1 00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:07,087 Our contact in the Sudan called. 2 00:00:07,187 --> 00:00:08,327 He wants to know... 3 00:00:08,427 --> 00:00:10,357 why the hell you started without me? 4 00:00:10,457 --> 00:00:12,197 Well, which part of "9:00 A.M. sharp" 5 00:00:12,297 --> 00:00:13,027 confused you? 6 00:00:13,127 --> 00:00:15,267 - Most of it, obviously. - Yeah. 7 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:17,297 It was pretty clear to the rest of us. 8 00:00:17,397 --> 00:00:18,397 Who clearly didn't have 9 00:00:18,497 --> 00:00:20,367 the shitty morning I've had, Lana. 10 00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,407 Without Pata Negra ham, 11 00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,337 it's not really eggs Woodhouse, now, is it? 12 00:00:24,437 --> 00:00:26,477 Well, sir, Culatello ham is actually... 13 00:00:26,577 --> 00:00:27,577 it's a different pig, 14 00:00:27,677 --> 00:00:29,347 from a different country, 15 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:32,647 raised on a different diet! 16 00:00:32,747 --> 00:00:34,777 The takeaway here is, you're fired. 17 00:00:34,887 --> 00:00:37,517 It's a little thing called "being on timing" -ness. 18 00:00:37,617 --> 00:00:39,457 Oh, and I thought it was called 19 00:00:39,557 --> 00:00:42,387 - "who cares" -ness. - Things have changed. 20 00:00:42,487 --> 00:00:44,427 Briefings start at 9:00 A.M., 21 00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:46,697 and I expect everyone front and center. 22 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,527 How, when I have to park, like, a gajillion miles away 23 00:00:49,637 --> 00:00:51,497 because Cyril's vasectomy on wheels 24 00:00:51,597 --> 00:00:53,467 is in my goddamn parking space? 25 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:55,467 It's been mine for quite some time. 26 00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:56,853 And you don't need it anyway, dear, 27 00:00:56,877 --> 00:00:59,337 - now that you can use the... - A-da-da... 28 00:00:59,437 --> 00:01:02,147 - Handicap space. What? 29 00:01:04,317 --> 00:01:06,177 Oh, and speaking of... 30 00:01:09,387 --> 00:01:10,517 You trashed my car? 31 00:01:10,617 --> 00:01:12,517 "Trashed" is a strong word, Cyril. 32 00:01:12,617 --> 00:01:14,387 - Listen... - Accurate, but strong. 33 00:01:14,487 --> 00:01:15,603 You're gonna pay for that. 34 00:01:15,627 --> 00:01:18,257 Uh, literally, or figuratively? 35 00:01:18,357 --> 00:01:19,527 Maybe we try both. 36 00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,397 Oh, like as in, over my dead... 37 00:01:21,497 --> 00:01:23,397 Not now. 38 00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:25,197 Body, in case you were wondering 39 00:01:25,297 --> 00:01:27,467 where I was going with... 40 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:30,467 oh, for the love of... 41 00:01:30,577 --> 00:01:32,337 - Krieger? - If this is about 42 00:01:32,437 --> 00:01:33,607 a package that just arrived, 43 00:01:33,707 --> 00:01:34,707 super don't open it. 44 00:01:34,747 --> 00:01:35,847 - What? - Nothing. 45 00:01:35,947 --> 00:01:39,317 Thanks to you, sterling just zapped himself to death 46 00:01:39,417 --> 00:01:40,517 all over my carpet! 47 00:01:40,617 --> 00:01:42,717 Uh, no. I specifically designed it 48 00:01:42,817 --> 00:01:45,387 so the voltage wouldn't kill him. 49 00:01:45,487 --> 00:01:47,617 Just maybe put him back in a coma, 50 00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:50,487 so you can study his brain? 51 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,387 Are you kidding me? 52 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:00,717 We have our own jet now? 53 00:02:00,817 --> 00:02:03,657 Well, the agency has become quite profitable 54 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,557 ever since your... Accident. 55 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:08,427 Some might even say "because of." 56 00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:09,803 Well, either way, you can thank me 57 00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:11,457 by telling me where the drinks are. 58 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:12,567 It's a dry plane. 59 00:02:12,597 --> 00:02:13,943 - Shut up, Cyril. That's not a thing. 60 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,467 Uh, we sort of have an unspoken policy 61 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:17,883 against the whole "shut up" thing. 62 00:02:17,907 --> 00:02:21,307 Hmm, but no policy on coma-jacking parking spots? 