1 00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:09,409 Whoo-hoo! Office vacation! 2 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:11,444 No, office mission. 3 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:15,582 Why are we always doing missions? 4 00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:16,883 Because it's our job. 5 00:00:16,918 --> 00:00:18,652 You don't even know what I do. 6 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,922 -Do you? -What? 7 00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:23,057 Look at this place-- is our mission to stop people 8 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,658 from getting up crazy early 9 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,893 and using towels to claim the best lounge chairs? 10 00:00:26,928 --> 00:00:28,662 Probably not. 11 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,630 What's wrong with using a towel to claim a chair? 12 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,565 Ugh, are you really one of those people? 13 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,135 One of what people? 14 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,735 One of those people who thinks 15 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:36,971 they own the best seats at the pool 16 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,838 and can ruin everyone else's vacation. 17 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,740 So it is a vacation! 18 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,144 Not a vacation! And not a resort. 19 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:46,013 It's a luxury plastic surgery facility in Costa Rica. 20 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,916 Pfft, anyone can put plastic in a body. 21 00:00:48,950 --> 00:00:51,986 I can put an entire universe inside of you. 22 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,088 Interpol received intel that one of the world's 23 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,924 foremost drug kingpins will be a patient at the facility. 24 00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:58,960 This is your target: El Cambiante. 25 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,794 Wait, these are the best photos we have? 26 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,462 They're the only photos we have. 27 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:04,098 El Cambiante is incredibly secretive. 28 00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:05,799 -Same. -Oh, please. 29 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,667 - You share everything. - Aha! 30 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,503 So my true secrets remain hidden. 31 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,806 You have worse secrets than the ones we already know? 32 00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,474 -Wait, what kind of se-- -Nobody ask! 33 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:16,277 No one knows what El Cambiante looks like 34 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,778 because every five years, he changes his appearance. 35 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,147 Your mission is to pose as patients, 36 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,848 find El Cambiante, and take him alive 37 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,284 before he changes his face. 38 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,953 Huh, their rates are actually really reasonable. 39 00:01:25,987 --> 00:01:28,022 Botox in, bad guy out. Got it. 40 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,522 You get Botox? 41 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:30,992 Regular touch-ups when I'm young 42 00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:33,027 will help me avoid looking like you when I'm older. 43 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,495 Why would you want to avoid looking... perfect? 44 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,298 Aww. You should look at a mirror-- 45 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,532 and not a photo from 20 years ago. 46 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:40,867 There wouldn't be any difference! 47 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:43,070 I mean, there's some difference. 48 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,905 Crow's feet. 49 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,174 Say the word and I can give you tiger feet. 50 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,977 Lana, tell them I look as good, if not better than ever. 51 00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,145 You don't, I won't, 52 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:52,679 and your plane leaves in an hour. 53 00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:53,981 Seriously? 54 00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:55,983 Uh, this? 55 00:01:56,017 --> 00:01:58,152 This is for a different mission. 56 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,519 I call Pam's mission! 57 00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,903 So tell me what you don't like about yourself. 58 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,770 Whoa, doc, that's a tough one. 59 00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,941 I mean, I guess I've been told my features are too striking. 60 00:02:55,076 --> 00:02:56,743 I like everything about myself. 61 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,212 Then why are you here? 62 00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,014 I don't know, why are any of us here? 63 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,583 Standard touch-up--injections at the orbicularis oculi, 64 00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,052 glabella, and frontalis. 65 00:03:05,086 --> 00:03:08,222 Not too heavy. I like to glare. 66 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,924 So what's the craziest thing 67 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,325 you've ever put inside a person? 68 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,725 -I-- -Follow-up. 69 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,261 What's the craziest thing you'd like 70 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,996 to put inside a person? 71 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,998 Why are you naked? 72 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,134 I thought you were gonna circle my problem areas. 73 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,801 U-unless you want me to circle them. 74 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,603 This is my first plastic surgery. 75 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,974 You want to know the ages of all the guests? 76 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,741 Well, only for sex reasons. 77 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,411 Do you know what would happen if I went full Archer 78 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,679 on a 60-year-old because I thought she was 30? 