1
00:00:03,325 --> 00:00:05,292
What do you
think you're doing?
2
00:00:05,293 --> 00:00:06,827
My job, Lana.
3
00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:10,864
And what part of your job,
exactly, is groping my ass?
4
00:00:10,865 --> 00:00:12,700
The part that
calls for spycraft.
5
00:00:12,701 --> 00:00:15,802
C'mon, we're posing as newlyweds--
Yeah, posing.
6
00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:17,705
-- and I am
drunk on nuptial bliss.
7
00:00:17,706 --> 00:00:19,139
You're drunk
on champagne.
8
00:00:19,140 --> 00:00:21,041
Little column
A, little column B.
9
00:00:21,042 --> 00:00:22,042
Mrvit!
10
00:00:22,043 --> 00:00:26,661
Fine, but when you take my hand off
your lately almost overly ample butt --
11
00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,655
Odd choice
of dying words...
12
00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:29,557
I don't just question
13
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,195
your commitment to the mission, Lana, I
question your commitment to America.
14
00:00:33,196 --> 00:00:36,499
Instead of feeling me up in the lobby --
Wait til we're in the
15
00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:36,900
room, got it.
16
00:00:36,901 --> 00:00:38,802
-- what say we
focus on the mission:
17
00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:41,905
catching the North Koreans who are
in New York to buy enriched uranium.
18
00:00:41,906 --> 00:00:43,139
Can't we do both?
19
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:44,140
Can't you shut up?
20
00:00:44,141 --> 00:00:45,975
Can't you put a
price tag on freedom?
21
00:00:45,976 --> 00:00:48,845
I mean you can't put a
price tag on freedom.
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00:00:48,846 --> 00:00:50,513
Always never forget that.
23
00:00:50,514 --> 00:00:53,249
Here's your key for the
honeymoon suite, congratties, and if I
24
00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:57,253
could just get a credit card for the
room and any incidentals, we'll be --
25
00:00:57,254 --> 00:00:59,388
Broke, Jesus, the
room's that much?!
26
00:00:59,389 --> 00:01:00,990
Is there a problem?
27
00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:03,059
Not if we're
buying it as a condo.
28
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:07,063
I may have something a bit
more in your price range... basement okay?
29
00:01:07,064 --> 00:01:11,133
No it's not, because as
love-besotted newlyweds we want the
30
00:01:11,134 --> 00:01:12,435
honeymoon suite.
31
00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:14,771
And price range is...rangeless.
32
00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:16,005
Archer...?!
33
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:19,241
Shhh, a few minutes more, darling,
and you can have your way with me.
34
00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:21,678
- Ugh, I wish...
- I know. Soon.
35
00:01:21,679 --> 00:01:23,546
Alrighty, and
we are just all set.
36
00:01:23,547 --> 00:01:24,714
Enjoy your stay.
37
00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:26,549
Enjoy your stay...?
38
00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:28,448
Oh, right, sorry!
Enjoy your stay --
39
00:01:28,452 --> 00:01:29,486
No no no -
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00:01:29,487 --> 00:01:30,720
Mr. and Mrs. Archer!
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00:01:30,721 --> 00:01:33,990
Ughhh, it's like my heart's
being gripped by the icy fingers of
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00:01:33,991 --> 00:01:36,726
some terrifying Ghost
of Honeymoon Future.
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00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:38,928
Lana.
44
00:01:38,929 --> 00:01:41,297
Lana!
45
00:01:41,298 --> 00:01:44,100
Lana!!
46
00:01:44,101 --> 00:01:47,436
C'mon, if you don't answer I'm gonna
scream as loud as I possibly --
47
00:01:47,437 --> 00:01:48,237
What?!
48
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:50,707
I'm sorry, I meant "Mrs.
Archer."
49
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:53,543
I heard you.
50
00:01:53,544 --> 00:01:56,546
I apologize, madame, but --
For what, Dunkirk? Or
51
00:01:56,547 --> 00:02:01,618
that effeminate yet somehow
condescending tone?
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00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:04,320
- Damn, I'm sure my card was in here...
