1 00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:16,099 -Decoy? Decoy? -I did warn you. 2 00:00:16,132 --> 00:00:17,803 After you threw me off the bike. 3 00:00:17,836 --> 00:00:20,207 So less a warning than an assignment. 4 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:22,378 God, I've always wanted to throw him off something. 5 00:00:22,411 --> 00:00:24,248 -What's it like? -Surprisingly easy. 6 00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:26,587 You're easy! Wait, no. 7 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,825 You're whatever's sexually undesirable 8 00:00:28,858 --> 00:00:30,595 due to untrustworthiness. 9 00:00:30,628 --> 00:00:32,866 Like my tennis coach who, turns out, is married. 10 00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:34,135 I don't see the problem. 11 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,739 You still got away from the police. 12 00:00:35,772 --> 00:00:38,176 And then got tranqed by the international jewel thieves 13 00:00:38,209 --> 00:00:39,747 we're supposed to be taking down. 14 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:42,151 Yeah, and they didn't use the good stuff either. 15 00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:45,157 My point is, this is all part of the plan. 16 00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:46,426 [dramatic music] 17 00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:49,232 Yeah, and, um, what part of the plan comes 18 00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:51,570 after being chained by our feet to the ceiling of a sea cave? 19 00:00:53,373 --> 00:00:54,475 [Zara] The fun part. 20 00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:59,319 [main title theme] 21 00:00:59,352 --> 00:01:06,265 ♪ ♪ 22 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,564 Easy, Lillian Leitzel. 23 00:01:38,597 --> 00:01:41,269 Excuse me for not wanting to die dangling. 24 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,839 Oh, yeah, much better to die 25 00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:45,679 swinging back and forth like a rummy old piñata. 26 00:01:45,712 --> 00:01:48,417 No one's going to die! 27 00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:50,889 But we will drown if we're not free in a few minutes. 28 00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:53,795 So, Zara, what exactly is your plan? 29 00:01:53,828 --> 00:01:55,865 Because so far, it's... [grunts] 30 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,903 Rob a probably innocent man, 31 00:01:57,936 --> 00:02:00,207 then rob a definitely innocent museum... 32 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,744 [grunts] Get tranquilized, 33 00:02:01,777 --> 00:02:04,382 then hang upside down in a cave. 34 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:05,585 The plan's actually too intense 35 00:02:05,618 --> 00:02:06,954 for your aging brain to understand, 36 00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:08,725 but we're waiting on step 3 of 12. 37 00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,528 14, if they have guard dogs. 38 00:02:10,561 --> 00:02:11,764 Seriously? [grunts] 39 00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:13,433 -Seriously? -Problem? 40 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,572 "I have a plan, but I can't share it," 41 00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:18,210 is exactly what people say when they don't have a plan 42 00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:19,445 and hope it all works out. 43 00:02:19,478 --> 00:02:20,515 Wonder why you know that. 44 00:02:20,548 --> 00:02:22,184 We all know why I know that! 45 00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:24,455 The difference is, I actually have a plan. 46 00:02:24,488 --> 00:02:25,959 -Trust me. -I don't. 47 00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:27,461 You're a loose cannon. 48 00:02:27,494 --> 00:02:29,666 You're kind of also a loose cannon, bud. 49 00:02:29,699 --> 00:02:32,405 Exactly, and you can't have two loose cannons on one ship. 50 00:02:32,438 --> 00:02:33,608 They'd smash everything. 51 00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,344 Yeah, as opposed to one loose cannon. 52 00:02:35,377 --> 00:02:38,618 I feel like "loose cannon" is never used as a positive. 53 00:02:38,651 --> 00:02:40,421 Really? Because people call me one all the time. 54 00:02:40,454 --> 00:02:41,957 And you think that's a compliment. 55 00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:43,493 -Obviously. -[scoffs] 56 00:02:43,527 --> 00:02:45,330 And now we know you're not the subtext cannon. 57 00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:46,901 Said the stupid cannon. 58 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,472 New plan, and I can share it. 59 00:02:49,506 --> 00:02:50,708 I'm saving the day. 60 00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:52,344 [grunting] 61 00:02:52,377 --> 00:02:54,716 "And why does that require you to be barefoot?" 62 00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:56,486 she asked, barely caring. 63 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:58,758 It's not my feet. It's my shoe. 64 00:02:58,791 --> 00:03:01,329 I made Krieger install an emergency phone 65 00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,601 -the week I joined the agency. -Ugh. Why? 66 00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:05,638 Because it felt like something a spy would have! 67 00:03:05,671 --> 00:03:08,276 [grunting] And guess what. It is. 68 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:09,813 -Because I have it. -[line rings] 69 00:03:09,846 --> 00:03:12,485 [phone rings] 70 00:03:12,519 --> 00:03:14,489 Well, you're finally using the shoe phone. 71 00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:16,694 It's about time. Does it stink? 72 00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,598 Shut up, Krieger. Listen, trace my call. 73 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,269 The moron Interpol agent got us captured. 