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Welcome to L'Orange.
I'll be your server, Kyle.
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- Our specials tonight...
- Damn it, Kyle, are you blind?
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We're in the middle
of a conversation.
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I'm so sorry.
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I'll come back.
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Actually, I kinda wish we'd
heard the specials now.
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This is fun.
So fun, right?
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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This was a doozy
of an idea, Archer.
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I just love double dates.
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You're at a restaurant, Robert.
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We can trade money
for food here.
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Sorry about that, Gabrielle.
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At his age,
Robert gets confused easily.
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If it's not painfully obvious yet,
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Archer is incredibly jealous
of my husband.
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Oh, yeah,
I-I desperately wish
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I had liver spots
and eyebrows like haystacks.
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- You know what?
- Look, why don't we just
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acknowledge the elephant
in the room?
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That you have borderline
personality disorder
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- and desperately need help?
- I was talking, Lana,
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about how incredibly gorgeous
Gabrielle looks tonight.
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It's like somebody stuffed
103 pounds of "ka-kow"
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- into a red golf sock.
- I couldn't agree more.
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- You look gorgeous, Gabrielle.
- Uh, honey, shut up.
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So how did you two meet?
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We met in a study
my university is conducting
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for individuals
who have been in a coma.
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- Catch that, Lana?
- That you have brain damage?
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No, I mean the part
where Gabrielle is a scientist?
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- Oh, are you in science as well?
- That's funny.
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You see, Lana's parents
desperately wanted her
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to be a scientist,
but she hated them.
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- And now they're dead.
- They're not dead.
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How would you know?
You're not a scientist.
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You know, one of my foundations
is involved in neuroscience,
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and we just did a study
on memory-mapping neurons.
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Oh, I just read about that!
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Let me ask you, did you agree
with their findings
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- on spatially tuned memory trace cells?
- Slow down.
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Who am I,
Andrew Fielding Huxley?
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Gosh, oh, that's good.
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So have we decided on a first course?
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I actually need a little more time.
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But, Lana, you're probably fine
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with the first thing you see, right?
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I'm just...
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going to go to the ladies' room.
Excuse me.
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- Oh, I'll join you.
- Great.
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Don't take too long, or I
might fall in love with Robert.
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You know how fast it can happen!
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Ha, I was joking,
obviously, Robert.
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The eyebrows are a deal breaker.
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- Oh, this is a beautiful restaurant.
- Mm-hmm.
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Robert's great.
You're so lucky.
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- Uh-huh.
- So...
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- you know Archer from work?
- What?
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Wait a minute.
You're joking, right?
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Archer didn't tell you
anything about us?
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Oh, just that you work together,
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that you're married to Robert,
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that your jaw makes
this clicking sound
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- when you chew like...
- Mm.
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He didn't mention that we,
uh, I don't know,
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- have a child together?
- Get out of town!
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You're AJ's mom?
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So how's work, Archer?
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Hey, Robert,
don't take this personally,
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but there's no way
I'm making small talk with you.
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Just quietly stare
at a candle or something.
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Hey... that Gabrielle.
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We sure got a type.
Rawr!
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Seeing them walk off together
now, I was just like,
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"I wouldn't mind being the
cream in that double espresso!"
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Hmm.
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I've dabbled quite a bit in
the exotic arts, as they say.
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Oh, God, please, no.
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So you're telling me
you're not upset
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that Archer didn't mention
that your first date
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was going to include
the mother of his child?
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After all he's been through,
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- I'm sure it just slipped his mind.
- Or he's a lunatic.
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I mean, clearly he asked
you out because...
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- Well...
- Well, what?
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Oh, come on,
he's trying to send a message
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that he found a stand-in,
you know, for, uh... for this.
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A stand-in?
Oh, did you go to Yale too?
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No. I mean,
I'm sure I could have.
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- But you have two PhDs, I bet.
- Well, no, not two.
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No, I have... I have...
I have just the one.
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Oh, I see, so you
don't mean "stand-in"
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as much as you mean "upgrade."
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Excuse me.
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- There! There you go!
- What are you doing?
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00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:11,999
- Now you're all wet.
- Ugh!
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Isn't that what you wanted?
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And sure enough, we made love
right there in the jazz club.