- Malory,
53
00:02:04,321 --> 00:02:05,889
please, allow me...
54
00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:06,890
No no no, I'm --
55
00:02:06,891 --> 00:02:08,890
Embarrassing
yourself, dear.
56
00:02:08,893 --> 00:02:12,461
Thank you, Trudy.
57
00:02:12,462 --> 00:02:15,965
Oh man, this
must be killing you!
58
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:18,167
What, the salmonella
dripping all over my desk?
59
00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:20,737
It's lamb,
ding-dong, not salmon.
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00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:22,639
I --
I'm talking about Mr. Archer and Lana!
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00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,274
In a deluxe honeymoon suite!
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00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,276
Oh for -- Pam,
they're on a mission!
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00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:32,248
Ary position! By now, since I bet
they already did all the good ones...
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00:02:32,249 --> 00:02:42,805
Rrgh! Pam, they're --
Ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh
65
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:58,556
ungh ungh ungh ungh ungh
ungh. Want some?
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00:02:58,676 --> 00:03:00,443
I --
Psych!
67
00:03:01,511 --> 00:03:11,600
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:03:37,745 --> 00:03:40,012
Okay, first of
all, just shut up.
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00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:41,765
And second, I trust
Lana completely.
70
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,215
Especially with
regard to Archer.
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00:03:43,216 --> 00:03:45,217
She'd rather have sex with...
you.
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00:03:45,218 --> 00:03:46,252
Why, what'd she say?!
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00:03:46,253 --> 00:03:50,356
And third, Lana's pretty satisfied
in the old romance department.
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00:03:50,357 --> 00:03:54,494
- And the old accounting department...
- What's that?
75
00:04:01,268 --> 00:04:02,001
What's that?
76
00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:03,269
Well good thing you
work at a spy agency!
77
00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:05,572
Miss... Spy On People!
78
00:04:05,573 --> 00:04:07,373
What, I only
watched for a second!
79
00:04:07,374 --> 00:04:09,442
You need medication, Pam!
Pills!
80
00:04:09,443 --> 00:04:11,210
Big pills, like they
use at the zoo!
81
00:04:11,211 --> 00:04:13,780
But we have to go now, the
vet comes back from lunch in twenty
82
00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:15,582
minutes!
83
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,917
Let's go, bitches!
Tiger tranqs!
84
00:04:17,918 --> 00:04:19,118
We are not.
Breaking into the zoo.
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00:04:19,119 --> 00:04:20,753
To steal tiger tranquilizers.
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00:04:20,754 --> 00:04:22,889
Cyril,
they have all kinds.
87
00:04:22,890 --> 00:04:25,525
And I have to direct-deposit
the annual bonuses, so if you two
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00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,794
could go be crazy and
horrible elsewhere...?
89
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:30,763
Like the Tuntmore Towers Hotel,
where Lana's shacked up with Mr.
90
00:04:30,764 --> 00:04:32,599
- Archer...
- Wait, what?!
91
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,302
Yeah, we can see if he's into all
that freaky gender-reversal stuff.
92
00:04:36,303 --> 00:04:37,537
That -- wait, what?!
93
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,806
Cyril. I watched for
more than a second.
94
00:04:39,807 --> 00:04:41,641
I -- you --
95
00:04:41,642 --> 00:04:43,940
Yeah, let's go down there!
I own that dump,
96
00:04:43,944 --> 00:04:46,445
we can get a suite and totally
spy on Mr. Archer and --
97
00:04:46,446 --> 00:04:48,948
Lana! Okay,
I'm going with you.
98
00:04:48,949 --> 00:04:50,449
Yeah whatever,
but on the way we're --
99
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:52,485
Not swingin by the zoo.
100
00:04:52,486 --> 00:04:53,887
Laaaaame.
101
00:04:53,888 --> 00:04:55,889
What's lame, Archer?
102
00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:58,290
The fact that we're up against at
least four highly-trained North Korean
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00:04:58,291 --> 00:05:02,595
agents? Or the fact they've all got--
Peppercorns, Lana.
