1
00:00:00,983 --> 00:00:02,318
MALORY: Splendid. Yes.
2
00:00:02,386 --> 00:00:05,521
And we'll work out all
the details when... hm?
3
00:00:06,082 --> 00:00:09,422
Yes, it sounds amazing, it really
does, but...
4
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,170
We'll talk about it when
you get here.
5
00:00:12,290 --> 00:00:14,582
Hm? Mm.
6
00:00:15,134 --> 00:00:16,775
Something on your mind, dear?
7
00:00:16,895 --> 00:00:17,930
ARCHER: Not anymore.
8
00:00:17,999 --> 00:00:20,532
MALORY: What in the... a microchip?
9
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:23,218
Russian markings?
What on earth is this?
10
00:00:23,338 --> 00:00:26,466
ARCHER: Krieger thinks it's some kind of
satellite-linked mind-control device.
11
00:00:26,586 --> 00:00:28,695
MALORY: Mind control?
Why does he think that?
12
00:00:28,815 --> 00:00:31,253
ARCHER: Because he removed it from my brain?
MALORY: What?!
13
00:00:31,373 --> 00:00:34,210
ARCHER: I told Krieger about my headaches,
he gives me a cat-scan, then boom.
14
00:00:34,279 --> 00:00:38,114
Next thing I know he shoots me full of
some kinda, I dunno, fish paralyzer...
15
00:00:38,183 --> 00:00:41,141
MALORY: That crazy...
ARCHER: And then it was drill, baby, drill.
16
00:00:41,261 --> 00:00:43,787
MALORY: Oh my God,
how do you feel?
17
00:00:43,907 --> 00:00:45,505
ARCHER: Little pissed off, actually.
18
00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:47,576
MALORY: Well that's understan...
ARCHER: Because it was obviously
19
00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:52,023
put in my brain in the first place by
your boyfriend, Nikolai Jakov of the KGB!
20
00:00:52,143 --> 00:00:54,635
MALORY: Sterling, first of all we're not
even together anymore...
21
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,786
ARCHER: I bet.
MALORY: And second of all!
22
00:00:56,906 --> 00:00:59,722
Why would he put a mind-control
chip into your brain?
23
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,657
ARCHER: I assume because
he thinks he's my father!
24
00:01:01,777 --> 00:01:05,223
MALORY: And what, you think he wanted to...
mind-control you into loving him?
25
00:01:05,343 --> 00:01:08,142
ARCHER: You tell me!
That's your specialty!
26
00:01:08,210 --> 00:01:09,468
MALORY: Get out.
ARCHER: No.
27
00:01:09,588 --> 00:01:10,449
MALORY: Yes!
28
00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:13,214
ARCHER: Mother, you've been
lying to me my entire life!
29
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,677
Just for once, I want you
to tell me the truth!
30
00:01:15,797 --> 00:01:18,017
MALORY: Well, people in
hell want ice water.
31
00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:21,935
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm right
in the middle of a fairly huge deal.
32
00:01:27,246 --> 00:01:28,788
ARCHER: Buying a lock factory?
33
00:01:28,908 --> 00:01:30,497
MALORY: For your information,
I'm... no,
34
00:01:30,566 --> 00:01:33,133
never mind,
you'll find out soon enough as it is.
35
00:01:33,202 --> 00:01:35,229
ARCHER: Oh, that's classic you!
36
00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:37,415
Avoid the truth, bury the secrets,
hide the...
37
00:01:37,535 --> 00:01:40,340
- MALORY: Oh for the...I'm selling ISIS!
- ARCHER: You what?!
38
00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:42,380
MALORY: There! Happy?
39
00:01:43,711 --> 00:01:44,725
ARCHER: No.
40
00:01:45,544 --> 00:01:55,744
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
41
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:21,866
ARCHER: Mother, tell
me this is a joke!
42
00:02:21,986 --> 00:02:24,073
MALORY: The only joke
is my bank statement.
43
00:02:24,193 --> 00:02:25,247
ARCHER: What?
44
00:02:25,367 --> 00:02:28,798
MALORY: Everything I had was in a hedge
fund, but it turns out the whole thing
45
00:02:28,918 --> 00:02:31,302
was nothing but a damn Ponzi scheme...
46
00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:34,108
I lost all my money.
I'm ruined.
47
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:37,387
ARCHER: so you're selling ISIS?
48
00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:39,758
CYRIL: She what?!
49
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:43,031
PAM: Aww, maaan...
That's totally not iree.
50
00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:44,696
CHERYL/CAROL: Then why don't
you go back to Jamaica?
51
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:49,171
PAM: A, because I got deported, and B...
So can she actually sell ISIS?
52
00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:50,582
Like, doesn't the government own it?
53
00:02:50,702 --> 00:02:52,153
CHERYL/CAROL: Yeah, I've
never been clear on that.
54
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,379
CYRIL: It's way too complicated to
explain, especially to you two,
55
00:02:55,499 --> 00:02:58,329
but short answer yes,
she can sell ISIS.
56
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,646
The question is, who would buy it?
57
00:03:00,715 --> 00:03:01,614
ARCHER: ODIN?!
58
00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:03,082
CHERYL/CAROL Or whom...
