:18:06,816 I thought that after your triumph last night, 1048 01:18:06,917 --> 01:18:09,819 the least I could do was to serve you breakfast in bed. 1049 01:18:09,920 --> 01:18:11,121 Tanner, what the devil... 1050 01:18:11,221 --> 01:18:14,057 I'm afraid I won't be able to stay very long today. 1051 01:18:14,157 --> 01:18:18,295 When someone in my position suffers a tragic loss, madam, 1052 01:18:18,395 --> 01:18:20,597 one has to think of one's future employment. 1053 01:18:20,697 --> 01:18:21,965 But we already have a maid. 1054 01:18:22,065 --> 01:18:25,902 Hmm. Scarcely adequate for persons of your station. 1055 01:18:26,002 --> 01:18:28,205 - Wouldn't you say? - Uh, now, now. See here. 1056 01:18:28,305 --> 01:18:31,708 Tanner, was it you, by any chance, who happened to notice my husband... 1057 01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:34,077 buying tickets to Covent Garden the other day... 1058 01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:35,946 and told Sir Roger about it? 1059 01:18:36,046 --> 01:18:37,814 Oh, very regrettable. 1060 01:18:37,914 --> 01:18:41,718 But, uh, loyalty to one's master. 1061 01:18:42,018 --> 01:18:46,156 - Filthy snoop. - I told you it wasn't Miss Dudley. 1062 01:18:46,256 --> 01:18:48,858 - Throw him out of here. - Madam, please, please. 1063 01:18:48,959 --> 01:18:54,164 You know, Sir Roger was beginning to show signs of distrust... 1064 01:18:54,264 --> 01:18:56,399 with regard to your amorous interest in him. 1065 01:18:56,499 --> 01:18:58,635 But be rest assured, both of you, 1066 01:18:58,735 --> 01:19:02,372 that in your employ my loyalty will be doubly great. 1067 01:19:04,874 --> 01:19:06,910 I take it that's the kitchen in there. 1068 01:19:07,010 --> 01:19:09,412 - Nick! - Wait. Uh, Tanner. 1069 01:19:09,679 --> 01:19:12,082 - Yes. - What else? 1070 01:19:12,415 --> 01:19:14,584 Let me think. Oh, yes. Uh, 1071 01:19:14,684 --> 01:19:18,788 it might interest you to know that your concern about a certain umbrella... 1072 01:19:19,122 --> 01:19:21,358 hasn't been mentioned to a single soul. 1073 01:19:22,025 --> 01:19:24,361 But I do hope that certain other umbrellas... 1074 01:19:24,461 --> 01:19:27,364 have been properly disposed of in the river by now. 1075 01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:29,399 Tanner, 1076 01:19:29,799 --> 01:19:33,403 what sort of wages would you expect, working for us? 1077 01:19:33,637 --> 01:19:38,742 Oh, madam. Don't let's talk about that until after breakfast. 1078 01:19:47,617 --> 01:19:51,521 Holmes. Sherlock Holmes was, I suppose, our most famous detective. 1079 01:19:51,621 --> 01:19:55,325 But I'm sure you noticed on your visit to our new file section at the Yard... 1080 01:19:55,425 --> 01:19:57,360 why he wouldn't even qualify these days. 1081 01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,596 No, no. In our modern police... 1082 01:20:04,768 --> 01:20:07,771 Those fish-and-chips are greasy, but they're sure good. 1083 01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,907 - What were you saying, sir? - Uh, special section. 1084 01:20:11,007 --> 01:20:12,609 Well, as you've only a couple of days here, 1085 01:20:12,709 --> 01:20:16,279 I expect you'd like to see how we handle some of our larger cases. 1086 01:20:16,379 --> 01:20:20,750 I think I can lay that on for you. As a matter of fact, we had a very interesting case... 1087 01:20:20,950 --> 01:20:22,585 That's Big Ben, isn't it? 1088 01:20:23,420 --> 01:20:24,087 Yes. 1089 01:20:32,195 --> 01:20:35,799 Boy, that's terrific. A thing that old, and it's only a minute slow. 1090 01:20:35,899 --> 01:20:39,169 Really? We must put another penny on the governor. 