1
00:00:00,910 --> 00:00:06,748
- Allaaaaaaaahu akbaaaaaaaaaar...
- Noooo...
2
00:00:07,005 --> 00:00:11,509
Ugh, no wonder Morocco Mole was
so inept, he never got any damn sleep.
3
00:00:12,811 --> 00:00:15,199
Unlike some people!
4
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,053
Wuzzat?! Oh. G'morning.
5
00:00:17,054 --> 00:00:18,621
Don't "g'morning" me!
6
00:00:18,622 --> 00:00:19,856
What's your problem?
7
00:00:19,857 --> 00:00:22,124
Besides that
frickin air raid siren?
8
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:24,961
It's the muezzin
chanting the adhan, Lana. God,
9
00:00:24,962 --> 00:00:26,362
be open to other cultures.
10
00:00:26,363 --> 00:00:29,632
I am! What I'm not open
to is not sleeping on the
11
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:32,635
floor, listening to your drunk
ass fart and snore all night in
12
00:00:32,636 --> 00:00:36,072
the only bed, which I'm sure
is why you wanted this room!
13
00:00:36,073 --> 00:00:38,074
If I may rebut,
point by point?
14
00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:38,775
No, you may -
15
00:00:38,776 --> 00:00:41,274
A, pretty sure I offered
to share the bed, B, I
16
00:00:41,278 --> 00:00:43,480
- wasn't that drunk...
- Really.
17
00:00:43,481 --> 00:00:46,549
Lana, this is me we're talking about.
And okay yeah,
18
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:49,285
maybe I smoked just a teeny bit
too much hashish, but that's
19
00:00:49,286 --> 00:00:51,220
only because I didn't
want to be rude.
20
00:00:51,221 --> 00:00:55,091
To who, the creepy old Moroccan dude?
Or those Dutch high school girls?
21
00:00:55,092 --> 00:00:58,628
Both, the latter of
whom were college juniors, and
22
00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:03,032
C, Lana we had to take this room,
Beat history was made here!
23
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,333
Says who, the manager?!
24
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:06,335
Wh-? Why would he lie?!
25
00:01:06,336 --> 00:01:07,904
You
are American, yes?
26
00:01:07,905 --> 00:01:09,038
Uh, yes?
27
00:01:09,039 --> 00:01:10,907
Then you know
Allen Ginsberg, author of the
28
00:01:10,908 --> 00:01:14,076
poem Howl, "I saw the best
minds of my generation
29
00:01:14,077 --> 00:01:18,615
destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked..."
30
00:01:18,616 --> 00:01:20,016
Yes.
31
00:01:20,017 --> 00:01:22,251
So for extra one
thousand American, you can
32
00:01:22,252 --> 00:01:23,920
have room where he wrote-
Yes!
33
00:01:23,921 --> 00:01:26,022
Archer, Morocco.
34
00:01:26,023 --> 00:01:29,859
Yeah, hang on. Is this really the
room where Allen Ginsberg wrote Howl?
35
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:32,194
Why not.
36
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:36,298
Yeah why not? And just
so we're clear, you're mad at
37
00:01:36,299 --> 00:01:39,802
all that stuff, and not just being
weird because we had sex last night.
38
00:01:39,803 --> 00:01:41,571
Are you -- we
didn't have sex!
39
00:01:41,572 --> 00:01:46,709
Good, because I lied, I was drunk.
Want some? Make ya feel better.
40
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,111
What will make me feel
better, is to get out of shit-
41
00:01:49,112 --> 00:01:51,848
reeking Tangier, which we can
only do after we extract -
42
00:01:51,849 --> 00:01:55,184
agent what's his name, Kazak -
who, why the hell hasn't he
43
00:01:55,185 --> 00:01:57,954
activated his GPS beacon, and
while we're on the subject,
44
00:01:57,955 --> 00:01:59,956
where the hell is our GPS?
45
00:01:59,957 --> 00:02:02,258
Oh. Promise
you won't get mad?
46
00:02:02,259 --> 00:02:03,626
Uh, no?
47
00:02:03,627 --> 00:02:07,830
- Noooo...
- I know, right? It's loud as balls.
48
00:02:07,831 --> 00:02:09,231
When did it
start going off?!