74 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:24,610 Well, according to your shoe, you're on an island in Greece. 75 00:03:24,643 --> 00:03:26,412 Ooh, also according to your shoe, 76 00:03:26,445 --> 00:03:27,682 you're pigeon-toed. 77 00:03:27,715 --> 00:03:29,553 -We're in Greece? -Jelly. 78 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:30,722 So anything else? 79 00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:32,358 Organize a rescue, God damn it! 80 00:03:32,391 --> 00:03:33,594 Oh, shit. 81 00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:36,767 Congratulations on your daring robberies. 82 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,305 You have the attention of the Vanguard. 83 00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:41,510 But we only need one new member, 84 00:03:41,543 --> 00:03:44,783 so we will let the tide decide. 85 00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,987 I'll be back in an hour. 86 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,825 You forgot to say, "Any questions?" 87 00:03:48,858 --> 00:03:50,460 To which I would say, "Lots." 88 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,666 Like, do you wash these chains between guests? 89 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:55,905 Because salt water isn't enough to get them clean. 90 00:03:55,938 --> 00:03:59,345 Oh, please, salt water works fine on blood. 91 00:03:59,378 --> 00:04:01,517 It's rust you gotta worry about. 92 00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:03,053 [tense music] 93 00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:04,556 [Zara grunting] 94 00:04:04,589 --> 00:04:06,660 -Ahh. -Damn. 95 00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:08,063 Way to go, Zara. 96 00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:09,566 Ah! [gasps] 97 00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:10,969 You couldn't have done that earlier? 98 00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,839 Like before I got this inversion erection? 99 00:04:12,872 --> 00:04:14,008 I don't think that's a thing. 100 00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:16,079 Then explain why I have one! 101 00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:18,350 Step three was waiting for them to leave us alone 102 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,555 so we'd have more time to infiltrate the facility. 103 00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:22,592 [gasps] There was a step three! 104 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:23,995 No, there wasn't! 105 00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:26,332 She's just doing things and calling them steps. 106 00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:27,969 -Says the guy doing nothing. -Am I? 107 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,073 Or am I on step one of kicking your ass? 108 00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,744 Eh, still looks like nothing. 109 00:04:31,777 --> 00:04:32,879 Do you want me to get you down? 110 00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:34,348 No. Like my erection, 111 00:04:34,381 --> 00:04:35,852 I will handle this myself. 112 00:04:35,885 --> 00:04:37,989 Look, our goal is to take down the Vanguard leader, 113 00:04:38,022 --> 00:04:40,728 but he never leaves Vanguard's secret island headquarters, 114 00:04:40,761 --> 00:04:43,099 and the only way to get here was to be recruited. 115 00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:45,103 But now we're locked in a quickly flooding cave. 116 00:04:45,136 --> 00:04:47,107 Are we? 117 00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:48,443 [gasps] Was that-- 118 00:04:48,476 --> 00:04:50,682 -Step four, baby. -Not a step. 119 00:04:50,715 --> 00:04:52,117 See you after we accomplish the mission! 120 00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:53,754 Not if I see you first 121 00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,894 but after I accomplish the mission with my plan. 122 00:04:56,927 --> 00:04:57,929 [Zara] Yeah, good luck with that. 123 00:04:57,962 --> 00:05:01,002 She said with obvious jealousy. 124 00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,973 Okay, my plan. 125 00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,043 [slowly] My plan, 126 00:05:05,076 --> 00:05:09,786 of which step one is... 127 00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,826 [laughs] Utilize a friendly turtle! 128 00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:15,464 Which takes us to step two. 129 00:05:15,497 --> 00:05:17,134 Thoughts? 130 00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:18,871 I've got good news and bad news, people. 131 00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:21,142 [gasps] What about spooky news? 132 00:05:21,175 --> 00:05:23,614 Ooh, you never hear about spooky news. 133 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:25,919 -Right? -Ugh, tell me the bad news. 134 00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:28,123 Well, the good news is, the shoe phone worked great. 135 00:05:28,156 --> 00:05:30,093 And it gives me hope for my next invention, 136 00:05:30,126 --> 00:05:31,864 the brain parasite phone. 137 00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,567 Krieger, the bad news. 138 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,037 -The team was captured. -What? 139 00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,807 Oh, wait, there's more good news. 140 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,043 They're in Greece. 141 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:39,713 How is that good news? 142 00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:41,550 Duh. It's olive season. 143 00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:42,786 Okay, we have to rescue them. 144 00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:43,955 You're all back on field duty. 145 00:05:43,988 --> 00:05:45,758 Aww. Okay. 146 00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:47,796 Ugh, I guess I'll get my knives. 