1 00:00:11,122 --> 00:00:13,160 [soft jazz music] 2 00:00:13,193 --> 00:00:15,163 [bell jingles] 3 00:00:16,567 --> 00:00:18,637 Uh, name? 4 00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:22,679 [screaming] 5 00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,315 [Cyril] Oh, my God. 6 00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:26,152 Well, that's a grim way to start the morning. 7 00:00:26,185 --> 00:00:27,656 With coffee? Seems normal. 8 00:00:27,689 --> 00:00:29,693 With watching an assassination. 9 00:00:29,726 --> 00:00:31,797 Technically, we don't know that it was an assassination. 10 00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,868 A drone shot a man in the head! 11 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:36,306 Which makes it an execution, Cyril. 12 00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:39,178 It's only an assassination if he was famous. 13 00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,749 Connor Fairchild, former low-level 14 00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:42,418 security guard at IIA. 15 00:00:42,451 --> 00:00:44,489 Ugh, he was always rude to me. 16 00:00:44,523 --> 00:00:46,694 Well, who can't come in the commissary 17 00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:49,098 without their badge now, Mr. Connor? 18 00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:52,338 Is that too dark? 19 00:00:52,371 --> 00:00:54,142 Connor is one of a dozen former IIA employees 20 00:00:54,175 --> 00:00:56,547 to be killed by drones in the last 24 hours. 21 00:00:56,580 --> 00:00:58,618 My memory is a little hazy-- 22 00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:00,522 Probably from all the concussions. 23 00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:02,592 -And drinking. -And elderly dementia. 24 00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:05,832 My memory is a little hazy, but didn't we beat IIA? 25 00:01:05,865 --> 00:01:07,769 Yes, the organization was dismantled. 26 00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,573 But until now, most of the employees 27 00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:11,476 survived, including us. 28 00:01:11,510 --> 00:01:13,280 Technically, I was never an employee. 29 00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:15,417 I always fill out my start paperwork incorrectly 30 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:16,754 so I don't have to pay taxes. 31 00:01:16,787 --> 00:01:19,225 You know that's not how taxes work, right? 32 00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:21,597 All I know is, I haven't paid taxes in 20 years 33 00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,467 or gone to the dentist. 34 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,170 My point is, someone has a grudge 35 00:01:25,203 --> 00:01:26,841 against ex-IIA employees. 36 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,379 We need to figure out who that is and stop them. 37 00:01:29,412 --> 00:01:32,318 And until then, we keep our heads on a swivel. 38 00:01:32,351 --> 00:01:34,556 -[Ray] Hmm. -[Lana] Hmm? 39 00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:36,426 Okay, don't shoot the messenger. 40 00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:37,763 That's the drone's job. 41 00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:40,568 But while I was secretly temping at IIA-- 42 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,371 -[coughs] Double agent. -Bless you. 43 00:01:42,404 --> 00:01:45,578 Fabian asked me to place an order for, let's call it, 44 00:01:45,611 --> 00:01:47,448 5,000 weaponized smart drones. 45 00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:48,651 [all] What? 46 00:01:48,684 --> 00:01:50,655 We don't know that it's related. 47 00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:52,458 But y'all, it's probably related. 48 00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,730 Oh, my God, I do not have time for this. 49 00:01:54,763 --> 00:01:57,636 The UN is holding hearings today on private spy agencies, 50 00:01:57,669 --> 00:01:59,305 and I've gotta make a presentation 51 00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:00,809 about all the good work that we've done. 52 00:02:00,842 --> 00:02:02,779 Ooh, I wouldn't show them these videos. 53 00:02:02,812 --> 00:02:05,719 We need to make sure there are no new videos. 54 00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,622 And it seems like there's only one person 55 00:02:07,655 --> 00:02:08,624 who can help us sort this out. 56 00:02:09,893 --> 00:02:11,663 The dead barista? 57 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:17,676 Well, well, well, look what the cat vomited up. 58 00:02:17,709 --> 00:02:20,280 Um, that's not how that goes. 59 00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:23,220 Idiot. 60 00:02:23,253 --> 00:02:26,292 [main title theme] 61 00:02:26,325 --> 00:02:33,239 ♪ ♪ 62 00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,270 Sterling Archer. You look old. 63 00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:07,709 And you look imprisoned. 64 00:03:07,742 --> 00:03:10,247 [conspiratorial jazz music] 65 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,817 Is that a squash court? 66 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:14,556 -What kind of prison is this? -Uh, Swiss. 67 00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:17,829 Remind me to get imprisoned for war crimes in Switzerland. 68 00:03:17,862 --> 00:03:20,969 I mean, if I commit war crimes, which I won't. 69 00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,706 Can we make this fast? 70 00:03:22,739 --> 00:03:25,444 We can only reserve the courts for an hour. 71 00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:27,381 I don't believe we've met. 72 00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:29,586 Zara Khan, formerly Interpol, currently top agent 73 00:03:29,619 --> 00:03:31,791 -at the Agency. -What? Says who? 74 00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:32,993 My achievements, dumbass. 