63 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,307 Be that as it may... 64 00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:23,537 Strong priorities. 65 00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:25,447 Be that as it may, 66 00:02:25,547 --> 00:02:27,507 we've instituted a strict 67 00:02:27,617 --> 00:02:31,447 no drinking on duty policy... 68 00:02:31,547 --> 00:02:33,547 With certain limited exceptions. 69 00:02:33,657 --> 00:02:34,817 Well, un-limit them, 70 00:02:34,917 --> 00:02:36,817 because I'm trying to prepare for a mission. 71 00:02:36,927 --> 00:02:38,887 That involves us going to a secret island 72 00:02:38,987 --> 00:02:41,557 to infiltrate an underground martial arts tournament 73 00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:43,757 hosted by black market arms dealer Win Li 74 00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:45,667 and smuggle him back to the U.S... 75 00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:48,737 - In a fit of irony? - To stand trial, 76 00:02:48,837 --> 00:02:50,837 so it's important we take him alive. 77 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,737 - You got it? - Chong Li, karate island, 78 00:02:52,837 --> 00:02:54,607 - hadouken, got it. - Nope. 79 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:55,877 Oh, for Chrissakes, 80 00:02:55,977 --> 00:02:58,647 this was all covered in the damn briefing. 81 00:02:58,747 --> 00:03:00,477 Which you were late to 82 00:03:00,577 --> 00:03:02,377 and then nearly died during. 83 00:03:02,477 --> 00:03:03,717 - Mm-mm. So "disprofessional." 84 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,693 Yeah, does this mean briefings are gonna start 85 00:03:05,717 --> 00:03:06,717 being fun again? 86 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,757 - Absolutely not! - Aww. 87 00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:10,617 Krieger's flying the damn plane, 88 00:03:10,727 --> 00:03:11,933 and we're supposed to be not drinking? 89 00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:14,327 - Right? - Wait, we're not? 90 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:15,297 Krieger! 91 00:03:15,397 --> 00:03:18,157 So I guess, here's to backup plans. 92 00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:18,997 No. 93 00:03:19,097 --> 00:03:20,143 NewbetterCheryl doesn't do that. 94 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,297 - New, better Cheryl? What the hell's that? 95 00:03:22,397 --> 00:03:23,667 I don't know! 96 00:03:23,767 --> 00:03:25,637 But she does very good typings 97 00:03:25,737 --> 00:03:27,667 and many important non-burny things. 98 00:03:27,777 --> 00:03:29,937 Well, not me, so don't mind if I do. 99 00:03:30,047 --> 00:03:33,307 Hey, I was toasting and/or taunting you, Pam, 100 00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:34,447 not offering. 101 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,647 Agree to disagree. 102 00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:44,817 Oh, man. 103 00:03:44,927 --> 00:03:46,757 Pretty sure I have the world's first 104 00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,897 - karate island boner. - Could you not? 105 00:03:48,997 --> 00:03:51,397 We try to keep things professional around here. 106 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,427 - Fine, god. How about 107 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,627 "work-related erection"? 108 00:03:54,737 --> 00:03:56,597 More like, maybe try not talking 109 00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:59,737 about your erection at all. 110 00:03:59,837 --> 00:04:03,437 I... don't know how. 111 00:04:06,777 --> 00:04:09,477 Welcome, everyone, 112 00:04:09,577 --> 00:04:10,577 to the twelfth annual 113 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,547 dragon fire Kumite! 114 00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:17,957 Fighters, head to registration, 115 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:21,627 and everyone, please enjoy the loggerhead turtle sliders. 116 00:04:21,727 --> 00:04:23,527 They're almost extinct 117 00:04:23,627 --> 00:04:27,067 because they're so tasty! 118 00:04:28,797 --> 00:04:32,507 - Mmm, he wasn't kidding. These things are amazing. 119 00:04:32,607 --> 00:04:34,767 - Oh, put that away. I'm allergic to loggerhead. 120 00:04:34,877 --> 00:04:37,477 Along with cat dander and motherly affection? 121 00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,677 Got it. Mmm. 122 00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:41,747 Dear god, stop stuffing your face like a refugee. 