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And to this day,
I can't even hear
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00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,670
a muted trumpet
without getting erect!
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What a great story, Robert.
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I just wish it could've been
louder and grosser.
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Kyle! Do us a favor and put
our food in, would ya?
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- Absolutely. What would you like?
- You order for us, Kyle.
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I'm talkin' apps, entrées...
the whole nine yards.
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You're trusting Kyle to pick our food?
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The entirety
of his life's decisions
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have led him to this job and
that haircut. No offense, Kyle.
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Hey, there they are, the two
prettiest ladies in the joint.
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Or more specifically,
a clear number one
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and a not-as-well-read,
big-boned runner-up.
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You know what?
Let me ask you a question.
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What the hell are you doing?
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You're supposed to be
staking out Victor Cherenenko.
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Will you two be joining the table?
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- No, definitely not.
- We were just leaving.
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- Sure.
- Gabrielle, you could scooch in next to me.
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- Ooh, who's Victor Cherenenko?
- Oh, Russian hacker,
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one of Interpol's most wanted,
Gabrielle.
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Huge reward out for him.
And I am the one responsible...
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Actually,
I'm in charge of the mission.
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- How are you? Cyril Figgis.
- Calm down, Cyril.
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You're getting desperation
all over my hot scientist.
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I probably shouldn't be showing you this.
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You look like someone
who can be trusted.
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See, for years, no one has
been able to find this guy,
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but recently he's been
popping his head up in public.
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So as team leader,
I took it upon myself
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to synthesize data from his
financial records, and ta-da.
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You were able to produce that
wet diaper of a worthless dossier.
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The thing says Cherenenko
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- is a regular at this place, and yet...
- Hey, isn't that him? Cherenenko?
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You see that, Archer?
I was right.
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- He's here after all.
- I mean, it doesn't take that much
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to look at a credit card statement
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and see that guy comes
to a restaurant a lot
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- and that...
- God damn it, Archer!
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Wow, this is so exciting!
So what do we do now?
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- Like, go detain him?
- Oh, man.
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Guess they don't
teach you everything
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- in neurobiology school.
- Well, no, obviously not.
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As much as I love
taking advice on spycraft
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from civilians,
you can't just go up and detain
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a guy with an armed
bodyguard protecting him.
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Lana's right.
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Even if we took
the bodyguard out,
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we'd have 50 Russian goons
on our doorstep
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looking for blood in the morning.
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Uh, yeah,
that's what I'm saying.
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So the plan is, we go over...
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Excuse me,
I'm in charge, and as such,
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I have constructed
our apprehension strategy.
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Okay, we wait for him to leave,
and we tail him.
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Then we find an opportunity
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to separate him
from his bodyguard,
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lure him somewhere quiet,
and bring him down.
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Voilá . A classic Figgis.
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I thought a classic Figgis
was when you get
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your genitals caught in
the zipper of a sleeping bag.
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You know very well
that wasn't user error.
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There was a factory recall!
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I'm going to the men's room
real quick.
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Don't do anything without me.
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So, Gabrielle,
how do you feel about jazz?
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- And how are you this evening, sir?
- Very well, thank you.
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I actually just had a, uh,
pretty big professional victory.
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That is wonderful, sir.
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Thanks. You know that feeling
when you take
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a big step forward at work
and people notice?
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Yes, sir.
Very magical, sir.
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Oh, uh, I left my wallet in
my jacket, and I'll just...
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Good call. I'm on a diet.
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May I offer you a towel?
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Hey, excuse me, sir...
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Ooh, he's really giving it to her.
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They're leaving.
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Perfect, when they get
outside, we follow them.
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Gabrielle, I'm sorry to tell you,
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00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,490
but you're about to dive headfirst
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into a high-speed chase,
so buckle up.
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00:09:00,450 --> 00:09:01,850
Shouldn't we just
leave her here?
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00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,850
No, Lana,
I'm sorry you're threatened
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00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:06,720
because Gabrielle is so smart
and accomplished and...
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00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:09,590
- Hot.
- Thank you, horny new guy.
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00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:10,735
We are not ditching her.
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00:09:10,736 --> 00:09:13,690
Here, put this on, Gabrielle.
I wouldn't want you to catch cold.
