1 00:00:01,346 --> 00:00:05,487 - Which was tragically his final birthday. 2 00:00:05,522 --> 00:00:06,557 And in intelligence news, 3 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,763 a manhunt is underway for members of the Agency, 4 00:00:09,796 --> 00:00:14,540 a rogue spy agency linked to several international incidents 5 00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:17,444 including the disappearance of Fabian Kingsworth, 6 00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,516 CEO of IIA. 7 00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:21,520 Information on the group is spotty, 8 00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:25,394 but we do know they're led by this man, Cyril Figgis. 9 00:00:25,427 --> 00:00:27,532 - Oh, my God. Can you believe this? 10 00:00:27,566 --> 00:00:30,370 - I know. Even a penguin upstaged us. 11 00:00:30,404 --> 00:00:32,441 - No, they think you're in charge of me. 12 00:00:32,474 --> 00:00:33,476 [laughter] 13 00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:34,646 - I'd maybe focus on the fact 14 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,750 that Fabian framed us and vanished. 15 00:00:36,784 --> 00:00:39,590 - On the bright side, it's almost impossible to find 16 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,627 a New York apartment on such short notice. 17 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:43,430 - This isn't an apartment, Krieger, 18 00:00:43,463 --> 00:00:44,666 it's an abandoned safehouse. 19 00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:47,572 The bathroom's in the kitchen, the kitchen is the living room, 20 00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:50,410 and our landlord is a literal cockroach. 21 00:00:50,444 --> 00:00:53,250 - So a New York City apartment. 22 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:54,519 [laughter] 23 00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:55,722 [cheers and applause] 24 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:58,561 - Do you guys think our cute neighbor has a crush on me? 25 00:00:58,594 --> 00:01:00,698 Scrawny, huge overbite, always scurrying around. 26 00:01:00,732 --> 00:01:04,238 - That's a sewer rat, and he has a brood of children. 27 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,474 - Ew! He has kids? 28 00:01:05,508 --> 00:01:07,579 [mimics buzzer] Dealbreaker. 29 00:01:07,612 --> 00:01:09,683 - Stop with the sitcom sound effects. 30 00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:13,557 [groans] - But it's so boring here. 31 00:01:13,591 --> 00:01:15,662 - Pam, I get that you are incapable of living 32 00:01:15,695 --> 00:01:18,601 without extreme overstimulation and/or violence, 33 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:20,437 but we have bigger problems. 34 00:01:20,470 --> 00:01:21,640 - What? Where? I'll kill them. 35 00:01:21,674 --> 00:01:23,544 - Press that and see what happens. 36 00:01:23,577 --> 00:01:25,548 - Look, AJ's custody hearing is today 37 00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:27,484 and I'd rather not show up and get nabbed. 38 00:01:27,519 --> 00:01:28,888 Krieger, where are we on counter-surveillance? 39 00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:33,430 man: All units, be advised, FBI and NSA inbound. 40 00:01:33,463 --> 00:01:34,800 - But that could be about anybody... 41 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:38,273 who they're looking for at our workplace, homes, and-- 42 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,208 oh, no. 43 00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:40,578 - Why the feds got their panties in a wad? 44 00:01:40,612 --> 00:01:41,580 We barely did shit. 45 00:01:41,614 --> 00:01:43,884 - Besides destabilizing a global finance center, 46 00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:46,624 killing someone with a train, and robbing a literal bank? 47 00:01:46,657 --> 00:01:49,663 - [groans] People are so sensitive. 48 00:01:49,696 --> 00:01:51,466 - And this is weird. They're surveilling 49 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,736 all of our places except Ray's. 50 00:01:52,769 --> 00:01:54,640 - Oh, I don't know. Maybe he got nabbed 51 00:01:54,673 --> 00:01:57,545 by any of the 50 agencies hunting us like dogs. 52 00:01:57,579 --> 00:01:59,750 - What if he flipped? Maybe he's tray-cherous. 53 00:01:59,783 --> 00:02:02,522 - Oh, wouldn't tray-tor have been-- 54 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:04,392 - A million times worse? Absolutely. 55 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,427 - Who cares? 56 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:06,497 We're going to prison for life, 57 00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:07,499 and we'll die in a cage. 58 00:02:07,532 --> 00:02:10,538 [laughter] 59 00:02:10,571 --> 00:02:11,640 - [grunts] - [groans] 60 00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:13,511 - Okay, hilarious as it is 61 00:02:13,544 --> 00:02:14,746 to watch Cyril confront his mortality, 62 00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:18,320 I have just now devised a plan to get Lana to the hearing, 63 00:02:18,353 --> 00:02:19,455 you guys to safety, 64 00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:21,794 and me to non-sewer air, likely tropical. 65 00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:24,398 - How? I'd add something sassy here, 66 00:02:24,432 --> 00:02:25,535 but Archer broke my phone. 67 00:02:25,568 --> 00:02:26,637 - We run a series of distractions 68 00:02:26,670 --> 00:02:27,672 during the hearing. 69 00:02:27,706 --> 00:02:30,611 A distraction relay, if you will. 70 00:02:30,645 --> 00:02:33,617 Then we flee to Cheryl's plane on--what did you call it? 71 00:02:33,651 --> 00:02:35,588 - Long Island. - Gross. 