75 00:03:33,026 --> 00:03:34,563 Can we focus? 76 00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:36,299 Any reason why drones might be murdering 77 00:03:36,332 --> 00:03:37,836 everybody who worked for IIA? 78 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:41,577 What? Oh, no-fault severance. 79 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,446 Should I punch you before or after 80 00:03:43,479 --> 00:03:44,750 you explain what that means? 81 00:03:44,783 --> 00:03:48,323 At IIA, whenever we needed to cut ties 82 00:03:48,356 --> 00:03:49,960 with a troublesome employee, 83 00:03:49,993 --> 00:03:52,031 we'd check a little box in their file 84 00:03:52,064 --> 00:03:54,001 called "no-fault severance." 85 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,839 And pop, out flew a drone. 86 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,578 Whatever second-rate government bureaucrat 87 00:03:58,611 --> 00:04:00,682 that's now liquidating IIA must-- 88 00:04:00,715 --> 00:04:02,586 -ow! -I got tired of waiting. 89 00:04:02,619 --> 00:04:04,322 But also, how do we turn them off? 90 00:04:04,355 --> 00:04:05,625 You can't. 91 00:04:05,658 --> 00:04:07,328 The drones are controlled by an automated 92 00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:08,965 facility in Liechtenstein. 93 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,902 And I'm the only one with access. 94 00:04:10,935 --> 00:04:12,438 Great, you're coming with us. 95 00:04:12,471 --> 00:04:14,843 One, not your call. Two, no, he's not. 96 00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,647 Three, what achievements, Zara? 97 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,751 I'm afraid you won't get past 98 00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,522 the fingerprint scanner without me. 99 00:04:20,555 --> 00:04:21,891 We will if I cut off your hand. 100 00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:23,628 Well, there's also a retinal scanner. 101 00:04:23,661 --> 00:04:24,730 And your eye. 102 00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:25,798 And the voice identification-- 103 00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,334 And your vocal chords. 104 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,438 At a certain point, bringing him seems easier 105 00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:30,608 than bringing all these pieces. 106 00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:32,011 We'll put them in a bag. 107 00:04:32,044 --> 00:04:35,450 I'm happy to help without being dismembered. 108 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:39,893 As a former IIA employee, I'm a drone target myself. 109 00:04:39,926 --> 00:04:42,498 And I'd prefer to enjoy my daily bike ride 110 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,903 without being gunned down from the sky. 111 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,740 Daily bike ride? 112 00:04:46,773 --> 00:04:48,945 How the hell is your prison life better than my free life? 113 00:04:48,978 --> 00:04:50,480 We still have to break him out. 114 00:04:50,514 --> 00:04:52,384 This is a Swiss prison. 115 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,858 Anyone with Interpol ID can sign me out for the weekend. 116 00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,031 Well, God bless Swiss prisons. 117 00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,535 Best in the world. 118 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,739 They really focus on rehabilitating 119 00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:04,877 -the whole person, you know? -[handcuffs ratchet] 120 00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:07,381 -What is this? -Insurance. 121 00:05:07,414 --> 00:05:09,519 This stays on until you're back in prison. 122 00:05:09,552 --> 00:05:11,523 The whole mission? What if you gotta take a leak? 123 00:05:11,556 --> 00:05:13,694 -We'll hold it. -A wise precaution. 124 00:05:13,727 --> 00:05:15,430 But will it be enough? 125 00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:18,069 Even now, an army of IIA loyalists 126 00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:21,409 is no doubt working to secure my freedom. 127 00:05:21,442 --> 00:05:22,377 -Hmm. In that case... -[handcuffs ratchet] 128 00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:24,649 I immediately have to pee. 129 00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:34,101 [drone whirring] 130 00:05:35,136 --> 00:05:36,907 Damn it, window seat. 131 00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,811 -Pam, go across the aisle. -No! 132 00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:40,080 I'm not taking the window seat 133 00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:41,784 with killer drones on the loose. 134 00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,086 Also, I still have to pee. 135 00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,823 Maybe you should have thought about this 136 00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:46,961 before you handcuffed yourself to two people? 137 00:05:46,994 --> 00:05:48,831 Don't tell me what I should have thought of. 138 00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:50,568 But yeah, maybe. 