1 00:00:00,868 --> 00:00:04,037 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:10,410 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,212 - Plantain? 4 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,517 I don't care what it takes, 5 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,585 you are gonna get this plane in the air! 6 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:24,124 - Eh, it's not getting it in the air that I'm worried about. 7 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:26,627 - Listen to me, you backwater B. A. Baracus. 8 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,996 My tour group is on a deadline. 9 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,266 - And we're getting cranky! - [burps] And thirsty! 10 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,734 - And probably dengue fever. 11 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,103 - You want some help, boss? 12 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,071 - No, and not your boss, 13 00:00:38,105 --> 00:00:41,642 your guide on a scenic aerial jungle tour. 14 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,211 - Yeah, we get lots of tours that come through here 15 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,079 with giant bags of guns. 16 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:48,515 - You being smart with me? - No, señor. 17 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,617 I don't think you'd understand me if I did. 18 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,452 - Now, you listen good. 19 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:55,255 I don't know what tragic series of screw-ups 20 00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:58,258 in the bird shit on a dog shit you call a life 21 00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,994 led you to working in this tropical hellhole, 22 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,496 but trust me when I say 23 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,398 that if you don't find me a working plane, 24 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,500 I'll shove a propeller down your throat, 25 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,101 an engine up your ass, 26 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,170 and use you to fly my tour group! 27 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,206 - Okay, you take off in five. 28 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,473 - And that is called leadership. 29 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,641 - Is it? 30 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,210 - Felt more like a threat of sodomy. 31 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,278 - That's the title of my novel! 32 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:21,148 - Oh, relax. These old birds maintain themselves. 33 00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,716 They're indestructible. 34 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,523 Cheryl: I'm calling my travel agent--this is a bad tour. 35 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:31,024 - Not actually a tour. 36 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:34,194 Just a bad mission organized by a bad leader. 37 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,430 - You guys, Fabian chose Ray to lead us. 38 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,699 I say we respect that, and-- 39 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,402 [laughing] I couldn't finish, even as a joke. 40 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,104 You suck, dude. 41 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,707 - I'll--I'll admit that we're off to a rough start, 42 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,242 but if we stick together-- 43 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,443 - We'll die together? 44 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:50,677 - Archer, help me out. 45 00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,413 You've been in worse spots than this, right? 46 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,049 Archer? Archer? 47 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:57,417 - Oh, sorry. 48 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,052 I was deep in thought about what would happen 49 00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,021 if I took one of the thousands of piranhas 50 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:02,456 from the waters that now surround us 51 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,424 and shoved it down your esophagus. 52 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,593 And what would happen if I did the same thing 20 times 53 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,662 and then set you on fire? 54 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:14,535 - I mean, he'd probably die. 55 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:19,406 [main title theme] 56 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:26,380 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,710 - [grunting] 58 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,645 Cheese and rice! 59 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,414 That was the cheese and rice. 60 00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:02,549 - Salvage with your back. 61 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,785 - Ooh, if you see a very unstable bomb, that's mine. 62 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,787 - And feel free to help, Archer. 63 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,622 - [scoffs] I would, Ray, but not helping pays the same 64 00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:09,790 and doesn't require trying. 65 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,258 - What is your problem lately? 66 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:12,493 - In Mother's absence, 67 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,760 I realized I can do what I want, 68 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,128 e.g., nothing, 69 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,064 when I want, e. g., now, 70 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,066 because no one is the boss of me anymore, 71 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,300 e.g., I'm done talking. 72 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,270 - I am literally the boss of you. 73 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:26,006 - Bomb! No, wait, rock. 74 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,308 - Well, we're definitely on an island. 75 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,010 - And surrounded by piranhas. 76 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,311 - And possibly those hippos that escaped 77 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,746 from Pablo Escobar's zoo. 78 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,214 Good crash, Ray. 79 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:35,516 - I didn't choose this. 80 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,184 I was trying to stay on schedule 81 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,152 to impress Fabian with my leadership. 82 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,021 You don't know the pressure I'm under 83 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,289 to make mission quotas. 84 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,757 I--God damn it, woman! 85 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,026 Quit licking the toads! 86 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,262 - Ugh! Can we go to a different island? 87 00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,997 The frogs here are non-druggie. 88 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,266 - No. We dig in, wait for rescue. 89 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:54,434 - Yeah, we need to keep up our strength for the mission. 90 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:57,371 So, obviously, piranha barbecue. 91 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,673 - No! We need better frogs! 92 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,209 - No! We need to get back up river! 93 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,210 Cyril: No. Cheryl: No. 94 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,378 Pam: Yep. Archer: Yeah, sure. 95 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,380 Lana: No. - Everybody stop taking charge! 96 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,582 I'm already in charge, and I'm making a plan. 97 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,351 - For how to fill the power vacuum left by you sucking? 98 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,753 - For the mission-- 99 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,289 liberating a stash of stolen medical supplies 100 00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,991 from the warlord known only as Serpiente. 101 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:19,626 Ring a bell? - Oh, yeah. 102 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:21,395 We're still doing that? - Yes! 103 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,198 It's my only chance to maintain my leadership position. 104 00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:27,100 - Slash parking space. - Ooh, stakes. 105 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,536 - Look, we may have crashed and lost all our supplies. 106 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,004 - And guns. 107 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,340 - And a bomb that had sentimental value. 108 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:36,476 [sniffles] This was her detonator. 109 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,580 - But we can get resupplied once we contact Fabian. 110 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,149 Cheryl, where are we with the hand-crank sat phone. 111 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:45,619 - Uh, on an island? - I mean, did you crank it? 112 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,788 - A lady never tells. 113 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,090 - Why are you even here? 114 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,426 - [sighs] It was the best of my bad options. 115 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,229 - Lord of Cinders, 116 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,232 command me! 117 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,134 - Forgot my keys when I left two minutes ago. 118 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,036 - Oh, they're on the printer. 119 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:07,441 FYI, the Lord of Cinders is always looking for new candles. 120 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,142 - Uh, good to know. 121 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,777 - Margo? 122 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,713 Explode if you're close! 123 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,115 - Krieger, stop trying to detonate a missing bomb 124 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,450 before you kill us. 125 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,785 - Uh-oh, someone's mad they're not in charge. 126 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,121 - No. I accept Fabian's decision. 127 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,589 I'm choosing to be good at my job 128 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,191 and let positive things come. 129 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,626 - Like Ray getting more chances 130 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,728 to kill us with his arrogance and incompetence? 131 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,196 - "Incobegence"! 132 00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,430 - Okay, it's charged. [line trilling] 133 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:31,431 Everybody shut up. 134 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,333 - And this is your desk. 135 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,069 If you need anything, I'm right in there. 136 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:38,572 Oh, and if a rival agency attacks, 137 00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,674 your chair is bulletproof. 138 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,442 Agent Gillette, status report. 139 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,478 Ray: Tiny hiccup. 140 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,446 We, uh, need an extraction. 141 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,282 - Agent error, I presume. 142 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:49,316 Archer: Hi, Fabian. 143 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,751 Specifically lead agent error. 144 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,286 - Quit it! 145 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:55,189 Look, Fabian, I-I-I know it's a poor carpenter 146 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,290 who blames his tools, 147 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,558 but I have got a team 148 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,993 of some real, real shit hammers down here. 149 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,196 - And a helicopter extraction 150 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,364 would alert Serpiente to your presence, 151 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,333 compromising the entire mission. 152 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,435 [sighs] The best I can do is a supply drop 153 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:11,004 with local pilots at your expense. 154 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,040 You can pick it up five miles downriver, 155 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,541 and it's another five to the compound. 156 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,376 So tally-ho. 157 00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,278 - Tally how? We're stranded on an island 158 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:20,047 in the middle of the Amazon, you doof! 159 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,683 Fabian: Perhaps you've heard of a new invention. 160 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,751 It holds people and floats on water. 161 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,020 - [gasps] Ice! - He means boats. 162 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,755 - Ice can be boats. Ask Jeffrey Pike. 163 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,624 Fabian: Call again when you're outside the compound 164 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,992 for further instructions. 165 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,327 Now, where were we? 166 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,529 - God, you're like if syphilis was a person. 167 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,297 [line clicks, beeps] Hello? Damn it! 168 00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,665 I don't think he heard that. Ray, call him back. 169 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,400 - This mission doesn't make any damn sense. 170 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,635 How are we gonna extract 171 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:44,238 these supposed medical supplies anyway? 172 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,073 - Well, we can start by building a raft 173 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,508 Huck Finn style, 174 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,176 but without all the, you know-- 175 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,778 - Analysis of the hypocrisy of civilized society? 176 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,515 - Archer, what are you doing? - My own thing, Lana. 177 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,383 Call me when we're leaving the island. 178 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,728 You know, I'm unarmed 179 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,198 and thus more likely to instantly kill... 180 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:14,168 anyone who tries to hurt my new best friend! 181 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,203 - [squeals] - I shall call you-- 182 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,438 - Finished! - Are we? 183 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,673 - You made a death trap 184 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,575 out of pieces of a previous death trap? 185 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,143 - [squeals] - Oh, sorry. 186 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:25,179 Everyone, this is Ryan. 187 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,047 - [squeals] - Charmed, I'm sure. 188 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,449 - You're really gonna go this entire mission without helping? 189 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,351 - I'm just embracing my new philosophy 190 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,153 of doing what I want when I want. 191 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,422 - Ugh, isn't that what you always do? 192 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,391 - Yes, but now I'm, you know, really leaning in. 193 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,592 - [squeals] 194 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,761 - Sorry, we're really leaning in. 195 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,163 But not on that raft. It's a death trap. 196 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:46,333 - Enough! It's a great raft! And you want to know why? 197 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:48,001 - Because only half of it is sinking? 198 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,470 - Because we made it as a team. 199 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,506 Teamwork is getting us off this island. 200 00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,174 There's a famous saying-- 201 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,176 "If you want to go fast, go alone. 202 00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,378 But if you want to go far--" 203 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,247 - Ryan! No! - [squealing] 204 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,416 - [hissing] 205 00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:06,420 - Good news-- I checked, and we have room 206 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,089 in the budget for an extract with the whisper copter. 207 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,624 - Susan, if we help them now, 208 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,993 they'll never learn to walk on their own. 209 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,361 But I love your initiative. 210 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:17,097 You're now my executive assistant. 211 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,399 The position comes with a shotgun. 212 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,068 Cyril: What are you saying? 213 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,403 [Ray speaking indistinctly] 214 00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:27,741 - Oh, he said, "Sacrifice through flame brings purity." 215 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:30,444 - If you keep struggling, I'm done sucking out the venom. 216 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:33,113 - Okeydoke, we need a new mission leader. 217 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,582 - [sighs] Pass. I'm still thinking about Ryan. 218 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,783 - I meant me. 219 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,352 - Or I could take a whack at it. 220 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,120 - [chuckles] And why would you lead? 221 00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:42,256 - Why not? I'm the same rank as you and Archer, 222 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,725 and I'm literally saving Ray's life as we speak. 223 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,460 Ray: Aah! 224 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,128 - Oh, okay. 225 00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,696 Ray says, "Not fast enough," 226 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,598 and that as Miss Archer's assistant, 227 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,333 I'm already de facto leader, 228 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,202 depending on what "de facto" means. 229 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,237 [gunshot] 230 00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:01,175 - It shall be I who leads. [Archer and Lana laugh] 231 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,676 - Where did you get a flare gun? 232 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,111 - I found it in the wreckage. 233 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,412 - And you wasted it 234 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,214 on a gesture highlighting your impotence. 235 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,183 - Highlighting my lack of impotence! 236 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,551 - He quavered. 237 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:13,453 - Also, flares attract hippos! - No, they don't. 238 00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:15,556 - Oh, then she's just a coincidence. 239 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,325 Lana: Oh! Jesus Christ! 240 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,260 - Goddamn! Escobar breeds a good hippo. 241 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,428 - It's sinking the raft! 242 00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:23,730 - What's that beeping? [device beeping] 243 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,499 - Margo, you came back to me! 244 00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:28,435 - This reunion's going out with a bang! Ugh! 245 00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,071 Krieger: No! Margo! 246 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,643 - Look! - Yes! The supply drop! 247 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:38,212 - What? No. 248 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,647 That cloud--it looks like a centaur choking me. 249 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,388 - Solid leadership, Ray. 250 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,157 Ray? 251 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,658 - Yeah. Ray's dead. 252 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,527 - [muffled] What? No. 253 00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,733 - Okay, people, let's move out, 254 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,568 starting with moving me. 255 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,036 - We've got to hurry. 256 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,705 Someone else could have seen the supply drop. 257 00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,740 - I could lead a team ahead. - And straight into quicksand? 258 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,709 - At least I am trying to lead. 259 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,111 - Hey, I'm still leading this mission! 260 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,248 Now, make me a stretcher and a fan out of palm fronds. 261 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,582 My skin is on fire. 262 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,018 - We are not carrying you like a king. 263 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,720 - Or burying you like one. 264 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,089 If you die, let's be honest, it's a shallow river grave. 265 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,657 - I'd love that for you. 266 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:26,093 - I'll be fine! Right, Krieger? 267 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,528 - Eh... 268 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,296 - So I sucked poison out of his face for nothing? 269 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,497 - It's still a fun story. 270 00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,065 But if Ray doesn't get antivenom soon, 271 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,600 there could be permanent consequences. 272 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,069 - What, like, my face will stay like this? 273 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,505 - Yes, because you'll be dead. Lana: Ugh. 274 00:10:38,539 --> 00:10:40,274 Okay, I'm taking command. 275 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,441 Cheryl. - Present! 276 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,010 - You stay with Ray and Krieger. 277 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,511 The rest of us will head for the drop, 278 00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:46,180 then push on to find the medical supplies 279 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,147 and ideally antivenom. 280 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:48,615 - Here, crank this 281 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,517 to take your mind off how you screwed the mission. 282 00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:53,187 - I got bit tripping over your stupid tapir! 283 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,355 - A tapir, not my tapir! 284 00:10:55,389 --> 00:10:58,258 You can't own something that majestic! 285 00:10:58,292 --> 00:11:01,261 [dramatic music] 286 00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:02,496 ♪ ♪ 287 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,065 - Ah! Ow. 288 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,201 - [laughs] FYI, Cyril, this jungle has trees. 289 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,069 - You released the branch in my face. 290 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,771 - As a teaching moment. You're welcome. 291 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,140 - Jungle physics 101! 292 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,343 - Can we not shout so much on this covert jungle mission? 293 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,612 - Guys, guys, guys! I found a footpath! 294 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,148 - No, I don't like it. It's too exposed. 295 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,749 - Counterpoint--it's easier. 296 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:26,153 - So you literally want to take the path of least resistance? 297 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,454 - It's famous for a reason. 298 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,056 - Oh, we should put it to a vote, 299 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,391 since, you know, we are all equals here. 300 00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:33,293 - Counterpoint. 301 00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,195 - And the nays have it. 302 00:11:35,229 --> 00:11:37,197 - [scoffs] Damn. 303 00:11:37,231 --> 00:11:39,099 - Why is the person in charge, 304 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,568 who also happens to be snake-bit, 305 00:11:41,602 --> 00:11:43,170 turning the damn crank? 306 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,138 - Come on! It'll get your blood flowing. 307 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,607 Ooh, actually, that's really bad. 308 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,642 Cheryl: Good news-- - The others are back? 309 00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:51,078 - No, I'm done with your shallow grave. 310 00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,513 I made it extra shallow. 311 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,182 - You know, I didn't ask to lead this agency. 312 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,151 I just worked hard, stabbed a couple backs, 313 00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,354 and when the position was offered to me, I said, 314 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,090 "Ray, take a risk. Try something new." 315 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,325 - I say that in my lab all the time. 316 00:12:05,359 --> 00:12:07,327 Cheryl: I have a jungle question. 317 00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:09,563 What do you do if rocks are getting closer? 318 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,064 Archer: Uh, wait for them to leave. 319 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,267 Lana: That's your plan? Ray is dying! 320 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,302 Archer: Well, they have guns, and we have Cyril, 321 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,237 who is, like, the opposite of a gun. 322 00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:18,472 - If we'd stuck to the jungle, 323 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,274 we would have missed them completely. 324 00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:21,742 - Don't blame the path of least resistance for this. 325 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,410 - I'm blaming you! 326 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,445 - Ooh, I've got an idea. - Guys, look. 327 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,114 Archer: Guys with guns are leaving? 328 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,249 Thank you, path of least resistance. 329 00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:31,585 - They're going for our supply drop, dummy, 330 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,320 which means they'll have more guns! 331 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,556 - Hello? Lady with an idea here. 332 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:38,125 - Well, yeah, there'll be some resistance later. 333 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,460 - Okay, I'm just doing it. - Ah. 334 00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:41,762 - If I could just get to that jeep... 335 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,730 - Then you can get shot hot-wiring it? 336 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:46,466 [Pam speaking Spanish] 337 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,072 - Oh, man, you didn't say that was part of it. 338 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,008 [speaking Spanish] 339 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:58,779 - Damn, you think you know a guy. 340 00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,747 - And then all of your suspicions are confirmed. 341 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,349 Now's our chance. 342 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:05,285 - Gracias... [speaking Spanish] 343 00:13:05,319 --> 00:13:09,289 You're not the man we hired to catch the goat kisser. 344 00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:12,159 - [speaking Spanish] There really is a goat kisser? 345 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,728 [crash, tires squealing] 346 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,297 [all coughing] 347 00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:19,433 - Punch it! What are you waiting for? 348 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,734 - A gun! 349 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,604 ♪ ♪ 350 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:26,540 - Oh, my God, a baby Browning? 351 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,142 Um, this will be great if we need to bruise a sparrow. 352 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,677 - Ray! You guys still there? 353 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,413 Ray: Help me! Help me! Get him off! 354 00:13:33,447 --> 00:13:35,582 My douchey combat boots! 355 00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:37,417 And also my leg! 356 00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:40,554 - Oh, my God, this hippo game is so much more fun in person! 357 00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:43,657 - Ah, we'll call you back! 358 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,659 - Not that I care, but do you have a plan? 359 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,261 - Why are you asking her? 360 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,330 I created the diversion that saved our asses! 361 00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:52,366 - Ugh! And double-knotted this rope! 362 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,168 - Fine! What's your great plan? 363 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:56,737 - Turn! [all shout] 364 00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,341 - Now's our chance, while they're blind. 365 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:05,512 - Oh, are those bananas? 366 00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:08,081 No, plantains again. Ugh! 367 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,383 - Hey, you think you could maybe use 368 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,018 our only gun on a bad guy? 369 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,353 - I could try, but I'm not sure it would break the skin. 370 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,591 Close range doesn't count. 371 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:24,398 ♪ ♪ 372 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,767 - Ray, crate secure. We're en route to the compound. 373 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:31,238 - Okay. Obviously, far be it for me to tell you 374 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,575 what your lived experience is as a spider. 375 00:14:34,608 --> 00:14:37,110 But what I would ask is-- 376 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:38,478 Aah! 377 00:14:38,512 --> 00:14:40,447 - Oh, my, I heard Ray scream. 378 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,416 Is the jungle still turning on him? 379 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,685 - Wait. You're alone up there? Where's Pam? 380 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,355 - ¿Qué pasa, homeys? 381 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,663 - Great. These 382 00:14:56,697 --> 00:14:58,298 - Thank you, Percy Fawcett. 383 00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:01,535 - And thank you for ruining this entire mission. 384 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,003 - How did I ruin the mission? 385 00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,005 Ray's the leader, and Cyril almost got us eaten. 386 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:08,175 - Killed, not eaten. Hippos are herbivores. 387 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,044 - Ray may be in charge, but you drove off without Pam 388 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,213 and led us to a guerrilla camp and got Ray bitten. 389 00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:14,581 And I wouldn't be shocked 390 00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:16,316 if you're the reason our plane crashed. 391 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,218 - Why? Because I saw a piece of the engine fall off 392 00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:19,586 and didn't say anything? 393 00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:22,422 - Oh, my God! - That is next-level lazy. 394 00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:24,258 - AKA, path of least resistance. 395 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:27,528 - AKA, careless because you don't care about us, Archer. 396 00:15:27,561 --> 00:15:29,696 And maybe you never did. I don't know. 397 00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:33,200 I think you just became a spy to please your mother! 398 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,702 - Too far? 399 00:15:35,736 --> 00:15:37,337 [grunting] [glass breaking] 400 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,006 - What are you doing now? 401 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,574 - Proving a point by getting in this truck 402 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,176 the hardest way possible, Lana, 403 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:46,079 then taking charge and getting Pam back because I care! 404 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,548 - Are we happy about this? 405 00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:49,449 - I honestly do not know anymore. 406 00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:52,586 - And by the way, nothing pleased my mother! 407 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,555 Ray, any soldiers at the camp? 408 00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:56,223 Ray: No, they're gone. 409 00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,258 But this place is magical. 410 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:01,061 They have plants, waterfalls, 411 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:03,997 a strangely powerful sense of euphoria. 412 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,299 - He sounds better. 413 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,201 - Uh, that's just the endorphins triggered 414 00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:10,170 by the snake and spider venom competing to ravage his system. 415 00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:13,040 If his kidneys had mouths, they'd be screaming. 416 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,309 - I thought maybe the venoms would cancel each other out, 417 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,010 like how two negatives make a positive. 418 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,445 - Shut up and listen! 419 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,347 Lana blocked the road with thoughtless carnage. 420 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,615 - Hello? I was saving us! 421 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,183 - So find another way 422 00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:25,052 to meet us at the compound to rescue Pam. 423 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,287 - Roger. We'll take that helicopter. 424 00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:29,323 Krieger: Uh, that's just rubble. 425 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,158 - Wait, why are we rescuing Pam? 426 00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:34,695 - Sorry I punched you in the balls. 427 00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:37,431 In my defense, one of you kicked me in the cooter. 428 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:40,000 So, you know, a nut tap for a nut tap. 429 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,401 [chuckles] 430 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,404 So how long till we get to the, uh-- 431 00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,274 - Perfect 2/3 replica of the Taj Mahal? 432 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,043 I'd say "why," but the answer is clearly "because." 433 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,546 - Stop admiring the warlord! 434 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,047 I bet the supplies are in there. 435 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,750 Cyril: And there's Pam! 436 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,152 - Now, this next part is a little tricky. 437 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,456 We hit "select" so that it prints collated. 438 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,558 [telephone rings] [sighs] Agent Gillette? 439 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,126 - Uh, not speaking. 440 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,295 - Archer, where is Agent Gillette? 441 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,565 - Well, he's either dead or-- - Nailing it! 442 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,300 God, I wish I could see this. 443 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,335 - You sure you're good to fly? - Hell, yes. 444 00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:16,703 I've got a hard-on 445 00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:19,273 like the thing you fly the helicopter with. 446 00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:21,208 - Oh, yeah, that's actually venom-induced priapism. 447 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,576 It's a sign of-- - Fun! 448 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:23,744 - Is that dynamite? 449 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,445 - I saw it first. 450 00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,047 - Also, we lost Pam. 451 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,349 - Pam? Oh, yes, Pam. 452 00:17:29,383 --> 00:17:32,219 Oh, I'll miss her Pamness. 453 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,455 But if you're at the compound, we can begin phase two. 454 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,024 - Of how many phases? 455 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,259 Because at this rate, phase three will just be me 456 00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,161 and the panther that eats Cyril. 457 00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:43,530 - Final phase-- retrieve the red suitcase 458 00:17:43,564 --> 00:17:47,167 on medical pilot YKLJ-56. 459 00:17:47,201 --> 00:17:49,436 - Wait, one suitcase? 460 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,705 I thought we were recovering medical supplies. 461 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,341 - And I thought the mission would be over hours ago. 462 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,310 Find the suitcase, and you will be extracted. 463 00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,578 Ta-ta. 464 00:17:57,611 --> 00:17:59,546 - Well, that was-- - Suspicious as hell? 465 00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,048 Yeah! Are we really gonna-- 466 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,050 - Do the thing that gets us extracted? 467 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,451 Yes, here's the plan. 468 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,320 You two head for the warehouse. 469 00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:09,089 Lana will retrieve the suitcase. 470 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:12,559 Cyril will find the antivenom, and then Lana will save Cyril. 471 00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,328 - Dang it. 472 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:17,164 Archer: Meanwhile, I'll murder Serpiente and save Pam. 473 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,032 I've always wanted to storm the Taj Mahal, 474 00:18:19,066 --> 00:18:22,035 and this is at least 2/3 as good. 475 00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:23,170 Serpiente! 476 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,738 And sorry. 477 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,574 That seems like a pre-existing craftsmanship issue. 478 00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:29,176 - You're late. 479 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,178 - I'm rescuing you to prove that I care about you 480 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,013 and didn't just become a spy to impress my mother. 481 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:35,015 - I mean you're late to kill Serpiente. 482 00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:37,684 His soldiers killed him months ago for being a general dick. 483 00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:39,019 - That was our nickname for him! 484 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,354 - And now they use his base 485 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,356 to distribute medicine to the local population. 486 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,124 Also, they grow coffee! 487 00:18:44,158 --> 00:18:47,027 - Coffee? So no warlord or drugs? 488 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,262 Wait, why'd they kidnap you? 489 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,697 - I was too busy punching peens to listen. 490 00:18:50,731 --> 00:18:52,666 But apparently they were-- What was it? 491 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,035 - Defending ourselves. Ay, caray. 492 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:56,570 - Yeah, amigos, 493 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,139 yeah, that should make things easier, right? 494 00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,209 Cheryl: Dinamita! 495 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,745 - So I can't feel my body! 496 00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:07,714 - Oh, that's a good sign for the venom. 497 00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:10,984 - The Lord of Cinder demands sacrifice! 498 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,556 - Ahh! - I can hold it! I can hold it! 499 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,324 Oh, no, that's my penis. 500 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,560 [alarm blaring, loud crash] 501 00:19:21,195 --> 00:19:23,163 - Nice landing, boss. 502 00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:27,201 - Then demote me! Just give me antivenom! 503 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,335 - I'm looking! I'm looking! 504 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,204 Oh, there are just so many labels! 505 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,738 - Stab me with everything! 506 00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,575 - Oh, shit, we need a new plan. - We have one. 507 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,313 [explosions] 508 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,048 - Friendly fire, amigos. 509 00:19:41,081 --> 00:19:42,282 Hello? 510 00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:43,750 Tell your soldiers to cease fire. 511 00:19:43,784 --> 00:19:46,720 - Oh, I would, but someone blew up our radio tower. 512 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,057 - Oh, sarcasm-- that's very helpful right now. 513 00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,192 Shit, I just did it, too. Point taken. 514 00:19:52,226 --> 00:19:54,561 - Uh, Archer, what about that? 515 00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:57,164 - God, could the resistance on this path get any worse? 516 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,665 Ray: Good news-- my erection is back. 517 00:19:58,699 --> 00:20:01,435 - You had an erection? - Oh, several. 518 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,437 - Bad news-- we're out of dynamite. 519 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,572 [horn honks] 520 00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:08,742 [tires screeching] 521 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:12,045 - Ha ha! Taj my balls, bitches! 522 00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:14,047 - Lana, look, a fully alive Pam, 523 00:20:14,081 --> 00:20:18,085 and I saved you and befriended a tapir all in one mission, 524 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:20,320 because, Lana, I care. 525 00:20:20,354 --> 00:20:23,323 - Great. You're just in time to get shot by the bad guys. 526 00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:24,691 - Well, technically, they're the good guys 527 00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,460 and this was a huge miscommunication. 528 00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:29,029 - Look, it's the extract! 529 00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:32,332 ♪ ♪ 530 00:20:32,366 --> 00:20:33,700 - I'll lead the way. 531 00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:37,304 ♪ ♪ 532 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,472 - Thanks. 533 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:41,041 Got it. I'll take it from here. 534 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:43,110 [grunts] - Aah! 535 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,316 Stating the obvious, but, ow! - What the shit? 536 00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:52,619 - Uh, maybe that wasn't our IIA helicopter. 537 00:20:52,653 --> 00:20:54,454 [sat phone rings] - Fabian? 538 00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:57,324 The helicopter took the briefcase and not us. 539 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,259 - If it's a weight issue, we can leave Cyril. 540 00:20:59,293 --> 00:21:01,161 Fabian: Thank you for the briefcase, Archer. 541 00:21:01,195 --> 00:21:04,431 I have continuing business with Serpiente's successor. 542 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:06,166 Apologies for leaving you there. 543 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,068 But you can't know where it's going. 544 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,003 - Damn it, Fabian! 545 00:21:10,037 --> 00:21:12,306 When I see you, I'm gonna shove your ass so far up your ass, 546 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,174 you'll be upside down and inside out! 547 00:21:14,208 --> 00:21:15,309 Fabian: Enjoy the jungle. 548 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:18,045 I hear it's extra poisonous in the fall. 549 00:21:18,078 --> 00:21:19,446 [receiver clatters] Where were we? 550 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:21,081 Oh, yes. 551 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,717 ♪ Happy, happy, happy first day on the job ♪ 552 00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:26,620 ♪ Happy, happy, happy first day on the job ♪ 553 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,055 [dial tone drones] 554 00:21:28,088 --> 00:21:30,424 man: Which one of you is the leader? 555 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,326 - Oh, buddy, don't open that can of worms. 556 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,262 - [speaking Spanish] 557 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:41,401 - So can we get a ride? - [squeals] 558 00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:44,137 Ryan! You came to find me! 559 00:21:44,171 --> 00:21:46,473 Love truly is the strongest compass. 560 00:21:46,507 --> 00:21:47,741 - [squeals] 561 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,310 - [chuckles] We know that tapir. 562 00:21:50,344 --> 00:21:51,512 [tapir squeals] 563 00:22:10,564 --> 00:22:13,433 - Made in Georgia.