79 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,747 We'd be having sex on her deathbed. 80 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,683 Which is actually something I've done-- 81 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,152 not that my penis killed her. 82 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,987 Yeah, I can't in good conscience 83 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,123 recommend any surgical procedures. 84 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:43,924 Because I'm already perfect? 85 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,359 Because I wouldn't feel comfortable 86 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,428 putting someone in your condition under anesthesia. 87 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,662 -What condition? -I-I don't know where to start. 88 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,366 Multiple fractures, dozens of knife and projectile wounds. 89 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,034 Your liver is hanging on by a thread. 90 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,970 One of your kidneys has detached 91 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,804 and is just floating inside of you. 92 00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:01,175 And your spine is one bad blow from total paralysis. 93 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:04,777 Wait, you can't operate on me because I'm too frail? 94 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,314 Mr. Archer, you're ten steps past frail. 95 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,949 How many concussions have you had? 96 00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,650 It's not a concussion if you remember it. 97 00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,186 Listen to me: this is the body of a man 98 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:14,021 with no more second chances. 99 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,190 If you even sneeze wrong, your heart might stop. 100 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,291 Understood? 101 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,026 Yeah, uh, uh, okay. 102 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,861 Uh, I-I-I-I guess I'll go. 103 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,964 You should hold the handrail when you go down the stairs. 104 00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:25,132 Yeah, I-I got it. 105 00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,400 And if you don't have a will... 106 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,135 I got it! 107 00:04:28,169 --> 00:04:29,802 This is it, Ray. 108 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,072 This is the day the Agency gets a fresh start. 109 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:33,806 And didn't you say that last week? 110 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,376 -And the week before that? -No idea! 111 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,044 I'm too fresh to remember. 112 00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:40,047 Then how is a fresh start different from brain damage? 113 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,982 You see this calendar? Hmm? This is the calendar of someone 114 00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:45,486 who has a plan: staff meetings, budget reviews-- 115 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:46,921 And a whole bunch of other office-y stuff 116 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,888 -I already cancelled. -What? Why? 117 00:04:48,923 --> 00:04:51,325 Uh, because it's Blackmail Bribe Day? 118 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,893 Why are you saying that like we should know what that is? 119 00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,362 Well, maybe you should, 120 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,896 because it's basically the reason 121 00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:58,999 this office isn't blown up. 122 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,434 Well, one of the reasons. 123 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:04,238 Another reason is, I have found... other outlets. 124 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,208 Hotter... hotter... 125 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,841 hotter... 126 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,177 hotter! 127 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,383 Cheryl, what is Blackmail Bribe Day? 128 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,052 Oh, right. It turns out you guys 129 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,520 are not super stealthy on missions, 130 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,355 and you break, like, a lot of laws. 131 00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,958 So one day a month, Ms. Archer would pay off the people 132 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,259 who saw something or heard something 133 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,859 or lost something or got shot by something. 134 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,761 Pay them off how? With what money? 135 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:30,030 That's the blackmail part. 136 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,398 There used to be a Blackmail Day 137 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,368 and a Bribe Day, but honestly, it was so confusing 138 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,370 and just easier to get everyone in and out all at once. 139 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,905 Everyone? 140 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,274 It's like if the DMV was at a prison. 141 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,042 Yeah, we're not doing this. 142 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,378 -Tell all those people to go. -Are you sure about that? 143 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,046 Ms. Archer said Blackmail Bribe Day 144 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,115 is the only thing keeping this entire city 145 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,050 from descending into utter chaos. 146 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,920 And Ms. Kane says we're taking a new approach. 147 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,255 Ooh, okay! 148 00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:56,223 Is the new approach embassy explosions 149 00:05:56,257 --> 00:05:58,891 -and power grid failures? -Just do it! 150 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,167 Ahh, this is my kind of mission. 151 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,902 But we should probably look for this guy soon. 152 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,404 12 women and 7 men in the vicinity. 