139 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:53,674 If it's any consolation, we won't be on the train long. 140 00:05:53,707 --> 00:05:55,712 You seriously think people are coming to help you? 141 00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:56,880 Why wouldn't they? 142 00:05:56,913 --> 00:05:58,584 Yeah, you know, you weren't 143 00:05:58,617 --> 00:06:00,153 the world's greatest boss, 144 00:06:00,186 --> 00:06:02,993 what with ratting out a lot of people on your way to prison, 145 00:06:03,026 --> 00:06:04,997 and now sending drones to kill 'em. 146 00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:07,134 Yeah, not great. 147 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:08,971 The board sent those drones. 148 00:06:09,004 --> 00:06:12,111 And I only ratted as necessary. 149 00:06:12,144 --> 00:06:14,448 You can fight about it while I'm in the john. 150 00:06:14,481 --> 00:06:16,452 -Where's the handcuff key? -[laughs] Oh, I don't have one. 151 00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:17,722 What, why? 152 00:06:17,755 --> 00:06:19,458 I'm committing to the method, Pam. 153 00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:21,897 The first thing a rescuer will ask for is a handcuff key. 154 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,468 -Or a bone saw. -No one carries those around. 155 00:06:24,502 --> 00:06:26,607 Fine, I guess we're all going to the bathroom. 156 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,511 Oh, God, no. 157 00:06:28,544 --> 00:06:29,880 I'm not happy about it, either. 158 00:06:29,913 --> 00:06:32,484 Hey, order us drinks-- lots of drinks. 159 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,623 Ooh, what looks good? 160 00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:36,125 [Lana] Ugh, I really don't care. 161 00:06:36,158 --> 00:06:38,163 [Cyril] Well, I do. 162 00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:39,933 It's my first time talking to the United Nations. 163 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,605 Or-or is it before the United Nations? 164 00:06:42,638 --> 00:06:45,477 Do we address the nations? Oh, my God. Lana! 165 00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,014 Just let me do the talking, okay? 166 00:06:47,047 --> 00:06:48,884 And relax, all right? 167 00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:51,189 The UN never actually does anything. 168 00:06:51,222 --> 00:06:55,598 I mean, these people are total idiots. [laughs] 169 00:06:55,631 --> 00:06:57,067 Do you need to turn this on or-- 170 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,171 It's already on. 171 00:06:59,204 --> 00:07:02,645 [cameras shutters clicking] 172 00:07:02,678 --> 00:07:05,618 Hello, nations. 173 00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,021 Nope, that feels wrong. 174 00:07:07,054 --> 00:07:09,058 [Pam] I'm trying my best, you dicks. 175 00:07:09,091 --> 00:07:10,928 I don't think these bathrooms were designed 176 00:07:10,961 --> 00:07:12,532 for three people handcuffed together. 177 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,636 And I don't think sarcasm makes this process faster. 178 00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:16,039 Are you done? 179 00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:18,043 -[Pam] Haven't even started yet. -What? 180 00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,080 [Pam] Tell this guy to stop peeking through the cracks! 181 00:07:20,113 --> 00:07:23,688 I can't help where my head is based on where my arms are. 182 00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:26,660 [tense music] 183 00:07:26,693 --> 00:07:31,503 ♪ ♪ 184 00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:33,774 Whatever you're doing in there, 185 00:07:33,807 --> 00:07:35,978 I promise there's an easier way. 186 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,982 [Pam] How's this way? 187 00:07:38,015 --> 00:07:40,087 Huh, are we slowing down? 188 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,592 Yes, it's the end of the line. 189 00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,930 Carlotta, my loyal number two, 190 00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:48,203 come to my unnecessary but grateful res-- 191 00:07:48,236 --> 00:07:50,107 -Someone's in here! -We gotta get out of here! 192 00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:52,946 After Pamela washes her hands. 193 00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:54,783 I didn't touch anything. 194 00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:56,687 Carlotta, watch your fire. 195 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,559 She's shooting at you, moron. Come on. 196 00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:02,699 -[grunts] what's the problem? -I'm not leaving. 197 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,536 You got three seconds, asshole. 198 00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:06,005 And I'm shooting your elbow in one. 199 00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:08,878 Okay, okay. Carlotta, they're trying to-- 200 00:08:08,911 --> 00:08:11,181 [all grunting] 201 00:08:13,252 --> 00:08:15,758 -[Archer] You're welcome. -For what? 202 00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:18,597 -For rescuing you. -They were rescuing me. 203 00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:21,035 What? They were trying to kill you. 204 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,741 Says the man who pulled me out of a moving train. 205 00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:25,845 Well, you're alive, aren't you? 206 00:08:25,878 --> 00:08:28,016 Guys, I don't think this tree is... 207 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,955 [all screaming] 208 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,223 Nope, it's not. 209 00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:39,171 They were obviously trying to assassinate you. 210 00:08:39,204 --> 00:08:42,879 What possible reason would my employees have to kill me? 211 00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:44,248 I think we're clear for now. 212 00:08:44,281 --> 00:08:45,585 Uh, how about, you made their lives miserable 213 00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:47,187 and they hate you? 214 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,360 The brightest emerald is forged in the hardest granite. 