1 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:56,838 ♪ One life, I'm gonna live it up ♪ 2 00:00:59,176 --> 00:01:03,645 ♪ I'm taking flight, I said I'll never get enough ♪ 3 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:11,880 ♪ Stand tall, I'm young and kinda proud ♪ 4 00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:18,393 ♪ I'm on top as long as the music's loud ♪ 5 00:01:21,131 --> 00:01:22,831 ♪ If you think I'll sit around ♪ 6 00:01:22,866 --> 00:01:24,132 ♪ As the world goes by ♪ 7 00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,448 ♪ You're thinking like a fool ♪ 8 00:01:25,472 --> 00:01:28,003 ♪ 'Cause it's a case of do or die ♪ 9 00:01:28,038 --> 00:01:31,073 ♪ Out there is a fortune waiting to be had ♪ 10 00:01:31,108 --> 00:01:32,268 ♪ If you think ♪ 11 00:01:32,303 --> 00:01:33,543 ♪ I'll let it go, you're mad ♪ 12 00:01:33,567 --> 00:01:34,776 ♪ You've got ♪ 13 00:01:34,812 --> 00:01:36,978 ♪ Another thing comin' ♪ 14 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,014 ♪ You've got another thing comin'♪ 15 00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:43,318 ♪ That's right ♪ 16 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:46,021 ♪ Here's where the talking ends ♪ 17 00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:50,192 ♪ Well, listen this night ♪ 18 00:01:50,227 --> 00:01:52,828 ♪ There'll be some action spent ♪ 19 00:01:55,466 --> 00:02:00,736 ♪ Drive hard, I'm calling all the shots ♪ 20 00:02:02,473 --> 00:02:06,942 ♪ I got an ace card, coming down on the rocks ♪ 21 00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:11,500 ♪ if you think I'll sit around ♪ 22 00:02:11,524 --> 00:02:13,915 ♪ While you chip away my brain ♪ 23 00:02:13,951 --> 00:02:17,652 Thar she blows, you moby dicks! 24 00:02:17,688 --> 00:02:19,755 ♪ Fortune waiting ♪ 25 00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:20,822 ♪ To be had ♪ 26 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,161 ♪ You've got another thing comin' ♪ 27 00:02:26,196 --> 00:02:29,197 ♪ You've got another thing comin' ♪ 28 00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,966 ♪ You've got another thing ♪ 29 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:33,969 Ah, what is it now? 30 00:02:34,004 --> 00:02:35,904 You know, we're only trying to steal back 31 00:02:35,939 --> 00:02:38,073 a priceless artifact that, by the way, 32 00:02:38,108 --> 00:02:42,077 belongs in a... Holy shit. 33 00:02:42,112 --> 00:02:45,500 - He woke up. - What? 34 00:02:46,016 --> 00:02:49,117 - Archer's awake? - Oh, my god! 35 00:02:49,153 --> 00:02:50,673 Oh, my god is right. 36 00:02:50,697 --> 00:02:55,056 If you thought that rocked, wait till you hear this. 37 00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:32,390 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 38 00:03:37,023 --> 00:03:38,103 Woodhouse. 39 00:03:39,492 --> 00:03:40,892 Woodhouse. 40 00:03:42,995 --> 00:03:43,995 Woodhouse! 41 00:03:44,096 --> 00:03:47,331 Oh. Never mind, you're dead, 42 00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:50,216 which is just so selfish. 43 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:02,182 God, we get it, phone. You ring. 44 00:04:02,218 --> 00:04:03,218 What now? 45 00:04:03,252 --> 00:04:05,719 Sterling, I expect to see you at work today. 46 00:04:05,754 --> 00:04:08,422 I was thinking maybe I'd just do what I did yesterday. 47 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:12,292 You know, stare into the void. The void stares into me. 48 00:04:12,328 --> 00:04:14,661 - Mostly void stuff. - No more stalling! 49 00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:16,630 I didn't raise a shrinking violet 50 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:19,666 - that wilts at the slightest... - Three-year coma, mother. 51 00:04:19,702 --> 00:04:22,636 Sure, coach, I'll rub some dirt on my nerve damage. 52 00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaking of, a new valet is coming at 9:00 53 00:04:26,275 --> 00:04:27,395 to see if he can do anything 54 00:04:27,409 --> 00:04:32,212 about that bacteria breeding facility you call a home. 55 00:04:32,248 --> 00:04:35,415 - I don't know. - Sterling, dear, I'm only doing this 56 00:04:35,451 --> 00:04:37,517 because you are totally incapable 57 00:04:37,553 --> 00:04:40,287 of taking care of yourself and always have been. 58 00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,588 That's very sweet, mother. 59 00:04:41,624 --> 00:04:43,590 I promise I'll give him a fair shake. 60 00:04:46,462 --> 00:04:49,429 - Good morning, sir. I'm your new... - It's 9:02! 61 00:04:49,465 --> 00:04:51,465 Oh, Woodhouse. 