1 00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:04,753 Ly his final birthday. 2 00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:06,038 And in intelligence news, 3 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,091 a manhunt is underway for members of the agency, 4 00:00:09,126 --> 00:00:13,762 a rogue spy agency linked to several international incidents 5 00:00:13,798 --> 00:00:16,682 including the disappearance of fabian kingsworth, 6 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,750 ceo of iia. 7 00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,752 Information on the group is spotty, 8 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,690 but we do know they're led by this man, cyril figgis. 9 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,859 - Oh, my god. Can you believe this? 10 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,645 - I know. Even a penguin upstaged us. 11 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,730 - No, they think you're in charge of me. 12 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:32,781 [laughter] 13 00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:33,982 - I'd maybe focus on the fact 14 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,101 that fabian framed us and vanished. 15 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,904 - On the bright side, it's almost impossible to find 16 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,923 a new york apartment on such short notice. 17 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,658 - This isn't an apartment, krieger, 18 00:00:42,693 --> 00:00:43,959 it's an abandoned safehouse. 19 00:00:43,994 --> 00:00:46,862 The bathroom's in the kitchen, the kitchen is the living room, 20 00:00:46,897 --> 00:00:49,631 and our landlord is a literal cockroach. 21 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,451 - So a new york city apartment. 22 00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:53,802 [laughter] 23 00:00:53,838 --> 00:00:55,087 [cheers and applause] 24 00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:57,773 - do you guys think our cute neighbor has a crush on me? 25 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:59,975 Scrawny, huge overbite, always scurrying around. 26 00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:03,429 - That's a sewer rat, and he has a brood of children. 27 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,730 - Ew! He has kids? 28 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,849 [mimics buzzer] dealbreaker. 29 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,984 - Stop with the sitcom sound effects. 30 00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:12,821 [groans] - but it's so boring here. 31 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,957 - Pam, I get that you are incapable of living 32 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,876 without extreme overstimulation and/or violence, 33 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,661 but we have bigger problems. 34 00:01:19,697 --> 00:01:20,896 - What? Where? I'll kill them. 35 00:01:20,931 --> 00:01:22,765 - Press that and see what happens. 36 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,767 - Look, aj's custody hearing is today 37 00:01:24,802 --> 00:01:26,702 and I'd rather not show up and get nabbed. 38 00:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,203 Krieger, where are we on counter-surveillance? 39 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:32,641 Man: All units, be advised, fbi and nsa inbound. 40 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,143 - But that could be about anybody... 41 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:37,462 Who they're looking for at our workplace, homes, and-- 42 00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:38,397 oh, no. 43 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,815 - Why the feds got their panties in a wad? 44 00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:40,983 We barely did shit. 45 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,235 - Besides destabilizing a global finance center, 46 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,938 killing someone with a train, and robbing a literal bank? 47 00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:48,957 - [groans] people are so sensitive. 48 00:01:48,993 --> 00:01:50,726 - And this is weird. They're surveilling 49 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,060 all of our places except ray's. 50 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,946 - Oh, I don't know. Maybe he got nabbed 51 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,765 by any of the 50 agencies hunting us like dogs. 52 00:01:56,801 --> 00:01:59,001 - What if he flipped? Maybe he's tray-cherous. 53 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,737 - Oh, wouldn't tray-tor have been-- 54 00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,572 - a million times worse? Absolutely. 55 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,623 - Who cares? 56 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,707 We're going to prison for life, 57 00:02:05,743 --> 00:02:06,708 and we'll die in a cage. 58 00:02:06,744 --> 00:02:09,745 [laughter] 59 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:10,879 - [grunts] - [groans] 60 00:02:10,915 --> 00:02:12,714 - okay, hilarious as it is 61 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:14,016 to watch cyril confront his mortality, 62 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:17,486 I have just now devised a plan to get lana to the hearing, 63 00:02:17,521 --> 00:02:18,670 you guys to safety, 64 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:21,056 and me to non-sewer air, likely tropical. 65 00:02:21,091 --> 00:02:23,559 - How? I'd add something sassy here, 66 00:02:23,594 --> 00:02:24,726 but archer broke my phone. 67 00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:25,861 - We run a series of distractions 68 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:26,929 during the hearing. 69 00:02:26,964 --> 00:02:29,865 A distraction relay, if you will. 70 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,868 Then we flee to cheryl's plane on--what did you call it? 71 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,803 - Long island. - Gross. 