153 00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:11,939 Four men too old, 154 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,141 two men too young, and one man too tall. 155 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:17,344 And none of these rich bastards are tipping their waiters! 156 00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,179 Get 'em, girl. 157 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,581 But I thought you Brits didn't tip. 158 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,982 Some of us do actually care 159 00:06:22,016 --> 00:06:23,517 whether workers can feed their children. 160 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,320 And I notice you didn't put anything on the waiter's tray. 161 00:06:26,353 --> 00:06:29,189 Well, at least you're super judgey about it. 162 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:31,959 Yeah, you're fooling everybody, young ladies. 163 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,127 Now who's judgey? 164 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,461 Eh, they can do what they want. 165 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,263 I just worry about if they sneeze, 166 00:06:36,297 --> 00:06:38,966 -their faces might fall off. -What happened to you? 167 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,834 Good news: I got calf implants! 168 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,471 Ugh, you got major surgery mid-mission? 169 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:46,340 Because my calves have always been small, 170 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,109 no matter how much I exercise. What do you think? 171 00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,512 What's important is that you like them, 172 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,181 so don't listen to what anybody says behind your back. 173 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,150 -Or to your front. -Thank you? 174 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:58,851 Is anyone working on the mission? 175 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,820 I mean, Krieger's been getting close with that doctor. 176 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,956 I'm just saying, think back to why you became a surgeon. 177 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,625 Was it because you wanted to help people? 178 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,827 Or was it because you wanted godlike power? 179 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,496 Godlike power. 180 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,065 Right. Time for action. 181 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,300 Oy, fucker! Your waiter provided a service, 182 00:07:13,334 --> 00:07:14,968 and they deserve compensation! 183 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,470 Eh, maybe Archer has a lead. 184 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,305 Mm, not unless staring wistfully 185 00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:20,374 out into the ocean is a lead. 186 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,081 Hey, bud. You okay? 187 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,049 I thought so, but apparently not. 188 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,918 Oh, boy. What happened? 189 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,152 Life happened, Pam. 190 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,488 A thousand lives, all lived too fully. 191 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,157 And now, according to modern medicine, I'm nothing. 192 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,891 A shell of an agent. 193 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,994 A shell of a man. 194 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:47,067 Yeah, the doctor said my skin is too smooth for Botox. 195 00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:54,341 Right, all the patients at the facility 196 00:07:54,375 --> 00:07:55,609 got invites to the mixer. 197 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,445 Let's split up and look for El Cambiante. 198 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,614 No rush. 199 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,282 Oh, that's good, because Dr. Spencer 200 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,084 told me to never rush again. 201 00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:06,520 And I'm not supposed to run until the swelling goes down. 202 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,455 And my guy here's clearly opening a coconut 203 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,924 -for the first time. -Wait. Where's Krieger? 204 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,227 -I can't! -Can't? 205 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:16,196 Could Picasso can't? Could Kant can't? 206 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:19,633 You are an artist, and the human skeleton is your canvas! 207 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,568 Now graft that horn! 208 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,539 How are we supposed to find this guy? 209 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,241 Everybody here has the exact same nose. 210 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:28,709 Thanks for walking with me, Pam. 211 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,611 One bad fall, and my hips could shatter. 212 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,479 According to one doctor! 213 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,149 And according to the X-rays of my buckling tibias. 214 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,218 Screw the X-rays! This whole place is toxic. 215 00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,554 These doctors only make money if they convince you 216 00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,723 there's something broken that they can fix. 217 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,992 Dr. Spencer actually refused to work on me 218 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,293 because I'm too broken. 219 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,962 That was reverse psychology, dude. 220 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,931 -Oh. You think? -I know! 221 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,500 Look, Archer, you're not the fresh young agent anymore, 222 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,603 but you're something better: the salty old pro 223 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,672 who's seen it all and lived to tell about it. 224 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,973 I do have a lot of things to tell. 225 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,341 So go tell them! 226 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:03,243 Oh, and I guess look for our target. 227 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:04,478 Are we still doing that? 228 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,949 -Still no sign of him. -Keep looking. 229 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,250 He's here somewhere. 