62 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,467 What I wouldn't give to force-feed you 63 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,502 aquarium gravel one last time. 64 00:04:55,537 --> 00:05:00,252 The turquoise, you hated that. 65 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,579 All right, all right, 66 00:05:05,614 --> 00:05:09,416 let's not make a big deal out of... this. 67 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:13,153 Thank you for so swiftly honoring my request. 68 00:05:15,324 --> 00:05:18,042 Oh, a wave, an entirely appropriate 69 00:05:18,043 --> 00:05:19,493 response to my heroism. 70 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,791 - Welcome back, sir. - Oh, that's it? 71 00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:26,633 I was expecting some kind of batshit crazy add-on. 72 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,568 I'm sure I don't know what you mean. 73 00:05:28,724 --> 00:05:31,358 Here's your briefing book, new staff handbook, 74 00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:35,562 - and your drink. - Thank you. Um, just out of curiosity, 75 00:05:35,597 --> 00:05:37,898 - when did you get your shit together? - Oh, I don't know. 76 00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,800 I guess it was probably around coma-o'clock. 77 00:05:39,835 --> 00:05:41,001 Wait, what? 78 00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:44,004 That's just an inside joke we had about your coma. 79 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:47,507 I guess you had to be there and not in a coma. 80 00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:48,775 Well, you made it... 81 00:05:48,811 --> 00:05:50,644 two hours late, but you're here. 82 00:05:50,679 --> 00:05:52,079 I'm supposed to be here at a time? 83 00:05:52,081 --> 00:05:55,682 We've got a mission tonight, and I want you on it. 84 00:05:55,717 --> 00:05:58,418 A mission? So we're really spies again? 85 00:05:58,454 --> 00:06:01,488 - Mm-hmm. - A quasi-independent, freelance 86 00:06:01,523 --> 00:06:02,823 international spy organization. 87 00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:05,792 - Don't worry about it. - I kind of feel like I should. 88 00:06:05,828 --> 00:06:07,561 Well, then still don't. 89 00:06:07,596 --> 00:06:10,697 - So now that we're all here... - Whoa, wait. What about Lana? 90 00:06:10,732 --> 00:06:13,767 She's doing... advance scouting. 91 00:06:13,802 --> 00:06:15,702 Man, I've hardly seen her at all. 92 00:06:15,737 --> 00:06:17,637 It would almost seem like she's ducking me. 93 00:06:18,907 --> 00:06:21,741 Oh, stop it with the portentous mumbles. 94 00:06:21,777 --> 00:06:23,710 We had a whole talk about that. 95 00:06:23,745 --> 00:06:26,680 The point is, our cover story is that 96 00:06:26,715 --> 00:06:28,949 we're providing security at a museum gala, 97 00:06:28,984 --> 00:06:33,353 but our true mission is a bit more interesting. 98 00:06:33,388 --> 00:06:35,655 - Cyril? - Well, our true purpose is to... 99 00:06:35,691 --> 00:06:38,530 Wait, why is Cyril talking? Wh... what is it, 100 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:39,893 best agent in the world gets to talk day 101 00:06:39,928 --> 00:06:44,231 and opposite day simultaneously? Uh-huh. 102 00:06:44,266 --> 00:06:45,866 We don't do that anymore, Archer. 103 00:06:47,085 --> 00:06:49,185 Jeezy petes. That keeps happening. 104 00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:51,921 The dangers of increased muscle mass, I guess. 105 00:06:51,957 --> 00:06:53,957 Hey, steroids aren't the answer 106 00:06:53,992 --> 00:06:57,160 no matter how inadequate you feel and in fact are. 107 00:06:57,195 --> 00:07:00,130 The only thing I'm injecting myself with is hard work, 108 00:07:00,165 --> 00:07:04,567 using the syringe of... Nope, lost it. 109 00:07:04,603 --> 00:07:07,488 Anyhoo... our target is Peregrine, 110 00:07:07,489 --> 00:07:09,205 the world's foremost art thief. 111 00:07:09,241 --> 00:07:13,109 He's going to try to steal this statue of weeping orpheus. 112 00:07:13,145 --> 00:07:16,614 We nabbed it from one of his warehouses to use as bait. 113 00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:17,648 Our objective... 114 00:07:17,649 --> 00:07:20,016 apprehend Peregrine and pass him to interpol. 115 00:07:20,052 --> 00:07:22,919 Man, you guys are lost without me. 116 00:07:22,954 --> 00:07:24,154 He's gonna know that's a ruse. 117 00:07:24,156 --> 00:07:26,189 Which is exactly why he'll come. 118 00:07:26,224 --> 00:07:28,925 Our psych profile shows a pathological need 119 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,594 - to demonstrate superiority. - Sound familiar? 120 00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,110 He'll show up to try to outsmart us. 121 00:07:33,134 --> 00:07:35,932 Nice briefing, Cyril. Super concise. 122 00:07:35,967 --> 00:07:38,401 What, you guys are friends now? 123 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:40,904 Well, I'm spent. 