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00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,950
You should, uh,
put this on to, um,
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00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:20,720
cover up your hideous...
elbows.
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00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,590
Ya had trouble finding
something, didn't ya?
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Shut up, Lana!
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Hold on.
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00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:34,290
All right, go!
Everybody into my car.
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00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,320
Good news.
The bodyguard is now locked
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00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:39,720
in a bathroom supply... closet.
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00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,990
It's my mission.
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00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:45,450
Okay, so here we have
the first courses,
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00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:48,890
fried lobster in puff pastry
over four-cheese grits.
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00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,280
All right, Gabrielle,
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00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:55,850
get ready for the ride of your...
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00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:02,620
- Life.
- Uh, what did he just say?
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00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:04,290
Life, Robert! He said life!
202
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,840
He was finishing a thought
from before!
203
00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:07,950
Archer!
204
00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:10,990
I'm sorry.
He did a "what did he just say?"
205
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:15,528
He's doing all the top ten
old-guy hits, coast-to-coast!
206
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,320
This is what happens
207
00:10:22,350 --> 00:10:24,850
when you give bicyclists
their own lane.
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00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:28,689
- What's next, a lane for vegetarians?
- Sorry, Gabrielle.
209
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:31,790
- It's usually a little chasier than this.
- Oh, no, don't apologize.
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00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:33,740
This is a great opportunity
for me to get to know
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00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,420
your friends just a little bit better.
212
00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,720
All right, I'll start.
Uh, this one's for anybody.
213
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:40,450
Who's ever met
a potential love interest
214
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:44,320
over the unconscious body
of their child's father?
215
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,920
- Oh, my God. This again?
- This again, what?
216
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,920
Well, you got shot
by a murder suspect
217
00:10:48,950 --> 00:10:50,450
you were supposed
to be investigating
218
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:53,450
but instead were having
sex with who, by the way,
219
00:10:53,490 --> 00:10:56,344
after shooting you, got away!
220
00:10:57,350 --> 00:11:00,520
Hey, look what we got
going on back here.
221
00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:05,850
- I feel like the cream inside of an Ore...
- Do not finish that sentence!
222
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,420
Hey, Kyle.
223
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:11,650
Would you mind parking
the dessert cart over here?
224
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:13,690
And you might want to throw
the emergency brake on,
225
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,650
because I have a feeling things
could go sideways pretty fast.
226
00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:19,520
Actually, sir, some diners
have been complaining
227
00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:21,720
that your constant crying and chewing
228
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:23,250
is bumming them out.
229
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:24,690
If you wouldn't mind...
230
00:11:24,714 --> 00:11:27,450
Oh, they didn't leave a credit card?
231
00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:30,720
Jeezy Petes!
I had a serving of bone marrow,
232
00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:32,450
not a goddamn transplant.
233
00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:36,450
All right, I...
Hey! My jacket's gone!
234
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:38,990
Listen, Kyle,
my wallet was in my jacket,
235
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,990
and it appears my friends
must've grabbed it.
236
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:42,860
So I'm gonna have to...
237
00:11:42,884 --> 00:11:44,320
To have someone come down
238
00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:47,550
- and meet me here with a credit card.
- There you go.
239
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,760
Don't spray that urine
on my son's window.
240
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:58,760
If you want a dollar for doing
nothing, walk to Canada.
241
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:01,120
What are you even doing
on this mission to begin with?
242
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,760
Cyril needed me.
243
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,620
It would've looked weird
for him to be sitting
244
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,460
at that restaurant all alone.
245
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:09,490
- Who were you supposed to be?
- His date, obviously.
246
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,760
Excuse me,
it's not that crazy at all
247
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,190
that these two would be together.
248
00:12:15,225 --> 00:12:18,090
Not much further apart in age
than Lana and I are.
249
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,590
- Self-burn.
- Plus, she's beautiful and successful.
250
00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:23,490
You know who you
remind me of, Malory?
251
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,920
My ex-wife.
252
00:12:24,955 --> 00:12:27,560
Malory reminds you of Linda?
The supermodel?
253
00:12:27,590 --> 00:12:29,020
No!
No, no, no, no, no.
254
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:31,620
I'm talking about Zelda,
my first ex-wife.
255
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:34,160
- Linda was my third ex-wife.