104
00:05:02,596 --> 00:05:07,199
Well, I was gonna say Tokarevs and
Shpagin-41 submachine guns, but yeah,
105
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,167
let's go with peppercorns.
106
00:05:08,168 --> 00:05:09,101
Thank you!
107
00:05:09,102 --> 00:05:12,438
Because without peppercorns,
it's not steak au poivre.
108
00:05:13,473 --> 00:05:15,842
It can't be.
By like, definition.
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00:05:15,843 --> 00:05:17,710
Archer, we're supposed to
be stopping the North Koreans
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00:05:17,711 --> 00:05:21,848
from buying part of a nuclear bomb, not
ordering every single item on the
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00:05:21,849 --> 00:05:24,817
room service menu --
Just the dinner menu.
112
00:05:24,818 --> 00:05:26,485
-- pounding two three-
hundred dollar bottles of
113
00:05:26,486 --> 00:05:29,989
Glengoolie Frickin Blue --
Two? I ordered three...
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00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,724
-- then passing out
on the bed totally naked,
115
00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,993
for a -- what'd you call it?
116
00:05:33,994 --> 00:05:36,295
Power blackout.
And you're welcome.
117
00:05:36,296 --> 00:05:38,097
Yeah thanks, the memory
of your bare ass will bring
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00:05:38,098 --> 00:05:40,833
me comfort and warmth during
the coming nuclear winter.
119
00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:45,504
Relax, it's North Korea. The
nationstate equivalent of the short-bus.
120
00:05:45,505 --> 00:05:46,138
Nice.
121
00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:50,176
What's nice is this hot tub. Which
get in, before you blow our cover,
122
00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:54,614
any more than you already have, by
not performing your wifely duties.
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00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,616
Excuse me?
124
00:05:56,617 --> 00:06:01,688
You said my card was used at the
Tuntmore Towers Hotel? This morning?
125
00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:10,997
Hm? Oh yes, I remember now. Yes,
yes, it's all fine, mmmmmkaybyebye.
126
00:06:10,998 --> 00:06:14,533
I am literally
going to kill him.
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00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:17,403
Well, figurative --
Literally! I'll lure him to my condo
128
00:06:17,404 --> 00:06:21,540
in Miami, drug his steak au poivre,
drive him out to the Everglades,
129
00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:25,511
slather him with rancid chicken fat,
and then toss him to the gators!
130
00:06:25,512 --> 00:06:29,816
- Pretty specific for a hypothetical...
- Oh, he is going to pay
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00:06:29,817 --> 00:06:30,984
for this.
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00:06:30,985 --> 00:06:32,351
Literally.
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00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:35,054
Cyril? Cyril.
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00:06:35,055 --> 00:06:40,159
Ugh, fine! Then I'll do it!
135
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,260
Are they doin it?!
136
00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:42,261
Are they bangin?!
137
00:06:42,262 --> 00:06:44,396
No, Pam, they
are not "bangin."
138
00:06:44,397 --> 00:06:46,332
Well these ribs
sure as hell are.
139
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,834
Oh my God, right?
140
00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,503
We should take some
to the tigers!
141
00:06:50,504 --> 00:06:51,904
And miss
these two doin it?
142
00:06:51,905 --> 00:06:54,674
- Oh my God, right...
- Will you hags stop it?! Look,
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00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,442
there's nothing going
on over there!
144
00:06:56,443 --> 00:06:58,277
Unless she's
screaming at him to get it up.
145
00:06:58,278 --> 00:07:01,681
She's not --
That's what she was screamin at you.
146
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:03,750
Okay, so I watched
the whole thing.
147
00:07:03,751 --> 00:07:07,020
Ugh, were you
raised in a barn?!
148
00:07:07,021 --> 00:07:11,057
No. I just slept
out there a lot.
149
00:07:11,058 --> 00:07:15,094
Sooo, you got an ETA on when
you might possibly be ready to help?
150
00:07:15,095 --> 00:07:18,865
- Hard to say, really...
- Chi's taking her sweet time here.