1091 01:20:46,176 --> 01:20:48,078 - Did you get petrol? - Yes, of course I got petrol. 1092 01:20:48,178 --> 01:20:49,679 Now, watch it, darling. 1093 01:20:53,350 --> 01:20:55,285 There. Take these. 1094 01:20:56,386 --> 01:20:58,688 - Is there any air in these tires? - Oh. 1095 01:20:58,788 --> 01:21:01,057 Tie that tightly. 1096 01:21:01,157 --> 01:21:03,159 Nicky, supposing you had a flat tire. 1097 01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:05,695 Of course there's air. 1098 01:21:05,795 --> 01:21:08,832 - Listen. We've gotta hurry. - Uh, no, I know. We do. 1099 01:21:08,932 --> 01:21:11,801 "This deed I'll do before this purpose cools." 1100 01:21:11,901 --> 01:21:13,870 And stop acting. 1101 01:21:15,004 --> 01:21:16,139 Lilly. 1102 01:21:17,040 --> 01:21:19,542 D-D-Do we really have to do this? 1103 01:21:19,743 --> 01:21:22,278 Nick, we've been through all that before. 1104 01:21:22,379 --> 01:21:24,180 What else can we do? 1105 01:21:27,784 --> 01:21:31,521 Lilly, if we get out there too early, 1106 01:21:31,621 --> 01:21:33,456 the police might still be there. 1107 01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:35,024 But that's what the bicycle is for... 1108 01:21:35,125 --> 01:21:38,862 so that you can ride in the back way, and no one will notice you. 1109 01:21:38,962 --> 01:21:41,097 I haven't ridden a bicycle for 10 years. 1110 01:21:41,197 --> 01:21:43,600 You can't start practicing now. 1111 01:21:44,567 --> 01:21:45,702 Besides, 1112 01:21:49,038 --> 01:21:51,274 Tanner says there won't be any police there... 1113 01:21:51,374 --> 01:21:53,543 because they haven't started doing an inventory yet. 1114 01:21:53,643 --> 01:21:55,845 They have to wait for... for an expert from Oxford. 1115 01:21:55,945 --> 01:21:59,416 Ah, yes. What would we have done without Tanner, huh? 1116 01:21:59,516 --> 01:22:01,618 Good old, faithful Tanner. 1117 01:22:02,318 --> 01:22:04,521 - "I knew him well!" - You're off again. 1118 01:22:04,621 --> 01:22:06,322 Ah, yah. 1119 01:22:33,616 --> 01:22:35,218 Ah. There you are. 1120 01:22:35,318 --> 01:22:37,520 Frame. This your bicycle? 1121 01:22:37,620 --> 01:22:40,123 Yes. I, uh... I had a flat up the road. 1122 01:22:40,223 --> 01:22:41,157 A farmer's fixing it for me, 1123 01:22:41,257 --> 01:22:44,494 so I borrowed this from, uh, his kid and came in the back way. 1124 01:22:44,861 --> 01:22:45,895 What have we got here? 1125 01:22:45,995 --> 01:22:50,133 The books, sir. I'm going to post them to our numbered box as we arranged. 1126 01:22:50,233 --> 01:22:52,735 - I just want to have a look. That's all. - You know, sir... excuse me saying so... 1127 01:22:52,836 --> 01:22:56,840 But I am rather concerned about removing any more books. 1128 01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,275 Oh. Oh, nonsense, Tanner. 1129 01:22:59,375 --> 01:23:01,544 We're all in this together now, aren't we? 1130 01:23:01,644 --> 01:23:04,781 Can't very well pay you suitable wages without the wherewithal. 1131 01:23:04,881 --> 01:23:08,985 I see. And, of course, it would make it look more like a robbery, wouldn't it? 1132 01:23:09,085 --> 01:23:11,321 - After you, sir. - Get in there! 1133 01:23:21,998 --> 01:23:23,633 Mr. Tanner. 1134 01:23:28,171 --> 01:23:30,707 Mr. Tanner, where are you, sir? 1135 01:23:31,808 --> 01:23:34,110 I've been trying to phone you from the house. 