1 00:00:06,749 --> 00:00:08,065 (intense music) 2 00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:10,759 - When I first met jim, I had no idea he was a hoarder. 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:16,022 - I've always been able to keep her away from my house. 4 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,791 - How can you live like this? 5 00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:18,851 I'm so sorry. (crying) 6 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,287 - [david] I see you say, let it go, 7 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,689 And then I see you picking through the pile. 8 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:27,267 - I buy it for 50 bucks and then they just throw it away. 9 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,786 - Get off your ass and come over here and help. 10 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,989 - I don't know if we're gonna get very far. 11 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,358 - [dorothy] if we leave it like this, 12 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,076 This will have been for nothing. 13 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,654 This is an impossible challenge. 14 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,581 - He's choosing things over people. 15 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,432 - [jim] the truth is I want 'em both. 16 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,143 - Jimmy, quit making excuses. 17 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,461 Come and help. 18 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:46,295 - You need to go. 19 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:47,637 - You need to. 20 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,956 - Get out of my face. - Get out of our face. 21 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,383 - I can't be here anymore. 22 00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:55,804 (intense music) 23 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:27,920 (lively music) 24 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:44,770 (door squeaks) 25 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:51,276 - I'm jim and I'm a retired electrician. 26 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,689 I suppose I could say that I accumulated 27 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,449 All this stuff by mistake, 28 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,945 But that would have to mean a lot of mistakes. 29 00:02:02,147 --> 00:02:04,540 (rock music) 30 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:18,879 I woke up one day and said, 31 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,640 "where did all this stuff come from?" 32 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,147 I am a hoarder. 33 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:40,141 I like to collect tools for sure. 34 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:43,570 (intense music) 35 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:47,749 Camera things, electronics of all types, 36 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,962 Computer components and gizmos, 37 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,673 Survival stuff. 38 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,137 Got tons of books. 39 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,424 I've got materials from projects 40 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:08,061 That I thought would be financially beneficial 41 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,688 But somehow I got sidetracked 42 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:14,860 And I could actually fill up a warehouse I sometimes think. 43 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:20,590 - [elesha] it's time for a couple pills here. 44 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:21,441 - [jim] couple of pills. 45 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,476 Let's have a couple pills. 46 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:25,621 - I'm elesha and jim is my dad. 47 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,123 All right, down you go. 48 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,051 (sad music) 49 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:35,464 In 2019 when I lost my last job, I felt broken. 50 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:39,718 I moved in with my dad. 51 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,963 He thought, well, maybe we can help each other. 52 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,889 We can get this place cleaned up 53 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,800 And you can kind of find yourself again. 54 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,711 And along the way, that didn't, 55 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,896 That didn't happen. 56 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,651 Living in the middle of my dads hoard, 57 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,655 It's been the most difficult experience of my life. 58 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:03,483 You know feeling claustrophobic and suffocated in there. 59 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,744 I wouldn't wish it on anyone. 60 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:11,833 - My daughter's a good girl and I do love her. 61 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,146 Yeah, some kind of a hawk in there or is that an owl? 62 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,006 It must have had something. 63 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,333 We get along pretty good together, 64 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:24,805 But she doesn't like the fact that I've got such a mess 65 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,349 And of course neither do I. 66 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,604 (sad music) 67 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,780 - In 2016, the city came out and did a force cleanup 68 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:45,859 And the police were there. 69 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:50,330 And my dad at the time, he was obviously resistant. 70 00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,833 And as they were loading things into the truck, 71 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,836 He was actually going up to the truck. 72 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,188 They had to discourage him. 73 00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,715 I mean my dad, he's... 74 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,192 He's a peaceful guy, 75 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:03,393 So he's not gonna do anything. 76 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,804 He just wanted his stuff. 77 00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,399 - They did a forced lien on me 78 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:14,354 And the lien was $35,000, which was shocking. 79 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,857 I heard there was gonna be a lien, 80 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,151 But I had no idea it was that high. 81 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,404 Of course I was still feeling very 82 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:28,393 Stung from the forced cleanup. 83 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,120 And so I guess that probably contributed to the fact 84 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:35,250 That I was prone to making the same mistake twice. 85 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,228 - If the cleanup is not done, 86 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,897 The city will come again and they will take everything. 87 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,157 They will place another lien. 88 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,159 And if that happens, 89 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:47,429 He's not gonna be able to keep the house. 90 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,684 - I'm larry and I'm jim's brother. 91 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,772 Jim was a hoarder right from childhood. 92 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,375 (intense music) 93 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,603 As a kid, he would collect toys and clothes 94 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,788 And all kinds of oddball things 95 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,723 That I didn't see where he had immediate need for 'em 96 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:12,370 But he always had gleam in his eyes just collecting things. 97 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,582 And one of the things he perfectly had 98 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:16,950 And still feels that way now 99 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:19,302 Is he don't want to give it up 100 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,670 Once he accumulated it. 101 00:06:28,747 --> 00:06:29,930 - Throughout his life, 102 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,873 There have been several things that would qualify 103 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,434 As substantial trauma for my father 104 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,303 That have impacted him deeply and that have changed him. 105 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,772 - In the last weeks of summer, 106 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,807 Jesus decided to take the 12 107 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,485 Into the hill country of galilee. 108 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,241 (sad music) 109 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:57,416 Probably the most incredible thing I saw while I was there, 110 00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,168 We were driving across the mekong river 111 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,148 And the stench of dead bodies 112 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,917 Was so incredible, 113 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:12,764 That there were thousands of dead bodies in the river. 114 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,685 I puked and retched and screamed. 115 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,687 It was... 116 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,691 It was absolutely horrific. 117 00:07:23,802 --> 00:07:25,518 - That time he spent in vietnam, 118 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,687 The things that he saw and some of the things 119 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:28,864 That he had to do, 120 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:33,160 He gave his all in that service. 121 00:07:33,412 --> 00:07:35,628 He gave parts of himself that I don't think anybody 122 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,748 Should ever have to give up in the name of war. 123 00:07:43,455 --> 00:07:45,797 (calm music) 124 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,297 - When I got back from vietnam, 125 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,557 We were living in nebraska 126 00:07:56,602 --> 00:07:58,885 In a little town outside of omaha 127 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,831 And then I was commuting to offutt air force base 128 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:03,982 Where I was working. 129 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,904 (sad music) 130 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:17,662 - Robbie was my older brother. 131 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,750 He died about two weeks before his second birthday. 132 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,486 - We went off to sleep and it was a normal night 133 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,322 We thought and woke up the next morning 134 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,342 And he was dangling 135 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:36,097 On the side of his bed and he was dead. 136 00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,600 And when we found him, you know, 137 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,769 We just fell apart. 138 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,688 It was difficult to come back from that. 139 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,194 - For years, just bringing up robbie's name, 140 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,113 He would cry 141 00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,449 And he still does. 142 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,508 - I met wanda a couple of years after the divorce 143 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,118 And we got along really well. 144 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:18,039 And we lived together for the first four or five years 145 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,850 And then we got married. 