123 00:04:41,847 --> 00:04:43,577 It's called carb-loading, mother. 124 00:04:43,687 --> 00:04:45,217 - Mmm. - For what? 125 00:04:45,317 --> 00:04:46,317 Karate island. 126 00:04:46,347 --> 00:04:47,447 Actually, 127 00:04:47,557 --> 00:04:50,517 we'll be entering Cyril to fight in the tournament. 128 00:04:50,627 --> 00:04:52,527 Officially ending the search 129 00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:54,427 for your long-lost sense of humor. 130 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:57,627 It's just, Cyril's a bit more... 131 00:04:57,727 --> 00:04:59,597 I think the term you're looking for is 132 00:04:59,697 --> 00:05:01,397 fully functioning! 133 00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:02,497 How do I look? 134 00:05:02,597 --> 00:05:03,643 You mean besides like you've got 135 00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:05,467 the world's first black belt in tax law? 136 00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:07,267 Right? 137 00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:11,507 We get it. You finally exercised. 138 00:05:11,607 --> 00:05:12,853 Stop being such a dick about it. 139 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:15,447 - Ignore him, Cyril. You'll do fine. 140 00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:16,777 Which is more than I can say 141 00:05:16,887 --> 00:05:19,417 for... whatever this is supposed to be. 142 00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:20,747 It's called undercover. 143 00:05:20,857 --> 00:05:23,417 As opposed to vaguely racist? 144 00:05:23,527 --> 00:05:25,227 Vaguely? 145 00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:26,357 Ow! 146 00:05:26,457 --> 00:05:28,387 Mission focused, young lady. 147 00:05:28,497 --> 00:05:29,497 You hear me? 148 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,697 Well, not out of this damn ear. 149 00:05:31,797 --> 00:05:35,467 Oh, wait, that's better. 150 00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:37,567 - What? She stole my flask, mother. 151 00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:38,667 I'm the victim here. 152 00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:40,567 Your job is to stick to the plan. 153 00:05:40,677 --> 00:05:41,877 - Stick to the plan. Got it. 154 00:05:41,977 --> 00:05:43,677 I'll do a Manhattan on the rocks. 155 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,447 Oh, for the love of... 156 00:05:45,547 --> 00:05:47,477 I want mission focus. 157 00:05:47,577 --> 00:05:49,877 - Jesus. - Sync on me in three, 158 00:05:49,987 --> 00:05:52,587 - two, one... - Wait, sync on what? 159 00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:53,687 Mark. 160 00:05:53,757 --> 00:05:55,687 - Mark? - I want comms checks... 161 00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:56,787 Wait, who's Mark? 162 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,587 And everyone in position 163 00:05:58,687 --> 00:06:01,227 in two minutes. Now move out. 164 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:06,367 I'm starting to feel like I maybe missed a meeting. 165 00:06:09,317 --> 00:06:10,417 Okay. 166 00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:12,257 Once we get past the guards, 167 00:06:12,357 --> 00:06:13,487 we trigger the halon system, 168 00:06:13,587 --> 00:06:14,833 filling this place with a cloud of gas, 169 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:17,327 and then we whisk win Li away in the chaos. 170 00:06:17,427 --> 00:06:18,527 - Right. So, uh, 171 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:19,747 where are we on that refill? 172 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,397 Not really part of what we're doing. 173 00:06:21,497 --> 00:06:22,737 It's called tradecraft, Lana. 174 00:06:22,797 --> 00:06:24,627 You even care about blowing your cover? 175 00:06:24,737 --> 00:06:26,597 I think your tradecraft's a tad rusty. 176 00:06:26,707 --> 00:06:29,467 Oh, so we're making fun of my coma now. 177 00:06:29,567 --> 00:06:30,567 Archer... 178 00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:33,207 Feels like a dark line to cross, Lana. 179 00:06:33,307 --> 00:06:34,407 Sorry, not what I meant. 180 00:06:34,507 --> 00:06:36,107 Let's just focus on our jobs. 181 00:06:36,207 --> 00:06:37,107 Exactly. 182 00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:39,377 So yeah, lighter on the vermouth this time. 183 00:06:41,587 --> 00:06:43,447 And when you bring him his drink, 184 00:06:43,557 --> 00:06:45,517 slip this into it. 185 00:06:45,617 --> 00:06:48,357 Now careful. That's highly concentrated 186 00:06:48,457 --> 00:06:49,457 benzodiazepine. 