1 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,007 [ship thrusters humming] 2 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:15,189 MALORY: [sighs] Well, this is another fine mess. 3 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,625 Thanks to your idiot son. 4 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,627 You're as much to blame as he is. 5 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:19,889 Wha... How? 6 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,456 -Exactly. -Wait, what? 7 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,066 -You heard her! -Don't yell at her! 8 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,068 -Don't yell at her! -Don't yell at him! 9 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,548 -What are you doing? -I don't know! 10 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:27,897 Guys, come on! 11 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:29,725 I think we could all benefit from not yelling! 12 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:32,249 The only thing you'd benefit from is an EMP. 13 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:35,339 [gasps] Not even as a joke. 14 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,211 BARRY: Do I look like I'm joking? 15 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,082 I mean, honestly, it's hard to tell with you, 16 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,215 what with that robot face. 17 00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:43,347 [laughs] Well, I'm not joking. 18 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:44,566 I actually didn't think you were. 19 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,656 Because, meatbag, I don't think it's funny 20 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,875 when people steal from me. 21 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,268 What... Is that what this is about? 22 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,791 What'd you think it was about? 23 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,533 Again, hard to tell with you because of your... 24 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:58,232 Say "robot face" again, shitlick. 25 00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,798 -...delivery? -Oh. 26 00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,757 You're gonna talk to me about delivery, 27 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,498 after you stole my cargo? 28 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,282 I didn't steal it. I still have it. 29 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,719 -You... Where is it? -On the Seamus. 30 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,374 I was bringing it to you. Why do you think I'm here? 31 00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,376 Wha... Because I captured you? 32 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,509 -Potato, pobobot. -What? 33 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:16,815 Look, let me go back to the ship, I'll get the thing, 34 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,601 bring it back here, and everything's space-jake. 35 00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,168 -Wow. -Yeah. 36 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:22,952 You must think I'm pretty stupid. 37 00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:25,389 -Eh. -How 'bout you tell me where it is? 38 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,043 -In the safe. -Let me finish. 39 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,698 I send a couple of my guys to go get it, and... 40 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:32,222 -[soft chuckle] Well, send a couple you don't like, -Let me... 41 00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,311 because if they punch in the wrong combination, 42 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,271 they're gonna be eatinga 20-kiloton burrito for lunch. 43 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,534 -BOTH: Huh? -It's got a nuclear self-destruct. 44 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:43,059 Okay, so then how 'bout you tell me the right combination? 45 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,148 Well, because I feel like if I did, 46 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:48,369 I'd no longer be negotiating from a position of power. 47 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,197 You think you're in a position of power? 48 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,199 Eh... 49 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,505 M'kay. Well, I'm gonna go do this thing with... 50 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,551 well, toyour friends. 51 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:57,595 Tell 'em hey. 52 00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:58,857 And I'm while I'm gone, 53 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,251 I'd really like you to give some thought to 54 00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,339 telling me the combination. 55 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,385 I feel like I have thought about it. 56 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,604 Well, but you haven't met my buddy... 57 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,998 [heavy mechanical clunking] 58 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,395 ...Funbeak. 59 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,571 [screeches] 60 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,181 Jesus Hannibal Christ. 61 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,835 Right? [chuckles] 62 00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,315 Say hello, Funbeak. 63 00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:22,664 [voice glitching]: Hello, Fun-un-unbeak. 64 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,970 -[screeches] -[chuckles] 65 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,276 You kook. 66 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,235 [electricity clicking] 67 00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,280 [Archer theme playing] 68 00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,710 Okay, I'm looking around and I'm seeing 69 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,581 some pretty mopey faces. 70 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,453 Yeah, 'cause you're selling us into slavery 71 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:13,845 down in the spek mines. 72 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,500 -Wait, what? -Well, not all of you. 73 00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,285 -Come again? -PAM: Space phrasing. 