49
00:02:09,232 --> 00:02:13,436
I dunno, like... before the
muezzin, but after the Dutch co-eds left.
50
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:14,904
You brought
them up to the room?!
51
00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:18,942
Aha, busted! You
did get some sleep!
52
00:02:19,009 --> 00:02:29,092
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:58,993
How can you not love this place?
The sights, the sounds, the smells...
54
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:03,150
No, Archer, just one smell, singular,
which would knock a possum over.
55
00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:07,082
Didelphis virginiana! My second
favorite animal with a prehensile -
56
00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:07,822
Tail.
57
00:03:07,823 --> 00:03:09,723
Thanks, Brett
Somers, yes, a tail.
58
00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:10,791
You have one.
59
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:14,127
I wish, then I'd be like my first
favorite prehensile-tailed animal -
60
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:14,728
Archer?
61
00:03:14,729 --> 00:03:17,230
Nightcrawler! AKA-
Archer.
62
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,699
Kurt Wagner, Lana.
63
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:21,435
Although he can teleport, so
the prehensile tail is -
64
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:23,170
Goddammit we're
being followed!
65
00:03:23,171 --> 00:03:24,839
When were you
planning to tell me?!
66
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,906
I -- whooaaa!
67
00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:29,743
Look ooouuut!
68
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:35,148
Oh yeah?! Well -- damn, I had
something in Arabic for this...
69
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:36,517
Wow, that
accidentally worked.
70
00:03:36,518 --> 00:03:37,718
Accidentally?
71
00:03:37,719 --> 00:03:39,920
Just drive.
There, take that left.
72
00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:41,522
Hang on, I'm
swinging back around.
73
00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:43,491
No you're not, why?
74
00:03:43,492 --> 00:03:45,392
Because look in here and
tell me the Arabic phrase for
75
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:48,028
"your mother is a whore and
a goatherd is her pimp".
76
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:49,663
Oh, right, absolutely.
77
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:52,600
Oh for -- nice,
real mature, Lana!
78
00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:55,736
Look, obviously Morrocan
intelligence isn't as stoked about
79
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:58,572
Kazak coming over to ISIS as your
mother is so can you please
80
00:03:58,573 --> 00:03:59,773
quit dicking around!
81
00:03:59,774 --> 00:04:01,008
Who's dicking around?!
82
00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:03,611
Me, who's driving this clown
car like Parnelli Frickin
83
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:05,913
Jones, or you, Lana Litterbug!
84
00:04:05,914 --> 00:04:11,451
Archer, I am seriously not in the
mood for your bullshit right n-owww!
85
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,955
Oh.
Hold on, I'm stopping.
86
00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:15,856
Why.
87
00:04:15,857 --> 00:04:19,259
Because according
to this we're here.
88
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,094
Are you coming?
89
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,797
No, but I'm
breathing fast.
90
00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:30,303
Get it? Lana,
did you get it? Lana?
91
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,306
Or were you just trying not to laugh
because you're cranky for some reason.
92
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,910
I'm cranky because I didn't sleep-
Inaccurate.
93
00:04:35,911 --> 00:04:39,146
-- and now I can't sleep, because
I'm pretty sure I have a concussion!
94
00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:40,047
Wait, seriously?
95
00:04:40,048 --> 00:04:42,215
Yes, Archer, my
head totally kills.
96
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:44,284
Well that's not good-
Wait, seriously?
97
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:47,454
-- because Tangier's totally awesome-
Wildly inaccurate.
98
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,824
-- but it's probably not the
best place to receive medical treatment.
99
00:04:50,825 --> 00:04:54,662
So what say we grab this Kazak guy
and get out of this flyblown shithole.
100
00:04:54,663 --> 00:04:56,296
Okay, but you're
missing out on all the great
101
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,298
things Tangier has to offer.
102
00:04:58,299 --> 00:04:59,332
Name one.
103
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:03,671
Besides cheap hash
and a repulsingly low age of consent.
104
00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:04,404
Rugs?
105
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,641
- Okay... - Shooting me's not gonna
change the unbeatableness
106
00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,142
of their rug prices.
107
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,845
It might change my mood-
To remorseful?