124 00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:43,039 And what a better way to celebrate my return 125 00:07:43,075 --> 00:07:45,275 than me escorting all of you to Chez Trop Cher 126 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:48,169 where I will generously allow you to buy me brunch. 127 00:07:48,204 --> 00:07:49,313 - Oh, no thank you. - Brunch... 128 00:07:49,337 --> 00:07:51,081 Can you guys take it somewhere else? 129 00:07:51,116 --> 00:07:53,750 New, better Cheryl is trying to get work done. 130 00:07:53,935 --> 00:07:56,610 - You used to be fun. - Yeah, well, your legs used to work. 131 00:07:56,634 --> 00:07:59,138 Look, we've been targeting Peregrine for months. 132 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:00,534 This is kind of a huge deal for us. 133 00:08:00,558 --> 00:08:03,243 So huge deal like your buddy just got out of a coma, 134 00:08:03,278 --> 00:08:05,278 or huge deal like art theft, 135 00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:07,947 which is basically a victimless crime? 136 00:08:07,983 --> 00:08:10,183 - Um... - We've, uh... we've got stuff to do. 137 00:08:10,218 --> 00:08:12,018 Come on, man, we'll hang out soon. 138 00:08:12,053 --> 00:08:13,319 I swear, but until then, 139 00:08:13,355 --> 00:08:16,289 maybe chill your balls out just a skosh. 140 00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,324 Oh, my balls are frosty, okay? 141 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,194 But if you're all too busy and/or stupid 142 00:08:21,229 --> 00:08:23,930 to go with me to brunch, I'll be in my office 143 00:08:23,965 --> 00:08:25,265 when you're ready to apologize. 144 00:08:25,460 --> 00:08:27,560 Not sure if this takes the sting out of it, 145 00:08:27,595 --> 00:08:30,463 but you don't actually have an office anymore. 146 00:08:30,498 --> 00:08:33,399 Oh, so I'm supposed to hang out where? 147 00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:37,403 In the break room, alone, like a pervert, 148 00:08:37,439 --> 00:08:41,207 wallowing in a miasma of microwaved fish curry 149 00:08:41,242 --> 00:08:42,542 and its subsequent farts. 150 00:08:42,577 --> 00:08:44,410 Sometimes you buy too much salmon. 151 00:08:44,446 --> 00:08:47,146 What, to attract bears? Did you get that? 152 00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,315 - There's a double meaning. - Yeah, subtle. 153 00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:52,185 Anyway, since my time here on earth is finite, 154 00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:53,319 Krieger wants to see you. 155 00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:55,154 Great, the only person with time to hang out 156 00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:57,423 is wanted for ethical violations in nine countries. 157 00:08:57,459 --> 00:08:59,292 It's up to ten now. 158 00:08:59,327 --> 00:09:01,294 Well, speaking of crimes against humanity, 159 00:09:01,329 --> 00:09:02,769 how do you fit anything in the fridge 160 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,564 with all of Cyril's proteins anyway? 161 00:09:04,599 --> 00:09:09,436 It's like the last helicopter out of Saigon in there, but shakes. 162 00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:17,310 - So... - The recently de-comafied brain 163 00:09:17,345 --> 00:09:18,625 is a complete mystery to science, 164 00:09:18,646 --> 00:09:22,048 like dark matter or why squirrels get so enraged 165 00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:25,284 - when they see me naked. - Uh-huh, nodding, no need to explore. 166 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,320 So what I want you to do 167 00:09:27,355 --> 00:09:29,422 is remember all of your coma dreams. 168 00:09:29,457 --> 00:09:33,873 Put them in your mind. Now... speak. 169 00:09:33,893 --> 00:09:35,394 There's so much. 170 00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:38,231 First, I was a private detective, right, in a... 171 00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:39,332 Yep, that's enough. 172 00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,887 Really? 'Cause there's kind of a lot. 173 00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,536 Yep, just needed enough to calibrate your brain waves. 174 00:09:43,571 --> 00:09:45,638 Though if you're looking to plumb your psyche 175 00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:48,274 with morally questionable "flatliners" -style 176 00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:50,409 experimentation, I'm down to clown. 177 00:09:50,445 --> 00:09:53,379 Tempting, but no, especially because for you, 178 00:09:53,414 --> 00:09:56,449 the clown in question is probably John Wayne gacy. 179 00:09:56,484 --> 00:09:59,903 - Exactly. - Yeah, I already have one of those 180 00:09:59,904 --> 00:10:03,222 - in my hand currently. - Not like this. 181 00:10:03,258 --> 00:10:04,457 I used your scan to calibrate 182 00:10:04,492 --> 00:10:08,261 your new brain wave sensitive tactical mobility device, 183 00:10:08,296 --> 00:10:10,563 or for short, BWSTMD. 