72 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:36,724 - Tell me about it, but apparently, 73 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:40,364 major airports hate when you transport tons of bombs 74 00:02:40,397 --> 00:02:41,500 or even say the word bomb. 75 00:02:41,533 --> 00:02:44,539 - Which we'll use for the most noble cause possible, 76 00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:45,808 finding Fabian and crushing him. 77 00:02:45,842 --> 00:02:48,581 Come on, damn it. We've thwarted cartels, 78 00:02:48,614 --> 00:02:50,651 kingpins, cyborg Barry armies, 79 00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:52,655 and we're gonna lose to this English prick? 80 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:55,528 So let's get up, act like the spies we are, 81 00:02:55,561 --> 00:02:57,464 and kick some II-Ass. 82 00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:58,601 - All right. - Hell, yeah. 83 00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,772 - Aw, thank you, but all this is because 84 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,542 you ran out of booze last night, isn't it? 85 00:03:02,575 --> 00:03:04,378 - What? No. 86 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,418 It was this morning. 87 00:03:07,451 --> 00:03:10,390 [main title theme] 88 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:17,371 ♪ ♪ 89 00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:47,464 We're in the heart 90 00:03:47,499 --> 00:03:48,567 of New York and we're disguised 91 00:03:48,601 --> 00:03:49,503 as a landscaping company? 92 00:03:49,536 --> 00:03:51,740 - You made me paint over the other one. 93 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:54,412 - [groans] Strained, at best. 94 00:03:54,445 --> 00:03:55,715 - [groans] 95 00:03:55,748 --> 00:03:57,685 - Lana, you don a disguise and make your way 96 00:03:57,719 --> 00:03:59,623 to the courtroom for AJ's custody hearing. 97 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,727 - Great, AJ can watch me get arrested in person 98 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,533 instead of on the news. - Just trust me, Lana. 99 00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:05,635 The distraction relay will work, 100 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:08,674 but to pull it off, it has to run like clockwork. 101 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,745 - Can't we just fart our way through this like usual? 102 00:04:10,778 --> 00:04:12,849 - No, we need each distraction on schedule. 103 00:04:12,882 --> 00:04:14,753 Otherwise, they'll catch wind about Lana. 104 00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:17,592 So that means no freelancing, no tying up loose ends, 105 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,596 and no personal bullshit. 106 00:04:19,629 --> 00:04:20,865 all: [groans] - Come on. 107 00:04:20,898 --> 00:04:22,802 - And what are you griping about, Cyril? 108 00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:26,577 Your life is so empty that your emergency contact is 911. 109 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:27,779 - Hey, I have a full life. 110 00:04:27,812 --> 00:04:29,048 I've got plenty of things I could tie up. 111 00:04:29,081 --> 00:04:32,722 - Like using your punch card to get a free pizza from Teddie's. 112 00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:35,595 - [sighs] No. I'm still two short. 113 00:04:35,628 --> 00:04:36,730 - Now, if you'll excuse me, 114 00:04:36,763 --> 00:04:40,638 I gotta go distract the police by being hot as hell. 115 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:41,707 [motorcycle revs] 116 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:44,546 - Sorry. These new actuators are a little balky. 117 00:04:44,579 --> 00:04:46,449 Just a sec. 118 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:53,463 Just a... 119 00:04:55,535 --> 00:04:56,503 Sec. 120 00:04:56,537 --> 00:04:58,741 - Man, if I'd peeled out right after I said that, 121 00:04:58,774 --> 00:05:01,547 you guys would've gone full Sploosh Mountain. 122 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,818 [motorcycle engine roars] 123 00:05:03,851 --> 00:05:07,625 - Uh, damn. That was pretty hot. 124 00:05:07,659 --> 00:05:10,665 [brakes screech] 125 00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:11,733 - You know, Lana, there's a chance 126 00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:12,802 you walk in there, get arrested, 127 00:05:12,836 --> 00:05:15,641 and go to jail for the rest of your life, right? 128 00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:16,877 - If I walk in there and get arrested 129 00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:18,781 or I don't walk in there at all, 130 00:05:18,814 --> 00:05:20,651 either way, I never see AJ again. 131 00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:21,820 What's the difference? 132 00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,591 - Bars on your bedroom and shitty food, 133 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,826 but point taken. 134 00:05:24,860 --> 00:05:27,866 Oh, and Lana, try not to get photographed in that babushka. 135 00:05:27,899 --> 00:05:30,003 If the Polish are ever taken seriously in the country, 136 00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:33,476 that costume would definitely come back to haunt you. 137 00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:35,915 - You know, I wouldn't say haunted. 138 00:05:35,948 --> 00:05:37,952 I just think my written test score 139 00:05:37,986 --> 00:05:39,856 is getting in the way of a promotion. 