108
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:14,715
-- but I drew because we don't know
what's waiting for us behind this -
109
00:05:14,716 --> 00:05:17,785
- Door. Ya know...
- Grrowwrrrgrrl!
110
00:05:17,786 --> 00:05:18,518
Ungh!
111
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,519
Lana!
112
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,420
Archer?
113
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,990
- Grrrrrrrr...
- How ya dooin, buddy?
114
00:05:22,991 --> 00:05:24,992
I'll be better
when you shoot him.
115
00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:28,495
- I was talking to hiiim, stupid...
- Great, then I'll shoo -
116
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,196
Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr!
117
00:05:29,197 --> 00:05:36,036
- I don't think he likes guuuuns...
- Okay, that's -- stop,
118
00:05:36,037 --> 00:05:39,339
c'mon, cut it -Archer get
the damn dog off my tits!
119
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,609
Here boy! C'mon buddy!
120
00:05:41,610 --> 00:05:45,145
Uh, heel? I don't think
he speaks English.
121
00:05:45,146 --> 00:05:47,014
Well what's
"get off" in Arabic?!
122
00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:50,050
She asked, regretfully, remembering
that just moments earlier she'd
123
00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:52,653
thrown away his
eleven-dollar phrasebook.
124
00:05:52,654 --> 00:05:54,054
Oh for the -- grrrrt off!
125
00:05:54,055 --> 00:05:56,523
Oof! Who's a good boy?
126
00:05:56,524 --> 00:05:58,458
Who's a good boy? Who's a
good boy good boy good boy?
127
00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,860
Ugh, I thought
you hated dogs.
128
00:05:59,861 --> 00:06:00,494
I love dogs, Lana.
129
00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:02,529
Except Mother's dog.
Hated that dog.
130
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,132
Because she loved
it more than you?
131
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:06,634
Ha ha, very funny.
132
00:06:06,635 --> 00:06:15,208
Although, she never forgot the dog's birthday...
133
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,144
Can we please
just do this?
134
00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:17,845
Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr!
135
00:06:17,846 --> 00:06:18,712
Aagh!
136
00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:20,047
What're you--
Lana put it away!
137
00:06:20,048 --> 00:06:21,682
Alright okay
okay alright already!
138
00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:24,918
See? He really doesn't like guns,
Lana, he can't stress that enough.
139
00:06:24,919 --> 00:06:27,888
Well what are we supposed to do
if Kazak doesn't wanna come with us?
140
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:30,057
Feed him to Cujo here,
he can poop him out when we get
141
00:06:30,058 --> 00:06:33,761
home. Who's a poopy
boy, who's a poopy boy?
142
00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:37,297
Shit-breath slobberin-ass mutt...
- Don't listen to her,
143
00:06:37,298 --> 00:06:42,069
she's-
Wow, but you could use a tic-tac.
144
00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:45,605
Kazak? Hello? Kazak.
145
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,606
Kazak!
146
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:47,875
Woowoowoowoowoof!
147
00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:49,176
Get away from me,
what're you doing?!
148
00:06:49,177 --> 00:06:50,177
What're you doing?!
149
00:06:50,178 --> 00:06:52,379
Lana, you can't beckon
him and then rebuff him!
150
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:53,580
Beckon and rebuff whom.
151
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:54,281
Kazak.
152
00:06:54,282 --> 00:06:55,282
Woof?
153
00:06:55,283 --> 00:06:58,451
Noooo, he's not--
he cannot be Kazak.
154
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,221
He can according
to his nametag.
155
00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:04,058
Son of a... bitch!
156
00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:05,759
Woowoowoowoowoof!
157
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:10,097
Well, technically she's right.
Who's a sonuvabitch? Are you a
158
00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:11,631
sonuvabitch?
159
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,599
Woof!
160
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,535
Lana, look! He
thinks he's people!
161
00:07:19,932 --> 00:07:23,969
Nooo, no, no, no no, nooo.
162
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:28,740
I did not sign on to be a dogsitter
for -- who's frickin dog is this?!
163
00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:33,278
Who gives a shit, Lana, he's
like the Pélé of, lemme finish, fetch!
164
00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:33,912
Woof!
165
00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:36,014
Well I will if you bring it here!