184 00:10:10,598 --> 00:10:12,265 Krieger, you should probably start 185 00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:13,380 working backwards on those. 186 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,269 Let's just call it the tactil-cane. 187 00:10:16,304 --> 00:10:17,637 Hey, that feels pretty good. 188 00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:20,540 It anticipates your moves and enhances them, 189 00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:21,815 working with your nervous system 190 00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:24,510 to rebalance you, plus infrared telescope, 191 00:10:24,546 --> 00:10:27,079 garrote, and a sleeping gas canister. 192 00:10:27,115 --> 00:10:30,683 This! This is the moment it all turns around. 193 00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:34,320 My inevitable rise to my rightful place 194 00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:36,389 at the top of the... ugh... it... 195 00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:41,826 Oh, yeah, don't hold it like that. 196 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,456 All our intelligence suggests 197 00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:52,684 that Peregrine will strike tonight. 198 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,821 - Cyril? - Thank you, Malory. 199 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,189 Now this guy's silk and stealth on the entrance, 200 00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,224 bullets and balaclavas on the exit. 201 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,827 He will shoot his way out if he has to. 202 00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,195 We have one advantage: 203 00:11:03,297 --> 00:11:05,981 he doesn't know that we know what he looks like. 204 00:11:06,016 --> 00:11:07,883 Whoa. Sploosh, right? 205 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,219 - Oh... - Yeah. We don't do that anymore. 206 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:12,254 You... you don't what, sploosh? 207 00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:14,056 You have to sploosh. 208 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,859 You all sploosh. Everybody splooshes! 209 00:11:16,894 --> 00:11:21,029 - I do not sploosh. - Well, thank you, Detective Dick Droop. 210 00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:24,166 - Anything else you wanna ruin for us? - Oh, a great many things. 211 00:11:24,201 --> 00:11:27,135 This is Agent Bruchstein, Interpol liaison, 212 00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:30,339 - just in from Belgium. - So she's here to wander around 213 00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,174 and screw things up as much as possible. 214 00:11:32,209 --> 00:11:34,176 I supplied you with the photo. 215 00:11:34,211 --> 00:11:37,045 Well, let's just coast on that for the rest of your life. 216 00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,981 Spread out. Eyes open. 217 00:11:39,016 --> 00:11:42,050 - Krieger is on comms. - I thought we just needed audio. 218 00:11:42,086 --> 00:11:43,685 Oh, yeah. 219 00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:47,122 Aww, you didn't bring the fun stuff. 220 00:11:47,157 --> 00:11:51,260 Archer, I need you to stay here, close to the statue. 221 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,028 You'll have the element of surprise. 222 00:11:53,063 --> 00:11:54,296 Shut up. There's Lana. 223 00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:57,466 I suppose you'll tell me he's not usually like that. 224 00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,461 - He's always like that. - That's pretty much him. 225 00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:02,871 Lana. 226 00:12:02,907 --> 00:12:04,406 Hi. I... wow. 227 00:12:04,441 --> 00:12:08,377 Sorry, it's always a shock that you look like that. 228 00:12:08,412 --> 00:12:11,914 Archer, it's, uh... it's good to have you back on mission. 229 00:12:11,949 --> 00:12:14,016 Yes. I mean, no, not yet. 230 00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:16,218 Uh, look, I know you've been ducking me. 231 00:12:16,253 --> 00:12:18,534 So I need to tell you something now before you bail again. 232 00:12:18,558 --> 00:12:20,422 Oh, coming in hot. 233 00:12:20,457 --> 00:12:23,926 Well, whatever this is, it's probably not a good time. 234 00:12:23,961 --> 00:12:25,161 No, no, no, this can't wait. 235 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:28,230 Lana, I lived several lifetimes while I was in that coma, 236 00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:30,866 in a bunch of different genres, I guess. 