230 00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:11,485 Huh? 231 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,487 Sorry, I-I have a gasping disorder. 232 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,155 The doctors are stumped. 233 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,625 This is unbelievable. 234 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,261 Half our budget is just labeled "miscellaneous." 235 00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:24,164 Originally we called it bribes, but the-- 236 00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:27,167 ...then we had to bribe the IRS to not arrest us, so. 237 00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:29,269 We spend half our budget on bribes? 238 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,305 I mean, the blackmail covers some of that. 239 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:32,639 But Ms. Archer always said that 240 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,108 there's no such thing as free blackmail, 241 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:38,212 which is why blackmail expenses are labeled "et cetera." 242 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,614 Yeah, we're not doing any of this anymore. 243 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,483 Well, tell that to Mr. Persistent. 244 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,354 Hi. I don't wanna be rude. Maybe you were in the bathroom. 245 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,122 But this Agency doesn't do bribes anymore. 246 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,692 Oh, I heard. Very noble. 247 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,561 I'm Gary. Trust me--you want to bribe me. 248 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,297 Actually, Gary, I don't. 249 00:09:57,331 --> 00:10:00,133 Because this is my Agency. A new Agency. 250 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,636 So take whatever deal you had in the past, 251 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:06,139 crumple it up into a tiny ball, and shove it up or down 252 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,475 or through any hole of your choosing. 253 00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:10,043 Mm, okay then. 254 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,478 I'll just wait until you change your mind. 255 00:10:11,512 --> 00:10:13,213 Well, then prepare to wait forever, 256 00:10:13,247 --> 00:10:14,715 Gary, because nothing is gonna-- 257 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,484 Was that the Costa Rican embassy? 258 00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:19,486 Yeah, we've been bribing some cartel 259 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,321 -not to blow it up. -Why? 260 00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,656 Because if they do, 261 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,325 it will make the Panamanian Mafia furious. 262 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,326 Wha-- 263 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,161 See? 264 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,697 - That could be a coincidence. - Mm-hmm, yeah. 265 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,834 It's a real coincidence spree out there. 266 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:37,237 Wrong nose. Wrong forehead. 267 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,706 Right nose, right forehead, but a lady. 268 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,575 -Señora. -Cheers. 269 00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,844 You're being rather attentive. 270 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,846 Only when the lady is worth attending. 271 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,582 And might I say, your work is exquisite. 272 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,118 I would love to see some pictures of your grandchildren. 273 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,420 Grandchildren? I'm 25! 274 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,255 I see, señorita. 275 00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:57,524 Apologies, but you are not my type. 276 00:10:57,558 --> 00:10:59,793 Ugh. I hate this place. 277 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,095 We have a problem. 278 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,697 Yeah, you're interrupting me 279 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,699 while I share my years of wisdom 280 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,467 with these beautiful young ladies. 281 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,069 Why is that funny? 282 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,405 You sound just like my grandson. 283 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,473 Grandson? I hate this place. 284 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,242 I don't think we're the only ones 285 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,110 looking for El Cambiante! 286 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,712 -Ay! -Hang on. 287 00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:21,481 Perfect nose, dimpled chin, lifted buttocks. 288 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,784 The waiter is El Cambiante? 289 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:26,587 A disguise within a disguise? I knew it! 290 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,389 -After him! -Hey! Be careful who you shove! 291 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:31,124 Everyone here is older than they look. 292 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,593 Ha! 293 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,661 Oh, no, he's whimsically getting away! 294 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,730 And he took the only harness! 295 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:39,099 Oh, Zara. First zipline? 296 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,802 Hey! What was wrong with your belt? 297 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,804 The wire is really bad for the leather. 298 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:49,776 Gah-ha! 299 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,345 What the--you still have your drink? 300 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,146 I'll drop it if I have to. 301 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,415 Good news: I saw a sloth! 302 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,250 -Where is he? -Probably still back that way. 303 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,586 -You know, he's pretty slow. -I mean El Cambiante, you knob! 304 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,255 Oh. No idea. 305 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,257 Cyril, I know this is basically a vacation, 306 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,525 but you still have to wear pants. 