1136 01:23:56,966 --> 01:23:58,067 Lieutenant. 1137 01:23:59,269 --> 01:24:00,403 Lieutenant. 1138 01:24:02,772 --> 01:24:04,040 Good news, sir. 1139 01:24:05,542 --> 01:24:07,010 We found something pretty important. 1140 01:24:07,210 --> 01:24:09,512 You did? I knew you would, because I just... 1141 01:24:09,612 --> 01:24:12,348 I couldn't believe the stupid stuff in the newspaper. 1142 01:24:12,448 --> 01:24:14,717 Your suitcase, sir. I've got it in the car. 1143 01:24:14,918 --> 01:24:17,253 - Just in the nick of time, eh? - Mr. O'Keefe... 1144 01:24:17,353 --> 01:24:19,489 Well, we'd better be getting to the airport pretty quick, sir. 1145 01:24:19,589 --> 01:24:20,924 Tell me something. 1146 01:24:21,024 --> 01:24:24,227 It says here the butler did it. Chief Superintendent Durk... 1147 01:24:24,494 --> 01:24:28,531 Does he really believe that Mr. Tanner killed Sir Roger, panicked and then killed himself? 1148 01:24:29,065 --> 01:24:30,633 Uh, there was some evidence. 1149 01:24:30,733 --> 01:24:33,469 I mean, the butler had quite a little cache of Sir Roger's best books... 1150 01:24:33,570 --> 01:24:36,739 including the Irving... stashed away beneath the floorboards. 1151 01:24:36,839 --> 01:24:38,741 Must be worth... close to half a million... 1152 01:24:38,841 --> 01:24:42,111 - I know, but... - As to what the papers guess at... 1153 01:24:42,211 --> 01:24:44,380 and what Durk really thinks... 1154 01:24:45,682 --> 01:24:47,750 He's not much to live with today. I can tell you that, sir. 1155 01:24:48,985 --> 01:24:52,822 You know, I keep thinking to myself, if I had stayed out of his hair, 1156 01:24:52,922 --> 01:24:55,358 if maybe I hadn't come up with my theory and butted in... 1157 01:24:55,458 --> 01:24:56,926 Oh, no, no, no, no. 1158 01:24:57,026 --> 01:25:00,797 No blame, sir. No. Well, he told you so himself when he said good-bye. 1159 01:25:00,930 --> 01:25:04,867 - It's not your fault there are no clues. - And all we needed was one little one. 1160 01:25:04,968 --> 01:25:07,904 Like where Sir Roger was that one night. 1161 01:25:08,071 --> 01:25:12,075 Well, as I always say to the missus, sir, a policeman's lot is not an happy one. 1162 01:25:12,475 --> 01:25:13,543 Yeah. 1163 01:25:15,211 --> 01:25:17,780 You know, I bet I've read this thing a hundred... 1164 01:25:19,983 --> 01:25:21,651 Didn't read that part. 1165 01:25:23,653 --> 01:25:27,957 That exhibit at the London Wax Museum is opening this afternoon. Would you take me? 1166 01:25:30,660 --> 01:25:32,662 Now, we gotta call Mr. Durk, ask him to meet us there. 1167 01:25:32,762 --> 01:25:34,897 Oh, and I want to buy something... an umbrella. 1168 01:26:32,055 --> 01:26:35,124 All those sweet people. They're just lovely people. 1169 01:26:35,224 --> 01:26:38,161 Uh, my name is Jones, Miss Stanhope and Mr. Frame. 1170 01:26:38,261 --> 01:26:40,797 - Uh, perhaps you remember me. - Of course. Of course. 1171 01:26:40,897 --> 01:26:43,099 We got your message, hurried over as quickly as we could. 1172 01:26:43,199 --> 01:26:45,668 Aren't you a little late with the opening? They'll break down the door. 1173 01:26:45,768 --> 01:26:47,003 Yes. A bit, but... 1174 01:26:47,103 --> 01:26:50,073 Oh, look! Drapes and everything. 1175 01:26:51,240 --> 01:26:54,177 Oh, what's the idea, Jones? You going to have a regular unveiling? 1176 01:26:54,277 --> 01:26:56,746 Oh, yes, sir. In a manner of speaking. 1177 01:26:56,846 --> 01:26:59,749 I thought it might be something like that, so on the way over I made some notes. 