74 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:19,895 Well, thanks to your buddy Bort, 75 00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:21,897 one of you has a chance to go free. 76 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,160 And, hell, I'll even throw in your ship. 77 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,161 -Come on. -Uh... -That is our ship. 78 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,510 First of all, that's my ship. 79 00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,469 -Halfyours. -Shut up. And... 80 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,514 And who knows? Maybe you'll win it back. 81 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,516 -Win it back how? -Oh, man. 82 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,866 I was hoping you'd ask that, 83 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:38,609 because this sets up my big reveal. 84 00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:41,482 -♪ Bum-bum-baa!♪ Ta-da! -[door whooshes open] 85 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,701 -PAM: Ah! -LANA: Jesus Space Christ. -CYRIL: Uh... okay. 86 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,399 [crowd cheering] 87 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,704 ♪ 88 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,056 [roars] 89 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,581 [grunting] 90 00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:09,901 PAM: Holy shit! 91 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,513 It's that dickhead Bort. 92 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:15,516 Hey. Hey, guys. 93 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:18,693 Whoever doesn't die, let's hang out after. 94 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:22,392 [crowd exclaims] 95 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,611 [grunts] 96 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,923 [crowd cheering] 97 00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,536 [chuckles] Pretty sweet reveal, huh? 98 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,973 Gladiator fights? Are you serious? 99 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,540 Maybe it is my delivery. 100 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,586 Yeah, Bort rented y'all for his birthday party. 101 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,371 -Rented? -Unless you die. 102 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,720 Well, then he's buying you. 103 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,548 Wait, have we done this before? 104 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,332 -Somebody has. -Right? [soft laugh] 105 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:51,378 Doesn't matter. Okay, so 106 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,989 while I go check in on Archer's torture sesh, 107 00:04:54,032 --> 00:04:55,686 y'all decide who's gonna fight who. 108 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,209 Actually, it's "whom." 109 00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,473 I said "whom." 110 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,170 Or not. I don't know. 111 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,780 Bee-boo-boop. 112 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,740 Hey, what do you guys think about my delivery? 113 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,394 Well, now what are we supposed to do? 114 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:09,483 I guess we got topick somebody to fight against. 115 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,615 Aw, man, I can't fight you guys. 116 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:12,964 I literally can't. 117 00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:14,488 According to the First Law of Robotics, 118 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,620 I'm not allowed to harm a human being. 119 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,579 -I pick Krieger. -Wha... No way! 120 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,232 -Yes way. -Cyril. 121 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,930 Shut your fat mouth! I get Krieger! 122 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,758 -Excuse me? -I... 123 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,369 No, I mean, come on. I called dibs. 124 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,763 -Well then, I get Ms. Archer. -Aw, man. 125 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,374 Well, as much as I'd like to see you idiots 126 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,420 stomp each other's heads in... 127 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,554 -Perhaps another time. -Ho-ho. 128 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,426 Where the hell do you think you're going? 129 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:42,167 To rescue Sterling and get off this rock. 130 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,779 Plus, there has to be a bar around here. 131 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,171 Oh, no you don't. 132 00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:47,521 -Whoop! -Ow! 133 00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,087 -[singsongy]: Toodles. -[laughing] 134 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:52,264 -Okay, I pick you. -Bring it. 135 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,528 Oh, I will. I'm bringing extra. 136 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:57,052 So, Cheryl and Lana, Cyril and me, 137 00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,880 and where does that leave Pam? 138 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,839 As the loneliest gal at the Monsters' Ball. 139 00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,667 -[chuckles] -[laughs]: Ooh! 140 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:05,669 [clears throat] Krieger, want to swap with me? 141 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,541 -Yep, yep, yep. -Wait, what? 142 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,544 [chuckles] Oh, man, this is gonna be so gross. 143 00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,588 [soft whimper] What is? 144 00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,068 Cleaning your nuts out 145 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,287 -from between my toes. -BOTH: Ew. 146 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,637 -[gulps] -Yeah. 147 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,421 You better gulp nervously. 148 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,770 Lana, do something. 149 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,990 Okay, okay. 150 00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:22,991 Me and Carol, 151 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,471 -Cyril and Krieger... -Yes. 152 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:27,256 Then those two winners fight, and then I guess 153 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:28,779 Pam gets that winner. 154 00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:31,086 Aw. We're all winners in my book. 155 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,567 And I guess just try to make your fights look real, 156 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:34,916 and maybe that'll buy us some time 157 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,831 to come up with a planto get out of this crazy place. 158 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,528 [Archer screaming] 159 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,791 [gasps] That's Sterling. 