1 00:00:06,823 --> 00:00:08,832 Darlene hoards everything. 2 00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:11,468 Everything. There is no limit. 3 00:00:11,503 --> 00:00:12,428 She's going to end up creating 4 00:00:12,504 --> 00:00:14,613 A death trap for herself. 5 00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:15,764 She's sleeping outside because she had- 6 00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,841 Hold on, she's sleeping outside? 7 00:00:17,876 --> 00:00:21,261 It's not safe, and she's the perfect victim. 8 00:00:21,338 --> 00:00:22,204 This is keep! 9 00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:23,930 -You want to keep all this? -Yes! 10 00:00:23,965 --> 00:00:26,816 These empty boxes, they're literally garbage. 11 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,636 Micaela! ----! Like, no! 12 00:00:29,713 --> 00:00:30,712 There's bugs in it. 13 00:00:30,789 --> 00:00:32,606 You see something different than I see. 14 00:00:32,682 --> 00:00:35,041 -It was outdated 20 years ago. -I don't care! 15 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,260 I have no idea how she's gonna 16 00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:37,786 Get through all the other stuff. 17 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,346 ♪ 18 00:00:39,381 --> 00:00:40,914 Oh, my god. 19 00:00:40,949 --> 00:00:42,857 You guys think it's garbage, it's not! 20 00:00:42,935 --> 00:00:43,934 I'm here to help you! 21 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,620 I put my whole ------- life on hold for you! 22 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,196 It's been rough. 23 00:00:48,274 --> 00:00:50,532 I am standing up for that little girl that never had a voice. 24 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:51,716 I am doing it my way. 25 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:52,867 We're out of ------- time. 26 00:00:52,978 --> 00:00:56,613 I came in here with a plan. Obviously, it's not working. 27 00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:57,806 This is a cleanup fail. 28 00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,650 -[crying] -it's okay. 29 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:09,526 ♪ 30 00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:28,586 ♪ 31 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:33,074 ♪ 32 00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:46,529 ♪ 33 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,090 Oh, I've changed it around, I don't remember where I put it. 34 00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:52,869 ♪ 35 00:01:52,871 --> 00:01:54,095 My name is darlene... 36 00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:57,825 And I am surrounded by a complete mystical mess. 37 00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,509 I don't really like to do labels in life, 38 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,154 But I probably would be in denial to think that 39 00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:04,547 I didn't have hoarding tendencies. 40 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,376 ♪ 41 00:02:07,485 --> 00:02:09,128 Some people are like, 42 00:02:09,204 --> 00:02:12,463 "wow, your house is like an oracle's haven." 43 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,541 ♪ 44 00:02:14,576 --> 00:02:17,885 It's a very confusing... 45 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,880 Assembly of... 46 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,724 ♪ 47 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,560 ...My healing artifacts. 48 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,563 And crystals and books. 49 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,415 Empty containers or alchemy stuff. 50 00:02:30,492 --> 00:02:32,409 ♪ 51 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,235 Boxes and... 52 00:02:34,313 --> 00:02:36,713 Trying things out and... 53 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,666 Things stacked, and weirdness. 54 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:44,120 My room looks like a festival puked all over the place. 55 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:49,959 ♪ 56 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,670 As a makeup artist on film sets, 57 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,504 When I try to do my makeup in the morning, 58 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:55,590 I don't have a place to sit down and do it, 59 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,434 So sometimes I do it in my bed, 60 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,003 Or I go into the living room. 61 00:03:00,038 --> 00:03:02,513 Kitchen is like... 62 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,351 Too many machines and not enough space. 63 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,677 [groaning] 64 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,620 That back room, 65 00:03:08,697 --> 00:03:10,314 I've emptied it like five times. 66 00:03:10,349 --> 00:03:13,083 I just don't know what to do with it. 67 00:03:13,118 --> 00:03:15,260 It's so confusing! 68 00:03:15,337 --> 00:03:16,953 ♪ 69 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,238 My name is johnny. 70 00:03:18,273 --> 00:03:21,699 I am a very close friend of darlene's. 71 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,076 ♪ 72 00:03:23,111 --> 00:03:26,662 That house has really taken over her entire life. 73 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,633 ♪ 74 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,769 She's living outside. 75 00:03:32,804 --> 00:03:36,531 Out. Side. 76 00:03:36,608 --> 00:03:38,966 I am michaela, and darlene is my third cousin. 77 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,052 [dog barking in distance] 78 00:03:40,128 --> 00:03:41,544 It's not safe. 79 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,880 There's an alley right behind her. 80 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,266 She's the perfect victim. 81 00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:49,377 She has wild animals... 82 00:03:49,455 --> 00:03:51,580 Walking through her bed. 83 00:03:51,656 --> 00:03:53,106 ♪ 84 00:03:53,141 --> 00:03:54,657 She has strange... 85 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,644 Men walking through her backyard. 86 00:03:57,721 --> 00:04:00,238 There's no security. 87 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,557 There's, you know, weather. 88 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:04,334 [dog barking] 89 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,563 My fear is the safety of darlene. 90 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,640 I've been feeling so much like a prisoner 91 00:04:10,675 --> 00:04:12,900 Inside the house. 92 00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:14,194 It's actually kind of fun. 93 00:04:14,196 --> 00:04:18,089 It's like my little adult like fort tent thing. 94 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,683 ♪ 95 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,595 [dog howling] 96 00:04:23,672 --> 00:04:27,340 Darlene is not really afraid of anything. 97 00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,843 Darlene is my unique, fun, 98 00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:33,271 Fiery, adventurous cousin. 99 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,982 She's so multifaceted. 100 00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:37,517 Oh, where is the vision...? Oh, yeah, there. 101 00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:41,037 She's smart, spiritual. 102 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,264 ♪ 103 00:04:43,342 --> 00:04:45,008 I did all of these courses and, 104 00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:48,453 Immersed myself in all sorts of healing practices and 105 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:53,049 Therapies on my quest to like try to "fix myself". 106 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,919 This one, I allow the vision. 107 00:04:55,954 --> 00:04:58,688 On the intuitive point, I allow myself to see. 108 00:04:58,723 --> 00:04:59,856 [inhaling] 109 00:04:59,891 --> 00:05:02,559 Growing up I don't think I understood, 110 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,262 From a 5d interconnected perspective. 111 00:05:05,297 --> 00:05:07,447 My soul's journey needed to experience suffering, 112 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:10,050 And my purpose is learning how to alchemize and liberate 113 00:05:10,085 --> 00:05:15,439 The pain, and not be drowning in all the mire forever. 114 00:05:15,474 --> 00:05:18,208 Having a more 5d approach, where I want to move toward 115 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:22,379 More joy and love, even if it's painful and hard. 116 00:05:22,414 --> 00:05:24,755 Ah, but why does sorcery still come up? 117 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,516 Darlene didn't have the easiest life. 118 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:31,729 She's spent a lot of money, therapeutically, with... 119 00:05:31,807 --> 00:05:36,334 Stuff to get her passed out or block it or 120 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,210 Whatever she's trying to do. 121 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,004 Is the heart protector still an issue? 122 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,656 No. Okay, cool. 123 00:05:41,733 --> 00:05:43,991 Didn't feel like it was an issue anymore. 124 00:05:44,069 --> 00:05:48,346 ♪ 125 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,474 I think darlene has so much trauma that 126 00:05:50,476 --> 00:05:53,000 She can't process it properly. 127 00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:55,778 I just don't see the point to, like, go back and 128 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,022 Drum up the past. 129 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,949 Like, who cares? 130 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,569 ♪ 131 00:06:02,604 --> 00:06:04,938 Darlene's mother was lovely. 132 00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,756 There was only a few years of her life that 133 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,699 I got to see her talking. 134 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,853 ♪ 135 00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:14,355 She was beautiful and charming and 136 00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:17,800 Smiling all the time... 137 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,387 Even though she was super sick. 138 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,964 ♪ 139 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,699 [whispers] sorry. 140 00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:26,226 ♪ 141 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,378 I feel so bad for darlene. 142 00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:31,598 ♪ 143 00:06:31,633 --> 00:06:33,875 She had like a very severe type where 144 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:35,468 She was immobile, literally. 145 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,938 Like, some people could have a little bit of mobility 146 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,641 Or dexterity, she had nothing. 