1178 01:26:59,849 --> 01:27:03,686 - I'll be glad to say a few words. - Oh, thank you. Thank you very much, sir. 1179 01:27:03,786 --> 01:27:05,321 Uh, excuse me. 1180 01:27:16,065 --> 01:27:18,601 - They here yet, Jones? - Yes, sir. They just arrived. 1181 01:27:30,246 --> 01:27:33,516 That's Mr. Durk's car, sir. He's beaten us to it. 1182 01:27:34,717 --> 01:27:36,152 Good luck, Lieutenant. 1183 01:27:47,864 --> 01:27:49,565 Where the devil is... 1184 01:27:50,366 --> 01:27:51,501 Columbo? 1185 01:27:58,040 --> 01:28:00,042 Boy, a lot of people here. 1186 01:28:09,185 --> 01:28:10,887 Why, Mr. Durk. 1187 01:28:10,987 --> 01:28:13,623 - Miss Stanhope, Mr. Frame. - Oh, and, Lieutenant. 1188 01:28:13,856 --> 01:28:15,792 You're beginning to look exactly like a Londoner. 1189 01:28:16,325 --> 01:28:19,128 Oh, you mean this. No, no, ma'am. I just bought this. 1190 01:28:19,228 --> 01:28:21,931 You see, ever since I've been in London, I've been thinkin' and thinkin', 1191 01:28:22,031 --> 01:28:24,767 what would be the best souvenir to bring back to Los Angeles? 1192 01:28:24,867 --> 01:28:28,237 - I thought you'd be on your way home by now. - Right. But I sort of missed the plane. 1193 01:28:28,337 --> 01:28:31,107 Anyway, it suddenly struck me... an umbrella. 1194 01:28:32,341 --> 01:28:35,478 Mr. Jones, did someone ask you to invite us here? 1195 01:28:35,878 --> 01:28:37,580 What are those curtains doing there? 1196 01:28:37,680 --> 01:28:39,515 I thought we were going to get to see an exhibit. 1197 01:28:39,615 --> 01:28:41,250 - Jones. - Oh, yes. 1198 01:28:41,951 --> 01:28:43,386 Yes. I'm dying to see it. 1199 01:28:43,486 --> 01:28:46,556 After all that silly business we had modeling for it. 1200 01:28:50,293 --> 01:28:51,761 There you are, sir. 1201 01:28:54,463 --> 01:28:55,464 Quite remarkable. 1202 01:28:55,565 --> 01:28:58,734 - Yes, it is. - Do I really look like that? 1203 01:28:58,835 --> 01:29:02,505 Marvelous. Let me tell you. I don't want to repeat myself, 1204 01:29:02,605 --> 01:29:05,675 but the other night when I saw that performance that you two... 1205 01:29:05,775 --> 01:29:08,177 Durk, will you please explain what we're doing here? 1206 01:29:08,277 --> 01:29:09,979 Why don't you ask the tour guide? 1207 01:29:10,079 --> 01:29:11,981 What about the other one? Isn't Mr. Haversham ready? 1208 01:29:12,114 --> 01:29:13,349 Oh, yes. Yes. 1209 01:29:13,716 --> 01:29:16,686 I'm sure you want to see this too. It's part of the exhibit. 1210 01:29:18,955 --> 01:29:22,458 Look at that. Boy, isn't that something. 1211 01:29:23,426 --> 01:29:25,294 Of course, I didn't know him the way you folks did. 1212 01:29:25,394 --> 01:29:27,396 I guess you were closer to him than anybody. 1213 01:29:27,496 --> 01:29:28,865 Poor Roger. 1214 01:29:31,234 --> 01:29:33,035 Kind of shakes ya, doesn't it? 1215 01:29:34,237 --> 01:29:37,039 Do you know, they have stuff in the chamber of horrors here... 1216 01:29:37,139 --> 01:29:39,275 that actually makes my skin crawl? 1217 01:29:39,375 --> 01:29:42,411 I think it's disgusting... putting him on display. 1218 01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:45,248 Oh, listen. I know how you must feel. 1219 01:29:45,514 --> 01:29:47,250 And I sympathize with ya. 1220 01:29:47,350 --> 01:29:50,086 But somebody's been murdered. And you know what they tell me? 1221 01:29:50,186 --> 01:29:53,089 They tell me folks around here kind of enjoy that sort of thing. 1222 01:29:53,189 --> 01:29:55,958 You want to bet they hang up a figure of Mr. Tanner too? 1223 01:29:56,058 --> 01:29:58,961 Most people, Columbo, have frightful taste. 