- Your what?
256
00:12:34,190 --> 00:12:36,020
Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
257
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:38,890
I think the phrase you're
looking for is "gulp."
258
00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:45,490
What's wrong
with your face, Krieger?
259
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,460
Yeah. Did you rack your nuts
on your proton pack?
260
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,490
Oh, Mitsuko and I
got into an argument.
261
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,990
She said she thinks maybe her
feelings are changing about us.
262
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,660
Let me tell you
something everyone hears
263
00:12:57,684 --> 00:12:59,059
at some point in their lives:
264
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:01,160
that anime hologram's
just not that into you.
265
00:13:01,190 --> 00:13:03,490
No! It's probably
just a phase, right?
266
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,690
Yello?
267
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,990
Pam! Listen!
268
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,760
I need you to come to L'Orange.
269
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,760
Archer stuck me with a huge tab,
270
00:13:11,790 --> 00:13:14,420
then left with my coat
which had my wallet in it,
271
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,780
and there's a menacing busboy
who won't stop staring at me.
272
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,860
And you want me
to come over there
273
00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:21,460
and blow a busboy so he'll
forget about your dinner tab.
274
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:24,090
What? No, come with
money to pay the tab.
275
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,890
- Oh. Lame.
- Okay, let me get this straight.
276
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,020
You've been married four times
and it never occurred to you
277
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:35,090
- to share that information with your wife?!
- It's personal, dear.
278
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,620
I didn't ask you how many times
you'd been married.
279
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,960
Zero!
I'd been married zero times!
280
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:43,890
Well, now I see why.
281
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,760
- Who were they?
- Linda, of course.
282
00:13:46,790 --> 00:13:49,490
Then Hafsa, she was a gift
from the Saudi crown.
283
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,160
Would've been rude to say no.
And then Zelda.
284
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,960
We didn't technically divorce.
I lost her on safari.
285
00:13:55,990 --> 00:13:58,160
Oh, my God, this guy's on fire.
286
00:13:58,190 --> 00:14:00,890
I'm not sure if it's
a big deal, but...
287
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,080
that guy you're following,
he just got out of that cab.
288
00:14:03,104 --> 00:14:04,890
Damn it, he's getting away!
Follow him!
289
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,490
I can't, Mother!
What do you want me to do,
290
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,960
just leave the car here
in the middle of 5th Ave?
291
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,160
Oh, yes, big smiles.
292
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,990
I, too, would be excited
if I were about to overdose
293
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,760
somewhere in a hollowed-out
box spring.
294
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,140
You know, I've always
thought that busboys
295
00:14:20,141 --> 00:14:22,490
were the backbone of
the restaurant industry.
296
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:27,590
- I'm a woman.
- And a beautiful one at that.
297
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,720
- There you are!
- Oh, you look like shit, dude.
298
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,588
- Have you been crying?
- Crying?
299
00:14:33,694 --> 00:14:35,558
- No.
- Yes!
300
00:14:35,593 --> 00:14:37,820
Okay, oh, Cyril.
301
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:39,690
Come on, let's get out of here.
302
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,189
Oh, uh, right, the tab, uh...
303
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:45,760
Cyril, don't worry about the tab.
I got this.
304
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:48,590
This waiter
just touched my breasts!
305
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:51,590
What?
306
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,519
Again, I just can't put into
words how mortified I am.
307
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,859
Well, you should be mortified.
308
00:14:55,860 --> 00:14:58,919
I know my breasts certainly are.
Right, ladies?
309
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,120
Hey, hot shot,
call me if you ever want
310
00:15:02,121 --> 00:15:03,720
to have your world rocked.
311
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,960
- You voted libertarian?
- Sure, twice.
312
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,760
Hey, I know seat belts save lives,
313
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:12,820
but who is the government
to require me to wear one?
314
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,620
Is there anything else
you haven't told me?
315
00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:15,759
- No.
- In my experience,
316
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,560
you have to ask
exploratory questions, like...
317
00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:20,490
Robert, have you
ever done anything
318
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,590
that you're deeply sad about?
319
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:26,690
I mean... I guess if I had
to pick one thing...
320
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,189
- oh, gosh, it'd be the dogs.
- The dogs?
321
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:33,560
I've had 11 dogs die on me.