147 00:06:41,718 --> 00:06:43,143 My sister was a brittle diabetic, 148 00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,219 Which means it could never regulate 149 00:06:45,297 --> 00:06:47,054 Her blood sugar levels. 150 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:49,799 Not only did she have to get like needles every 151 00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:51,985 Single day, several times a day, she'd make me do it, 152 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,470 Even though I was phobic of it. 153 00:06:53,505 --> 00:06:54,721 She was such a little brat! 154 00:06:54,756 --> 00:06:58,007 She did it because she knew that I hated doing it. 155 00:06:58,009 --> 00:07:02,253 Darlene was very obedient. 156 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,238 I hate saying this, but she was like the kid 157 00:07:04,349 --> 00:07:06,090 With the headgear and, like... 158 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,352 Wore it properly all day, every day. 159 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,079 Darlene is a people pleaser. 160 00:07:12,157 --> 00:07:14,415 I've heard therapists say that having to take care of 161 00:07:14,493 --> 00:07:16,309 My mom from the age of six probably created some 162 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,813 Complex post-traumatic stress syndrome and stuff. 163 00:07:19,848 --> 00:07:23,591 I'm not aware if that affected me because 164 00:07:23,702 --> 00:07:26,987 Taking care of my mom at the age of six was all I knew. 165 00:07:27,022 --> 00:07:31,040 Darlene had not much of a life at all. 166 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:35,603 She was constantly caring for her sister, her mom. 167 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:37,664 She would lift her on the couch, 168 00:07:37,699 --> 00:07:42,002 And change her diapers, and feed her. 169 00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:45,780 I think my dad was there as much as he possibly could. 170 00:07:45,857 --> 00:07:50,135 And I recognize now that he also needed time for himself. 171 00:07:50,212 --> 00:07:52,061 Often he was at the legion or whatever. 172 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,930 And we'd have- we knew the number in our minds, 173 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,958 On speed dial. 174 00:07:57,035 --> 00:07:57,884 I feel there could have been 175 00:07:58,036 --> 00:08:00,294 A little more stepping up from... 176 00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:02,388 Any family members. 177 00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:03,806 I don't think it even occurred to me 178 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,066 To ask for help... 179 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,445 Because like my mom and my sister's life were at stake. 180 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,947 Darlene acted calm, but there was definitely 181 00:08:10,982 --> 00:08:13,566 Something inside of her that felt like she had to 182 00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:16,369 Act perfect and be perfect. 183 00:08:16,404 --> 00:08:19,088 She was the top of everything she did. 184 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:23,543 Last thing anyone needed was for another like "handful". 185 00:08:23,578 --> 00:08:25,912 But I was always super stressed all the time. 186 00:08:25,989 --> 00:08:27,914 In fact, I played piano five times a day. 187 00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:30,433 That was my stress relief, and it was the only time like 188 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,577 I would just, like, manage. 189 00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:44,197 ♪ 190 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,624 When she went into palliative care, 191 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,850 Darlene was free in the world. 192 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,937 I remember the day she died, I was with some friends. 193 00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:52,113 It was like... 194 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,532 [shuddering] something shifted, 195 00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,776 I don't know how I knew, I just felt it. 196 00:08:56,853 --> 00:09:01,856 Darlene was in l.A. When her mom passed away. 197 00:09:01,933 --> 00:09:04,784 It's a very sensitive topic for her. 198 00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:09,889 ♪ 199 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,541 Valerie and I had lots of conversations 200 00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:15,095 About her emotions. 201 00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:17,555 She would write poems and sing. 202 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,615 She was very artistic. 203 00:09:18,617 --> 00:09:20,800 Because I was too busy doing my homework and being a 204 00:09:20,952 --> 00:09:22,969 Good little girl to recognize that my sister, 205 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:25,212 Whom I loved, was suffering. 206 00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:27,990 ♪ 207 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,052 And ultimately, it was the diabetes that she... 208 00:09:31,129 --> 00:09:33,896 Ended up passing from. 209 00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:35,982 After that, darlene was at our house a lot, 210 00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:39,060 And then she came and lived with us for quite a while. 211 00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:46,768 ♪ 212 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:50,613 So, when granny started getting sick in her old age, 213 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,549 Darlene was one of the only people that 214 00:09:52,584 --> 00:09:55,217 Started caring for her granny. 215 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:59,096 Darlene is just automatic like that. 216 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,558 Granny wanted to die at home. 217 00:10:01,593 --> 00:10:03,868 Since that was like her dying wish, 218 00:10:03,945 --> 00:10:06,496 Then I gave up my film career for two years to, like, 219 00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:09,015 Take care of her 24/7. 220 00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:11,559 My grandmother loved this house so much, 221 00:10:11,636 --> 00:10:13,135 She put so much into it. 222 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,071 She had 200 roses in the front yard. 223 00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:17,324 People would come from all over to see this. 224 00:10:17,359 --> 00:10:21,102 But it was always like neat and organized, 225 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:24,547 And she kept everything in immaculate condition. 226 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:27,249 I would never have thought the word hoarder would be 227 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,471 Applied to her, but she did have a lot of stuff. 228 00:10:31,506 --> 00:10:33,523 Granny's house was a tidy, 229 00:10:33,558 --> 00:10:36,876 Chaotic, organized mess. 230 00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:39,929 And with darlene, it's slowly just 231 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,215 Built up, built up, built up. 232 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:47,236 ♪ 233 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,238 I just felt so bullied, you know? 234 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:53,059 So, that franticness, and my inability to make decisions... 235 00:10:53,136 --> 00:10:55,578 "darlene, cleaning rags for you." 236 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,138 ...Equals this. 237 00:10:57,215 --> 00:11:01,050 [laughing] granny. "keep out of my drawers. 238 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:02,568 I worked and paid for everything myself. 239 00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:06,313 It is all personal property." oh, granny, you're so cute. 240 00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,149 [laughing] 241 00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:14,314 ♪ 242 00:11:14,349 --> 00:11:17,250 It's just a very beautiful, powerful process, you know? 243 00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:19,844 And I'm glad that she didn't die alone. 244 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,572 I think darlene losing so many important figures 245 00:11:22,607 --> 00:11:26,016 In her life, it's got her in a lost space. 246 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,410 ♪ 247 00:11:27,412 --> 00:11:32,499 After granny's passing, darlene kind of just... 248 00:11:32,534 --> 00:11:34,401 Let everything go. 249 00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:37,086 I've been asking for support for years 250 00:11:37,121 --> 00:11:40,523 With this clutter fest. 251 00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:42,425 I'm tired of being a lone ranger, 252 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:44,661 Having to do everything by myself all the time. 253 00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:48,372 She has a lot of friends that come, they go. 254 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,632 It's not abandonment, 255 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,436 But it seems like it is to darlene. 256 00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:54,954 Darlene says she's abandoned a lot, 257 00:11:55,031 --> 00:11:58,441 And I think that that actually stems from her past 258 00:11:58,476 --> 00:12:00,543 More than her present. 259 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:04,431 ♪ 260 00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,599 My name is paul, and... 261 00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:10,394 My relationship to dar is I met her through a workshop 262 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,940 That my wife and I teach on energy work. 263 00:12:13,975 --> 00:12:17,051 And what we're helping people to understand is breathing 264 00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:19,053 And their own internal rhythm, 265 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:21,130 Their own heart frequency, 266 00:12:21,165 --> 00:12:23,316 Which is the frequency of love. 267 00:12:23,392 --> 00:12:25,059 ♪ 268 00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:26,886 We form a kind of community as well so, 269 00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:29,472 We got a group together and we came to her home and 270 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,750 We were trying to help her clean up. 271 00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:34,727 As we were trying to take stuff out, 272 00:12:34,762 --> 00:12:36,670 It was too much for her. 273 00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,164 ♪ 274 00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:41,592 My name is jessica, and I'm a friend of darlene's. 275 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,519 I met darlene through an intimacy and 276 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,822 Connection workshop. 277 00:12:45,857 --> 00:12:48,608 I've tried to help her clean up the house. 