237 00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,034 Everything was changing. 238 00:12:32,069 --> 00:12:33,469 I couldn't get a handle on who I was 239 00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:37,439 or what it all meant, but the one constant was you. 240 00:12:37,474 --> 00:12:40,509 Needing you is apparently the deepest part of me. 241 00:12:40,544 --> 00:12:44,313 I guess I don't know what I'm proposing, except... 242 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,448 Uh, if you could excuse us, buddy, 243 00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:49,051 I'm in the middle of giving a heartfelt, 244 00:12:49,086 --> 00:12:52,020 - life-changing speech. - To my beautiful wife. 245 00:12:52,056 --> 00:12:54,323 Yes, I get it. 246 00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:57,125 Hello, Sterling. I'm Robert. 247 00:12:57,161 --> 00:12:59,962 Bu... bu wha... bu wha... fa... da... 248 00:12:59,997 --> 00:13:01,563 - Bald! - Yeah, we can talk 249 00:13:01,598 --> 00:13:03,532 more about how and why I'm bald later. 250 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:07,936 I know this is all a shock, but the feelings here are real, 251 00:13:07,972 --> 00:13:09,171 and I honor them. 252 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:12,741 And we understand and love you. 253 00:13:13,077 --> 00:13:16,278 You do not get to love me! That is a hostile act! 254 00:13:16,313 --> 00:13:18,113 What is the how of that? 255 00:13:18,148 --> 00:13:19,508 Though maybe the portentous mumbles 256 00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:21,583 should have tipped me off that something was coming. 257 00:13:21,607 --> 00:13:23,285 Well, that is what portentous means. 258 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,287 So how long into my coma was it 259 00:13:25,322 --> 00:13:27,356 before you bravely pushed aside your grief 260 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:31,159 and married that human catheter ad? 261 00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:33,061 - Eight months. - Eight months? 262 00:13:33,097 --> 00:13:35,464 - When did you meet him? - Um, at your hospital. 263 00:13:35,499 --> 00:13:38,266 He was doing a fundraiser for kids with cancer. 264 00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:40,202 Oldest trick in the book. 265 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,270 - What book? - All the books, Lana! 266 00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:43,586 Okay, one, we weren't together, 267 00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:47,009 and two, there doesn't need to be a two! 268 00:13:47,044 --> 00:13:50,212 This is gonna take time, Archer. 269 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:51,447 Okay? There's a lot you missed. 270 00:13:51,471 --> 00:13:53,248 I'm sorry. I... I get it. 271 00:13:53,283 --> 00:13:55,951 I just... I just need to know one thing. 272 00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:59,154 What does his skin feel like, papery or more mushy? 273 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,841 Is it scaly like a sleestak? 274 00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:09,364 Wuite a crowd here. 275 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,299 Yeah, they really packed them in, 276 00:14:11,335 --> 00:14:13,135 like protein shakes in a fridge. 277 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:14,570 - What was that? - I was agreeing. 278 00:14:14,571 --> 00:14:16,451 You know, if you have something to say, just... 279 00:14:16,475 --> 00:14:19,308 - You're a fridge hog! - See, doesn't that feel better 280 00:14:19,309 --> 00:14:21,843 - than being passive-aggressive? - I... I guess. 281 00:14:21,879 --> 00:14:24,880 - I... - Extremely passive-aggressive. 282 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:31,119 - So what do you think? - It kind of looks like that thing 283 00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:32,675 where you've been away for a long time, 284 00:14:32,699 --> 00:14:34,489 and when you come back, no one really cares, 285 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,092 and people have moved on, and you're all alone, 286 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,027 and nobody understands you. 287 00:14:40,264 --> 00:14:42,230 Or maybe it's just a lady with big cans. 288 00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:45,367 Oh, I don't know. Her cans aren't that big. 289 00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:46,568 And now this. 290 00:14:46,603 --> 00:14:48,537 You know, Sterling, I think it's important 291 00:14:48,572 --> 00:14:52,307 to look at these cans in context of their era. 292 00:14:52,342 --> 00:14:55,210 So what are you, some crazy rich millionaire? 293 00:14:55,245 --> 00:14:59,081 Millionaire? Oh, god, no, no, no, no. 294 00:14:59,116 --> 00:15:00,549 I hit billionaire at 25. 