147 00:05:47,829 --> 00:05:49,967 Wait, how are we gonna get there on such short notice? 148 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,837 You gave away the private plane. 149 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,141 I gave away Robert's plane because we don't need it 150 00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:56,145 or him or his stupid money. 151 00:05:56,178 --> 00:05:58,116 There are other ways to travel. 152 00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,454 -[grunting] -Four to Athens, please. 153 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,991 No, I don't wanna check my knives. 154 00:06:02,024 --> 00:06:05,163 I wanna carry them on the plane like a normal person! 155 00:06:05,196 --> 00:06:07,602 Hey, Cyril, they still allow 156 00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,906 biological weapons on planes, right? 157 00:06:09,939 --> 00:06:11,610 What? No! 158 00:06:11,643 --> 00:06:13,146 -Oh, really? -[Cheryl grunting] 159 00:06:13,179 --> 00:06:14,650 Well, I'll be right back. 160 00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:15,918 [Cheryl grunts] 161 00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:19,125 I gotta say, Shelly, 162 00:06:19,158 --> 00:06:20,928 for a slow, inevitable death jail, 163 00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:22,732 this sea cave is pretty peaceful. 164 00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:24,001 [turtle squeaking] 165 00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:25,605 But a way out would be nice. 166 00:06:25,638 --> 00:06:26,907 [Pavle] Where are the others? 167 00:06:26,940 --> 00:06:28,076 Sharks? 168 00:06:28,109 --> 00:06:29,913 There are no sharks in Greece. 169 00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:31,550 There's sharks in the ocean. 170 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,019 All the oceans are connected. 171 00:06:33,052 --> 00:06:34,723 You're telling me a shark couldn't get to Greece? 172 00:06:34,756 --> 00:06:37,929 And get into this particular sea cave? 173 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,633 Yeah, you've got a point there. 174 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,572 -[grunts] -[spluttering] 175 00:06:42,605 --> 00:06:43,941 [dramatic music] 176 00:06:43,974 --> 00:06:45,611 Relax. I'm just trying to get your keys. 177 00:06:45,644 --> 00:06:47,515 But if you keep struggling... 178 00:06:47,548 --> 00:06:49,686 [Pavle's spluttering stops] 179 00:06:49,719 --> 00:06:51,724 Hang on. Did you already drown? 180 00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:52,993 It's been, like, ten seconds. 181 00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,830 Uh, note to Vanguard: 182 00:06:54,863 --> 00:06:56,600 the guy guarding the water jail should probably have 183 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,702 bigger lungs than a canary. 184 00:06:59,004 --> 00:07:00,608 Take care, Shelly. 185 00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:03,714 And sorry for killing that guy in your cave. 186 00:07:03,747 --> 00:07:08,156 Vanguard leader, come out to play! 187 00:07:08,189 --> 00:07:09,559 [Zara] Move, asshole. 188 00:07:09,592 --> 00:07:11,195 Oh, hey! You didn't drown. 189 00:07:11,228 --> 00:07:13,033 And I drowned someone else. 190 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,772 It's called going above and beyond, Zara. 191 00:07:15,805 --> 00:07:17,575 Well, we're on step eight. 192 00:07:17,608 --> 00:07:19,546 See this guy's face? Step seven. 193 00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,617 Well, call me Saul of Tarsus. 194 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,654 Why, are you blinding magicians now? 195 00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:25,725 No, you [scoffs] I'm a convert! 196 00:07:25,758 --> 00:07:27,027 This woman has a plan. 197 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:28,831 She's like you, Archer, 198 00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:31,837 if all the chaos and explosions and deaths were intentional. 199 00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,507 Everything I do is intentional. 200 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,810 Remember when I crashed a space shuttle 201 00:07:34,843 --> 00:07:35,978 and Ray was paralyzed? 202 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,749 -Vaguely. -Exactly. 203 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:38,984 "Exactly" what? 204 00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:41,055 -He's even better now. -Says who? 205 00:07:41,088 --> 00:07:42,892 Well, if you're not, you should've said something. 206 00:07:42,925 --> 00:07:45,631 I complain literally all the time! 207 00:07:45,664 --> 00:07:47,836 Anyway, I'm gonna keep going on with the mission. 208 00:07:47,869 --> 00:07:49,004 -Ha! -[groans] 209 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:50,775 [tense music] 210 00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:52,211 Tell me where your boss is, 211 00:07:52,244 --> 00:07:54,783 or I will give you a bright idea. 212 00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:56,687 Because of the light bulb in his brain. 213 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,891 -Nice. -[grunts] What boss? 214 00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:01,062 Your boss. The leader. 215 00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:02,866 Of the Vanguard. 216 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,836 The Vanguard has no leader. 217 00:08:04,869 --> 00:08:06,607 [laughs] What step is learning 218 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:07,775 your plan doesn't work? 219 00:08:09,244 --> 00:08:11,248 But obviously, this is bad for the mission. 220 00:08:15,758 --> 00:08:17,127 Uh, getting dark in here. 221 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,599 -Yeah, two ways. -[Vanguard member wheezing] 222 00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:21,570 What do you mean the Vanguard has no leader? 