160 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,446 Come on, already! What are you, hourly? 161 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,883 -[ice clinking] -I am, actually. 162 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,929 [screaming] 163 00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:52,150 [panting] 164 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:53,500 Please don't do tha... [screaming] 165 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,591 [panting] Please. 166 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:58,896 I can't take any more. 167 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,898 But Funbeak has so much more to give. 168 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,900 -[grunts] -That was a joke. 169 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,337 Ha ha ha ha ha. 170 00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,731 Listen, listen... listen to me. 171 00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:10,342 You guys seriously have to work on your delivery. 172 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,476 Funbeak will try again. Did you hear the one 173 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,696 about the human with no penis? 174 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132 No. 175 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,395 Wait. Hang on. Funbeak messed it up. 176 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,311 Uh... hang on. Uh... o-okay. 177 00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:23,747 -So... -[electrical sputtering] 178 00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,576 [glass shatters] 179 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,711 -Duh. -FUNBEAK: Hey. 180 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,714 -Mother? -Sterling. Are you all right? 181 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,063 [soft chuckle] I'm not great. 182 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,326 Who are you and what are you doing? 183 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:40,982 Well, I was drinking a surprisingly good martini, 184 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,766 but now it seems I'll have to settle for 185 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:46,770 whipping the ass off of some robot cereal mascot. 186 00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,772 Funbeak will... 187 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,861 destroy you. 188 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,689 [screeches] 189 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:55,649 Bring it, bird. 190 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,215 [screeches] 191 00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,870 [laughs] Holy shit. 192 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:02,438 This is literally a dream come true. 193 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,745 Which, unfortunately, 194 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,486 turns super sexual. 195 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,536 [screeches] 196 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,625 ARCHER: Will you quit screwing around? 197 00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,671 MALORY'S VOICE: Oh, you're just jealous. 198 00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:19,586 That you zapped yourself into the CPU 199 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,457 of the world's ugliest bird? 200 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,764 You're crazy. I'm gorgeous. 201 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:24,808 -Will you... -[door whooshes open] 202 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:27,681 -How we doing, gang? -Oh, um, uh... 203 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,552 [robotic voice]:Subject is still uncooperative. 204 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,380 Well, are you zapping his dick like I told you? 205 00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:32,816 -Yes. -All right. 206 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,426 -Let me see. -As you wish. 207 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:35,689 Whoa, whoa, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no... 208 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,908 -[screaming] -[whoops] Yeah. 209 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,128 [chuckles] How 'bout it, bud? 210 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,652 Ready to tell me the combination to the safe? 211 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:45,786 [panting] No. 212 00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,788 All right. Well, I'm gonna go 213 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,181 watch his nutwipe buddies try to kill each other, so... 214 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,269 Wait, wait, wait. What? 215 00:08:51,313 --> 00:08:53,271 Yeah, gladiator fights. 216 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:56,231 Okay, Funbeak, keep it upwith the ol' weenie roast here. 217 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:59,843 Weenie roast-- that is a good one. LOL. 218 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,279 It was good. 219 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,803 And my delivery's fine. 220 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:03,630 [door whooshes open] 221 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:04,979 [door clanks shut] 222 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,155 Okay, now cut me out of here. 223 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,635 [normal voice]: First tell me what's in the safe. 224 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:09,940 In the what? Nothing. What are you... 225 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,856 I was just trying to buy some time. 226 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,858 Uh-huh. 227 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,165 Now let's go find the shuttle 228 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,601 and get the hell out of this dump. 229 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,863 Whoa, wait, what about the others? 230 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:23,388 Oh... they'll be fine. 231 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:24,781 Aah! 232 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,783 Cyril, no, no, no, no, no! 233 00:09:26,827 --> 00:09:29,090 ALL: Holy shit. 234 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,308 Ooh. 235 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:33,094 More like Isaac Assholimov, am I right? 236 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,704 I'm right. 237 00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:40,057 Oh, man. He's cut in half and still talking smack. 238 00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,842 Give it up for him. 239 00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,757 -[crowd boos] -Hey, shut up. 240 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,542 -Whose birthday is it? -[crowd cheers] 241 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,326 Bort's, exactly. 