151
00:07:18,866 --> 00:07:21,567
Not criticizing,
thorough is good.
152
00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:25,705
Look, just gimme ten -- Twenty minutes, and --
Archer? I don't know how
153
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,941
long the North Koreans will be out of
their room, so while you ladies discuss
154
00:07:28,942 --> 00:07:32,411
the pros and cons of a clear coat --
You say that like there are cons.
155
00:07:32,412 --> 00:07:35,982
I'll go be thorough at my job and
plant the Geiger counter, so we know
156
00:07:35,983 --> 00:07:38,384
if and when the
uranium shows up.
157
00:07:38,385 --> 00:07:40,119
Do you even know
if that thing works?
158
00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:51,064
Well, Pigley Three, that would
certainly explain the glowing...
159
00:07:51,065 --> 00:07:54,167
And probably a few other things.
160
00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:55,101
Grunt.
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00:07:59,994 --> 00:08:02,095
Why do you let
him push your buttons?
162
00:08:02,096 --> 00:08:07,468
Why not push his buttons? Because
he has no buttons. He's buttonless.
163
00:08:07,469 --> 00:08:13,837
The only way to make him as crazy as he
makes you, is to... ha, ha, ha, haaaa.
164
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,278
Seriously...
Who are you, Van Cliburn?
165
00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:20,614
Knock off the tickling
and work that shit.
166
00:08:20,615 --> 00:08:23,350
Yeah, right?
A baby could -- unghh!
167
00:08:23,351 --> 00:08:25,986
I'm sorry, Miss Tunt!
Did that hurt?
168
00:08:25,987 --> 00:08:28,989
- Yesss...
- Cyril, they bangin yet?
169
00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:32,659
Wh-? No! Actually, Archer's alone...
Lana's either in the bathroom or...
170
00:08:32,660 --> 00:08:35,863
Oh my God! What --
The hell is this bullshit?!
171
00:08:35,864 --> 00:08:38,164
What?! You say
you want clear coat!
172
00:08:38,165 --> 00:08:40,634
Yeah, why not?
I mean it's not like
173
00:08:40,635 --> 00:08:43,670
it hasn't crossed your mind, and
you're not getting any younger, so --
174
00:08:43,671 --> 00:08:44,371
Lanaaa!
175
00:08:44,372 --> 00:08:46,540
Jesus, what?!
Is it the Koreans?!
176
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,976
Only if they're who
screwed me out of my bonus!
177
00:08:49,511 --> 00:08:50,377
Which would be weird!
178
00:08:50,378 --> 00:08:51,444
Your bonus?!
179
00:08:51,445 --> 00:08:53,146
If you could
even call it that!
180
00:08:53,147 --> 00:08:56,449
What's yours, is it shitty?! Go
online and check your bank account!
181
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,184
Now. When I'm suction
cupped on a window,
182
00:08:58,185 --> 00:09:00,186
thirty stories above the ground.
183
00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,989
Yeah, you
should have five bars.
184
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:06,059
Okay so, it's gonna sound
like I'm hanging up? But --
185
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,494
Lana. Lana!
186
00:09:07,495 --> 00:09:09,897
Holy shit, I think
she's gone rogue!
187
00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:14,234
But whoa, don't pack up. My toes
aren't gonna do themselves.
188
00:09:14,235 --> 00:09:16,703
And even if you're not
necessarily doing it for the right
189
00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:19,573
reasons, he's --
ARCHER Hey! Hey!
190
00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:21,675
Phone, gimme!
191
00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:25,345
Did you seriously climb all the way
up here just to see what my bonus is?
192
00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:28,949
No, I sarcastically climbed all
the way up here to see what your bonus
193
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:31,718
is! He said, sarcastically!
194
00:09:31,719 --> 00:09:32,385
Phone!
195
00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:35,422
Okay, Jesus! Keep
your voice... Whoa.
196
00:09:35,423 --> 00:09:39,459
Sucks, right? I mean that's not
even -- remotely fair! What the
197
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:40,160
shit?!