187 00:06:49,557 --> 00:06:52,257 Oh, you mean a booster buddy! 188 00:06:52,357 --> 00:06:54,327 Don't worry, NewbetterCheryl 189 00:06:54,427 --> 00:06:55,643 totally stopped taking these twice a day. 190 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,267 - Twice? How are you still even alive? 191 00:06:58,367 --> 00:06:59,467 Thanks to Jesus. 192 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:00,597 He's the Costa Rican guy 193 00:07:00,707 --> 00:07:02,537 I used to pay to pump my stomach. 194 00:07:02,637 --> 00:07:05,377 Just get it done. 195 00:07:05,477 --> 00:07:07,477 Yeah, good luck with that. 196 00:07:07,577 --> 00:07:09,407 Seriously, what's he so worked up about? 197 00:07:13,687 --> 00:07:14,847 How the hell should I know? 198 00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,847 I don't speak angry-as-shit... Mandarin? 199 00:07:17,957 --> 00:07:20,417 - I'm just the trainer. - Cleverly disguised 200 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,527 as a drunk moron. 201 00:07:21,557 --> 00:07:23,457 Who could still whip your bony ass. 202 00:07:23,557 --> 00:07:25,397 Speaking of, how about you tag me in 203 00:07:25,497 --> 00:07:26,497 for a few rounds? 204 00:07:26,527 --> 00:07:28,397 Feeling a little frisky. 205 00:07:28,497 --> 00:07:30,497 This is why we don't drink on duty, Pam. 206 00:07:30,597 --> 00:07:32,537 We had a detailed mission plan, and... 207 00:07:32,637 --> 00:07:34,337 That hopefully included 208 00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:35,597 your dumb ass turning around. 209 00:07:35,637 --> 00:07:37,207 Hyah! 210 00:07:38,537 --> 00:07:40,177 Great. 211 00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:41,107 I know, right? 212 00:07:41,207 --> 00:07:44,577 No, I mean there are more guards now... 213 00:07:44,677 --> 00:07:47,317 Who are apparently easily distracted. 214 00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:48,687 Let's move. Now. 215 00:07:48,787 --> 00:07:50,417 - Archer. - Uh, hang on. 216 00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:51,517 - Archer! - What? 217 00:07:51,587 --> 00:07:53,417 I'm easily distracted, too, Lana. 218 00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:55,487 I'm trying to watch Cyril... 219 00:07:55,587 --> 00:07:58,157 Hi-yah! 220 00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:03,267 Weirdly not getting his ass kicked. 221 00:08:03,367 --> 00:08:04,527 Well, so much for... 222 00:08:04,637 --> 00:08:06,367 parking spot schadenfreude. 223 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:07,567 And more importantly, 224 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:10,237 for our chance to just walk right on in there. 225 00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:11,507 Unless... 226 00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:12,713 - Pam, come in. - What the... 227 00:08:12,737 --> 00:08:14,507 It's a new microburst ear transmitter. 228 00:08:14,607 --> 00:08:15,607 I know, dummy. 229 00:08:15,647 --> 00:08:16,853 Why don't I have one in my ear? 230 00:08:16,877 --> 00:08:19,517 Uh, because you're not in tactical command? 231 00:08:19,617 --> 00:08:21,417 But a cocktail waitress is? 232 00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:22,547 That makes zero sense. 233 00:08:22,647 --> 00:08:23,847 - Ugh. Just... 234 00:08:23,957 --> 00:08:26,317 - Pam, come in. - All right, all right. 235 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:27,617 Hold your damn horses. 236 00:08:27,727 --> 00:08:29,657 Mr. Hogging-the-ring wants some water. 237 00:08:29,757 --> 00:08:32,457 - And she's drunk. Happy now? 238 00:08:32,557 --> 00:08:34,327 That you have space ears and I don't? 239 00:08:34,427 --> 00:08:35,327 You tell me, Lana. 240 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,527 Space ears? 241 00:08:36,637 --> 00:08:37,837 In my coma, we were in space, 242 00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:40,367 and we put that word in front of, like, everything. 243 00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:42,607 It was pretty space great. 244 00:08:42,707 --> 00:08:44,407 - Ugh. I told Malory 245 00:08:44,507 --> 00:08:45,583 bringing you was a bad idea. 246 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,437 - Oh, why is that? Because it conflicted 247 00:08:47,547 --> 00:08:48,683 with your new life plan to avoid me? 248 00:08:48,707 --> 00:08:50,447 - No. Wait, what? 249 00:08:50,547 --> 00:08:51,793 I'm not trying to stay away from you. 250 00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:52,923 - Please. Staying away is all 251 00:08:52,947 --> 00:08:55,277 you've been doing since the coma, Lana. 252 00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:56,387 Oh, that's ridiculous. 