I can't throw it
166
00:07:36,015 --> 00:07:37,415
if it's in your mouth!
167
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:38,449
Woowoowoof!
168
00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:40,252
Why didn't
you become a vet?
169
00:07:40,253 --> 00:07:41,787
Honestly?
Didn't have the grades.
170
00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:43,155
No shit.
171
00:07:43,156 --> 00:07:45,257
Why would I lie about that?
And who're you calling?
172
00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:46,624
Who do you think.
173
00:07:46,625 --> 00:07:50,395
Ask her if
we can keep him.
174
00:07:50,396 --> 00:07:51,329
Ms.
175
00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:53,098
Archer, Lana for you, line one.
176
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:54,299
I'm not here.
177
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:57,967
Ooohhhh!
Then... how...?
178
00:07:57,970 --> 00:08:01,569
Oh for the love,
obviously I am here--
179
00:08:01,573 --> 00:08:02,407
Whew...
180
00:08:02,408 --> 00:08:04,342
-- I just don't
wish to speak to her!
181
00:08:04,343 --> 00:08:08,013
- But you are here...
- Aht! If you walk over
182
00:08:08,014 --> 00:08:10,849
here and touch me, you'll spend
your lunch hour being fitted
183
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,517
for a prosthetic hand.
184
00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:15,987
I only get forty-five minutes.
But I'll tell her
185
00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:19,291
you're not here. But
you are, right?
186
00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:20,091
Out!
187
00:08:20,092 --> 00:08:21,193
Ahh!
188
00:08:21,194 --> 00:08:23,761
I assume Lana's mad
because Sterling's pushing her
189
00:08:23,762 --> 00:08:25,997
buttons. What a surprise.
190
00:08:25,998 --> 00:08:30,001
- Speaking of... - You finally saved
enough money for a sex change.
191
00:08:30,002 --> 00:08:34,605
- No. I'm actually broker than usual...
- Nine...!
192
00:08:34,606 --> 00:08:36,041
Ten...! She's out!
193
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:41,679
- Uht? Pungash bishiz...
- But I'm very comfortable
194
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,851
in my own body, thank you very much, and-
Don't thank me, thank -
195
00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:49,554
And before you say-
May I finish?! Archer
196
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:52,724
Daniels Midland, now what do
you want, I'm extremely busy.
197
00:08:52,725 --> 00:08:53,791
To be a field agent!
198
00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:55,393
I'm sorry?
199
00:08:55,394 --> 00:08:56,561
You should be!
200
00:08:56,562 --> 00:08:59,364
How was I supposed to know
it was gonna make him do that?!
201
00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:02,968
Stuffing him full
of street kebabs?!
202
00:09:02,969 --> 00:09:07,739
A, it was kufta, and bee-
elzebub's asshole, Kazak!
203
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,140
Bad dog! Bad dog!
204
00:09:12,211 --> 00:09:14,579
Sorry buddy, I didn't mean that, I-
I did! It's bad enough
205
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,882
your mother sends me on this
bullshit mission, but now she
206
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:18,583
won't even take my call?!
207
00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:21,753
Lana, New York's five hours behind,
maybe she's not in the office yet.
208
00:09:21,754 --> 00:09:23,688
Oh please,
she's totally there!
209
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:24,890
Wh-?
210
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:25,523
Out!
211
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:26,524
Just checking!
212
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:27,592
God!
213
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:33,865
- Idiot. As I was saying...
- I'm! Sorry! And I'm sure I -
214
00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:38,536
-- ugh, also speak for Kazak,
who, by the way, is the real victim here.
215
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,838
How is he the victim?!
216
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:43,741
Lana, his nose is like a jillion
times more sensitive than ours!
217
00:09:44,743 --> 00:09:48,446
- Gotta be killing him...
- Well before I kill him,
218
00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:51,582
and you, just get us to the port.
Hopefully the stupid boat
219
00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,018
to Spain has aspirin.
220
00:09:53,019 --> 00:09:53,885
What boat?
221
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,954
What what boat,
the boat boat!
222
00:09:55,955 --> 00:09:57,956
Wow, you might actually
be concussed, because
223
00:09:57,957 --> 00:09:59,391
that was not a real sentence.