215 00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:52,665 Hey, can we focus on the real problem? 216 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,001 Being lost in the woods? 217 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,339 Hmm, the ex-IIA hit squad coming for us? 218 00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:58,276 -The drones? -Oh, right. 219 00:08:58,309 --> 00:09:00,280 Yeah, and if that hit squad-- 220 00:09:00,313 --> 00:09:01,917 AKA rescue squad. 221 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:04,021 AKA, you're delusional. 222 00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,691 If the hit squad kills Fabian, 223 00:09:05,724 --> 00:09:06,994 he can't deactivate the drones, 224 00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:08,631 and they'll kill all of us. 225 00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:11,135 So by the transitive property, 226 00:09:11,168 --> 00:09:13,006 you must keep me alive. 227 00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,843 That's not the transitive property. 228 00:09:14,876 --> 00:09:16,980 It's a contrapositive conditional. 229 00:09:17,013 --> 00:09:18,851 Well, on the bright side, Ray and Zara 230 00:09:18,884 --> 00:09:20,153 are probably already coming for us. 231 00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:22,024 [Ray] Oh, my God! 232 00:09:22,057 --> 00:09:24,028 Look at those mountains. 233 00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:26,132 -Um, Zara? -[Zara gulps, gasps] 234 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,002 The drinks on this train are free. 235 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:29,706 I got one for you, but then I drank it. 236 00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,610 These are for me. 237 00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:32,979 Hey, whenever y'all are done whispering 238 00:09:33,012 --> 00:09:35,283 and pointing at shit, can you bring me a mimosa? 239 00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:36,620 [plates clatter] 240 00:09:36,653 --> 00:09:38,223 Um, where are they going? 241 00:09:38,256 --> 00:09:40,126 [Pam] To Liechtenstein! 242 00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:42,197 We're walking to another country? 243 00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:43,868 Unless you have a better idea. 244 00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:45,638 Uh, yeah, let the drones kill us. 245 00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:47,374 I have an even better idea. 246 00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:49,880 I defeat you in unarmed combat 247 00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:52,384 and reunite with my cadre of faithfuls. 248 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,823 Get your hand off my wrist. 249 00:09:54,856 --> 00:09:59,131 I believe the parlance is, compel me, brother. 250 00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,335 Can you not while I'm attached to you? 251 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,641 [drone whirring] 252 00:10:03,674 --> 00:10:05,677 Any chance that's a totally unrelated drone? 253 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,651 I mean, some. 254 00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:09,719 Run! 255 00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:11,789 [all screaming] 256 00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:16,199 Can we please stop falling off things? 257 00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:18,002 Oh, boy, they're coming. 258 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:20,073 Fabian, I hope you can hold your breath for three minutes 259 00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:22,277 because that's how long I'm holding you underwater. 260 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:23,814 That won't work, I'm afraid. 261 00:10:23,847 --> 00:10:26,085 These drones are top of the line. 262 00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:29,325 They cannot be fooled by water or darkness or disguise. 263 00:10:29,358 --> 00:10:31,830 They are relentless and unbamboozable. 264 00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:33,466 Maybe use a less silly word for the drones 265 00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:34,970 -coming to kill us. -Screw the words. 266 00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:36,405 What do we do? 267 00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:38,443 Make peace with the god you choose, 268 00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:40,748 for the day of judgment is at hand. 269 00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:43,285 [drone beeping and whirring] 270 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,261 [laughs] We're alive! 271 00:10:47,294 --> 00:10:49,298 Uh, although, I guess this could also be hell. 272 00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:50,735 What just happened? 273 00:10:50,768 --> 00:10:52,371 My guess, Ray bought shitty drones 274 00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:54,108 that couldn't detect us through the mud. 275 00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:56,713 But he spent the entire drone budget. 276 00:10:57,949 --> 00:10:59,151 Oh, what they don't know 277 00:10:59,184 --> 00:11:00,921 can't kill them won't kill them. 278 00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,761 [robot] More daiquiri, Mr. Gillette? 