198
00:09:40,161 --> 00:09:43,129
Apparently we're in a crazy
parallel universe, where bonuses are
199
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:51,404
based on merit instead of whether or
not you crawled out of your -- mother!
200
00:09:51,405 --> 00:09:53,506
Lanaaa!
201
00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:55,375
Archerrrrr!
202
00:09:55,376 --> 00:09:56,409
I'm comiiiiing!
203
00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,845
Phrasingboom!
204
00:09:58,846 --> 00:10:01,281
Lanaaaa!
205
00:10:01,282 --> 00:10:02,783
Aaaaaaaaagh! Wh-?!
206
00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:07,888
Woooohoohoohooooo!
Ungh!
207
00:10:07,889 --> 00:10:11,491
- Oh my God... Archer... that was...
- A ninety-dollar
208
00:10:11,492 --> 00:10:12,926
manicure, I know.
209
00:10:12,927 --> 00:10:17,931
And I couldn't care less, but Chi...
Lana, she worked really hard on it.
210
00:10:17,932 --> 00:10:20,901
Oh man, they gotta
bump uglies now!
211
00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:22,202
They -- wait, what?!
212
00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:26,272
Cyril, a near-death experience
is like, the ultimate aphrodisiac!
213
00:10:26,273 --> 00:10:28,541
Penultimate. The
ultimate's doing it on top
214
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,777
of a tranqed up tiger.
215
00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:34,547
- So listen...
- No you listen, and then shut up --
216
00:10:34,548 --> 00:10:37,250
You shut up, I was on the verge of --
Dying.
217
00:10:37,251 --> 00:10:38,986
Making a --
Stain on the sidewalk.
218
00:10:38,987 --> 00:10:42,022
Decision! So --
So since we're keeping
219
00:10:42,023 --> 00:10:43,624
score for bonus purposes, Lana!
220
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,226
In addition to saving your
life a gazillion times --
221
00:10:46,227 --> 00:10:49,362
Since I started working at ISIS, I've
222
00:10:49,363 --> 00:10:53,900
been shot, stabbed, set on fire,
poisoned, shot, sexually assaulted,
223
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:58,739
partially chewed, shot, and declared legally dead!
Twice on the same day!
224
00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,941
You said "shot"
like three times.
225
00:11:00,942 --> 00:11:02,075
That's just by you!
226
00:11:02,076 --> 00:11:07,514
Total it's more like... holy shit, nineteen!
And now you get your bonus and mine?!
227
00:11:07,515 --> 00:11:11,918
Archer, I didn't --
Do anything to deserve it! Exactly!
228
00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:14,254
And again, excuse me?
229
00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:16,657
There is
no excuse for you.
230
00:11:16,658 --> 00:11:20,460
Alrighty. Think
I made my decision.
231
00:11:20,461 --> 00:11:21,928
And it is final.
232
00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:24,131
Because I
borrowed your credit card?!
233
00:11:24,132 --> 00:11:26,033
You didn't
borrow it, you stole it!
234
00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:29,803
Little column A, little column --
Be advised! That until
235
00:11:29,804 --> 00:11:33,439
- I say otherwise, Mister Stickyfingers...
- Seriously, does this
236
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,307
never dry?
237
00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:36,977
Lana is
now agent-in-command!
238
00:11:36,978 --> 00:11:38,679
Wait, what?
239
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,815
Yeah hang on,
you're breaking up?
240
00:11:41,816 --> 00:11:49,022
So, my first command, as
agent-IN-command, she said commandingly, is --
241
00:11:49,023 --> 00:11:51,992
Get in
my big ol vagina!
242
00:11:51,993 --> 00:11:54,061
I'm Lana!
243
00:11:54,062 --> 00:11:55,528
Okay, you know what?
244
00:11:55,529 --> 00:11:56,830
I am outta here!
245
00:11:56,831 --> 00:12:00,300
Oh my God, okay, you're abandoning
the mission to go home and pout?!
246
00:12:00,301 --> 00:12:04,004
I'm not going home, I'm going
down there to kick some Kim Jong Ass!