223 00:08:21,603 --> 00:08:23,574 We're nonhierarchical. 224 00:08:23,607 --> 00:08:24,843 Everyone is the leader. 225 00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:26,212 To wipe out the Vanguard, 226 00:08:26,245 --> 00:08:28,717 you have to kill all 61 members. 227 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:31,255 Technically 60. I accidentally drowned a guy. 228 00:08:31,288 --> 00:08:33,727 Maybe you know him? Bald? Lungs like a baby bird? 229 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,700 -[yells] -[grunting] 230 00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:39,105 Damn! And damn. 231 00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:41,743 -59. So we're tied. -Not for long. 232 00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:43,948 -It's not a contest! -But it could be. 233 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:45,885 We've got a lot of Vanguard to take out. 234 00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:48,356 And an odd number. You know, to avoid ties. 235 00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:50,160 Yeah, 'cause that's the most important thing 236 00:08:50,193 --> 00:08:51,630 in a murder contest. 237 00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:53,634 The murders were accidents, Ray. 238 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,139 -This will be more like-- -A concussion contest. 239 00:08:56,172 --> 00:08:58,276 Exactly, but never finish my sentence again. 240 00:08:58,309 --> 00:08:59,713 It's on. 241 00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:01,015 Whoever knocks out the most guards 242 00:09:01,048 --> 00:09:02,719 is officially the loosest cannon. 243 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,723 -Loser is-- -A normal lady cannon? 244 00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:06,292 If that's the label you prefer. 245 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,363 [wheezing] 246 00:09:08,396 --> 00:09:09,866 Wait, you're okay? 247 00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:12,004 [grunting] 248 00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:14,041 Nope. So that's two me, and-- 249 00:09:14,074 --> 00:09:15,645 All the rest me! 250 00:09:15,678 --> 00:09:18,049 Oh, good, another mission based on spite. 251 00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:19,853 I know! 252 00:09:19,886 --> 00:09:21,389 Wait, was that sarcasm? 253 00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:22,792 [Lana] I'm thrilled. 254 00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:24,796 A rescue mission on a commercial plane 255 00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,065 with checked guns 256 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,635 to save agents who failed to accomplish 257 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,171 our first mission for Interpol, 258 00:09:29,204 --> 00:09:31,844 thus putting the entire future of this agency in jeopardy. 259 00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:33,379 Also, the moron in front of me 260 00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:35,283 leaned his seat all the way back! 261 00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:38,122 Hey, I'm just exercising my right to recline. 262 00:09:38,155 --> 00:09:40,026 And your right to suck. 263 00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:41,730 I am calling the flight attendant. 264 00:09:41,763 --> 00:09:44,335 Fine, go crying to your sky mom. 265 00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:46,072 I just wanted to do things differently, you know, 266 00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:47,341 be the steady hand in the office, 267 00:09:47,374 --> 00:09:48,777 but instead, here I am, 268 00:09:48,810 --> 00:09:50,146 first mission in charge, back in the field. 269 00:09:50,179 --> 00:09:51,415 Maybe I can't leave. 270 00:09:51,448 --> 00:09:53,152 I mean, Archer doesn't work well on his own. 271 00:09:53,185 --> 00:09:54,923 -Are you okay? -No. 272 00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:57,094 My submarine has bigger seats than this! 273 00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,933 I asked you to charter us a private plane. 274 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,171 And I thought flying commercial would be funny! 275 00:10:02,204 --> 00:10:04,175 They actually give you peanuts. 276 00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:06,212 I thought that was some kind of weird joke. 277 00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:08,349 Five perfectly good bioweapons 278 00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:10,086 thrown in a public trash can. 279 00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:12,692 They should be in a terrorist's trash can! 280 00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:15,297 Stop saying those words on a plane. 281 00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:17,034 Sir, I'm gonna need you 282 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:18,971 to come with me to the back of the plane. 283 00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:20,908 Ooh, upgrade. 284 00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:23,079 [grunting] 285 00:10:23,112 --> 00:10:25,851 I'll save your peanuts for later. 286 00:10:25,884 --> 00:10:28,991 [dramatic music] 287 00:10:29,024 --> 00:10:30,995 Oh, I'm sorry. Were you gonna knock him out? 288 00:10:31,028 --> 00:10:32,397 No. [grunts] 289 00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:34,468 I was going to knock him out. 290 00:10:34,502 --> 00:10:36,172 So you won't mind if I go after-- 291 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:38,978 [grunting] 292 00:10:39,011 --> 00:10:41,182 The slowest, sickest guard on some future mission? 293 00:10:41,215 --> 00:10:43,854 Not at all. 294 00:10:43,887 --> 00:10:46,259 You know, in a weird, accidental way, 295 00:10:46,292 --> 00:10:47,829 they're kind of a good team. 296 00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:49,265 [guard groans] 297 00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:55,978 ♪ ♪ 298 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,293 Yeah, they're a regular Farrell and Balanchine. 299 00:11:03,326 --> 00:11:05,430 Yeah, including the awkward age gap. 300 00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:06,900 [both grunt] 301 00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,138 Call it a tie? 302 00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:10,975 Hey, he was already unconscious! 303 00:11:11,008 --> 00:11:12,879 And excessive force is the tiebreaker. 304 00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:15,417 Point Archer, which means... 305 00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:18,724 -[silverware clatters] -I'm winning. 306 00:11:18,757 --> 00:11:22,097 Damn, you guys have a cafeteria? 307 00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:24,903 [sighs] We have to pay for our meals. 308 00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:27,040 I'm just saying, if the choice was between 309 00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:29,512 eating this meal and the plane crashing, 310 00:11:29,545 --> 00:11:31,783 I would choose the plane crash. 311 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:35,457 The chicken is very good. My compliments to the chef. 312 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,929 Any chance the captain could speed this flight up? 313 00:11:37,962 --> 00:11:39,264 We're in a bit of a rush. 314 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,406 Maybe stepping up to run the agency was the wrong move. 315 00:11:43,439 --> 00:11:45,010 I mean, I thought being in the office would be 316 00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,513 better for AJ, but not if I end up 317 00:11:46,546 --> 00:11:49,051 in the field every mission, and Cheryl, I need you to stop. 318 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,122 [screams] I need more room! 319 00:11:51,155 --> 00:11:52,892 This is like a plane for bugs! 320 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:54,796 Ma'am, just a reminder 321 00:11:54,829 --> 00:11:57,134 that the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. 322 00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,338 Just a reminder that I don't care. 323 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:01,543 Ma'am, I need you to calm down. 324 00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:03,947 You are alarming the other passengers. 325 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,150 Well, they should be alarmed, 326 00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,152 because I'm gonna buy this plane 327 00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:07,287 and crash it into the ground 328 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,058 where all the other poor people live. 329 00:12:09,091 --> 00:12:11,963 The sky is for the rich, you fucking bugs! 330 00:12:11,996 --> 00:12:15,036 [muffled shouting] 331 00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:18,042 [all grunting] 332 00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:24,188 ♪ ♪ 333 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,025 -[sighs] 25. 334 00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:27,227 21. 335 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,298 26 and 27. 336 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,302 Ugh, 21 again. 337 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:33,974 -[both grunting] -Get your own. 338 00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:36,847 I'm not the one who needs to lay off the carbs. 339 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,984 Ha! Oh, now we're body-shaming? 340 00:12:39,017 --> 00:12:41,990 Call it body-constructive criticism. 341 00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,461 Same side, assholes! 342 00:12:44,494 --> 00:12:46,265 [grunts] 343 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,802 -Pam, stop. -What? 344 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,038 We need an odd number of guards. 345 00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:51,208 If you knock one out, Zara and I might tie. 346 00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,814 Come on. Seriously? 347 00:12:53,847 --> 00:12:55,985 [alarm blaring] 348 00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:58,857 Hey, uh, before we do this, one question. 349 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,493 Is anyone out sick today? 350 00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:04,602 [gunfire] 351 00:13:04,635 --> 00:13:07,340 What is happening? We landed an hour ago. 352 00:13:07,373 --> 00:13:08,476 Excuse me. 353 00:13:08,510 --> 00:13:10,246 Lana, we're not supposed 354 00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:12,417 to take off our seat belts until we're at the gate. 355 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:13,887 And the gate is right there. 356 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,490 Do they not know this is a rescue mission? 357 00:13:15,524 --> 00:13:18,296 On a commercial flight? Huh. How would they not? 358 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:19,566 Are they leaving? 359 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,435 Hey! Hey! 360 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,540 You have a plane full of people here! 361 00:13:23,573 --> 00:13:26,078 Ma'am, it's not yet safe to stand. 362 00:13:26,111 --> 00:13:28,149 Oh, not safe? Why? 363 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,888 Are we in danger of running into one of the zero employees 364 00:13:30,921 --> 00:13:32,124 currently helping out there? 365 00:13:32,157 --> 00:13:34,629 -Ma'am-- -Oh, do not "ma'am" me. 366 00:13:34,662 --> 00:13:36,900 I have jumped out of planes over war zones 367 00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:38,871 with a parachute made from a negligee. 