279 00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:05,765 What do you think, dummy? 280 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,904 Oi, more of these and these and some crisps, yeah? 281 00:11:08,937 --> 00:11:11,375 For me and those snobs across the aisle 282 00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,179 who clearly think they're better than me. 283 00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,050 And how long does it take three people 284 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,487 handcuffed together to use the bathroom? 285 00:11:17,521 --> 00:11:21,128 [Cyril] Um, this doesn't feel administrative. 286 00:11:21,161 --> 00:11:24,368 Secretary General Hernandez, a pleasure, as always. 287 00:11:24,401 --> 00:11:27,240 [clears throat] I wish I could say the same. 288 00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:28,877 Yeah, what's the deal here, guys? 289 00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:31,082 I thought this was basically a meet-and-greet. 290 00:11:31,115 --> 00:11:33,052 This is a disciplinary hearing 291 00:11:33,085 --> 00:11:35,791 to determine if independent spy agencies 292 00:11:35,824 --> 00:11:39,365 will be allowed to continue operating on the global stage. 293 00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:41,402 What? And you're telling me now? 294 00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,206 [Hernandez] I told your secretary. 295 00:11:43,239 --> 00:11:45,477 [Cheryl] Uh, I'm an office administrator. 296 00:11:45,511 --> 00:11:47,481 Cheryl, what are you doing here? 297 00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,084 I'm a surprise witness. 298 00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,788 A surprise witness for what? 299 00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:51,990 The United Nations. 300 00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:53,527 We're in their house, silly. 301 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,363 So the surprise is against us? 302 00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:57,301 Well, they offered me immunity. 303 00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,104 Immunity from what? 304 00:11:59,137 --> 00:12:00,941 We haven't done anything wrong. 305 00:12:00,974 --> 00:12:04,181 -Well... -Nothing legally wrong. 306 00:12:04,214 --> 00:12:06,452 Oh, my God, Lana, when someone offers you immunity, 307 00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:08,323 you take it. [laughs] 308 00:12:08,356 --> 00:12:10,093 And all I had to do was tell him all the bad things 309 00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:11,262 we ever did ever. 310 00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,532 Shall we begin? 311 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,268 -[Archer] No. -[Pam] No? 312 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:15,470 [Archer] No! You already had your chance 313 00:12:15,504 --> 00:12:17,174 to pee on the train. 314 00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:18,544 My chance to pee with the door open 315 00:12:18,577 --> 00:12:20,213 that got interrupted by a gunfight. 316 00:12:20,246 --> 00:12:21,449 More than some people get. 317 00:12:21,482 --> 00:12:23,186 Do those people also have to hold it 318 00:12:23,219 --> 00:12:25,323 while falling out of a moving train 319 00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,227 and then slogging through a river covered in mud 320 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,564 that they can't clean off 321 00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,367 or a cheap-ass drone will come and kill them? 322 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,104 I also have to pee. 323 00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:35,110 Don't worry. You'll be peeing very soon. 324 00:12:35,143 --> 00:12:37,047 Carlotta, thank goodness. 325 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,253 Tell my friends you're here to rescue me and then kill them. 326 00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:42,324 Rescue? I'm here to kill you. 327 00:12:42,357 --> 00:12:44,028 You, them? 328 00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,566 You as in you, you pompous, abusive, 329 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,904 culturally ambiguous middle manager. 330 00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:50,306 Middle manager? 331 00:12:50,339 --> 00:12:52,244 I led the company! 332 00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:53,814 That's what you got from that? 333 00:12:53,847 --> 00:12:55,818 Jesus, this is why everyone hates you. 334 00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:58,557 Carlotta, I assure you, I did my best. 335 00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:01,362 Anything you disagreed with, that was the board. 336 00:13:01,395 --> 00:13:02,932 There was no board! 337 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,403 You just made them up to have someone to blame 338 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,207 for all your bad choices. 339 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,244 Whoa, that's actually a good idea. 340 00:13:09,277 --> 00:13:12,284 Technically, the board did exist for a week. 341 00:13:12,317 --> 00:13:13,520 And then had them killed. 342 00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:15,156 Tell them I say hello. 343 00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:16,927 Wait, he's the only one who can stop the drones 344 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,329 that are coming to kill us all. 345 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,398 I'll take that risk. 346 00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:21,302 [gunfire] 347 00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,141 -Ow! God damn it. -Sorry. 