278 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:52,278 I don't think anybody's been able to get through to her. 279 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,097 [muttering under her breath] ...Go upstairs. 280 00:12:55,132 --> 00:12:57,683 I need a breakthrough. 281 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,987 All the weight and the heaviness of this is like... 282 00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:03,822 [gasping] ...Just so suffocating. 283 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,599 ♪ 284 00:13:05,677 --> 00:13:10,396 My biggest fear for darlene is that she just... 285 00:13:10,548 --> 00:13:13,182 Dies inside that house with all her stuff. 286 00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:15,952 ♪ [suspenseful] 287 00:13:15,987 --> 00:13:19,338 Or a bunch of ---- falls on her. 288 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,625 I just can't stand knowing that she's outside. 289 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:25,678 Being out on a patio in the winter, it's dangerous. 290 00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:28,022 Everything in there right now is dangerous. 291 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:28,948 ♪ [suspenseful] 292 00:13:28,983 --> 00:13:30,216 I actually have driven out there to 293 00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,142 Make sure she's still alive. 294 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,169 If something happened in that house, 295 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,639 In this condition right now... 296 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,567 ♪ 297 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:48,158 ♪ 298 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,603 Darlene hoards everything. 299 00:13:50,755 --> 00:13:53,789 Everything. Anything. 300 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,108 She'll keep the box it came in. 301 00:13:56,186 --> 00:13:57,760 There is no limit. 302 00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,147 She needs a safe place to live. 303 00:14:01,182 --> 00:14:04,074 We've got rains coming, then we have winter, 304 00:14:04,152 --> 00:14:06,602 Which means snow and ice... 305 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,522 And bone chilling cold weather. 306 00:14:09,598 --> 00:14:19,765 ♪ 307 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,819 My biggest fear would be to continue to live like this. 308 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,922 I want to thrive, I don't want to survive. 309 00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:28,115 I'm tired of surviving. 310 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:42,463 ♪ 311 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,630 [knocking] 312 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:44,591 I'm sarah ahmed. 313 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,459 I'm a psychotherapist that specializes in problematic 314 00:14:46,535 --> 00:14:49,128 Behaviors, including hoarding disorder. 315 00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:58,304 ♪ 316 00:14:58,381 --> 00:15:00,823 -Hi! Darlene? -Hello, hi. 317 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,609 Hi, I'm sarah. Nice to meet you. 318 00:15:02,644 --> 00:15:04,568 Hello, hello, hello. [laughing] 319 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,629 -Are you sleeping out here? -Yes. 320 00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:08,414 There's a, a mattress. 321 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,057 -There's a pillow. -Yes. [laughing] 322 00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:11,667 The house kind of got a little bit insane, 323 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,562 So then I'm like, oh, let's just go camping under here. 324 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:16,989 ♪ 325 00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:19,058 Things kind of got overwhelming inside, 326 00:15:19,093 --> 00:15:20,576 So you moved outside? 327 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,311 Yeah, I'm trapped in the house. 328 00:15:22,346 --> 00:15:23,754 It's like I don't have a life. 329 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,633 It's like consuming every waking moment of my existence. 330 00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,759 Do you have any safety concerns about sleeping 331 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,654 Outside instead of inside your home? 332 00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,473 There's aspects that I love about sleeping outside, 333 00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:36,809 But then, yeah, sometimes it does get a little bit scary. 334 00:15:36,844 --> 00:15:38,561 Sometimes I just have a bad feeling 335 00:15:38,596 --> 00:15:39,978 When I'm outside or whatever. 336 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,732 Then I try to also just breathe the fear in and 337 00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:45,485 Check in, okay, is this a rational fear or not? 338 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,611 I'll tell you, I'd be terrified is I was outside 339 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,930 And I heard any sound. 340 00:15:50,008 --> 00:15:52,358 What's coming up for you when we're out here? 341 00:15:52,435 --> 00:15:55,436 Hm... Ah... 342 00:15:55,546 --> 00:15:57,363 It was such a beautiful question to be asked, 343 00:15:57,515 --> 00:15:58,956 It's like, wow, someone actually cares. 344 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,625 But sometimes it pisses me off when I feel like I don't 345 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,503 Know or I haven't thought about how I'm feeling, 346 00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:05,204 Sometimes it's a little jarring. 347 00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:08,374 Asking such a simple question should not be so triggering. 348 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:10,059 It tells me that we're dealing with somebody 349 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,136 Who's got a lot of complex emotions. 350 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,246 I'd love to put a pin on this conversation because I, 351 00:16:14,324 --> 00:16:15,974 I know we're going to come back to it a lot. 352 00:16:16,050 --> 00:16:17,916 Now, the reason why is because... 353 00:16:18,069 --> 00:16:19,811 To be able to change our behavior, 354 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,770 We really have to understand ourselves. 355 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:22,921 Exactly, so... 356 00:16:22,999 --> 00:16:26,150 I would love to see the other parts of the house as well. 357 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,801 So, let's go ahead. 358 00:16:27,879 --> 00:16:29,820 ♪ 359 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,030 What do we have here? 360 00:16:31,065 --> 00:16:33,366 I've cleared this room like five times. 361 00:16:33,401 --> 00:16:36,052 I just never know what to do with it. 362 00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:38,262 This is me trying to see if I want to do 363 00:16:38,339 --> 00:16:40,914 My apothecary stuff, my essential oils stuff. 364 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,091 So my bath treatments. 365 00:16:42,093 --> 00:16:45,411 And I don't really do a desk, sit-up desk, office-y thing. 366 00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:49,582 I like to be in the living room. The living room! 367 00:16:49,658 --> 00:16:51,784 So, darlene, what, what is this space? 368 00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:54,603 There's apothecary. I see there's... 369 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,771 Superfoods, is that right? 370 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,498 Yes, essential- and then, local honey, 371 00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:59,975 So then I have these cool machines to make, like, 372 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,668 Lavender infused honeys and stuff like that. 373 00:17:01,746 --> 00:17:02,669 Oh, wonderful. 374 00:17:02,747 --> 00:17:04,338 So, is this your work area, work station? 375 00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,733 I guess so. I've been seeing, I've been... 376 00:17:06,768 --> 00:17:08,951 Seeing if this feels right. 377 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,452 I'm trying to get a sense of the space, 378 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,906 And darlene is talking about many things at the same time, 379 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:17,034 And I'm having a hard time keeping up. 380 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,311 So, this is the kitchen. 381 00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:20,972 It's so small. 382 00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:23,624 I can't help but notice the stove over here. 383 00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,435 Is there any safety concerns in the kitchen? 384 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:27,669 Like, how do you cook? 385 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:30,623 I didn't know the stove was unsafe until johnny was 386 00:17:30,625 --> 00:17:34,460 Cooking a turkey meal and he got electrocuted. 387 00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:35,386 -Oh, no! -[laughing] 388 00:17:35,463 --> 00:17:37,146 I shouldn't be laughing, it's horrible. 389 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,464 Was he okay after? 390 00:17:38,499 --> 00:17:41,166 Yeah, yeah, I guess so, but 391 00:17:41,244 --> 00:17:43,119 I'm so glad I didn't know that it could, 392 00:17:43,154 --> 00:17:44,320 We could get electrocuted. 393 00:17:44,322 --> 00:17:46,606 And I'm so glad I forgot that I could be electrocuted 394 00:17:46,641 --> 00:17:48,065 After that, because I've been 395 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,809 Still using it, I completely forgot. 396 00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,827 It's not necessarily a great thing that you forgot because 397 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,571 You might find yourself in a situation where you might 398 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,740 Get electrocuted if you're using it. 399 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,801 Yeah, I just have to be mindful in this house. 400 00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,644 -Okay. -The bathroom, so... 401 00:18:00,722 --> 00:18:01,804 -[chuckling] -we're good. 402 00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:03,456 The bathroom, yeah, the bathroom's so tiny, 403 00:18:03,491 --> 00:18:04,840 You can't do anything with it. 404 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,093 -Okay. -Agh! Yeah, um... 405 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:11,013 So, this is gran's room, granny's room. 406 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,531 -Mhm. -Or, it used to be. 407 00:18:12,609 --> 00:18:15,318 So, this has always been, like- once again, 408 00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:18,303 Like I was saying, I've tried to make this room. 409 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,256 I've gutted it so many times. 