140 00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:40,992 - [sighs] That's not important. 141 00:05:41,025 --> 00:05:44,799 Okay, being a field agent isn't about written tests. 142 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:46,703 - I also did bad on the skills part. 143 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,574 - Um, that's less not important, 144 00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:49,809 so let's practice. 145 00:05:49,843 --> 00:05:51,813 You see him. You say-- 146 00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:53,984 - Um, stop. You're under arrest? 147 00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,823 - Okay, are you asking me or are you telling me? 148 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,596 - Telling? Wait, no. Asking. Pass. 149 00:05:59,629 --> 00:06:00,665 - Wait a second. Is that-- 150 00:06:00,698 --> 00:06:02,802 [motorcycle engine roars] 151 00:06:02,835 --> 00:06:04,773 - Excuse me, Officers. 152 00:06:04,806 --> 00:06:05,708 - Not now, please, ma'am. 153 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,814 We're undercover, and it's very important. 154 00:06:08,847 --> 00:06:12,655 - Okay. You want to check those files? 155 00:06:12,689 --> 00:06:14,726 - Can you turn your head? Huh. 156 00:06:14,759 --> 00:06:15,928 Oh, my God, it's her. 157 00:06:15,962 --> 00:06:18,767 - Punch it, Wally. Oh, wait. I'm driving. 158 00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:20,605 [siren blares] 159 00:06:22,976 --> 00:06:24,613 [door opens] Lana: Oh, God. 160 00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:25,815 I'm so sorry I'm late. 161 00:06:25,848 --> 00:06:27,017 The jackass at reception took forever. 162 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,921 Think Frankenstein, but less articulate. 163 00:06:28,954 --> 00:06:31,894 - The individual you referred to as a jackass 164 00:06:31,927 --> 00:06:35,735 happens to be my husband, and he has a speech impediment. 165 00:06:35,768 --> 00:06:37,004 - [chuckles] Um, did I say Frankenstein? 166 00:06:37,037 --> 00:06:38,841 I meant--well, I guess technically 167 00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:40,578 I meant, Frankenstein's monster. 168 00:06:40,611 --> 00:06:41,345 [chuckles] 169 00:06:41,379 --> 00:06:42,682 Oh, God, this is not going well. 170 00:06:42,715 --> 00:06:43,817 - Eh, could be worse. 171 00:06:43,851 --> 00:06:45,821 - Oh, sweetie. Hmm. 172 00:06:45,855 --> 00:06:49,094 - Lana, I am simply blown away by your persistence. 173 00:06:49,128 --> 00:06:52,669 I admire you, not just as a parent, but as a woman. 174 00:06:52,702 --> 00:06:53,704 - Thank you? 175 00:06:53,737 --> 00:06:55,040 I mean, I should be admiring you. 176 00:06:55,073 --> 00:06:57,745 You didn't tell the judge I'm a literal fugitive. 177 00:06:57,779 --> 00:06:58,781 - Gosh, no. 178 00:06:58,814 --> 00:07:01,887 It would disregard AJ's agency as a young woman 179 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,891 and the integrity of our bygone marriage. 180 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,028 - Wow. That's actually really sweet. 181 00:07:06,062 --> 00:07:08,867 - [clears throat] Can we commence please? 182 00:07:08,901 --> 00:07:11,740 - Your Honor, I'm going to present irrefutable proof 183 00:07:11,773 --> 00:07:13,076 that Lana Kane is an unfit mother 184 00:07:13,109 --> 00:07:16,883 and would cause lasting developmental damage to AJ. 185 00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:18,954 - Oh, you bald little shit. 186 00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:20,858 Why not wear a turtleneck to complete the look, 187 00:07:20,891 --> 00:07:22,795 you uncircumcised dick? 188 00:07:22,829 --> 00:07:24,599 - [clears throat] 189 00:07:25,835 --> 00:07:28,741 - Ugh, this is gonna be a long hearing. 190 00:07:28,774 --> 00:07:30,811 [siren wailing] 191 00:07:30,845 --> 00:07:32,815 - Cheryl, cue the distraction. 192 00:07:32,849 --> 00:07:34,886 [siren wailing] 193 00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:36,657 [tires screech] 194 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:40,865 ♪ ♪ 195 00:07:40,898 --> 00:07:42,568 both: [screams] 196 00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:43,804 ♪ ♪ 197 00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:45,741 - [laughs] 198 00:07:45,775 --> 00:07:46,743 [both screaming] 199 00:07:46,777 --> 00:07:47,779 [crash] 200 00:07:47,812 --> 00:07:48,947 - Where'd you get chickens? 201 00:07:48,981 --> 00:07:51,887 - I want to say the chicken store. 202 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,891 ♪ ♪ 203 00:07:53,924 --> 00:07:57,598 - Oh, man. I forgot to say she was under arrest. 204 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:00,103 - Where the hell are you? You're on in five. 205 00:08:00,136 --> 00:08:01,873 - Oh, can someone else take the baton? 206 00:08:01,907 --> 00:08:02,975 I'm tying up a loose end. 207 00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:05,815 Cyril: What happened to "no personal bullshit"? 208 00:08:05,848 --> 00:08:07,719 - Yeah, for you guys. You're up. 209 00:08:07,752 --> 00:08:08,554 Cyril: But I'm not ready. 210 00:08:08,587 --> 00:08:10,056 - Oh, for real? Well, in that case, 211 00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,927 I'm gonna do exactly what I was doing 212 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,897 because it's extremely important. 213 00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:15,735 Click. Cyril: Did you just say cl-- 214 00:08:15,768 --> 00:08:16,837 [phone beeps] 215 00:08:17,070 --> 00:08:20,243 - Hey, excuse me. Is this the brothel? 