59
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:05,902
MALORY: Yes, ODIN.
60
00:03:06,022 --> 00:03:09,825
ARCHER: Why would ODIN want to buy...
Oh my God, is Len Trexler behind this?!
61
00:03:09,893 --> 00:03:12,194
MALORY: He made me a
very attractive offer.
62
00:03:12,262 --> 00:03:12,961
ARCHER: I bet!
63
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:16,565
That's because he wants to...
you know, that! With you!
64
00:03:16,633 --> 00:03:19,201
But... wait a minute, does he know you're...
TREXLER: Gorgeous!
65
00:03:19,270 --> 00:03:20,603
MALORY: Hello, Leonard!
66
00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:22,238
TREXLER: Hello, beautiful!
67
00:03:22,307 --> 00:03:23,207
Hey, kiddo.
68
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:26,015
ARCHER: Hey back and if you don't mind,
we're kind of in the middle of something?!
69
00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:27,830
MALORY: Actually Sterling,
if you don't mind?
70
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:30,045
Len and I have a lot to talk about.
71
00:03:30,165 --> 00:03:32,516
ARCHER: Like selling
ISIS out from under us?!
72
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:35,886
TREXLER: That, and the round-the-world
luxury cruise I'm taking with your mom.
73
00:03:35,955 --> 00:03:39,022
ARCHER: The what?
TREXLER: Hopefully in the honeymoon suite!
74
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:39,994
ARCHER: The what?!
75
00:03:40,114 --> 00:03:43,660
CYRIL: And then the unemployment
office, after ODIN lays us all off.
76
00:03:43,729 --> 00:03:44,528
CHERYL/CAROL: Ugh!
77
00:03:44,596 --> 00:03:45,762
That totally stinks!
78
00:03:45,831 --> 00:03:47,646
PAM: Eh, you were on
borrowed time anyway.
79
00:03:47,766 --> 00:03:48,934
CHERYL/CAROL: No, that!
80
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,066
What are you eating?!
81
00:03:50,135 --> 00:03:51,734
PAM: Ackee and saltfish.
82
00:03:51,803 --> 00:03:54,604
GILLETTE: Yeah thanks,
this is only mohair!
83
00:03:54,673 --> 00:03:57,501
So, you really think ODIN's
gonna get rid of everybody?
84
00:03:57,621 --> 00:04:01,110
BARRY: No. Not everybody...
In fact, ODIN plans to promote
85
00:04:01,230 --> 00:04:05,582
a very select few ISIS personnel to
fill some of the impending vacancies.
86
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:07,240
LANA: Vacancies like...?
87
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,918
BARRY: Malory Archer's chair.
88
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:09,987
LANA: Wh-? Really?!
89
00:04:10,107 --> 00:04:14,105
BARRY: Well figuratively, I mean I don't
know about the actual chair, but...
90
00:04:14,225 --> 00:04:20,648
LANA: So I'd be like, like the...
BARRY: Regional director for the Americas.
91
00:04:20,768 --> 00:04:21,971
LANA: Barry, that's my dream job!
92
00:04:22,091 --> 00:04:23,534
BARRY: Yours for the taking.
93
00:04:23,603 --> 00:04:25,436
If you are similarly mine.
94
00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:26,838
For the taking.
95
00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:29,741
LANA: Taking as in...
to get this job I'd have to have sex with you?
96
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,886
BARRY: Your words.
97
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,405
And also mine. Yes.
98
00:04:37,752 --> 00:04:38,551
ARCHER: Hey! hey!
99
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:41,788
Do you idiots wanna
hear my plan or not?!
100
00:04:41,857 --> 00:04:45,125
Okay, so... suggestions.
101
00:04:45,194 --> 00:04:45,993
CYRIL: About... what?
102
00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:47,145
ARCHER: What're we talking about?!
103
00:04:47,265 --> 00:04:49,706
Stopping my mother from
selling ISIS to ODIN!
104
00:04:49,826 --> 00:04:51,390
CHERYL/CAROL: You said you had a plan!
105
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:54,380
ARCHER: My plan, is to
crowdsource a plan!
106
00:04:59,337 --> 00:05:00,364
My ear bells!
107
00:05:00,484 --> 00:05:02,710
MALORY: Don't you people
have work to do?!
108
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:03,945
TREXLER: Not for long, huh?
109
00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:08,649
Uh, can't wait to welcome each and
every one of you into the ODIN family!
110
00:05:08,718 --> 00:05:13,921
And speaking of, kiddo, hope you're
gonna welcome me into your family.
111
00:05:13,989 --> 00:05:17,991
ARCHER: My fam..., uh, uh, uhrrowrrmf!
112
00:05:18,059 --> 00:05:19,158
MALORY: Ugh!
113
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:21,727
You people better not track
that onto the carpet!
114
00:05:21,795 --> 00:05:23,428
It's filthy enough as it is.
115
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,359
C'mon, Len.
116
00:05:24,479 --> 00:05:26,598
TREXLER: I'll follow you
anywhere, my sweet!
117
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:30,163
PAM: Holy shitsnacks...
CYRIL: Is Trexler buying ISIS
118
00:05:30,283 --> 00:05:31,805
just to get your mother to marry him?!