410 00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:22,524 And so, I've tried so many times to make it 411 00:18:22,526 --> 00:18:25,769 Function as something, it just never fit. 412 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,088 Ugh. 413 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,498 This is granny's hospital bed under here, 414 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:31,258 And I've been thinking about that for many years. 415 00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:35,655 Is it really the energy that I want to keep going forward? 416 00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,005 There's pictures here. 417 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,958 -So, who are these people? -Ah, these people? 418 00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,635 This is my sister who passed on. 419 00:18:40,711 --> 00:18:42,953 -Mhm. -Um... Yeah. 420 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,414 And then the others as well, is you and your sister? 421 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:46,957 Or, I see a couple of different faces. 422 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,560 This is for her memorial, so it's just whomever. 423 00:18:49,637 --> 00:18:51,704 -Mhm. -Yeah. 424 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,797 And, tell me a little bit about 425 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,708 Your relationship with your sister. 426 00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:58,285 ♪ 427 00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:00,470 I don't know, I don't remember much of the past, 428 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,899 And I don't really know what there is to say about it. 429 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,476 Were you also a caregiver for her? 430 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,705 Uh, caregiver, I never thought of it in terms of that. 431 00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,740 Mhm. 432 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,634 [sighing] um... 433 00:19:13,711 --> 00:19:14,910 ♪ 434 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,063 Sorry, I don't- I'm just lost with this questioning thing. 435 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,082 Is it fair for me to say that this room is 436 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,142 A very emotional space for you? 437 00:19:22,144 --> 00:19:23,894 No, not emotional at all. 438 00:19:23,972 --> 00:19:26,246 Just the question about the past is like- 439 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,474 'cause I'm confused about it. 440 00:19:28,509 --> 00:19:30,817 Um, can I just pause for a moment because I, 441 00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,669 I don't know what to do with that? 442 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,847 -Okay, that's okay. -I don't, don't, no, like... 443 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,424 That's okay, that's alright. 444 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,992 Tell me about the boxes in the room. 445 00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:42,889 Like, I'd love to, like... I don't get what... 446 00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:45,424 [sighing & muttering] 447 00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,243 So, how about this? What's coming up for you? 448 00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:50,779 -So, I've got a sister. -[stammering] I just... 449 00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:54,400 Darlene is pissed at me when I ask about her sister, 450 00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:55,784 And I'm very confused. 451 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,454 I remember my grandmother used to always be thinking 452 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,180 About my mom and my sister who passed on 453 00:20:00,258 --> 00:20:03,016 Every single day. I'm like... 454 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:05,461 Whereas, like, I'm just like, granny, why? 455 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,020 Like, how is this helpful? 456 00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:09,189 This is quite a simple question, 457 00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:11,967 And I haven't even started to challenge her on things. 458 00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:13,218 Can we just stop for a second? 459 00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:15,862 I'm worried that any little trust I built with darlene 460 00:20:15,940 --> 00:20:17,714 Is now completely gone. 461 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,049 ♪ 462 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,701 And if she can't trust me, 463 00:20:20,703 --> 00:20:22,552 We're not going to get anywhere. 464 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,223 ♪ [suspenseful] 465 00:20:28,018 --> 00:20:34,139 ♪ 466 00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:36,108 [darlene] my sister's death, like, I don't get what 467 00:20:36,143 --> 00:20:38,110 She has to do with this problem in the house! 468 00:20:38,145 --> 00:20:40,046 ♪ [suspenseful] 469 00:20:40,081 --> 00:20:42,698 Darlene refuses to make the connection between 470 00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:45,451 Holding on to these items as a means to cope with 471 00:20:45,486 --> 00:20:47,577 A lot of grief in her life. 472 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,956 These questions that I ask, does it feel triggering? 473 00:20:49,991 --> 00:20:51,807 It's genuinely to, you know, get a better sense- 474 00:20:51,842 --> 00:20:53,142 Just like, who are those people? 475 00:20:53,177 --> 00:20:55,544 It's like, ah! What do those people have to do 476 00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,329 With my life or my sister or anything? 477 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,588 And so, I was just like... 478 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,132 -Yeah, kind of threw you off. -Yeah. 479 00:21:00,167 --> 00:21:03,260 My job here is to figure out how to connect with darlene 480 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,912 In order to help her start making changes 481 00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,349 To her behavior. 482 00:21:08,426 --> 00:21:12,194 ♪ 483 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,103 -How's it going? -Hey! 484 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,163 -Hello. -Hey, my name's julio. 485 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,605 -Hi, julio, I'm johnny. -Nice to meet you. 486 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,016 My name's julio rivera. 487 00:21:17,051 --> 00:21:18,942 I'm a professional organizer 488 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,820 Who specializes in hoarding cleanups. 489 00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,338 What am I walking into? 490 00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:24,740 -[sighing] well... -Where do we start? 491 00:21:24,775 --> 00:21:26,025 A bit of a nightmare, maybe? 492 00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:28,268 It's going to be hard to walk through things. 493 00:21:28,346 --> 00:21:30,997 Lots and lots and lots of boxes. Bags. 494 00:21:31,032 --> 00:21:32,348 -Want to show me in? -Sure! 495 00:21:32,383 --> 00:21:34,433 I'll just show you the basement. 496 00:21:34,468 --> 00:21:36,227 -Come on down. -Okay... 497 00:21:36,303 --> 00:21:37,703 -Oh, wow! -And it smells. 498 00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:39,538 -Watch your step. -Yeah. 499 00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:42,525 I don't believe that she actually knows what's in, 500 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,059 Like, a lot of these boxes. 501 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,894 She sort of inherited it, from history! 502 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,621 -From who? -From her grandmother. 503 00:21:47,698 --> 00:21:49,623 Okay. What do you think is going to be the 504 00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:51,534 Biggest hurdle for darlene? 505 00:21:51,569 --> 00:21:52,601 -Letting go. -Mhm. 506 00:21:52,636 --> 00:21:56,614 Even just one item, because nothing leaves. 507 00:21:56,616 --> 00:22:00,050 Beyond you two, what other support does she have? 508 00:22:00,128 --> 00:22:01,218 People have come and they've gone. 509 00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:03,479 Many people have tried to help, then... 510 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:05,055 They completely ghost her. 511 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:07,991 Do you think that she's hanging onto things 512 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,869 Because people just leave her life? 513 00:22:09,904 --> 00:22:10,752 Yeah. 514 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,572 And just the loss of life that... 515 00:22:13,649 --> 00:22:15,407 She's only known growing up. 516 00:22:15,484 --> 00:22:17,335 All of this around her is like a buffer. 517 00:22:17,444 --> 00:22:19,653 But if you make suggestions 518 00:22:19,730 --> 00:22:21,597 That she's not comfortable with, 519 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:23,441 She may just not want to talk to you for 520 00:22:23,517 --> 00:22:25,259 A week or two, you know... -Yeah, that's what happens. 521 00:22:25,336 --> 00:22:28,387 -So, she sort of goes dark. -She's going to hate us for it. 522 00:22:28,422 --> 00:22:30,672 But, you know, we have to, like this is it. 523 00:22:30,707 --> 00:22:32,265 [julio] the challenge is, 524 00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,994 How do I empower her to be able to 525 00:22:35,029 --> 00:22:38,113 Make the decisions that we need her to make here? 526 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,940 It's actually cleaner than when you were here last time. 527 00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:42,275 -I think something's missing. -Yeah. 528 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:43,427 -Yeah. -What do you mean? 529 00:22:43,504 --> 00:22:46,238 Usually it's like you're walking and it's just a little... 530 00:22:46,273 --> 00:22:48,074 -Okay. -Walkway. 531 00:22:48,109 --> 00:22:51,543 How is it that I can actually see this floor? 532 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:54,187 Where did she stash everything? 533 00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:55,948 So what do you think she took out? 534 00:22:56,024 --> 00:22:57,783 A shelf, books. A couch? 535 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,876 Something over here, for sure. 536 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,937 I'm looking around the house, and... 537 00:23:01,972 --> 00:23:03,455 It's still very hoarded. 538 00:23:03,532 --> 00:23:06,366 But, she has definitely hidden some things 539 00:23:06,444 --> 00:23:08,794 She knows that we'll try and... 540 00:23:08,871 --> 00:23:10,462 Get rid of. 541 00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:11,705 ♪ 542 00:23:11,782 --> 00:23:13,315 This is granny's room. 543 00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,267 This pathway was never there before, 544 00:23:15,302 --> 00:23:17,536 So you couldn't walk in there. 