1224 01:29:59,061 --> 01:30:00,763 Yourself included. 1225 01:30:00,997 --> 01:30:03,266 Now you'll have to excuse us. Come along, Lilly. 1226 01:30:03,900 --> 01:30:05,201 Not just yet, sir. 1227 01:30:05,301 --> 01:30:07,637 If you think we're going to play some sort of charade with this ridiculous... 1228 01:30:07,737 --> 01:30:09,438 Gee, Mr. Frame, I'm always getting you angry. 1229 01:30:09,538 --> 01:30:12,308 I'm sorry about that. It must be my accent or something. 1230 01:30:12,408 --> 01:30:16,012 But I wanted you here because I wanted you to help me prove something. 1231 01:30:16,112 --> 01:30:18,948 Um, I think I'll get rid of this. 1232 01:30:21,717 --> 01:30:24,453 I don't think Mr. Tanner killed anybody like the newspapers are saying. 1233 01:30:25,354 --> 01:30:26,822 I think it was you. 1234 01:30:31,994 --> 01:30:35,331 Oh, Lieutenant. Just when I was beginning to like you. 1235 01:30:36,899 --> 01:30:40,036 This is going to sound silly, but Sir Roger... 1236 01:30:41,304 --> 01:30:44,674 He was killed someplace else, and his body was moved later on. 1237 01:30:44,774 --> 01:30:48,344 And if I can only prove where it was that he drove that night... 1238 01:30:49,078 --> 01:30:52,281 prove who it was that he went to see... 1239 01:30:52,515 --> 01:30:54,583 then everything will start falling into place. 1240 01:30:54,684 --> 01:30:57,320 Well, he did not come to see us. Now, how many times... 1241 01:30:57,420 --> 01:31:00,022 No, sir. Not to your dressing room in the theater. 1242 01:31:00,556 --> 01:31:02,124 It was to yours. 1243 01:31:04,961 --> 01:31:06,562 That's where the umbrellas come in. 1244 01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:09,231 I guess umbrellas are the kind of thing that I can understand. 1245 01:31:09,332 --> 01:31:11,000 You know, I've been watching people... 1246 01:31:11,100 --> 01:31:14,603 to see what they do with umbrellas when they come in out of the rain. 1247 01:31:15,805 --> 01:31:17,373 They close the umbrella, 1248 01:31:18,741 --> 01:31:20,543 they give it a shake like this, 1249 01:31:20,643 --> 01:31:23,079 and they find someplace to lean it against. 1250 01:31:23,279 --> 01:31:24,347 But... 1251 01:31:25,047 --> 01:31:28,718 they never fasten this strap because then it won't dry properly. 1252 01:31:29,018 --> 01:31:31,787 - Fascinating. - There's only one problem with that. 1253 01:31:32,188 --> 01:31:34,690 Sometimes things drop in. 1254 01:31:35,958 --> 01:31:37,460 Almost anything can drop in. 1255 01:31:41,430 --> 01:31:43,099 So I got to thinking... 1256 01:31:43,199 --> 01:31:46,402 if maybe that's what Sir Roger did with his umbrella, 1257 01:31:47,036 --> 01:31:50,172 and something dropped into it... that night, 1258 01:31:52,408 --> 01:31:54,343 well, then maybe, uh... 1259 01:31:54,677 --> 01:31:56,412 I got these things here somewhere. 1260 01:31:56,512 --> 01:31:58,114 Just give me a moment, would ya? 1261 01:31:59,482 --> 01:32:01,350 Oh. Forgive me. 1262 01:32:02,485 --> 01:32:03,819 Amazing likeness, isn't it? 1263 01:32:08,224 --> 01:32:10,326 Where was I? Oh, yes. 1264 01:32:13,229 --> 01:32:16,465 Ma'am, the other night, I stepped on a pearl in your dressing room. 1265 01:32:16,565 --> 01:32:20,403 I have some more just like it. I got it from your costumer. She says she makes them. 1266 01:32:20,703 --> 01:32:21,370 Oh, yes. 1267 01:32:22,104 --> 01:32:26,008 Well, maybe, if the necklace was broken in a fight like you said... 1268 01:32:26,108 --> 01:32:28,944 But... But that... that was Nicky and I. 1269 01:32:30,279 --> 01:32:33,549 Uh, Jones, bring us that umbrella, would you? 1270 01:32:33,649 --> 01:32:34,316 Oh, yes. 1271 01:32:34,450 --> 01:32:35,418 Yes, sir. 1272 01:32:39,288 --> 01:32:41,023 Well, there's a chance... 