295 00:15:00,584 --> 00:15:03,185 This is actually my wing of the museum, 296 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:07,423 - but that's not what this is about. - I find that hard to believe. 297 00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:09,357 I know you don't want to hear this right now, 298 00:15:09,393 --> 00:15:13,228 but the fact that you think me and Lana are impossible 299 00:15:13,263 --> 00:15:16,364 is what makes you and Lana impossible. 300 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,468 - Wow. - Yeah, hits pretty hard. 301 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:23,338 No, I... I've just never met a bald fortune cookie before. 302 00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:28,009 - Okay, I'll give you some time. - Who's bald! 303 00:15:28,045 --> 00:15:29,045 Whoa, oh. 304 00:15:29,046 --> 00:15:31,179 Krieger, what's going on with the tactil-cane? 305 00:15:31,215 --> 00:15:33,316 Jesus, your brain waves are all over the place. 306 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,516 - Is there a problem? - Yes. 307 00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:37,419 I was just condescended to by an elderly geek, 308 00:15:37,454 --> 00:15:41,123 and Lana was apparently using my coma bed as a singles bar. 309 00:15:41,158 --> 00:15:43,038 Well, technically, it was the hallway 310 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:44,226 just outside your coma bed. 311 00:15:44,261 --> 00:15:46,535 - How is that better? - It's ten feet more respectful? 312 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,771 Uh, new, better Cheryl here. 313 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:50,332 Look, can we all just admit that seeing someone in a coma 314 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,464 - is intensely erotic? - No. 315 00:15:53,587 --> 00:15:56,505 Man, it was so easy to remember the good stuff 316 00:15:56,540 --> 00:16:01,143 when he didn't interrupt it with his mouth and his face 317 00:16:01,178 --> 00:16:02,444 and his general being. 318 00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:05,780 Oh, well, I'm sorry for practicing a little self-care. 319 00:16:05,816 --> 00:16:09,385 Like the time I caught you practicing self-care in your office. 320 00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:11,920 You know I wage a constant battle against my impulses. 321 00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:14,256 Well, thank you, Onan the Barbarian. 322 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:15,423 Yeah, you got bible burned. 323 00:16:15,459 --> 00:16:17,425 What in god's name is going on? 324 00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:19,728 I see sloppy positioning, uncovered zones, 325 00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:22,731 and that dress isn't doing your hips any favors, Lana. 326 00:16:22,766 --> 00:16:25,400 Well, at least my hips didn't produce a human disruption 327 00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:26,515 on the scale of an ice age. 328 00:16:26,537 --> 00:16:28,303 Whoa, wait a second. 329 00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:31,239 I've had my shakes in the fridge for months. 330 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:32,555 Why did you suddenly get annoyed? 331 00:16:32,579 --> 00:16:35,477 Dukes! Archer just made some little comment about it. 332 00:16:35,512 --> 00:16:38,346 It's like he doesn't even have to try to cause problems. 333 00:16:38,382 --> 00:16:40,348 Look, we had a great team dynamic going 334 00:16:40,384 --> 00:16:41,416 before he came back. 335 00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:43,817 So let's just roll it back to coma-o'clock 336 00:16:43,818 --> 00:16:46,188 - and... oh, my god. - Wait. 337 00:16:46,223 --> 00:16:49,324 Was everyone really happier without me? 338 00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:50,599 - No. - Is anybody really happy? 339 00:16:50,623 --> 00:16:53,395 No, it's not that we were happier without you. 340 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,297 It's just that we became happier 341 00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:58,366 when you weren't arou... Oh, crap. That's the same thing. 342 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,408 I would like four of your most 343 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,410 stupidly expensive whiskeys. 344 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:10,413 Sorry, sir, one drink per patron, 345 00:17:10,414 --> 00:17:11,654 and we only have beer and wine. 346 00:17:11,678 --> 00:17:13,548 Beer and wine? What am I, 12? 347 00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:15,584 I'll deal with you when you become more sensible. 