146 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,736 We enjoyed exploring 147 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:25,372 And we would go to the mountains 148 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,007 And go to various waterfalls 149 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:31,719 And caves and things like that. 150 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,980 We went to flea markets. 151 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:39,244 She didn't want to entertain my hoarding but she did 152 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,265 Because, you know, we both enjoyed walking 153 00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:46,518 Around flea markets and thrift stores 154 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,095 And talking to people and laughing, you know? 155 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:53,425 Because it didn't cost anything, well didn't cost much. 156 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,012 You know, we would buy a few things. 157 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,100 (sad music) 158 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,175 I thought she was going to the bathroom, 159 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,570 But apparently she was in there changing the light bulbs 160 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,905 In the light bar. 161 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,858 I was dozing off on the couch 162 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,119 And then I heard her holler my name 163 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,122 And I heard the crash of her falling off of the little stool 164 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,542 She was on and she fell right into the floor. 165 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:33,173 And so I came back there and she was in the floor, 166 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:37,277 She wasn't moving, she wasn't talking. 167 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:41,881 I called 911 and when the emts came in, 168 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,769 They shocked her six times and no response. 169 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,825 - It was a massive heart attack. 170 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:55,945 There was a blood clot and he lost her. 171 00:10:56,815 --> 00:10:59,741 That threw my dad into a spiral. 172 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:04,770 - After my wife died, I went into a tailspin. 173 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,665 Felt like I fell off a mountain. 174 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,061 It took me months to get to where I could actually, 175 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,963 You know, feel like I could move. 176 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,450 And after that, 177 00:11:17,452 --> 00:11:20,286 I started going to flea markets 178 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,014 And thrift stores more regularly. 179 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,184 That really made me feel better. 180 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:39,155 - I met jim several months ago in a department store. 181 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:45,778 They played nice music and I was dancing in a corner. 182 00:11:45,997 --> 00:11:49,690 He came over and started dancing with me 183 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,668 And then he introduced himself. 184 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,722 - She was crazy enough to give me her phone number 185 00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:59,751 And I was crazy enough to call her back. 186 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:03,279 And so we started seeing each other. 187 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:07,142 - When I first met jim, I had no idea he was a hoarder. 188 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:11,479 - I've always been able to keep her away from my house. 189 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,381 I'd always say, well, let's go down here 190 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,549 And get something to eat 191 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,360 Or let's go there and get a cup of coffee. 192 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,240 - I now know he is a hoarder 193 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:25,493 And I haven't seen the inside of his house. 194 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:31,166 I do care about him, he's a good soul 195 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:34,418 And we're supposed to help each other. 196 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,880 We were placed on this earth to help each other. 197 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,024 - I have no way of predicting what's gonna happen. 198 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:44,220 I know that he is not happy about cleaning his property up 199 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,974 And he's a little nervous and I think he's uncertain 200 00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,326 As whether he really wants to do it or not. 201 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:53,496 (intense music) 202 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,775 - I love my dad and I want to be there for him and with him. 203 00:12:57,903 --> 00:13:00,987 But I have sacrificed parts of myself 204 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,280 That I'm gonna have to fight to get back. 205 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:06,600 Part of that fight may mean me ultimately not being there 206 00:13:06,803 --> 00:13:08,119 If nothing changes. 207 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:25,619 - Code enforcement knows how to express 208 00:13:25,822 --> 00:13:28,181 The 400 pound gorilla. 209 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:35,313 They're threatening me with another forced cleanup. 210 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,626 And they're saying that this time, 211 00:13:40,628 --> 00:13:43,404 They don't have to give me any warning. 212 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:05,601 - Hi jim. 213 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:06,736 (jim laughs) 214 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,595 Dr. David tolin, how are you? 215 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,606 - All right. - Very nice to meet you. 216 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,999 I'm dr. David tolin. 217 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,577 I'm a clinical psychologist and I specialize in the study 218 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,837 And treatment of hoarding disorder. 219 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:17,763 May I come in? 220 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:19,566 - Come on in. - All right. 221 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,283 - [jim] do not stand out in that rain. 222 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,361 - [david] it is cold and wet out there. 223 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,364 Okay. - It it's been tested, 224 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,199 It won't fall. 225 00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,928 And here I thought I tested that. 226 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,596 (jim laughs) 227 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,915 - Well, it certainly raises the issue of hazard. 228 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,451 And I wonder, you know, do you feel safe in this house? 229 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,286 - Oh, I feel safe. - You do? 230 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,364 - I can say that there's nothing in here 231 00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,549 That can fall on me 232 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,884 That I can't get out of. 233 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,386 - Okay, understood, understood. 234 00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,872 This is a very densely packed house 235 00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:53,299 And you get the impression that jim 236 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,517 Has created a barricade here. 237 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,996 I see you've got a lot of survival gear here, jim. 238 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,814 - Yeah. - Yeah, what's that about? 239 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,650 - Well, I guess you hadn't heard 240 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,661 The world is ending next week. 241 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,813 (jim laughs) 242 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,223 - [david] is that what you're preparing for? 243 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,300 - Well that's what I thought I was doing. 244 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:14,137 And to at least feel as though 245 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,413 I had most of the things 246 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,325 That I might need in a desperate situation. 247 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:20,493 - Understood. 248 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,296 As I point out some of the survivalist stuff 249 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:28,167 And all the kind of doomsday prep that jim has in the house, 250 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:32,347 He's able to concede that maybe he is erecting a wall 251 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,508 Between him and the outside world. 252 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,643 If that's the case, 253 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,936 Then it's gonna be that much harder 254 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,547 For us to get him to let go of things. 255 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,359 They give him a sense of safety, of security. 256 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:47,945 Why are we here to clean up now? 257 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:52,283 - The code enforcers were about to 258 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:57,621 Pay me an unpleasant visit. 259 00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:02,794 Now all they intend to do is to just throw everything away 260 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,888 And tell me that all of my time and money 261 00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,223 Was totally wasted. 262 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,692 - I see, so kind of what's at stake 263 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,952 Is that the code enforcement people are coming in 264 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,346 And telling you you have to clean up 265 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,231 And if you don't, they're gonna start throwing stuff out? 266 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,791 - That was definitely a significant element. 267 00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,811 - That'll do it, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 268 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,147 - Well, so I appreciate you showing me this area 269 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,648 And I wonder if we could go look at the kitchen. 270 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,742 - Oh, by all means. - All right, lead the way. 271 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,977 - [jim] follow me. 272 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,488 (sad music) 273 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,490 - So as I look at this kitchen, 274 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,511 I wonder how are you cooking and eating? 275 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,205 - [jim] well, I sit on my chair and eat. 276 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,589 - [david] right here? 277 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:44,085 - And I got my two burners oven where I cook. 278 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:48,155 - Is that a gas stove? - Yeah. 279 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,506 I know it's suicidal. 280 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,218 - [david] so jim, this is really not safe. 281 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:53,177 - It is. 282 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,347 I haven't had a single flare up. 283 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,641 - Not yet, thank goodness, knock on wood. 284 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,945 I also get a sense that there's a real safety hazard here. 285 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:06,232 Not just from stuff falling on you, which could happen, 286 00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,601 But fire risk with all that stuff 287 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,436 Piled around the kitchen stove. 