545 00:23:17,538 --> 00:23:19,622 -It was all boxes. -Okay. 546 00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:21,607 Waist-high, and then higher. 547 00:23:21,642 --> 00:23:23,492 Okay. 548 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,511 Those pictures... 549 00:23:26,546 --> 00:23:28,730 Aw... 550 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,917 That would be the mum and sister, right? 551 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,118 -Yeah. -Yeah. 552 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,004 -[crying] sorry. -It's okay. 553 00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,064 -There's granny. -[laughing] 554 00:23:38,142 --> 00:23:40,734 This is the first time I've ever seen this here. 555 00:23:40,811 --> 00:23:43,963 How much of it do you think has sentimental value to her? 556 00:23:43,998 --> 00:23:47,257 Well, I mean, like, like stuff like this... 557 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,910 She can't get rid of that, but this is recycling. 558 00:23:49,987 --> 00:23:53,522 It seems like she's come a long way in understanding, 559 00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:56,008 As long as it's going directly to somewhere, 560 00:23:56,084 --> 00:23:59,861 And she knows that it's going like, okay, that's recycle. 561 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:00,854 Okay. 562 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:01,981 Johnny, you haven't talked me into it yet. 563 00:24:02,016 --> 00:24:04,299 -We're working on it. -[laughing] we'll see. 564 00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:05,684 ♪ 565 00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:07,869 -This is darlene's room. -This is the bedroom. 566 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:09,338 -Oh! Geez! -Watch your step. 567 00:24:09,373 --> 00:24:11,264 This is much emptier. Her bed- 568 00:24:11,342 --> 00:24:13,659 -Oh, wow! -We can see the mattress. 569 00:24:13,694 --> 00:24:15,118 -Yeah! -Since last night. 570 00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,378 Last night? Okay. 571 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,830 Because I see lots of clothes here. 572 00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:19,865 -This is nothing. -This is nothing! Nothing. 573 00:24:19,942 --> 00:24:21,600 -Okay. -This is nothing. 574 00:24:21,635 --> 00:24:22,792 I don't know where it all went, 575 00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,027 But she must have hid it. -Neither do I... 576 00:24:24,105 --> 00:24:25,646 She started sleeping outside because 577 00:24:25,723 --> 00:24:26,705 She had nowhere to like... 578 00:24:26,782 --> 00:24:28,381 Okay, hold on. 579 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:30,384 She's sleeping outside? 580 00:24:30,461 --> 00:24:33,829 It's, it's actually heartbreaking. 581 00:24:33,864 --> 00:24:34,796 Um... 582 00:24:34,873 --> 00:24:36,148 This is her new bedroom now? 583 00:24:36,224 --> 00:24:37,649 -This is the bedroom. -That we were talking about? 584 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,976 -Ah, yeah. -Yes. 585 00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:42,796 -Do you think that's safe? -No, absolutely not. 586 00:24:42,873 --> 00:24:46,132 This doesn't scare her or worry her, and it should. 587 00:24:46,134 --> 00:24:49,295 We're going to have to make sure darlene understands 588 00:24:49,330 --> 00:24:52,364 The risks involved with her being out there. 589 00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:55,308 Let's go throw her a lifeline. Let's help her out. 590 00:24:55,310 --> 00:24:57,553 ♪ 591 00:24:57,663 --> 00:24:59,221 Darlene, I wanted to introduce you to 592 00:24:59,256 --> 00:25:00,723 Our organizer, julio. 593 00:25:00,758 --> 00:25:02,666 He did a walkthrough of the house with 594 00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,000 Micaela and johnny. 595 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,577 Darlene, pleasure to meet you. 596 00:25:05,654 --> 00:25:08,488 We've got a great team of support for you here. 597 00:25:08,566 --> 00:25:11,400 Is there any concerns that are coming up for you guys? 598 00:25:11,435 --> 00:25:14,403 Um... There's a lot of stuff that you... 599 00:25:14,438 --> 00:25:15,937 Is missing or hidden. 600 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,606 -No! [laughing] -are you sure? 601 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:19,725 No, a lot of it was recycling. 602 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,351 -Did you get rid of it? -Yeah. 603 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,913 -Where did it go? -In the backyard and stuff. 604 00:25:24,948 --> 00:25:27,841 -You put it in the backyard? -Well, no, it just... 605 00:25:27,918 --> 00:25:29,918 So, the recycling go to the recycling plant? 606 00:25:29,953 --> 00:25:31,695 -Well, it's, no, it's just- -where is it? 607 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:33,263 Everything is everywhere it's supposed to be. 608 00:25:33,341 --> 00:25:34,773 I'm a little bit confused here. 609 00:25:34,925 --> 00:25:36,024 [laughing] 610 00:25:36,026 --> 00:25:37,617 It sounds as though micaela and johnny, 611 00:25:37,619 --> 00:25:39,127 You're concerned that there are certain things 612 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:40,796 That are being hidden away. 613 00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:42,297 However, darlene, 614 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,632 You seem to disagree with that. 615 00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:45,525 -I completely disagree! -Did I understand that right? 616 00:25:45,603 --> 00:25:48,028 -Did it just disappear? -Yeah, where is it? 617 00:25:48,105 --> 00:25:49,696 Before, it was all spread out. 618 00:25:49,698 --> 00:25:52,399 So, I just spatially managed it differently. 619 00:25:52,476 --> 00:25:53,942 -So, you just reorganized it. -Yes! 620 00:25:53,977 --> 00:25:55,377 And tucked it into where you think it should be going? 621 00:25:55,454 --> 00:25:56,728 -And shifted? -Yes. 622 00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,371 Like, I just don't know why you guys are making a 623 00:25:58,449 --> 00:26:00,724 Big deal of things that aren't a big deal. 624 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:03,468 -Oh, no, it's not a big deal. -Not at all. 625 00:26:03,545 --> 00:26:05,411 What's it to them? Who cares! 626 00:26:05,413 --> 00:26:06,438 Like, so what, I clean! 627 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,775 Don't keep pushing and, "meh, meh, meh." 628 00:26:09,810 --> 00:26:11,317 That's something we're going to have to figure out 629 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:13,604 'cause it's a new dynamic. And also, at the same time, 630 00:26:13,606 --> 00:26:15,656 To challenge you a little bit on that because, 631 00:26:15,733 --> 00:26:17,157 Are there things that you're hiding? 632 00:26:17,267 --> 00:26:19,225 Are you worried about people coming and taking your stuff 633 00:26:19,303 --> 00:26:20,485 And just throwing it out, because that has 634 00:26:20,638 --> 00:26:22,321 Happened in the past? -Yes. 635 00:26:22,473 --> 00:26:23,955 That can be something you can communicate, right? 636 00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:25,791 [micaela] if we don't get help with darlene 637 00:26:25,826 --> 00:26:27,926 Through this process... 638 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:32,172 I don't think anything can help her. 639 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:37,744 ♪ 640 00:26:37,822 --> 00:26:39,521 [julio] if we don't get this done, 641 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,247 I'm afraid that darlene is 642 00:26:41,325 --> 00:26:44,267 Just going to end up isolating herself even more, 643 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,102 Hoarding even more, 644 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:48,513 And creating a death trap for herself. 645 00:26:48,590 --> 00:26:57,272 ♪ 646 00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:59,358 Just take a minute, you know, get ready. 647 00:26:59,434 --> 00:27:00,284 And then we'll be good to go. 648 00:27:00,361 --> 00:27:02,035 [darlene] okay. 649 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:07,057 ♪ 650 00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:10,786 [indistinct chatter] 651 00:27:10,821 --> 00:27:12,671 Feels like we're waiting for the bride. 652 00:27:12,706 --> 00:27:14,280 Yeah. 653 00:27:14,358 --> 00:27:20,487 ♪ 654 00:27:20,564 --> 00:27:23,490 Everyone's outside, and I'm left alone to my own devices. 655 00:27:23,567 --> 00:27:24,642 Who's in the house? I mean, you are. 656 00:27:24,718 --> 00:27:25,901 You came and checked on me. 657 00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:27,644 Someone noticed, darlene's not around, 658 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,720 Darlene's not outside. 659 00:27:28,797 --> 00:27:31,815 I'm by myself, and everyone knows I've been struggling. 660 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,149 Where's everyone else? 661 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:34,710 We're all just getting settled in. 662 00:27:34,745 --> 00:27:36,970 It's only 9 o'clock in the morning. 663 00:27:37,047 --> 00:27:38,138 And johnny was here with you earlier. 664 00:27:38,248 --> 00:27:40,640 No, he wasn't, he was here for a split second. 665 00:27:40,718 --> 00:27:43,568 You have a ton of people here. I'm here with you. 666 00:27:43,603 --> 00:27:45,787 You are. You are! 667 00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:48,757 And like, this current moment isn't the past. 668 00:27:48,834 --> 00:27:50,826 There's like a whole crew of people that will 669 00:27:50,861 --> 00:27:51,919 Help you with the day. 670 00:27:51,995 --> 00:27:53,662 Yeah, but it's not the organizational part. 671 00:27:53,697 --> 00:27:56,581 It's just like, it's a bigger metaphor or life. 672 00:27:56,658 --> 00:27:57,657 Yeah, of course. 673 00:27:57,768 --> 00:27:59,993 Everyone's showing up physically, which I guess 674 00:28:00,070 --> 00:28:01,603 In their mind, "yeah, I showed up!" 675 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,239 But it's like, what about emotionally? 676 00:28:04,274 --> 00:28:04,998 Yeah. 677 00:28:05,108 --> 00:28:06,349 But this is the point of my life. 678 00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,076 This is how life has always been for me, 679 00:28:08,111 --> 00:28:11,063 So I must have somehow energetically created that. 680 00:28:11,098 --> 00:28:13,006 Everyone's caught up in their own little world. 681 00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,766 Who cares about darlene? 682 00:28:14,843 --> 00:28:16,435 ♪ 683 00:28:16,511 --> 00:28:19,271 Hi. Are you okay? 684 00:28:19,306 --> 00:28:20,956 -Hi. -Hi. 685 00:28:20,991 --> 00:28:23,942 -Come here. It's okay. -Thanks, oh, thank you. 686 00:28:24,019 --> 00:28:29,539 ♪ 687 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,040 I'm just feeling so isolated and separate, 688 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,634 Everyone's in their own little worlds right now. 689 00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:33,960 No, no, we're all here for you. 690 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:34,853 This is all you. 691 00:28:34,855 --> 00:28:36,129 But they're supposed to be here for me, 692 00:28:36,131 --> 00:28:38,031 But they're outside talking with their own selves. 693 00:28:38,108 --> 00:28:38,974 We're waiting for you. 694 00:28:39,050 --> 00:28:39,925 Do you want to, what do you want? 695 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,050 I don't want waiting. 696 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:42,702 I wanted, like, people to be with me. 697 00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:44,479 -And so I was feeling- -we're here for you. 698 00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:46,539 Yeah, physically, but then nobody came in until 699 00:28:46,617 --> 00:28:47,707 She came in, until you came in. 700 00:28:47,785 --> 00:28:49,058 We're here. We're here, we're here. 701 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:51,486 -Yeah. -We're here! 702 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:54,063 I knew day one, if not the whole journey, 703 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:56,399 Was going to be impossible for her. 704 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,976 I'm scared for the next... 705 00:28:58,053 --> 00:28:59,361 Days to come. 706 00:29:02,224 --> 00:29:04,073 ♪ 707 00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:04,967 -Let's do it! -Okay. 708 00:29:05,002 --> 00:29:07,911 -Yeah? Okay. -Thank you. 709 00:29:07,988 --> 00:29:10,672 This morning triggered darlene's past experience 710 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,174 With being left and abandoned. 711 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:23,743 ♪ 712 00:29:23,821 --> 00:29:27,589 [laughing] ah, landing, woo! 713 00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,274 What just happened? 714 00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,834 Oh, my gosh, that's so wild. 715 00:29:30,911 --> 00:29:32,594 Feeling good? Feeling light? 716 00:29:32,671 --> 00:29:35,004 Darlene likes to be grounded, and... 717 00:29:35,115 --> 00:29:36,281 -Wow. -Whoa! 718 00:29:36,358 --> 00:29:38,584 I know she has paul here for that. 719 00:29:38,619 --> 00:29:41,353 He seems to be helping her. 720 00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:45,073 It's so wonderful to see all your supports over here. 721 00:29:45,150 --> 00:29:46,842 It's gonna be a challenging week. 722 00:29:46,877 --> 00:29:49,786 I know we've had a rough start to the morning. 723 00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:51,163 For me, it wasn't rough at all. 724 00:29:51,198 --> 00:29:54,349 That went perfect, yeah. It needed to come up. 725 00:29:54,384 --> 00:29:56,001 Emotions come up because they want to go. 726 00:29:56,036 --> 00:30:00,022 I just had a huge revelation about a pattern that was 727 00:30:00,057 --> 00:30:01,948 Repeating over and over in my life, 728 00:30:02,026 --> 00:30:05,644 And I feel like from moving through it, stuff shifted. 729 00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,546 It actually feels like we can do this, 730 00:30:07,622 --> 00:30:08,713 And I'm like, so excited. 731 00:30:08,866 --> 00:30:11,140 I want to just get started and like take all this 732 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,734 Newness and like run with it. 733 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,353 Not that I won't necessarily have breakdowns again, 734 00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,581 But um, yeah, let's just run with it. 735 00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:18,815 We'll see. 736 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,192 First of all, darlene, 737 00:30:20,227 --> 00:30:23,211 I would like to emphasize that you are in control. 738 00:30:23,246 --> 00:30:27,399 My plan today is to start off by making a pathway 739 00:30:27,475 --> 00:30:29,492 To get access to the bedrooms, 740 00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:31,077 Go into the backyard and 741 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:32,996 Clearing a pathway there so that we can have 742 00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,255 Access to the basement. 743 00:30:34,332 --> 00:30:37,166 Part of the team- they are first hoarding cleanup- 744 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:38,985 Will be up here bringing stuff out, 745 00:30:39,063 --> 00:30:41,004 While you will decide whether you want to 746 00:30:41,081 --> 00:30:43,248 Keep, throw away, or donate. 747 00:30:43,325 --> 00:30:44,249 Perfect. 748 00:30:44,326 --> 00:30:45,909 Do you give us permission to start up here? 749 00:30:45,986 --> 00:30:47,719 -Yes, absolutely. -In that case... 750 00:30:47,754 --> 00:30:49,004 -Yeah, yeah! -Let's roll. 751 00:30:49,039 --> 00:30:50,663 Let's get started. 752 00:30:50,741 --> 00:31:02,784 ♪ 753 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:05,270 My goal this morning is to get the ball rolling 754 00:31:05,305 --> 00:31:09,791 By getting her to make a decision about any items. 755 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:11,285 Got some things that were brought out. 756 00:31:11,361 --> 00:31:12,544 [darlene] yeah. 757 00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,878 [julio] if you want to start taking a look at it. 758 00:31:13,955 --> 00:31:15,521 [darlene] this is what I've been doing my whole life 759 00:31:15,599 --> 00:31:17,799 For the last month, so... -Okay. 760 00:31:17,801 --> 00:31:20,710 I don't know what to do with it more than it already is. 761 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:21,970 Can you tell me a little bit about 762 00:31:22,005 --> 00:31:23,255 What you were working on? 763 00:31:23,290 --> 00:31:24,973 [sighing] 764 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,866 I'm trying to understand your thought pattern, 765 00:31:26,944 --> 00:31:29,644 So that we can make some decisions. 766 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,554 Oh, this is makeup stuff. 767 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,599 Seeing the stuff that was coming out from 768 00:31:33,634 --> 00:31:36,309 The front door, that... 769 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:37,961 Totally threw her off. 770 00:31:38,038 --> 00:31:40,630 So, what is your vision of boxes and labels, 771 00:31:40,708 --> 00:31:41,707 And how does that work? 772 00:31:41,742 --> 00:31:43,491 You said you already sorted this stuff? 773 00:31:43,568 --> 00:31:44,292 Yeah. 774 00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:46,228 So, we have a color for each room, 775 00:31:46,263 --> 00:31:48,063 And I just want to figure out with you, 776 00:31:48,139 --> 00:31:50,056 Where would you like some of this stuff to go? 777 00:31:50,058 --> 00:31:51,499 Do you want to do some of that right now? 778 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:52,575 Yes, yes, I do. 779 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,586 Can you explain to me the labels, the colors? 780 00:31:54,588 --> 00:31:56,145 I don't get what the vision is. 781 00:31:56,147 --> 00:31:57,255 We have a chart. 782 00:31:57,332 --> 00:31:59,090 Oh, please, I want your chart. Just you tell me, 783 00:31:59,125 --> 00:32:00,709 You tell me what you already have organized. 784 00:32:00,711 --> 00:32:02,461 -Let me go grab it. -Okay, that would be brilliant. 785 00:32:02,496 --> 00:32:04,630 So, I'll separate the different sections- 786 00:32:04,665 --> 00:32:05,631 Yeah, right. 787 00:32:05,740 --> 00:32:07,182 And then, and then, we'll just color code 'em. 788 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,434 And then you can tell me what you guys have figured out, 789 00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:11,319 And I would love to see your "process". 790 00:32:11,354 --> 00:32:13,155 So, that would be very helpful for me 791 00:32:13,190 --> 00:32:14,823 To feel the container. 792 00:32:14,858 --> 00:32:17,659 She got so caught up deflecting, 793 00:32:17,694 --> 00:32:20,628 Going back to what the vision is. 794 00:32:20,706 --> 00:32:22,363 How can there be a vision 795 00:32:22,365 --> 00:32:25,067 If we can't even create a canvas for her? 796 00:32:25,102 --> 00:32:26,367 Are there boxes to put- 797 00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:28,028 Because I've already sorted these things. 798 00:32:28,105 --> 00:32:30,196 Um, boxes. 799 00:32:30,274 --> 00:32:32,724 I think there's some little ones here. 800 00:32:32,726 --> 00:32:35,302 -Are there boxes or whatever? -Here. 801 00:32:35,378 --> 00:32:36,861 I'm just not understanding. 802 00:32:36,896 --> 00:32:39,347 Julio, you're going to go get some boxes and the colors. 803 00:32:39,382 --> 00:32:40,790 So, darlene, why don't we just sit down 804 00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:41,791 For a quick minute? 805 00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,718 Can we just, I love working and talking. 806 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,537 I hate sitting and doing nothing. 807 00:32:45,613 --> 00:32:47,297 Okay. Do I have your attention? 808 00:32:47,374 --> 00:32:48,840 -I feel like I don't- -yeah, I, I love- 809 00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:50,884 I have equal left-right brain hemisphere synchronization. 810 00:32:50,961 --> 00:32:53,511 I can do, I like multitasking. 811 00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:54,954 It makes me feel calmer and better. 812 00:32:55,032 --> 00:32:56,531 So, to stop everything- 813 00:32:56,566 --> 00:32:58,958 Darlene's feeling very overwhelmed. 814 00:32:59,036 --> 00:33:03,054 It's really hard for me to connect with her. 815 00:33:03,089 --> 00:33:05,207 If she's not going to be real with me, 816 00:33:05,242 --> 00:33:07,483 We're not getting anywhere in this process. 817 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,644 This is the first round of things that got brought out. 818 00:33:09,721 --> 00:33:11,146 Yeah. 819 00:33:11,222 --> 00:33:13,056 Yes... And? 820 00:33:13,133 --> 00:33:16,535 -What's coming up for you? -I don't know. 821 00:33:16,570 --> 00:33:18,661 I just want to- I'll feel much better once I know 822 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:21,331 What your guys' method of colors and boxes, like, 823 00:33:21,441 --> 00:33:22,541 I don't get what I'm supposed to be- 824 00:33:22,576 --> 00:33:24,342 I need colors and boxes and labels. 825 00:33:24,377 --> 00:33:25,510 I've already done this stuff. 826 00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:27,320 This is the worst stuff to start with because 827 00:33:27,397 --> 00:33:29,172 I'm already done this stuff, so... 828 00:33:29,249 --> 00:33:30,899 Everybody's in motion now, 829 00:33:30,934 --> 00:33:32,934 And things are leaving her home. 830 00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:34,827 That's when she got 831 00:33:34,905 --> 00:33:37,847 Very agitated and confused. 832 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:38,773 What's going on here? 833 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,516 -In my heart? -In your heart. 834 00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:43,495 I'm not understanding the process, and- thank you, paul. 835 00:33:43,530 --> 00:33:47,365 It's a real challenge to slow that down a little bit. 836 00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:53,204 ♪ 837 00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:56,032 So, I'm really trying to stay focused on 838 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,093 Entering the world dar's in... 839 00:33:58,128 --> 00:34:01,529 To hopefully intermediate, if it needs to happen. 