224
00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:00,125
Archer?
225
00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:02,527
And the boat's not a
boat, Lana, it's a frickin
226
00:10:02,528 --> 00:10:04,562
hovercraft! Woohoohoohoooo!
227
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,431
Woowoowoowooowoowooowooo!
228
00:10:06,432 --> 00:10:11,269
Woohoo... oh. But, boat or not-boat...
We won't be getting on it.
229
00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:13,238
A... roadblock?!
230
00:10:13,239 --> 00:10:15,140
So, guess we're driving
through the desert to
231
00:10:15,141 --> 00:10:16,975
the backup extraction point.
232
00:10:16,976 --> 00:10:17,708
Rrowrf.
233
00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:20,645
uhh, uhh.
234
00:10:20,646 --> 00:10:24,049
Sorry. I know you had your
heart set on that hovercraft ride.
235
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:26,818
But why on earth do you
think you're qualified to
236
00:10:26,819 --> 00:10:28,954
be an ISIS field agent?!
237
00:10:28,955 --> 00:10:30,655
Uh, besides Cyril's one?
238
00:10:30,656 --> 00:10:32,924
- Hey...
- Cyril? Ya wanna fresh one?
239
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:33,992
I do not, no.
240
00:10:33,993 --> 00:10:38,229
Then shut your fist-hole, and show
Ms. Archer how I did on the IFAAB.
241
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:43,134
The ISIS Field Agent
Aptitude Battery? You took it?
242
00:10:43,135 --> 00:10:47,138
You aced it?! No, but --
this can't -- you cheated!
243
00:10:47,139 --> 00:10:51,776
How?! Everybody watched me take it!
Under sterile conditions, by the way!
244
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:56,647
Well...
245
00:10:56,648 --> 00:11:02,320
- What. Punkass bitches...
- Sterile test conditions, anyway.
246
00:11:02,321 --> 00:11:04,189
But I can promise she didn't cheat.
247
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:06,358
Be that as it -- hm.
248
00:11:06,359 --> 00:11:13,264
Hmm. Hmmmm? This means nothing,
My God, a perfect score on the
249
00:11:13,265 --> 00:11:17,068
IFAAB merely indicates that a person
is a candidate for field agent
250
00:11:17,069 --> 00:11:20,505
status, it can't determine if
they're suited for actual
251
00:11:20,506 --> 00:11:25,310
field work. I mean, what if she
had to subdue an enemy agent?
252
00:11:25,311 --> 00:11:30,048
Cue sad trombone, aaaaaaaaaaaand-Go!
253
00:11:30,049 --> 00:11:32,817
Aaaaaagh!
254
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:40,492
Pam! What the
hell did you -- waagh!
255
00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:44,629
- My God... - And it goes on like that,
for another thirty-eight
256
00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:46,364
soul-cleaving minutes.
257
00:11:46,365 --> 00:11:48,066
Of which you
were there for two.
258
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:52,203
Three! I was scared,
I ran away, sue me. And then
259
00:11:52,204 --> 00:11:54,705
sue me for this! Smoke bomb!
260
00:11:54,706 --> 00:11:57,442
So you aced the test and
beat up a nazi, a nerd, and
261
00:11:57,443 --> 00:11:59,511
queen of the robots-
Heeyyy!
262
00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:03,748
If the saddle oxford and/or
ruby slipper fits! Mister and/or
263
00:12:03,749 --> 00:12:07,419
missy! What makes you think
I need another field agent?
264
00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:08,653
I quit.
265
00:12:08,654 --> 00:12:12,357
Lana believe me, nobody wanted
to ride a hovercraft more than me, but -
266
00:12:12,358 --> 00:12:14,625
Stop the car! I'm serious, I'm-
I'm serious, calm the
267
00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:17,962
hell down! Here, hit this
hashbrown, that creepy old dude
268
00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:21,366
put his lips on it, but-
Archer stop the goddamn car!
269
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:25,336
Lana put the gun down, he's gonna-
Yipe!
270
00:12:25,337 --> 00:12:28,973
- Stoppin the caaar, buuuddies...
- Sorry about that,
271
00:12:28,974 --> 00:12:31,742
furface. Wouldn't have shot
you for a gazillion bucks.