247
00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:06,406
Wh-? No! We're
doing surveillance!
248
00:12:06,407 --> 00:12:09,876
Yeah, which is apparently French
for just sitting around on your ass!
249
00:12:09,877 --> 00:12:15,682
Yeah, which is why it's
surprising that you're so shitty at it!
250
00:12:15,683 --> 00:12:18,085
Wh-? No no no Archer don't --
251
00:12:18,086 --> 00:12:21,521
Suck so hard! Rrrgh!
252
00:12:21,522 --> 00:12:23,223
Okay, c'mon,
we're outta here.
253
00:12:23,224 --> 00:12:24,257
What're you, nuts?
254
00:12:24,258 --> 00:12:26,492
Oh my God
there's nuts in this?!
255
00:12:26,493 --> 00:12:29,262
Ugh, you're
allergic to penicillin.
256
00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:31,294
Oh right.
Aaand...
257
00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:33,396
There's no
penicillin in this --
258
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,033
Good,
cause I'm allergic.
259
00:12:35,036 --> 00:12:38,338
-- because why the hell would there
be penicillin in chocolate mousse?
260
00:12:38,339 --> 00:12:40,173
God, gross!
261
00:12:40,174 --> 00:12:41,407
There's moose in this?!
262
00:12:41,408 --> 00:12:42,743
Not that kind of moose.
263
00:12:42,744 --> 00:12:46,012
- Elk then, whatever, ugh...
- Look, you two stay if
264
00:12:46,013 --> 00:12:48,782
you want, I'm leaving. There's
no point spying on Lana,
265
00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:49,850
because I trust her completely.
266
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:54,587
And also because
they're not even in there anymore?
267
00:12:54,588 --> 00:12:56,522
Little column
A, little column B.
268
00:12:56,523 --> 00:12:58,925
You are not
jeopardizing this mission!
269
00:12:58,926 --> 00:13:01,061
No yeah, that's
exactly what I'm doing.
270
00:13:01,062 --> 00:13:03,630
Because your ego
needs its own zip code!
271
00:13:03,631 --> 00:13:05,098
I meant I won't allow you!
272
00:13:05,099 --> 00:13:07,200
Allow me?!
273
00:13:07,201 --> 00:13:13,439
- I mean please, allow me...
- ISIS!
274
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:20,113
Unghh!
275
00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:25,952
Wow, that's
gotta hurt, huh?
276
00:13:25,953 --> 00:13:26,684
Archer...
277
00:13:26,687 --> 00:13:28,852
No, obviously it hurts
getting Tom Dempsey'd in
278
00:13:28,856 --> 00:13:30,556
- the tits like that...
- Archer.
279
00:13:30,557 --> 00:13:32,492
But I meant watching
me save your ass for the
280
00:13:32,493 --> 00:13:33,960
gazillion and one-th time.
281
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:37,297
Archer!
282
00:13:37,298 --> 00:13:39,232
She's in command.
283
00:13:44,352 --> 00:13:47,227
Oh okay, so I guess
you think this is my fault.
284
00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:50,179
You guess?
285
00:13:50,299 --> 00:13:52,008
Well I'm not
a mindreader, Lana!
286
00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:52,936
Silence!
287
00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:55,475
We deal with you soon enough!
288
00:13:55,476 --> 00:13:59,079
And by deal with, obviously, he means --
Shoot.
289
00:14:00,014 --> 00:14:03,583
I mean, I assume. And negativity
is infectious, by the way. You're the
290
00:14:03,584 --> 00:14:07,420
agent-in-command, Lana, you should
be focused on keeping my morale --
291
00:14:07,421 --> 00:14:11,758
Hi, excuse me? Could you go ahead
and shoot one or both of us now?
292
00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:14,995
Also a good leader
is never sarcastic.
293
00:14:14,996 --> 00:14:17,597
Oh, we don't shoot you!
After mission
294
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:22,903
finish, we take you back to glorious
Democratic People's Republic of Korea!
295
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:24,837
Oh, then do go
ahead and shoot us.
296
00:14:24,838 --> 00:14:25,505
Archer!