307 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,161 They fell off because you took my belt. 308 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,596 Or because your pants were too loose. 309 00:12:09,630 --> 00:12:11,465 That's what the belt was for. 310 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,533 A belt shouldn't be functional, Cyril! 311 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,302 -It's an accent piece! -There he is! 312 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,337 Split up! 313 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,677 -Can anyone see him? -Need a little help, please! 314 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,613 I gotcha! 315 00:12:26,647 --> 00:12:28,215 And I've got a new friend. 316 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,450 I shall call you Norman, because-- 317 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:32,185 Ow! Why are you so fast? 318 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,787 There's a whole sin about it! 319 00:12:37,691 --> 00:12:40,494 Guys! He's up! 320 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:41,963 I'm supposed to say that! 321 00:12:41,996 --> 00:12:44,464 Well, now I gotta knock him out again. 322 00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:47,701 -Let's just keep him up. -Hey, bud. Recovery mai tai? 323 00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,971 I got you this tiny fan from the gift shop. 324 00:12:50,004 --> 00:12:51,304 They had flowers, but I thought, 325 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,206 "Everyone buys flowers," 326 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,709 -so... tiny fan! -What happened? 327 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,678 You fell 50 feet onto jagged rocks. 328 00:12:57,711 --> 00:12:59,914 Also, you held that asshole sloth 329 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,515 to break its fall with your body. 330 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,483 And, uh, it bit you when you landed. 331 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,485 And just soaked you in piss. 332 00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,354 That's... amazing! 333 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,555 Uh, but is it? 334 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,357 I was worried I was getting old. 335 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,492 But I just survived an accident that should have killed me. 336 00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,760 I might be invincible. 337 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,831 Yeah, that'd be the 30 stitches. 338 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,701 Or the nanobots, if they decided to rebel. 339 00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:23,870 Fine, I'm probably not invincible. 340 00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:25,839 Just lucky to the point of being immortal. 341 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,708 So where are we on the mission? 342 00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,409 We lost El Cambiante in the jungle, 343 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:30,844 but now that we know what he looks like, 344 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,713 I was able to find him in the hospital database. 345 00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,414 It looks like he got his surgery. 346 00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,516 He's in recovery with a new face. 347 00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:38,518 Yeah. His last face. 348 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,854 Ooh, scary! 349 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,290 I'm drunk. 350 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,858 And I have rounds with Dr. Spencer. 351 00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:47,861 We're taking plastic surgery to new and forbidden places. 352 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,696 Places we probably shouldn't go. 353 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:51,631 Places that, deep down, make me wonder 354 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,400 if I've awoken something in this woman 355 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,768 that should have remained asleep. 356 00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:58,238 Or not. 357 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,807 Authorities are baffled as violence consumes the city. 358 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,276 We now go live to a fire at the Chilean embassy-- 359 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,778 There is no way this is because of us. 360 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,813 This is a coincidence! 361 00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:09,416 Me finding a dollar on laundry day is a coincidence. 362 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,285 This is a city melting down 'cause we hit the brakes 363 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,955 on a criminal money train. 364 00:14:13,988 --> 00:14:17,290 Ugh! I tried to tell you! 365 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,725 I mean, not very hard, though. 366 00:14:18,759 --> 00:14:21,728 I guess, deep down, I wanted the city to burn. 367 00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:25,332 The Agency. Hmm, I'll check. 368 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,935 Do we care if the yakuza kills the Australian ambassador? 369 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:30,004 Yes! But we'll call him back. 370 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,505 Start with the toes, please. 371 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,406 Ray, what have you got? 372 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,776 A tangled web of criminal nonsense. 373 00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,945 We're bribing gun runners to arm militias 374 00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:40,347 so they won't steal guns from other militias 375 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,582 who we're also bribing to protect banks 376 00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,851 'cause the banks are full of money from our other bribes. 377 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,988 God, just tell me you have a solution. 378 00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:48,355 I do. You're gonna hate it. 379 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,490 Ugh. Seriously? 380 00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:51,926 All roads lead to Gary. 381 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,095 We pay him, it buys us time on the others. 