368 00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,407 I think I'll be fine crossing the tarmac 369 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,377 at Baklava International Airport. 370 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:43,914 Don't you dare come at me with that ta-- 371 00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,550 [taser buzzing] [groaning] 372 00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:49,926 [all grunting] 373 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,665 Ah, will you look at that? An eye massager. 374 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,504 What'll they think of next? 375 00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:56,506 [yelps] 376 00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:58,543 [gunfire] 377 00:14:00,046 --> 00:14:04,054 [all grunting] 378 00:14:04,087 --> 00:14:05,123 How many is that? 379 00:14:05,156 --> 00:14:07,194 Uh, little busy avoiding death 380 00:14:07,227 --> 00:14:08,564 and not being able to fight back. 381 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,536 Well, I count 30! 382 00:14:11,569 --> 00:14:12,905 Same. 383 00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,341 ♪ ♪ 384 00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:15,945 Ah! Damn it! 385 00:14:15,978 --> 00:14:17,582 [Zara grunting] 386 00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:20,153 -Seriously? -That face belongs to my fist! 387 00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:21,422 I could also just leave. 388 00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:22,457 [both] No! 389 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:25,329 [both grunting] 390 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,273 50 on Archer, but 20 on Zara to break one of his arms. 391 00:14:30,306 --> 00:14:32,578 Ugh, who puts olives in lasagna? 392 00:14:32,611 --> 00:14:33,614 They are in season. 393 00:14:33,647 --> 00:14:37,622 ♪ ♪ 394 00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:39,324 -[gunshot] -Enough. 395 00:14:39,357 --> 00:14:41,028 Uh, can whatever this is wait 396 00:14:41,061 --> 00:14:42,965 until I knock out this terrified man? 397 00:14:42,998 --> 00:14:44,502 I'm afraid not. 398 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:47,340 I'm the Warden, leader of the Vanguard. 399 00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:49,111 -Wha-- -Ugh! 400 00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,115 Sorry, it's not you. 401 00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:53,553 It's just, now there is an even number. 402 00:14:58,295 --> 00:15:01,368 Look at us. Tied with our own zips. 403 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,540 Ugh, don't remind me... of the tie. 404 00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:05,243 It's 30 to 30. 405 00:15:05,276 --> 00:15:07,380 Is that seriously what you're thinking about right now? 406 00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:09,284 I mean...yes? 407 00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:11,155 You know, I'm beginning to think 408 00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:13,994 you're not aspiring new recruits. 409 00:15:14,027 --> 00:15:16,098 We are, but she's a spy. 410 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:18,035 Ugh, we're all spies. 411 00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,371 Is this still part of your plan? 412 00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,510 "Plan" in massive air quotes. 413 00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:24,248 Pretty sure y'all's little competition derailed the plan. 414 00:15:24,281 --> 00:15:25,985 -Or did it? -It did. 415 00:15:26,018 --> 00:15:27,420 -I derailed you. -Ha! 416 00:15:27,453 --> 00:15:29,424 So you admit there was a plan to derail. 417 00:15:29,457 --> 00:15:31,195 No! Uh, shit. Hang on, I-- 418 00:15:31,228 --> 00:15:32,999 -[gunshot] -[groaning] 419 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,468 Do I have your attention? 420 00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:35,538 Not really, no. 421 00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:36,973 -[gunshot] -[screams] 422 00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:38,142 Have you ever heard that you catch 423 00:15:38,175 --> 00:15:39,512 more flies with honey? 424 00:15:39,545 --> 00:15:41,550 -[gunshot] -Oh, right in the same hole! 425 00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:43,286 [wheezing] Probably just luck. 426 00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:44,388 -[gunshot] -Oh! 427 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,158 [wheezing] It's not luck. 428 00:15:46,191 --> 00:15:48,429 Same hole again. This guy's good. 429 00:15:48,462 --> 00:15:50,466 Okay. You have his attention. 430 00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:53,072 Still can't believe you're not nonhierarchical. 431 00:15:53,105 --> 00:15:55,143 A lie for my protection. 432 00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,280 If no one believes there's a leader, 433 00:15:57,313 --> 00:15:59,451 there's no leader to find. 434 00:15:59,484 --> 00:16:01,322 But, you know, someone has to write the checks 435 00:16:01,355 --> 00:16:03,092 and decide which holidays to take off. 436 00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,629 Oh, we've got someone like that. 437 00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:06,332 She's, uh, new at the job, 438 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,436 but feel confident saying she's bad at it. 439 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:10,541 It's certainly not going to help 440 00:16:10,574 --> 00:16:13,312 that she's lost an entire team. 441 00:16:13,345 --> 00:16:15,618 [high-pitched] What? What? What? What? 442 00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:18,322 Why tie us up if you're just gonna shoot us right way? 443 00:16:18,355 --> 00:16:20,728 Why give 60 men concussions? 444 00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:23,767 You have your process, and I have mine. 445 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,305 Wait! Are you really the leader of the Vanguard? 