119
00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:35,789
ARCHER: No! Yes! Look, shut up.
PAM: That is some high-priced MILF.
120
00:05:35,909 --> 00:05:37,542
ARCHER: Hey! Shut up!
121
00:05:37,610 --> 00:05:40,078
And think of a way to make
Trexler not want my mother!
122
00:05:40,146 --> 00:05:41,779
PAM: We could give her a MILFectomy.
123
00:05:41,848 --> 00:05:44,918
ARCHER: If you say milf one more time,
I will shoot you in your eyeballs.
124
00:05:45,038 --> 00:05:49,409
CYRIL: She does have a point,
though Not the... m-i-l-f part!
125
00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:53,625
But if we could make Trexler fall out of love...
CHERYL/CAROL: How?: Trust me,
126
00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:55,177
you can't control a person's heart.
127
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:57,130
KRIEGER: You can with a
little thing I like to call a
128
00:05:57,250 --> 00:05:58,785
deep-cycle marine battery.
129
00:05:59,954 --> 00:06:01,265
Or LSD.
130
00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:02,760
CHERYL/CAROL: Is that what
you've been giving me?!
131
00:06:04,571 --> 00:06:05,303
KRIEGER: Yes?
132
00:06:05,371 --> 00:06:07,320
CYRIL: Well that explains a lot...
CHERYL/CAROL: I thought those
133
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,410
were breath strips!
134
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:10,608
KRIEGER: But anyway, whatever,
emotions like "love" don't
135
00:06:10,676 --> 00:06:13,185
actually come from the heart, they
come from the... ARCHER: The brain!
136
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:14,161
KRIEGER: Yeah.
137
00:06:16,199 --> 00:06:17,335
Or LSD.
138
00:06:24,257 --> 00:06:25,955
ARCHER: Oh, come on...
139
00:06:28,842 --> 00:06:30,724
Where is the trust?
140
00:06:34,274 --> 00:06:37,923
ARCHER: What could be so secret she
wired it up with twelve pounds of C-4?
141
00:06:38,376 --> 00:06:40,678
Ugh, I don't think I even wanna know...
142
00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:44,599
GILLETTE: What.
143
00:06:44,719 --> 00:06:45,418
ARCHER: Nice.
144
00:06:45,487 --> 00:06:47,887
Here, take a look at this.
145
00:06:47,956 --> 00:06:50,456
Okay, which one of these wires
GILLETTE: Blue and yellow.
146
00:06:50,525 --> 00:06:52,191
ARCHER: Ya wanna look at it
for more than half a second?
147
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:54,961
GILLETTE: I wired the damn thing!
Ass!
148
00:06:55,029 --> 00:06:57,535
ARCHER: Well I didn't know that!
Ass!
149
00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:01,701
ARCHER: Okay...
GILLETTE: I lied, I didn't wire it.
150
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:02,502
ARCHER What?!
151
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:03,269
GILLETTE: Badumpbump.
152
00:07:03,338 --> 00:07:05,505
ARCHER: You think that's funny?
153
00:07:05,573 --> 00:07:07,308
GILLETTE: Not compared to that.
154
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:08,660
What is that?
Oh yeah.
155
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:12,609
ARCHER: No no no no no,
Ray what do I do?!
156
00:07:12,729 --> 00:07:15,557
GILLETTE: Well if you don't shut if off...
ARCHER: She'll know somebody was in here!
157
00:07:15,677 --> 00:07:18,084
GILLETTE: So you could wait
for the batteries to die...
158
00:07:18,153 --> 00:07:19,509
ARCHER: Okay, yeah that's...
GILLETTE: But sounds like
159
00:07:19,629 --> 00:07:22,122
there's about four big ol'
D-cells in it.
160
00:07:22,190 --> 00:07:25,179
ARCHER Aww, maaan...
ARCHER: Yeah, it's... it's pretty big.
161
00:07:25,299 --> 00:07:26,000
GILLETTE: Is it black?
162
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,712
ARCHER Wh-? No, it's...
GILLETTE: Slightly darker black?
163
00:07:27,832 --> 00:07:29,897
ARCHER No!
It's not any kind of black!
164
00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:31,398
GILLETTE: Racist.
ARCHER: Shut up!
165
00:07:31,467 --> 00:07:34,034
It's more of a...
Aubergine?
166
00:07:34,103 --> 00:07:34,936
I guess you'd call that?
167
00:07:35,004 --> 00:07:36,037
GILLETTE: Oh. Still pretty hot.
168
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:37,038
ARCHER: Will you shut up?
169
00:07:37,107 --> 00:07:38,116
GILLETTE: Take a picture.
ARCHER: Shut up!
170
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,143
Okay, I'm going in.
Aww man, can't believe I'm doing this...
171
00:07:41,212 --> 00:07:44,080
GILLETTE: Try to think
about something else.
172
00:07:44,149 --> 00:07:45,615
Like how there's no sink in there.
173
00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:47,918
ARCHER: So what if
there's no... Oh my God!
174
00:07:47,986 --> 00:07:48,718
GILLETTE: Yeah.
175
00:07:48,787 --> 00:07:50,095
ARCHER: There's no sink!
176
00:07:52,858 --> 00:07:56,240
ARCHER: Ugh... there's not enough liquor
and therapy in the world to undo that.
177
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:57,676
I touched my mother's dildo.
178
00:07:57,796 --> 00:07:59,629
GILLETTE: You shoulda borrowed these.
179
00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:02,932
They're like super heavy du... aagh!
180
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:03,532
LANA: Hey!
181
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:04,367
What the hell're you doing?
182
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:05,301
ARCHER: What're you doing?!
183
00:08:05,370 --> 00:08:06,335
Making robot birds?
184
00:08:06,404 --> 00:08:09,805
Lana we're in crisis mode, Mother's
trying to sell us to ODIN!
185
00:08:09,874 --> 00:08:10,672
LANA: I know.
186
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:12,441
So how about don't break any
more stuff in my new office?
187
00:08:12,509 --> 00:08:15,677
ARCHER: Your new... oh my God,
ODIN's making you the new boss?
188
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:19,848
LANA: Yup. I mean, I kinda maybe have to
sleep with Barry, but... ARCHER Wh-?!
189
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:20,815
Lana, how can you do that?!
190
00:08:20,884 --> 00:08:23,470
LANA: By getting drunk and knowing it's
the same thing your mother's doing?
191
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:27,010
And I know that it's killing you
that she's leaving you for another man,
192
00:08:27,130 --> 00:08:29,105
and you better not mess it up for me.
193
00:08:29,225 --> 00:08:31,561
ARCHER: Speaking of mess, you traitor,
your stupid birdbot is leaking.
194
00:08:31,630 --> 00:08:32,962
LANA: My what?
195
00:08:33,031 --> 00:08:33,530
Aw, shit!
196
00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,499
ARCHER: Probably hydraulic fluid.
197
00:08:35,568 --> 00:08:37,768
LANA: It's sweet-and-sour, dumbass!
198
00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:40,371
ARCHER: Yeah who's the
dumbass now, Lana?
199
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,440
BARRY: Or whom...
ARCHER: Barry.
200
00:08:42,509 --> 00:08:43,608
How's your shattered femur?
201
00:08:43,677 --> 00:08:48,714
BARRY: How's your... creepily childlike
feeling of maternal abandonment?
202
00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:50,649
ARCHER: The sale isn't
final yet, Barry.
203
00:08:50,717 --> 00:08:51,683
BARRY: No, but it will be.
204
00:08:51,752 --> 00:08:53,855
And we're here to make sure of it.
205
00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:56,890
So don't try to do anything stupid.
206
00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,791
ARCHER: I don't have to try.
207
00:09:00,859 --> 00:09:03,927
Shit, whatever, move.
208
00:09:03,995 --> 00:09:05,895
BARRY: Barry, is that
how you get ants?
209
00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:08,798
Yes it is, Other Barry, yes it is.
210
00:09:16,562 --> 00:09:19,930
KRIEGER: Okay, the satellite link is online...
So let's play God.
211
00:09:21,915 --> 00:09:25,551
ARCHER: Freaky... KRIEGER: I'll tell
what's freaky, is guess what I had already
212
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,452
named this bunny.
213
00:09:26,521 --> 00:09:27,309
ARCHER: Rabbert Klein.
214
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,857
KRIEGER: Wow, that's...
actually better.
215
00:09:30,926 --> 00:09:31,524
ARCHER: All yours.
216
00:09:31,593 --> 00:09:33,334
So can you put it in a person's brain?
217
00:09:36,332 --> 00:09:37,131
KRIEGER: He'd suffocate.
218
00:09:37,199 --> 00:09:38,632
ARCHER: Not the rabbit, idiot!
219
00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:39,233
The chip!
220
00:09:39,302 --> 00:09:40,668
KRIEGER: Oh! Yes, absolutely!
221
00:09:40,736 --> 00:09:42,216
ARCHER: Without killing the person?
222
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:45,683
KRIEGER: Oh. Yeah, maybe.
223
00:09:46,676 --> 00:09:49,077
TREXLER: Ahhhh...
doesn't that feel good?
224
00:09:49,146 --> 00:09:50,879
MALORY: Feels better than this offer.
225
00:09:50,947 --> 00:09:53,648
Len, I need at least
twenty percent down.
226
00:09:53,717 --> 00:09:56,251
TREXLER: Aww c'mon, it's not
like you need the money.
227
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,052
You're already loaded.
228
00:09:57,121 --> 00:09:59,221
MALORY: What if...
I weren't?
229
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:01,657
TREXLER: Then you'd know
I loved you for you.
230
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,059
MALORY: You really do, don't you?
231
00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:04,861
TREXLER: And always have.
232
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:08,131
MALORY: What about all those years you
spent shacked up with what's-her-face,
233
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:08,998
the crazy one?
234
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,668
TREXLER: Anastasia...
MALORY: No, the tall brunette.
235
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:12,535
Crazy-crazy.
236
00:10:12,604 --> 00:10:13,836
TREXLER: Yeah, Anastasia.
237
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:14,770
She killed herself.
238
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:16,583
MALORY: Oh. Right, sorry.
239
00:10:19,074 --> 00:10:21,443
BARRY: Yeah, that's
how you like it, huh?
240
00:10:21,512 --> 00:10:27,631
All down in your nooks and crannies...
LANA: So hey, hate to interrupt
241
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:30,585
your conversation...
BARRY: It wasn't a conversation Lana,
242
00:10:30,654 --> 00:10:34,356
I was just talking to
my gun, not with it.
243
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:35,490
Pretty big difference.
244
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,527
LANA: Huge, yeah, so, are they in there
signing the sale contract, or...?
245
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:40,028
BARRY: As we speak.
LANA: Yessss!
246
00:10:40,097 --> 00:10:43,531
Cause I've got tons of ideas to run this
place more efficiently once I'm ODIN's
247
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,666
regional director.
248
00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:46,234
Already jotted a bunch down.
249
00:10:46,303 --> 00:10:48,770
BARRY: Hey, that's great.
250
00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:54,108
Hope you bring that same kind of enthusiasm
and self-starterishness to having
251
00:10:54,177 --> 00:10:55,242
sex with me.
252
00:10:55,311 --> 00:10:55,776
LANA: Oh.
253
00:10:55,845 --> 00:10:58,780
So us hooking up is still, um...
BARRY: A perquisite for the job, yeah.
254
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:00,506
Or is... do I mean prerequisite?
255
00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:03,667
Either way, Barry's pretty stoked.
256
00:11:03,787 --> 00:11:07,622
ARCHER: Okay, so that's Barry and Lana...
Pam, you're the amorphous
257
00:11:07,691 --> 00:11:09,590
rasta-blob...
PAM: Big ups.
258
00:11:09,659 --> 00:11:13,193
ARCHER: Those are the ODIN guys,
Ray you're the little pink sailor,
259
00:11:13,262 --> 00:11:15,263
and... Why do you have so
many damn dolls in here?
260
00:11:15,331 --> 00:11:17,498
PAM: For sexual
harrassment complaints.
261
00:11:17,567 --> 00:11:20,701
So people can non-verbally indicate
where stuff happened on their body.
262
00:11:20,770 --> 00:11:22,436
ARCHER: Yeah that
takes like, one doll.
263
00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:24,304
PAM: Not if there's ever a gang rape.
264
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:27,158
ARCHER: Cyril, better pill up.
265
00:11:27,278 --> 00:11:28,709
You're assisting Krieger
with the surgery.
266
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:30,810
CYRIL: Wh-? ! Why me?!
ARCHER: You're good at math.
267
00:11:30,930 --> 00:11:32,380
CYRIL: How is that supposed to help?!
268
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:32,947
ARCHER: Can't hurt.
269
00:11:33,016 --> 00:11:36,783
Ray you lure Lana into the
mainframe, Carol you lure Barry...
270
00:11:36,852 --> 00:11:37,751
GILLETTE: I wanna lure Barry!
271
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,420
ARCHER: Wrong bait Ray, he's straight.
272
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:40,421
GILLETTE: How do you know?
273
00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:42,055
ARCHER: How do I... he was engaged!
274
00:11:42,124 --> 00:11:43,475
GILLETTE: I was married!
275
00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:44,958
For two years.
276
00:11:45,027 --> 00:11:50,841
I mean, she was a lesbian, but still...
we met in a "Pray Away the Gay" bible group.
277
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,860
That was a pretty weird time for me.
278
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,332
ARCHER: Just get Lana
in the mainframe!
279
00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:56,400
I'll take care of Trexler, and Pam?
280
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,403
You're job is to neutralize
the ODIN agents.
281
00:11:58,523 --> 00:12:00,582
PAM: How the shit am I
s'posed to do that?!
282
00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,385
ARCHER: With Krieger's
magic breath strips.
283
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:03,594
KRIEGER: But do not touch them.
284
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:06,142
Lysergic acid is absorbed
right through the skin.
285
00:12:06,262 --> 00:12:07,824
Even the tip of your fing... uh-oh.
286
00:12:07,892 --> 00:12:09,493
ARCHER: Oh for [BEEP]'s sake, Krieger!
287
00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:11,347
You're about to do brain surgery!
288
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:13,729
KRIEGER: Yeah, so...
sooner's gonna be better than later.
289
00:12:13,797 --> 00:12:15,338
ARCHER: Dammit, how
much time do we have?!
290
00:12:15,383 --> 00:12:17,137
CHERYL/CAROL: For me, usually
about twenty minutes.
291
00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:18,893
ARCHER: Usually?!
CHERYL/CAROL: Less if I take two.
292
00:12:19,013 --> 00:12:20,336
CYRIL: Man, you have got a problem.
293
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:21,864
CHERYL/CAROL: Oh right,
like you're one to talk.
294
00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:23,393
PAM: Yeah, Pillbo Baggins.
295
00:12:23,513 --> 00:12:25,705
CYRIL These are from a doctor!
CHERYL/CAROL: So?!
296
00:12:25,774 --> 00:12:26,905
Krieger's a doctor!
297
00:12:27,025 --> 00:12:28,174
CYRIL: Not a medical doctor!
298
00:12:28,243 --> 00:12:30,477
KRIEGER: Not even the other kind.
Technically.
299
00:12:30,545 --> 00:12:32,765
ARCHER: I gotta tell ya guys...
300
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:36,515
Um, not feeling super-confident
bout this plan.
301
00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:40,954
PAM: Racist.
302
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:47,410
CHERYL/CAROL: I guess you
must be the infamous "Barry"
303
00:12:47,479 --> 00:12:48,945
everyone's talking about.
304
00:12:49,014 --> 00:12:51,014
BARRY: Yeah, go away?
305
00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,283
CHERYL/CAROL: (giggling)
306
00:12:52,485 --> 00:12:55,820
- Infamously few of words I guess!
- Go away.
307
00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,185
Um, so Lana said to give you this?
308
00:13:00,789 --> 00:13:02,093
BARRY: Pretty succinct.
309
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:03,939
CHERYL/CAROL: Guess you
guys have lots in common!
310
00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:09,771
Like, I bet your genitals are the
same distance from the ground.
311
00:13:09,891 --> 00:13:11,035
BARRY: Look alive, gang.
312
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:13,104
I think Archer's gonna try
to torpedo this deal,
313
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:17,922
so until the contract is signed, don't
let Archer anywhere near that office.
314
00:13:20,015 --> 00:13:22,555
What're you... don't do that,
You asshole.
315
00:13:22,675 --> 00:13:23,971
We're buying this place.
316
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:27,917
Carpet's shitty enough as it is...
PAM: I'll tell ya what's shitty,
317
00:13:27,985 --> 00:13:29,781
is somebody's breath around here.
318
00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:32,774
Whoa! Here, take three or four of 'em.
319
00:13:32,894 --> 00:13:34,611
Probably won't kill you guys, either.
320
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,781
Cause somebody smells like they ate
the ass end out of a northbound cow.
321
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,139
LANA: Well?
322
00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:40,299
What do you think?
323
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,663
GILLETTE: I think I'm
gonna miss you so much!
324
00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:44,757
LANA: Aww honey, you're
not going anywhere.
325
00:13:44,877 --> 00:13:46,965
Not when I'm the regional director.
326
00:13:47,085 --> 00:13:49,841
GILLETTE: But are you
sure you'll get the job?
327
00:13:49,910 --> 00:13:53,444
LANA: Totally, yes!
I mean, I do kinda have to sleep with Barry,
328
00:13:53,513 --> 00:13:55,046
GILLETTE: Oh right, he
said tell you he's in the
329
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:56,224
mainframe and it's now or never.
330
00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:58,102
LANA: Really?
GILLETTE: Used those exact words.
331
00:13:58,222 --> 00:14:00,719
LANA: Uck.
It all feels so... dirty.
332
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,389
GILLETTE: Yeah, the
carpet in there's gross.
333
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,299
LANA: No, trading sex for this job.
334
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:07,874
I mean it's the chance of a lifetime, but...
GILLETTE: Honey, look at me.
335
00:14:07,994 --> 00:14:10,096
We all gotta do what we all gotta do.
336
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,230
LANA: You wouldn't hate me for it?
337
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:13,235
GILLETTE: Oh, God no.
338
00:14:13,355 --> 00:14:17,437
But just do reverse cowgirl, because
that carpet's seriously heinous.
339
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,286
ARCHER: Wow!
340
00:14:18,406 --> 00:14:20,239
So guess that worked, huh?
341
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,204
PAM: Pamela cool runnins, mon.
342
00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:25,273
ARCHER God, would you
give it a rest, um uh...
343
00:14:26,377 --> 00:14:28,231
Damn, I had something for this.
344
00:14:29,688 --> 00:14:31,160
PAM: Blob Marley.
345
00:14:32,928 --> 00:14:34,870
MALORY: Alright, there's my signature.
346
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:37,998
And once you countersign...
TREXLER: We can set sail for romance!
347
00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:43,712
Mazatlan, Maui, maybe even a small
wedding on the beach in Tahiti?
348
00:14:43,832 --> 00:14:47,364
ARCHER: Yeah, about that...
Can I borrow Len for a second?
349
00:14:47,774 --> 00:14:48,383
MALORY: Why?
350
00:14:48,503 --> 00:14:52,586
ARCHER: To... give him my blessing
in asking for your hand in marriage?
351
00:14:52,706 --> 00:14:54,510
MALORY: Well that's just weird.
352
00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:56,988
TREXLER: No, it's beautiful!
353
00:14:57,108 --> 00:15:01,106
Well maybe not traditional,
but it's a damn classy move!
354
00:15:01,226 --> 00:15:02,599
After you, kiddo!
355
00:15:05,854 --> 00:15:07,150
LANA: Barry?
BARRY: In here!
356
00:15:07,270 --> 00:15:10,461
Just doing some deep knee bends.
357
00:15:10,787 --> 00:15:12,534
Nude.
Wanted to stay loose.
358
00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:16,864
LANA: Yeah, so listen, about the job, and this...
I don't think I can do it.
359
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,083
BARRY: Then why'd you
send me that note?
360
00:15:18,203 --> 00:15:20,065
LANA: What note? What the... ?!
361
00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,725
Hey! Hey! Open this damn door!
362
00:15:22,845 --> 00:15:25,105
GILLETTE: Sorry, honey!
Please don't hate me!
363
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,100
Just doing what I gotta do...
364
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:29,287
TREXLER: I sorta pictured more
365
00:15:29,407 --> 00:15:32,544
of a lounge, Morris chairs,
that kinda stuff...
366
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:36,415
ARCHER Yeah. So listen, about you and Mother...
TREXLER: We're in love, kiddo.
367
00:15:36,484 --> 00:15:37,571
ARCHER: Well, maybe you're in love.
368
00:15:37,691 --> 00:15:39,319
She's just in need.
369
00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:40,494
TREXLER: Of what?
ARCHER: Of money!
370
00:15:40,614 --> 00:15:43,449
She's broke, Trexler, she lost
everything in a Ponzi scheme.
371
00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:46,305
TREXLER: So what're you saying, she's...
ARCHER: Using you!
372
00:15:46,425 --> 00:15:47,762
You dumb idiot!
373
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,630
TREXLER: Doesn't matter.
I'm crazy about her!
374
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:56,062
And if I can be there for her when she
really needs me, then all the better!
375
00:15:56,182 --> 00:15:57,460
ARCHER: I was afraid you'd say that.
376
00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,474
TREXLER: Why? Ow! Why...
377
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:01,904
...are you doing that?!
378
00:16:02,024 --> 00:16:03,475
CYRIL: Hello...
TREXLER: What is that?!
379
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:04,650
CYRIL: Fish paralyzer?
380
00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:06,012
TREXLER: Okay.
381
00:16:06,663 --> 00:16:09,394
ARCHER: Okay, he's out.
How's Krieger doing?
382
00:16:09,514 --> 00:16:11,056
CYRIL: Not, um, great.
383
00:16:11,297 --> 00:16:13,658
KRIEGER: Yes he is, let's do this!
384
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:17,970
BARRY: So, are we gonna do this or...?
LANA: No, we're not.
385
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:20,444
For a big list of reasons, at
the top of which is Archer.
386
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:21,833
BARRY: You're not still into that guy?
387
00:16:21,953 --> 00:16:25,835
LANA: No! But he's out there, somewhere
and somehow, dashing all my hopes.
388
00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:27,420
BARRY: Look this sale
is gonna happen.
389
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:30,474
So what we should do is
spread our clothes around,
390
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:33,831
so our naked bodies don't
touch this carpet.
391
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,567
MALORY: Oh, for the... sweet-and-sour?
392
00:16:37,687 --> 00:16:39,895
Might as well start an ant farm.
393
00:16:40,015 --> 00:16:42,287
And what's taking those two so long?
394
00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:44,798
ARCHER: Wow.
So that didn't take long, huh?
395
00:16:44,918 --> 00:16:46,634
TREXLER: I dunno...
ARCHER: That was rhetorical.
396
00:16:46,754 --> 00:16:47,596
Okay, Krieger!
397
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:49,227
KRIEGER: Yes!
ARCHER: What are you doing?
398
00:16:49,296 --> 00:16:51,686
ARCHER: What's next?!
KRIEGER: Uh uh uh...Okay, cue visual!
399
00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:54,484
CYRIL: Roger! Cueing visual!
400
00:16:57,904 --> 00:17:00,731
TREXLER: Awww!
There's my lovely lady love!
401
00:17:00,851 --> 00:17:04,714
KRIEGER: Okay now, uh... wow, that feels good...
ARCHER: Krieger!
402
00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:06,597
KRIEGER: Oh!
Commence the Modified Ludovico!
403
00:17:06,717 --> 00:17:08,805
CYRIL: Commencing the
Modified Ludovico!
404
00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:15,520
TREXLER: Aaghh!
No no no, I don't like this!
405
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:18,959
Who is that... horrible woman?!
406
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,234
ARCHER: That's Malory Archer.
You love her.
407
00:17:21,354 --> 00:17:24,277
TREXLER: Oh no. Oh no no no no.
Ick!
408
00:17:24,397 --> 00:17:27,853
ARCHER: Krieger?!
KRIEGER: Uh, uh...commence satellite link!
409
00:17:27,973 --> 00:17:29,826
Commencing satellite link!
410
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,369
ARCHER: So, you wouldn't
want to marry her?
411
00:17:34,489 --> 00:17:38,233
TREXLER: No, eww! No, please!
Make it stop!
412
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:41,637
CYRIL: Uh, uh, what do I do, what do I...
KRIEGER: Just hit tab!
413
00:17:41,757 --> 00:17:42,316
CYRIL: Oh.
414
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,991
KREIGER: Idiot.
ARCHER: Okay, it's over.
415
00:17:45,111 --> 00:17:47,114
And you're sure you don't
want to marry that woman.
416
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,948
TREXLER: Oh God, no!
417
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,080
No, ya know what I want?
418
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,497
ARCHER: Tell me.
TREXLER: Some of that lettuce.
419
00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:53,685
ARCHER: Um... okay.
TREXLER: Or actually all of it?
420
00:17:53,805 --> 00:17:57,612
And the bunny attached to it, he's attached
right, can I have the bunny and the lettuce?
421
00:17:57,732 --> 00:17:59,515
ARCHER: Uh, can we
give Lenny the rabbit?
422
00:17:59,635 --> 00:18:01,090
TREXLER: And the lettuce!
423
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:04,350
ARCHER: Sure thing. Go to town.
424
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:06,505
TREXLER: Yeah...
cause they're brothers.
425
00:18:07,145 --> 00:18:09,593
ARCHER: Is he always going to be
like this, cause now I feel bad.
426
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:12,437
MALORY: Sterling? Len?
427
00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:14,778
Either and or both?
428
00:18:14,898 --> 00:18:16,965
Where the hell are you? ! Len!!
429
00:18:17,085 --> 00:18:19,595
BARRY: Yeah, do you know where he is?
430
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:23,746
MALORY: Yes, I'm just screaming his name
down the hall to celebrate that fact.
431
00:18:24,694 --> 00:18:26,426
BARRY: That some kinda joke?
MALORY: Is that?
432
00:18:27,753 --> 00:18:28,702
BARRY: It's cold in here.
433
00:18:28,822 --> 00:18:30,067
TREXLER: Because she's here!
434
00:18:30,187 --> 00:18:33,659
The big bad lady is
here and she is cooold!
435
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,017
MALORY: Len, what's going on?!
436
00:18:35,137 --> 00:18:38,132
TREXLER: You're mean and I don't
like you and I don't want ISIS
437
00:18:38,252 --> 00:18:41,401
or you and all I want is this
lettuce and his brother...
438
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:44,317
ARCHER: Rabbert Klein...
TREXLER: Rabbert Klein, so Barry, you ass,
439
00:18:44,437 --> 00:18:48,319
for the love of all that's green take
me and Rabbert to the lettuce store!
440
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:56,694
MALORY: Sterling Malory Archer...
ARCHER: Yes, Mother... I'm here for you.
441
00:18:57,175 --> 00:18:58,729
GILLETTE: You did the
right thing, honey.
442
00:18:58,849 --> 00:19:00,442
LANA And all it cost
me was my dream job.
443
00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:02,069
And a broken hand.
444
00:19:02,189 --> 00:19:04,168
Which kills...
Pam: Here.
445
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,621
LANA: I'm good.
PAM: Racist.
446
00:19:12,766 --> 00:19:14,054
ARCHER: Buy you a cup of coffee?
447
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:15,865
Ya know, since you're broke?
448
00:19:15,985 --> 00:19:17,252
MALORY: You meddling ass.
449
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:20,319
Sterling, I know what you did to Trexler.
ARCHER: I didn't do anyth...
450
00:19:20,439 --> 00:19:21,168
MALORY: Yes you did!
451
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:23,753
Because certain "items" in my desk...
452
00:19:23,873 --> 00:19:25,532
ARCHER: Bop bop bop bop bop!
I can't hear you.
453
00:19:25,652 --> 00:19:27,096
- were not where I put them!
- Bop bop bop bop bop!
454
00:19:27,216 --> 00:19:30,894
MALORY: And we never need to speak of
that sickening invasion of privacy again.
455
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:33,526
ARCHER: Yeah, and the...
neverer the better.
456
00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:37,286
MALORY: But since I can only assume that
Russian mind-control chip is rattling
457
00:19:37,354 --> 00:19:40,735
around in Len Trexler's bald head...
ARCHER: Not rattling,
458
00:19:40,784 --> 00:19:43,605
Krieger stapled it...
MALORY: I had to go Plan B,
459
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,237
and lease out three floors
in the building...
460
00:19:46,357 --> 00:19:48,280
And also sell the cleaners.
461
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,908
ARCHER: You sold the cleaners?
To who?
462
00:19:50,028 --> 00:19:52,508
POPEYE: Or whom...
ARCHER: Wh-? ! Popeye?!
463
00:19:52,628 --> 00:19:53,371
POPEYE: Mmm-hm.
464
00:19:53,491 --> 00:19:55,787
MALORY: And he paid upfront, in cash!
465
00:19:55,907 --> 00:19:59,579
ARCHER: Yeah not surprising, considering
the fact he's a loan-sharking pimp!
466
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,673
POPEYE: Former loan-sharking pimp.
467
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:02,989
I'm going legitimate.
468
00:20:03,109 --> 00:20:04,362
ARCHER: What do you know
about dry cleaning?!
469
00:20:04,482 --> 00:20:06,272
POPEYE: I know you still
owe me three grand.
470
00:20:06,392 --> 00:20:08,607
ARCHER: Yeah and I told you...
POPEYE: And I also know I got
471
00:20:08,727 --> 00:20:10,706
five of your hand-tailored
suits in the back.
472
00:20:10,826 --> 00:20:12,864
ARCHER: Wh-?
You're holding my suits hostage?!
473
00:20:12,984 --> 00:20:14,135
POPEYE: Collateral.
474
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,929
Now get the [BEEP]
outta my cleaners.
475
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,881
MALORY: I think it's a good fit.
476
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:19,679
See you tomorrow Popeye!
477
00:20:19,799 --> 00:20:21,048
POPEYE: Mm-hm.
478
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:26,903
What do I know about dry cleaning...
I know I'm switching from perc to D5.
479
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:28,884
Goin green up in here.
480
00:20:34,503 --> 00:20:44,703
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com