253 00:08:56,487 --> 00:08:57,647 - It's okay. I get it. 254 00:08:57,757 --> 00:09:00,457 It's obvious you don't trust yourself around me. 255 00:09:00,557 --> 00:09:01,717 Wait, what? 256 00:09:01,827 --> 00:09:03,457 - Why wouldn't I? - Oh, well, 257 00:09:03,557 --> 00:09:04,757 I'll, uh, give you a hint. 258 00:09:04,857 --> 00:09:09,327 The answer rhymes with "my throbbing sexuality." 259 00:09:10,237 --> 00:09:12,497 All right. Glass Joe here is good to go. 260 00:09:12,597 --> 00:09:13,597 - What's up? - Oh, me? 261 00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:17,507 Just reeling from blunt force sexual imagery. 262 00:09:17,607 --> 00:09:18,637 Hey, Lana says 263 00:09:18,737 --> 00:09:20,607 keep the fight going until their signal. 264 00:09:20,707 --> 00:09:22,507 You got that? 265 00:09:25,647 --> 00:09:27,877 Well, in the hands of a lesser fighter... 266 00:09:27,987 --> 00:09:30,587 Which, compared to me, you totally are. 267 00:09:30,687 --> 00:09:32,717 Come on, Cyril. Give mama a turn. 268 00:09:32,817 --> 00:09:34,757 Pam, you're drunk. 269 00:09:34,857 --> 00:09:37,557 Since when's that a damn problem? 270 00:09:37,657 --> 00:09:38,797 Mission accomplished. 271 00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:40,557 - Good. - Oh, wait. 272 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,797 Non-accomplished. 273 00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:43,567 - What? - "Disaccomplished"? 274 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:44,667 What happened? 275 00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:45,873 I remembered NewbetterCheryl 276 00:09:45,897 --> 00:09:47,667 doesn't drug random people anymore. 277 00:09:47,767 --> 00:09:49,707 Oh, just shut up. 278 00:09:49,807 --> 00:09:52,677 Clearly, I have to do everything around here. 279 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,807 Ooh. Don't look now, 280 00:09:55,907 --> 00:09:57,677 but I think a certain someone 281 00:09:57,777 --> 00:09:59,617 - is into... - Necrophilia? 282 00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:01,617 My husband's older, not dead. 283 00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:02,837 It's the same thing, Lana. 284 00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:05,487 Unlike the sex, which we both know 285 00:10:05,587 --> 00:10:06,417 was way better with me. 286 00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:07,863 You know, it's hard to call it better 287 00:10:07,887 --> 00:10:09,657 when you hate yourself afterwards. 288 00:10:09,757 --> 00:10:11,687 And yet, you kept coming back for more, 289 00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:13,897 thereby proving how irresistible I am. 290 00:10:13,997 --> 00:10:15,767 Wait, Lana, shut up. 291 00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,867 Check it out. Thank you. 292 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,073 - Hey! What the hell are you doing? 293 00:10:19,097 --> 00:10:21,537 Restoring balance to the universe, Lana. 294 00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:22,637 What's it look like? 295 00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:23,767 This is sterling Archer, 296 00:10:23,877 --> 00:10:25,807 tactical commander, not Lana, 297 00:10:25,907 --> 00:10:27,837 who, side note, is basically begging 298 00:10:27,947 --> 00:10:29,677 to have sex with me right... ow! 299 00:10:29,777 --> 00:10:31,547 Will you just come on? 300 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,687 The hell kind of girls' prison 301 00:10:38,787 --> 00:10:40,487 did you learn to fight in? 302 00:10:40,587 --> 00:10:41,817 Come on, tag me in. 303 00:10:41,927 --> 00:10:44,427 What the... This isn't pro wrestling! 304 00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:49,727 I must say, your fighter has been quite impressive. 305 00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:51,497 He better be. 306 00:10:51,597 --> 00:10:52,637 That man he's fighting 307 00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,017 usually has a killer right hook, 308 00:10:54,107 --> 00:10:55,807 and that's not a euphemism for anything. 309 00:10:55,907 --> 00:10:58,837 People die all the time. 310 00:10:58,937 --> 00:11:00,677 Oh, wait. There it is. 311 00:11:02,707 --> 00:11:04,577 Oh, sorry. Work. 312 00:11:04,677 --> 00:11:05,817 Yhellow. 313 00:11:05,917 --> 00:11:07,177 Defective, my ass. 314 00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:10,017 Hey, Yuri, try standing on one of those land mines, 315 00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,887 and you'll see how not defective they are. 316 00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:14,817 Mm, sorry. Where were we? 317 00:11:18,697 --> 00:11:19,897 So let me get this straight. 318 00:11:19,957 --> 00:11:20,997 In your sick little world, 319 00:11:21,027 --> 00:11:22,927 every moment I'm with you, 320 00:11:23,027 --> 00:11:25,897 I'm basically a nanosecond away from ripping off my clothes, 321 00:11:25,997 --> 00:11:28,067 jumping your bones, and ruining my life? 322 00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:30,837 - Your words. - Not how that phrase works. 323 00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:33,637 Though it's apparently how being obsessed with me works. 324 00:11:37,747 --> 00:11:38,777 - Damn it, Archer! - What? 325 00:11:38,877 --> 00:11:40,763 We don't just go around shooting people anymore. 326 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:41,677 Why not? 327 00:11:41,787 --> 00:11:42,817 Because... 328 00:11:44,087 --> 00:11:46,757 That's literally 95% of the job. 329 00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:48,787 W-W-We try to use nonlethal force now. 330 00:11:52,797 --> 00:11:54,897 It's called a license to kill, Lana, 331 00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:57,767 not a license to gently subdue. 332 00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,867 Is this funny to you? 333 00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:03,307 - Not you, idiot. That. 334 00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:04,937 Jesus Christ, Archer. 335 00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:06,053 Did you forget to call Pam 336 00:12:06,077 --> 00:12:07,937 and tell her we're past the guards? 337 00:12:08,047 --> 00:12:09,123 Sure, let's go with that. 338 00:12:09,147 --> 00:12:10,847 - Call her, goddamn it. He's... 339 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,817 Really getting killed out there. 340 00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:16,547 Well, in the meantime... 341 00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:17,887 yhellow? 342 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,017 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Raoul. 343 00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:20,787 No one ever said that bazooka 344 00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:21,987 could sink a cruise ship. 345 00:12:22,087 --> 00:12:23,887 You want to take out a cruise ship, 346 00:12:23,997 --> 00:12:26,557 I can sell you something to take out a cruise ship, 347 00:12:26,657 --> 00:12:27,827 you kook! 348 00:12:27,927 --> 00:12:29,597 Okay, I'll see you in Kiev. 349 00:12:29,697 --> 00:12:30,867 Sorry, where were we? 350 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,637 I was just about to suggest 351 00:12:32,737 --> 00:12:34,837 we freshen our refreshments. 352 00:12:34,937 --> 00:12:37,937 Mm, I like where this is going. 353 00:12:38,037 --> 00:12:39,677 Wait, as in sex, right? 354 00:12:39,777 --> 00:12:40,983 If you play your cards right. 355 00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:45,577 Ah, and the delicate foreplay dance begins. 356 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,817 Hey! 357 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:51,917 Whatever happened to 358 00:12:52,017 --> 00:12:54,057 "no more personal calls, Cheryl. 359 00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:56,187 "No more four-hour lunches, Carol. 360 00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,827 No more shoving your fingers in"... 361 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:04,497 Pam, get Lana on comms and tell... 362 00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:09,067 Jesus Christ. 363 00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,767 Like beating a dead horse out there. 364 00:13:11,877 --> 00:13:13,077 Pam... 365 00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:16,807 Get Lana on the... Talk box thing 366 00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:18,077 and tell her... 367 00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:19,847 What do you mean, you can't call? 368 00:13:19,947 --> 00:13:21,093 Mm, there's no signal down here. 369 00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,947 - Oh, idiot. - Idiot? 370 00:13:23,047 --> 00:13:24,987 I didn't invent how cement walls work, Lana. 371 00:13:25,087 --> 00:13:26,887 - What? - The hell? 372 00:13:28,857 --> 00:13:30,757 Okay, yeah, so... 373 00:13:30,857 --> 00:13:32,697 Oh, I'm just gonna... 374 00:13:32,797 --> 00:13:34,427 I'm just gonna go ahead and... 375 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,707 - That's it. Calling my own number. 376 00:13:43,807 --> 00:13:45,567 Yah! 377 00:13:48,747 --> 00:13:49,607 Whoo! 378 00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:53,177 Big mama's handing out biscuits, baby! 379 00:13:53,277 --> 00:13:56,687 Ah, you dare interfere 380 00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:59,017 with the dragon fire Kumite? 381 00:13:59,117 --> 00:14:01,957 Well, somebody had to spice up this snooze-fest. 382 00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:03,787 Oh, then by rule, 383 00:14:03,897 --> 00:14:05,857 you must duel to the death 384 00:14:05,957 --> 00:14:08,757 with the legendary dragon fire! 385 00:14:10,837 --> 00:14:12,797 Conway Stern? 386 00:14:12,897 --> 00:14:14,767 Take... 387 00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:15,937 Me! 388 00:14:16,037 --> 00:14:19,007 Uh... Pamela. 389 00:14:19,107 --> 00:14:21,477 So glad you came. 390 00:14:21,577 --> 00:14:22,747 Twice. 391 00:14:22,847 --> 00:14:24,807 Tum-tum feeling better? 392 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,777 Nice tone, Lana... 393 00:14:26,877 --> 00:14:30,487 But yes, thank you for asking. 394 00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:35,937 Okay, I've got an idea. 395 00:14:36,037 --> 00:14:37,483 Maybe try glaring at me tons more, Lana. 396 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:38,877 Maybe that'll get us out of here. 397 00:14:38,977 --> 00:14:40,407 - Oh, I'm sorry. Was I glaring? 398 00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:44,017 I thought I was just looking at the idiot who got us caught! 399 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,887 Well, with your resting bitch face... 400 00:14:45,987 --> 00:14:47,947 Hey, asshole! 401 00:14:48,057 --> 00:14:50,617 No talking till Mr. Li gets here 402 00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:51,617 to kill you... 403 00:14:51,727 --> 00:14:53,887 With a bazooka, like you are cruise ship. 404 00:14:53,997 --> 00:14:55,057 Fine, 405 00:14:55,157 --> 00:14:56,927 but if you scratch that cane, 406 00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:59,967 it will literally end up inside your... 407 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,067 Asshole. 408 00:15:01,097 --> 00:15:01,997 Yeah. 409 00:15:02,097 --> 00:15:03,097 I probably deserve that. 410 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,067 I bet you miss me, though. 411 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,067 Not even close, bud. 412 00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,953 You know what you could've gone with right there is, 413 00:15:07,977 --> 00:15:10,077 "Glenn close, but no cigar." 414 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,907 Well, you're about to have 415 00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,747 a dangerous liaison... 416 00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:15,947 With my fist! 417 00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:18,017 Oh, my, my, my. 418 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:20,987 Looks like a... Reversal of fortune. 419 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,887 Are you starting to feel a... Fatal attraction? 420 00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:26,727 No, it's more like... 421 00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,727 Hook! 422 00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:29,827 Uh... 423 00:15:29,927 --> 00:15:31,927 Resting what face? 424 00:15:32,027 --> 00:15:34,697 I'm not at all sure I follow. 425 00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:35,867 - Bitch. - Pardon? 426 00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:36,967 I believe you said 427 00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,967 "resting bitch face." 428 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,267 Uh, honestly, I feel like I would remember that. 429 00:15:41,377 --> 00:15:43,037 - Ah, good. I must've misheard you. 430 00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,837 I guess that means I don't have to do this. 431 00:15:44,947 --> 00:15:47,077 Goddamn it. 432 00:15:47,177 --> 00:15:49,947 Hey, I told you... 433 00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:57,817 Son of a bitch! 