288 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,621 So where do you spend your time? 289 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,515 - I spend a lot of my time right here. 290 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,758 - [david] right here in this chair? 291 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,368 - Yeah, right here in this chair. 292 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:22,247 And of course I used to be able 293 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,334 To go into the den and work on the computer, 294 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,711 But it got overgrown 295 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,923 And then a cat jumped up on my desk 296 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,258 And dumped everything out 297 00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,368 And I just haven't felt like 298 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,961 Getting it all organized again. 299 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:36,929 - [david] okay. 300 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,599 Jim, can we go see your room? 301 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,451 - Let's do it. - All right, let's do it. 302 00:17:42,612 --> 00:17:44,187 (sad music) 303 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,713 So this is your bedroom, jim. 304 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:51,051 - [jim] yeah, this is the luxury palace. 305 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,661 - When I walk into the bedroom, 306 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,739 My immediate emotional reaction was one of sadness. 307 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,951 I was just imagining if jim was my father 308 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,120 Living in that condition, 309 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,729 I would be heartbroken. 310 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:03,672 Where do you sleep? 311 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:04,731 Let's start there. 312 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:08,127 - Well, I sleep on that shelf at the bed. 313 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,254 - Just on the little corner of the bed 314 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,406 And the rest of it is cluttered up, okay. 315 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:13,649 - [david] yep. 316 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,850 - Well, I'm just sort of wondering 317 00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,743 If you have a sense of what's going on here. 318 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,988 - Oh, I've got a sense of what's going on 319 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,080 And I'm not happy about it, 320 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:24,769 But life must go on. 321 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,031 - So what do you think is the bottom line 322 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,674 In terms of how this is all progressing 323 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,276 And how this all happened? 324 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:37,657 - It seemed to make sense as I was going along. 325 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,783 - Yeah. - But I finally 326 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,677 Got overwhelmed. 327 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,995 - [david] yeah, it sounds that way. 328 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,872 - [jim] and then here I am. 329 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,383 I'm gonna have to get rid of some of this stuff, 330 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,218 There's no doubt about it. 331 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:50,353 - I think you're right. 332 00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:54,464 Yeah, I think that there's probably no way 333 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,792 That we're just gonna be able to organize all this stuff. 334 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:59,362 I mean, I think a lot of it's just gonna have to go. 335 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:01,197 - [jim] well I think it could be organized, 336 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,623 But it'd probably take a year. 337 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,309 - Yeah and I think you'd still have a very full house. 338 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,461 - Yeah, yeah and the place would still be packed. 339 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:08,645 - Yeah. 340 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,706 So that's really gonna be the big challenge 341 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,692 For you I think in these next several days 342 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,551 Is being willing to let go of things, 343 00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,946 Even things that you might feel some attachment to. 344 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,580 - That's true, that is true. 345 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,233 - [david] do you feel ready to start that process? 346 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,309 - Yeah, I'm ready. 347 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,053 - Okay. - I just am not sure 348 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,647 How well I will make it through, 349 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,073 But I'm ready to try. 350 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,393 - What do you think is the worst case scenario? 351 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,244 (sad music) 352 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,214 - Well the worst case scenario is that 353 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,267 Maybe I'll just fall apart 354 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:44,340 Or maybe I'll get enraged. 355 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,850 - Okay. - I don't know. 356 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,729 - Okay, well I want you to know that if you do feel upset, 357 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,764 You can talk to me and it's okay. 358 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,933 You know, I mean this does stir up feelings 359 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,451 And I totally get that. 360 00:19:55,612 --> 00:20:00,205 This is not gonna be an easy process for you emotionally. 361 00:20:00,283 --> 00:20:01,623 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 362 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,951 Well, it was pretty tough getting to where we're at. 363 00:20:06,164 --> 00:20:07,914 And I'm wondering how much more tougher 364 00:20:08,124 --> 00:20:10,041 It's gonna have to be trying to, 365 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,043 You know, muddle through. 366 00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,695 - Yeah, I think there's gonna be a lot of work 367 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,306 In front of you over these next several days, 368 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,459 A lot of emotional work, not just, not just physical labor. 369 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,644 But you're gonna have to be willing to tolerate 370 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,888 And cope with some of the emotions that come up with that 371 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,373 And I'll be there to help you with that. 372 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,767 - [jim] okay. 373 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,618 - And let's talk logistics. 374 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,895 The next step is I'd like to take you outside 375 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,898 And I want you to meet our clutter expert, dorothy. 376 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,158 Now dorothy and her team are the ones 377 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,611 Who are gonna be actually removing things from the house 378 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,888 And letting you decide about what kinds of things to keep 379 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,532 And what to let go of. 380 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:44,700 Let's go out and meet dorothy, 381 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:45,892 All right? - Okay, let's go. 382 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:46,827 I'll follow you. 383 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,156 - Dr. Tolin. - Hello, dorothy, 384 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,508 How are you? - Hello, hello. 385 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,493 - So good to see you. - Good to see you too. 386 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,011 - And I have somebody I'd like you to meet. 387 00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:56,796 This is jim. 388 00:20:57,006 --> 00:20:57,904 Jim, this is dorothy. 389 00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,014 - [dorothy] I'll wait for you to, 390 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:00,966 I'll one of these. 391 00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:02,760 Hi hun, nice to meet you. 392 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,703 - [jim] pleasure. 393 00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:05,929 - I'm dorothy breininger. 394 00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,656 I'm a professional organizing expert 395 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,508 And I specialize in hoarding. 396 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,677 And for you, I'd like for you to meet digna. 397 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,562 - Hi digna, how are you? - Digna, this is dr. Tolin. 398 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,030 - Dr. Tolin, nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you. 399 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,149 - The two of you know, each other already of course. 400 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:20,026 - Hi jim. - We've been introduced. 401 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,945 - How long have you known each other and? 402 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,638 - Five or six months. - About six months, yeah. 403 00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,940 - Okay, okay, great. 404 00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,850 You had a little tour inside, yes? 405 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,535 - We went through and I'll be interested 406 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,787 To get your take on it when you go through. 407 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:32,998 - I actually have been in. 408 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:35,034 So I'm going to be taking digna in next 409 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,669 'cause you've never been inside. 410 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:38,129 Is that correct? - No. 411 00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:40,589 - Do you have anything you wanna say 412 00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:43,634 About the inside of your house before digna goes in? 413 00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:47,321 - Be careful. 414 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:48,931 - Be careful, yeah. - Yeah. 415 00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,959 - So why do we get going and head inside, all right? 416 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,688 - As I'm preparing to go into the house, 417 00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,191 I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. 418 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:05,156 I'm kind of scared of what I'm truly going to encounter. 419 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:08,409 (intense music) 420 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:12,705 Oh (beep). 421 00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,260 Oh my gosh. 422 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,599 Dorothy, what's the smell? 423 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:37,521 - It's cat urine and 424 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,608 Maybe some dog poo. 425 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,027 You know, over the years. 426 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,489 - [digna] it's getting to my eyes. 427 00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:48,640 - [dorothy] so you're telling me 428 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,033 You're starting to shake already? 429 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,243 - [digna] yeah, I'm starting to shake already. 