216 00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:25,020 as you can see here 217 00:08:25,053 --> 00:08:26,890 from the exhibit dated that January, 218 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,061 Lana's negligence got AJ kidnapped. 219 00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,034 - What? Separately, nice graphics. 220 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,871 - I was skeptical at first, 221 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,073 but they really were worth the money. 222 00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:37,044 - Hey, I got her back, didn't I? 223 00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:39,916 Plus, that experience taught us all a very valuable lesson. 224 00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:41,787 - And that lesson was... 225 00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:42,822 - Don't get kidnapped? 226 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,859 Oh, and I was super helpful in the firefight. 227 00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:47,097 - And Ms. Kane, what is your job exactly? 228 00:08:47,130 --> 00:08:50,203 - Independent security consultant? 229 00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:53,911 - I'd feel better if that didn't sound like a question. 230 00:08:53,944 --> 00:08:55,614 - So would I. 231 00:08:56,248 --> 00:08:59,054 - All right, little se tback, but we are back on it. 232 00:08:59,088 --> 00:09:00,991 Repeat after me. We are tough. 233 00:09:01,025 --> 00:09:03,897 We are smart. We manifest our own luck. 234 00:09:03,931 --> 00:09:06,001 - We are tough. We are smart. 235 00:09:06,035 --> 00:09:08,774 We--give me that third one again. Sorry. 236 00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:10,009 - [sighs] You know what? 237 00:09:10,043 --> 00:09:12,849 I'm just gonna do a sweep of the courthouse. 238 00:09:12,882 --> 00:09:15,053 Why don't you stay put, Wally? 239 00:09:15,086 --> 00:09:16,923 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 240 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,829 - No. Hello. Hello, I'm a fugitive. 241 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,967 - Oh, shit. Second chance. 242 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,973 Let's do this! - I totally manifested that. 243 00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:29,181 ♪ ♪ 244 00:09:29,214 --> 00:09:31,987 - Why is he so good at roller skating? 245 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:35,761 [disco music] 246 00:09:35,795 --> 00:09:37,965 [banging on wall] 247 00:09:37,999 --> 00:09:39,936 - Sorry, Mrs. Fentooli. 248 00:09:39,969 --> 00:09:42,174 I just got lost in the skating. 249 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,979 [laughs] Look at me now, Mrs. Fentooli. 250 00:09:45,013 --> 00:09:46,148 - Need backup. Central Park. 251 00:09:46,182 --> 00:09:49,589 In pursuit of a dork on roller skates. 252 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:51,960 - Madame Trinett e, you know this guy? 253 00:09:51,993 --> 00:09:52,995 - We're old friends. 254 00:09:53,029 --> 00:09:55,233 - Does friends mean, "teamed up with my nemesis 255 00:09:55,266 --> 00:09:58,039 "for a dubious paternity test to bleed money out of me 256 00:09:58,072 --> 00:09:59,308 which I used to build a fancy brothel"? 257 00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:03,149 - Fine. Friends with benefits. - That's not what that means. 258 00:10:03,182 --> 00:10:06,055 - Sure it does. I got dental and everything. 259 00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:07,992 - Whatever. I need a favor. 260 00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:10,029 Your clientele are the city's elite, yes? 261 00:10:10,063 --> 00:10:13,202 - Shit, yeah. We got real classy cooze here. 262 00:10:13,236 --> 00:10:15,240 - I assume you keep dirt on everyone who comes in here 263 00:10:15,273 --> 00:10:18,780 and every other rich person they talk shit about. 264 00:10:18,814 --> 00:10:19,849 - Of course not. 265 00:10:19,883 --> 00:10:20,918 The cops leave us alone 266 00:10:20,951 --> 00:10:22,154 because they're nice. 267 00:10:22,187 --> 00:10:24,158 Hey, to survive in this business, 268 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,128 sometimes you gotta pull strings. 269 00:10:26,162 --> 00:10:27,965 - Or whatever else needs pulling. 270 00:10:27,999 --> 00:10:30,003 Look, Trinette, I need everything you know 271 00:10:30,036 --> 00:10:31,205 about a billionaire named Robert-- 272 00:10:31,238 --> 00:10:34,011 - Hell no. I don't let anything leak. 273 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:35,981 - Look, Trinette, it's not for me. 274 00:10:36,015 --> 00:10:37,184 It's for my daughter. 275 00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:40,056 Unless I can smear Robert, he's gonna take AJ from Lana, 276 00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:43,262 which means I wouldn't get to see her. 277 00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:47,103 - You know, you're lucky that having a kid made me a wimp. 278 00:10:47,137 --> 00:10:49,274 Careful with that, you puke. - Thanks, Trinette. 279 00:10:49,308 --> 00:10:51,913 You know, we had some good times, didn't we? 280 00:10:51,947 --> 00:10:53,984 - No, you paid me for sex. 281 00:10:54,017 --> 00:10:55,353 - Fair enough. Give Seamus my best, 282 00:10:55,386 --> 00:10:57,892 but would it kill you to send him to lacrosse camp? 283 00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,996 - If it made him like you, yes. 284 00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:01,265 - For that, I'm taking a shot glass. 285 00:11:01,298 --> 00:11:03,971 - Go ahead. You bought all this anyway. 