242 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:50,894 Okay, put your hands, tentacles, or cloacas together 243 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:54,768 for our next contestants, a couple of furious females, 244 00:09:54,811 --> 00:09:57,684 Carol and Lana! 245 00:09:57,727 --> 00:09:59,337 [cheering] 246 00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:00,556 -What'd I miss? -Oh, man. 247 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,818 That one dude cut that other dude-- 248 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,690 look at me-- literally in half. 249 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,518 [chuckles] Sweet. 250 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,738 ♪ 251 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:09,739 Good luck out there. 252 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,262 Yeah. She's gonna need it. 253 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,221 -Wait, what? -KRIEGER: Come on, man. 254 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,615 You're spilling all my robot milk. 255 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,926 Mother, there's way too many guards. 256 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,449 We need to go get the others. 257 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,016 What we need is a distraction. 258 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:29,019 -You could do your bird dance. -You're one to talk. 259 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,673 -How? -Exactly. 260 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,675 Wait a minute, this thing's got a radio. 261 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,938 -What if we called Ray? -Yeah, what if. 262 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,027 Well, couldn't he... do something? 263 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,463 I don't know. I mean, maybe, 264 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:39,856 if we could get him on the radio... 265 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,292 [big band music plays] 266 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:42,729 Mama's out in space. 267 00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,600 Mama's doing stuff. 268 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,864 Mama's eating cake. [munching] 269 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,953 ...and if he wasn't Ray. 270 00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,346 Probably eating all the cake. 271 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,130 So, come on, let's go get the others. 272 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,176 But if you leave Lana here, 273 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:58,309 you'll have the ship back all to yourself. 274 00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,572 Well, you'd still be there. 275 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,878 -Wh... -And Ray. 276 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,707 Uh. Such a fatty. 277 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,709 [munching] 278 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,755 And I don't want the ship bad enough 279 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:11,714 for Lana to actually, you know, die. 280 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,411 Who says she's gonna die? 281 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,544 You are gonna die! 282 00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,980 Wait, wait, what's going on? 283 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,635 Gladiators, on your marks... 284 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,854 Wait, wait, hang on. 285 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:21,855 Get set. 286 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,726 [yelling] 287 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,510 Whoa... 288 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:26,860 -Whoa! -Bitch! 289 00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:28,775 [grunts] 290 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,994 [cackling] 291 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:31,952 [grunts] 292 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,826 Oh, for the... Can you believe this? 293 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:37,871 [chuckles] Right? 294 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:38,915 I'm not gonna lie, 295 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:41,744 I've got my species' equivalentof a boner. 296 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:42,745 -Ugh. -Ew. 297 00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,529 Shut up. You can't smell it. 298 00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,357 Yes, we can. 299 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:48,446 [grunts] 300 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:51,014 Hi-yah! 301 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,668 [grunts] 302 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,670 -Berserker! -No! 303 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,889 No, what are you... No, no! 304 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:57,238 No, no, no! 305 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,066 [crowd exclaims] 306 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,374 I did not see that coming, ladies and gentlemen. 307 00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:06,943 I guess it's just anything go...Oh, my God! 308 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,165 [laughs] 309 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,427 -[gasps] -[grunts] 310 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,691 Oh, so you want to play for keeps? 311 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,781 -Oh, man, a full-on battle royale. -[Lana and Cheryl grunting] 312 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,871 -This may be the best birthday party ever. -CHERYL: Bitch! 313 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,655 Or, actually, maybe the third or fourth 314 00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:24,961 best birthday party ever. 315 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,267 [yells] 316 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,052 [grunting] 317 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,619 I've never had a birthday party. 318 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,186 -Well, and who would come? -Wha... 319 00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,448 What are you guys doing here? 320 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:34,971 I thought you died or ditched us. 321 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:38,409 -Oh, now, uh, nobody died. -Not yet. 322 00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,281 Holy space shit. 323 00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:41,673 [grunts] 324 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:43,980 [grunts] 325 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:47,854 Someone's gonna get hurt out there. 