322
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:35,990
11?!
How is that possible?
323
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:39,620
Well, you know, there's just
a huge language barrier.
324
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:42,160
Oh, my God, what
the hell is wrong with you?!
325
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,030
What beautiful architecture
326
00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:46,590
they have here
in New York City, New York,
327
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:50,099
where we are visiting as tourists.
328
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,490
Jesus Christ,
Lana, will you quit fighting
329
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,120
with your husband
before you give us away?
330
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,890
We wouldn't
be in a fight if you hadn't
331
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,880
set up this stupid double date
in the first place.
332
00:15:59,904 --> 00:16:00,919
Boy howdy.
333
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,460
I sure hope someday
we get these kind
334
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:05,690
of tall buildings back
at home in... Arizona.
335
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,620
Shit, he's heading to the park.
336
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,920
Follow that horse!
And step on it!
337
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,890
You there, follow that cab!
338
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,990
- On a break.
- Let me try.
339
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:25,760
Well, I can see why they
call it a hansom cab.
340
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:28,020
You sure are
the best-looking son of a gun
341
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:31,420
- I've seen all night.
- Oh, is that a fact?
342
00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:33,760
Oh, I was talking to the horse.
343
00:16:33,790 --> 00:16:37,690
I figured he ran the business.
344
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,115
Gosh, oh, that's good.
345
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,150
Hmm, they seem to be in love.
346
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:50,320
Wonder whose still-breathing
body they met over.
347
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,750
Oh, my God, you are
absolutely cracked in the head.
348
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:55,280
We weren't even together when
you went into a coma, okay?
349
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,320
You were banging
some old broad who then,
350
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,720
God bless her soul, shot you.
351
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,180
Better to be shot
than stabbed in the back, Lana.
352
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,620
I'm surprised this isn't
something you've mentioned
353
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:05,965
about your time in a coma
354
00:17:05,966 --> 00:17:08,850
- if it bothers you so much.
- Oh, it doesn't.
355
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,650
Why do you even care
that I'm with Robert?
356
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,080
- I don't!
- It was clear that you
357
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,379
- were never going to commit to me.
- You don't know that!
358
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:17,070
So if Lana hadn't met Robert...
359
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:19,030
Over my still
very much alive body
360
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,399
with a functioning sex organ,
361
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,370
as I imagine was included
in my records.
362
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,370
Then you would've wanted
to be together?
363
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,899
Excuse me!
Whose ass do I have to kiss
364
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:29,163
to get more hot cocoa
back here?
365
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,070
Coney Island?
366
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,170
Look, I appreciate you guys
bringing me here
367
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,170
to cheer me up,
but I'm a grown man.
368
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,930
Oh, cheer you up?
369
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:40,370
A waiter just touched
my breasts, asshole.
370
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,000
If you're in need
of some cheering up,
371
00:17:42,030 --> 00:17:44,370
this is the place. Come on.
372
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,370
Whoa, look! Wacky mirrors!
373
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,970
Driver!
Now we're going too fast!
374
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,030
We're trying to follow
that horse in front of us,
375
00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:59,652
- not inseminate it.
- I remember when the park
376
00:17:59,653 --> 00:18:02,970
was a place you'd come to get
away from the hustle and bustle.
377
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,030
Me too. I had an aunt
who'd take me here.
378
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,000
We'd sit on a park bench
for hours,
379
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:11,200
just chatting and throwing
lit matches at the pigeons.
380
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,390
My friends and I would feed
the pigeons Alka-Seltzer,
381
00:18:13,414 --> 00:18:14,930
watch them explode!
382
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,200
- Yeah!
- Slow the hell down!
383
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:22,970
Come on, buddy,
what's got you so down?
384
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,200
- You can talk to ol' Pam.
- It's... Archer.
385
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,870
- And what about him?
- I hate him!
386
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,200
I hate his stupid face!
387
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:34,070
And his stupid car!
388
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,830
And his stupid coma cane!
389
00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:37,253
And his stupid...
390
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,500
Doesn't give me
the respect I deserve!
391
00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:41,800
How hard is it
for you to acknowledge
392
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,770
the good shape I've gotten
in? Ah!
393
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,870
How much I've improved
as a field agent? Ah!