272
00:12:31,743 --> 00:12:32,377
Rrowr?
273
00:12:32,378 --> 00:12:33,445
You, not so much.
274
00:12:33,446 --> 00:12:37,115
Lana c'mon, we both know you're-
Quitting, Archer, yes, exactly.
275
00:12:37,116 --> 00:12:40,785
Oh. I was gonna
say "not quitting."
276
00:12:40,786 --> 00:12:42,053
Wildlier inaccurate.
277
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:46,391
"Wildlier" isn't a real word, by the way.
At least not in English.
278
00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:47,725
Rrowr?
279
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,895
I dunno, she threw away my phraseboo-
280
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,430
Almost kind of
wishing she'd shot you.
281
00:12:52,431 --> 00:12:53,398
Roowr.
282
00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:56,701
No, no, no, I'm kidding
Who's my stinky boy, huh?
283
00:12:56,702 --> 00:12:58,736
Who's my...
284
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:02,140
So hey, I know we kid
around a lot, but I think you
285
00:13:02,141 --> 00:13:03,641
might have dog cancer.
286
00:13:08,694 --> 00:13:12,663
No way, I'm not going back for her.
You're new here,
287
00:13:12,664 --> 00:13:15,800
but Lana cries wolf on quitting
ISIS like twice a week.
288
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,601
Rowr.
289
00:13:16,602 --> 00:13:19,204
She'll be fine.
She's got... oh.
290
00:13:19,205 --> 00:13:23,608
I was gonna say GPS, gun, sat-phone,
and canteen full of lifesaving water.
291
00:13:23,609 --> 00:13:24,576
Rowr.
292
00:13:24,577 --> 00:13:27,278
Well?! She's the one who
stormed off into the desert
293
00:13:27,279 --> 00:13:31,616
with no GPS, no gun, no sat-
phone and no lifesaving water,
294
00:13:31,617 --> 00:13:34,986
and why the hell are you taking her
side, she jammed a gun in your -
295
00:13:34,987 --> 00:13:35,820
Rrowrf.
296
00:13:36,622 --> 00:13:39,957
So, were you whining
about Lana being an idiot or
297
00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,726
about you being carsick?
298
00:13:41,727 --> 00:13:45,530
Rrf.
299
00:13:45,531 --> 00:13:47,298
How much frickin
kufta did you eat?!
300
00:13:47,299 --> 00:13:48,099
Ruff!
301
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:51,503
Well? Whose fault is that?!
Okay, so maybe I egged
302
00:13:51,504 --> 00:13:54,239
you on to eat five orders of it, and...
maybe I push Lana's
303
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:58,042
buttons on purpose, and just
generally make her life hell...
304
00:13:58,043 --> 00:14:01,912
Which maybe I do, possibly, if
I'm being completely honest,
305
00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:06,251
because I still have some pretty strong-
Ah, God damn, dude. Okay,
306
00:14:06,252 --> 00:14:13,824
we'll go back for her. But
not because you said so!
307
00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:18,196
Because you let him,
you let him push your buttons.
308
00:14:18,197 --> 00:14:23,668
That's why you stormed off with no
GPS, gun, phone, or lifesaving water.
309
00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:28,206
And that's why you died in the desert.
Holy shit I'm
310
00:14:28,207 --> 00:14:32,810
gonna die in the desert. Just
like Cheryl's gypsy woman said!
311
00:14:32,811 --> 00:14:37,649
How. Would I ever.
Die in a dessert.
312
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:41,352
Well, pretty close. And
you're not gonna die out here,
313
00:14:41,353 --> 00:14:42,787
because any minute now... aha!
314
00:14:42,788 --> 00:14:43,688
Haaa!
315
00:14:43,689 --> 00:14:49,394
Archer's gonna come crawling back to
you, tail between his legs, from - From
316
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:52,664
the wrong direction. Oh, shit.
317
00:14:52,665 --> 00:14:56,201
Oh, shit.
318
00:14:56,202 --> 00:14:59,571
Wait wait wait, shut up, what?
What are you talking about?!
319
00:14:59,572 --> 00:15:03,241
I dunno, like maybe a
gigantic chocolate mousse, or -
320
00:15:03,242 --> 00:15:04,576
I said desert!