446 00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:27,642 -Yes. -But really? 447 00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:28,777 Really, really? 448 00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:30,614 -[sighs] Yes. -Great. 449 00:16:30,647 --> 00:16:32,183 [gunshot] 450 00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:33,520 What the hell just happened? 451 00:16:33,553 --> 00:16:35,490 -[gasps] Is that-- -[Zara] Step 12. 452 00:16:35,524 --> 00:16:36,793 Archer has a shoe phone. 453 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:38,262 I have a shoe gun. 454 00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:39,599 Seems more useful. 455 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:43,339 Oh, also, that's 31 to 30, so I win. 456 00:16:43,372 --> 00:16:44,742 Step 12? 457 00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:47,748 I thought we were still on step nine! 458 00:16:47,781 --> 00:16:50,788 Zara, I'm gonna tell you what I told the dry cleaner 459 00:16:50,821 --> 00:16:53,125 who got yuzu off my yukata: 460 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:54,361 you might be a genius. 461 00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:55,764 Yeah, you might-- 462 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,267 -[alarm blaring] -[female voice] Warden down. 463 00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,774 Vanguard base to self-destruct in five minutes. 464 00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:03,814 The base explodes if the Warden dies? 465 00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:07,153 Does the new leader have to build a completely new base? 466 00:17:07,186 --> 00:17:08,557 I'm a little more concerned 467 00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:10,393 about how we're all tied to chairs 468 00:17:10,426 --> 00:17:12,531 in a building that's about to explode. 469 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,769 So, genius, what part of the plan is this? 470 00:17:14,802 --> 00:17:16,238 Technically, the plan only went up 471 00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,775 to killing the leader of the Vanguard, 472 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:21,248 so I guess the plan is to blow up in five minutes. 473 00:17:21,281 --> 00:17:22,518 New plan. [grunts] 474 00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:24,622 Hope that the shoe phones are waterproof. 475 00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:25,624 [grunts] 476 00:17:27,393 --> 00:17:28,830 -Archer. -You'll have to speak up. 477 00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:31,268 I'm calling on a long-distance shoe. 478 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,538 [Lana] We'll be there in five minutes. 479 00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:33,807 [Krieger] Although, full disclosure, 480 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,410 the airline lost our bags, 481 00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:37,848 so we don't have any weapons or beach clothes. 482 00:17:37,881 --> 00:17:39,719 Uh, additional full disclosure, 483 00:17:39,752 --> 00:17:41,422 we're blowing up in four minutes. 484 00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:42,457 -What? -Okay, tell them 485 00:17:42,490 --> 00:17:43,694 we have one knife. 486 00:17:43,727 --> 00:17:45,263 Oh, where did you get that? 487 00:17:45,296 --> 00:17:47,334 -Uh, I brought it? -On the plane? 488 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,537 It's ceramic. 489 00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:50,306 [Archer] Lana, in case we explode, 490 00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:52,678 I want you to know, I've never respected-- 491 00:17:52,711 --> 00:17:54,281 -[line beeps] -Archer? Archer. 492 00:17:54,314 --> 00:17:55,684 The battery must be dead. 493 00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:57,822 I told him I could've fit more batteries 494 00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,525 in a kitten heel. 495 00:18:00,293 --> 00:18:02,531 On the bright side, now that we're tied to chairs 496 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:04,134 instead of a cave ceiling, 497 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,840 I can move close enough to do this. 498 00:18:06,873 --> 00:18:09,444 [laughs] Do what? Kick the air near me? 499 00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:10,814 You know that wasn't my intent! 500 00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:12,317 Fight toward an exit. 501 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,154 We've got three minutes. 502 00:18:14,187 --> 00:18:15,423 [sighs] 503 00:18:15,456 --> 00:18:17,193 All you'd have to do is sit here, 504 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,601 and you'd never have to deal with any of them ever again. 505 00:18:20,634 --> 00:18:22,303 [alarm blaring] 506 00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:24,408 And miss all that good TV? 507 00:18:24,441 --> 00:18:25,878 [chuckling] No. 508 00:18:25,911 --> 00:18:29,351 ♪ ♪ 509 00:18:29,384 --> 00:18:31,221 -Whoa! -[grunting] 510 00:18:31,254 --> 00:18:34,227 [all grunting] 511 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:40,507 ♪ ♪ 512 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:42,177 [chair clattering] 513 00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,916 [Archer groaning] 514 00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:47,888 [both grunting] 515 00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,195 Just let me go first! 516 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,665 [grunts] I'd rather die. 517 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:53,867 You're about to. 518 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,771 You don't know my explosion tolerance! 519 00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:57,574 Grudge later, you dicks. 520 00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:02,651 Oh, thank God. I'm so glad to see you. 521 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,756 [screams] 522 00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:07,460 31! We tied. 523 00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:11,770 Oh, thank God. We're not too late. 524 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:13,774 [explosion booms] 525 00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:16,546 Not too late for what, s'mores? 526 00:19:16,579 --> 00:19:18,416 [Cyril] Oh, my God. 527 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,386 They're-- they're gone. 528 00:19:20,419 --> 00:19:22,257 They're-- they're really gone. 529 00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:24,394 If we can find even a shred of DNA, 530 00:19:24,427 --> 00:19:26,365 I can bring them back. 531 00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:27,835 In the bodies of dogs. 532 00:19:27,868 --> 00:19:29,471 Any dog you want. 533 00:19:29,505 --> 00:19:31,643 Collies, Labradors, pugs. 534 00:19:31,676 --> 00:19:32,812 Look! 535 00:19:32,845 --> 00:19:38,355 ♪ ♪ 536 00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:45,369 How do I keep forgetting I can do that? 537 00:19:45,402 --> 00:19:46,573 Because you don't want to admit to yourself 538 00:19:46,606 --> 00:19:47,842 that you're an abomination? 539 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,912 Oh, there it is. 540 00:19:49,945 --> 00:19:51,916 -Lana Kane. -Zara Kahn. 541 00:19:51,949 --> 00:19:53,787 So the leader of the Vanguard is dead. 542 00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,423 Their facility is destroyed. 543 00:19:55,456 --> 00:19:56,726 I believe Interpol would consider that 544 00:19:56,759 --> 00:19:57,862 a mission accomplished. 545 00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,532 Congratulations. 546 00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:02,505 And better luck next time, lady cannon. 547 00:20:02,538 --> 00:20:04,776 Uh, more like same luck this time. 548 00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:05,944 I got the final guard on the way out, 549 00:20:05,977 --> 00:20:07,948 which means we tied. What do you say to that? 550 00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:10,521 Step 5B: provide a metaphorical fig leaf 551 00:20:10,554 --> 00:20:12,525 for your limp, wilting ego. 552 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:15,263 [gasps] There were sub-steps? 553 00:20:15,296 --> 00:20:17,333 There were sub-steps. 554 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,437 Uh, what's happening on this mission? 555 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,976 A commercial airline made a powerful enemy. 556 00:20:22,009 --> 00:20:23,713 Your attitude was tanking the mission, 557 00:20:23,746 --> 00:20:25,416 so I gave you a goal to get you in line. 558 00:20:25,449 --> 00:20:26,886 It's not a contest! 559 00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,723 But it could be. 560 00:20:28,756 --> 00:20:30,828 You thought you were proving you were a loose cannon. 561 00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:33,733 I had you tied down the whole time. 562 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,438 No, that's-- I-- this doesn't make you the loose cannon! 563 00:20:36,471 --> 00:20:37,942 Oh, I'm not a loose cannon. 564 00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:41,014 I'm more a shotgun filled with scalpels. 565 00:20:41,047 --> 00:20:42,417 Ooh, I'm getting one of those. 566 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,856 How have I not made one of those? 567 00:20:44,889 --> 00:20:48,429 Hmm, maybe I don't need to go back in the field after all. 568 00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:49,599 How would you like a new job? 569 00:20:49,632 --> 00:20:50,834 Would I have to relocate? 570 00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:52,738 -I'm based in Europe. -Oh. Uh... 571 00:20:52,771 --> 00:20:54,909 And if I do relocate, is there a moving stipend? 572 00:20:54,942 --> 00:20:56,713 Also, am I under a fixed contract? 573 00:20:56,746 --> 00:20:58,449 Who deals with my migration status? 574 00:20:58,482 --> 00:21:00,319 And if I quit, do I get to keep the stipend? 575 00:21:00,352 --> 00:21:01,856 Uh, sure that we can do, um... 576 00:21:01,889 --> 00:21:04,327 No! I'm fucking with you. 577 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,864 I've been looking for a new challenge, 578 00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:08,068 and you seem like a better boss than those Interpol pricks. 579 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,641 But I want what Archer makes, plus $1. 580 00:21:10,674 --> 00:21:12,477 Wha-- on what basis? 581 00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:14,481 On the basis that I was the best at Interpol. 582 00:21:14,515 --> 00:21:16,786 I'll be the best at whatever you guys are. 583 00:21:16,819 --> 00:21:19,759 -Deal. You are hired. -What? 584 00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:21,663 You know, I sort of liked flying commercial. 585 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:23,533 There was more bondage than I expected. 586 00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:24,869 What just happened? 587 00:21:24,902 --> 00:21:26,906 I think you just got a new partner 588 00:21:26,939 --> 00:21:29,344 who technically makes more than you. 589 00:21:29,377 --> 00:21:30,647 [scoffs] Like I care. 590 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,050 Cyril, do you think she knows I don't care? 591 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,052 I don't know. 592 00:21:33,085 --> 00:21:34,054 Well, she needs to, 593 00:21:34,087 --> 00:21:36,526 because I don't. 594 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:38,062 Zara? 595 00:21:38,095 --> 00:21:39,765 Zara? 596 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,769 Zara! 597 00:21:44,575 --> 00:21:51,522 ♪ ♪ 598 00:22:03,579 --> 00:22:06,484 Made in Georgia.