430 00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:52,536 - [dorothy] tell me what that's about. 431 00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:54,855 - [digna] it's unbelievable that somebody 432 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,457 Can live like this. 433 00:22:58,127 --> 00:23:00,360 - Digna and I are inside the hoard. 434 00:23:00,463 --> 00:23:01,528 We're not that far in, 435 00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,196 I'm just introducing her to the space. 436 00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,758 You said your eyes were burning a little? 437 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:08,743 She's feeling her heart palpitating 438 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,638 She's so nervous going in. 439 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:15,876 How is it that you are strong enough or committed enough 440 00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:17,469 To this person, jim, 441 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:25,069 To come in and help him with this kind of a situation? 442 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:28,697 - Oh, dorothy, I'm touched. 443 00:23:28,858 --> 00:23:30,633 (digna sobs) 444 00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:33,243 (sad music) 445 00:23:33,246 --> 00:23:35,320 - Oh, oh honey. 446 00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:37,731 - And I was just gonna help with what's outside 447 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,399 Because that's what we're supposed to do, 448 00:23:39,544 --> 00:23:40,976 We're supposed to help each other. 449 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,844 - [dorothy] oh gosh, oh my. 450 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,513 - [digna] no, I'm so sorry. 451 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,257 - Oh, it's okay, it's okay, honey. 452 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,342 It's okay. 453 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,987 Thank you for telling me how you feel. 454 00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,305 - This is it's awful. 455 00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:56,175 I can't breathe, I don't know how you can breathing here 456 00:23:56,394 --> 00:23:57,676 And my chest is starting to hurt, 457 00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,270 My eyes are burning and that's from the urine 458 00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:02,998 That you say, you know? - Yeah, I'm so sorry. 459 00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,625 - The cat peeing in the house. 460 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,528 And I mean, how can you live like this? 461 00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:13,300 How, how can you not know that it is not right? 462 00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:14,710 - Yeah. 463 00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:17,437 Most people come in and go, wow, I can't believe this 464 00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:19,105 And almost get angry, 465 00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:22,626 But she went inward and just was shaking. 466 00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:25,295 I really feel you're shaking and you're worried 467 00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:26,672 And your tears. 468 00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:29,708 She just couldn't understand this. 469 00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:31,694 Let me do one of these, okay? 470 00:24:31,762 --> 00:24:33,888 Come here, it's okay, it's okay. 471 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,462 She is so overcome with physical and mental duress 472 00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:44,965 That we can't even take a tour of the rest of the house. 473 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,401 Like that was all she could do. 474 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,330 She's feeling a little dizzy, okay? 475 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:52,814 - Okay. - Yeah, yeah I'm dizzy. 476 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,250 - You all right, digna? 477 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:57,569 Well, so you've had a chance to look inside the house 478 00:24:57,830 --> 00:25:00,997 And digna, be really curious to get your reactions. 479 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:04,393 - Well, I've never been invited to his house, 480 00:25:04,462 --> 00:25:05,485 Inside the house. 481 00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:07,396 In fact the only thing I met 482 00:25:07,465 --> 00:25:09,215 Was the outside of the house. 483 00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:12,092 And I was overwhelmed with the outside of the house. 484 00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:17,606 Going inside the house, the smell was overwhelming, 485 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:18,848 The burning in my eyes, 486 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,409 I don't know how he could live like that. 487 00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:21,644 I don't understand it. 488 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,030 - Well must be conditioning. 489 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,933 - And you know, I started to get very nervous. 490 00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,601 - [david] what was making you nervous? 491 00:25:29,779 --> 00:25:32,321 - Because I felt I'm being closed in. 492 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:33,489 - Yeah. - You know, 493 00:25:33,691 --> 00:25:34,773 I'm losing my freedom. 494 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:35,908 My freedom of movement. 495 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,058 - It's pretty claustrophobic in there. 496 00:25:37,161 --> 00:25:38,277 - [digna] yes, yes. 497 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:39,936 - She was having an anxiety attack. 498 00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:41,780 - And I was happening an anxiety attack. 499 00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:43,189 - Sure, I can understand that. 500 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,933 You feeling okay now? 501 00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,952 - Well, I'm still kind of nervous. 502 00:25:47,195 --> 00:25:48,187 I'm still kind of nervous. 503 00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:49,538 - You still feel nervous? - Yup. 504 00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:51,973 - Okay, what's your thought about digna's reaction? 505 00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:55,127 I mean, she really got pretty upset in there. 506 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,204 - And yeah, I'm pretty upset. 507 00:25:58,349 --> 00:26:01,300 But that doesn't do any good, so. 508 00:26:01,519 --> 00:26:03,226 - What are you feeling upset about, jim? 509 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:04,636 - Well, what I'm feeling upset about 510 00:26:04,814 --> 00:26:06,305 Is the fact that she's feeling upset 511 00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:09,358 And that's, you know, not good. 512 00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:11,126 That's not right. 513 00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:12,653 - This is hard on everybody. 514 00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,398 You know, it's not just one person who's suffering here. 515 00:26:16,534 --> 00:26:18,300 It's you, it's your daughter, 516 00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:19,576 It's those around you. 517 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:23,122 - I know I spoke to elesha one time and she, 518 00:26:23,374 --> 00:26:26,416 When I was talking to her about the outside and she says, 519 00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:29,085 Well, it's not any better in the inside. 520 00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:32,331 And I said, well, elesha and I asked her, 521 00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:34,499 I said, do you tell your father? 522 00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:37,052 And she says, I have, d, I have, 523 00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,413 But he does what he wants to do. 524 00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:42,174 He's not gonna listen to me. 525 00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:44,977 - What's interesting is to know that you, 526 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:47,529 I think you feel comfortable in the house 527 00:26:47,607 --> 00:26:49,315 The way it is, right jim? 528 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:51,925 - It's an adaptive thing, I'm adapted. 529 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:54,444 - You're adapted, so you're comfortable there 530 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:58,357 And yet I went in with digna and I watched her go from, 531 00:26:58,618 --> 00:27:02,118 You know, chatty to having absolutely nothing to say, 532 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:05,331 To literally her hands were shaking that much, 533 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:10,460 An anxiety attack, tears, crying, worry, concern. 534 00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:14,840 I mean, it was just like, it happened that fast, you know? 535 00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:17,542 So I mean, there's a big difference 536 00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,979 Between how you both see this situation for sure. 537 00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:23,015 - Yeah. - But jim came 538 00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:26,885 To my home and you adapted very well. 539 00:27:27,104 --> 00:27:28,586 - Yeah. - You adapted very well 540 00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:31,039 And my home is not like yours. 541 00:27:31,108 --> 00:27:33,725 (jim nervously chuckles) 542 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,151 - But you're kind of laughing, jim, 543 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,329 But I wonder if that's part of the deflection. 544 00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:39,231 - Yeah, that's me just saying, you know, 545 00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:41,233 I would rather laugh than cry. 546 00:27:41,410 --> 00:27:42,734 - Yeah, well, you know, 547 00:27:42,953 --> 00:27:44,811 This is gonna stir up a lot of emotions 548 00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:46,329 I think in everybody 549 00:27:46,415 --> 00:27:50,058 And I think we're seeing just a bit of that today. 550 00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:52,728 - I mean, I'm real sorry, jim, 551 00:27:52,797 --> 00:27:53,745 That you live like that. 552 00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:55,655 I am, I really am. 553 00:27:55,758 --> 00:27:58,258 (digna cries) 554 00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:00,094 - [jim] come on. 555 00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:04,622 - This is terrible that you can, 556 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:07,092 I don't even know how you can sleep without, 557 00:28:07,311 --> 00:28:10,170 'cause you gotta breathe, you gotta inhale 558 00:28:10,314 --> 00:28:11,596 And your eyes are burning. 559 00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:14,483 I don't understand how anybody can live like that. 560 00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:19,087 - Well. 561 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,021 - I get a sense that digna's 562 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:21,757 Really worried for you, jim. 563 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:23,867 And I'll tell you, I am too. 564 00:28:24,954 --> 00:28:26,945 - Yeah, me too. - Yeah, you're worried? 565 00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:28,580 - Well, of course. - Okay, 566 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:30,282 So we're all feeling kind of worried 567 00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,524 About this. - How could I see 568 00:28:31,711 --> 00:28:33,435 All this anxiety and be the source of it 569 00:28:33,504 --> 00:28:35,003 And not be concerned? 570 00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:38,790 - These are your latter years. 571 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:42,535 You're not supposed to die like this, jimmy. 572 00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,847 This is not the way you're supposed to go. 573 00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:48,934 You're supposed to go golfing or go doing, 574 00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:51,060 Going to the movies or going to dinner 575 00:28:51,147 --> 00:28:53,789 Or going these things, but not like this. 576 00:28:53,899 --> 00:28:54,881 - You know, there's a crisis 577 00:28:55,025 --> 00:28:57,642 With her heart right now, yeah? 578 00:28:57,862 --> 00:29:01,387 There's a little crisis and we have a big crisis 579 00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,498 To deal with for you, right? 