348 00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:25,978 [tense music] 349 00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,182 [drones whirring] 350 00:13:28,215 --> 00:13:29,317 [Carlotta] Take it down! 351 00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,531 What the hell, Archer? 352 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,033 Sorry, it was instinct. 353 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,169 To save me? 354 00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:40,039 God, no, to save the mission. 355 00:13:40,072 --> 00:13:42,578 Um, guys, do I have as little mud on my face 356 00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:44,114 as you do on yours? 357 00:13:44,147 --> 00:13:46,252 How could I possibly make that comparison? 358 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,555 [drone beeping and whirring] 359 00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:48,590 [Pam] Go! 360 00:13:50,326 --> 00:13:51,328 [all screaming] 361 00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:57,174 Okay, state your name for the record. 362 00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:59,011 -Uh, pass. -[Hernandez] What? 363 00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:00,447 I just prefer not to. 364 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,484 -You understand. -I don't. 365 00:14:02,518 --> 00:14:05,223 Well, the surprise witness is surprising the surprisers. 366 00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:06,660 No one at the office is answering. 367 00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:08,129 We are not ready for this. 368 00:14:08,162 --> 00:14:09,364 Lana, our record speaks for itself. 369 00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:10,668 We do good in the world. 370 00:14:10,701 --> 00:14:12,204 And Cheryl is wearing them down. 371 00:14:12,237 --> 00:14:14,007 State your name for the record! 372 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,212 Let's just move on to the evidence. 373 00:14:16,245 --> 00:14:19,251 Can you confirm that this is the work of the Agency? 374 00:14:19,284 --> 00:14:21,422 [Cheryl] Yep. Uh-huh. 375 00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:22,625 Uh, probably. 376 00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:24,428 [laughs] Yeah. 377 00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:27,535 In our defense, that was full of hydrogen. 378 00:14:27,568 --> 00:14:29,371 Oh, God, I was wrong about our record. 379 00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:31,375 -We're monsters. -Can you not? 380 00:14:31,408 --> 00:14:33,079 [Pam] Not what? 381 00:14:33,112 --> 00:14:35,584 Pam, can you not look at me while we're doing this? 382 00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:37,254 You choose the handcuffs. 383 00:14:37,287 --> 00:14:40,059 I chose where I look. Boi-oi-oing. 384 00:14:40,092 --> 00:14:41,495 [Fabian] They all hate me. 385 00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:42,632 After everything I did for them. 386 00:14:42,665 --> 00:14:44,301 [laughs] Okay. 387 00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:46,172 On the bright side, we made it to Liechtenstein. 388 00:14:46,205 --> 00:14:48,176 Pants up and never speak of this on three. 389 00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,013 One, two, three. 390 00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:51,550 Hey, I hear cars that way. 391 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,386 -We can find a ride. -[Fabian grunts] 392 00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:55,223 Seriously? We're almost there. 393 00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:56,458 What are you doing, Fabian? 394 00:14:56,491 --> 00:14:58,229 I'm giving up. 395 00:14:58,262 --> 00:14:59,599 Let the drones take me. 396 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,139 For what is life without the respect of my peers? 397 00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:05,076 Hey, bud, you have my respect. 398 00:15:05,109 --> 00:15:07,113 [Fabian] I don't really care about that. 399 00:15:07,146 --> 00:15:09,719 [somber music] 400 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:12,357 ♪ ♪ 401 00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:15,196 -You have my respect, Fabian. -Really? 402 00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:17,200 Yeah, you know, I still hate you, 403 00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,371 but you're a semi-worthy adversary. 404 00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,375 I feel the same way. 405 00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:24,314 In spite of everything, we're not so different. 406 00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:26,686 No, I didn't say that. We're very, very different. 407 00:15:26,719 --> 00:15:30,528 You handcuffed us together so we could bond. 408 00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:34,468 Two lone wolves, learning to survive as a pack. 409 00:15:34,502 --> 00:15:36,438 [howls] 410 00:15:36,471 --> 00:15:38,476 I'm coming around to death by drone. 411 00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,413 Oh, shit, I hear something else coming around. 412 00:15:40,446 --> 00:15:43,286 [motorcycles rumbling] 413 00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:45,223 [Archer] Ha, ha, found our ride. 414 00:15:45,256 --> 00:15:47,060 You mean the guys that wanna kill us? 415 00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:48,997 I have an idea. 416 00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:50,400 [dramatic music] 417 00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,703 [motorcyclist growls] 418 00:15:51,736 --> 00:15:54,308 [engine revving] 419 00:15:54,341 --> 00:15:56,178 [Fabian] You've been got--oh! 420 00:15:57,180 --> 00:16:00,420 [Pam laughs] Oh, damn, dude, that just popped right off. 421 00:16:00,453 --> 00:16:02,157 Why was his neck so weak? 422 00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,596 More importantly, how are we all fitting on this thing? 