1 00:00:01,847 --> 00:00:04,151 Lana: But it's Saturday. 2 00:00:04,185 --> 00:00:05,522 Fabian: [gasps] It is? 3 00:00:05,555 --> 00:00:07,291 Then I'll ask all the terrorists 4 00:00:07,324 --> 00:00:08,728 who threaten to destroy our world 5 00:00:08,761 --> 00:00:10,230 to take the day off. 6 00:00:10,264 --> 00:00:13,470 - I just mean I had plans to spend the day with AJ. 7 00:00:13,504 --> 00:00:15,173 Fabian: And AJ is? 8 00:00:15,207 --> 00:00:17,646 - My daughter. Fabian: Ah, children. 9 00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:19,716 The time goes so fast, 10 00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,687 but we're all making sacrifices. 11 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,624 [glass clinking] Excuse me, waiter? 12 00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:25,294 More champagne in the next one. 13 00:00:29,503 --> 00:00:32,141 - Calling you on a Saturday. 14 00:00:32,174 --> 00:00:34,278 It's a simple pickup. An hour max. 15 00:00:34,312 --> 00:00:36,784 Especially with-- - No, no, no. 16 00:00:36,817 --> 00:00:38,420 Please don't say it. 17 00:00:38,453 --> 00:00:40,123 Fabian: Agent Archer as backup. 18 00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:42,394 - Archer on a Saturday? 19 00:00:42,428 --> 00:00:44,465 As in the day after Friday night? 20 00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:46,169 Fabian: I don't see the problem. 21 00:00:46,202 --> 00:00:48,741 - [chuckles] Obviously. Have you talked to him yet? 22 00:00:48,774 --> 00:00:50,244 - No, actually. 23 00:00:50,277 --> 00:00:52,248 He hasn't picked up the phone for some reason. 24 00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:55,220 - Oh, yeah, "for some reason." 25 00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:56,489 [cool jazz music] 26 00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,293 [phone buzzes] 27 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:04,539 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:04,573 --> 00:01:07,712 [clears throat] Hey, Archer. 29 00:01:07,746 --> 00:01:09,683 - No. 30 00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,722 [main title theme] 31 00:01:12,756 --> 00:01:19,703 ♪ ♪ 32 00:01:49,261 --> 00:01:50,531 Archer: Yes, a shower was necessary, Lana. 33 00:01:50,565 --> 00:01:52,836 It was a night of many fluids. 34 00:01:52,869 --> 00:01:55,708 - First of all, gross. Archer: It really was. 35 00:01:55,742 --> 00:01:57,812 - Second of all, hurry up. 36 00:01:57,846 --> 00:01:59,850 I had a whole special day planned with AJ. 37 00:01:59,883 --> 00:02:01,820 Coney Island, a fancy tea place. 38 00:02:01,854 --> 00:02:04,425 Archer: Moist yet firm skin doesn't just happen, Lana. 39 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,262 I'm on step two of ten. 40 00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:07,832 Hey, do you see a pumice stone out there? 41 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,170 - Fabian wants us to pick up a negotiation specialist. 42 00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:11,540 Codename: The Broker. 43 00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:12,842 He's worked with all the major players; 44 00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:15,280 Mafia, Yakuza, dictators, dirty cops. 45 00:02:15,314 --> 00:02:16,650 - [gasps] Cops! 46 00:02:16,684 --> 00:02:18,587 There was something with police last night. 47 00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:19,923 [rock music] 48 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,662 Whoo-hoo! Police horse! [siren wailing] 49 00:02:22,696 --> 00:02:25,434 [horse whinnies] 50 00:02:26,302 --> 00:02:28,440 - Yeah, there's no way that happened. 51 00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:30,444 Archer: Then explain these lance callouses. 52 00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:33,617 - Anyway, the Broker's a longtime go-between 53 00:02:33,651 --> 00:02:35,454 for criminal groups, which means he has intel 54 00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:37,391 on all of them. But now he's retiring, 55 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,863 so they all want to torture him for info and then kill him, 56 00:02:39,896 --> 00:02:42,434 which means your shower routine could cost a man his life 57 00:02:42,468 --> 00:02:44,573 and me my day with AJ. 58 00:02:44,606 --> 00:02:45,875 Hello? 59 00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:48,279 Archer: [muffled] Sorry, step five is a face wash. 60 00:02:48,313 --> 00:02:50,217 - Let's skip to step ten. [toilet flushes] 61 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:53,189 [Archer yells] 62 00:02:53,223 --> 00:02:54,726 It's not a big deal, Robert. 63 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,231 Just take AJ to the office instead of my place. 64 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:59,636 Robert: It's not about the physical distance, Lana. 65 00:02:59,669 --> 00:03:02,341 It's the emotional distance from you working 66 00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:03,511 instead of spending time with AJ. 67 00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:04,780 - I'm not working. 68 00:03:04,813 --> 00:03:07,451 I just wanna show AJ where Mommy works. 69 00:03:07,484 --> 00:03:08,921 - Depressing even if true. 70 00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,525 - Shut up. Robert: Is that Archer? 71 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,361 - No, it's-- - Hey, Robert. 72 00:03:12,394 --> 00:03:13,363 Robert: I wanna remind you, 73 00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,200 these are formative years for AJ. 74 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:16,704 One day you'll look back and wish-- 75 00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:18,507 - That you didn't tell me how to parent? 76 00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:19,710 I agree. [phone beeps] 77 00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:21,647 - So since you are working-- 78 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,349 love the lying to Robert, by the way-- 79 00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:24,786 who exactly is taking care of AJ? 80 00:03:24,820 --> 00:03:26,355 - Seriously? 81 00:03:26,389 --> 00:03:27,926 Lana: Yeah, Pam, I'm really sorry. I-- 82 00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:29,896 - No, I mean, this is amazing. 83 00:03:29,930 --> 00:03:32,535 Aunt Pam is gonna plan so many great activities. 84 00:03:32,569 --> 00:03:35,808 Not to go all Ms. Frizzle, but I might steal a bus. 85 00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:38,346 Lana: Just be at the office in 15 minutes, okay? 86 00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:40,651 And one other thing... 87 00:03:40,685 --> 00:03:43,491 - Hello, Pam. Where is-- - Lana's upstairs. 88 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,928 She just sent me down to get AJ to bring her upstairs 89 00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:48,601 to Lana, who we've established is upstairs. 90 00:03:48,634 --> 00:03:50,605 - And she can't come down because... 91 00:03:50,638 --> 00:03:52,274 - She... 92 00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:53,944 got her period. - Oh. 93 00:03:53,978 --> 00:03:55,782 That's a few days early for her, 94 00:03:55,815 --> 00:03:57,886 so I guess she would be unprepared. 95 00:03:57,919 --> 00:04:00,390 - AJ, you ready to come along with Aunt Pammy? 96 00:04:00,424 --> 00:04:01,827 - No, I don't want to call you that. 97 00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:03,430 - We've been working on boundaries. 98 00:04:03,463 --> 00:04:04,833 - Oh, that's okay. 99 00:04:04,866 --> 00:04:06,837 I'll just have to earn it 100 00:04:06,870 --> 00:04:09,041 with activities! 101 00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:11,279 - Activities with Lana? 102 00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:12,515 - Sure. 103 00:04:12,549 --> 00:04:14,385 Lana: All right, there's the Broker. 104 00:04:14,418 --> 00:04:16,723 But Fabian says he's paranoid, so don't spook him or-- 105 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,894 - Hey, Broker! Broker, over here. 106 00:04:18,928 --> 00:04:20,832 - [sighs] Damn it, Archer. 107 00:04:20,865 --> 00:04:23,369 - I'm too hungover for subterfuge, Lana. 108 00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:25,775 Uh, are you Broker, or possibly "the Broker"? 109 00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,512 - Depends on who's asking. 110 00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:28,948 - Vagueness, that's fun. 111 00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:31,452 - Hi. Look, we're here on orders from Fabian. 112 00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:34,793 - Orders? Someone has the two of you working on a Saturday? 113 00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:37,532 How awful! - Ugh, do not get me started. 114 00:04:37,565 --> 00:04:39,335 I had a whole day planned with my daughter. 115 00:04:39,368 --> 00:04:40,838 - And I planned last night around a day 116 00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:43,476 that would let me lay passed out near, but not in, 117 00:04:43,511 --> 00:04:45,413 a pool of vomit. - Oh, how dreadful! 118 00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:47,084 My sympathies to the both of you. 119 00:04:47,117 --> 00:04:48,821 - Oh, it's okay. I just-- 120 00:04:48,854 --> 00:04:50,491 wait, how did we get on this? 121 00:04:50,525 --> 00:04:51,860 Fabian wants us to take you in. 122 00:04:51,894 --> 00:04:53,731 - Oh, Fabian sent you. 123 00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:55,601 Oh, my apologies. 124 00:04:55,635 --> 00:04:57,304 You see, as a negotiator, 125 00:04:57,337 --> 00:04:59,008 I often get people to talk about themselves 126 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:01,412 as a distraction if I need an easy escape. 127 00:05:01,445 --> 00:05:03,551 I call it "instant intimacy." [chuckles] 128 00:05:03,584 --> 00:05:06,355 - Wait, so you weren't actually sympathizing with me? 129 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,625 - Oh, no, with you, it was real. 130 00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:09,496 But there are a lot of people after me. 131 00:05:09,529 --> 00:05:10,765 Can't be too careful. 132 00:05:10,798 --> 00:05:13,838 Speaking of, Fabian and I had a code word. 133 00:05:13,871 --> 00:05:16,610 - Code word? Uh, one moment. 134 00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:19,048 [phone buzzing] 135 00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:20,751 [light music playing] - Ooh. 136 00:05:20,785 --> 00:05:23,489 [phone buzzing] 137 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,427 - Might be hard to get that info. 138 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:26,697 - I have a code phrase. 139 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,634 "This was a one-hour job, and I have a gun." 140 00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:31,640 - Archer! But, yeah, sorry. We are in a rush. 141 00:05:31,673 --> 00:05:33,978 Do you have kids? - Ah, flashbang! 142 00:05:34,011 --> 00:05:35,748 [Lana and Archer groaning] Lana: Damn it. 143 00:05:35,781 --> 00:05:38,353 He got away. - [coughs] Like I give a shit. 144 00:05:38,386 --> 00:05:41,392 What's my one rule? - [sighs] No more flashbangs. 145 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,363 - No more flashbangs. 146 00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:45,000 My otolaryngologist already said 147 00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:46,637 I'll be lucky if I'm not deaf by 50. 148 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,674 - There! He's going for the platform. 149 00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:51,412 [exciting music] 150 00:05:51,445 --> 00:05:52,815 biker: What the hell? 151 00:05:52,849 --> 00:05:54,418 - Hey, pal, I'm the one who should be mad. 152 00:05:54,451 --> 00:05:55,655 This is a shit bike. 153 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,892 [engine rumbling] 154 00:05:57,926 --> 00:06:05,073 ♪ ♪ 155 00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:08,681 Jesus, shouldn't these be motorcycle accessible by now? 156 00:06:08,714 --> 00:06:13,524 ♪ ♪ 157 00:06:13,557 --> 00:06:14,659 [both yelling] 158 00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:18,433 Damn it. Hey! 159 00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:20,170 Has anyone seen a mischievous little man? 160 00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:22,842 Yay high? Strange air of sophistication? 161 00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,512 [Lana clears throat] Lana? How did you-- 162 00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:25,781 - I got on the train, Archer. 163 00:06:25,815 --> 00:06:27,852 The "being good at your job" option. 164 00:06:27,885 --> 00:06:29,723 - Ooh, that one's fun. 165 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,125 It teaches you animals in English 166 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,564 and en Español. 167 00:06:33,597 --> 00:06:36,904 - Uh, they used puerco for pig, but cerdo is more common. 168 00:06:36,937 --> 00:06:38,974 - Cool! This one's a coloring book. 169 00:06:39,008 --> 00:06:40,845 - Pam, when is my mom getting here? 170 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,847 [elevator dings] 171 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,449 - Pam? AJ? 172 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,086 - Cyril? Why are you here? 173 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,124 - Oh, just burning the midnight oil, 174 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:50,430 but midday. That midday oil. 175 00:06:50,463 --> 00:06:53,002 - And why are you dressed so casually? 176 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:54,973 - Fine, Pam, you got me. 177 00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:57,010 Sometimes I come in on weekends to be at work 178 00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:58,881 but feel like I can goof off. 179 00:06:58,914 --> 00:07:00,083 - Well, why don't you just-- 180 00:07:00,116 --> 00:07:01,452 - The thought of goofing off 181 00:07:01,485 --> 00:07:03,590 during real work hours terrifies me. 182 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,926 - [chuckles] Lame. 183 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,964 - Um, I wanna do something else. 184 00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:09,201 - Like play with a pretty dolly maybe? 185 00:07:09,234 --> 00:07:11,840 - Ha! Hyah! - Ah! [groans] 186 00:07:11,873 --> 00:07:14,445 - [chuckles] FYI, she's working on boundaries. 187 00:07:14,478 --> 00:07:16,583 - [weakly] That's a good boundary. 188 00:07:16,617 --> 00:07:19,956 - And it gives me an idea. Activities! 189 00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:21,627 - Well, the thing you have to understand 190 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,564 is I'm an amateur marathoner, 191 00:07:23,597 --> 00:07:25,133 so it's easy for me to outrun people. 192 00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,903 - Maybe average people, not me. 193 00:07:26,937 --> 00:07:28,239 - Says the guy I just outran. 194 00:07:28,272 --> 00:07:30,845 - Ha! Getting on a train doesn't count. 195 00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,782 - Enough. I'm sorry we chased you, 196 00:07:32,815 --> 00:07:34,485 but we do work for Fabian. 197 00:07:34,519 --> 00:07:36,255 He's just hard to reach on a Saturday. 198 00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:38,159 - Must be nice. - Well, I'm still alive, 199 00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,163 so I'm inclined to believe you. 200 00:07:40,196 --> 00:07:42,769 But let me ask, as agents for Fabian, 201 00:07:42,802 --> 00:07:45,841 do you think he's being honest about his intent to help me? 202 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:48,847 Aha! You don't trust him. 203 00:07:48,881 --> 00:07:50,718 - It's not-- - Not at all. 0%. 204 00:07:50,751 --> 00:07:52,187 - Well, time to run again. - Wait. 205 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,793 There are people out there who actually want to kill you, 206 00:07:54,826 --> 00:07:56,062 and they could be anywhere. 207 00:07:56,095 --> 00:07:59,068 - Freeze! The Broker's coming with us. 208 00:07:59,101 --> 00:08:00,671 - No! He comes with us. 209 00:08:00,705 --> 00:08:03,009 [tense music] 210 00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,781 - Does no one take the weekend off? 211 00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:10,925 - Okay, clearly a lot happen 212 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,495 Can we just do a quick roll call? 213 00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:14,499 - Nyet. - Copy that, Russian Mafia. 214 00:08:14,532 --> 00:08:16,135 - Well, God damn it, Dmitri. 215 00:08:16,168 --> 00:08:18,774 - Eh, can we get a move on here? - Oh, and classic Mafia. 216 00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:19,943 Thanks, everyone. 217 00:08:19,976 --> 00:08:22,882 - Looks like we have Mexican standoff. 218 00:08:22,915 --> 00:08:25,286 - Easy, we don't use that term anymore. 219 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,224 Plus, none of us want to kill each other, 220 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:31,098 so it's more of a multicultural awkward dinner party. 221 00:08:31,132 --> 00:08:33,236 - Can you not antagonize the mobsters? 222 00:08:33,269 --> 00:08:35,140 - Big hand friend is smart. 223 00:08:35,173 --> 00:08:38,814 Now, give us Broker and no one gets hurt. 224 00:08:38,847 --> 00:08:40,785 Except Broker, obviously. 225 00:08:40,818 --> 00:08:42,187 - Hey, new idea. 226 00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:44,759 I keep the Broker, and everyone else gets hurt 227 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:47,097 because he's under the protection of Sterling Archer. 228 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:51,606 The world greatest spy. 229 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,242 I work for The Agency. 230 00:08:53,276 --> 00:08:55,748 - Should that mean something? 231 00:08:55,781 --> 00:08:57,250 [gun cocks] - Gentlemen, gentlemen! 232 00:08:57,284 --> 00:09:00,056 Might I suggest an alternative where no one gets hurt, 233 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:01,927 especially me? I mean, I get it. 234 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,666 No one wants their secrets out. I'd want me dead too. 235 00:09:04,699 --> 00:09:06,603 - Right, oh, it's nothing personal. 236 00:09:06,636 --> 00:09:08,774 - For sure. You are okay guy. 237 00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:12,247 - Look, comrade, I get it. I mean, I've got secrets too. 238 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,919 Gosh, if people knew that my grand-meemaw 239 00:09:14,953 --> 00:09:16,857 still makes dinner for me every Sunday... 240 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,094 - Oh, my babushka does too. 241 00:09:19,128 --> 00:09:20,998 - Come on, so does my nonna. 242 00:09:21,031 --> 00:09:24,204 Every Sunday night, she makes a parmigiana could blow the-- 243 00:09:24,238 --> 00:09:26,943 - Oh, damn it. He did it again. 244 00:09:26,977 --> 00:09:28,781 - Hey, did you know he runs marathons? 245 00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,150 - He must bring that up a lot. 246 00:09:30,183 --> 00:09:33,022 - Ah, a lot. - Everyone, stop. 247 00:09:33,055 --> 00:09:35,861 We want the Broker. - Ha, get in line, buddy. 248 00:09:35,895 --> 00:09:38,232 - Hiroshi! Oh, we haven't seen the Yakuza 249 00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:40,704 since the Seattle negotiation. 250 00:09:40,738 --> 00:09:42,374 - And now we have to outrun a marathoner 251 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,679 and three criminal organizations 252 00:09:44,712 --> 00:09:47,350 on a Saturday, Lana! - No, we don't. 253 00:09:47,384 --> 00:09:49,689 I put a tracker on the Broker while we had him. 254 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:53,096 [sighs] Because we always lose them. 255 00:09:53,129 --> 00:09:55,166 - Ready, AJ? I'm not gonna go easy on you 256 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,370 just because you're a--ah! 257 00:09:57,404 --> 00:10:00,343 - Whew. Let's go again. - Damn, AJ. 258 00:10:00,376 --> 00:10:01,880 Where'd you learn to fight? 259 00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:03,349 - My mom signed me up for judo classes 260 00:10:03,382 --> 00:10:05,019 to help my self-confidence. Hyah! 261 00:10:05,053 --> 00:10:06,857 - Ah! 262 00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,261 You know, there's such a thing as too much confidence. 263 00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:10,764 - Now remember, AJ, 264 00:10:10,798 --> 00:10:12,635 your opponent won't always fight clean, 265 00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:14,839 so it's good to mix in some dirty boxing. 266 00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:17,010 Eyes, throat, groin. 267 00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:19,716 - Or standard boxing, hold the dirt. 268 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,218 AJ: Yah! - Ooh! [whimpers] 269 00:10:21,252 --> 00:10:22,889 - Damn. [phone rings] 270 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,258 Lana: Hey, Pam, we're still on mission, 271 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,195 but we should be done soon. How's AJ? 272 00:10:26,228 --> 00:10:28,132 - Great. She's playing with Cyril. 273 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,638 - No, no, no, no, no! [groans] 274 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,240 - [chuckles] Toying with him anyway. 275 00:10:32,274 --> 00:10:34,746 - Can you tell her I'll only be gone a little bit longer? 276 00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,950 - Plus her next few birthdays and most holidays. 277 00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:38,787 Pam: Uh, you want me to say that second part? 278 00:10:38,821 --> 00:10:41,358 - No. Cyril: Ah! 279 00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:42,895 - Hmm. Too easy. [phone beeps] 280 00:10:42,929 --> 00:10:44,298 Can we do something else? 281 00:10:44,331 --> 00:10:45,801 [ominous music] 282 00:10:45,835 --> 00:10:48,039 - I'm not sure Krieger's lab is the best place 283 00:10:48,072 --> 00:10:49,441 for a child. - Preteen. 284 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,947 And why are you still in pads? 285 00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:54,384 - That last throw-- which I let you do-- 286 00:10:54,418 --> 00:10:57,057 jammed the zipper. - It'll be fine. 287 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,361 Just don't touch anything or listen to anything 288 00:10:59,394 --> 00:11:00,831 that tells you to free it. 289 00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:02,267 [door buzzes] Dang it, locked. 290 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:05,774 - Probably for the best. Now who wants-- 291 00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,012 - My mom always keeps an extra bobby pin in her hair, 292 00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,381 so I do too. 293 00:11:09,414 --> 00:11:11,887 - Is it normal to be intimidated by a child? 294 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,422 - For you? Absolutely. 295 00:11:13,456 --> 00:11:15,260 - Oh, you gotta be kidding me! 296 00:11:15,293 --> 00:11:16,796 - The tracker says he's in there. 297 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:19,067 - So now I'm at Coney Island without my daughter. 298 00:11:19,101 --> 00:11:20,436 - Yeah, it's not a good look for you. 299 00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:23,175 [gasps] Oh, my God! - You see him? 300 00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:26,248 - Oh, I see him. - We are mid-mission! 301 00:11:26,282 --> 00:11:28,252 Archer: And mid-Saturday! 302 00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:29,488 [ominous music] 303 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,160 - Wow! Is that a Raman spectrometer? 304 00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:34,097 - Maybe. How do you know that? 305 00:11:34,131 --> 00:11:35,834 - Mom sent me to science camp. 306 00:11:35,868 --> 00:11:37,370 It was right after musical theater camp. 307 00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:38,907 We did a production of "Stomp!" 308 00:11:38,941 --> 00:11:40,844 - Aunt Pammy would love to see that! 309 00:11:40,878 --> 00:11:43,951 - Not calling you that, and I don't perform on command. 310 00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:46,723 - Great boundaries! - Whoa. 311 00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:48,292 A sensory deprivation tank? 312 00:11:48,326 --> 00:11:50,263 But why does it have so many wires? 313 00:11:50,296 --> 00:11:51,900 - AJ, no! 314 00:11:51,933 --> 00:11:53,503 Cyril: Ah! It's opening! - Kill whatever comes out. 315 00:11:53,537 --> 00:11:55,507 - [gasps] What day is it? 316 00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:58,847 - It's...Saturday. - What year? 317 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,918 - The same one. 318 00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:03,957 - You are unbelievable. 319 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,028 - I know, winning Poinkers on my first try? 320 00:12:06,061 --> 00:12:07,397 You know how impressive that is? 321 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:09,234 They glue those bottles down, Lana. 322 00:12:09,268 --> 00:12:11,338 - I'll be impressed if you help me find the Broker 323 00:12:11,372 --> 00:12:12,742 and get back to AJ. 324 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,913 - I actually got this for AJ. 325 00:12:14,946 --> 00:12:18,085 I know what it's like to have a mother who's neglectful-- 326 00:12:18,119 --> 00:12:19,956 [fabric tearing] 327 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,425 And withholding. 328 00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:23,864 - Wait, there he is. Archer: Ugh, can we not? 329 00:12:23,897 --> 00:12:26,235 [exciting music] 330 00:12:26,268 --> 00:12:27,905 [Archer grunts] - Ah! 331 00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:30,076 [winces] Ah! 332 00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:31,780 Honestly, I'm glad it's you two. 333 00:12:31,813 --> 00:12:34,184 You seem like my best option. - Of all bad options. 334 00:12:34,217 --> 00:12:35,988 - But Fabian's better than the criminals 335 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,457 who want to kill you. - Eh, tough call. 336 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,227 - Stop making this take longer! 337 00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:40,898 I've already lost half the day with AJ. 338 00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:42,467 - Half the day of one weekend. 339 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:44,438 - It's not one weekend. 340 00:12:44,471 --> 00:12:46,275 There's always some mission or emergency 341 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,112 or moron who won't take our help-- 342 00:12:48,145 --> 00:12:51,285 no offense--I just feel like I'm blowing it as a mother. 343 00:12:51,318 --> 00:12:53,055 - I know how you feel. - You have kids? 344 00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:55,059 - Oh, God, no. Had an absent mother. 345 00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:57,097 It drove me to a life of crime. 346 00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:59,234 - Please? Please, Pam? 347 00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:01,171 - Okay, just this once. 348 00:13:01,205 --> 00:13:03,376 - This feels like really bad babysitting. 349 00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:05,547 - We're not giving her a gun. - It's okay. 350 00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:07,083 Grandma gave me shooting lessons 351 00:13:07,117 --> 00:13:08,486 every year for my birthday, 352 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,824 except when I was in Europe because she said, 353 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,327 "They traded the right to bear arms 354 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,964 for having limp fries." 355 00:13:13,997 --> 00:13:16,803 - Fine, but no automatic weapons. 356 00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:18,039 [epic music] 357 00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:20,376 [growling, hissing] 358 00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:21,980 Nobody move. 359 00:13:22,013 --> 00:13:24,552 [snarling] - Aw, hi there, kitty. 360 00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:27,157 - AJ, you shouldn't-- - Rah! 361 00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:29,495 That's what you sound like. 362 00:13:29,529 --> 00:13:32,100 Aw, look how ferocious you are. [Babou purring] 363 00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,004 A ferocious little predator. 364 00:13:34,037 --> 00:13:36,308 - What in the damn zookeeper hell? 365 00:13:36,342 --> 00:13:38,179 - [gasps] Language, Pam. 366 00:13:38,212 --> 00:13:40,249 - What are you doing here? - It's Saturday. 367 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:42,955 Babou likes to use weekends to mark new territory. 368 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,926 - So that means the shooting range 369 00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:46,930 is now covered in ocelot urine? - Yeah! 370 00:13:46,963 --> 00:13:48,900 Let's say it's just the shooting range. 371 00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,336 [gunfire] 372 00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:54,311 - That's... alarmingly good grouping. 373 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:56,516 - Holy crap! Who are you, even? 374 00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:58,285 - It's just a hobby. 375 00:13:58,319 --> 00:13:59,989 - Seriously, who is this kid? 376 00:14:00,023 --> 00:14:02,060 [alarm blaring] - Hmm, that's weird. 377 00:14:04,031 --> 00:14:05,567 Lana: How does it not worry you? 378 00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:07,538 - Most things don't worry me, and I don't know 379 00:14:07,571 --> 00:14:09,609 what you're talking about, so those two reasons. 380 00:14:09,642 --> 00:14:12,347 - I mean the idea that we're ruining AJ. 381 00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,552 - Lana, a million things will ruin AJ. 382 00:14:14,585 --> 00:14:17,490 Us, weird friends, a bad week at summer camp. 383 00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:19,996 - Wait, that's your answer? "She's already ruined"? 384 00:14:20,029 --> 00:14:21,432 - I loved my summer camp. 385 00:14:21,465 --> 00:14:23,570 I keep my jogging shoes in the basket I made. 386 00:14:23,603 --> 00:14:25,541 - We get it, you run! 387 00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:27,410 We're all messed up by something, Lana. 388 00:14:27,444 --> 00:14:29,649 There's murderers with great parents. 389 00:14:29,682 --> 00:14:32,120 All you can do is what you're already doing. 390 00:14:32,153 --> 00:14:34,625 Try your best and hope you get lucky. 391 00:14:34,659 --> 00:14:37,230 - That--actually helps a little. 392 00:14:37,263 --> 00:14:39,067 Thanks. 393 00:14:39,101 --> 00:14:41,138 Hey, Pam, we've got the Broker. Everything's fine. 394 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,508 we'll be back at the office in ten minutes. 395 00:14:42,541 --> 00:14:43,643 Pam: Cool. 396 00:14:43,677 --> 00:14:45,981 Uh, might want to make it sooner. 397 00:14:46,014 --> 00:14:47,952 Oh, boy. 398 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,396 - Why would all these criminal 399 00:14:53,429 --> 00:14:54,966 go to our office? 400 00:14:54,999 --> 00:14:56,603 - Maybe because an idiot told them who he was 401 00:14:56,636 --> 00:14:57,972 and where he worked. 402 00:14:58,005 --> 00:14:59,341 - I mean, that's one option. 403 00:14:59,374 --> 00:15:01,679 - To be clear, we're driving toward a building 404 00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:03,950 full of people who want to torture and kill me? 405 00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:05,353 Correct? - I don't wanna put plans 406 00:15:05,386 --> 00:15:07,090 in their mouths, but probably. 407 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,960 - Ah. Then I'll be getting out now. 408 00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:10,631 - You didn't check him for weapons? 409 00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:12,300 - It's Saturday! 410 00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:13,537 - You can just pull over anywhere. 411 00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,106 - Oh, shoot me. 412 00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:17,444 I am saving my daughter, you jackhole. 413 00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:19,515 - No sense dying for her daughter. 414 00:15:19,549 --> 00:15:21,519 - Uh, technically she's my daughter too. 415 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,322 - You two have a child together? 416 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,692 - Yes, but not through sex. 417 00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:26,696 This woman took my sperm to have a baby. 418 00:15:26,729 --> 00:15:29,969 Lana: Oh, my God. - Go on. 419 00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:31,171 - Yeah, and then she never told me. 420 00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,675 - I told you when I was ready. 421 00:15:32,708 --> 00:15:35,113 - After AJ was born during a coup. 422 00:15:35,146 --> 00:15:37,283 - Not that you cared, because you abandoned her. 423 00:15:37,317 --> 00:15:39,387 - So you faked a kidnapping to make me care? 424 00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:41,058 - Only the first kidnapping. 425 00:15:41,091 --> 00:15:42,561 The other one was real. 426 00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:44,464 - Anyway, she's back from Switzerland, 427 00:15:44,499 --> 00:15:46,001 she barely knows me as a father, 428 00:15:46,034 --> 00:15:48,272 and her mother is going through a divorce. 429 00:15:48,305 --> 00:15:51,278 - You know what? We gotta save this kid. 430 00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,149 [engine roars] 431 00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:54,351 - Listen up, people. 432 00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:56,321 Until Archer and Lana get back, 433 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,660 as the babysitter, I'm in charge. 434 00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:01,298 - Yeah, of the kid. - You wanna try me? 435 00:16:01,331 --> 00:16:03,302 - Not yet, but keep yelling! 436 00:16:03,335 --> 00:16:05,206 - You three, load up in the armory 437 00:16:05,239 --> 00:16:07,010 then run and gun these mofos. 438 00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:09,749 - AJ, "mofos" means-- - I know. 439 00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:12,555 - I'll find AJ a place to hide until it's over. 440 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,324 - Over meaning we win? 441 00:16:14,357 --> 00:16:15,761 - Sure. 442 00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:17,297 [intense music] 443 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:18,465 [guns cocking] 444 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,169 ♪ ♪ 445 00:16:20,203 --> 00:16:23,108 - Ah, not this again. Oh, well. 446 00:16:23,142 --> 00:16:25,313 [guns cocking] 447 00:16:25,346 --> 00:16:26,516 - Wait, wait, wait. 448 00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:28,720 We all want same thing, yes? 449 00:16:28,753 --> 00:16:30,591 - The Broker dead and bloody. 450 00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:34,030 - Then maybe we work together, comrades. 451 00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:36,034 - Oh, come on, look at us. 452 00:16:36,068 --> 00:16:38,439 The Broker connecting us one last time. 453 00:16:38,472 --> 00:16:40,309 This guy's the glue, you know? 454 00:16:40,343 --> 00:16:43,315 - God bless that soon-to-be dead man. 455 00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:45,186 [elevator dinging] 456 00:16:45,219 --> 00:16:46,589 - Can't you rig up an explosive 457 00:16:46,623 --> 00:16:48,259 that will take them out all at once? 458 00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:50,497 - Hey, no backseat bomb building. 459 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,735 - Yeah, we didn't tell you how to make your terrible ties. 460 00:16:52,768 --> 00:16:54,237 - Wait, you think I make my ties? 461 00:16:54,271 --> 00:16:56,208 [elevator dings, gunfire] 462 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,210 Ah! 463 00:17:01,184 --> 00:17:02,555 - AJ, I need you to hide in the lab. 464 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,157 - But I can help. 465 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,727 I swear, I'm ready. 466 00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:08,465 - I know you are, honey, but you shouldn't have to be, 467 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,069 so Pam's got this one, 468 00:17:10,102 --> 00:17:12,608 whether you call her Aunt Pammy or not. 469 00:17:12,641 --> 00:17:14,512 [cracking knuckles] All right, fellas! 470 00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:18,352 Don't tell Mom the babysitter's about to kick your ass! 471 00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:21,358 [all grunting] 472 00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:23,095 [gunfire] 473 00:17:23,128 --> 00:17:24,765 - Ah! Taking a lot of bullets here. 474 00:17:24,799 --> 00:17:26,769 - Do you want me to rush this bomb? 475 00:17:26,803 --> 00:17:29,307 - No, but I don't love being shot. 476 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,144 - And I don't love criticism. 477 00:17:31,178 --> 00:17:33,115 - Wait, wait, wait, you didn't isolate the blast radius. 478 00:17:33,148 --> 00:17:34,417 It'll take us all out-- 479 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,560 - [coughs] How are we not dead? 480 00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:40,764 - I built it so all the murder went that way. 481 00:17:40,797 --> 00:17:43,402 - Are you our demolitions expert now? 482 00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:46,308 - It's more of a hobby/religion for me. 483 00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:48,145 - Come out, little girl. 484 00:17:48,178 --> 00:17:50,316 Ivan will not hurt you. 485 00:17:50,349 --> 00:17:53,255 Ivan will just trade you for Broker... 486 00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:55,527 and give puppy. 487 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,698 You like puppy, huh? 488 00:17:57,731 --> 00:18:00,637 [Babou growling, Ivan screaming] 489 00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,712 - This is for making me 490 00:18:04,745 --> 00:18:06,816 come to the office 491 00:18:06,849 --> 00:18:08,820 on a Saturday! [both groaning] 492 00:18:08,853 --> 00:18:11,659 - Sorry. Apologies. Jacob, always a pleasure. 493 00:18:13,429 --> 00:18:14,397 - Ah! 494 00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:15,601 [gun clicks] 495 00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,170 [gun clicks] 496 00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:21,411 - Tell me where my daughter is, 497 00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:23,415 or I will rip out your eyes, shove them up your ass 498 00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:25,554 so that you watch my fist punch down your throat. 499 00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:27,625 - I don't even know who you are. 500 00:18:27,658 --> 00:18:29,194 Ah! - Mommy! 501 00:18:29,227 --> 00:18:32,166 - AJ! - Ah! 502 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,705 - Sweetie, what did we say about gunfights? 503 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,477 - Serpentine! - Oh, how adorably competent. 504 00:18:38,747 --> 00:18:40,651 - Right, drop your guns. Do it! 505 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,455 - Bombs too? - Cheryl. 506 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,293 - All right, let's all be cool. 507 00:18:45,326 --> 00:18:46,863 - Said the man holding my child 508 00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:48,700 as a human shield. - Preteen. 509 00:18:48,733 --> 00:18:51,171 - This is a babysitter's worst nightmare. 510 00:18:51,204 --> 00:18:53,309 - Yeah, you're definitely not getting a tip. 511 00:18:53,342 --> 00:18:55,379 - No, no, no, no, no, let's all settle down. 512 00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:57,718 Big Tony, this isn't like you. 513 00:18:57,751 --> 00:18:59,722 - I know, it's just, this didn't go down 514 00:18:59,755 --> 00:19:00,891 like I thought it would, all right? 515 00:19:00,924 --> 00:19:02,861 - So more problems with Angie? 516 00:19:02,895 --> 00:19:06,268 - She wants a big wedding, and all the guests are her friends, 517 00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:07,303 so-- [phone rings] 518 00:19:09,374 --> 00:19:10,877 - Damn it! [shoes tapping rhythmically] 519 00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:14,217 - Is that an Irish jig? - Dance camp. 520 00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:15,486 - Wh-- 521 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,923 - Damn it, if they kill him, 522 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,626 we wasted a whole Saturday for nothing. 523 00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:21,599 - AJ, honey, I'm so sorry, but-- 524 00:19:21,632 --> 00:19:23,603 - Go. I'll stay with Aunt Pammy. 525 00:19:23,636 --> 00:19:27,377 - Sh-she called me Aunt Pammy. I earned it! 526 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:28,513 [elevator dings] - He went this way. 527 00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:29,949 - I'll get my car and meet you outside. 528 00:19:29,982 --> 00:19:32,688 I'm pretty sure I left it in the garage last night. 529 00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:35,259 Hmm, but not totally sure. 530 00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:38,633 [horse whinnies] Sergeant Strawberry! 531 00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:39,802 [horse whinnies] - Is that a--oh! 532 00:19:39,835 --> 00:19:42,608 - Yes, Lana, it's a lance! 533 00:19:44,578 --> 00:19:45,914 Lana: That's them up there. 534 00:19:45,947 --> 00:19:48,520 Ugh, could you ride a little smoother? 535 00:19:48,553 --> 00:19:50,957 - Sure, Lana, let me shift Sergeant Strawberry's gears. 536 00:19:54,264 --> 00:19:54,899 [glass shatters, metal crunches] 537 00:19:58,673 --> 00:19:59,975 - Ugh. 538 00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:01,478 - Here, take the reins. 539 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,319 [Archer yelling] - I'm only saying, Dimitri-- 540 00:20:05,352 --> 00:20:06,956 [Archer laughing] 541 00:20:06,989 --> 00:20:10,396 - Was that like 20 feet? That's gotta be a record. 542 00:20:10,429 --> 00:20:11,532 - I don't know, felt closer to ten. 543 00:20:11,566 --> 00:20:12,735 - Hey, you have running. 544 00:20:12,768 --> 00:20:14,672 Let me at least have this. 545 00:20:14,705 --> 00:20:15,774 [elevator dings] 546 00:20:17,878 --> 00:20:21,418 - Broker, I'm thrilled to see you alive. 547 00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:22,855 - It's one of my favorite things to be, 548 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,594 second only to wine tasting at your vineyard, of course. 549 00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:26,963 How's the harvest? - Ah. 550 00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:29,334 If the mildew doesn't get my sauvignons, 551 00:20:29,367 --> 00:20:30,804 the beetles will. 552 00:20:30,837 --> 00:20:32,741 - Then we must hurry to get those grapes in a glass. 553 00:20:32,775 --> 00:20:34,979 - [chuckles] 554 00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:36,816 Oh, how I've missed you. 555 00:20:36,849 --> 00:20:39,421 [chuckles] - Okay, what's your trick? 556 00:20:39,454 --> 00:20:40,724 - And does it work on daughters? 557 00:20:40,757 --> 00:20:42,561 - Instant intimacy? Well, the trick is, 558 00:20:42,594 --> 00:20:43,763 there is no trick. 559 00:20:43,797 --> 00:20:46,435 I connect because I genuinely care. 560 00:20:46,468 --> 00:20:49,441 Like how you both care about your daughter. 561 00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:51,779 - See, Lana? The criminal negotiator 562 00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,983 thinks we're good parents. - Mm, not what he said. 563 00:20:54,017 --> 00:20:55,987 - Wait, where's AJ? - She's fine. 564 00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,591 She wanted to wait in Grandma's office. 565 00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,597 [cool music] 566 00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:01,999 - That had better be juice. 567 00:21:02,033 --> 00:21:04,638 - Mommy! 568 00:21:04,672 --> 00:21:06,007 - AJ, I'm so sorry. 569 00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:07,878 I wanted this to be your best Saturday ever. 570 00:21:07,911 --> 00:21:09,314 - But it was. 571 00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:10,984 I saw your office and played with Babou 572 00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:12,654 and fired a gun and-- - Pam! 573 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,892 - What matters is we're all safe. 574 00:21:14,925 --> 00:21:18,031 The takeaway here is she called me Aunt Pammy. 575 00:21:18,065 --> 00:21:20,937 - And we all helped babysit, which deserves compensation. 576 00:21:20,971 --> 00:21:23,342 - You're a multimillionaire. - But I'm not a chump. 577 00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:24,879 - Amen, sister! 578 00:21:24,912 --> 00:21:27,450 - Can we watch cartoons now? - I would love that. 579 00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,594 - Oh, God, yeah, it's juice. 580 00:21:32,628 --> 00:21:34,732 Oh, my God, I still taste it. 581 00:21:34,765 --> 00:21:36,334 Someone get me some whiskey. 582 00:21:56,609 --> 00:21:59,548 - Made in Georgia.