580 00:29:03,576 --> 00:29:04,741 - The fix is here. 581 00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:08,244 - I'm ready to really help you with this. 582 00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:10,580 - That's really great and I appreciate it. 583 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,823 - [dorothy] you're gonna be okay with this? 584 00:29:12,001 --> 00:29:13,399 Gimme those hands. 585 00:29:13,586 --> 00:29:15,127 I'm gonna be tough on you sometimes. 586 00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:17,662 - Oh yeah, well you're right. - And I'm old him, 587 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:21,516 I told him that when they come out here to help him, 588 00:29:21,677 --> 00:29:24,744 I said, james robert, you better cooperate. 589 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:25,988 - [dorothy] there's a lot of stuff here 590 00:29:26,056 --> 00:29:27,355 That you're attached to, 591 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,974 Right? - Yes, of course. 592 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:30,767 Yes, yes, yes. - So that's where 593 00:29:30,853 --> 00:29:32,478 The big work is gonna happen, sir. 594 00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:35,271 - And I'm afraid that he's gonna think I'm crazy. 595 00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:36,648 - I don't think you're crazy, jim. 596 00:29:36,859 --> 00:29:38,775 But I think you're suffering 597 00:29:38,861 --> 00:29:40,652 And I think you're stuck in a particular pattern 598 00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:42,821 Of doing things that hasn't worked for you. 599 00:29:43,032 --> 00:29:44,189 - That seems to be the case. 600 00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:45,824 - So the big challenge over these next several days 601 00:29:46,035 --> 00:29:47,859 Is gonna be for you to do things differently 602 00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:49,377 And I'm gonna challenge you to do that 603 00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:50,879 And dorothy's gonna challenge you to do that. 604 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,865 We're gonna have to get you outside of your comfort zone 605 00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:56,018 And get you doing things that are hard, 606 00:29:56,086 --> 00:29:57,503 That don't feel so good, 607 00:29:57,797 --> 00:30:01,373 But you're gonna have to work on tolerating those emotions. 608 00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:03,616 I think it's gonna be a challenge 609 00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:07,136 To get him to honestly face his emotions, 610 00:30:07,223 --> 00:30:10,473 To recognize that his behavior is out of control 611 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,901 And to make a conscious reason decision 612 00:30:12,978 --> 00:30:15,037 To do something different. 613 00:30:15,231 --> 00:30:17,480 I think if you can do that, we're gonna be very successful. 614 00:30:17,608 --> 00:30:20,567 But if he can't, I don't know if we're gonna get very far. 615 00:30:21,779 --> 00:30:24,112 (sad music) 616 00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:49,754 - Good morning, everyone. 617 00:30:49,974 --> 00:30:51,472 - Good morning, dorothy. - Good morning. 618 00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:52,507 - Well, thank you. 619 00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:54,393 Thank you so much, digna. 620 00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:59,347 Listen jim, we are all here to help you 621 00:30:59,549 --> 00:31:01,750 And we want to acknowledge you 622 00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,795 As being a vietnam veteran. 623 00:31:04,947 --> 00:31:06,104 - Thank you. - So I'm going to address you 624 00:31:06,323 --> 00:31:09,941 This morning as corporal jim, all right? 625 00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:12,711 And this is your platoon. 626 00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:16,381 Here is dr. Tolin, he's one of your platoon leaders, 627 00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,374 I'm your other platoon leader 628 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:21,536 And everyone here is reporting for duty, right? 629 00:31:21,797 --> 00:31:26,717 So jim, we are here for you. - Reporting for duty. 630 00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:29,202 - That's just a little bit of levity 631 00:31:29,305 --> 00:31:31,113 To get our morning started. 632 00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:32,388 We also wanna meet the family. 633 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,707 So elesha, you are jim's daughter. 634 00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,484 - Yes I am. - Yes. 635 00:31:36,562 --> 00:31:38,586 Digna, you are jim's friend. 636 00:31:38,588 --> 00:31:39,804 - [digna] yes I am. 637 00:31:40,024 --> 00:31:42,231 - [dorothy] and d, you're the daughter of digna. 638 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:43,324 - [d] yes, I am. 639 00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:45,485 - We also have larry, which is your brother. 640 00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,903 He's not here right now, 641 00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:48,813 But he'll be joining us a little bit later, right? 642 00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:50,056 - [jim] I hope so. 643 00:31:50,159 --> 00:31:50,824 - Me too. - Me too. 644 00:31:50,993 --> 00:31:52,083 - Thank you, dorothy. 645 00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:53,576 And jim, good to see you this morning. 646 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,595 Jim, I wanna check in and see how you're feeling today. 647 00:31:55,597 --> 00:31:56,337 How you doing? 648 00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,689 - Well I'm doing pretty good, 649 00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:00,066 But most of my muscles are camped out somewhere else. 650 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:01,234 - Okay, well you're not gonna need 651 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,544 A whole lot of muscle power today, 652 00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:04,487 But you are gonna need brain power 653 00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:06,514 And part of what you and I are gonna be working on 654 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:07,832 Is decision making 655 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:10,685 And we're gonna have to work on attachment to objects. 656 00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,504 Now that's gonna stir up some feelings for you 657 00:32:12,765 --> 00:32:15,641 And I don't want you to shy away from those feelings. 658 00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,935 That's part of overcoming the problem. 659 00:32:18,228 --> 00:32:21,813 So I'll be working with you on processing what's going on 660 00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:23,848 And really kind of taking a hard look 661 00:32:24,092 --> 00:32:25,684 At what you're doing, okay? 662 00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:28,186 So I'll be challenging you, gently of course, 663 00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:30,697 But I will be challenging you to think differently, 664 00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,215 To do things differently 665 00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:34,784 Because if we keep doing the same thing over and over again, 666 00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:36,845 You just end up with more of the problem. 667 00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:38,196 Make sense? 668 00:32:38,374 --> 00:32:40,198 - Absolutely. - Okay. 669 00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:42,391 So elesha, you live here too. 670 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:44,369 If we don't clean it up, what happens to you? 671 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,354 - Well, first of all, he'll lose the house. 672 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:47,205 - [david] yeah. 673 00:32:47,383 --> 00:32:49,799 - And where I'm concerned, 674 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:53,378 I kind of feel like I will lose my dad. 675 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:54,787 - You lose your dad? - Yeah. 676 00:32:54,932 --> 00:32:56,348 - How so? - 'cause I can't live here. 677 00:32:56,558 --> 00:32:57,549 I can't live here like this 678 00:32:57,768 --> 00:33:01,186 And I have made emotional pleas to him 679 00:33:01,397 --> 00:33:02,812 Over these last three years. 680 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:07,726 And I've been rebuffed and ignored and not heard 681 00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,695 And that's hurt me deeply. 682 00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:10,895 - I see. - But I can't be here anymore. 683 00:33:11,115 --> 00:33:14,249 I just can't for my own health and wellbeing, 684 00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:15,367 I can't. - Okay. 685 00:33:15,577 --> 00:33:16,994 So there's really a lot at stake here. 686 00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:18,245 - Yes, there is. 687 00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:22,207 - Okay, so we've got our work cut out for us. 688 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,000 Let me kick it back over to dorothy 689 00:33:24,086 --> 00:33:26,002 Because I wanna get a sense of kind of thinking 690 00:33:26,088 --> 00:33:28,814 Really pragmatically about what's your game plan? 691 00:33:28,966 --> 00:33:32,600 - Yeah. There is so much to do, not just on the inside, 692 00:33:32,636 --> 00:33:34,018 But on the outside, 693 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:37,389 Because that's where the crisis lies with the city. 694 00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:40,325 We do have a tactical plan in place. 695 00:33:40,436 --> 00:33:42,085 We're going to start this morning 696 00:33:42,312 --> 00:33:46,732 By dividing the outside property into four quadrants, right? 697 00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,533 So we're gonna do the front yard, 698 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:51,427 The two side yards and then the backyard, all right? 699 00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:53,822 And we're going to group like with like, 700 00:33:53,991 --> 00:33:55,440 Metal with metal, 701 00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:56,933 You know, tools with tools. 702 00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:59,961 We're going to group them into like categories. 703 00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:00,829 Okay, ready to go? 704 00:34:00,998 --> 00:34:03,381 - Let's go. - Let's do it. 705 00:34:03,459 --> 00:34:05,892 - Get at it. - All right. 706 00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,026 - All right everybody, 707 00:34:07,171 --> 00:34:08,953 We're going to put up the categories, 708 00:34:09,173 --> 00:34:11,055 We'll tape it to the house or something. 709 00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:13,316 Metal's gonna go over here and you're gonna see, 710 00:34:13,510 --> 00:34:18,113 We want all the tools and tool boxes to go to the backyard. 711 00:34:18,182 --> 00:34:20,056 So just start a pile, 712 00:34:20,142 --> 00:34:22,725 But make sure you communicate to everybody else. 713 00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,920 I have electronics, I have whatever, okay? 714 00:34:26,065 --> 00:34:27,105 So are you ready to go? 715 00:34:27,316 --> 00:34:29,440 - Yeah. - And just say dorothy 716 00:34:29,485 --> 00:34:30,566 When you have a question. 717 00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:33,153 (lively music) 718 00:34:34,031 --> 00:34:36,156 - [woman] is this metal? 719 00:34:37,326 --> 00:34:39,201 - [jim] it was a toolbox at one time. 720 00:34:43,373 --> 00:34:45,565 - [dorothy] clothes and bags to the backyard, 721 00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,958 All in one spot. 722 00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:49,811 That's gonna go with dollies and things like that. 723 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,379 So put it over that way. 724 00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:00,931 (intense music) 725 00:35:07,523 --> 00:35:08,522 - We wanna help. 726 00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:09,647 How can we help? - You wanna help? 727 00:35:09,691 --> 00:35:11,424 - Yeah. - Beautiful. 728 00:35:11,527 --> 00:35:12,901 Who else you, your? 729 00:35:13,112 --> 00:35:14,535 - [d] mommy, mommy, come on. 730 00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:15,678 - Come on in digna. 731 00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:16,780 Thanks d. 732 00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:20,342 Digna and d, what we're doing is clearing this side 733 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:21,493 Over here, - this side over here? 734 00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:22,994 - And we're starting to organize. 735 00:35:23,247 --> 00:35:25,697 So you could call one of us to take something away, 736 00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:28,708 But go ahead. - All right, give me five. 737 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:31,795 - Let's go, let's go. - All right. 738 00:35:36,718 --> 00:35:39,010 - [david] hey jim, it's getting real, isn't it? 739 00:35:39,221 --> 00:35:40,786 - It's really getting real. 740 00:35:40,973 --> 00:35:42,121 - So you know you've got a lot of people 741 00:35:42,224 --> 00:35:43,031 Handling your stuff. 742 00:35:43,100 --> 00:35:44,808 How are you feeling right now? 743 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:48,720 - Uneasy, although thankful, okay. 744 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:50,889 - So what feels uneasy about it? 745 00:35:51,108 --> 00:35:54,042 - Well, the uneasy part is the fact 746 00:35:54,111 --> 00:35:55,727 That I'm still kind of concerned 747 00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:57,637 About how it's all gonna wind up. 748 00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:58,638 - What do you mean? 749 00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:00,614 - Well you know. 750 00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:03,368 (jim laughs) 751 00:36:03,579 --> 00:36:04,827 - Oh, you're laughing again. 752 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:07,755 - Yeah, yeah well. - What's your concern, jim? 753 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,583 - Well, I'd like to think 754 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,668 That most of it was worth keeping, 755 00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:16,681 But obviously that ain't gonna work. 756 00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:17,573 - That's the old way 757 00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,067 Of thinking, isn't it? - Yup, 758 00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:20,251 That's the old way of thinking. - That all this is worth 759 00:36:20,470 --> 00:36:21,753 Keeping and we're gonna have to shift out of it. 760 00:36:21,972 --> 00:36:23,104 - Yeah, yeah, gotta get outta that gear. 761 00:36:23,265 --> 00:36:24,639 - Recognize that this stuff is in your way. 762 00:36:24,808 --> 00:36:25,765 It's not helping you. 763 00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:27,592 - Yeah. - Yeah. 764 00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:32,447 - This indeed is my first paint shaker experience. 765 00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:35,024 (jim laughing) 766 00:36:35,110 --> 00:36:37,009 - Ah darn, it was a much better condition 767 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:37,919 When I covered it up. 768 00:36:38,030 --> 00:36:39,112 - [dorothy] is this a keep? 769 00:36:40,157 --> 00:36:43,408 - Well, yeah, or it's a keep and sell. 770 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:46,152 - Okay, can it go? - No, I paid $500 for it. 771 00:36:46,205 --> 00:36:47,870 I hate to just throw it away, but-- 772 00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,872 - It is actually in the ground or is it? 773 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:52,133 - No, no, it's on a base. - Can we lift it? 774 00:36:52,294 --> 00:36:55,795 - [jim] it just hasn't been moved for quite a while. 775 00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:57,230 - It's in the ground, jim. 776 00:36:57,382 --> 00:37:00,074 - [jim] nah, here, let's see here. 777 00:37:00,076 --> 00:37:02,427 - [dorothy] oh, thank you. 778 00:37:02,671 --> 00:37:03,828 - [jim] kind of a big base. 779 00:37:04,056 --> 00:37:06,706 - [dorothy] it's a big base, thank you, all right. 780 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:08,800 - It's coming handy and of course 781 00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,468 When I was doing my roof coating, 782 00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:12,545 I was also doing some painting and you know, 783 00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,213 Put a couple of buckets of paint in there, 784 00:37:14,399 --> 00:37:17,008 Let it shake for five minutes, like new. 785 00:37:17,010 --> 00:37:18,718 - Isn't that great? - Yeah. 786 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:19,811 - Isn't that great? 787 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:21,162 You gonna do a lot of painting now 788 00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:22,280 Going forward in life? - Well yeah, yeah, yeah. 789 00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:24,741 You know, it sure beats stirring. 790 00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:27,560 - [dorothy] dr. Tolin. 791 00:37:27,704 --> 00:37:28,787 - This is one of those situations 792 00:37:28,997 --> 00:37:30,413 Where we have to think about the old way 793 00:37:30,499 --> 00:37:31,790 Of thinking of things versus the new way 794 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,416 Of thinking about things. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 795 00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:35,126 You know, I think the old way of thinking about things 796 00:37:35,379 --> 00:37:36,828 Is that you need to hang on to everything 797 00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:39,163 Because it might come in handy. 798 00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:41,499 - Yeah, that's, well what about 799 00:37:41,677 --> 00:37:42,801 Maybe I should try to sell it. 800 00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,352 How about that? - Yeah, I mean I think 801 00:37:44,513 --> 00:37:46,654 If there's some way of getting it outta your house 802 00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:47,839 And getting it off your property, 803 00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:49,557 I think that that makes sense. 804 00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:52,527 - Can we put it in the backyard and call it 805 00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:54,938 A sales pile? 806 00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,500 - We're gonna have a section whereby perhaps 807 00:37:58,610 --> 00:37:59,859 We can have someone come by, 808 00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:01,586 Look at it and give you a price 809 00:38:01,697 --> 00:38:02,837 On things. - That's a thought. 810 00:38:02,906 --> 00:38:04,022 - That would be great. 811 00:38:04,241 --> 00:38:05,023 It would be nice if we could get 'em out 812 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,024 While we're here, wouldn't it? 813 00:38:06,201 --> 00:38:07,525 - But that's the whole intention. 814 00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:09,928 - I gotcha, I gotcha. - You're right, you're right. 815 00:38:10,122 --> 00:38:12,547 - Yeah, I think we're gonna come across lots of things 816 00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:13,856 That are like this, jim, 817 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,867 That there are things that are gonna be useful, 818 00:38:16,044 --> 00:38:17,335 That you feel attached to 819 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:19,671 But the fact of the matter is it's all part of the barricade 820 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:23,558 That gets between you and the life that you really want. 821 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:24,634 - [jim] that's true. 822 00:38:35,105 --> 00:38:37,772 (intense music) 823 00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:46,698 - I feel like telling her why don't she get up 824 00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:49,025 And why don't she contribute 825 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,077 And coming over here and clean up. 826 00:38:53,582 --> 00:38:56,499 Elesha, why don't you come over here and contribute? 827 00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:58,710 Since you say that we don't help, 828 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,962 Why don't you come over here and help? 829 00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:05,633 Get off your ass and come over here and help 830 00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:12,724 (sad music) 831 00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:25,695 Elesha, come and help. 832 00:39:27,115 --> 00:39:28,789 - [jim] she's keeping larry company. 833 00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:31,033 - [d] she doesn't need to keep larry company. 834 00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,993 - [digna] jimmy, quit making excuses. 835 00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,704 - [d] come and help. 836 00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:37,307 - Right from the get go, 837 00:39:37,459 --> 00:39:39,191 D is being aggressive toward elesha. 838 00:39:39,378 --> 00:39:41,460 Now I know that elesha's got a bad back 839 00:39:41,546 --> 00:39:42,803 And that's why she's sitting down, 840 00:39:42,964 --> 00:39:45,924 But that appears very frustrating to d. 841 00:39:46,843 --> 00:39:47,883 So what's going on right now? 842 00:39:47,928 --> 00:39:49,235 - I'm frustrated with her. 843 00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:50,327 - [david] what's frustrating you? 844 00:39:50,514 --> 00:39:52,380 - She says that nobody's here to help her, 845 00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:53,956 That her father has her this way, 846 00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:56,134 That she's living in this mess, 847 00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:58,060 That she's never had any help, 848 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:01,072 That we've always done is done on the contrary 849 00:40:01,149 --> 00:40:02,882 And I told her we're here to help, 850 00:40:02,984 --> 00:40:04,776 We're here to help. 851 00:40:05,028 --> 00:40:07,995 Not one time have I seen her try to help, 852 00:40:08,031 --> 00:40:09,364 Help her father. 853 00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:12,175 There's plenty of times she could have come out here. 854 00:40:12,327 --> 00:40:14,402 She could have picked up some garbage, 855 00:40:14,604 --> 00:40:15,829 But look where she's at. 856 00:40:16,030 --> 00:40:17,655 Look where she's at. 857 00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:19,674 - [david] so tensions are really running high here. 858 00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:21,175 - Oh absolutely. - Okay. 859 00:40:21,253 --> 00:40:22,460 - Absolutely. - Okay. 860 00:40:22,671 --> 00:40:24,312 - And I'm ready, I'm ready. 861 00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:26,481 I'm not that type of person, but I'm ready. 862 00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:27,823 - [david] what are you ready for? 863 00:40:28,009 --> 00:40:30,009 - I'm ready if she's ready to get ugly with me, 864 00:40:30,053 --> 00:40:31,719 I'm ready to put her in her place. 865 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:34,639 - All right, so let's stand down on this 866 00:40:34,850 --> 00:40:36,933 Because I think that that ultimately 867 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:38,918 That's probably not gonna help the situation very much. 868 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:40,194 - No, it's not. - Yeah. 869 00:40:40,313 --> 00:40:41,587 For now, I'd love to see that get tabled 870 00:40:41,815 --> 00:40:44,399 So that we can just kind of keep focused on the task. 871 00:40:45,694 --> 00:40:48,936 We are all supposed to be working toward one common goal. 872 00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:51,339 The aim of this is not to have a bunch of drama 873 00:40:51,408 --> 00:40:52,523 And fight each other. 874 00:40:52,701 --> 00:40:54,542 The aim is to clean this house out 875 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,527 So that jim and elesha can save the house 876 00:40:56,746 --> 00:40:58,830 And be safe and healthy in their own home. 877 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:02,459 (intense music) 878 00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:06,220 - So if I can get all of you to come 879 00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:09,040 And just have a little conversation with me 880 00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:10,508 'cause I'm worried . 881 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,210 If we leave it like this 882 00:41:12,387 --> 00:41:14,362 Or anything remotely close to this... 883 00:41:14,514 --> 00:41:16,014 - Yeah, yeah, it's still gonna be a problem. 884 00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:18,883 - You are going to have another lien on your property 885 00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:21,703 And this project will have been for nothing. 886 00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:24,380 Let's start with one of the big questions. 887 00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:26,691 Just it's the hardest one, 888 00:41:26,902 --> 00:41:31,229 It's the number one thing on your list, tools. 889 00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:35,366 And if you look here, we have got an entire row 890 00:41:35,577 --> 00:41:39,387 Of like 100 boxes, bins, 891 00:41:39,456 --> 00:41:41,939 Tool boxes, all of tools. 892 00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:43,574 - Yeah. - I know you can't 893 00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:44,592 Use all the tools. 894 00:41:44,669 --> 00:41:47,228 - Oh I can, but will I? 895 00:41:47,339 --> 00:41:48,563 - That's the thing. - All right. 896 00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:50,931 So how do we make decisions here? 897 00:41:51,051 --> 00:41:52,767 I mean, just take a look and say, 898 00:41:52,928 --> 00:41:54,585 I'd like you to point to five that you'll keep 899 00:41:54,829 --> 00:41:56,103 And say bye-bye to the rest. 900 00:41:56,264 --> 00:41:57,588 - Well, I'd rather do it the other way. 901 00:41:57,766 --> 00:41:58,923 (jim laughs) 902 00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:01,584 Let me point it five that we need to get rid of. 903 00:42:01,770 --> 00:42:02,727 - Five isn't gonna do with though. 904 00:42:02,938 --> 00:42:04,595 - Well, that's a starting place. 905 00:42:04,773 --> 00:42:06,080 - Of course it is. 906 00:42:06,149 --> 00:42:07,248 Jim, - yeah? 907 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,116 - You can just point to anything out here. 908 00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,919 Go ahead point to anything 909 00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,238 And we'll take it away. 910 00:42:14,658 --> 00:42:16,074 - [jim] this thing, I guess I could give it back 911 00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:18,200 To the village or to the, what do you call it? 912 00:42:18,203 --> 00:42:19,802 The thrift store. 913 00:42:19,996 --> 00:42:22,113 - We're not gonna give this back to the thrift store. 914 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:23,297 They don't want stuff 915 00:42:23,458 --> 00:42:24,365 That's ruined. - They may not want it. 916 00:42:24,626 --> 00:42:26,901 Okay, it's trash. - Okay, that's gonna go. 917 00:42:26,962 --> 00:42:30,388 - Jim, let's give all this to the dumpster. 918 00:42:30,465 --> 00:42:31,256 - [jim] to the dumpster? 919 00:42:31,466 --> 00:42:32,807 The dumpster don't need it. 920 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:34,441 - All of this to the dumpster jim. 921 00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:36,294 Seriously, all of this to the dumpster. 922 00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:38,179 Let's just tell them, take it, okay? 923 00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:39,797 Jim, this is garbage. 924 00:42:39,975 --> 00:42:42,057 The lot of it is rotten, okay? 925 00:42:42,143 --> 00:42:44,543 You still have plenty here that we need to get rid of. 926 00:42:44,688 --> 00:42:46,271 So let's not look anymore. 927 00:42:46,481 --> 00:42:48,139 Come on, let's keep on moving. 928 00:42:48,275 --> 00:42:49,340 - [jim] wait, wait, wait. 929 00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:50,991 - Let me jump in here if you don't mind 930 00:42:51,111 --> 00:42:53,160 Because ultimately jim does have to learn 931 00:42:53,196 --> 00:42:54,511 How to make this decision 932 00:42:54,698 --> 00:42:56,130 So that the problem doesn't come back. 933 00:42:56,283 --> 00:42:58,833 But I think what d is saying makes a lot of sense, 934 00:42:58,994 --> 00:43:01,619 That a lot of this stuff seems to be waterlogged, 935 00:43:01,830 --> 00:43:03,746 Rotten, milddewy. - True. 936 00:43:03,832 --> 00:43:06,224 - And I'm wondering if you could just look at the pile 937 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:08,008 And say, yeah, I don't need that stuff. 938 00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:11,429 - Almost, this bag is too good to throw away. 939 00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:14,048 This is for my bicycles, 940 00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:15,349 But darn you know. 941 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:17,318 - [david] yeah, but have you used it recently? 942 00:43:17,387 --> 00:43:18,336 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 943 00:43:18,555 --> 00:43:21,422 We've been keeping the bicycles under it. 944 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,840 - It wasn't on no bicycle. 945 00:43:23,018 --> 00:43:24,008 It wasn't anything. 946 00:43:24,227 --> 00:43:28,087 It was on over a piece of rock over here. 947 00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:30,648 Okay, you don't even know where it was at. 948 00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:32,984 - [jim] well... 949 00:43:33,194 --> 00:43:34,902 - Come on jim, we gotta move. 950 00:43:35,864 --> 00:43:37,204 We gotta move, jim. 951 00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:39,023 - [david] so jim, what's your decision on this pile here? 952 00:43:39,284 --> 00:43:40,808 - [jim] well, I guess we're saying get rid of it. 953 00:43:40,810 --> 00:43:43,177 - Yes. - But jim, jim, 954 00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:44,395 I see you say let it go 955 00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:45,796 And then I see thinking through the pile. 956 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:46,881 - [digna] you're digging, 957 00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:48,165 You're picking. - You're digging, jim. 958 00:43:48,251 --> 00:43:49,876 - You're picking. - Come on, jim. 959 00:43:50,086 --> 00:43:52,036 - Well hell. - Come on. 960 00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:53,204 - That was a good bag. - Let's go. 961 00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:55,114 - It was but again remember jim, 962 00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:56,374 You don't need these things in your 963 00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:58,058 Life right now. - Yeah, you don't need that. 964 00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,194 - [jim] well, this ground cloth is brand new. 965 00:44:00,347 --> 00:44:02,930 - [david] it is, but you don't need it in your life. 966 00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:07,309 - The thing is I just took a quick count, 967 00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:09,487 There were 20 items here, okay? 968 00:44:09,606 --> 00:44:12,223 It took about five minutes to go through them. 969 00:44:12,484 --> 00:44:16,060 My count says you've got about 10,000 items back here 970 00:44:16,196 --> 00:44:17,712 To deal with. 971 00:44:17,864 --> 00:44:21,382 There's no way we can have that long of a discussion 972 00:44:21,493 --> 00:44:22,416 Over a pile. - Wait, wait, wait, 973 00:44:22,452 --> 00:44:23,326 That holster I need. 974 00:44:26,180 --> 00:44:27,913 - Hi, dr. Tolin. - Hi, dorothy. 975 00:44:27,957 --> 00:44:29,307 How are you? - It's so great 976 00:44:29,501 --> 00:44:31,392 To talk to you because nobody's listening to me over there. 977 00:44:31,461 --> 00:44:32,460 - I'll listen to you. 978 00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:35,062 - [jim] let's get rid of the wheelchair. 979 00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:36,914 - All right, good job. - Good job, okay, good job. 980 00:44:36,925 --> 00:44:39,250 - [jim] I guess it's sat around long enough. 981 00:44:39,252 --> 00:44:41,085 This box I do wanna keep. 982 00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:42,937 It has what do you call it? 983 00:44:42,939 --> 00:44:44,588 Sentimental value. 984 00:44:44,766 --> 00:44:46,090 - [dorothy] no, it's all rotted. 985 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:48,601 - [d] it's molded, it's all gross. 986 00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:51,362 - [dorothy] ugh, this is sentimental? 987 00:44:51,398 --> 00:44:53,097 - [jim] it was. 988 00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:54,598 - [dorothy] but look what's happened. 989 00:44:54,776 --> 00:44:57,359 - [jim] yeah, yeah, yeah, well... 990 00:44:57,487 --> 00:45:00,362 - [david] what do you think about this stuff, elesha? 991 00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:01,789 - [elesha] I think it's had its day. 992 00:45:01,908 --> 00:45:04,033 - I think it's had its day as well. 993 00:45:05,662 --> 00:45:07,352 Do you need to rifle through all of it? 994 00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:08,446 - [jim] no, no, no. 995 00:45:08,665 --> 00:45:09,780 - [david] no, you don't need to do that. 996 00:45:09,999 --> 00:45:11,265 - Put it back in there, jim. We don't need that. 997 00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:12,783 Just put it back there. - You don't need that, jimmy. 998 00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:13,918 - [jim] no, I need the box. 999 00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:15,853 - [digna] no, that box is not even working. 1000 00:45:15,964 --> 00:45:17,371 Look it's even broken, okay? 1001 00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:18,673 - It's not broken. - It is, jim. 1002 00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:21,484 Look at that, jimmy. - It's got four latches. 1003 00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:23,310 - No jim, it's no good. - No jim, get rid of it. 1004 00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:25,430 - This is a military box. - Look, it's got bugs 1005 00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:26,730 And everything. 1006 00:45:26,808 --> 00:45:28,282 - [jim] I buy it for 50 bucks 1007 00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:30,058 And then they just throw it away. 1008 00:45:30,145 --> 00:45:32,470 - Yeah, okay, so I hear what you're saying, jim. 1009 00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,046 Let's pause here for a second. 1010 00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:35,731 I hear what you're saying, 1011 00:45:35,817 --> 00:45:37,608 But I think it's important for us to recognize 1012 00:45:37,894 --> 00:45:39,218 That there are gonna be lots of things here 1013 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,978 That are potentially useful 1014 00:45:41,197 --> 00:45:43,055 And that you did pay good money for 1015 00:45:43,199 --> 00:45:45,132 And you gotta let 'em go anyway 1016 00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:47,301 Because it's in your way now. 1017 00:45:47,503 --> 00:45:48,427 Is that all right, jim? 1018 00:45:48,538 --> 00:45:49,870 Can it go? - Yup, it's going. 1019 00:45:49,998 --> 00:45:52,006 - [jim] well, I guess it's going if it's going. 1020 00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:53,458 - Thank you, jimmy. - Is that all with you? 1021 00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:55,643 - No, it's not all right with me, but you know. 1022 00:45:55,795 --> 00:45:56,744 - [david] well, do you want me to hold 'em? 1023 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,513 - Well, well... 1024 00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:00,756 - [digna] let's go, let's go over here. 1025 00:46:00,842 --> 00:46:02,908 What says jimmy, what about this? 1026 00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:03,926 - We gotta slow it down a little bit. 1027 00:46:04,095 --> 00:46:05,185 Jim, let me go, 1028 00:46:05,305 --> 00:46:06,587 Let me have you go back to this box 1029 00:46:06,639 --> 00:46:09,056 Before you go into this one. - Yep, yep, yep. 1030 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,476 - I want you to make the decision 1031 00:46:11,686 --> 00:46:14,328 And I appreciate digna and d your efforts here, 1032 00:46:14,481 --> 00:46:16,347 But ultimately jim's gotta make the decision. 1033 00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:17,331 Is it okay, jim? 1034 00:46:17,358 --> 00:46:18,775 Can it go? 1035 00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:21,519 - Well that one's too valuable. 1036 00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:24,655 - If we throw this away without your clear consent, 1037 00:46:24,783 --> 00:46:27,599 You're gonna feel really regretful and resentful later on 1038 00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:28,784 And I don't wanna 1039 00:46:28,870 --> 00:46:30,118 Start that process. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1040 00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:32,513 So I want to hear from you, yes, let it go. 1041 00:46:32,582 --> 00:46:34,698 I need space in my life. 1042 00:46:34,959 --> 00:46:37,835 I need comfort for myself and for my daughter. 1043 00:46:38,046 --> 00:46:39,670 - Yeah, comfort's nice too. 1044 00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:40,505 - [david] yeah? 1045 00:46:40,748 --> 00:46:41,805 I need to keep my house. 1046 00:46:41,925 --> 00:46:43,157 - Yeah if possible. - That's what's at 1047 00:46:43,159 --> 00:46:44,358 Stake here, right? 1048 00:46:44,511 --> 00:46:46,285 - Well, that's ultimately what we're talking 1049 00:46:46,429 --> 00:46:47,452 About I suppose. - It is 1050 00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:49,514 And isn't that more important than this box? 1051 00:46:51,893 --> 00:46:52,850 - Possibly. 1052 00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:53,884 - Possibly? - Yeah. 1053 00:46:54,062 --> 00:46:55,235 - Possibly? 1054 00:46:55,271 --> 00:46:56,403 Well, darn it. 1055 00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:57,772 - [digna] possibly? 1056 00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:01,058 - This is one of the problems that I've had 1057 00:47:01,236 --> 00:47:02,527 And that I've noticed with my dad 1058 00:47:02,779 --> 00:47:05,279 Is that he's choosing things over people. 1059 00:47:06,699 --> 00:47:07,731 Things over a relationship - it's not over people. 1060 00:47:07,951 --> 00:47:09,733 - With me and that needs to stop, dad. 1061 00:47:09,911 --> 00:47:11,560 Things aren't that important. 