394
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:51,000
I learned Mandarin,
for Christ's sake!
395
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,330
I hate you, Sterling Archer!
396
00:18:53,370 --> 00:18:55,130
I hate you
and everything you've done
397
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:58,056
to make me feel this... agh!
398
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,730
Cyril, I see the job you're doing.
399
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,200
You've been knocking it out
of the park as a field agent.
400
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,970
- Really?
- Really. When I thought Archer was dead,
401
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,200
I literally said, "Well,
at least we still got Cyril."
402
00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:15,030
- You did?
- Sure. I need the agency to stay afloat.
403
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,470
I can't get another job.
404
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,430
I have, like,
a shit-ton of felonies.
405
00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:21,398
Thanks, Pam.
406
00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:27,930
Then why did you set
this double date up, Archer?
407
00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:30,529
Seriously, out of all the women
you could've asked out...
408
00:19:30,530 --> 00:19:32,330
Of which there are
literally billions.
409
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:34,370
- Proving her point.
- Damn it.
410
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,870
You chose one that kinda,
well, is my doppelganger?
411
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:40,600
- Yeah, why is that, Archer?
- Um, if you two
412
00:19:40,601 --> 00:19:43,330
are through playing
amateur neuropsychobiologist,
413
00:19:43,370 --> 00:19:45,970
our Russian is headed
for the subway.
414
00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:51,850
Archer, I'll come at them
from around the back.
415
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,360
You approach them
from the left flank.
416
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:54,539
I almost hate to do it.
417
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,900
Those two look
really happy together.
418
00:19:56,930 --> 00:19:59,230
Yeah. It's nice to be
in love with someone.
419
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:03,300
- You should try it.
- Well, if it means being as happy
420
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:06,800
as that Russian hacker and his
girlfriend, I actually...
421
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,091
Oh!
422
00:20:08,149 --> 00:20:10,270
- God damn it.
- Oh-ho-ho! No!
423
00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:15,170
Ew. Should we call the police?
424
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,207
Meh.
425
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:22,510
So, Gabrielle, this is
usually the part of the date
426
00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,870
when we head back
to my place for great sex.
427
00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:28,440
Archer, look, you seem
like a really nice guy...
428
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:30,010
- Ha!
- Shut up, Lana.
429
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,440
You were saying?
Nice guy.
430
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:33,910
Fully functioning sex organ.
Go on.
431
00:20:33,940 --> 00:20:36,240
But it's clear you still
have feelings for Lana.
432
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,910
Wait, me? For her?
433
00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:42,010
Wh-why would I want Lana
when I could have you?
434
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,586
A totally different
noncomparable unique person who...
435
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,610
shouldn't be exploited
for personal vendettas, sorry.
436
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,940
Yeah, that part.
It was nice to meet ya, Lana.
437
00:20:52,970 --> 00:20:55,210
Uh, maybe we could
get together sometime.
438
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,940
You know what?
I actually would not mind
439
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:59,493
- hanging out with you again.
- Hey, wait, Gabrielle.
440
00:20:59,494 --> 00:21:02,640
But... sex time.
Gabrielle!
441
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,439
- Aw, you liked her, didn't you?
- I don't know.
442
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,669
But you didn't realize it
till just now, huh?
443
00:21:09,670 --> 00:21:11,009
Maybe.
444
00:21:11,010 --> 00:21:12,470
I mean,
I thought she was great.
445
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:15,910
- Whatever.
- I mean, smart, charming.
446
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:19,970
- And those cans, am I right?
- Yeah, they looked pretty squeezy.
447
00:21:20,010 --> 00:21:22,401
Thinking maybe instead of asking
her out to make me jealous,
448
00:21:22,426 --> 00:21:25,710
you should've just asked her
out because she's awesome.
449
00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:34,340
Honey, I'm home.
450
00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:36,340
You know
what I'd do if I were you?
451
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:38,370
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
this is my favorite part!
452
00:21:38,394 --> 00:21:40,140
Mine too!
453
00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:43,140
Fill my boots with lead
and jump in the ocean,
454
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:45,510
you pig-nosed gypsy!
455
00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:50,523
- Oh, gosh, that's good.
- Fantastic.
456
00:21:53,044 --> 00:21:57,193
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