321
00:15:04,577 --> 00:15:06,977
Oh.
Still pretty close.
322
00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:08,979
Will you put
Mother on the damn phone?!
323
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,715
What's the magic woooord?
324
00:15:10,716 --> 00:15:12,684
Oh for the --please!
325
00:15:12,685 --> 00:15:14,485
No,
they changed it.
326
00:15:14,486 --> 00:15:20,225
Cheryl, you
stupid [beeeeeeeeeeeep]
327
00:15:20,226 --> 00:15:22,427
Lucky guess.
328
00:15:22,428 --> 00:15:24,295
Plus I'm a quick learner
plus you've seen me drive I'm
329
00:15:24,296 --> 00:15:26,964
an amazing driver plus I almost
never get sick plus I already
330
00:15:26,965 --> 00:15:30,101
bought three pantsuits plus-
Alright! I'll think about it!
331
00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:31,936
Is that a real you'll
think about it, or a "Pam if
332
00:15:31,937 --> 00:15:34,972
your pig Leon wins a blue ribbon
at the county fair maybe
333
00:15:34,973 --> 00:15:37,609
we won't kill him and eat him
for Easter dinner and render
334
00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:41,379
what's left into soap"
you'll think about it?
335
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,581
It's-
Because I never really got over that.
336
00:15:43,582 --> 00:15:46,551
It's a real one-
Yaaaaaay!
337
00:15:46,552 --> 00:15:50,054
-- but thank you for that glimpse
into your bleak, farmy childhood.
338
00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:54,425
It was actually pretty awesome.
And if I'm being honest, so was Leon.
339
00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:56,093
Get out. What.
340
00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:57,626
Mother? Mother
it's Sterling, don't talk just...
341
00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,464
Ohhhh no!
342
00:15:59,465 --> 00:16:03,534
Guess I had that coming.
343
00:16:03,535 --> 00:16:06,304
- You must really think I'm an idiot...
- Well, your
344
00:16:06,305 --> 00:16:08,706
words Mother, but my
voicemail doesn't call you.
345
00:16:08,707 --> 00:16:12,877
Oh right. What's going on, did
you get Kazak, are you on the boat yet?
346
00:16:12,878 --> 00:16:15,780
Okay, in order, I'll
get to that, yes, no, and
347
00:16:15,781 --> 00:16:18,683
it's not a boat, it's a-
Hovercraft, whatever,
348
00:16:18,684 --> 00:16:19,550
why aren't you people on it?!
349
00:16:19,551 --> 00:16:23,020
Well for starters, some of us
aren't people! But they think they
350
00:16:23,021 --> 00:16:25,323
are! Yes they do! Yes they do!
351
00:16:25,324 --> 00:16:27,158
Yes they -
Sterling!
352
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:31,095
Oh, so anyway, Lana quit, and-
She -- what'd you do this time?!
353
00:16:31,096 --> 00:16:33,130
Nothing! She quit
because you made us fly to
354
00:16:33,131 --> 00:16:36,133
Morocco, coach, by the way, and
don't even get me started on
355
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:40,838
that! For a dog! You know how
insulting that is?! A stupid dog?!
356
00:16:40,839 --> 00:16:42,807
Wh-? Is this about
the carriage ride?!
357
00:16:42,808 --> 00:16:45,810
The -- I mean, I'd be lying
if I said it wasn't a factor! But -
358
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,545
Let me tell you
something about that so-called
359
00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:51,816
- "stupid" dog, mister man...
- Are you -- that's all
360
00:16:51,817 --> 00:16:55,787
we were after?! Well?! You
could've told us, Mother! Oh!
361
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:59,624
And you could've told me you
just took her to the stupid vet!
362
00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:04,195
Whoooo just had a lovely birthday
carriage ride through Central Paaark?
363
00:17:04,196 --> 00:17:04,829
Woof!
364
00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:09,534
Yes she did!
Yes she did!
365
00:17:09,535 --> 00:17:12,503
- Grrrrrrrr...
- Whatever, look, we're
366
00:17:12,504 --> 00:17:15,206
not gonna make it to the backup
extraction point, so get a fix
367
00:17:15,207 --> 00:17:18,275
on my signal and reroute the
chopper to those coordinates!
