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[dramatic music]
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00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:20,420
♪ ♪
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Plantain?
4
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I don't care what it takes,
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you are gonna get
this plane in the air!
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Eh, it's not getting it in
the air that I'm worried about.
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Listen to me,
you backwater B. A. Baracus.
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My tour group
is on a deadline.
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- And we're getting cranky!
- [burps] And thirsty!
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And probably dengue fever.
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You want some help, boss?
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No, and not your boss,
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your guide on a scenic
aerial jungle tour.
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Yeah, we get lots of tours
that come through here
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with giant bags of guns.
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- You being smart with me?
- No, señor.
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I don't think
you'd understand me if I did.
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Now, you listen good.
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I don't know what tragic series
of screw-ups
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in the bird shit on a dog shit
you call a life
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led you to working
in this tropical hellhole,
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but trust me when I say
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that if you don't find me
a working plane,
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I'll shove a propeller
down your throat,
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an engine up your ass,
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and use you
to fly my tour group!
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Okay, you take off in five.
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And that is called leadership.
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Is it?
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Felt more like
a threat of sodomy.
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That's the title of my novel!
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Oh, relax. These old birds
maintain themselves.
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They're indestructible.
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Cheryl: I'm calling my travel
agent--this is a bad tour.
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Not actually a tour.
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Just a bad mission
organized by a bad leader.
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You guys, Fabian chose Ray
to lead us.
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I say we respect that, and--
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[laughing] I couldn't finish,
even as a joke.
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You suck, dude.
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I'll--I'll admit that we're
off to a rough start,
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but if we stick together--
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We'll die together?
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Archer, help me out.
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You've been in worse spots
than this, right?
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Archer? Archer?
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Oh, sorry.
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I was deep in thought
about what would happen
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if I took one of the thousands
of piranhas
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from the waters
that now surround us
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and shoved it down
your esophagus.
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And what would happen if I did
the same thing 20 times
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and then set you on fire?
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I mean, he'd probably die.
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[main title theme]
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♪ ♪
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[grunting]
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Cheese and rice!
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That was the cheese and rice.
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Salvage with your back.
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00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,795
Ooh, if you see a very
unstable bomb, that's mine.
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00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,797
And feel free
to help, Archer.
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[scoffs] I would, Ray,
but not helping pays the same
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and doesn't require trying.
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What is your problem lately?
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In Mother's absence,
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I realized I can do
what I want,
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e.g., nothing,
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when I want, e. g., now,
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because no one is the boss
of me anymore,
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e.g., I'm done talking.
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I am literally
the boss of you.
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Bomb! No, wait, rock.
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Well, we're definitely
on an island.
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And surrounded by piranhas.
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And possibly those hippos
that escaped
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from Pablo Escobar's zoo.
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Good crash, Ray.
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I didn't choose this.
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I was trying
to stay on schedule
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to impress Fabian
with my leadership.
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You don't know
the pressure I'm under
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to make mission quotas.
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I--God damn it, woman!
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Quit licking the toads!
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Ugh! Can we go
to a different island?
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The frogs here are non-druggie.
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No.
We dig in, wait for rescue.
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Yeah, we need to keep up
our strength for the mission.
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So, obviously,
piranha barbecue.
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No!
We need better frogs!
92
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No!
We need to get back up river!
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Cyril: No.
Cheryl: No.
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Pam: Yep.
Archer: Yeah, sure.
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Lana: No.
- Everybody stop taking charge!
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I'm already in charge,
and I'm making a plan.
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For how to fill the power
vacuum left by you sucking?
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For the mission--
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liberating a stash
of stolen medical supplies
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from the warlord known
only as Serpiente.
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Ring a bell?
- Oh, yeah.
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We're still doing that?
- Yes!
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It's my only chance to maintain
my leadership position.
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- Slash parking space.
- Ooh, stakes.
105
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Look, we may have crashed
and lost all our supplies.
106
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And guns.
107
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And a bomb that had
sentimental value.
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[sniffles]
This was her detonator.
109
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,590
But we can get resupplied
once we contact Fabian.
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00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,159
Cheryl, where are we
with the hand-crank sat phone.
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- Uh, on an island?
- I mean, did you crank it?
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A lady never tells.
113
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Why are you even here?
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[sighs] It was the best
of my bad options.
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Lord of Cinders,
116
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command me!
117
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Forgot my keys
when I left two minutes ago.
118
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Oh, they're on the printer.
119
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FYI, the Lord of Cinders is
always looking for new candles.
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Uh, good to know.
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Margo?
122
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Explode if you're close!
123
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Krieger, stop trying
to detonate a missing bomb
124
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before you kill us.
125
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,795
Uh-oh, someone's mad
they're not in charge.
126
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No.
I accept Fabian's decision.
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I'm choosing to be good
at my job
128
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and let positive things come.
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Like Ray getting more chances
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to kill us with his arrogance
and incompetence?
131
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"Incobegence"!
132
00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,440
Okay, it's charged.
[line trilling]
133
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Everybody shut up.
134
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And this is your desk.
135
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If you need anything,
I'm right in there.
136
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,582
Oh, and if a rival agency attacks,
137
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,684
your chair is bulletproof.
138
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:52,452
Agent Gillette, status report.
139
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,488
Ray: Tiny hiccup.
140
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,456
We, uh, need an extraction.
141
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,292
Agent error, I presume.
142
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Archer: Hi, Fabian.
143
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Specifically lead agent error.
144
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,296
Quit it!
145
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,199
Look, Fabian, I-I-I know
it's a poor carpenter
146
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,300
who blames his tools,
147
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,568
but I have got a team
148
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,003
of some real, real shit hammers
down here.
149
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,206
And a helicopter extraction
150
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,374
would alert Serpiente
to your presence,
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00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,343
compromising
the entire mission.
152
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,445
[sighs] The best I can do
is a supply drop
153
00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:21,014
with local pilots
at your expense.
154
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,050
You can pick it up
five miles downriver,
155
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,551
and it's another five
to the compound.
156
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,386
So tally-ho.
157
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,288
Tally how?
We're stranded on an island
158
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in the middle of the Amazon,
you doof!
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00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,693
Fabian: Perhaps you've heard
of a new invention.
160
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,761
It holds people
and floats on water.
161
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,030
- [gasps] Ice!
- He means boats.
162
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,765
Ice can be boats.
Ask Jeffrey Pike.
163
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,634
Fabian: Call again when you're
outside the compound
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for further instructions.
165
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,337
Now, where were we?
166
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God, you're like if syphilis
was a person.
167
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[line clicks, beeps]
Hello? Damn it!
168
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:48,675
I don't think he heard that.
Ray, call him back.
169
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,410
This mission doesn't make
any damn sense.
170
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:51,645
How are we gonna extract
171
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these supposed
medical supplies anyway?
172
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,083
Well, we can start
by building a raft
173
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,518
Huck Finn style,
174
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,186
but without all the, you know--
175
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,788
Analysis of the hypocrisy
of civilized society?
176
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,525
- Archer, what are you doing?
- My own thing, Lana.
177
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,393
Call me
when we're leaving the island.
178
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,738
You know, I'm unarmed
179
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,208
and thus more likely
to instantly kill...
180
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anyone who tries to hurt
my new best friend!
181
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- [squeals]
- I shall call you--
182
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- Finished!
- Are we?
183
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,683
You made a death trap
184
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,585
out of pieces
of a previous death trap?
185
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,153
- [squeals]
- Oh, sorry.
186
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,189
Everyone, this is Ryan.
187
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,057
- [squeals]
- Charmed, I'm sure.
188
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,459
You're really gonna go this
entire mission without helping?
189
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,361
I'm just embracing
my new philosophy
190
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,163
of doing what I want
when I want.
191
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,432
Ugh, isn't that
what you always do?
192
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,401
Yes, but now I'm, you know,
really leaning in.
193
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:48,602
[squeals]
194
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,771
Sorry, we're really
leaning in.
195
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,173
But not on that raft.
It's a death trap.
196
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:56,343
Enough! It's a great raft!
And you want to know why?
197
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,011
Because only half of it
is sinking?
198
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,480
Because we made it as a team.
199
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,516
Teamwork is getting us
off this island.
200
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,184
There's a famous saying--
201
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,186
"If you want to go fast,
go alone.
202
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,388
But if you want to go far--"
203
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,257
- Ryan! No!
- [squealing]
204
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:12,426
[hissing]
205
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,430
Good news--
I checked, and we have room
206
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,099
in the budget for an extract
with the whisper copter.
207
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,634
Susan, if we help them now,
208
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,003
they'll never learn
to walk on their own.
209
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,371
But I love your initiative.
210
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,107
You're now
my executive assistant.
211
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,409
The position comes
with a shotgun.
212
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:31,078
Cyril: What are you saying?
213
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,413
[Ray speaking indistinctly]
214
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:37,751
Oh, he said, "Sacrifice
through flame brings purity."
215
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,454
If you keep struggling,
I'm done sucking out the venom.
216
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,123
Okeydoke,
we need a new mission leader.
217
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,592
[sighs] Pass.
I'm still thinking about Ryan.
218
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,793
I meant me.
219
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,362
Or I could take
a whack at it.
220
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,130
[chuckles]
And why would you lead?
221
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,266
Why not? I'm the same rank
as you and Archer,
222
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,735
and I'm literally saving
Ray's life as we speak.
223
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,470
Ray: Aah!
224
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,138
Oh, okay.
225
00:08:58,172 --> 00:08:59,706
Ray says, "Not fast enough,"
226
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,608
and that as
Miss Archer's assistant,
227
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,343
I'm already de facto leader,
228
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,212
depending
on what "de facto" means.
229
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,247
[gunshot]
230
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:11,185
It shall be I who leads.
[Archer and Lana laugh]
231
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,686
Where did you get
a flare gun?
232
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,121
I found it in the wreckage.
233
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,422
And you wasted it
234
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,224
on a gesture
highlighting your impotence.
235
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,193
Highlighting my lack
of impotence!
236
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,561
He quavered.
237
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,463
- Also, flares attract hippos!
- No, they don't.
238
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,566
Oh, then she's
just a coincidence.
239
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:28,335
Lana:
Oh! Jesus Christ!
240
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,270
Goddamn!
Escobar breeds a good hippo.
241
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:31,438
It's sinking the raft!
242
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,740
What's that beeping?
[device beeping]
243
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,509
Margo, you came back to me!
244
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,445
This reunion's going out
with a bang! Ugh!
245
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:41,081
Krieger:
No! Margo!
246
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,653
- Look!
- Yes! The supply drop!
247
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,222
What? No.
248
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,657
That cloud--it looks like
a centaur choking me.
249
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,398
Solid leadership, Ray.
250
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,167
Ray?
251
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,668
Yeah. Ray's dead.
252
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:03,537
[muffled]
What? No.
253
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,743
Okay, people,
let's move out,
254
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,578
starting with moving me.
255
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:13,046
We've got to hurry.
256
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,715
Someone else could have seen
the supply drop.
257
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,750
- I could lead a team ahead.
- And straight into quicksand?
258
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,719
At least I am trying to lead.
259
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,121
Hey, I'm still leading
this mission!
260
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:24,258
Now, make me a stretcher
and a fan out of palm fronds.
261
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,592
My skin is on fire.
262
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,028
We are not carrying you
like a king.
263
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,730
Or burying you like one.
264
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,099
If you die, let's be honest,
it's a shallow river grave.
265
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,667
I'd love that for you.
266
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,103
I'll be fine!
Right, Krieger?
267
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,538
Eh...
268
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,306
So I sucked poison
out of his face for nothing?
269
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,507
It's still a fun story.
270
00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:42,075
But if Ray doesn't get
antivenom soon,
271
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,610
there could be
permanent consequences.
272
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,079
What, like,
my face will stay like this?
273
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,515
Yes, because you'll be dead.
Lana: Ugh.
274
00:10:48,549 --> 00:10:50,284
Okay, I'm taking command.
275
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,451
Cheryl.
- Present!
276
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,020
You stay
with Ray and Krieger.
277
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,521
The rest of us will head
for the drop,
278
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,190
then push on
to find the medical supplies
279
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,157
and ideally antivenom.
280
00:10:57,191 --> 00:10:58,625
Here, crank this
281
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,527
to take your mind off
how you screwed the mission.
282
00:11:00,561 --> 00:11:03,197
I got bit tripping
over your stupid tapir!
283
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,365
A tapir, not my tapir!
284
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:08,268
You can't own something
that majestic!
285
00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:11,271
[dramatic music]
286
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:12,506
♪ ♪
287
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,075
Ah! Ow.
288
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,211
[laughs] FYI, Cyril,
this jungle has trees.
289
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,079
You released the branch
in my face.
290
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,781
As a teaching moment.
You're welcome.
291
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,150
Jungle physics 101!
292
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:26,353
Can we not shout so much
on this covert jungle mission?
293
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,622
Guys, guys, guys!
I found a footpath!
294
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,158
No, I don't like it.
It's too exposed.
295
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,759
Counterpoint--it's easier.
296
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:36,163
So you literally want to take
the path of least resistance?
297
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,464
It's famous for a reason.
298
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,066
Oh, we should put it
to a vote,
299
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,401
since, you know,
we are all equals here.
300
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:43,303
Counterpoint.
301
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:45,205
And the nays have it.
302
00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:47,207
[scoffs] Damn.
303
00:11:47,241 --> 00:11:49,109
Why is the person in charge,
304
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,578
who also happens
to be snake-bit,
305
00:11:51,612 --> 00:11:53,180
turning the damn crank?
306
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,148
Come on!
It'll get your blood flowing.
307
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,617
Ooh, actually,
that's really bad.
308
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,652
Cheryl: Good news--
- The others are back?
309
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:01,088
No, I'm done
with your shallow grave.
310
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,523
I made it extra shallow.
311
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,192
You know, I didn't ask
to lead this agency.
312
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:08,161
I just worked hard,
stabbed a couple backs,
313
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,364
and when the position
was offered to me, I said,
314
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,100
"Ray, take a risk.
Try something new."
315
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,335
I say that in my lab
all the time.
316
00:12:15,369 --> 00:12:17,337
Cheryl:
I have a jungle question.
317
00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:19,573
What do you do
if rocks are getting closer?
318
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,074
Archer:
Uh, wait for them to leave.
319
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,277
Lana: That's your plan?
Ray is dying!
320
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,312
Archer: Well, they have guns,
and we have Cyril,
321
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,247
who is, like,
the opposite of a gun.
322
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:28,482
If we'd stuck to the jungle,
323
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,284
we would have missed them completely.
324
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,752
Don't blame the path
of least resistance for this.
325
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,420
I'm blaming you!
326
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,455
- Ooh, I've got an idea.
- Guys, look.
327
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,124
Archer:
Guys with guns are leaving?
328
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,259
Thank you,
path of least resistance.
329
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,595
They're going
for our supply drop, dummy,
330
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,330
which means
they'll have more guns!
331
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,566
Hello?
Lady with an idea here.
332
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,135
Well, yeah, there'll be
some resistance later.
333
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,470
- Okay, I'm just doing it.
- Ah.
334
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:51,772
If I could just get
to that jeep...
335
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,740
Then you can get shot
hot-wiring it?
336
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:56,476
[Pam speaking Spanish]
337
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,082
Oh, man, you didn't say
that was part of it.
338
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,018
[speaking Spanish]
339
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,789
Damn, you think
you know a guy.
340
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,757
And then all of your
suspicions are confirmed.
341
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,359
Now's our chance.
342
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,295
Gracias...
[speaking Spanish]
343
00:13:15,329 --> 00:13:19,299
You're not the man we hired
to catch the goat kisser.
344
00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:22,169
[speaking Spanish]
There really is a goat kisser?
345
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,738
[crash, tires squealing]
346
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,307
[all coughing]
347
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,443
Punch it!
What are you waiting for?
348
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,744
A gun!
349
00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,614
♪ ♪
350
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,550
Oh, my God, a baby Browning?
351
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,152
Um, this will be great
if we need to bruise a sparrow.
352
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,687
Ray! You guys still there?
353
00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:43,423
Ray: Help me! Help me!
Get him off!
354
00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:45,592
My douchey combat boots!
355
00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:47,427
And also my leg!
356
00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:50,564
Oh, my God, this hippo game
is so much more fun in person!
357
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,667
Ah, we'll call you back!
358
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,669
Not that I care,
but do you have a plan?
359
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,271
Why are you asking her?
360
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:00,340
I created the diversion
that saved our asses!
361
00:14:00,374 --> 00:14:02,376
Ugh!
And double-knotted this rope!
362
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,178
Fine!
What's your great plan?
363
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:06,747
Turn!
[all shout]
364
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:11,351
Now's our chance,
while they're blind.
365
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:15,522
Oh, are those bananas?
366
00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,091
No, plantains again.
Ugh!
367
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,393
Hey, you think
you could maybe use
368
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:21,028
our only gun on a bad guy?
369
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,363
I could try, but I'm not sure
it would break the skin.
370
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,601
Close range doesn't count.
371
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:34,408
♪ ♪
372
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,777
Ray, crate secure.
We're en route to the compound.
373
00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:41,248
Okay. Obviously, far be it
for me to tell you
374
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:44,585
what your lived experience is
as a spider.
375
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:47,120
But what I would ask is--
376
00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,488
Aah!
377
00:14:48,522 --> 00:14:50,457
Oh, my, I heard Ray scream.
378
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,426
Is the jungle
still turning on him?
379
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,695
Wait. You're alone up there?
Where's Pam?
380
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,365
¿Qué pasa, homeys?
381
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,673
Great. These
382
00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,308
Thank you, Percy Fawcett.
383
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:11,545
And thank you for ruining
this entire mission.
384
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,013
How did I ruin the mission?
385
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:15,015
Ray's the leader,
and Cyril almost got us eaten.
386
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,185
Killed, not eaten.
Hippos are herbivores.
387
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,054
Ray may be in charge,
but you drove off without Pam
388
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:23,223
and led us to a guerrilla camp
and got Ray bitten.
389
00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,591
And I wouldn't be shocked
390
00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,326
if you're the reason
our plane crashed.
391
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,228
Why? Because I saw a piece
of the engine fall off
392
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,596
and didn't say anything?
393
00:15:29,630 --> 00:15:32,432
- Oh, my God!
- That is next-level lazy.
394
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:34,268
AKA,
path of least resistance.
395
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,538
AKA, careless because you
don't care about us, Archer.
396
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,706
And maybe you never did.
I don't know.
397
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:43,210
I think you just became a spy
to please your mother!
398
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,712
Too far?
399
00:15:45,746 --> 00:15:47,347
[grunting]
[glass breaking]
400
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,016
What are you doing now?
401
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,584
Proving a point
by getting in this truck
402
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,186
the hardest way possible, Lana,
403
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:56,089
then taking charge and getting
Pam back because I care!
404
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,558
Are we happy about this?
405
00:15:57,591 --> 00:15:59,459
I honestly do not know anymore.
406
00:15:59,493 --> 00:16:02,596
And by the way,
nothing pleased my mother!
407
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,565
Ray, any soldiers at the camp?
408
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,233
Ray:
No, they're gone.
409
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,268
But this place is magical.
410
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:11,071
They have plants, waterfalls,
411
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,007
a strangely powerful
sense of euphoria.
412
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,309
He sounds better.
413
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,211
Uh, that's just
the endorphins triggered
414
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:20,180
by the snake and spider venom
competing to ravage his system.
415
00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:23,050
If his kidneys had mouths,
they'd be screaming.
416
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,319
I thought maybe the venoms
would cancel each other out,
417
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,020
like how two negatives
make a positive.
418
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,455
Shut up and listen!
419
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,357
Lana blocked the road
with thoughtless carnage.
420
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,625
Hello?
I was saving us!
421
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,193
So find another way
422
00:16:33,227 --> 00:16:35,062
to meet us
at the compound to rescue Pam.
423
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,297
Roger.
We'll take that helicopter.
424
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,333
Krieger:
Uh, that's just rubble.
425
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,168
Wait, why are we
rescuing Pam?
426
00:16:42,736 --> 00:16:44,705
Sorry I punched you
in the balls.
427
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:47,441
In my defense, one of you
kicked me in the cooter.
428
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,010
So, you know,
a nut tap for a nut tap.
429
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,411
[chuckles]
430
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,414
So how long
till we get to the, uh--
431
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:57,284
Perfect 2/3 replica
of the Taj Mahal?
432
00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:00,053
I'd say "why," but the answer
is clearly "because."
433
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,556
Stop admiring the warlord!
434
00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,057
I bet the supplies
are in there.
435
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:06,760
Cyril:
And there's Pam!
436
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,162
Now, this next part
is a little tricky.
437
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,466
We hit "select"
so that it prints collated.
438
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,568
[telephone rings]
[sighs] Agent Gillette?
439
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,136
Uh, not speaking.
440
00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:18,305
Archer, where is
Agent Gillette?
441
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,575
- Well, he's either dead or--
- Nailing it!
442
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,310
God, I wish I could see this.
443
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,345
- You sure you're good to fly?
- Hell, yes.
444
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,713
I've got a hard-on
445
00:17:26,747 --> 00:17:29,283
like the thing
you fly the helicopter with.
446
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,218
Oh, yeah, that's actually
venom-induced priapism.
447
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,586
It's a sign of--
- Fun!
448
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,754
Is that dynamite?
449
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,455
I saw it first.
450
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,057
Also, we lost Pam.
451
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,359
Pam?
Oh, yes, Pam.
452
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,229
Oh, I'll miss her Pamness.
453
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,465
But if you're at the compound,
we can begin phase two.
454
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,034
Of how many phases?
455
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,269
Because at this rate,
phase three will just be me
456
00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:51,171
and the panther
that eats Cyril.
457
00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:53,540
Final phase--
retrieve the red suitcase
458
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:57,177
on medical pilot YKLJ-56.
459
00:17:57,211 --> 00:17:59,446
Wait, one suitcase?
460
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,715
I thought we were recovering
medical supplies.
461
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,351
And I thought the mission
would be over hours ago.
462
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,320
Find the suitcase,
and you will be extracted.
463
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,588
Ta-ta.
464
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,556
- Well, that was--
- Suspicious as hell?
465
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:11,058
Yeah! Are we really gonna--
466
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,060
Do the thing
that gets us extracted?
467
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,461
Yes, here's the plan.
468
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,330
You two head
for the warehouse.
469
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,099
Lana will retrieve
the suitcase.
470
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:22,569
Cyril will find the antivenom,
and then Lana will save Cyril.
471
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,338
Dang it.
472
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:27,174
Archer: Meanwhile, I'll murder
Serpiente and save Pam.
473
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,042
I've always wanted to storm
the Taj Mahal,
474
00:18:29,076 --> 00:18:32,045
and this is
at least 2/3 as good.
475
00:18:32,079 --> 00:18:33,180
Serpiente!
476
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,748
And sorry.
477
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,584
That seems like a pre-existing
craftsmanship issue.
478
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:39,186
You're late.
479
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,188
I'm rescuing you to prove
that I care about you
480
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,023
and didn't just become a spy
to impress my mother.
481
00:18:43,056 --> 00:18:45,025
I mean you're late
to kill Serpiente.
482
00:18:45,058 --> 00:18:47,694
His soldiers killed him months
ago for being a general dick.
483
00:18:47,728 --> 00:18:49,029
That was our nickname
for him!
484
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:50,364
And now they use his base
485
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,366
to distribute medicine
to the local population.
486
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,134
Also, they grow coffee!
487
00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:57,037
Coffee?
So no warlord or drugs?
488
00:18:57,070 --> 00:18:58,272
Wait, why'd they kidnap you?
489
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,707
I was too busy
punching peens to listen.
490
00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,676
But apparently they were--
What was it?
491
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,045
Defending ourselves.
Ay, caray.
492
00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,580
Yeah, amigos,
493
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,149
yeah, that should
make things easier, right?
494
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:12,219
Cheryl:
Dinamita!
495
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,755
So I can't feel my body!
496
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:17,724
Oh, that's a good sign
for the venom.
497
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:20,994
The Lord of Cinder
demands sacrifice!
498
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,566
- Ahh!
- I can hold it! I can hold it!
499
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,334
Oh, no, that's my penis.
500
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,570
[alarm blaring, loud crash]
501
00:19:31,205 --> 00:19:33,173
Nice landing, boss.
502
00:19:33,207 --> 00:19:37,211
Then demote me!
Just give me antivenom!
503
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:38,345
I'm looking!
I'm looking!
504
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,214
Oh, there are just
so many labels!
505
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,748
Stab me with everything!
506
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:44,585
- Oh, shit, we need a new plan.
- We have one.
507
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,323
[explosions]
508
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,058
Friendly fire, amigos.
509
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,292
Hello?
510
00:19:52,326 --> 00:19:53,760
Tell your soldiers
to cease fire.
511
00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:56,730
Oh, I would, but someone
blew up our radio tower.
512
00:19:56,763 --> 00:20:00,067
Oh, sarcasm--
that's very helpful right now.
513
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,202
Shit, I just did it, too.
Point taken.
514
00:20:02,236 --> 00:20:04,571
Uh, Archer, what about that?
515
00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,174
God, could the resistance
on this path get any worse?
516
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,675
Ray: Good news--
my erection is back.
517
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,445
- You had an erection?
- Oh, several.
518
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,447
Bad news--
we're out of dynamite.
519
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,582
[horn honks]
520
00:20:15,616 --> 00:20:18,752
[tires screeching]
521
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:22,055
Ha ha!
Taj my balls, bitches!
522
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:24,057
Lana, look,
a fully alive Pam,
523
00:20:24,091 --> 00:20:28,095
and I saved you and befriended
a tapir all in one mission,
524
00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:30,330
because, Lana, I care.
525
00:20:30,364 --> 00:20:33,333
Great. You're just in time
to get shot by the bad guys.
526
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,701
Well, technically,
they're the good guys
527
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,470
and this was
a huge miscommunication.
528
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,039
Look, it's the extract!
529
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,342
♪ ♪
530
00:20:42,376 --> 00:20:43,710
I'll lead the way.
531
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:47,314
♪ ♪
532
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,482
Thanks.
533
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:51,051
Got it.
I'll take it from here.
534
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,120
[grunts]
- Aah!
535
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:59,326
Stating the obvious, but, ow!
- What the shit?
536
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,629
Uh, maybe that wasn't
our IIA helicopter.
537
00:21:02,663 --> 00:21:04,464
[sat phone rings]
- Fabian?
538
00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:07,334
The helicopter
took the briefcase and not us.
539
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,269
If it's a weight issue,
we can leave Cyril.
540
00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,171
Fabian: Thank you
for the briefcase, Archer.
541
00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:14,441
I have continuing business
with Serpiente's successor.
542
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,176
Apologies for leaving
you there.
543
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,078
But you can't know
where it's going.
544
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,013
Damn it, Fabian!
545
00:21:20,047 --> 00:21:22,316
When I see you, I'm gonna shove
your ass so far up your ass,
546
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:24,184
you'll be upside down
and inside out!
547
00:21:24,218 --> 00:21:25,319
Fabian:
Enjoy the jungle.
548
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:28,055
I hear it's extra poisonous
in the fall.
549
00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:29,456
[receiver clatters]
Where were we?
550
00:21:29,489 --> 00:21:31,091
Oh, yes.
551
00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:36,630
♪ Happy, happy, happy first day
on the job ♪
552
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,065
[dial tone drones]
553
00:21:38,098 --> 00:21:40,434
man: Which one of you
is the leader?
554
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,336
Oh, buddy, don't open
that can of worms.
555
00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:45,272
[speaking Spanish]
556
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:51,411
- So can we get a ride?
- [squeals]
557
00:21:51,445 --> 00:21:54,147
Ryan!
You came to find me!
558
00:21:54,181 --> 00:21:56,483
Love truly is
the strongest compass.
559
00:21:56,517 --> 00:21:57,751
[squeals]
560
00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:00,320
[chuckles]
We know that tapir.
561
00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:01,522
[tapir squeals]
562
00:22:20,574 --> 00:22:23,443
Made in Georgia.