423 00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,768 [birds cawing] 424 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,139 -Hang on. -It's a short drive. 425 00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:12,344 Yeah, it better be. 426 00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:14,281 Oh, God, crows are pecking at the head. 427 00:16:14,314 --> 00:16:16,318 [vomits] 428 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,422 I forgive you, friend. 429 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,193 Great, 'cause I'm about to do it again. 430 00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:22,230 [vomiting] 431 00:16:26,104 --> 00:16:29,478 [jaunty polka music] 432 00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:32,484 Champagne to go. I mean, who does that? 433 00:16:32,518 --> 00:16:33,720 Switzerland does it. 434 00:16:33,753 --> 00:16:35,256 Can you believe the others spent 435 00:16:35,289 --> 00:16:37,460 the entire ride in the toilet? 436 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,768 I did until a second ago. 437 00:16:40,801 --> 00:16:44,709 [gunfire] 438 00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,111 -We're close. -How close? 439 00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:47,715 Time or distance? 440 00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,784 Will we die before we get there? 441 00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,721 That depends on one thing: 442 00:16:50,754 --> 00:16:53,125 the intimacy of our friendship. 443 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,531 Can you not say stuff like that while we're penis to penis? 444 00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:56,800 Just say nose to nose. 445 00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,104 [tense music] 446 00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:00,741 [grunts] 447 00:17:00,774 --> 00:17:03,279 I was born to an Albanian seamstress. 448 00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,083 It was a breech birth. 449 00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,655 For my fifth birthday, I was gifted a kitten by my uncle 450 00:17:07,688 --> 00:17:10,527 but gave it up upon discovering a mild allergy. 451 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,663 What the hell are you doing? 452 00:17:11,696 --> 00:17:13,800 [Fabian] Bonding by sharing traumas. 453 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,472 You call those traumas? I never knew my father. 454 00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:19,144 My mother started me drinking at eight to keep me quiet. 455 00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:22,417 I lost my virginity and my dog to a Brazilian au pair. 456 00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:25,758 My archrival killed and later dated my one true love. 457 00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:27,795 Thank you for sharing. I see you. 458 00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:29,431 I wasn't connecting. 459 00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:30,668 I was one-upping. 460 00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:37,614 ♪ ♪ 461 00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,194 Damn it, probably shouldn't have handcuffed my gun hand. 462 00:17:44,227 --> 00:17:46,198 I can help. Give me a gun. 463 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,503 Better idea, I'll just shoot myself in the face 464 00:17:48,536 --> 00:17:49,639 and cut out the middleman. 465 00:17:49,672 --> 00:17:51,408 Sterling, trust me. 466 00:17:52,244 --> 00:17:54,682 We're all about to die. Just give him the damn gun. 467 00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,217 Ugh. 468 00:17:58,322 --> 00:17:59,792 Bang, bang. 469 00:17:59,825 --> 00:18:01,696 Just kidding, my friend. 470 00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:08,408 ♪ ♪ 471 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,215 -[gun clicks] -I'm out. 472 00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:12,852 -[Pam] We're here. -Brake! 473 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:14,454 [tires squeal] 474 00:18:16,191 --> 00:18:17,895 [Fabian] Oh, dear God. 475 00:18:17,928 --> 00:18:20,166 What is happening with necks in this country? 476 00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,468 [Pam] We've got bigger problems. 477 00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,840 Specifically, lots of smaller problems. 478 00:18:23,873 --> 00:18:27,848 [drones whirring] 479 00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:30,587 -Are those-- -The good drones. 480 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:34,327 [drones beeping and whirring] 481 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,735 [gunfire] 482 00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:42,477 Well, if I have to die, I'm glad it's next to friends. 483 00:18:42,511 --> 00:18:44,147 Stop making this something it's not. 484 00:18:45,784 --> 00:18:48,288 Damn it, who buys a drone with knives? 485 00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:53,800 -[glass shatters] -[explosion] 486 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,370 The same person with two thumbs 487 00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:58,342 and no more champagne-- this guy. 488 00:18:58,375 --> 00:19:01,181 I am still drunk from the train. 