382 00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:56,030 God damn it, fucking Gary. 383 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,598 Hey, I heard my name. Did you decide to bribe me yet? 384 00:14:58,632 --> 00:15:00,935 No! And stop being so cavalier about it. 385 00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,669 Copy that. I'll be out here. 386 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,438 Also, I opened a new oat milk. Is that cool? 387 00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:06,706 What's the big deal? 388 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,376 A bribe's just a service, like a haircut 389 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,777 or a dog's haircut. 390 00:15:10,811 --> 00:15:11,946 The big deal is, I'm trying 391 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,547 to do things aboveboard, all right? 392 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,615 And I'd rather die than betray my principles. 393 00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:19,553 I think that just became an option. 394 00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:24,959 Guys, I think this is him! 395 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,661 -Great, shoot him and let's go. -The mission is to capture him! 396 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,031 You can't yell at me; I just got out of the hospital. 397 00:15:30,064 --> 00:15:32,632 Uh, what's this hospital's policy on kidnapping? 398 00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:34,902 Because those nurses don't look thrilled. 399 00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:36,904 Hey, those are the guys I saw at the party. 400 00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:38,705 I think they're after El Cambiante too. 401 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:41,042 Which makes us allies, right? 402 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:45,046 I'm not supposed to jump yet! 403 00:15:45,079 --> 00:15:47,747 My calf implants are combing into the backs of my knees! 404 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,050 Who the hell are these guys? 405 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:51,018 And why do they get guns? 406 00:15:51,052 --> 00:15:52,819 Archer? What are you doing? 407 00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:54,155 Immortal, remember? 408 00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,023 Maybe he is. All the bullets are missing-- 409 00:15:56,057 --> 00:15:58,059 -Ow! -Yeah, he's not. 410 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,831 Out the back! Go! 411 00:16:04,865 --> 00:16:06,167 Still think you're immortal? 412 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,902 Obviously. Look! 413 00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:09,703 The bullet went straight through. 414 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,505 I'm made of non-vital organs and luck! 415 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,709 But I am losing a lot of blood. 416 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,185 - Did we lose them? - Lose them? 417 00:16:24,218 --> 00:16:25,585 It's a mid-sized hospital, 418 00:16:25,619 --> 00:16:27,387 not the Trastevere neighborhood of Rome. 419 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:30,057 What? It's an easy place to lose people. 420 00:16:30,091 --> 00:16:31,758 Also, it seems like we lost them. 421 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,094 Ooh! Not these guys, though. 422 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,531 Guys, the small penis hospital is, uh, down the road. 423 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,034 Can we not taunt the men with guns 424 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,701 while we're all so injured? 425 00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:44,571 A positive attitude is the key to recovery, Cyril. 426 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,909 Although I'm feeling pretty negative about this dead end. 427 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,647 Do all your missions end 428 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,415 with you cornered and waiting to die? 429 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,584 Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot of 'em. 430 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,753 But I do have one idea. 431 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,791 -What the hell, Archer? -He was too short! 432 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,493 So he had to die? 433 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,628 The target we chased on the zipline was my height. 434 00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:11,464 Whoever's under those bandages isn't the same person. 435 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,767 I'm... pretty sure. 436 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,138 Wait. I want this bastard to know it was us. 437 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,440 Whoa. This place is really good. 438 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,012 El Cambiante? 439 00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:27,148 He looks... the same? 440 00:17:27,181 --> 00:17:29,849 Yeah, not to antagonize the man with a gun... 441 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,785 He said as he prepared to. 442 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,853 ...but I'd get a refund on that new face. 443 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,190 This one looks just as ugly as the old one. 444 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,757 You-you know what? That's not fair. 445 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,626 You're actually very handsome. 446 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,462 I'm just going through a lot this weekend, and--ow! 447 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,199 I postponed my surgery when I realized I was being hunted. 448 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,766 It felt like a good opportunity 449 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,768 to eliminate potential assassins. 450 00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:50,670 Good idea. What? 451 00:17:50,704 --> 00:17:52,772 You can't argue with five dead assassins. 452 00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:54,976 Soon to be... 453 00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:56,043 ...uh, uh, ten. 454 00:17:56,077 --> 00:17:57,811 Technically not assassins. 455 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,113 We're here to capture you. 456 00:18:01,048 --> 00:18:03,650 You thought you'd get away with it? 457 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,851 I don't even know who you are. 458 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,553 -He sounds Russian! -No! 459 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,122 He doesn't sound like anything! 460 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,824 We can't place his accent and we didn't see his face, 461 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,126 and if he and his friends left, 462 00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,961 we'd forget they were ever even here! 463 00:18:13,995 --> 00:18:16,629 -I mean, I wouldn't forget. -Oh, my God, woman. 