297
00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:27,340
What Lana, it's
none of those things!
298
00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:31,577
Not democratic, not a republic, and
definitely not glorious! Jesus,
299
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:36,216
- watch Frontline once in your life...
- This ISIS camera, yes?
300
00:14:36,217 --> 00:14:39,319
- Uh...
- Yes! And as all North Koreans know,
301
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,188
cameras steal your soul, so --
It is your
302
00:14:42,189 --> 00:14:43,290
Indians who think that!
303
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:46,459
Wow, okay, so since
we're being racist...!
304
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:48,561
Cyril!
Don't leave, it's on!
305
00:14:48,562 --> 00:14:50,030
What do you...?
On as in how on?!
306
00:14:50,031 --> 00:14:51,731
On as in on on.
307
00:14:51,732 --> 00:14:55,201
On as in
"hot Asian group sex" on...
308
00:14:55,202 --> 00:14:57,137
- Thricely redundant...
- Give me those!
309
00:14:57,738 --> 00:15:00,040
Oh my God! We've
gotta do something!
310
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,776
It's rosemary-mint.
311
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,046
Why? Why
did you say that?
312
00:15:06,047 --> 00:15:07,814
To lure them closer.
313
00:15:07,815 --> 00:15:08,815
Well it worked.
314
00:15:08,816 --> 00:15:12,452
- Yeah, they really hate the Japanese...
- You better have a plan.
315
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,055
Me? Lana, you're
agent-in-command.
316
00:15:15,056 --> 00:15:15,721
Archer?
317
00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:18,091
No, I just don't wanna
step on your -- Toes!
318
00:15:18,092 --> 00:15:19,159
Gaagh!
319
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,661
Nailed it boom!
320
00:15:21,662 --> 00:15:22,295
How did you...?
321
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:31,204
ARCHER; Do you have any idea how many
times I've had to get out of handcuffs?!
322
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:34,841
Lana!
323
00:15:34,842 --> 00:15:37,777
Whew! Well, thank God you've
been arrested so many times.
324
00:15:37,778 --> 00:15:39,479
Arrested?
325
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,616
I -- look, whatever, thanks,
that was actually pretty impressive.
326
00:15:43,617 --> 00:15:46,353
Well not really, I thought
this was the door to the hallway.
327
00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:47,485
Sooo...
328
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:51,253
Do you think there's thirty
stories' worth of towels in here?
329
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:58,698
C'mon Figgis, Lana's in trouble,
so you just gotta man up and... ooh!
330
00:15:58,699 --> 00:16:02,102
Aw, man... am I missing
all the hot Asian group action?
331
00:16:02,103 --> 00:16:04,837
No, nobody's doing anything...
Well, Lana's destroying the
332
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:05,872
toilet.
333
00:16:05,873 --> 00:16:10,110
- Join the club...
- That's what you get for eating elk.
334
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:14,347
Uh, couple things...
One, we've got about thirty seconds
335
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:18,485
before the door is matchsticks. Two,
you're never gonna break that win --
336
00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,723
What was that? I couldn't hear
you over the sound of your wrongness.
337
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:27,394
It's okay, I'll skip ahead
to three, which is now what, idiot?!
338
00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:30,196
Because I left my jetpack
in my other pants!
339
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,966
I -- we can signal to somebody or--
Like who, a blimp captain?!
340
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:37,470
No, like -- holy
shit, is that Cheryl?
341
00:16:37,471 --> 00:16:40,073
What the hell's she doin--
Suppressing fire
342
00:16:40,074 --> 00:16:42,409
Extinguisher!!
343
00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,411
Is that --
Cyril?!
344
00:16:44,412 --> 00:16:45,478
Lanaaaaaaaaa!
345
00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:46,579
I'm coming, Cyril!
346
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,181
Lana wait!
347
00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:52,752
Bet that's the first time
you ever said that. Right?
348
00:16:52,753 --> 00:16:54,521
Okay, now we can go.
349
00:16:54,522 --> 00:16:55,488
Ya know...?