286 00:11:04,004 --> 00:11:06,977 And hey, Archer, I really look forward 287 00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:09,716 to seeing your next check. 288 00:11:09,749 --> 00:11:10,951 [laughs] 289 00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:13,289 - So you're telling me that you used to have a stable job, 290 00:11:13,322 --> 00:11:16,095 but now you're effectively unemployed. 291 00:11:16,128 --> 00:11:18,132 - Self-employed-ish. 292 00:11:18,165 --> 00:11:20,036 Do I get bonus points for saving the world on, 293 00:11:20,069 --> 00:11:22,007 like, two separate occasions? 294 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,977 - You would if I believed you. 295 00:11:24,011 --> 00:11:27,017 - And? - I do not. 296 00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:29,054 - I've never felt so free. 297 00:11:29,087 --> 00:11:31,960 Eat my skate dust, you-- 298 00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:34,031 well, just eat it. [laughs] 299 00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:35,133 - Okay, we might be really bad at this. 300 00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:37,304 - Hey, we've got to stop the cycle of screwing up, 301 00:11:37,337 --> 00:11:40,143 beating ourselves up about it, and then losing confidence, 302 00:11:40,176 --> 00:11:42,047 and then screwing up even more. 303 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,917 Instead... [bell rings] 304 00:11:43,951 --> 00:11:44,986 Let's treat ourselves. 305 00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:48,827 - Okay, if this is reverse psychology, I like it. 306 00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:53,069 - Archer, it's your turn. 307 00:11:53,102 --> 00:11:55,006 Have you done anything useful today? 308 00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:56,242 - Yes, I've made you angry, 309 00:11:56,275 --> 00:11:58,045 thereby taking years off your life. 310 00:11:58,079 --> 00:12:00,116 - But-- - That's good for the world. 311 00:12:00,149 --> 00:12:01,352 But I actually have to get this file to Lana 312 00:12:01,385 --> 00:12:03,155 before the hearing's over, so we'll need 313 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,159 one final distraction, and it's not like you 314 00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:06,328 have personal shit to take care of. 315 00:12:06,362 --> 00:12:08,132 - But how will I get their attention 316 00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:10,336 when apparently, I'm the most boring man alive? 317 00:12:10,370 --> 00:12:13,309 - Oh, Cyril, I've spent hundreds of hours 318 00:12:13,342 --> 00:12:15,346 trying to figure out how one man could have 319 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:19,254 so little going on, but with your lack of charisma 320 00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:21,191 and devotion to wasting your life, 321 00:12:21,225 --> 00:12:24,064 bystanders can't help but be utterly mystified by you. 322 00:12:24,097 --> 00:12:25,300 - Wow. That's--wait. 323 00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,939 None of what you just said is positive. 324 00:12:27,972 --> 00:12:29,776 - Thanks. Wish me luck. 325 00:12:30,376 --> 00:12:33,349 - In conclusion, to quot e the great Robert Marley, 326 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,155 "Me don't dip on the Black man side. 327 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,927 "Me don't dip on the white man side. 328 00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:41,231 Me dip on God's side." 329 00:12:41,265 --> 00:12:44,004 - I'm gonna need a five minute recess. 330 00:12:44,171 --> 00:12:45,106 - How's it going? - [gro ans] 331 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:47,310 - Well, that's about to change. - What's this? 332 00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:50,183 - A file on Robert. You think he smeared you? 333 00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:53,189 Every shady investment, every masquerade orgy, 334 00:12:53,222 --> 00:12:56,128 every racist joke he told in an elevator is in here. 335 00:12:56,161 --> 00:12:57,163 You can bury him. 336 00:12:57,197 --> 00:12:59,167 - How do you have this and--oh. 337 00:12:59,201 --> 00:13:00,269 Why does it smell like a whorehouse? 338 00:13:00,303 --> 00:13:04,912 - Uh, let's just say we have friends in low places. 339 00:13:04,946 --> 00:13:06,549 Like whorehouses. 340 00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:11,158 - [sighs] No. I can't. 341 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,360 - What? Lana, why? 342 00:13:12,394 --> 00:13:15,233 - Because then I'm no better than that bow tied ball bag. 343 00:13:15,266 --> 00:13:17,203 [sighs] We need to talk. 344 00:13:17,237 --> 00:13:19,241 - I know that some of this seems harsh, 345 00:13:19,274 --> 00:13:21,145 but it's important for the judge to know 346 00:13:21,178 --> 00:13:23,950 what kind of home you'll be providing for AJ. 347 00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:24,952 - It's not that. 348 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,326 I think we should just stop this and let AJ choose. 349 00:13:28,359 --> 00:13:30,263 For her sake, she doesn't need to hear 350 00:13:30,296 --> 00:13:32,133 any more dirt about either of us. 351 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:33,202 - Are you sure? 352 00:13:33,235 --> 00:13:36,308 I want to be respectful of her autonomy and yours, 353 00:13:36,342 --> 00:13:38,346 but you're really going to ask her to choose between 354 00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:41,151 a barren apartment and a mansion 355 00:13:41,185 --> 00:13:43,222 with its own bowling alley/arcade? 356 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,993 - I just want what's best for her, 357 00:13:45,026 --> 00:13:45,828 and it's not this hearing. 358 00:13:45,861 --> 00:13:49,034 Wait a minute. A bowling alley/arcade? 359 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,036 I've never seen that. 360 00:13:50,069 --> 00:13:53,109 - It's a--it's a big house. 361 00:13:53,142 --> 00:13:54,111 - Look at me when I'm talking to you. 362 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:57,350 You are the FBI, and no one can take that away. 363 00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:59,254 Unless, of course, the FBI fires you. 364 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:01,291 Don't think about that. [phone buzzes] 365 00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:03,362 - Oh, wow. Okay. Our mole has, in fact, 366 00:14:03,396 --> 00:14:05,199 confirmed that the target is inside. 367 00:14:05,233 --> 00:14:06,368 Are you ready? - One second. 368 00:14:06,402 --> 00:14:09,107 That's right. You got this. Quick, but not too quick. 369 00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:12,013 Mm, mm. Ah, brain freeze. 370 00:14:12,047 --> 00:14:13,850 - [sighs] 371 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,420 - Since this hearing started, 372 00:14:15,453 --> 00:14:18,560 I've thought a lot about myself and my future. 373 00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:22,200 I love both of you guys, and you're both good people, 374 00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:24,404 so I know there's no wrong choice. 375 00:14:24,438 --> 00:14:26,275 And in these tough couple months, 376 00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:29,081 Daddy has been so supportive and caring. 377 00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:30,183 And I've never had so much 378 00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:32,087 Trifola d'alba Madonna in my life. 379 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,322 - Trifolda--what's that now? 380 00:14:33,355 --> 00:14:35,359 - Most expensive truffles on Earth. 381 00:14:35,393 --> 00:14:37,297 She has her father's palate. 382 00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:40,236 - Robert, I love you very much, 383 00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:42,440 but it's obviously Mom, duh. 384 00:14:42,474 --> 00:14:45,246 Like, it's just so weird that you're even doing this. 385 00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:47,350 What are you thinking? - Kid goes to Mom. 386 00:14:47,383 --> 00:14:49,254 Honestly, she's screwed either way. 387 00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:50,490 Court adjourned. 388 00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:54,297 - What an untraditional family we are, but we make it work. 389 00:14:54,331 --> 00:14:55,333 - Who are you again? 390 00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:56,569 - I know you're joking, 391 00:14:56,603 --> 00:15:00,109 but that was absolutely devastating. 392 00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:01,311 Nice work. 393 00:15:01,345 --> 00:15:04,217 - I am so, so happy. 394 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,288 - About losing custody? - No, no, no. 395 00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:09,361 Don't you see? I pushed for this trial 396 00:15:09,394 --> 00:15:12,601 so you would see firsthand, AJ chose you. 397 00:15:12,635 --> 00:15:16,543 You're not a mom by default. You're her mother. 398 00:15:16,576 --> 00:15:20,283 - Cool. Bizarre mind games from an eccentric billionaire. 399 00:15:20,316 --> 00:15:22,387 Who could've guessed? You goddamn weirdo. 400 00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,359 - Language, but correct. [phone buzzes] 401 00:15:25,393 --> 00:15:27,430 God, tipping off the FBI. 402 00:15:27,464 --> 00:15:29,367 So much for respecting our autonomy. 403 00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:31,171 Thanks for nothing, asshole. 404 00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,641 - Nothing? Are you kidding me? 405 00:15:32,675 --> 00:15:37,250 I spent, like, $20 million keeping the damn Agency afloat. 406 00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:39,454 - Well, thank you for that. 407 00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:44,197 Now go eat $20 million worth of shit. 408 00:15:44,231 --> 00:15:46,135 [dramatic music] 409 00:15:46,168 --> 00:15:47,103 Krieger, we've been made. 410 00:15:47,137 --> 00:15:49,274 We need a distraction-- something, anything. 411 00:15:49,307 --> 00:15:50,611 - Um, Cyril, do something. 412 00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:53,382 - But I already did my one thing, the roller skates. 413 00:15:53,415 --> 00:15:54,552 I'm out of moves. 414 00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,523 - Come on. There's gotta be something. 415 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,194 We gotta think big. We gotta think-- 416 00:15:59,227 --> 00:16:01,499 - Absolutely enormous. 417 00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:04,437 I mean, does he need special pants? 418 00:16:04,471 --> 00:16:08,145 - I swear to God, it looked at me. 419 00:16:08,345 --> 00:16:09,481 - Courts have side entra nces? 420 00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:12,253 - It's called a celebrity door, Lana, 421 00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:13,389 you philistine. 422 00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:17,463 ♪ ♪ 423 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,502 Whoo! That was awesome. 424 00:16:19,535 --> 00:16:22,608 Now all we've gotta do is get off the island of Manhattan 425 00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:28,219 with the entire FBI after us blocking all the roads. 426 00:16:28,252 --> 00:16:30,122 - Roads? Where we're going, 427 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,093 we don't need roads. 428 00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:37,403 ♪ ♪ 429 00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:39,675 - Whoa, Krieger, hovercraft. 430 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:43,215 - Krieger, we're only going, like, five miles an hour. 431 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,092 - [chuckles] Try six. 432 00:16:53,503 --> 00:16:55,406 Archer: Doesn't this thing go any faster? 433 00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:58,145 Or am I gonna die in this windowless van 434 00:16:58,178 --> 00:16:59,014 like a missing teen? 435 00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:01,251 - He said in a van with his daughter. 436 00:17:01,285 --> 00:17:02,420 - Will you relax? 437 00:17:02,453 --> 00:17:04,625 [foghorn blows] [yelps] 438 00:17:04,659 --> 00:17:07,330 - Oh, it looks like some sad adults. 439 00:17:07,363 --> 00:17:08,600 - Trinette? - Archer. 440 00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:11,338 What are you, obsessed with me now? 441 00:17:11,371 --> 00:17:13,342 - You do house calls? Why a boat? 442 00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:17,350 - International waters, bro. No rules. Whoo! 443 00:17:17,383 --> 00:17:18,385 [laughter] - Not true, 444 00:17:18,419 --> 00:17:21,358 and it's extremely creepy that you want that. 445 00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,393 - Trinette, I'm gonna level with you. 446 00:17:22,427 --> 00:17:23,395 We need to switch boats. 447 00:17:23,429 --> 00:17:26,435 - I already done enough favors for you today. 448 00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:28,439 Get out of here. - Wait. Wait. Wait. 449 00:17:28,472 --> 00:17:31,378 I have a well thought out, persuasive argument. 450 00:17:31,411 --> 00:17:32,347 [gun cocks] 451 00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:34,585 All right, now, fair is fair, finance snobs. 452 00:17:34,619 --> 00:17:36,656 Empty your wallets for Trinette and her girls. 453 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,227 - Aren't they just gonna take their money back when we leave? 454 00:17:39,261 --> 00:17:40,797 - Good point. 455 00:17:41,298 --> 00:17:44,204 Now, you boys share that. Be good. 456 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:46,576 You think those guys know how to swim? 457 00:17:46,609 --> 00:17:49,447 I probably should've asked. - Eh, I think you're fine. 458 00:17:49,481 --> 00:17:51,418 - Heads up. Sea pigs. 459 00:17:51,451 --> 00:17:54,291 - Shut up. The FBI has Jet Skis? 460 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:57,330 - Whoo-hoo! I love civil forfeiture. 461 00:17:57,363 --> 00:17:58,533 - We got these from criminals? 462 00:17:58,566 --> 00:18:00,403 - Fun fact. They don't even have to be 463 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:01,673 guilty for us to take their stuff. 464 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,545 - That cannot be true. - It is, though. 465 00:18:04,578 --> 00:18:08,285 - Whoo! Jet Ski! - Whoo! 466 00:18:08,553 --> 00:18:12,293 - [groans] - Where did you get that? 467 00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:13,530 [knock on door] 468 00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:15,333 - Pam, what are you doing here? 469 00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:16,536 - Shh, I need a favor. 470 00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:18,607 - Anything, my darling. - First-- 471 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,280 [both moaning] [fireworks whistle and crackle] 472 00:18:22,615 --> 00:18:26,154 - You probably shouldn't set off fire works indoors. 473 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,457 Yeah? 474 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,262 - Agree to disagree. 475 00:18:32,501 --> 00:18:35,607 Alessia made us a care package. Ka-boom. 476 00:18:35,641 --> 00:18:37,310 - Okay, you can never break up with her. 477 00:18:37,343 --> 00:18:39,347 - Oh, my God, I love her. 478 00:18:39,381 --> 00:18:40,517 - Those were warning shots. 479 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,721 Stop the boat or we will open fire. 480 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,328 - AJ, honey, get below and stay down. AJ? 481 00:18:46,361 --> 00:18:48,299 - [mocking] Oh, AJ, get below 482 00:18:48,332 --> 00:18:49,267 and stay down. 483 00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:51,438 - We will discuss your tone later, missy. 484 00:18:51,471 --> 00:18:52,541 - Well, hello. 485 00:18:52,574 --> 00:18:55,580 I'm gonna name you the solution to all my problems. 486 00:18:55,614 --> 00:18:57,718 - Or maybe we don't blow up 487 00:18:57,751 --> 00:18:59,487 the boat full of government employees. 488 00:18:59,522 --> 00:19:00,524 - They started it. 489 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:03,228 - Party boat. Let's do this. 490 00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:06,636 - Whoo-hoo ! Waterskiing. 491 00:19:06,669 --> 00:19:10,209 - [laughs] Little too slow for me. 492 00:19:10,242 --> 00:19:11,111 Whoa! 493 00:19:11,144 --> 00:19:12,648 - Come on. Try not to actually hit him. 494 00:19:12,681 --> 00:19:16,388 - This is not what you'd call a precision operation. 495 00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,158 [explosions] 496 00:19:20,497 --> 00:19:22,166 - [groans] 497 00:19:23,636 --> 00:19:27,243 - Oh, yeah, redemption. Ah! 498 00:19:28,513 --> 00:19:30,550 - I got an idea, 499 00:19:30,584 --> 00:19:32,487 but you're gonna have to unkink your panties 500 00:19:32,521 --> 00:19:34,424 for about 30 goddamn seconds. 