326 00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,029 You think? 327 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,422 He said "someone," not "something." 328 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,946 -Ugh. You know... -Krieger, shut up. 329 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,425 How are we gonna get those dickheads 330 00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,906 to stop fighting long enough for all of us to escape? 331 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,734 Hmm. [gasps] 332 00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,953 Ooh. 333 00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:02,999 Same height, similar build. 334 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,480 Oh come on, no, that's just... 335 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:07,874 Just crazy enough to work. [sniffs] 336 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,615 Ugh. And speaking of crazy, 337 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,052 what is that smell? 338 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:15,620 [sniffs] Oh, damn it. Did Pam have a boner in here? 339 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,057 Wha... You can smell them? 340 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,928 [stifled laugh] You-you can't? 341 00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,583 [sighs] 342 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,067 -♪ -[cheering] 343 00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,634 This wasn't the plan, you idiot! 344 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,723 Well, I wasn't paying attention! 345 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,203 PAM: Oh, yeah? 346 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,902 -No, no, no, no, no, no, no... -Well, how do you like these apples? 347 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,947 -[crack] -[groaning] 348 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,645 I do not like those apples. 349 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,647 [whoops] Thanks, Barry Six. 350 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:43,910 This is the best. 351 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,868 I mean, I know we're not friends or anything, 352 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,261 and I actually... I don't really 353 00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,480 have many friends, or any, really... 354 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,439 Yeah, you realize if they kill each other, 355 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,006 you got to pay for 'em. 356 00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,443 Totally worth it. [slurps] 357 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,706 Plus, I got a ton of birthday money. 358 00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:58,881 Thanks, Nana. 359 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,929 She used to be super hot. 360 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:05,061 Nope. 361 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:07,977 -Psst, hey, dummy. -[grunts] 362 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,892 Yeah, you-you ordered a teabagging? 363 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,851 [low grunt] 364 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,029 -[electrical cracking] -[body thuds] 365 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:17,944 What in God's name is a teabagging? 366 00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,902 [soft laugh] Oh... oh, come on. 367 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,296 -Like you don't know? -I'm sure I don't. 368 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:25,038 But I'll bet it's something disgusting. 369 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,169 Eh. 370 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,736 Now, will you go wrangle those idiots 371 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,303 so we can get the hell out of here? 372 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,174 Okay, go get Krieger ready to move. 373 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,959 Or we could leave him. 374 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,961 -Or you. -All right. 375 00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:36,614 Jesus. 376 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,616 So, hey, since he brought it up, 377 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,836 do you have any thoughts on teabagging? 378 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,099 [low snarling] 379 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,622 Uh, cool. 380 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:47,147 Uh, excuse me. 381 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,064 [cheering] 382 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:53,544 Are you even serious right now? 383 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,851 [panting] Seriously? 384 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,418 [yells] 385 00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,419 [laughs] 386 00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,725 Kooch, the undefeated champion, 387 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,858 is taking on four opponents at a time? 388 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:03,946 Did you do this? 389 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,122 A five-man bunkhouse stampede? 390 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,994 How and why would I? 391 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,865 Mm. Okay, folks, 392 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,562 let's make some noise for... 393 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,564 K-K-K-K-Kooch! 394 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,610 [yells] 395 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,093 -Is he serious? -[grunts] 396 00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,965 'Cause my toes only have room for so much nut-butter. 397 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,141 -BOTH: Ew. -Seriously. 398 00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,448 So-- temporary truce? 399 00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:29,232 Ugh. I guess. 400 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,800 [chuckles] Okay, dickbag. You ready to party? 401 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:34,020 [whispers]: No, wait, wait, wait. Guys, it's me... 402 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,021 -Archer? -What? 403 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,241 Hey, uh, what are they doing? 404 00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,113 Yeah, what are they doing? 