1 00:00:05,236 --> 00:00:07,830 So, again I just wanted on record 2 00:00:07,918 --> 00:00:10,183 I'm 100% against this. 3 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:13,067 Aw, you're 100% against everything cool. 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,897 No, I'm not. Shut up. 5 00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:17,425 - Like what? - Um, Ranch Tub. 6 00:00:17,513 --> 00:00:18,505 - Oh, for the... - Come on, man. 7 00:00:18,593 --> 00:00:20,331 Everybody was against Ranch Tub! 8 00:00:20,419 --> 00:00:23,066 Seriously, Pam, quit trying to make Ranch Tub happen. 9 00:00:23,154 --> 00:00:25,144 Do I even want to know what that is? 10 00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:27,472 Only if you never want to eat ranch again. 11 00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:29,378 - I meant ranch. - What? 12 00:00:29,466 --> 00:00:31,028 That's a food? It's not important. 13 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,348 - I wouldn't go that far. - Can we 14 00:00:32,435 --> 00:00:33,809 - please... - Cyril, shut up. - Seriously. 15 00:00:33,896 --> 00:00:35,941 Come on, if we're gonna do this, let's do it already. 16 00:00:36,028 --> 00:00:37,463 We're sitting ducks with you two out there. 17 00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:39,859 - Well, whose fault is that? - What? Yours! 18 00:00:39,947 --> 00:00:41,886 You made us stop on the way to Earth for the damn thing. 19 00:00:41,973 --> 00:00:44,620 Exactly, and everybody remember that 20 00:00:44,708 --> 00:00:46,339 when it's time to divvy it up. 21 00:00:46,427 --> 00:00:47,733 Do you think it's worth anything? 22 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:49,675 Hmm, hard to say. 23 00:00:52,224 --> 00:00:53,534 I've never seen anything like it. 24 00:00:53,622 --> 00:00:55,312 So you just jam it with my new pen? 25 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,167 This is new, this pen right here? 26 00:00:57,255 --> 00:00:58,810 Yes, as a matter... 27 00:00:58,943 --> 00:01:00,269 - You know... - Ooh. 28 00:01:00,357 --> 00:01:01,378 Maybe it's ambergris. 29 00:01:01,466 --> 00:01:03,033 How could it be ambergris? 30 00:01:03,121 --> 00:01:04,992 If a whale puked it up, duh. 31 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,560 Oh, a space whale? 32 00:01:06,705 --> 00:01:08,533 I don't know all the types of whale! 33 00:01:08,621 --> 00:01:10,762 And yet somehow you know about ambergr... 34 00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:12,245 Oh, maybe its mithril! 35 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,635 Is that some other food? 36 00:01:13,723 --> 00:01:15,620 No! And it's not mithril. 37 00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:16,745 Just checking. 38 00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:18,801 Whatever the hell it is, just box it up 39 00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:20,073 and let's go already! 40 00:01:20,161 --> 00:01:21,529 All right! Jesus! 41 00:01:21,692 --> 00:01:22,917 So what do you think, Cyril? 42 00:01:23,005 --> 00:01:24,659 About what? 43 00:01:24,747 --> 00:01:27,489 Is it firm enough to shove in the box? 44 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,502 Nobody? 45 00:01:31,163 --> 00:01:32,807 What, like "space phrasing"? 46 00:01:32,996 --> 00:01:35,229 No. Never mind. 47 00:02:08,814 --> 00:02:11,674 *ARCHER * Season 10 Episode 08 Episode Title :"1999: Cubert" 48 00:02:19,644 --> 00:02:21,807 And radiation levels are... 49 00:02:21,895 --> 00:02:24,333 normal... across the spectrum. 50 00:02:24,421 --> 00:02:27,401 Well, keep testing. Radiation's just one danger. 51 00:02:27,489 --> 00:02:29,230 That thing could be carrying deadly bacteria 52 00:02:29,318 --> 00:02:30,995 - or some kind of virus. - First of all- 53 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:33,018 Bacteria and virus are the same thing, dummy. 54 00:02:33,106 --> 00:02:34,282 - No, they're not. - Shut up. 55 00:02:34,451 --> 00:02:35,885 - Krieger? - They are not. 56 00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:37,714 Oh, well, what am I thinking of? 57 00:02:37,802 --> 00:02:39,630 Space whores, presumably. 58 00:02:39,730 --> 00:02:41,341 Well, right then, I was, but... 59 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,356 Hey, nobody gets out of there until I'm sure 60 00:02:43,444 --> 00:02:44,924 that thing's not a hazard to the ship, 61 00:02:45,011 --> 00:02:46,491 so the longer you dick around, 62 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,346 the longer you're gonna stay in quarantine. 63 00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:50,432 - Any questions? - What the... 64 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,917 Yeah, are you doinks done yet? 65 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,823 'Cause I wanna check that crazy thing out. 66 00:02:53,911 --> 00:02:55,260 - Pam! - What? 67 00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:57,370 You just broke quarantine, dumb-ass. 68 00:02:57,458 --> 00:02:58,894 So if there's anything deadly on it, 69 00:02:58,982 --> 00:03:00,643 now the entire ship's infected. 70 00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:02,733 Yeah, but you wouldn't have been. 71 00:03:02,859 --> 00:03:04,643 - What? - Helmet, genius. 72 00:03:04,731 --> 00:03:06,367 God damn it. 73 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,277 I'm gonna call him Cubert! 74 00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,042 Okay, that was the last test. 75 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:17,182 And I can confidently say that the object poses 76 00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:19,529 no nuclear, chemical, or biological threat 77 00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:20,984 to the ship or crew. 78 00:03:21,072 --> 00:03:23,507 Not that we could've done anything about itif it did, 79 00:03:23,595 --> 00:03:25,562 - thanks to Pam. - You are welcome. 80 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:27,062 Hey, can we take a second? 81 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:29,101 Isn't it crazy that that little scanner 82 00:03:29,189 --> 00:03:31,538 can do all those wildly different tests? 83 00:03:31,626 --> 00:03:34,343 - I mean, come on. - Yeah, pretty great. 84 00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:37,343 Yes, hooray for everything. Now, what's it worth? 85 00:03:37,431 --> 00:03:38,585 Well, that, I can't say. 86 00:03:38,673 --> 00:03:40,375 I don't even know what elements it's made of... 87 00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:42,507 Assuming they're even known to us. 88 00:03:42,595 --> 00:03:44,162 I'll have to do many more tests to... 89 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:45,812 Ooh, here's a test. 90 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,585 Cut the damn thing open and... 91 00:03:47,673 --> 00:03:49,093 Whoa, hey! 92 00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:51,140 - Cool! - Holy shit! It's magnetic! 93 00:03:51,228 --> 00:03:52,821 No, I don't think so. 94 00:03:52,909 --> 00:03:54,679 There's metal all over the place in here, so... 95 00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:56,335 Oh, my God! Our fillings! 96 00:03:56,515 --> 00:03:58,632 What are you talking about? 97 00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:00,903 A, fillings are nonferrous, so... 98 00:04:03,484 --> 00:04:07,215 So... 99 00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:08,992 So even if it were magnetic... 100 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,125 It's not gonna eat your damn fillings. 101 00:04:17,188 --> 00:04:19,046 But I don't think it is a magnet. 102 00:04:19,605 --> 00:04:22,085 - See? - Well, then how... 103 00:04:22,211 --> 00:04:24,953 Okay, um, pick up another scalpel. 104 00:04:25,824 --> 00:04:27,391 - And? - Huh. 105 00:04:27,564 --> 00:04:29,077 Well, I had a theory... 106 00:04:31,064 --> 00:04:32,659 Damn it, woman! If you don't... 107 00:04:32,747 --> 00:04:34,243 - Ah! - Oh, shit. 108 00:04:34,331 --> 00:04:35,571 Ahem! 109 00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,367 That it was reacting to a weapon. 110 00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:39,654 Then let's kill it! Kill it! 111 00:04:39,741 --> 00:04:40,916 Kill it before... 112 00:04:41,003 --> 00:04:42,047 Whoa! Aah! 113 00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:43,527 - Oh, shit. - Uh... 114 00:04:43,614 --> 00:04:45,616 Hmm, or maybejust aggression. 115 00:04:45,712 --> 00:04:46,522 - What? - Huh. 116 00:04:46,610 --> 00:04:48,484 Come on, you're saying it can read our emotions? 117 00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:51,163 I'm not saying anything... yet. 118 00:04:52,278 --> 00:04:53,868 - How 'bout now? - Oh, no. 119 00:04:53,985 --> 00:04:57,336 Sorry, need to do a whole bigseries of tests before I can... 120 00:04:59,762 --> 00:05:03,194 - Huh, still interrupting. - Typical. 121 00:05:03,282 --> 00:05:06,178 But we should probably... uh... 122 00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:08,510 Carol, come on. Let's get out of there. 123 00:05:09,979 --> 00:05:12,954 Wow, that's... 124 00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:15,210 Somebody give me a hand here. I can help. 125 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:17,032 Somebody strong. 126 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,819 Ready? 127 00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:23,867 I mean... I mean, that's crazy, right? 128 00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:26,374 All right, Jesus. I'm doing it. 129 00:05:26,462 --> 00:05:28,487 - Okay, Pam, you're up. - Mmkay. 130 00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,940 One, two, three, go. 131 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,778 Son of a... 132 00:05:33,895 --> 00:05:37,567 Go! 133 00:05:39,614 --> 00:05:41,050 I just thought of something. 134 00:05:41,138 --> 00:05:43,309 Oh, my God, if you say "Ranch Tub"... 135 00:05:43,397 --> 00:05:44,549 No, shut up. Look, 136 00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:46,747 I can bench, like, 500 kilos, 137 00:05:46,835 --> 00:05:49,446 so I can keep pulling on her, but... 138 00:05:49,534 --> 00:05:50,941 Eventually something's gotta give. 139 00:05:51,029 --> 00:05:53,520 Like her birdy little neck bones. 140 00:05:53,608 --> 00:05:55,174 Because whatever this thing is, 141 00:05:55,262 --> 00:05:57,511 I mean, it's obviously supernatural. 142 00:05:57,599 --> 00:05:59,252 Well, since when is it supernatural? 143 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:00,994 - Well, it's not a magnet. - Oh, come on. 144 00:06:01,082 --> 00:06:03,302 So those are our only two options, 145 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,747 ghosts or magnets? 146 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:07,741 - I mean... - Oh, come on. 147 00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:09,309 This is just some bullshit of yours 148 00:06:09,397 --> 00:06:10,831 to put off going back to Earth. 149 00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:12,129 What? 150 00:06:12,217 --> 00:06:14,176 So, so what, Lana, I conjured up 151 00:06:14,264 --> 00:06:16,909 some kind of... telepathic ghost cube? 152 00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,520 I didn't say you conjured it up, dickwrap. 153 00:06:19,608 --> 00:06:21,208 I said that... 154 00:06:23,321 --> 00:06:25,083 Huh. 155 00:06:26,582 --> 00:06:27,762 Well, I hope you're all... 156 00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:30,035 Jeezy Petes. 157 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,038 - Happy. - Is she breathing? 158 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,192 - No. - So she's... 159 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:35,673 - I mean... - Oh! 160 00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:38,154 If only we had access to some sort of device 161 00:06:38,242 --> 00:06:39,766 which could tell us! 162 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:42,321 Krieger! What's that? 163 00:06:42,409 --> 00:06:44,759 Oh, right, the scanner! Doy. 164 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,738 Hang on, let me reset it for... 165 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,301 Are you okay? 166 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:53,543 - I think so. - What was it like? 167 00:06:53,631 --> 00:06:55,546 - What did you see? - I don't know. It... 168 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,145 I can't explain it. 169 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,746 Oh, my God! 170 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,067 - What? - I just remembered. 171 00:07:00,155 --> 00:07:02,679 - Remembered what? - I don't even have fillings. 172 00:07:18,975 --> 00:07:20,967 So that whole time you're in there, 173 00:07:21,076 --> 00:07:22,662 you didn't see anything? 174 00:07:22,778 --> 00:07:25,457 No, I mean, it's hard to explain. 175 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,115 It was kind of like I was nothing... 176 00:07:28,222 --> 00:07:29,506 and everything. 177 00:07:29,594 --> 00:07:30,662 If that makes any sense. 178 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,183 About as much as what normally 179 00:07:32,271 --> 00:07:33,424 comes out of your mouth. 180 00:07:33,511 --> 00:07:35,553 And speaking of your mouth... 181 00:07:36,084 --> 00:07:37,241 What about it? 182 00:07:37,329 --> 00:07:38,768 You're really packing it away there. 183 00:07:38,856 --> 00:07:40,822 Um, I'm hungry. Sue me. 184 00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:42,186 I will if it turns out you ate 185 00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:44,193 all the priceless filling out of that cube. 186 00:07:44,318 --> 00:07:47,653 Oh, my God. 187 00:07:47,742 --> 00:07:50,318 What? 188 00:07:50,406 --> 00:07:51,514 Pointless. 189 00:07:51,602 --> 00:07:52,968 You really think it's worth something? 190 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:53,969 It's gotta be, 191 00:07:54,097 --> 00:07:55,457 I mean, to somebody. 192 00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:57,475 And whom might that somebody be? 193 00:07:57,563 --> 00:08:00,144 Well, obviously we need to do some market research, 194 00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:01,811 but it's... I-t's gone. 195 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:02,920 - What? - Gone? - Wait, what? 196 00:08:05,034 --> 00:08:07,689 - What are you doing? - What's the matter? 197 00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,636 Hey, the food ain't that bad, baby. 198 00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:13,896 What's wrong? Are you choking? 199 00:08:13,984 --> 00:08:16,779 - Typical. - W-w-w-what's the matter? 200 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:18,986 - This is serious. - Get a spoon in her! 201 00:08:19,074 --> 00:08:20,896 Space phrasing! 202 00:08:21,037 --> 00:08:23,387 No. Plus, that's a collectible! 203 00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:26,172 Get that spoon in her! 204 00:08:26,259 --> 00:08:29,132 I'm trying. 205 00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:35,953 - Oh, God. - Ugh! 206 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,718 - Gross. - What the shit with the spoon? 207 00:08:38,806 --> 00:08:39,764 - I... - We thought you were... 208 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,028 What, "She's choking, so let's shove 209 00:08:41,115 --> 00:08:42,863 a goddamn spoon down her throat"? 210 00:08:42,951 --> 00:08:44,543 - Yeah, Cyril. - Hey, you know what? 211 00:08:44,631 --> 00:08:46,235 I know the stupid cube is gone. 212 00:08:46,323 --> 00:08:47,722 - Yeah. - Yeah, what happened? 213 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,488 Yeah, what the shit, Krieger? 214 00:08:49,576 --> 00:08:52,855 It was right here on... well, six inches above the table. 215 00:08:52,973 --> 00:08:55,590 I needed some more sterilizing wipes, so I... 216 00:08:55,678 --> 00:08:57,289 Why would you need sterilizing wipes? 217 00:08:57,377 --> 00:08:59,727 - I... - Oh, Krieger, buddy. 218 00:08:59,814 --> 00:09:00,906 Please tell me you didn't try 219 00:09:00,993 --> 00:09:02,034 to have sexwith the ghost cube. 220 00:09:02,121 --> 00:09:03,514 - Krieger! - That's nasty, Krieger! 221 00:09:03,601 --> 00:09:04,950 Ew! - No, of course I didn't. 222 00:09:05,037 --> 00:09:06,517 We can check the security footage. 223 00:09:06,604 --> 00:09:08,481 There isn't any. The camera was off. 224 00:09:08,569 --> 00:09:09,737 Oh, how convenient. 225 00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:11,000 I did not have sex with the cube. 226 00:09:11,087 --> 00:09:13,218 Because first of all, with what? 227 00:09:13,306 --> 00:09:15,046 Oh, okay, okay. 228 00:09:15,134 --> 00:09:17,507 You wanna make your stupid little Ken Doll jokes? 229 00:09:17,595 --> 00:09:18,999 Would they be warranted? 230 00:09:19,182 --> 00:09:20,241 - I... - Focus, people. 231 00:09:20,329 --> 00:09:21,523 There's a million credits' worth 232 00:09:21,610 --> 00:09:22,959 of ghost cube missing. 233 00:09:23,499 --> 00:09:24,970 What happened, Ken? 234 00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,277 As I was saying... 235 00:09:27,364 --> 00:09:29,122 I needed more sterilizing wipes. 236 00:09:29,210 --> 00:09:31,288 I need more sterilizing wipes. 237 00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,500 So I walked out the door, and after it closed behind me, 238 00:09:34,588 --> 00:09:36,411 I keyed in the alphanumeric code 239 00:09:36,499 --> 00:09:37,882 to lock it. 240 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,561 I walked down to the supply room, 241 00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,632 got the wipes, and walked back. 242 00:09:45,737 --> 00:09:49,147 I keyed in the code to unlock the afore mentioned door. 243 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,366 I walked in... 244 00:09:56,454 --> 00:09:57,368 What the... 245 00:09:57,456 --> 00:09:58,936 The cube was gone. 246 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,710 So obviously one of you took it. 247 00:10:01,798 --> 00:10:03,165 - No, we did not! - That's bullshit. 248 00:10:03,252 --> 00:10:05,176 Nobody took your new girlfriend. 249 00:10:05,264 --> 00:10:07,796 Yeah, plus, we were all together in the mess, so... 250 00:10:07,884 --> 00:10:09,318 So how did it leave a locked room? 251 00:10:09,406 --> 00:10:11,016 Plenty of ways. 252 00:10:11,271 --> 00:10:12,451 Here, hold this. 253 00:10:14,846 --> 00:10:16,650 All right, let's go find that thing. 254 00:10:16,738 --> 00:10:17,993 And let's all split up. 255 00:10:18,081 --> 00:10:20,155 We can cover a lot more ground that way. 256 00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:24,110 So individually go bumbling around this big ole spaceship 257 00:10:24,198 --> 00:10:25,226 looking for a ghost. 258 00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:27,576 To bumble or notis up to you, 259 00:10:27,709 --> 00:10:30,451 but whoever finds it gets to keep it. 260 00:10:30,539 --> 00:10:32,157 - Wait, what? Findies keepies! 261 00:10:32,245 --> 00:10:33,491 - Wait a minute, what? - Huh? 262 00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:38,397 - Out of my way! - No, no, no, no! 263 00:10:38,485 --> 00:10:40,740 Get out of my way! No! 264 00:10:40,828 --> 00:10:42,079 And bumble it is. 265 00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:44,092 - Get out of my way, meat-head. - I saw it first! 266 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,767 Wait a minute. 267 00:10:45,855 --> 00:10:48,540 Now, look, before you all go running off half-cocked... 268 00:10:48,706 --> 00:10:49,947 Krieger, we don't have time to pile on you 269 00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:51,470 with a bunch of no-dick jokes. 270 00:10:51,558 --> 00:10:52,876 I knew it right when I said it. 271 00:10:52,964 --> 00:10:54,633 - I call bridge! - Well, I'm coming with you. 272 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:55,922 - No, you're not. - Uh... 273 00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:57,500 well, then I-I get the crew quarters. 274 00:10:57,588 --> 00:10:59,231 You better not go in my boudoir. 275 00:10:59,342 --> 00:11:00,909 Okay, I call dibson the... aah! 276 00:11:01,058 --> 00:11:03,887 - Dibs on them ribs, sucka! - Oh, holy shit. 277 00:11:03,975 --> 00:11:05,107 That really hurt. 278 00:11:05,226 --> 00:11:07,648 Well, if you think that hurt... 279 00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:11,816 That's disconcerting. 280 00:11:11,903 --> 00:11:13,750 Yeah, ya think? 281 00:11:14,128 --> 00:11:15,521 Yes. 282 00:11:16,352 --> 00:11:17,836 I said no, God damn it! 283 00:11:18,991 --> 00:11:20,007 - Get out! - Hey! 284 00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,466 I won't have you manhandling 285 00:11:21,554 --> 00:11:22,601 my beautiful things. 286 00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:24,219 Well, how do I know it's not in there? 287 00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:27,086 - Because we said so. - Who's "we"? 288 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,492 Is that supposed to be funny? 289 00:11:34,099 --> 00:11:36,232 Hope it was his dick. 290 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,125 Right in the foot! - Eh. 291 00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:41,063 Any luck? - No, Lana. 292 00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:43,921 And this is my area, so... 293 00:11:44,196 --> 00:11:46,078 So... 294 00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:49,179 So... so talk about space whores, huh? 295 00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,328 - Excuse me? - I, um... 296 00:11:51,621 --> 00:11:54,319 Uh, nothing. Uh, ne... never mind. 297 00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:56,164 I'll never your mind. 298 00:11:56,269 --> 00:11:57,531 Um, airball. 299 00:11:57,657 --> 00:11:59,702 I'll... air your balls. 300 00:11:59,790 --> 00:12:01,513 Yeah, yeah, you will. 301 00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:02,664 God damn it! 302 00:12:02,752 --> 00:12:04,773 Holy shit, I think I'm seeing things. 303 00:12:04,861 --> 00:12:06,602 I maybe need to get some sleep, huh? 304 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:09,375 Or at least my balls aired out. 305 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,451 Yeah, right? 306 00:12:11,539 --> 00:12:13,095 - Hey. - Who the hell are you, man? 307 00:12:13,182 --> 00:12:15,734 What are you... I'm TV's Michael Gray. 308 00:12:15,866 --> 00:12:17,650 TV's Michael Gray who? 309 00:12:17,996 --> 00:12:21,304 Uh, TV's Michael Gray says quit being a dick 310 00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,554 and open the door? 311 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,445 Seriously, quit being a dick. 312 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,328 Okay, um, h-hang on. 313 00:12:27,544 --> 00:12:29,039 Okay, on three. Ready? 314 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:30,521 Can we not do it on one? 315 00:12:30,609 --> 00:12:31,929 Shut up, okay. 316 00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:33,105 One... 317 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:34,317 two! 318 00:12:37,059 --> 00:12:39,789 Disconcerting. 319 00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:47,656 Michael. 320 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,539 TV's Michael Gray. 321 00:12:49,695 --> 00:12:51,296 Mikey-Mike, where are you? 322 00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:52,698 Who the hell's Mikey-Mike? 323 00:12:52,785 --> 00:12:55,138 Exactly, that's what I'm... 324 00:12:55,226 --> 00:12:56,786 'Cause you think he'd like some of this? 325 00:12:58,487 --> 00:12:59,708 What? No. 326 00:12:59,796 --> 00:13:01,740 Stop that. What... what are you doing? 327 00:13:04,015 --> 00:13:05,968 I'm hungry. Sue me. 328 00:13:07,181 --> 00:13:08,453 And then get up to the bridge. 329 00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:10,326 Her Lanaship has some big announcement. 330 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,789 Whoa, what, did somebody find it? 331 00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:13,850 Find what? 332 00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:16,015 What cube? 333 00:13:16,156 --> 00:13:18,138 Mother, I am extremely not in the mood, 334 00:13:18,226 --> 00:13:20,015 so seriously, where is it? 335 00:13:20,109 --> 00:13:23,512 You mean like an ice cube or something in a Rubik... 336 00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:25,724 - Quit dicking around already! - Hey, whoa. 337 00:13:25,812 --> 00:13:27,271 I'm talking about the mysterious 338 00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:29,367 and possibly haunted ghost cube 339 00:13:29,546 --> 00:13:31,208 that Carol got her head stuck in. 340 00:13:31,296 --> 00:13:32,651 I think I'd remember that. 341 00:13:32,738 --> 00:13:34,653 And I'd be the first one to believe 342 00:13:34,741 --> 00:13:36,453 she got her head stuck in something. 343 00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:38,130 - Thank you. - But you are just 344 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,527 sounding insane. 345 00:13:39,615 --> 00:13:41,966 You sound insane! All of you! 346 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:45,226 Oh, oh, and I all know what you're trying to do. 347 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:46,974 You wanna 348 00:13:47,062 --> 00:13:49,102 maybe walk us through that? 349 00:13:49,189 --> 00:13:50,495 Oh, my God. 350 00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:52,849 I know somebody found the cube 351 00:13:52,937 --> 00:13:54,404 and that it's findies keepies. 352 00:13:54,492 --> 00:13:55,718 You mean finders keepers. 353 00:13:55,805 --> 00:13:58,044 But don't stand there and lie to me. 354 00:13:58,132 --> 00:13:59,615 - Nobody's... - Plus, you dressing 355 00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:01,351 - like a whore? - Excuse me? 356 00:14:01,439 --> 00:14:03,904 - And how is Cyril's foot okay? - Uh, what, now? 357 00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:05,521 You got shot in the foot, asshole. 358 00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:08,359 And, oh, my God, TV's Michael Gray? 359 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,359 - TV's Michael who? - Huh? 360 00:14:09,447 --> 00:14:10,609 All right. 361 00:14:10,697 --> 00:14:13,005 I don't know if you got in the meds locker 362 00:14:13,093 --> 00:14:16,817 or if this is just the onset of tertiary syphilis, but... 363 00:14:16,905 --> 00:14:18,427 He better not have syphilis. 364 00:14:18,515 --> 00:14:20,341 Why had he better not have syphilis? 365 00:14:20,429 --> 00:14:23,161 I... wh... because syphilis is bad, dude. 366 00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:24,852 Listen to me, God damn it! 367 00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:25,976 - Oh! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, - Easy! 368 00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:27,092 whoa, man. 369 00:14:27,179 --> 00:14:29,067 And speaking of meds, 370 00:14:29,154 --> 00:14:32,718 don't you think you could use a bit of a... relaxer? 371 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,504 - No! - Oh, now... 372 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:37,586 Krieger, don't you have something to take the edge off? 373 00:14:37,673 --> 00:14:39,116 As a matter of fact... 374 00:14:39,204 --> 00:14:41,099 You and your pills keep away from me, you... 375 00:14:41,187 --> 00:14:42,547 You dickless fish! 376 00:14:42,634 --> 00:14:44,169 - Wha... - He's got a gun! 377 00:14:44,257 --> 00:14:45,263 Sterling! 378 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,204 Sterling, look at me. 379 00:14:47,351 --> 00:14:49,192 Now, I don't knowwhat's wrong, 380 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,775 but I promise you, whatever it is, we'll fix it. 381 00:14:52,862 --> 00:14:54,385 But first you have to trust us. 382 00:14:54,472 --> 00:14:56,263 - Oh, no. - Suit yourself. 383 00:14:56,351 --> 00:14:57,789 - Krieger? - Yep, yep, yep! 384 00:14:57,877 --> 00:14:59,061 No, no, no, no... 385 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,022 You dick. 386 00:15:04,118 --> 00:15:05,051 Jesus! 387 00:15:09,443 --> 00:15:11,837 All right. 388 00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:13,988 Krieger, take him down to the med lab 389 00:15:14,076 --> 00:15:16,670 and try to find out what in the hell's the matter with him. 390 00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:18,669 Him? What about me? 391 00:15:18,757 --> 00:15:20,324 We know what's wrong with you. 392 00:15:20,537 --> 00:15:22,195 Yeah, foot hole. 393 00:15:22,654 --> 00:15:23,762 Well? 394 00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:25,317 Well, it's really kind of weird. 395 00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:26,852 Uh, no shit. 396 00:15:26,939 --> 00:15:28,816 The scanner shows normal vitals 397 00:15:28,904 --> 00:15:30,004 and doesn't show anything 398 00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:32,170 physically or neurologically unusual. 399 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,982 No drugs in his system and... 400 00:15:34,106 --> 00:15:36,811 just what I assume is a therapeutic level of bourbon. 401 00:15:36,951 --> 00:15:39,418 And... no syphilis? 402 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:41,650 No venereal disease of any kind. 403 00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:43,433 Or judgment, by the way. 404 00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:44,653 - Don't care. - Eh. 405 00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,701 How does that thing know all that? 406 00:15:46,789 --> 00:15:48,269 I know. Pretty great. 407 00:15:48,439 --> 00:15:50,754 All right, keep scanning or whatever, 408 00:15:50,842 --> 00:15:52,129 and keep him down here 409 00:15:52,217 --> 00:15:53,879 until you find out what's wrong with him. 410 00:15:53,967 --> 00:15:55,881 My therapeutic levels are low. 411 00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:58,231 And I could actually use some sterilizing wipes. 412 00:15:58,318 --> 00:16:00,233 I'll bet. Keep an eye on him? 413 00:16:00,521 --> 00:16:01,974 Mm-hmm. 414 00:16:04,912 --> 00:16:07,035 Uh... hello? 415 00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:09,982 Is there a reason you locked the door from the outside? 416 00:16:10,287 --> 00:16:12,662 Krieger? Hello? 417 00:16:12,756 --> 00:16:14,519 Super. 418 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:15,693 - Is it? - Oh! 419 00:16:15,781 --> 00:16:17,355 Jesus Christ, Archer! 420 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,169 What are you doing? You scared the shit out of me! 421 00:16:19,257 --> 00:16:20,318 Oh, I'm sorry. 422 00:16:20,406 --> 00:16:21,473 Well... 423 00:16:21,561 --> 00:16:23,068 what'd ya expect, nerfnuts? 424 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,585 It's alcohol. It's gonna hurt. 425 00:16:24,673 --> 00:16:26,137 Well, if you think that hurt... 426 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:28,139 Yes! Yes, I do think it hurt! 427 00:16:28,295 --> 00:16:30,465 You'd better not be wasting that. 428 00:16:30,553 --> 00:16:33,551 Um, guess it kind of dependson how you mean. 429 00:16:33,639 --> 00:16:35,465 I mean, we've really only got 430 00:16:35,553 --> 00:16:36,879 two options here, Lana. 431 00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:40,176 One is that this is all some sort of ruse, 432 00:16:40,264 --> 00:16:42,840 and the other is that I'm crazy. 433 00:16:42,928 --> 00:16:44,957 You're kind of acting crazy. 434 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,717 I don't think I'm acting crazy. 435 00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,151 That's kind of one of the symptoms. 436 00:16:49,239 --> 00:16:51,676 Ah, the old catch-21. 437 00:16:51,763 --> 00:16:55,637 21, 22, whatever it takes. 438 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,240 Ow! Shit! 439 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,683 Jesus Christ, you are crazy! 440 00:16:59,771 --> 00:17:02,230 Yeah? Would a crazy person do this? 441 00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,080 No, no, no, no, wait! 442 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,908 - Oof. - Yes. 443 00:17:21,401 --> 00:17:22,533 No, no, no, no, no, no! 444 00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:23,839 Hey, what the... 445 00:17:25,928 --> 00:17:27,843 mergency. 446 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:28,931 Med lab. 447 00:17:29,018 --> 00:17:30,497 What emergency? 448 00:17:30,584 --> 00:17:31,900 Well, it has been almost a minute 449 00:17:31,988 --> 00:17:33,299 since Archer got some attention. 450 00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:34,937 You're just a mess. 451 00:17:35,024 --> 00:17:36,068 Holy shit! Look! 452 00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,810 Oh, my God! Come on! 453 00:17:38,897 --> 00:17:41,030 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 454 00:17:42,118 --> 00:17:43,336 Argh! 455 00:17:47,210 --> 00:17:48,573 Come on, come on, come on, come on, 456 00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:49,734 come on, come on, come on, come on! 457 00:17:49,821 --> 00:17:51,518 Why the hell is it so long? 458 00:17:51,605 --> 00:17:53,329 - Space phrasing. - That's just how it comes! 459 00:17:53,409 --> 00:17:54,509 - Twofer. - Oh, my God, 460 00:17:54,597 --> 00:17:56,001 just reset it, Dr. Science! 461 00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:58,264 Will you shut up? 462 00:17:58,351 --> 00:18:01,790 If I mess up, I have to start all over again! 463 00:18:03,111 --> 00:18:04,929 Sterling, stop! 464 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,240 Do you hear me? 465 00:18:06,328 --> 00:18:07,970 Stop it this instant! 466 00:18:08,057 --> 00:18:09,232 What are you doing? 467 00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,523 My frickin' tit! 468 00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:15,238 Sterling! 469 00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:16,898 A Tennessee titty twister? 470 00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:18,456 - Whoa! - Whoa! - Whoa! - Whoa! 471 00:18:18,559 --> 00:18:21,164 Well, how do ya likethese titties? 472 00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:26,075 Lana? Are you all right? 473 00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:27,337 I... 474 00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:29,350 I think so. 475 00:18:29,438 --> 00:18:31,305 Ugh, my magazine's not. 476 00:18:31,393 --> 00:18:34,375 - Shut up. - And, Pam, Gillette... 477 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,996 throw his ass in the brig. 478 00:18:38,414 --> 00:18:39,741 Yeah, well... 479 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,091 I guess we'll see about that! 480 00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:43,527 Huh? 481 00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,695 Pfff. The brig. 482 00:18:45,877 --> 00:18:47,226 Like, where do they get off? 483 00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:49,600 They're the ones running around, changing clothes 484 00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:51,576 and shooting people in the neckwith darts 485 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,538 and... eating perfectly good magazines. 486 00:18:54,625 --> 00:18:56,591 You know? I mean, that's crazy. 487 00:18:56,679 --> 00:18:58,246 I mean, right? 488 00:18:59,293 --> 00:19:00,867 - Yes, sir. - Yeah. 489 00:19:00,971 --> 00:19:03,017 Thank you.Mmm. 490 00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:04,765 God, that's good. 491 00:19:05,766 --> 00:19:10,180 Wait, are... are... are you supposed to be here? 492 00:19:11,729 --> 00:19:12,984 No, sir. 493 00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:16,821 Huh. Now, that's disconcerting. 494 00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,305 Yes, sir. 495 00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:25,406 Corrections done by srjanapala 496 00:19:51,987 --> 00:19:55,381 Made in Georgia.