501 00:19:34,457 --> 00:19:36,228 - Do I have to? 502 00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,539 - Damn it, I'm out. - Me too. 503 00:19:41,572 --> 00:19:42,708 - I need you to reach into my pocket. 504 00:19:42,741 --> 00:19:44,678 - Ah, Jesus. You have an erection? 505 00:19:44,712 --> 00:19:47,551 - It's a shot glass, but also, yes. 506 00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,222 Use it. The shot glass, I mean. 507 00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:52,528 - [screams] 508 00:19:52,561 --> 00:19:55,332 - [laughs] Whoo! 509 00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:02,246 [explosion] 510 00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:06,455 - Why did you have that? 511 00:20:06,488 --> 00:20:09,528 - Friends in low places, like whorehouses. 512 00:20:09,562 --> 00:20:10,664 - I know what you meant. 513 00:20:10,697 --> 00:20:12,801 - Consider my panties unkinked. 514 00:20:12,835 --> 00:20:14,672 - Is that in reference to something? 515 00:20:14,705 --> 00:20:17,978 - Oh, that wasn't you guys. Never mind. 516 00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:23,556 [gun cocks] - Hi. Sorry about the gun. 517 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,560 I'll need the golf cart. - Aw, man. 518 00:20:25,594 --> 00:20:27,397 - Don't be like that. 519 00:20:28,566 --> 00:20:30,537 - Uh, anyone know where we're going? 520 00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:31,506 - Or who's gonna fly the plane? 521 00:20:31,539 --> 00:20:33,610 - Uh, this is really as far as my plan went. 522 00:20:33,643 --> 00:20:36,415 [engine roars] 523 00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:37,818 - Well, I guess we lost them. 524 00:20:37,851 --> 00:20:41,592 - No, you've inspired me today, and I am not giving up. 525 00:20:41,626 --> 00:20:43,429 Well, hello, beautiful. 526 00:20:49,608 --> 00:20:51,411 man: I see you finally made it. 527 00:20:53,516 --> 00:20:54,585 [clicks] 528 00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:55,854 - Did you turn off the safety? 529 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,724 - You don't know it has a safety. 530 00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:01,966 [explosion] 531 00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:04,772 You know what? That's it. I quit. 532 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,609 I'm gonna go back to clown college. 533 00:21:06,642 --> 00:21:07,644 - I'll be right there behind you. 534 00:21:07,678 --> 00:21:09,648 Slater: Ah, goddamn it. 535 00:21:09,682 --> 00:21:11,586 What the fuck, Archer? 536 00:21:11,619 --> 00:21:13,756 - Slater, it's you. I'm so sorry. 537 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:17,764 I should've shot you twice. - Wow. You look-- 538 00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,602 - Really bad. - [groans] 539 00:21:19,635 --> 00:21:20,637 - Jesus, the CIA's involved now? 540 00:21:20,670 --> 00:21:22,875 Could we just skip all the usual agro-bullshit 541 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:25,747 and get to the point? - Your old boss, Fabian, 542 00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:28,887 used that blackmail info you stole from the bank to destabilize 543 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,528 the country of Manatina, where he's now fled. 544 00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:33,630 - Hey, in our defense, 545 00:21:33,663 --> 00:21:35,667 we didn't know it was blackmail info. 546 00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:36,869 - So your defense is you're stupid. 547 00:21:36,903 --> 00:21:40,510 - I'd also like to say that in my defense, he's stupid. 548 00:21:40,544 --> 00:21:41,746 - So what are you doing here? 549 00:21:41,779 --> 00:21:42,815 You're not domestic law enforcement. 550 00:21:42,848 --> 00:21:46,622 - The better question is what is Ray doing here. 551 00:21:46,656 --> 00:21:47,524 [all gasp] 552 00:21:47,558 --> 00:21:49,829 Lana: Oh, my God, Ray really did flip. 553 00:21:49,862 --> 00:21:52,835 This is hopeless. - Now, hang on one minute. 554 00:21:52,868 --> 00:21:55,707 Just because Ray sucks doesn't mean we do too. 555 00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:56,843 I've done more living in the past day 556 00:21:56,876 --> 00:22:00,550 than I have in years, and I don't intend to stop now, 557 00:22:00,584 --> 00:22:01,919 so to borrow a phrase, 558 00:22:01,953 --> 00:22:06,562 "Let's get it together and kick some II-Ass." 559 00:22:06,596 --> 00:22:08,533 [cheers and applause] 560 00:22:08,566 --> 00:22:09,602 And you know what? 561 00:22:09,635 --> 00:22:11,772 While we're at it, I have an announcement to make. 562 00:22:11,806 --> 00:22:14,477 I'm ready to start dating again. 563 00:22:15,614 --> 00:22:17,684 [laughter] 564 00:22:17,718 --> 00:22:20,524 - You haven't dated since Lana? 565 00:22:20,557 --> 00:22:21,926 - What? You wait one year 566 00:22:21,959 --> 00:22:23,830 for every month you dated someone. 567 00:22:23,863 --> 00:22:26,702 - No, it's the opposite of that. 568 00:22:26,736 --> 00:22:27,804 - [groans] 569 00:22:27,838 --> 00:22:29,575 Know when to stop talking, Cyril. 570 00:22:29,608 --> 00:22:31,712 - Oh, God, I miss this. 571 00:22:31,746 --> 00:22:33,683 - Please, never learn that. 572 00:22:33,716 --> 00:22:35,720 God, thank you so much, Cyril. 573 00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:38,458 It just feels so good... - To laugh? 574 00:22:38,493 --> 00:22:39,662 - To not be you. 575 00:22:39,695 --> 00:22:43,368 [laughter] 576 00:22:43,736 --> 00:22:50,784 ♪ ♪ 577 00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:05,747 - Made in Georgia.