405 00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,202 Don't stop. We got to act like we're fighting 406 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,420 while I tell you my plan. 407 00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,422 Well, what's the plan? 408 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,990 -We're gonna run for it. -Excuse me? 409 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,992 Well, first we get Krieger and Mother, 410 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,907 and then we're just gonna haul ass to the gig, 411 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,431 smashing and slashing anyone who gets in our... 412 00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:00,698 Oh. Oh, okay. 413 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,265 Yeah, I guess they're not acting suspicious. 414 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:05,225 And also: what?! 415 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,009 -Ow! -That's your plan? 416 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,837 I'm sorry. Did you have a... Ow! 417 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,187 Damn it, will you quit smashing me... Ow! 418 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,580 [laughing] 419 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:13,668 [laughs] 420 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,452 Goddamn... Ow! [grunts] 421 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,237 Wow. 422 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,848 Fame is a fickle mistress, huh? 423 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,720 Wait a minute, hang on. He's right. 424 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:23,808 -Huh? -Wait, what? 425 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,158 What other choice do we have? 426 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,421 If we stay here, we're as good as dead. 427 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,511 [groans] Which, serve you right,by the way. 428 00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:34,210 So, how do we even do this? 429 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,038 [yelling] 430 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,998 [all screaming] 431 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,870 [cheering] 432 00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:43,828 Yeah, see? I mean, just like that, 433 00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:44,829 they're cheering for the other guys, like... 434 00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,179 Wait a minute. 435 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,616 [all screaming] 436 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:51,619 No, no, no, no, no, that's Archer. 437 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,664 Move, Nana! 438 00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,101 Well, why do I have to carry him? 439 00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:57,103 -Because look at you. -Look at you. 440 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,713 Why are you a bird? 441 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,324 Why are you a rockslide with tits? 442 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:04,197 [sobbing] 443 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,328 Burn. 444 00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,764 -Ow. -Shut up. 445 00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,983 -Can we go? -Damn it. 446 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,898 It's my plan, I'm the group leader. 447 00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:10,942 [all exclaim] 448 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,858 [growling] 449 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:16,296 Archer! 450 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,514 And I say let's go! 451 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,038 [all yelling] 452 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,216 -[woman yelps] -[glass shatters] 453 00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:24,478 [growling] 454 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,262 Aah! Move! 455 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:31,354 [sighs] Still my fourth-best birthday. 456 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,182 Mm, third. 457 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,755 Mother! 458 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,193 Calm down. 459 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:47,283 Let's go. Let's go, come on. 460 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,329 Goddamn it, I'm the group leader. 461 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,505 Yeah, way to lead, buddy. 462 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:54,595 Archer! 463 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:59,339 Eat dicks, Barry Six. 464 00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,349 [sighs] 465 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,442 Friggin' Bort. 466 00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,580 [slurping, chewing] 467 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,415 [spoon clinking] 468 00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,747 [clears throat] So, uh, listen, uh, 469 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:01,357 I know things got a little heated down there, 470 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,316 and maybe we said and did some things 471 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,882 that we wish we could take back, 472 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:08,016 but I hope we can put all that behind us and... 473 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,192 Sterling stole something from Barry Six and it's 474 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:14,283 in the safe, so this whole idiotic fiasco was his fault. 475 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:15,458 -Archer! -Busted, Archer! -Archer, come on. 476 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,547 Well, Mother... touched my penis. 477 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:18,635 [all exclaim] 478 00:19:18,679 --> 00:19:20,463 Yeah. Since we're playing the blame game. 479 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:24,206 So just picture Mother's big old nasty bird claw 480 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,382 touching my cock. 481 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,299 [sniffs] What the... 482 00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:31,605 Uh-oh. 483 00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,129 -Oh, God, gross! -Jesus Space Christ. -Oh, gross. 484 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,436 -God damn it. -[chuckles]: Well... 485 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:39,134 that's our Pam! 486 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,659 What the hell are you doing? 487 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,705 Freeze frame. 488 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:10,078 MAN: Made in Georgia. 489 00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,432 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH