1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,302 [gun cocks] 2 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,305 man: [echoing laughter] 3 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:08,275 [tense music] 4 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:12,646 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,449 [laughter continues] 6 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,152 - Just give it up, Fabian. 7 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,722 man: [echoing laughter] 8 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:28,662 ♪ ♪ 9 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,399 [laughter continues] 10 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,001 [gunshot blasts] Ow! 11 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,302 Aww, man. [bell dings] 12 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,538 [cheers and applause] 13 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,339 Dang it. This was my year 14 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,074 for the Agent Skills Competition. 15 00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:43,076 I put it on my vision board and everything. 16 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,479 - Next to the sunset? - Above the sunset. 17 00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,514 - Wow. I can't believe that didn't work. 18 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,449 Well, maybe next time-- and I know this sounds crazy-- 19 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,151 you could try not sucking. 20 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,153 - Well, you don't have to be a dick about it. 21 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,421 - Have to? No. 22 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:56,023 But then I wouldn't be able to tell you 23 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,357 that the Treaty of Versailles called, 24 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,393 and it wants its total failure to achieve any 25 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,994 of its stated goals back. 26 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,563 Also, it's sorry about Europe. 27 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,699 - Well, if you're so great, why is your intel so bad? 28 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,534 My name's not Fabian. 29 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,570 - Oh, I know that. That's my boss's name. 30 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,271 Yelling it gets me in the mood to shoot people 31 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,706 that I pretend are him. 32 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,508 - Well, you got lucky. - Sure. 33 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,376 Though, in a mirror maze, maybe consider 34 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,779 not putting on a gallon of cologne that smells like... 35 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,248 [sniffs] Gasoline and decaying hobo foot. 36 00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:22,249 [gun cocks] 37 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,684 - Ow. 38 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:27,354 Now what was that for? - You're still wearing it. 39 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:30,324 [main title theme] 40 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:37,264 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:54,147 --> 00:02:01,088 ♪ ♪ 42 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,228 - Hello, Clandesti-con, 43 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,664 where spying meets sweaty buffet food. 44 00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,566 Who wants a brochure for IIA, 45 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,269 the soulless company that is making us do this? 46 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,671 - Come on, Lana. Let's have some fun with it. 47 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,540 We'll take these lemons and make-- 48 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,009 - Concentrated citric acid to spray in our own eyes? 49 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,377 - I have some in my purse if you need it. 50 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,779 - This isn't so bad. When I temped at IIA, 51 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,081 they were trying to increase productivity, 52 00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,450 so they docked your pay if you peed more than twice a day. 53 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,753 - Ugh. I hate this company. 54 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,322 - Nice job in the competition, Archer. 55 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:38,525 Though calling your opponent "Fabian" raised eyebrows. 56 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,194 These two specifically. 57 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,196 - Well, despite the fact that you're praising me, 58 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,530 which makes it nearly impossible for me 59 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,366 to not like you, I still definitely wanna murder you. 60 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,702 - Today is a crucial day for all of you. 61 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,637 We are launching The Agency 62 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:54,208 as a distinct boutique branch of IIA. 63 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,642 - Wait, really? We'll have autonomy? 64 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:59,580 - Yes. Exactly as much autonomy as Kermit the Frog. 65 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,149 - Yo, you think Miss Piggy is abusing him? 66 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,017 I know she plays rough, but-- 67 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,586 - I get the feeling he enjoys it. 68 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,788 Who wouldn't? Roughed up by a pig in jewelry. 69 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,591 - No. I mean you'll be a thin piece of fabric 70 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,559 with my hand up your ass. 71 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,361 - Where's your sense of wonder? 72 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:18,265 - IIA represents 60% of private spying, 73 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,101 but some clients are too mired in the past. 74 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,371 They want a personal touch. Authenticity. 75 00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,573 That's what you lot are for-- to fake that. 76 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,610 - So pretend we're independent to make IIA more successful 77 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,179 and allow you to ruthlessly exploit us. 78 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,481 - Welcome to the concept of a job. 79 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:38,085 Now, I'm giving the keynote for the conference later today: 80 00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:41,188 a speech entitled "Leadership as a Network." 81 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,056 - You can't just say "noun as a different noun" 82 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:44,391 and pretend that it means something. 83 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,461 - Sure I can. I call it "language as a weapon." 84 00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,129 Now, Archer, you need to win 85 00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,664 the Agent Skills Competition 86 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,333 if we're going to launch The Agency properly. 87 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,469 By the way, the board hates the idea. 88 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,237 They'd rather you were completely broken up 89 00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,739 and redistributed. 90 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:01,141 So, Archer, our fate is in your hands. 91 00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:03,644 - Well, sayonara, guys. - Oh, boy. 92 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,712 - You know what? I'll be honest with you. 93 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:09,016 That's a responsibility I take very seriously. 94 00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:13,587 Round of Glengoolie Blues, please. 95 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,123 - I'm looking for one of you 96 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,091 to take the mantle of leadership. 97 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:21,028 Under me, of course. So dot, dot, dot. 98 00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,763 - Are the dots supposed to make me love stickers? 99 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,731 Damn it! I should be in the competition with Archer! 100 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,100 - No, Lana. I need you here, 101 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,335 front and center. 102 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,636 And don't be afraid to get out there 103 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,705 and really be diverse. 104 00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,074 Remember, a personal touch. 105 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,409 [smacks] - You heard him, sweetheart. 106 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,777 A personal touch. 107 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,645 - Hey, would you like some stickers? 108 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,747 They're edible. - They don't look edible. 109 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,749 - Anything's edible if you try hard enough. 110 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,085 - [grunting] - Aww, lucky. 111 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,653 - Should we do something? 112 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,755 - Like make popcorn? Or what? 113 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:51,525 - [gurgles] - Now where is she going? 114 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,760 - [grunting] [bell dings] 115 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,497 I think you got me. 116 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:59,199 - See? You just get me. I do feel a responsibility 117 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,734 to keep my mother's legacy alive, 118 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,537 but on the other hand, now I don't have to worry about being 119 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,039 yelled at by the one person in the world who scares me. 120 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:09,543 So do I go with responsibility, or do I go balls to the wall? 121 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,512 Or, more accurately, balls to the wall 122 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,680 then through that wall into an adjoining wall 123 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,182 that's probably load-bearing. 124 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,018 [jazz music playing] 125 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,354 - So...which is it? 126 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,256 - [exhales] 127 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:23,590 I'm thinking. 128 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,758 [cheers and applause] 129 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,527 Robert: I thought that was you, Lana. 130 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,662 Finally. - Robert? What the hell? 131 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,597 Did you just fly all the way to Dubai 132 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,000 to hear me say, "Talk to my divorce lawyer?" 133 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,402 - Yes. And was on the way to Abu Dhabi. 134 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,205 Now, I get that I'm the one who's mostly at fault here-- 135 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:40,507 - Mostly? - But you aren't blameless. 136 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,676 And we need to think about what's best for AJ. 137 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:45,112 - Oh-ho-ho. Is that why you nailed that skank? 138 00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,447 For AJ? What, were you looking for a parenting book 139 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:48,749 between her piss flaps? 140 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,118 - No. That's not where they keep those. 141 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,119 - What are you even worried about? 142 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,353 We signed a prenup. 143 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,122 - Well, there is the issue of custody. 144 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,590 - Excuse me? 145 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,225 - I'm just being realistic. 146 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,527 It was your job that got AJ kidnapped. 147 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:03,630 To a judge, that sounds like an unsafe environment. 148 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,365 And if they put AJ on the stand, 149 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:08,635 are you 100% sure she chooses you? 150 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,470 Why do you have teeth marks on your elbow? 151 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,573 - I'll show you. Do you like stickers? 152 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:14,508 - I'm sensing you need space. 153 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,044 - What? - Shouldn't you be 154 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,212 back at the booth? 155 00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:20,280 - No, because what I do is kick ass. 156 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,082 And I should be in the competition 157 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,085 so I can take over when Archer screws up. 158 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,255 - Come, now. Archer is reliable when he needs to be. 159 00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:30,257 He's resting right now for his next round. 160 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,260 - Uh, did he specify the type of round? 161 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,495 Archer: Whoo-hoo! 162 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,996 [swallowing] 163 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:39,032 [laughs] 164 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,768 - I'm not totally convinced that's a downside. 165 00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:46,106 It's like his liver absorbs alcohol and excretes luck. 166 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,642 Having said that, you can stay in the competition. 167 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,310 - Thank you. I was going to anyway, 168 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,512 you absolute turd. 169 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,514 But thank you. 170 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,449 Archer: The competition is basically a formality. 171 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,751 I'm generally considered the world's greatest spy. 172 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,287 - Yes. You absolutely were. 173 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,323 You know, I used to be a spy just like you. 174 00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:05,425 - Oh, who'd you spy for, the Etruscans? 175 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,060 - Hmm. Indeed. 176 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,063 In this biz, one minute, you're the greatest thing 177 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,032 since the 3:00 p. m. dinner special, 178 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,401 and the next, dog shit on a bun. 179 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,604 My advice? Buy mustard, lad. 180 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,240 - Why would I buy mustard to eat myself? 181 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,010 So you think about that. 182 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:25,078 - Ugh. Why are you in such a great mood? 183 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,481 - Why don't you ask your face? [laughs] 184 00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:30,217 - My face says Robert's gonna fight for custody of AJ. 185 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,451 - Um, can he do that? [phone beeps] 186 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:32,719 - Well, when you have that much money, 187 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,354 turns out you can pretty much do anything. 188 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:35,656 Why is AJ not picking up? 189 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,591 - A kid not picking up a phone call? 190 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,127 Weird. Did you try her telegraph? 191 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,729 Or lighting the signal fires of Gondor? 192 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,699 - [sighs] Why is everything so complicated? 193 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,302 - Because you're divorcing one of the world's richest men- 194 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,138 slash-ex-boss who wants custody of the daughter you had 195 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,373 with a different coworker. - Well, sure, but-- 196 00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:55,375 - All while you work for a corporate behemoth 197 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,277 that seems to be trying to take over the world. 198 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:00,080 - Yes. All of that. I guess. 199 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,583 - Well, I discovered the answer to all those problems, Lana. 200 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,585 It's simple, it's easy, 201 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,487 and it's right at the bottom of this glass. 202 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,056 [clink] 203 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,791 - Well, it wasn't at the bottom of that one, 204 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,126 But I'm no quitter. 205 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,262 - Behold, an audio bug. 206 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,698 Ooh. 207 00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:21,635 And that's all it does. The wonders of IIA science. 208 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,238 - A microphone. Truly groundbreaking-- 209 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,507 for 1876. 210 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,609 - Hey, what's that new one you're working on called? 211 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,144 The wheel? [both laugh] 212 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,446 - Got 'em good, Ikari. 213 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,281 - I am working on something called The Wheel! 214 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,216 But it's a sex thing... 215 00:08:36,250 --> 00:08:39,686 that I can't build at work. And you call that justice? 216 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,255 - Okay, look, I get it. 217 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:44,191 IIA might not be the "cool upstart rebel," 218 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,626 but this ain't "The Breakfast Club," 219 00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:48,162 and Judd Nelson doesn't end up with Molly Ringwald. 220 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,564 He ends up at the bottom of a lake wearing concrete shoes 221 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,466 with my frickin' initials on them. 222 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:54,568 That's the power of IIA with The Agency 223 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,236 as your personal concierge. 224 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:58,105 - I'm intrigued. 225 00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,140 - And tell them Ray Gillette sent you. 226 00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:02,442 - Wh--stealing my customers? Really? 227 00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,178 You think that'll get you Mallory's chair? 228 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:05,312 - All's fair in love and-- 229 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,713 Ow! - Ahh! 230 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,315 - Damn it! - [clears throat] 231 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,550 - Where the hell'd you come from? 232 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,586 - A good leader always keeps tabs on his team. 233 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,488 - So spying on us? 234 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,557 - How is it that passing out brochures 235 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,225 is somehow beyond you? 236 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,160 And why are you standing there nodding? 237 00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:22,129 I said I wanted leadership. 238 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,131 You look like a bobblehead they give away 239 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,667 to raise awareness for diabetic librarians. 240 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:29,236 - Technically, I'm prediabetic. 241 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,573 Oh, what are we gonna do about that guy? 242 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,141 - Complain and then nothing? 243 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,709 This is fun. Ask me another one. 244 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:38,345 - Here's some fun. I just put a bug on Fabian. 245 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,713 If we get dirt on him, 246 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:42,282 maybe then he'll approve my design for the gun bomb. 247 00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:44,318 You see, it looks like a gun-- 248 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,220 - Or improve working conditions. 249 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,089 - Yeah. We were promised curated snacks. 250 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,025 - At this point, your blood's just melted Otter Pops, huh? 251 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,627 - Well, you guys have fun. 252 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,630 I'm off to find the best part about every convention: 253 00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,398 the party room. 254 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,735 Oh, if Fabian comes back, tell him he can gnaw on my chode. 255 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,204 [laughs] 256 00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:06,240 - Yeah, I'm not gonna tell him that. 257 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,543 - Come on. Let's hear some bottles popping, 258 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,379 maybe some fun squishy noises. 259 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,615 Whoa. Now, that's contraband. 260 00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,416 [mysterious music] 261 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,453 Not following you. I'm not following you. 262 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,688 Just checking stuff out. 263 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,691 [door squeaks] 264 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,126 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 265 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,630 Who's ready to Pam-page? 266 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,665 [guns cocking] 267 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,433 Oh. Wrong party. 268 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,102 - Hey, get her! 269 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,704 [men grunting] 270 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,473 - [laughs] 271 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:43,110 I need to party at work more often. 272 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,579 We are gonna crush this next event. 273 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,047 - Whoa. Lana. 274 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,248 High-fiving is one of those things 275 00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:50,017 you should never do when drunk, 276 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,619 like bomb disposal or helping deliver a baby. 277 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,288 - Haven't you done both of those? 278 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,589 - That's how I know. 279 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,391 - All right. Now, nobody worry, 280 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,259 'cause Archer and I have been resting-- 281 00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,494 - Ahh! - Shit! 282 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,462 [panting] Guys, there was a room. 283 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,298 Guns--lots. 284 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,999 Like, they're probably coming. 285 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,301 - Kind of sounds like you're coming. 286 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,436 Kaboom! [laughs] That's a new thing I do. 287 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,405 - No, you don't. And it doesn't even sound like that. 288 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,574 - How would you know? - Solid burn. 289 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,542 But Pam, look at the security here. 290 00:11:15,576 --> 00:11:16,677 They don't allow guns on the floor, 291 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,245 so what would they even do? 292 00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,613 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, guys. 293 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:22,049 Something's happening with Fabian. 294 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,451 - No! You'll pay for this! [clattering] 295 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,520 You'll never take me alive! 296 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,088 [grunting] 297 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,357 Okay, so you took me alive. 298 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,227 - So, uh...what? 299 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,200 - Okay, now that we've had a moment to process--what? 300 00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,035 - Why are they kidnapping him? 301 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,738 - They're probably trying to humiliate IIA. 302 00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,340 It's right before his speech, 303 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,041 so they'll have to admit he's kidnapped, 304 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,476 and if they can't protect their own, 305 00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:51,144 then how are they gonna protect you? 306 00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,714 Then they parade him, and then they kill him. 307 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,215 What? We were all thinking it. 308 00:11:55,249 --> 00:11:57,251 - Does this solve everything? 309 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,553 - Yeah, except he said that the board would break us up 310 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,355 and redistribute us. 311 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,191 - Wait, are we actually gonna save Fabian? 312 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,093 - No. We're gonna save Fabian. 313 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,028 You two have to win that competition. 314 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,663 We still need a splash for The Agency. 315 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:11,031 Plus if you dropped out, 316 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,399 the kidnappers will know something's up. 317 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,002 - Ugh. I really wish I hadn't had that many drinks. 318 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,570 - Me too, but the opposite. 319 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,273 - So what's your next event? 320 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,541 [propellers whirring] 321 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,242 woman: Nearing the drop zone. 322 00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:24,711 If you are to die, please take comfort in the fact 323 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:27,214 that it will not upset me at all. 324 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,582 [dramatic music] [rumbling] 325 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,617 - Ugh. Oh, I'm gonna puke. 326 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:33,554 - Wow. Is it Dartmouth freshman orientation already? 327 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,556 Seriously, if you were any more of a lightweight, 328 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,057 you'd be levitating. 329 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,358 - Should we be, like... [retches] 330 00:12:38,392 --> 00:12:40,060 More concerned about this Fabian thing? 331 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,196 - Nah. The rest of the gang is on it. 332 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,665 [dramatic music] - Well, we could-- 333 00:12:44,698 --> 00:12:47,067 - Ooh, or we could, um... 334 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,604 - I hate to ask, but who got kidnapped again? 335 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,439 - Still no call back from AJ. 336 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,474 Okay, I'll just text her and tell her that I'll take her out 337 00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,709 this weekend and do whatever she wants. 338 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,444 - [makes buzzer sound] Wrong. 339 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,279 You just demanded more time from her, 340 00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:00,647 and now she just resents you. 341 00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:02,349 Text her that you were just thinking of her 342 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,650 and how proud you are. 343 00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:05,619 Then write, "No need to respond." 344 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,187 - How do you know this stuff? 345 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:08,555 - It helps that I've never moved 346 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:10,057 past emotional adolescence. 347 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,758 - This event is very simple. 348 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,561 Five briefcases. Five spots in the finals. 349 00:13:14,595 --> 00:13:16,663 No weapons. Any question? 350 00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:18,398 [dramatic music] 351 00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:21,001 [grunting] 352 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,536 Archer: Whoo-hoo! 353 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,138 Johnny Utah! 354 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,242 [both grunt] 355 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,710 - Excuse me. 356 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,144 Excuse me. - [grunts] 357 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,679 - Pardon me. Pardon me. 358 00:13:32,713 --> 00:13:34,014 Oh, 'scuse me. Pardon me. 359 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,549 - [grunts] 360 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,184 [both grunt] 361 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:39,086 - [grunts] 362 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,121 Falkor, away! 363 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,256 - [grunts] 364 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:47,294 ♪ ♪ 365 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,396 - Oh, ahh! 366 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:52,666 - I guess we're interpreting "no weapons" pretty liberally. 367 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,468 [both grunting] 368 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,069 - [stomach rumbles] [groans] 369 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,604 - Ahh! Disgusting! 370 00:13:57,638 --> 00:14:00,174 - Uh, let's not tell anyone about this. 371 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,075 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 372 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:04,645 ♪ ♪ 373 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,313 [both grunting] 374 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,082 - Decent trade. 375 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,518 Woman: Altitude warning. Pull now. 376 00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:17,424 ♪ ♪ 377 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,093 - Ahh! - You big baby. 378 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,562 Just use your backup chute. 379 00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,130 [thuds] 380 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,232 - Unless we were way lower than I thought. 381 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,201 Really should have been keeping tabs on that. 382 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,569 Oh, well. 383 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:30,737 Cyril: Well, what? Cheryl: Well, catch me up. 384 00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:32,673 - You've been here the whole time. 385 00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,241 - Quiet down. 386 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,310 We're trying to flirt our way to finding out 387 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:39,680 who booked that conference room full of dudes and guns. 388 00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:43,150 And striking out. 0 for 2. 389 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,718 - I don't know, y'all. I can't get a read. 390 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,221 He's like a sexual Rubik's Cube. 391 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,623 - Or as I call it, a Rubik's Cube. 392 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,725 Huh. Maybe I should give him a try. 393 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,461 I've developed a sexual nervous system stimulator 394 00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:56,497 I call "The Wheel." 395 00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:58,632 - Okay, I'll bite. Why is it called The Wheel? 396 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,502 - Because once it gets rolling, there's no stopping it. 397 00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,437 - Any other ideas? 398 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,606 Literally anything. 399 00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:08,008 - [sighs] Can I help any of you 400 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,444 in some way that does not involve, and I quote, 401 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,312 "a hot beef enema"? 402 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,181 - That wasn't me! - I panicked! 403 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,483 - Just stand right there. Hold on. 404 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:17,718 [machine whirs] Keep standing. 405 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,219 - Really, I don't have time for-- 406 00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:21,588 - And you're overwhelmed. - Oh. Oh. Ahh. 407 00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:23,190 Ahh, ahh, ahh. Ahh! 408 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,359 - Got it! Whoever booked the conference room 409 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,327 is staying in the Sultan Suite. clerk: Ahh! Ahh! Oh! 410 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,462 - You ever lend that thing out? 411 00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:30,197 - Sure. Just clear your schedule, 412 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:33,233 because it goes for, like, a couple of days. 413 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,535 clerk: Oh. 414 00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:36,603 - So we enter, clear the guards-- 415 00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:38,705 - With what? We don't have guns. 416 00:15:38,739 --> 00:15:40,340 - Guys, in the dealer's hall. 417 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,309 There's a ton of non-lethals in there. 418 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:45,045 Tasers, air hammers, something called a knife light. 419 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,580 - Well, then let's get sampling. 420 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,248 - All right. We're in the finals. 421 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,417 - It's getting intense. They tried to kill us up there. 422 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,319 - How are things here? - Great. 423 00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,655 We've located Fabian and the kidnappers, 424 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,456 and we've got a plan to get them back. 425 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:58,625 - You do? I was assuming you'd fail. 426 00:15:58,659 --> 00:16:00,494 - And why would you think that? 427 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:03,130 - Because you're you? 428 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,232 - This was the plan! - I didn't think it would work. 429 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,501 Are we really saving this guy? He sucks. 430 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:10,037 I hate him, and he's gonna make us do bad jobs 431 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,738 for terrible people. - You think I want this? 432 00:16:11,772 --> 00:16:14,208 All I want is to do my job and go home. 433 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,610 But if we get fired, that's not gonna help my custody problem. 434 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,212 - Custody problem? 435 00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:20,247 If you need me to give Robert a personal tour 436 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,649 of an industrial thresher, say the word. 437 00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:24,218 - No. - Got it. 438 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,086 - No, you don't. - [whispers] Okay. 439 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:30,324 - But, I mean, saving Fabian is the only way we stay together. 440 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,025 Right? - We'll figure the rest out, 441 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,427 but not if we're separated. 442 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,362 Y'all--y'all are family. 443 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,397 - Oh, my God. Is this what it's come to? 444 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,333 Acting responsibly? 445 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,768 Ugh. Fine. Let's go save a jerk's life, 446 00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:43,704 thereby making the world a worse place. 447 00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:45,706 - Yay for the good guys. 448 00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:47,474 - Should we even do the competition? 449 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,343 - If you drop out now, the kidnappers will know 450 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,044 something's up and kill Fabian. 451 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,346 - So what's the final event? 452 00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,081 - Gonne be hard to top skydiving. 453 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,449 [cheers and applause] woman: And now, 454 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,151 it's time to reveal the final event 455 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,121 of the Clandesti-con Agent Skills Competition. 456 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,124 Your final event will be 457 00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:08,428 King of the Train! 458 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,063 [cheers and applause] 459 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,999 - Holy shit. 460 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:15,602 - Forget responsibility. I'm gonna be king of the train. 461 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,275 [cheers and applause] 462 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,076 - Stay on your toes. 463 00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,012 One of us has to win to keep The Agency alive and-- 464 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,580 - Uh, yeah. Whatever. 465 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,550 I'm gonna be king of the train. Toot toot! 466 00:17:29,583 --> 00:17:31,585 - Ugh. Everyone in position? 467 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,021 - Yeah. But this stuff from the dealer's hall 468 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,556 isn't the most intimidating. 469 00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:36,990 - I don't even know what this does. 470 00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:38,692 [sprays] [coughing] 471 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,661 - Yeah, we're gonna need a few minutes. 472 00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:42,129 Archer: I'll signal you at the start. 473 00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:44,164 Chances are, they'll be distracted watching 474 00:17:44,198 --> 00:17:47,434 the closed-circuit feed of my glorious victory. 475 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,570 [lights boom] If you touch the ground 476 00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:52,439 or get hit by a paintball, you're out. 477 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,308 You start with no weapons, 478 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,077 but you may find some at points on the train, 479 00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:00,414 as well as a few surprises. 480 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,316 Now, the time has come 481 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:06,587 to find the most skilled agent in the world. 482 00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,089 [dramatic music] 483 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,124 [knocking on door] 484 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:14,294 woman: Three. Two. One. 485 00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:16,997 Begin! - [grunts] 486 00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:18,165 [Taser clicks] [both groan] 487 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,567 - Shocking. [thuds] 488 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,569 - Kaboom! [energy blasts] 489 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,539 - Ahh! - [chuckles] 490 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:26,707 - [grunts] 491 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:28,308 Whoa! 492 00:18:28,342 --> 00:18:29,343 [grunts] 493 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:32,412 ♪ ♪ 494 00:18:32,446 --> 00:18:34,081 [gunshots blasting] 495 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,349 [glass shatters] 496 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,050 [gun clicks] 497 00:18:37,084 --> 00:18:38,452 - [whistling] - [grunts] 498 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,320 - Ahh! [grunting] 499 00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:43,156 - [groans] [mist spritzes] 500 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,992 - Ahh! [laser buzzes] 501 00:18:45,025 --> 00:18:47,528 Oh, knife light! Now I get it. 502 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:50,297 - Hold still, Cirque du Suck Ass! 503 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:53,300 [dramatic music] 504 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,537 - We're leaving. Nobody move, or Fabian gets it. 505 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,272 - [grunts] Do what he says! 506 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,676 [cheers and applause] 507 00:19:04,111 --> 00:19:05,746 [mechanical whirring] 508 00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:07,047 - Archer! Duck! 509 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,283 - Ooh. 510 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,151 Ugh. 511 00:19:11,185 --> 00:19:12,719 - God. You couldn't just duck? 512 00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,588 - You know I have trust issues, Lana, 513 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,157 which you are partially responsible for. 514 00:19:17,191 --> 00:19:18,258 - How? - I don't know, 515 00:19:18,292 --> 00:19:19,326 but it feels right! 516 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,162 ♪ ♪ 517 00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:24,164 [gunshots blast] 518 00:19:24,932 --> 00:19:27,568 Oh, now she has a jetpack and a machine gun? 519 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,569 - How is that fair? 520 00:19:28,602 --> 00:19:30,704 [mechanical whir] 521 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:33,140 [explosion booms] 522 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:34,708 [audience gasps] 523 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,077 - Still want that jetpack? - I know you want me to say no, 524 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:39,046 but the answer is still yes! 525 00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:41,548 ♪ ♪ 526 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:43,050 [gun clicks] 527 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:44,418 Pam: We need backup! 528 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,752 They're bringing Fabian to the floor! 529 00:19:45,786 --> 00:19:48,055 - Throw me the gun! - It's empty! 530 00:19:48,088 --> 00:19:49,156 - Just throw it to me! 531 00:19:51,325 --> 00:19:53,360 [laughs] Man, this is such a bad idea. 532 00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:55,562 [gears grind] [explosion booms] 533 00:19:55,596 --> 00:19:57,164 - Whoa! - [grunts] 534 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,666 [crashing] [audience exclaims] 535 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,202 [crashing] 536 00:20:02,236 --> 00:20:04,304 [both scream] 537 00:20:04,338 --> 00:20:05,439 Archer: Look out! 538 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:09,643 ♪ ♪ 539 00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:15,182 - Everyone, this is what we think of IIA. 540 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,483 - Lana. Lana. 541 00:20:16,517 --> 00:20:18,552 Do something! Lana, I know you're faking. 542 00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:21,054 - No. I'm very, very unconscious. 543 00:20:21,088 --> 00:20:23,056 - Why am I always the responsible one? 544 00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:25,459 - And so I don't shoot Fabian for me. 545 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,694 I shoot him for-- - Ahh! [grunts] 546 00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:30,297 woman: What an amazing performance. 547 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,033 Congratulations to the king of the train, 548 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,569 Agent Lana Kane, 549 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:40,140 representing The Agency, a boutique subsidiary of IIA. 550 00:20:40,174 --> 00:20:42,042 - God damn it. - Thank you. 551 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:44,044 Thank you. You're too kind. 552 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,480 And great work by The Agency. 553 00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:48,582 [applause] Now, that was obviously 554 00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:51,318 a fake kidnapping and assassination, 555 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,719 but they didn't know that. 556 00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:55,589 In fact, this was the demonstration portion 557 00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:59,026 of my talk, "Leadership as a Network." 558 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:03,130 I turned this unruly bunch into a finely-honed fighting force. 559 00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:06,333 Sterling Archer himself stepped between me and a bullet 560 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,269 despite the fact that he hates my guts. 561 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,271 That is the power of leadership. 562 00:21:11,305 --> 00:21:12,539 [applause] 563 00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:13,674 Well, thank you all 564 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,442 for helping me with my speech. 565 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:19,012 - So who gets to be head of The Agency? 566 00:21:19,046 --> 00:21:21,415 I gave away the most brochures. Kaboom. 567 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,017 - Jesus, Cyril. Not the time. 568 00:21:24,051 --> 00:21:26,053 But it's me, right? See me lead that mission? 569 00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,055 - Actually, it's Agent Gillette. 570 00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:30,057 - So, uh, what? 571 00:21:30,090 --> 00:21:32,559 - Because he understood the true mission. 572 00:21:32,593 --> 00:21:35,429 He's been gathering dirt on all of you for years, 573 00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:38,665 which he has compiled in this very convenient binder. 574 00:21:38,699 --> 00:21:41,702 Like "Pam once snuck a goat into the office. 575 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:44,571 No one knows why." - I was fostering it. 576 00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:46,306 - And the next week, she brought in 577 00:21:46,340 --> 00:21:48,308 goat meat tacos for everyone. 578 00:21:48,342 --> 00:21:51,044 - That goat's personality was very toxic. 579 00:21:51,078 --> 00:21:54,581 - Well, I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. 580 00:21:54,615 --> 00:21:57,684 - You backstabbing son of a bitch. 581 00:21:57,718 --> 00:22:01,688 - In my defense, I did not know he was gonna tell everybody. 582 00:22:01,722 --> 00:22:04,024 - Aww. Heh. 583 00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:05,292 Look. 584 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,427 You know, you're good at this, Archer. 585 00:22:07,461 --> 00:22:10,697 It'll take time, but maybe you should get more involved. 586 00:22:10,731 --> 00:22:12,266 - You're right. And, you know, 587 00:22:12,299 --> 00:22:13,700 I didn't wanna let you win, 588 00:22:13,734 --> 00:22:16,303 but up there on the train, I suddenly had this idea-- 589 00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,305 being declared the best agent in the world. 590 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:20,340 That's gotta help your custody case for AJ. 591 00:22:20,374 --> 00:22:22,342 And that keeps her in my life. 592 00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:26,313 - Aww. Buddy, that won't affect the case at all. 593 00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:27,681 They don't consider that kind of thing. 594 00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,316 - God damn it. That's it! 595 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,318 I've learned a very valuable lesson today. 596 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:34,021 Making the responsible choice is for suckers. 597 00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:36,456 Until now, I've been the careful, restrained, 598 00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:38,659 subtle, rule-respecting Archer. 599 00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:41,061 - What? - But that is over! 600 00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:43,030 Welcome to the new Archer. 601 00:22:43,063 --> 00:22:45,432 I'm gonna go find two bottles of whiskey, three women, 602 00:22:45,465 --> 00:22:48,168 a full-color illustrated edition of the Kama Sutra, 603 00:22:48,202 --> 00:22:51,271 and six gallons of orange sports drink. 604 00:22:51,305 --> 00:22:54,308 I will see you all one: when I feel like it, 605 00:22:54,341 --> 00:22:56,510 and two: in hell! 606 00:22:59,346 --> 00:23:01,181 - God damn it. 607 00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:08,155 ♪ ♪ 608 00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:23,036 - Made in Georgia.