368
00:17:18,276 --> 00:17:21,111
Okay, rerouting
now, ETA ten minutes.
369
00:17:21,112 --> 00:17:25,717
Whenever, we'll be here...
One way or the other.
370
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:27,518
So hey, how you
doin on the kufta?
371
00:17:27,519 --> 00:17:28,319
Rrf.
372
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:32,790
Yeah good, get it all out now.
Because this next part's gonna suck.
373
00:17:35,060 --> 00:17:42,700
Archerrrr!
374
00:17:42,701 --> 00:17:47,538
See?! That's why I said scrooch down!
Lana! Lana scrooch down!
375
00:17:47,539 --> 00:17:52,910
No no no, Archer don't
Are you out of your mind?!
376
00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:53,878
No!
377
00:17:53,879 --> 00:17:58,883
Although I am out of ammo. Okay
buddy, so here's the deal!
378
00:17:58,884 --> 00:18:01,652
A, scrooch down! And B,
normally in this situation I
379
00:18:01,653 --> 00:18:04,154
do a a pit maneuver, but if I
do that the truck will flip,
380
00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:06,957
and if Lana doesn't die, best
case she's a quadriplegic and I
381
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,427
marry her out of guilt but
after a few years of feeding
382
00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:12,162
tubes and colostomy bags I
start to resent her and the
383
00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:14,732
night nurse is like,
Brazilian and twenty?
384
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:16,434
- Grrrr...
- Don't judge me! I have
385
00:18:16,435 --> 00:18:19,303
needs, man! The point is, and
it might be a kinda shitty
386
00:18:19,304 --> 00:18:22,507
plan, but I'm gonna jump on the
truck, so I need you to take the -
387
00:18:22,508 --> 00:18:23,240
Grrowwrrrgrrl!
388
00:18:23,241 --> 00:18:25,743
-- wheel, exactly, so...
Kazak?
389
00:18:25,744 --> 00:18:27,712
Aaaggghhhh!
390
00:18:27,713 --> 00:18:29,046
Grrowwrrghhh!
391
00:18:29,047 --> 00:18:32,049
Lana, look! He
thinks he's vampires!
392
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:34,619
Grrowwrrgh!
393
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,721
Lana look ooouuut!
394
00:18:36,722 --> 00:18:39,924
Kazaaaaaaaak!
395
00:18:39,925 --> 00:18:43,594
Ungh,
396
00:18:54,506 --> 00:18:56,841
Nah, guys probably got
nine wives and a jillion
397
00:18:56,842 --> 00:19:00,745
kids and.. holy shit, that's racist
Archer, what is wrong with you?
398
00:19:00,746 --> 00:19:02,547
- Seriously...
- Lana!
399
00:19:02,548 --> 00:19:06,050
Archer, thank-
God is he hit, tell me he's not hit!
400
00:19:06,051 --> 00:19:06,784
He's fine.
401
00:19:06,785 --> 00:19:07,752
Woof!
402
00:19:07,753 --> 00:19:10,442
As am I, not that you
give a shit.
403
00:19:10,562 --> 00:19:13,690
- Shhh. Lana, don't ruin the moment...
- What moment, what're you
404
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:14,796
-- ahhh.
405
00:19:14,913 --> 00:19:17,413
What're you doing, what is that?
406
00:19:17,463 --> 00:19:20,103
Microfilm. It was on
his collar the whole time,
407
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,984
something about nukes in
Pakistan or -- one of the
408
00:19:22,986 --> 00:19:26,653
akistans, I forget
which one. Owwww!
409
00:19:26,655 --> 00:19:32,792
My point is sometimes we do good work.
So promise me you'll never quit again.
410
00:19:32,794 --> 00:19:37,932
Only if you promise you'll
quit being such a colossal asshole.
411
00:19:37,934 --> 00:19:40,268
Mmmm.
412
00:19:40,270 --> 00:19:41,636
I can't.
413
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:48,110
- Ya know...
- Woowoowoowoowoowoowoof!
414
00:19:48,112 --> 00:19:49,278
What.
415
00:19:54,551 --> 00:20:04,791
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