348 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:18,286 - That'll be never, pal. - Next. 349 00:17:19,656 --> 00:17:22,390 Oh, Woodhouse, what happened to us? 350 00:17:22,426 --> 00:17:25,327 Oh, shit. You're talking to rocks now? 351 00:17:25,362 --> 00:17:27,442 No, no, silly. Just... 352 00:17:27,477 --> 00:17:29,130 I was just looking for a real drink. 353 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,400 You shining liquor angel. 354 00:17:33,537 --> 00:17:36,338 See? Told you we'd catch up later. 355 00:17:36,373 --> 00:17:38,440 I missed the shit out of you. 356 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,308 Yeah, well, that makes exactly one of you. 357 00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:43,712 - What is with everybody? - It's been three years, numb nuts. 358 00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:46,448 We've had a whole thing going without you. 359 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,517 Can't you just make an effort to fit yourself in? 360 00:17:49,553 --> 00:17:51,419 Boom, phrasing, 361 00:17:51,455 --> 00:17:53,455 which we probably don't even say anymore. 362 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,423 Look, I... I'll try and fit in, 363 00:17:55,459 --> 00:17:57,492 but what's with Lana and Methuselah? 364 00:17:57,527 --> 00:17:58,807 I've never seen her happier, 365 00:17:58,829 --> 00:18:02,464 and honestly, you two have a lot in common. 366 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,499 - How do you figure? - Well, now you both have 367 00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:07,335 a lifelong relationship with a "Kane." 368 00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:08,603 - Ah-cha-cha! - Oh, right. 369 00:18:08,639 --> 00:18:10,605 Lana Ka... yeah. Okay, that's pretty solid. 370 00:18:10,641 --> 00:18:13,875 Well, look who stopped being such a bitch. 371 00:18:18,448 --> 00:18:19,547 All right, everyone. 372 00:18:19,583 --> 00:18:21,650 I'm sorry I've been a distraction, 373 00:18:21,685 --> 00:18:23,752 and while it pains me to say it, 374 00:18:23,787 --> 00:18:27,289 I will cede ground to you guys... for now... 375 00:18:27,324 --> 00:18:30,458 and I will accept a... 376 00:18:30,494 --> 00:18:33,495 I will accept a... 377 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:37,432 - support role. - You know, Archer, like Orpheus, 378 00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,801 you too have visited the land of the dead. 379 00:18:39,836 --> 00:18:42,671 Jesus, Cyril, if I needed someone to murder subtext, 380 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:45,507 I'd dig up Ayn Rand and stick a pen in her hand. 381 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,343 Well, this is all quite inspiring, 382 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,445 but it might have been more useful 383 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:54,916 if the statue weren't already gone! 384 00:19:02,852 --> 00:19:05,486 Yes, keep staring. It might reappear. 385 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,621 Seal off the exits! Find him! 386 00:19:07,723 --> 00:19:11,981 And, uh, I support you enthusiastically, for... 387 00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:14,595 - for that is who I am. - Ugh, the incompetence! 388 00:19:14,697 --> 00:19:16,630 I can assure you, Agent Bruchstein, 389 00:19:16,732 --> 00:19:19,466 nothing like this has ever happened before. 390 00:19:19,569 --> 00:19:22,428 Or will again. Interpol had its doubts, 391 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,954 and I spoke up for you! 392 00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:26,824 Well, if you can get fired over this, 393 00:19:26,859 --> 00:19:28,526 I'm sure we can... 394 00:19:28,561 --> 00:19:29,994 Fired? Oh, no, no, no. 395 00:19:30,029 --> 00:19:33,764 Europe's labor laws are much too strong for that. 396 00:19:33,799 --> 00:19:36,600 - Reprimanded? - Not with my union. 397 00:19:36,636 --> 00:19:39,136 I have to check in with headquarters. 398 00:19:39,705 --> 00:19:43,407 Huh. And I thought we beat the Communists. 399 00:19:43,442 --> 00:19:45,342 I need a drink. 400 00:19:46,879 --> 00:19:48,979 Krieger, you've been monitoring my brain waves 401 00:19:49,015 --> 00:19:50,915 and location through the tactil-cane, right? 402 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:52,283 Yes, but not in a creepy way. 403 00:19:52,318 --> 00:19:55,619 Everything you do is by definition in a creepy way. 404 00:19:55,655 --> 00:19:57,721 Hey, uncalled for! Also fair. 405 00:19:57,757 --> 00:19:59,657 If I look at that photo now, can you check 406 00:19:59,692 --> 00:20:01,659 if there were any places I saw Peregrine, 407 00:20:01,694 --> 00:20:03,794 even if I didn't consciously register it? 408 00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,563 Scanning for similar optic patterns. 