489 00:19:01,214 --> 00:19:03,486 Get inside and deactivate these fuckers. 490 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,657 -[Cyril] Not cool. -[Hernandez] Excuse me? 491 00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:07,360 What are you doing? 492 00:19:07,393 --> 00:19:08,897 Speaking truth to power. 493 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,768 And the truth is, this isn't cool. 494 00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,638 You called us in here for an ambush. 495 00:19:12,671 --> 00:19:15,778 Mr. Figgis, this is a fact-finding meeting. 496 00:19:15,811 --> 00:19:17,882 Oh, yeah, with quorum of member states 497 00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:19,685 as required to adopt a resolution, 498 00:19:19,718 --> 00:19:21,488 per the UN rules of procedure? 499 00:19:22,257 --> 00:19:24,361 That's what I thought. You're grandstanding. 500 00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:25,531 You already know what you plan to do. 501 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,269 But guess what? We're the Agency. 502 00:19:28,302 --> 00:19:32,343 We're used to ambushes and bad odds and terrible situations. 503 00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:34,480 [gunfire] 504 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,659 That's where we thrive-- 505 00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:40,694 because we're not just the front lines. 506 00:19:40,727 --> 00:19:41,862 We're a step beyond that. 507 00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:48,543 If we do our job right, there never is a front line. 508 00:19:48,576 --> 00:19:50,681 So you can look at the screen and see our failures, sure. 509 00:19:50,714 --> 00:19:51,816 What the? 510 00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:53,419 But the world you're living in, 511 00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:55,423 the world you're living in right now, 512 00:19:55,456 --> 00:19:57,260 that is our success. 513 00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:58,261 -[yelps] -[explosion] 514 00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:02,705 I tried. Your turn. 515 00:20:02,738 --> 00:20:04,307 I don't have a gun. 516 00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:05,978 You can't shoot me! 517 00:20:06,011 --> 00:20:08,381 I never filled out my starting paperwork! 518 00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:10,821 [screams] 519 00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:16,966 ♪ ♪ 520 00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:18,235 You're welcome. 521 00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:23,412 What the hell happened? 522 00:20:23,445 --> 00:20:25,551 The door only allows one person through at a time. 523 00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:27,287 Getting pretty droney out here. 524 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,990 How do I deactivate the drones? 525 00:20:29,023 --> 00:20:31,595 You can't, not without my handprint for the scanner. 526 00:20:35,737 --> 00:20:38,610 We almost made it all the way, didn't we, friend? 527 00:20:38,643 --> 00:20:40,581 I couldn't have made it this far without you. 528 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,450 But I've got it from here, friend. 529 00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:43,720 [grunts] 530 00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:46,693 Ow! What the shit? 531 00:20:46,726 --> 00:20:48,462 [Archer] Thanks for the hand, friend. 532 00:20:48,495 --> 00:20:49,832 [laughs] 533 00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:51,569 [computer] Protocol deactivated. 534 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,882 [drone powers down] 535 00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,721 So how we all feeling? 536 00:21:00,754 --> 00:21:02,357 [Archer] Better than Fabian. 537 00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:04,795 Can you believe he doesn't wanna be friends anymore? 538 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:07,066 -You cut off his hand. -For a good cause. 539 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,570 And I gave it back to him. 540 00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:10,039 After you shot him the bird with it. 541 00:21:10,072 --> 00:21:11,475 That was Zara's idea. 542 00:21:11,509 --> 00:21:13,345 -[laughs] And it was hilarious. -Thanks. 543 00:21:13,378 --> 00:21:14,982 It's not my first dismemberment. 544 00:21:15,015 --> 00:21:16,653 Going forward, no more cutting off hands 545 00:21:16,686 --> 00:21:18,489 and taunting people with them. 546 00:21:18,523 --> 00:21:20,459 The UN came after us today, but we really dodged a bullet 547 00:21:20,492 --> 00:21:22,497 by saving them from bullets. 548 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,769 I just wanna say I was only siding 549 00:21:24,802 --> 00:21:26,405 with the UN for immunity. 550 00:21:26,438 --> 00:21:27,808 Yeah, you told us. 551 00:21:27,841 --> 00:21:29,545 Oh, no. Uh, guys? 552 00:21:29,578 --> 00:21:31,048 [Hernandez] In light of recent events, 553 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,352 it is with overwhelming support 554 00:21:33,385 --> 00:21:36,091 from our member nations that this council votes 555 00:21:36,124 --> 00:21:39,064 to declare all private independent 556 00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:41,803 spy agencies illegal. 557 00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:45,042 They will be given 30 days to disband. 558 00:21:45,075 --> 00:21:46,311 [all gasp] 559 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:52,022 Is that 30 calendar days or business days? 560 00:21:53,559 --> 00:21:55,028 [sighs] God damn it. 561 00:21:56,565 --> 00:22:03,512 ♪ ♪ 562 00:22:15,804 --> 00:22:18,910 Made in Georgia.