72 00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:36,071 - Tell me about it, but apparently, 73 00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:39,608 major airports hate when you transport tons of bombs 74 00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:40,909 or even say the word bomb. 75 00:02:40,945 --> 00:02:43,795 - Which we'll use for the most noble cause possible, 76 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,147 finding fabian and crushing him. 77 00:02:45,182 --> 00:02:47,816 Come on, damn it. We've thwarted cartels, 78 00:02:47,852 --> 00:02:49,918 kingpins, cyborg barry armies, 79 00:02:49,954 --> 00:02:51,920 and we're gonna lose to this english prick? 80 00:02:51,956 --> 00:02:54,756 So let's get up, act like the spies we are, 81 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,642 and kick some ii-ass. 82 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,809 - All right. - Hell, yeah. 83 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,012 - Aw, thank you, but all this is because 84 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,746 you ran out of booze last night, isn't it? 85 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,432 - What? No. 86 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,585 It was this morning. 87 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,588 [main title theme] 88 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:16,528 ♪ ♪ 89 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,556 sly? We're in the heart 90 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,657 of new york and we're disguised 91 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,858 as a landscaping company? 92 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,961 - You made me paint over the other one. 93 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,496 - [groans] strained, at best. 94 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,898 - [groans] 95 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,783 - lana, you don a disguise and make your way 96 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:56,702 to the courtroom for aj's custody hearing. 97 00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:58,837 - Great, aj can watch me get arrested in person 98 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,573 instead of on the news. - Just trust me, lana. 99 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:02,941 The distraction relay will work, 100 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,761 but to pull it off, it has to run like clockwork. 101 00:04:05,796 --> 00:04:07,846 - Can't we just fart our way through this like usual? 102 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,998 - No, we need each distraction on schedule. 103 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,850 Otherwise, they'll catch wind about lana. 104 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,686 So that means no freelancing, no tying up loose ends, 105 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,688 and no personal bullshit. 106 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,023 All: [groans] - come on. 107 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,975 - And what are you griping about, cyril? 108 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,678 Your life is so empty that your emergency contact is 911. 109 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:24,896 - Hey, I have a full life. 110 00:04:24,949 --> 00:04:26,198 I've got plenty of things I could tie up. 111 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,851 - Like using your punch card to get a free pizza from teddie's. 112 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,704 - [sighs] no. I'm still two short. 113 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,122 - Now, if you'll excuse me, 114 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:37,743 I gotta go distract the police by being hot as hell. 115 00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:38,961 [motorcycle revs] 116 00:04:38,996 --> 00:04:41,630 - sorry. These new actuators are a little balky. 117 00:04:41,665 --> 00:04:43,531 Just a sec. 118 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:50,505 Just a... 119 00:04:52,643 --> 00:04:53,759 Sec. 120 00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,844 - Man, if I'd peeled out right after I said that, 121 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,563 you guys would've gone full sploosh mountain. 122 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,899 [motorcycle engine roars] 123 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,686 - uh, damn. That was pretty hot. 124 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,739 [brakes screech] 125 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:08,824 - you know, lana, there's a chance 126 00:05:08,859 --> 00:05:10,025 you walk in there, get arrested, 127 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,727 and go to jail for the rest of your life, right? 128 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,029 - If I walk in there and get arrested 129 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,914 or I don't walk in there at all, 130 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,749 either way, I never see aj again. 131 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,917 What's the difference? 132 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:20,669 - Bars on your bedroom and shitty food, 133 00:05:20,704 --> 00:05:21,953 but point taken. 134 00:05:22,006 --> 00:05:25,040 Oh, and lana, try not to get photographed in that babushka. 135 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,209 If the polish are ever taken seriously in the country, 136 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:30,462 that costume would definitely come back to haunt you. 137 00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:33,081 - You know, I wouldn't say haunted. 138 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,100 I just think my written test score 139 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,019 is getting in the way of a promotion. 140 00:05:37,054 --> 00:05:38,220 - [sighs] that's not important. 141 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:41,923 Okay, being a field agent isn't about written tests. 142 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,809 - I also did bad on the skills part. 143 00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:45,610 - Um, that's less not important, 144 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:46,928 so let's practice. 145 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,930 You see him. You say-- 146 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,116 - um, stop. You're under arrest? 147 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,902 - Okay, are you asking me or are you telling me? 148 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:56,655 - Telling? Wait, no. Asking. Pass. 149 00:05:56,707 --> 00:05:57,772 - Wait a second. Is that-- 150 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,941 [motorcycle engine roars] 151 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,877 - excuse me, officers. 152 00:06:01,912 --> 00:06:03,045 - Not now, please, ma'am. 153 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,947 We're undercover, and it's very important. 154 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,718 - Okay. You want to check those files? 155 00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:11,803 - Can you turn your head? Huh. 156 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,055 Oh, my god, it's her. 157 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:15,841 - Punch it, wally. Oh, wait. I'm driving. 158 00:06:15,893 --> 00:06:17,592 [siren blares] 159 00:06:20,097 --> 00:06:21,646 [door opens] lana: Oh, god. 160 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:22,898 I'm so sorry I'm late. 161 00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:24,149 The jackass at reception took forever. 162 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,017 Think frankenstein, but less articulate. 163 00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:29,020 - The individual you referred to as a jackass 164 00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:32,824 happens to be my husband, and he has a speech impediment. 165 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,142 - [chuckles] um, did I say frankenstein? 166 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,977 I meant--well, I guess technically 167 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,662 I meant, frankenstein's monster. 168 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:38,447 [chuckles] 169 00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:39,814 oh, god, this is not going well. 170 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:40,949 - Eh, could be worse. 171 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,951 - Oh, sweetie. Hmm. 172 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:46,288 - Lana, I am simply blown away by your persistence. 173 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:49,758 I admire you, not just as a parent, but as a woman. 174 00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:50,825 - Thank you? 175 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,210 I mean, I should be admiring you. 176 00:06:52,262 --> 00:06:54,763 You didn't tell the judge I'm a literal fugitive. 177 00:06:54,798 --> 00:06:55,964 - Gosh, no. 178 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,934 It would disregard aj's agency as a young woman 179 00:06:58,969 --> 00:07:00,936 and the integrity of our bygone marriage. 180 00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:03,171 - Wow. That's actually really sweet. 181 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:05,974 - [clears throat] can we commence please? 182 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,810 - Your honor, I'm going to present irrefutable proof 183 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,228 that lana kane is an unfit mother 184 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,949 and would cause lasting developmental damage to aj. 185 00:07:13,984 --> 00:07:16,034 - Oh, you bald little shit. 186 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,953 Why not wear a turtleneck to complete the look, 187 00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:19,905 you uncircumcised dick? 188 00:07:19,957 --> 00:07:21,573 - [clears throat] 189 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,827 - ugh, this is gonna be a long hearing. 190 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,879 [siren wailing] 191 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,881 - cheryl, cue the distraction. 192 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,967 [siren wailing] 193 00:07:32,002 --> 00:07:33,701 [tires screech] 194 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:38,006 ♪ ♪ 195 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,591 both: [screams] 196 00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:40,892 ♪ ♪ 197 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,844 - [laughs] 198 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,845 [both screaming] 199 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,879 [crash] 200 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,064 - where'd you get chickens? 201 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,984 - I want to say the chicken store. 202 00:07:49,019 --> 00:07:51,019 ♪ ♪ 203 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,523 - oh, man. I forgot to say she was under arrest. 204 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,225 - Where the hell are you? You're on in five. 205 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,910 - Oh, can someone else take the baton? 206 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,162 I'm tying up a loose end. 207 00:08:00,197 --> 00:08:02,864 Cyril: What happened to "no personal bullshit"? 208 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,732 - Yeah, for you guys. You're up. 209 00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:05,567 Cyril: But I'm not ready. 210 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,169 - Oh, for real? Well, in that case, 211 00:08:07,204 --> 00:08:09,037 I'm gonna do exactly what I was doing 212 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,006 because it's extremely important. 213 00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,791 Click. Cyril: Did you just say cl-- 214 00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:13,992 [phone beeps] 215 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,345 - hey, excuse me. Is this the brothel? 216 00:08:19,449 --> 00:08:20,282 And as you can see here 217 00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:21,867 from the exhibit dated that January, 218 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,119 lana's negligence got aj kidnapped. 219 00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:27,038 - What? Separately, nice graphics. 220 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,874 - I was skeptical at first, 221 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,125 but they really were worth the money. 222 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,043 - Hey, I got her back, didn't I? 223 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,913 Plus, that experience taught us all a very valuable lesson. 224 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,765 - And that lesson was... 225 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,949 - Don't get kidnapped? 226 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,918 Oh, and I was super helpful in the firefight. 227 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,187 - And ms. Kane, what is your job exactly? 228 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:45,323 - Independent security consultant? 229 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,960 - I'd feel better if that didn't sound like a question. 230 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,512 - So would I. 231 00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,065 - All right, little setback, but we are back on it. 232 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,984 Repeat after me. We are tough. 233 00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:58,853 We are smart. We manifest our own luck. 234 00:08:58,888 --> 00:09:00,989 - We are tough. We are smart. 235 00:09:01,024 --> 00:09:03,692 We--give me that third one again. Sorry. 236 00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:04,993 - [sighs] you know what? 237 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,779 I'm just gonna do a sweep of the courthouse. 238 00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:10,064 Why don't you stay put, wally? 239 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,866 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 240 00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,836 - No. Hello. Hello, I'm a fugitive. 241 00:09:14,871 --> 00:09:16,955 - Oh, shit. Second chance. 242 00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:19,958 Let's do this! - I totally manifested that. 243 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:24,262 ♪ ♪ 244 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:27,015 - why is he so good at roller skating? 245 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:30,752 [disco music] 246 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,971 [banging on wall] 247 00:09:33,023 --> 00:09:34,940 - sorry, mrs. Fentooli. 248 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,225 I just got lost in the skating. 249 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,978 [laughs] look at me now, mrs. Fentooli. 250 00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:41,196 - Need backup. Central park. 251 00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:44,399 In pursuit of a dork on roller skates. 252 00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:46,985 - Madame trinette, you know this guy? 253 00:09:47,037 --> 00:09:48,153 - We're old friends. 254 00:09:48,205 --> 00:09:50,322 - Does friends mean, "teamed up with my nemesis 255 00:09:50,374 --> 00:09:53,107 "for a dubious paternity test to bleed money out of me 256 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,492 which I used to build a fancy brothel"? 257 00:09:54,544 --> 00:09:58,213 - Fine. Friends with benefits. - That's not what that means. 258 00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:01,082 - Sure it does. I got dental and everything. 259 00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,001 - Whatever. I need a favor. 260 00:10:03,053 --> 00:10:05,086 Your clientele are the city's elite, yes? 261 00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:08,306 - Shit, yeah. We got real classy cooze here. 262 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,392 - I assume you keep dirt on everyone who comes in here 263 00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:13,795 and every other rich person they talk shit about. 264 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:14,846 - Of course not. 265 00:10:14,898 --> 00:10:15,963 The cops leave us alone 266 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,265 because they're nice. 267 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,267 Hey, to survive in this business, 268 00:10:19,302 --> 00:10:21,236 sometimes you gotta pull strings. 269 00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:23,071 - Or whatever else needs pulling. 270 00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:25,106 Look, trinette, I need everything you know 271 00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:26,324 about a billionaire named robert-- 272 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,110 - hell no. I don't let anything leak. 273 00:10:29,145 --> 00:10:31,029 - Look, trinette, it's not for me. 274 00:10:31,081 --> 00:10:32,313 It's for my daughter. 275 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,149 Unless I can smear robert, he's gonna take aj from lana, 276 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,386 which means I wouldn't get to see her. 277 00:10:38,422 --> 00:10:42,173 - You know, you're lucky that having a kid made me a wimp. 278 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,426 Careful with that, you puke. - Thanks, trinette. 279 00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:46,978 You know, we had some good times, didn't we? 280 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,064 - No, you paid me for sex. 281 00:10:49,099 --> 00:10:50,515 - Fair enough. Give seamus my best, 282 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,934 but would it kill you to send him to lacrosse camp? 283 00:10:52,969 --> 00:10:55,053 - If it made him like you, yes. 284 00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:56,354 - For that, I'm taking a shot glass. 285 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:59,006 - Go ahead. You bought all this anyway. 