434 00:15:57,927 --> 00:15:59,927 Problem? 435 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,927 Well, not if you stand still 436 00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:04,897 for, like, two freaking seconds. 437 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,327 Yeah, I hear you. 438 00:16:06,427 --> 00:16:09,197 I'm kind of like a... Uh... I'm like a... 439 00:16:09,297 --> 00:16:11,837 Muhammad all over the damn place? 440 00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:14,607 Damn it! 441 00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:19,907 Go! 442 00:16:27,857 --> 00:16:28,857 Hey, Lana, 443 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,317 how's the "non-murdering bad guys" thing going? 444 00:16:31,427 --> 00:16:33,187 Well, like everything else you touch, 445 00:16:33,287 --> 00:16:35,757 it's kind of turned to shit. 446 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,097 Oh, my god! 447 00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:40,897 Did you just see that? 448 00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:43,797 Full-on midair head shot! 449 00:16:43,907 --> 00:16:45,297 That was so pre-coma me. 450 00:16:45,407 --> 00:16:47,167 Yeah, just like being pinned down, 451 00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:48,937 about to die, and it's all your fault 452 00:16:49,037 --> 00:16:51,037 feels pretty pre-coma you also. 453 00:16:51,147 --> 00:16:52,907 Right? 454 00:16:53,007 --> 00:16:54,107 Although... 455 00:16:54,217 --> 00:16:55,877 That's kind of new. 456 00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:06,257 Don't move! 457 00:17:06,327 --> 00:17:08,257 Lana, am I still in a coma? 458 00:17:08,357 --> 00:17:10,957 - What are you... no. God damn it, no. 459 00:17:11,067 --> 00:17:13,727 Damn, because this is gonna hurt. 460 00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:18,297 Any last words, big mama? 461 00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:21,837 Yeah, they rhyme with go fu... 462 00:17:30,177 --> 00:17:32,177 You have got to be kidding me! 463 00:17:32,287 --> 00:17:34,087 Oh, how you like that, 464 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,517 Daniel day-loser? 465 00:17:35,617 --> 00:17:39,157 - As in "my left foot." Yeah, yeah, that's pretty good. 466 00:17:43,457 --> 00:17:46,827 Ah, just like we planned. 467 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:53,707 But you haven't seen the last of Conway stern! 468 00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:55,137 Ow. 469 00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:57,937 Which... is it my real name? 470 00:17:58,047 --> 00:17:59,907 I'll never tell you! 471 00:18:00,007 --> 00:18:01,407 Oh, my god, 472 00:18:01,517 --> 00:18:04,877 this hurts so much more than losing the hand. 473 00:18:09,217 --> 00:18:11,887 Good news! 474 00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:13,087 Dear god. 475 00:18:13,187 --> 00:18:16,327 OldwaybetterCheryl is so back. 476 00:18:16,427 --> 00:18:18,357 From where, a truck stop bacchanalia? 477 00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:22,297 Uh, sure, let's go with that. 478 00:18:22,397 --> 00:18:24,297 And where the hell have you been? 479 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,937 Uh, this new place called almost dying. 480 00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:29,207 - Hardly. - You! 481 00:18:29,307 --> 00:18:32,907 You've ruined my entire operation! 482 00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:35,007 Oh, go stuff a sock in it! 483 00:18:35,117 --> 00:18:36,217 Swear to Christ, 484 00:18:36,317 --> 00:18:38,217 I have to do everything around here. 485 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,947 Now clean this up! 486 00:18:49,297 --> 00:18:52,897 Hey, where the hell's Cyril? 487 00:18:55,137 --> 00:18:57,937 Hello? 488 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,037 Oh, for the love of... 489 00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:01,337 You forgot one! 490 00:19:01,437 --> 00:19:03,407 - Sorry, mother. Mission focused. 491 00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:05,407 Your words. Can't go back. 492 00:19:05,507 --> 00:19:07,347 Christ, Archer, did you leave him 493 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,847 just to get your parking space back? 494 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,787 No. 495 00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:41,817 Made in Georgia.