840 00:34:01,564 --> 00:34:02,764 I don't get what there is to do, 841 00:34:02,874 --> 00:34:04,949 Unless the next step is organizing the boxes and 842 00:34:05,026 --> 00:34:07,435 Labels, so can we fricking please do that then? 843 00:34:07,470 --> 00:34:09,120 But where are they? I'm not understanding. 844 00:34:09,197 --> 00:34:11,214 -Can I ask you a question? -Yeah. 845 00:34:11,216 --> 00:34:12,924 What does support look like for you right now? 846 00:34:12,959 --> 00:34:14,225 Where are the boxes and labels? 847 00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:16,778 The boxes are coming, the boxes are coming, 848 00:34:16,813 --> 00:34:17,887 The colors are coming. 849 00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:19,872 I want to know what support looks like... 850 00:34:19,950 --> 00:34:20,949 Yeah, perfect. 851 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:22,300 ...Because it sounds as though you don't feel 852 00:34:22,377 --> 00:34:23,618 Supported right now. 853 00:34:23,653 --> 00:34:25,153 -Here we go, okay? -Thank you. 854 00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:26,988 -Darlene? -This isn't helping! 855 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,274 Okay, so tell me, what would be helpful? 856 00:34:29,309 --> 00:34:31,050 I just want someone to fricking tell me 857 00:34:31,128 --> 00:34:32,611 How to do this process. 858 00:34:32,646 --> 00:34:34,112 I don't want this conversation. 859 00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:36,281 I just want to be told the process. 860 00:34:36,316 --> 00:34:38,917 And I just want to know where are the boxes and labels? 861 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:40,468 Darlene, we need to go through your things of 862 00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:41,753 What you want to keep and what you don't want- 863 00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:43,171 Yeah, this is- I've already organized this. 864 00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,098 -This is keep! -You want to keep all this? 865 00:34:45,175 --> 00:34:47,842 Yes! I'm not understanding what the challenge is. 866 00:34:47,919 --> 00:34:49,686 When she saw all her stuff on the lawn, 867 00:34:49,763 --> 00:34:51,737 I knew she was going to flip her ----. 868 00:34:51,815 --> 00:34:53,531 For instance, like, this stuff is "car". 869 00:34:53,609 --> 00:34:55,317 I don't know where "car" is going. 870 00:34:55,352 --> 00:34:58,353 -Garage, garage. -See, I have no idea. 871 00:34:58,429 --> 00:34:59,354 So now what happens? 872 00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:00,705 [julio] when she's challenged, 873 00:35:00,782 --> 00:35:04,934 She breaks down and needs support. 874 00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,494 How can we get past that? 875 00:35:06,529 --> 00:35:08,814 They've actually got a pretty good master plan, 876 00:35:08,849 --> 00:35:11,607 And you're in control. And it's so beautiful. 877 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,442 -[muttering] -yeah, you just... 878 00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:15,403 ...You know, trust in the process. 879 00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:16,855 It's not making any sense. 880 00:35:16,890 --> 00:35:19,207 Stuff just came out of the house, that's it. 881 00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:21,993 And she's on the verge of having another meltdown. 882 00:35:22,028 --> 00:35:23,102 I've been doing this for six months, 883 00:35:23,180 --> 00:35:24,453 So I know I'm keeping that stuff. 884 00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:25,680 Well, it's not working. It is not -------working. 885 00:35:25,715 --> 00:35:28,183 That stuff, ---- me, like that stuff 886 00:35:28,218 --> 00:35:31,186 In the front room is big, I want that! 887 00:35:31,221 --> 00:35:33,171 You can't live like that, though! 888 00:35:36,543 --> 00:35:38,226 ♪ 889 00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:40,512 Okay, that's the keep pile, so where is the other pile? 890 00:35:40,514 --> 00:35:42,046 So, don't tell me it's not working! 891 00:35:42,199 --> 00:35:43,181 I already know this part! 892 00:35:43,216 --> 00:35:44,565 No, because we had to get it out of the room. 893 00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:45,975 We just had to get it out of the room. 894 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:47,643 Yeah, so now what are we doing with that? 895 00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,371 We're keeping it! We're keeping it. 896 00:35:49,406 --> 00:35:50,646 So that's the keep pile, right? 897 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:51,981 Yes! 898 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:56,611 ♪ 899 00:35:56,646 --> 00:35:58,062 So, maybe, can you explain to me, 900 00:35:58,139 --> 00:36:00,323 And I can explain it to her? -Yeah, no problem. 901 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,250 This is that color map. 902 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,476 [darlene] like, I'm not understanding! 903 00:36:03,586 --> 00:36:05,411 Like, what am I missing? What am I missing, paul? 904 00:36:05,489 --> 00:36:06,888 [micaela] you're not missing anything. 905 00:36:06,890 --> 00:36:09,807 [paul] it was a bit challenging to help her understand 906 00:36:09,885 --> 00:36:11,442 The sorting process. 907 00:36:11,477 --> 00:36:13,444 -This is all here. -Yeah. 908 00:36:13,522 --> 00:36:16,264 Once you say where everything goes, 909 00:36:16,266 --> 00:36:19,175 Then it goes down into the basement 910 00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,403 In color-coded places. 911 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:30,144 ♪ 912 00:36:30,146 --> 00:36:30,836 This is brilliant. 913 00:36:30,914 --> 00:36:32,096 I just wanted it explained to me. 914 00:36:32,173 --> 00:36:34,232 And they know what they're doing, so let's, 915 00:36:34,267 --> 00:36:36,359 Let's take advantage of this... 916 00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:38,678 And know that you're in complete control. 917 00:36:38,788 --> 00:36:42,040 And things started to move again. 918 00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:44,100 -Are we good? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. 919 00:36:44,177 --> 00:36:44,993 This is very helpful. 920 00:36:44,995 --> 00:36:46,210 Thank you for showing me the vision. 921 00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,111 -Now you know, right? -Yeah. 922 00:36:47,188 --> 00:36:48,930 Can we start bringing the stuff out? 923 00:36:48,932 --> 00:36:50,539 -Sure, yes, please. -And then you and I... 924 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,358 ...We'll work through that process. 925 00:36:52,436 --> 00:36:53,468 [cheering] 926 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:57,589 ♪ 927 00:36:57,591 --> 00:37:01,509 My goal today, is to create some visible change 928 00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:05,071 So that we can build on that as we go forward. 929 00:37:05,148 --> 00:37:06,931 We're trying to focus on boxes. 930 00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:07,832 Okay. 931 00:37:07,909 --> 00:37:10,543 Jessica, some of these boxes 932 00:37:10,620 --> 00:37:12,387 Have like one item in them. 933 00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:16,474 Can you grab them and create a box of multiple items? 934 00:37:16,551 --> 00:37:19,343 So we're not bringing out boxes with just one item. 935 00:37:19,345 --> 00:37:21,362 Yeah, I can do that. 936 00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:33,499 ♪ 937 00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:35,751 Okay, can we- do you mind starting with this? 938 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:36,978 Yeah, that's what I figured. 939 00:37:37,013 --> 00:37:38,646 I guess I'm putting like with like right now, 940 00:37:38,681 --> 00:37:40,832 And I'm trying to figure out what's the best reasonable 941 00:37:40,908 --> 00:37:42,984 Size, that's why I'm trying to separate the boxes 942 00:37:43,019 --> 00:37:44,602 Into the size and shape. 943 00:37:44,637 --> 00:37:46,196 Do you want to come with me on this side and 944 00:37:46,272 --> 00:37:47,989 We can recycle some of these boxes? 945 00:37:48,024 --> 00:37:50,492 Well, we might need it for organization- 946 00:37:50,527 --> 00:37:51,843 No, no, you have them now. Look. 947 00:37:51,919 --> 00:37:53,194 We have enough. 948 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,755 They have hundreds of boxes, 949 00:37:55,832 --> 00:37:57,865 So we need to recycle some of these. 950 00:37:57,900 --> 00:37:59,942 -Can we? ...How about- -well, I don't know yet. 951 00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:02,337 She told me she can't wait to get rid of all these boxes in 952 00:38:02,372 --> 00:38:06,324 Her basement to make room for new bins, freshly packed. 953 00:38:06,359 --> 00:38:07,859 And this, I don't know what room... 954 00:38:07,894 --> 00:38:09,777 She's just keeping everything. 955 00:38:09,812 --> 00:38:10,662 That's okay. 956 00:38:10,697 --> 00:38:11,863 But she's gotta actually let go. 957 00:38:11,898 --> 00:38:14,140 A lot of this is organizing and then she can 958 00:38:14,217 --> 00:38:15,775 Decide what she wants. 959 00:38:15,852 --> 00:38:17,718 [chuckling] I know. 960 00:38:17,795 --> 00:38:20,279 ♪ 961 00:38:20,357 --> 00:38:21,889 Hi. 962 00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:23,558 ♪ 963 00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:26,310 I think a lot of these boxes are actually not helpful 964 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:29,547 For you, like, the open boxes over there. 965 00:38:29,549 --> 00:38:31,366 Some of them are damaged as well. 966 00:38:31,401 --> 00:38:32,733 Yeah, I don't want all these boxes, 967 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:34,218 So we could just get that straight, 968 00:38:34,295 --> 00:38:35,644 I don't want all these boxes. 969 00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:36,938 You don't want any of these boxes? 970 00:38:36,973 --> 00:38:39,574 No, I did not say- I don't want all of these. 971 00:38:39,576 --> 00:38:40,466 Got it. 972 00:38:40,544 --> 00:38:41,835 But I have a problem with, like, everyone my 973 00:38:41,911 --> 00:38:43,135 Whole entire life is, "oh, you have too many boxes, 974 00:38:43,213 --> 00:38:44,529 Throw this out, meh, meh, meh." 975 00:38:44,564 --> 00:38:46,414 And when I need boxes, like now, 976 00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:49,333 When we're out of things to organize with, we need boxes. 977 00:38:49,410 --> 00:38:51,477 So, here's my suggestion. 978 00:38:51,555 --> 00:38:54,480 I want to ask julio if we have enough of these 979 00:38:54,558 --> 00:38:57,042 Plastic boxes that you originally said you wanted, 980 00:38:57,077 --> 00:39:00,094 To be able to organize the things you wanted. 981 00:39:00,096 --> 00:39:01,496 Uh-huh. 982 00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:02,655 -Hey, darlene? -Yes. 983 00:39:02,732 --> 00:39:04,849 -I'll trade you. -Trade me what? 984 00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:06,550 I'll trade you the bins for the boxes. 985 00:39:06,628 --> 00:39:08,828 No, I don't do negotiations like that. 986 00:39:08,830 --> 00:39:09,721 Thank you. 987 00:39:09,756 --> 00:39:11,856 Where do I go from here? 988 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,391 All we can do is let her... 989 00:39:14,393 --> 00:39:17,812 Shift things from one side to the other again. 990 00:39:17,922 --> 00:39:19,480 -Are you free right now? -I sure am. 991 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,183 Yeah? Okay. Come on over. 992 00:39:22,218 --> 00:39:24,193 I'm quite worried for her because right now 993 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:26,537 What I see is she doesn't trust us. 994 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:28,189 [indistinct conversation] 995 00:39:28,266 --> 00:39:30,124 [sarah] it's the same case with julio as well. 996 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,292 [micaela] yes. 997 00:39:31,294 --> 00:39:34,395 You guys are professionals, and she's not trusting that... 998 00:39:34,473 --> 00:39:36,214 -Yeah. -And that's really sad. 999 00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,156 Yeah. 1000 00:39:37,158 --> 00:39:39,167 And so, I really, really want to lean into... 1001 00:39:39,202 --> 00:39:42,720 The people she trusts, which is you, johnny. 1002 00:39:42,755 --> 00:39:46,048 It seems as though, really, she's trusting paul. 1003 00:39:46,126 --> 00:39:48,434 He is somebody who is... 1004 00:39:48,436 --> 00:39:50,962 Very connected to her. 1005 00:39:51,114 --> 00:39:53,597 And this is about her, and support for her, 1006 00:39:53,599 --> 00:39:55,658 And if he is somebody she trusts, 1007 00:39:55,735 --> 00:39:57,844 Then that's what we do. 1008 00:39:57,846 --> 00:39:59,336 -Yes. -Right? 1009 00:39:59,414 --> 00:40:02,415 I don't know paul, you know, two ways from Sunday, 1010 00:40:02,492 --> 00:40:05,810 But darlene seems to really like him. 1011 00:40:05,887 --> 00:40:08,129 I think he's going to help her process. 1012 00:40:08,164 --> 00:40:10,423 I think we need to talk to darlene about recycling 1013 00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:11,966 Some of these boxes. 1014 00:40:12,001 --> 00:40:14,152 She seems to be really, like, resonating with you, 1015 00:40:14,228 --> 00:40:15,728 And she's not listening to me. 1016 00:40:15,805 --> 00:40:17,805 This is such an easy thing to get rid of, 1017 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,064 And that's like a huge step. 1018 00:40:19,175 --> 00:40:22,001 I'll talk to her a little bit and see what the options are. 1019 00:40:22,003 --> 00:40:24,545 -Sound good? -Yeah, yeah. 1020 00:40:24,623 --> 00:40:26,648 -Yeah, okay. -Da- yeah. 1021 00:40:26,683 --> 00:40:29,767 Uh-huh. Hey, dar... 1022 00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:34,288 So, they've got plastic containers, lots of them... 1023 00:40:34,366 --> 00:40:35,356 Yeah. 1024 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:38,751 ...To make sure that everything is flood proof, 1025 00:40:38,828 --> 00:40:40,178 Will all be labelled. 1026 00:40:40,213 --> 00:40:45,090 So, they're basically saying there's no need for boxes, 1027 00:40:45,168 --> 00:40:48,594 But if you feel you absolutely need them, 1028 00:40:48,672 --> 00:40:50,538 What could happen is 1029 00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:53,198 We could fold them all up and stack them, 1030 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,526 At least they won't take up a lot of space. 1031 00:40:55,603 --> 00:40:57,770 Paul, you know, is almost encouraging her, like, 1032 00:40:57,847 --> 00:41:01,215 "we can collapse them and keep them for another day." 1033 00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:02,300 [darlene] apparently, everything's up to me. 1034 00:41:02,376 --> 00:41:04,635 So, it's so frustrating to me. 1035 00:41:04,712 --> 00:41:06,470 If you don't want to collapse the boxes, I'll do it. 1036 00:41:06,547 --> 00:41:08,623 I'm not collapsing boxes that we can get recycled. 1037 00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:10,241 Then you find something else that you want to go do. 1038 00:41:10,318 --> 00:41:11,450 What am I going to do? I can't get rid of anything! 1039 00:41:11,528 --> 00:41:12,801 I don't know, micaela, figure it out. 1040 00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:14,512 It sounds like you're not necessarily 1041 00:41:14,547 --> 00:41:16,389 Agreeing with darlene. 1042 00:41:16,466 --> 00:41:17,557 ♪ 1043 00:41:17,634 --> 00:41:19,458 I'm trying to be nice. 1044 00:41:19,536 --> 00:41:20,993 What is it that you want to say? 1045 00:41:20,995 --> 00:41:23,295 Well, this is, all needs to go. 1046 00:41:23,373 --> 00:41:25,206 This is all garbage, all of it. 1047 00:41:25,241 --> 00:41:27,558 Like I can't be here if- I cannot be here. 1048 00:41:27,635 --> 00:41:29,585 -[laughing] -darlene? 1049 00:41:29,662 --> 00:41:33,030 We're here to progress. This is not progressing. 1050 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:34,315 ♪ 1051 00:41:34,350 --> 00:41:35,983 Paul... 1052 00:41:36,018 --> 00:41:38,344 I'm having trouble with micaela, 1053 00:41:38,421 --> 00:41:40,755 And that's not working. 1054 00:41:40,790 --> 00:41:42,815 It's very evident that she's avoiding 1055 00:41:42,892 --> 00:41:44,209 The real problem at hand. 1056 00:41:44,318 --> 00:41:47,562 It's not about the boxes, it's about letting go. 1057 00:41:47,597 --> 00:41:49,413 Darlene, would you like paul to communicate 1058 00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:51,399 On your behalf with micaela? 1059 00:41:51,434 --> 00:41:53,384 Sure, because I think paul understands me 1060 00:41:53,419 --> 00:41:54,418 More than anyone does. 1061 00:41:54,495 --> 00:41:56,453 I do not want to have to defend myself. 1062 00:41:56,455 --> 00:41:58,831 To just collapse them and keep them there for now. 1063 00:41:58,908 --> 00:42:00,274 Where are they gonna go, dar? 1064 00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:01,609 I don't know. I mean, I could get 1065 00:42:01,686 --> 00:42:03,852 My pendulum out and I can check the pendulum 1066 00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:06,264 To see if I can completely get rid of them. 1067 00:42:06,340 --> 00:42:10,518 Paul, do you think that all of these need to be discarded? 1068 00:42:10,553 --> 00:42:12,403 I'm getting my pendulum. 1069 00:42:12,405 --> 00:42:14,847 As far as I'm concerned, all of the boxes should go. 1070 00:42:14,924 --> 00:42:16,908 Can you say that when she's here, though? 1071 00:42:16,943 --> 00:42:19,410 We're not the ones who need to hear that, she is. 1072 00:42:19,445 --> 00:42:23,447 And she holds so much value in everything you say. 1073 00:42:23,524 --> 00:42:24,932 I think you're missing the point. 1074 00:42:24,967 --> 00:42:28,936 I'm trying to come into alignment with her movement 1075 00:42:28,971 --> 00:42:30,696 So we can get more done. 1076 00:42:30,774 --> 00:42:32,957 Honestly, since the morning, I haven't seen you 1077 00:42:32,992 --> 00:42:34,458 Get anything done with her. 1078 00:42:34,493 --> 00:42:37,061 Last time I came here, we got her whole 1079 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,054 Deck cleaned, and it was garbage. 1080 00:42:39,056 --> 00:42:41,766 And I said, "this is garbage, you need to let it go." 1081 00:42:41,801 --> 00:42:42,950 [sarah] and I would love- 1082 00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,319 She completely lost it, going into trauma. 1083 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:48,547 And, major trauma, so it's not- you're not dealing with 1084 00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:53,052 A simple, rational person right now. 1085 00:42:53,129 --> 00:42:54,887 You're telling her, "hey, you take the lead." 1086 00:42:54,964 --> 00:42:56,497 But then on the same time, you're saying this is 1087 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,073 Somebody with complex trauma. 1088 00:42:58,075 --> 00:42:59,951 I don't think she's in a place to take the lead, 1089 00:42:59,986 --> 00:43:02,787 And that's why she needs her supports to step up. 1090 00:43:02,822 --> 00:43:06,124 Amongst everybody here, you are number one... 1091 00:43:06,159 --> 00:43:09,918 And you are the person who's not giving her that message. 1092 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,713 Okay, I hear you. I'll talk to her. 1093 00:43:12,715 --> 00:43:13,981 Okay, I'll do, do what I can. 1094 00:43:14,016 --> 00:43:16,417 It may look like on the surface that I could be 1095 00:43:16,452 --> 00:43:19,437 More influential in moving things forward 1096 00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:21,306 With, with dar. 1097 00:43:21,341 --> 00:43:22,974 [johnny] micaela? Okay? 1098 00:43:23,009 --> 00:43:26,077 Yeah, I'm good. I just, this is like, 1099 00:43:26,112 --> 00:43:30,189 How do you not see this is disgusting? 1100 00:43:30,191 --> 00:43:33,509 I'm trying to really understand how I can 1101 00:43:33,586 --> 00:43:36,821 Best support her, and whether, you know, 1102 00:43:36,856 --> 00:43:41,867 The tough approach is actually going to help. 1103 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:43,711 Can we talk for one sec? 1104 00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:45,847 I just had a massive realization. 1105 00:43:45,882 --> 00:43:48,415 I've been making other people's problems and 1106 00:43:48,417 --> 00:43:51,169 Projections my problem. Micaela's problem with boxes 1107 00:43:51,204 --> 00:43:54,029 Is her problem, but I keep on feeling that projection, 1108 00:43:54,107 --> 00:43:55,206 Making it my problem. 1109 00:43:55,282 --> 00:44:00,135 Mhm. But if you put them out of the way right now... 1110 00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:01,696 What do you want? Like, 1111 00:44:01,731 --> 00:44:05,641 What is going to make sure we get as much done 1112 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,686 As we can for you? It would be, 1113 00:44:08,721 --> 00:44:14,082 Make sense to let the boxes go and clear that out. 1114 00:44:14,084 --> 00:44:15,092 I mean, these boxes, right? 1115 00:44:15,170 --> 00:44:16,977 Ah, that would be nice, if there's enough. 1116 00:44:17,054 --> 00:44:19,714 ♪ 1117 00:44:19,749 --> 00:44:21,282 Huh. 1118 00:44:21,317 --> 00:44:23,034 Okay. 1119 00:44:23,069 --> 00:44:24,902 It's a challenge right now, 1120 00:44:24,937 --> 00:44:27,705 It's a big challenge to get through to her. 1121 00:44:27,740 --> 00:44:30,658 The crew, the crew's like ready to do something with 1122 00:44:30,693 --> 00:44:32,985 That area, but they can't move because of the boxes. 1123 00:44:33,062 --> 00:44:37,215 So, is it valuable enough to stop the project moving? 1124 00:44:37,250 --> 00:44:39,384 Why don't they all take a break and... 1125 00:44:39,419 --> 00:44:41,419 They can all check themselves and figure out, 1126 00:44:41,495 --> 00:44:43,921 And I'm just going to figure out and do me. 1127 00:44:43,998 --> 00:44:55,333 ♪ 1128 00:44:55,368 --> 00:44:58,010 [humming] 1129 00:44:58,087 --> 00:44:59,678 [coughing] 1130 00:44:59,756 --> 00:45:01,322 ♪ 1131 00:45:01,357 --> 00:45:03,290 2013. 1132 00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:04,625 ♪ 1133 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:05,702 Johnny? 1134 00:45:05,778 --> 00:45:09,372 [indistinct chatter in background] 1135 00:45:09,449 --> 00:45:14,034 ♪ 1136 00:45:14,036 --> 00:45:15,961 [clanging] 1137 00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:16,779 What was that? 1138 00:45:16,781 --> 00:45:19,774 That was a 1976 bottle of old coffee. 1139 00:45:19,776 --> 00:45:22,226 Yeah, but, johnny, it's up to me! 1140 00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:23,719 -Okay! -Not you! 1141 00:45:23,796 --> 00:45:27,048 Like even if I want to get rid of it, it's totally me.