286 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:02,027 And hey, archer, I really look forward 287 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:04,696 to seeing your next check. 288 00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:05,947 [laughs] 289 00:11:05,982 --> 00:11:08,366 - so you're telling me that you used to have a stable job, 290 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:11,152 but now you're effectively unemployed. 291 00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,187 - Self-employed-ish. 292 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,073 Do I get bonus points for saving the world on, 293 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,024 like, two separate occasions? 294 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,993 - You would if I believed you. 295 00:11:19,028 --> 00:11:22,047 - And? - I do not. 296 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,049 - I've never felt so free. 297 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:27,001 Eat my skate dust, you-- 298 00:11:27,036 --> 00:11:29,137 well, just eat it. [laughs] 299 00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,388 - okay, we might be really bad at this. 300 00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,474 - Hey, we've got to stop the cycle of screwing up, 301 00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:35,260 beating ourselves up about it, and then losing confidence, 302 00:11:35,312 --> 00:11:37,145 and then screwing up even more. 303 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,930 Instead... [bell rings] 304 00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:40,014 let's treat ourselves. 305 00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:43,768 - Okay, if this is reverse psychology, I like it. 306 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:48,106 - Archer, it's your turn. 307 00:11:48,158 --> 00:11:50,057 Have you done anything useful today? 308 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,276 - Yes, I've made you angry, 309 00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:53,027 thereby taking years off your life. 310 00:11:53,062 --> 00:11:55,113 - But-- - that's good for the world. 311 00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:56,397 But I actually have to get this file to lana 312 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,166 before the hearing's over, so we'll need 313 00:11:58,201 --> 00:12:00,201 one final distraction, and it's not like you 314 00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:01,419 have personal shit to take care of. 315 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,171 - But how will I get their attention 316 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:05,423 when apparently, I'm the most boring man alive? 317 00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,376 - Oh, cyril, I've spent hundreds of hours 318 00:12:08,411 --> 00:12:10,462 trying to figure out how one man could have 319 00:12:10,514 --> 00:12:14,349 so little going on, but with your lack of charisma 320 00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:16,250 and devotion to wasting your life, 321 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:19,086 bystanders can't help but be utterly mystified by you. 322 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:20,421 - Wow. That's--wait. 323 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,941 None of what you just said is positive. 324 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,692 - Thanks. Wish me luck. 325 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,446 - In conclusion, to quote the great robert marley, 326 00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,199 "me don't dip on the black man side. 327 00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:33,935 "me don't dip on the white man side. 328 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,321 Me dip on god's side." 329 00:12:36,373 --> 00:12:38,990 - I'm gonna need a five minute recess. 330 00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:40,408 - How's it going? - [groans] 331 00:12:40,443 --> 00:12:42,410 - well, that's about to change. - What's this? 332 00:12:42,445 --> 00:12:45,246 - A file on robert. You think he smeared you? 333 00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:48,249 Every shady investment, every masquerade orgy, 334 00:12:48,284 --> 00:12:51,136 every racist joke he told in an elevator is in here. 335 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:52,220 You can bury him. 336 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:54,172 - How do you have this and--oh. 337 00:12:54,224 --> 00:12:55,557 Why does it smell like a whorehouse? 338 00:12:55,592 --> 00:12:59,894 - Uh, let's just say we have friends in low places. 339 00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,596 Like whorehouses. 340 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,184 - [sighs] no. I can't. 341 00:13:06,236 --> 00:13:07,468 - What? Lana, why? 342 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,304 - Because then I'm no better than that bow tied ball bag. 343 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,273 [sighs] we need to talk. 344 00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:14,308 - I know that some of this seems harsh, 345 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,161 but it's important for the judge to know 346 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,913 what kind of home you'll be providing for aj. 347 00:13:18,949 --> 00:13:19,864 - It's not that. 348 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:23,418 I think we should just stop this and let aj choose. 349 00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:25,319 For her sake, she doesn't need to hear 350 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,154 any more dirt about either of us. 351 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,339 - Are you sure? 352 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,342 I want to be respectful of her autonomy and yours, 353 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,428 but you're really going to ask her to choose between 354 00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:36,214 a barren apartment and a mansion 355 00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:38,299 with its own bowling alley/arcade? 356 00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:40,018 - I just want what's best for her, 357 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:40,852 and it's not this hearing. 358 00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:44,105 Wait a minute. A bowling alley/arcade? 359 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,106 I've never seen that. 360 00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:48,175 - It's a--it's a big house. 361 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,343 - Look at me when I'm talking to you. 362 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,363 You are the fbi, and no one can take that away. 363 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,282 Unless, of course, the fbi fires you. 364 00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:56,317 Don't think about that. [phone buzzes] 365 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:58,369 - oh, wow. Okay. Our mole has, in fact, 366 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,205 confirmed that the target is inside. 367 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,406 Are you ready? - One second. 368 00:14:01,458 --> 00:14:04,042 That's right. You got this. Quick, but not too quick. 369 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,961 Mm, mm. Ah, brain freeze. 370 00:14:06,997 --> 00:14:08,663 - [sighs] 371 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,632 - since this hearing started, 372 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,668 I've thought a lot about myself and my future. 373 00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:17,255 I love both of you guys, and you're both good people, 374 00:14:17,307 --> 00:14:19,507 so I know there's no wrong choice. 375 00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:21,375 And in these tough couple months, 376 00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:24,062 daddy has been so supportive and caring. 377 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,230 And I've never had so much 378 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,098 trifola d'alba madonna in my life. 379 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,382 - Trifolda--what's that now? 380 00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,435 - Most expensive truffles on earth. 381 00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:32,386 She has her father's palate. 382 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,240 - Robert, I love you very much, 383 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,558 but it's obviously mom, duh. 384 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,278 Like, it's just so weird that you're even doing this. 385 00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:42,413 What are you thinking? - Kid goes to mom. 386 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,282 Honestly, she's screwed either way. 387 00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:45,667 Court adjourned. 388 00:14:45,702 --> 00:14:49,403 - What an untraditional family we are, but we make it work. 389 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,421 - Who are you again? 390 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,623 - I know you're joking, 391 00:14:51,675 --> 00:14:55,076 but that was absolutely devastating. 392 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:56,294 Nice work. 393 00:14:56,346 --> 00:14:59,246 - I am so, so happy. 394 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,299 - About losing custody? - No, no, no. 395 00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:04,418 Don't you see? I pushed for this trial 396 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,689 so you would see firsthand, aj chose you. 397 00:15:07,724 --> 00:15:11,609 You're not a mom by default. You're her mother. 398 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:15,280 - Cool. Bizarre mind games from an eccentric billionaire. 399 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,398 Who could've guessed? You goddamn weirdo. 400 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:20,401 - Language, but correct. [phone buzzes] 401 00:15:20,436 --> 00:15:22,487 god, tipping off the fbi. 402 00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:24,438 So much for respecting our autonomy. 403 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,157 Thanks for nothing, asshole. 404 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:27,742 - Nothing? Are you kidding me? 405 00:15:27,777 --> 00:15:32,279 I spent, like, $20 million keeping the damn agency afloat. 406 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,499 - Well, thank you for that. 407 00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:39,220 Now go eat $20 million worth of shit. 408 00:15:39,255 --> 00:15:41,139 [dramatic music] 409 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,340 krieger, we've been made. 410 00:15:42,392 --> 00:15:44,309 We need a distraction-- something, anything. 411 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,760 - Um, cyril, do something. 412 00:15:45,795 --> 00:15:48,429 - But I already did my one thing, the roller skates. 413 00:15:48,464 --> 00:15:49,647 I'm out of moves. 414 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,516 - Come on. There's gotta be something. 415 00:15:51,568 --> 00:15:54,152 We gotta think big. We gotta think-- 416 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,571 - absolutely enormous. 417 00:15:56,606 --> 00:15:59,473 I mean, does he need special pants? 418 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,077 - I swear to god, it looked at me. 419 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:04,495 - Courts have side entrances? 420 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,248 - It's called a celebrity door, lana, 421 00:16:07,283 --> 00:16:08,366 you philistine. 422 00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:12,486 ♪ ♪ 423 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,505 whoo! That was awesome. 424 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:17,675 Now all we've gotta do is get off the island of manhattan 425 00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:23,181 with the entire fbi after us blocking all the roads. 426 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,099 - Roads? Where we're going, 427 00:16:25,135 --> 00:16:27,101 we don't need roads. 428 00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:32,473 ♪ ♪ 429 00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:34,809 - whoa, krieger, hovercraft. 430 00:16:34,844 --> 00:16:38,146 - Krieger, we're only going, like, five miles an hour. 431 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,984 - [chuckles] try six. 432 00:16:46,122 --> 00:16:48,072 Any faster? 433 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,658 Or am I gonna die in this windowless van 434 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,542 like a missing teen? 435 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,795 - He said in a van with his daughter. 436 00:16:53,830 --> 00:16:54,996 - Will you relax? 437 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,248 [foghorn blows] [yelps] 438 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,967 - oh, it looks like some sad adults. 439 00:17:00,003 --> 00:17:01,285 - Trinette? - Archer. 440 00:17:01,304 --> 00:17:03,938 What are you, obsessed with me now? 441 00:17:03,973 --> 00:17:05,973 - You do house calls? Why a boat? 442 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:09,960 - International waters, bro. No rules. Whoo! 443 00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:11,145 [laughter] - not true, 444 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:13,931 and it's extremely creepy that you want that. 445 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,016 - Trinette, I'm gonna level with you. 446 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,234 We need to switch boats. 447 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,070 - I already done enough favors for you today. 448 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,072 Get out of here. - Wait. Wait. Wait. 449 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,974 I have a well thought out, persuasive argument. 450 00:17:23,993 --> 00:17:25,159 [gun cocks] 451 00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:27,278 all right, now, fair is fair, finance snobs. 452 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,280 Empty your wallets for trinette and her girls. 453 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,816 - Aren't they just gonna take their money back when we leave? 454 00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,451 - Good point. 455 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,754 Now, you boys share that. Be good. 456 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,290 You think those guys know how to swim? 457 00:17:39,325 --> 00:17:42,126 I probably should've asked. - Eh, I think you're fine. 458 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,128 - Heads up. Sea pigs. 459 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,964 - Shut up. The fbi has jet skis? 460 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,884 - Whoo-hoo! I love civil forfeiture. 461 00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,168 - We got these from criminals? 462 00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:52,970 - Fun fact. They don't even have to be 463 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:54,272 guilty for us to take their stuff. 464 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:57,174 - That cannot be true. - It is, though. 465 00:17:57,193 --> 00:18:00,778 - Whoo! Jet ski! - Whoo! 466 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,899 - [groans] - where did you get that? 467 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,183 [knock on door] 468 00:18:06,202 --> 00:18:07,902 - pam, what are you doing here? 469 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,153 - Shh, I need a favor. 470 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,239 - Anything, my darling. - First-- 471 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,792 [both moaning] [fireworks whistle and crackle] 472 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:18,696 - you probably shouldn't set off fireworks indoors. 473 00:18:18,715 --> 00:18:20,047 Yeah? 474 00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,750 - Agree to disagree. 475 00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,256 Alessia made us a care package. Ka-boom. 476 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,874 - Okay, you can never break up with her. 477 00:18:29,893 --> 00:18:31,976 - Oh, my god, I love her. 478 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,177 - Those were warning shots. 479 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,396 Stop the boat or we will open fire. 480 00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:38,933 - Aj, honey, get below and stay down. Aj? 481 00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,885 - [mocking] oh, aj, get below 482 00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:41,853 and stay down. 483 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:44,054 - We will discuss your tone later, missy. 484 00:18:44,073 --> 00:18:45,323 - Well, hello. 485 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,225 I'm gonna name you the solution to all my problems. 486 00:18:48,244 --> 00:18:50,328 - Or maybe we don't blow up 487 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,062 the boat full of government employees. 488 00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:53,080 - They started it. 489 00:18:53,116 --> 00:18:55,700 - Party boat. Let's do this. 490 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,253 - Whoo-hoo! Waterskiing. 491 00:18:59,289 --> 00:19:02,740 - [laughs] little too slow for me. 492 00:19:02,759 --> 00:19:03,624 Whoa! 493 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,293 - Come on. Try not to actually hit him. 494 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,963 - This is not what you'd call a precision operation. 495 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,631 [explosions] 496 00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,602 - [groans] 497 00:19:16,272 --> 00:19:19,724 - oh, yeah, redemption. Ah! 498 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:23,194 - I got an idea, 499 00:19:23,229 --> 00:19:25,062 but you're gonna have to unkink your panties 500 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,031 for about 30 goddamn seconds. 501 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,733 - Do I have to? 502 00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,121 - Damn it, I'm out. - Me too. 503 00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:35,373 - I need you to reach into my pocket. 504 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,291 - Ah, jesus. You have an erection? 505 00:19:37,327 --> 00:19:40,161 - It's a shot glass, but also, yes. 506 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,663 Use it. The shot glass, I mean. 507 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,166 - [screams] 508 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:47,835 - [laughs] whoo! 509 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,759 [explosion] 510 00:19:58,181 --> 00:19:59,230 - why did you have that? 511 00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:02,132 - Friends in low places, like whorehouses. 512 00:20:02,151 --> 00:20:03,300 - I know what you meant. 513 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:05,486 - Consider my panties unkinked. 514 00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:07,304 - Is that in reference to something? 515 00:20:07,323 --> 00:20:10,691 - Oh, that wasn't you guys. Never mind. 516 00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,163 [gun cocks] - hi. Sorry about the gun. 517 00:20:16,199 --> 00:20:18,249 I'll need the golf cart. - Aw, man. 518 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:19,951 - Don't be like that. 519 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,204 - Uh, anyone know where we're going? 520 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,338 - Or who's gonna fly the plane? 521 00:20:24,374 --> 00:20:26,290 - Uh, this is really as far as my plan went. 522 00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:29,093 [engine roars] 523 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,595 - well, I guess we lost them. 524 00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:34,298 - No, you've inspired me today, and I am not giving up. 525 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,050 Well, hello, beautiful. 526 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,975 Man: I see you finally made it. 527 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,194 [clicks] 528 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,479 - did you turn off the safety? 529 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,314 - You don't know it has a safety. 530 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:54,652 [explosion] 531 00:20:56,205 --> 00:20:57,488 you know what? That's it. I quit. 532 00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:59,240 I'm gonna go back to clown college. 533 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,324 - I'll be right there behind you. 534 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,326 Slater: Ah, goddamn it. 535 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,194 What the fuck, archer? 536 00:21:04,213 --> 00:21:06,464 - Slater, it's you. I'm so sorry. 537 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,468 I should've shot you twice. - Wow. You look-- 538 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,253 - really bad. - [groans] 539 00:21:12,288 --> 00:21:13,521 - jesus, the cia's involved now? 540 00:21:13,556 --> 00:21:15,556 Could we just skip all the usual agro-bullshit 541 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,392 and get to the point? - Your old boss, fabian, 542 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:21,595 used that blackmail info you stole from the bank to destabilize 543 00:21:21,631 --> 00:21:25,166 the country of manatina, where he's now fled. 544 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:26,350 - Hey, in our defense, 545 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:28,385 we didn't know it was blackmail info. 546 00:21:28,404 --> 00:21:29,603 - So your defense is you're stupid. 547 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:33,157 - I'd also like to say that in my defense, he's stupid. 548 00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:34,408 - So what are you doing here? 549 00:21:34,444 --> 00:21:35,609 You're not domestic law enforcement. 550 00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:39,246 - The better question is what is ray doing here. 551 00:21:39,282 --> 00:21:40,331 [all gasp] 552 00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,533 lana: Oh, my god, ray really did flip. 553 00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:45,536 This is hopeless. - Now, hang on one minute. 554 00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:48,405 Just because ray sucks doesn't mean we do too. 555 00:21:48,424 --> 00:21:49,590 I've done more living in the past day 556 00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:53,177 than I have in years, and I don't intend to stop now, 557 00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:54,595 so to borrow a phrase, 558 00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:59,216 "let's get it together and kick some ii-ass." 559 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,185 [cheers and applause] 560 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,386 and you know what? 561 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:04,438 While we're at it, I have an announcement to make. 562 00:22:04,474 --> 00:22:06,974 I'm ready to start dating again. 563 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,311 [laughter] 564 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:13,147 - you haven't dated since lana? 565 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:14,615 - What? You wait one year 566 00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:16,534 for every month you dated someone. 567 00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:19,370 - No, it's the opposite of that. 568 00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:20,437 - [groans] 569 00:22:20,456 --> 00:22:22,156 know when to stop talking, cyril. 570 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:24,375 - Oh, god, I miss this. 571 00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:26,276 - Please, never learn that. 572 00:22:26,295 --> 00:22:28,329 God, thank you so much, cyril. 573 00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:31,082 It just feels so good... - To laugh? 574 00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:32,299 - To not be you. 575 00:22:32,335 --> 00:22:35,886 [laughter] 576 00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:43,928 ♪ ♪