464 00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,798 Oh, God, it's fine, all right? We'll pay you. 465 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,168 Yes, this time. And then what? 466 00:18:21,202 --> 00:18:24,071 We have to come back again when you don't pay next time? 467 00:18:24,105 --> 00:18:27,640 You think it's easy renting van for all these men? 468 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,143 You die now. 469 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,877 Excuse me? Hi. Gary. 470 00:18:30,911 --> 00:18:33,014 -I think maybe I can help. -You can die. 471 00:18:33,047 --> 00:18:36,017 - I can! And then we all can. - Awesome. 472 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,752 You're the Chechen revolutionaries, right? 473 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,055 Mm, I'll take that stony silence as a yes. 474 00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:43,057 And I happen to know the Chechnians 475 00:18:43,090 --> 00:18:45,259 are currently in debt to the Irish Republican Army, 476 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,827 which owes a favor to the Albanian Conservative Party, 477 00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:50,097 whose secrets are being kept by the Boston Mafia, 478 00:18:50,131 --> 00:18:53,000 who owe a favor to me, Gary. 479 00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:55,568 Which is all to say, I think we could clear all this up 480 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,238 without any violence at all... 481 00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:59,073 if I got my bribe. 482 00:19:00,908 --> 00:19:02,575 I get what you're trying to do here. 483 00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:04,844 Maybe start by cutting one bribe a month? 484 00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:07,014 Like the janitors at the Costa Rican embassy? 485 00:19:07,048 --> 00:19:08,581 Because they're all dead now. 486 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:09,849 See you next month. 487 00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:11,751 Well, that's one less bribe. 488 00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:14,188 Do we think Gary's single? 489 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:17,024 What? He's confident and mysterious. 490 00:19:17,058 --> 00:19:19,260 Oh, please, like you wouldn't. 491 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,862 Does no one have a weapon? 492 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,697 I've got Cyril's stupid fan. 493 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,566 Hey! I put thought into that gift. 494 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,269 Yeah. The thought was bad. 495 00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:30,271 Does anyone else hear screeching? 496 00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:33,606 We made a mistake! We made a terrible mistake! 497 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:40,613 I can feel God! 498 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,222 Ugh. Gross. But lucky! 499 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:50,224 We need to go before their brains fully merge. 500 00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:56,063 After them! And don't shoot the massage table, okay? 501 00:19:56,097 --> 00:19:57,965 I have an appointment later. 502 00:20:03,938 --> 00:20:05,605 Hey, buddy! 503 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,341 Namast-ay down. 504 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:19,086 My face! 505 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,122 Oh, my God, her face fell off! 506 00:20:21,155 --> 00:20:22,622 I told you! 507 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:25,092 Oh, my God, that is grisly. 508 00:20:25,126 --> 00:20:27,261 Someone get her a bag. And nobody step on-- 509 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,130 Oh, never mind. 510 00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:32,133 Oh, the implants are going up into my thighs! 511 00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,069 Or I'll just get the surgery in Brazil. 512 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,772 - Archer! - Little busy. 513 00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,875 Which I know seems antithetical to a steam room, 514 00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:43,144 but here we are. 515 00:20:43,177 --> 00:20:45,112 Yes. Here we are. 516 00:20:45,146 --> 00:20:47,314 In the appendix? 517 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:49,649 That's how Houdini died. 518 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:51,784 I looked you up, Sterling Archer, 519 00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,288 after our encounter on the zipline. 520 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:57,291 Poor, broken spy. 521 00:20:57,324 --> 00:21:00,127 An old man in a young man's game. 522 00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:02,795 Why not do the respectable thing 523 00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:04,265 and die now? 524 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,800 Tiny fan! 525 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,336 Huh? 526 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,387 You know, I saw it differently in my head. 527 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,128 No one tell Cyril his gift was useful. 528 00:21:36,130 --> 00:21:37,331 Mission accomplished. 529 00:21:37,364 --> 00:21:39,066 Why are you holding the fan? 530 00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:41,435 Because I felt like holding something stupid. 531 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,003 But thank you for the gift. 532 00:21:43,037 --> 00:21:44,837 Three on one? Nice work. 533 00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:48,108 More like all in a day's work for the world's greatest-- 534 00:21:50,411 --> 00:21:52,279 ...greatest spy. 535 00:21:52,313 --> 00:21:53,447 That probably would have been more convincing 536 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,115 if I hadn't coughed up blood. 537 00:21:55,149 --> 00:21:57,017 You know, bud, maybe this is the mission 538 00:21:57,051 --> 00:21:59,019 where you learn not to rely so much on luck. 539 00:21:59,053 --> 00:22:01,455 Are you kidding? This was my luckiest mission yet. 540 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,457 You got shot, like, a dozen times. 541 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,426 Yeah, in a hospital. 542 00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:07,261 Whew, whoa, hey. 543 00:22:07,294 --> 00:22:08,795 See if they can put in an extra liver 544 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:09,896 while they're in there, okay? 545 00:22:11,432 --> 00:22:12,799 Archer out. 546 00:22:15,336 --> 00:22:17,438 Yeah, so should we be worried 547 00:22:17,471 --> 00:22:19,806 about whatever Dr. Spencer turned into? 548 00:22:24,511 --> 00:22:25,479 No. 549 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:48,969 Made in Georgia.