409 00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:07,765 you saw him 16 times. 410 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,066 - God damn it. - Huh. 411 00:20:09,101 --> 00:20:11,602 You never actually saw him anywhere near the statue. 412 00:20:11,637 --> 00:20:12,903 So that would only make sense 413 00:20:12,939 --> 00:20:15,472 if that's not the right photo. 414 00:20:16,542 --> 00:20:18,742 And after a double knee replacement, 415 00:20:18,778 --> 00:20:20,578 I finally got back to the squash cour... 416 00:20:21,781 --> 00:20:22,980 We got him! 417 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:25,816 Uh, honey, bit of bad news here. 418 00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:28,752 That's actually the museum director. 419 00:20:28,788 --> 00:20:31,255 I'm quite well-known. 420 00:20:33,092 --> 00:20:34,925 Nighty-night, Peregrine. 421 00:20:34,961 --> 00:20:36,201 No, stop it! 422 00:20:36,225 --> 00:20:37,995 Huh, really wish I hadn't wasted 423 00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,797 that sleeping gas on myself now. 424 00:20:39,832 --> 00:20:40,832 Ow! 425 00:20:44,704 --> 00:20:46,136 Krieger, Bruchstein is Peregrine, 426 00:20:46,172 --> 00:20:48,038 in pursuit down the south corridor. 427 00:20:48,074 --> 00:20:50,941 And great thinking putting only one gas charge 428 00:20:50,977 --> 00:20:52,076 in the tactil-cane. 429 00:20:52,111 --> 00:20:53,744 Well, I didn't know you were gonna 430 00:20:53,779 --> 00:20:56,647 - shoot yourself in the face with it. - Always assume that! 431 00:20:58,751 --> 00:21:00,851 Ah, crap, evil bartender. 432 00:21:00,886 --> 00:21:02,586 No wonder he sucked. 433 00:21:03,823 --> 00:21:05,055 Give it up, Peregrine. 434 00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:07,024 You were supposed to find the decoy earlier 435 00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:09,960 to create the diversion, but you were too incompetent 436 00:21:09,996 --> 00:21:11,996 to do even that, amateurs! 437 00:21:12,031 --> 00:21:15,933 And that is our strength, you waffle-faced... 438 00:21:15,968 --> 00:21:18,002 wait, you're still actually Belgian, right? 439 00:21:18,037 --> 00:21:20,938 Yes! But I was raised in the States. 440 00:21:20,973 --> 00:21:23,907 You lambic-gargling limburger dick cheese. 441 00:21:23,943 --> 00:21:25,876 Those are silly stereotypes. 442 00:21:25,911 --> 00:21:28,012 So are you guys flemish or walloon? 443 00:21:28,047 --> 00:21:30,080 That would help my specificity. 444 00:21:30,116 --> 00:21:32,236 - We gotta get closer. - All right, here's what we do. 445 00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:34,084 Archer, Cyril is tactical lead. 446 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,987 I concede that a plan that comes out of your mouth 447 00:21:37,023 --> 00:21:40,190 has at least a theoretical possibility of not getting us killed. 448 00:21:40,226 --> 00:21:41,925 Thanks, Archer. I'm sure it took a lot 449 00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:44,294 - to almost not insult me. - I know. 450 00:21:44,330 --> 00:21:45,996 - I mean, look at you. - Great. 451 00:21:46,032 --> 00:21:48,766 Now, Ray and I will flank, set up an enfilade. 452 00:21:48,801 --> 00:21:51,035 Lana and Pam on a delayed spearpoint. 453 00:21:51,070 --> 00:21:52,703 - Archer, you... - Don't say it. 454 00:21:52,738 --> 00:21:55,773 - Provide suppressing fire. - And there it is. 455 00:21:55,808 --> 00:22:00,944 - In three, two, one. - Suppressing fire! 456 00:22:00,980 --> 00:22:02,146 Wait, wait, wait. 457 00:22:02,181 --> 00:22:03,914 Why do they have gas masks? 458 00:22:16,896 --> 00:22:19,463 Go get 'em, Woodhouse. 459 00:22:26,739 --> 00:22:29,940 God, that smells worse than the break room salmon! 460 00:22:32,845 --> 00:22:34,896 Cyril, grab them. Or are you screwing 461 00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:37,448 with office fridge space for nothing? 462 00:22:40,753 --> 00:22:44,088 Jeezy petes! 463 00:22:44,123 --> 00:22:48,826 - Gravel got him. - Archer! 464 00:22:52,765 --> 00:22:54,231 I wanted whiskey. 465 00:22:54,266 --> 00:22:57,101 I literally did not have any, you asshole! 466 00:22:57,136 --> 00:22:59,169 Then why am I still angry? 467 00:23:01,807 --> 00:23:04,875 God damn it. 468 00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:10,647 No! 469 00:23:12,985 --> 00:23:14,985 And they say art is use... wah! 470 00:23:15,020 --> 00:23:19,857 - You did good, kid. Lana? - Wait. 471 00:23:19,892 --> 00:23:21,825 - Go to her. - Uh-huh, I was. 472 00:23:21,861 --> 00:23:25,596 No, go to her because of my nobility. 473 00:23:26,766 --> 00:23:30,768 Ugh. Gravity, you utter bitch. 474 00:23:30,803 --> 00:23:33,479 Welcome back. 475 00:23:33,939 --> 00:23:35,539 Took you long enough. 476 00:23:36,731 --> 00:23:40,894 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~