1273 01:32:41,123 --> 01:32:44,193 a pretty good chance that if the fight was with Sir Roger... 1274 01:32:44,293 --> 01:32:45,895 No. No, it wasn't. 1275 01:32:45,995 --> 01:32:47,763 Well, there's no point speculating. 1276 01:32:47,863 --> 01:32:51,700 Mr. Jones. Could we move back just a little, give the gentleman room. 1277 01:32:51,801 --> 01:32:54,703 Mr. Jones, would you open the umbrella, sir? 1278 01:33:10,653 --> 01:33:13,956 Why, it's the same. Exactly the same. 1279 01:33:14,890 --> 01:33:15,591 Well, ma'am? 1280 01:33:17,960 --> 01:33:18,627 Sir? 1281 01:33:21,297 --> 01:33:22,298 "Sir." 1282 01:33:26,202 --> 01:33:27,303 "Sir." 1283 01:33:35,811 --> 01:33:37,546 "Tomorrow." 1284 01:33:40,683 --> 01:33:44,753 "Tomorrow... and tomorrow..." 1285 01:33:44,854 --> 01:33:46,288 Nicky, stop it. 1286 01:33:46,755 --> 01:33:49,792 He put it there. Can't you see? Before we came. 1287 01:33:49,892 --> 01:33:51,327 He put it there! 1288 01:33:51,660 --> 01:33:55,131 Uh, Jones, has anybody but you touched that umbrella? 1289 01:33:55,231 --> 01:33:57,566 No, sir. I'll testify to that. 1290 01:33:58,200 --> 01:34:00,236 He must have done it when we weren't looking. 1291 01:34:00,336 --> 01:34:02,304 Oh, Nicky, please! 1292 01:34:04,006 --> 01:34:06,275 He... He was mad. Don't you see? 1293 01:34:06,375 --> 01:34:08,911 - Yes, ma'am. - He... He didn't know what he was doing. 1294 01:34:09,411 --> 01:34:12,915 - I know he didn't, ma'am. - And Sir Roger... That was my fault. 1295 01:34:13,015 --> 01:34:16,385 - I understand. - It was an accident. I... I swear it! 1296 01:34:17,286 --> 01:34:18,921 Oh, Mr. Durk... 1297 01:34:19,989 --> 01:34:21,957 Don't be too hard on Nicky. 1298 01:34:22,057 --> 01:34:24,193 You must try to understand. 1299 01:34:24,927 --> 01:34:28,430 Yes, well, uh, I think we can settle all this at the Yard. 1300 01:34:28,531 --> 01:34:31,734 - Smythe, will, uh, you take over, eh? - Very good, sir. 1301 01:34:31,834 --> 01:34:33,836 "And fury." 1302 01:34:34,537 --> 01:34:38,307 "Tomorrow... and tomorrow..." 1303 01:35:14,143 --> 01:35:14,910 Thank you, Mr. Jones. 1304 01:35:15,010 --> 01:35:18,047 And now I believe you can replace the umbrella and open your doors. 1305 01:35:18,147 --> 01:35:20,015 Anything for the Yard, Mr. Durk. 1306 01:35:20,115 --> 01:35:22,451 It's been very, um, interesting. 1307 01:35:26,755 --> 01:35:29,225 - Ah. Bit of luck, eh? - Hmm? 1308 01:35:29,758 --> 01:35:31,694 How did you know that bead was in there? 1309 01:35:32,027 --> 01:35:34,129 Oh. Just the odds. 1310 01:35:34,230 --> 01:35:36,065 The odds were very poor, and you know it. 1311 01:35:36,165 --> 01:35:39,802 Come now. You can do better than that. Off the record, eh? 1312 01:35:40,236 --> 01:35:43,205 Well, Mr. Durk, when you were maybe in the third or fourth grade, 1313 01:35:43,305 --> 01:35:44,873 and there was a pretty redheaded girl in the front row, 1314 01:35:44,974 --> 01:35:47,943 and you couldn't get her attention, um... 1315 01:35:48,877 --> 01:35:50,112 Well, go on. 1316 01:35:51,513 --> 01:35:53,349 Just a little trick I learned. 1317 01:35:55,484 --> 01:35:57,653 Excuse me. Throat. 1318 01:35:58,520 --> 01:36:00,356 Amazing likeness. 1319 01:36:01,757 --> 01:36:02,791 By Jove. 1320 01:36:10,065 --> 01:36:11,033 Sir?