350
00:16:55,489 --> 00:16:56,022
Go!
351
00:16:56,023 --> 00:16:57,590
Rrrgh!
352
00:16:57,591 --> 00:17:00,693
What the --
Cyril!
353
00:17:00,694 --> 00:17:02,328
Smoke fiiiiight!
354
00:17:02,329 --> 00:17:05,831
Woohoohoohooooo!
355
00:17:05,832 --> 00:17:08,568
Ugh, no
way, that is so unfair!
356
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,869
What,
are they bangin?!
357
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:13,173
They will be...
Raves make everybody horny.
358
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:19,512
And that! Is for ruining!
My fake honeymoon!
359
00:17:19,513 --> 00:17:21,247
Ungh! Oof!
Archer wait, it's me!
360
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:22,048
I know!
361
00:17:22,049 --> 00:17:28,020
Oof! And this
is for the Pueblo!
362
00:17:28,021 --> 00:17:29,755
Cyril, hit the deck!
363
00:17:29,756 --> 00:17:31,991
Wait, why just Cyri--
Get some you sons of
364
00:17:31,992 --> 00:17:34,860
bitches. Get some!
365
00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:38,298
- Aw man, I totally missed it...
- Oh my God, the toilet?!
366
00:17:38,299 --> 00:17:42,202
No! Jesus.
Although it is clogged.
367
00:17:42,203 --> 00:17:46,206
- Wow, Lana, that was...
- Right? Totally passive-aggressive.
368
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:48,441
No, that was
active-aggressive!
369
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,775
Because you ruined the mission!
370
00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:51,144
Yeah, you jerk.
371
00:17:51,145 --> 00:17:52,912
And why the
hell are you here?!
372
00:17:52,913 --> 00:17:54,880
Uh, police scanner?!
373
00:17:54,881 --> 00:17:55,915
Cyril.
374
00:17:55,916 --> 00:18:00,052
Well, ya know, I mean you two,
all alone in the honeymoon suite...
375
00:18:00,053 --> 00:18:01,053
Oh my God.
376
00:18:01,922 --> 00:18:05,725
Well you can forget about the huge
decision I made, that you know nothing
377
00:18:05,726 --> 00:18:09,129
about, because I
just unmade it.
378
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:13,233
I -- What was
that all about?
379
00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:17,170
- Ohh, wouldn't you like to know...
- Do you?
380
00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:19,105
No.
381
00:18:19,106 --> 00:18:21,007
Malory,
you cannot be serious!
382
00:18:21,008 --> 00:18:25,678
I know, I'm sorry, it's because
I use humor as a coping mechanism.
383
00:18:25,679 --> 00:18:28,148
I meant --
And so, while I think it's hilarious
384
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:31,984
that your bonuses will now be used to
pay this ridiculous hotel bill...
385
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:36,689
Which somebody could make go away
with a snap of her bony fingers!
386
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:37,857
Ugh!
387
00:18:37,858 --> 00:18:42,695
I told you, I have to answer
to my board of directors!
388
00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:44,464
I don't, at all.
389
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:46,032
Do you even
know what that is?
390
00:18:46,033 --> 00:18:47,700
I don't, at all.
391
00:18:47,701 --> 00:18:50,002
I just can't seem to
find the humor in what should
392
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:53,105
have been a simple mission
turning into a total farce!
393
00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:57,143
It wasn't --
Lana. It was by definition a farce.
394
00:18:57,144 --> 00:18:59,412
Capped off by the fact
that no one thought to stick
395
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:01,037
around and catch the madman
396
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:02,910
selling the uranium!
397
00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:04,806
Lana was in command.
398
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,223
Yes, was.
399
00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:09,636
Lucky for the madman.
400
00:19:10,226 --> 00:19:12,172
Whoever he was...
401
00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:17,832
Aww, maaaan...
402
00:19:18,263 --> 00:19:21,158
Well there goes my master plan!
403
00:19:22,531 --> 00:19:25,550
Yeah, get in there, eat 'em up.
404
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:29,591
God knows you earned it.
405
00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:41,075
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com