1062 00:47:11,663 --> 00:47:15,222 (intense music) 1063 00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:16,557 - Jim, - yeah? 1064 00:47:16,709 --> 00:47:18,225 - Are you listening to kind of what elesha's saying? 1065 00:47:18,294 --> 00:47:19,577 I mean she's basically saying, 1066 00:47:19,796 --> 00:47:22,112 She thinks you're choosing this stuff over her. 1067 00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:24,982 - Well, you know, I guess she can say that, 1068 00:47:25,051 --> 00:47:26,258 But that's not the truth. 1069 00:47:26,302 --> 00:47:30,329 But the truth is I want 'em both. 1070 00:47:30,557 --> 00:47:32,014 Should be able to understand - but this is the problem 1071 00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:32,723 - That I need-- - is you can't have 1072 00:47:32,892 --> 00:47:34,274 Them both, right? 1073 00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:36,601 You can't have all this stuff and keep your daughter safe. 1074 00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:39,564 - And yourself, dad. - And yourself safe. 1075 00:47:39,774 --> 00:47:40,773 - [elesha] this is your house, 1076 00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:41,941 This should be a place of comfort. 1077 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:44,118 - This is where you have a choice to make, 1078 00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:45,561 Do you want all the stuff 1079 00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:48,005 Or do you want you and your daughter to be safe? 1080 00:47:48,074 --> 00:47:50,741 (intense music) 1081 00:47:56,833 --> 00:48:00,476 - I woke up one day and said, 1082 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:02,795 "where all this stuff coming from?" 1083 00:48:04,064 --> 00:48:05,464 I am a hoarder. 1084 00:48:07,302 --> 00:48:09,543 - How can you live like this? 1085 00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:13,580 How, how can you not know it's not right? 1086 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:15,783 - If we don't clean it up, what happens to you? 1087 00:48:15,935 --> 00:48:17,618 - Well first of all, he'll lose the house. 1088 00:48:17,729 --> 00:48:18,852 - Yeah. - I kind of feel like 1089 00:48:18,855 --> 00:48:21,655 I will lose my dad. 1090 00:48:21,816 --> 00:48:25,233 - Elesha, why don't you come over here and contribute? 1091 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:28,487 Get off your ass and come over here and help. 1092 00:48:33,995 --> 00:48:35,986 - [dorothy] good morning to all of you. 1093 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:37,496 - Good morning. - Good morning, dorothy. 1094 00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:38,906 - Morning dorothy. - Good morning. 1095 00:48:39,167 --> 00:48:41,191 - Welcome back, we had quite a day yesterday, yes? 1096 00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:42,960 - Yes. - Oh yes. 1097 00:48:43,171 --> 00:48:45,012 Yesterday was a big challenge. 1098 00:48:45,173 --> 00:48:51,168 - And we wound up finishing about 15% of the outside. 1099 00:48:51,412 --> 00:48:53,087 We're here for four days. 1100 00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:55,747 If we go at that pace by day four, 1101 00:48:55,892 --> 00:48:59,601 We will only have completed 60% 1102 00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:01,871 Of the outside of the property. 1103 00:49:02,023 --> 00:49:04,331 That means-- - that means that inside 1104 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,424 Ain't gonna get done. 1105 00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:06,817 - That means the inside won't get done 1106 00:49:07,070 --> 00:49:10,321 And it means we won't even comply with the city-- 1107 00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:12,356 - We're not moving fast enough 1108 00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:14,374 And you're gonna be homeless. 1109 00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:15,959 We've got to move. 1110 00:49:16,037 --> 00:49:17,686 If it's important to you, 1111 00:49:17,872 --> 00:49:20,498 Then you've got to make those decisions. 1112 00:49:20,708 --> 00:49:21,999 - Let me hear from everybody here 1113 00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:24,868 And I'd be really curious to get your sense of yesterday 1114 00:49:25,046 --> 00:49:28,639 And I wanna know how well did we 1115 00:49:28,716 --> 00:49:31,342 Work as a team yesterday? 1116 00:49:32,220 --> 00:49:33,894 And by that, digna I mean you, 1117 00:49:33,930 --> 00:49:35,696 D I mean you, elesha, 1118 00:49:35,807 --> 00:49:37,715 How well did the team work together 1119 00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:39,875 Toward a common goal yesterday? 1120 00:49:40,061 --> 00:49:41,043 - Well, I've got no complaints. 1121 00:49:41,229 --> 00:49:43,795 Everybody really hung in there and were happy 1122 00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:48,392 And eager and energetic. 1123 00:49:48,569 --> 00:49:50,077 - We were trying to be happy. 1124 00:49:50,154 --> 00:49:52,412 We're energetic all right 1125 00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:55,140 And we were trying to push you to get going 1126 00:49:55,243 --> 00:49:57,735 Because we were limited. 1127 00:49:57,912 --> 00:49:59,870 We are concerned for you. 1128 00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:01,739 For you, jim. 1129 00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:04,341 So we are pushing and we are trying to get it 1130 00:50:04,419 --> 00:50:06,852 'cause we are on a time limit. 1131 00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:08,078 We're on a time limit. 1132 00:50:08,297 --> 00:50:10,080 - And the time is quickly disappearing. 1133 00:50:10,299 --> 00:50:13,901 - With all due respect, I have to say, 1134 00:50:14,012 --> 00:50:16,262 We were trying to be a team 1135 00:50:17,432 --> 00:50:20,766 And we have one person who's the key here 1136 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:26,346 And she absolutely is showing all the resistance. 1137 00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:27,931 - [david] who are you referring to there, d? 1138 00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:29,283 - To his daughter. 1139 00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:30,951 - Elesha? - Absolutely. 1140 00:50:31,112 --> 00:50:33,528 - I'm at a point now that they really do not need 1141 00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:34,613 To be here now. 1142 00:50:34,866 --> 00:50:35,773 This is not their concern. - Come on now, 1143 00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:37,024 They're the best cheerleader 1144 00:50:37,285 --> 00:50:38,192 We could possibly have. - You have got some nerve. 1145 00:50:38,194 --> 00:50:39,176 You have got some nerve, elesha. 1146 00:50:39,287 --> 00:50:41,203 - This man is my father. 1147 00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:42,020 You need to go. 1148 00:50:42,123 --> 00:50:43,030 - You need to go. 1149 00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:45,332 (people talking together) 1150 00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,418 - [david] hang on, let me, let me call a time out here. 1151 00:50:47,628 --> 00:50:49,336 Elesha, stay with us if you will. 1152 00:50:49,547 --> 00:50:50,862 - You've got some audacity. 1153 00:50:51,049 --> 00:50:53,048 - We need to stifle this conflict. 1154 00:50:53,134 --> 00:50:54,474 - Oh it needs to be. - Now I'm not gonna be able 1155 00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:57,862 To fix this in the amount of time that we have, 1156 00:50:58,056 --> 00:51:00,714 But I need us to recognize that we're all here for one goal 1157 00:51:00,975 --> 00:51:04,101 And that is to get jim's house clean and healthy 1158 00:51:04,312 --> 00:51:05,877 And comfortable and safe, right? 1159 00:51:06,022 --> 00:51:07,729 - Absolutely. - Absolutely. 1160 00:51:07,815 --> 00:51:09,489 - And if we're gonna be infighting, 1161 00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:11,233 We're not gonna get there. 1162 00:51:11,319 --> 00:51:13,444 So we really need to put a damper on this 1163 00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:15,495 And we need to have a cease fire. 1164 00:51:15,656 --> 00:51:17,281 - This morning, I come in to say good morning 1165 00:51:17,492 --> 00:51:20,951 To everybody here because we are all here. 1166 00:51:21,195 --> 00:51:22,144 I say, good morning to this 1167 00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:24,054 And she says, don't even go there. 1168 00:51:24,165 --> 00:51:25,222 What is this? - I said to not 1169 00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:26,773 Even bother. - This is a ritual. 1170 00:51:27,001 --> 00:51:28,017 This is a ritual, jimmy. - Given our relationship 1171 00:51:28,169 --> 00:51:29,418 - Put your hands down. - And the conflicts, 1172 00:51:29,670 --> 00:51:31,194 Your presence here even right now, 1173 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:32,496 Given the things that - you're present. 1174 00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:33,938 - Have happened, - don't tell me. 1175 00:51:33,940 --> 00:51:35,482 - This is my family. - You lack respect. 1176 00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:36,867 - You are not welcome here. - If it's your family, you 1177 00:51:37,095 --> 00:51:38,194 Should have took initiative. - You should have 1178 00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:39,411 Done something. - Okay, guys. 1179 00:51:39,597 --> 00:51:40,838 Guys, guys. - You are not welcome here. 1180 00:51:41,015 --> 00:51:42,264 You are not welcome here. 1181 00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:44,249 - We're not gonna yell our way out of this problem. 1182 00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:45,600 There's no way that you're - you should have 1183 00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:46,768 - Gonna get over this. - Taken initiative. 1184 00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:47,912 - [d] it's not making it worse, jim. 1185 00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,064 - Okay. - Even your appearance, 1186 00:51:50,233 --> 00:51:51,923 She lives here with you. - D, 1187 00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:54,201 D, stand down. 1188 00:51:54,237 --> 00:51:55,319 You're over the top. 1189 00:51:55,530 --> 00:51:56,903 This needs to come down a little bit. 1190 00:51:56,948 --> 00:51:58,589 Digna, stand down. 1191 00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:00,157 This is over the top. 1192 00:52:00,368 --> 00:52:01,792 We can't be infighting like this 1193 00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:04,428 If we're gonna get any progress done. 1194 00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:05,696 D, you still with me? 1195 00:52:05,915 --> 00:52:09,166 I see that you've physically turned away from me. 1196 00:52:09,377 --> 00:52:10,859 - Bring it back. - Body language is 1197 00:52:11,045 --> 00:52:12,670 Pretty last and clear there, d. 1198 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,406 Can you stay in and be part of the group? 1199 00:52:16,467 --> 00:52:18,801 Can I get you to bring that down a little bit d 1200 00:52:19,053 --> 00:52:20,970 So that we can work together as a team? 1201 00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:24,640 - I'm done and actually, I really wanna go. 1202 00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:28,793 - This group meeting has obviously ground to a halt. 1203 00:52:28,980 --> 00:52:31,689 So I need to go and talk with elesha 1204 00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,816 And find out what's going on with her. 1205 00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,902 Hey, elesha, how you doing? 1206 00:52:39,115 --> 00:52:41,991 - I'm very, to be quite honest, I'm very upset. 1207 00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:45,602 - Yeah, that was quite a show back there. 1208 00:52:45,604 --> 00:52:46,661 - Yes, it was. 1209 00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:48,163 They have a history of doing this, 1210 00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:49,748 Where they control the conversation, 1211 00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:53,668 Where they micromanage every little thing. 1212 00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,153 Like they have the right to be here. 1213 00:52:55,256 --> 00:52:56,146 - [david] yeah. 1214 00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:57,414 - I cannot stand bullies. 1215 00:52:57,592 --> 00:52:59,416 - Yeah. - Absolutely, 1216 00:52:59,594 --> 00:53:00,934 I cannot stand bullies. 1217 00:53:01,095 --> 00:53:03,245 - I think it's important for you to find your voice here, 1218 00:53:03,431 --> 00:53:04,996 To be able to stand up for yourself. 1219 00:53:05,183 --> 00:53:07,157 I mean, obviously I want d and digna 1220 00:53:07,268 --> 00:53:08,333 To stop just picking on you 1221 00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:09,760 And I want them to just leave you alone, 1222 00:53:10,021 --> 00:53:12,337 But it's important for you to find your voice there, 1223 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:14,114 But also to find your voice with your dad, 1224 00:53:14,275 --> 00:53:17,351 To lay down the law and say, this is what I require, dad. 1225 00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:19,937 This is what you, this is what I need you to do 1226 00:53:20,114 --> 00:53:21,422 And let him hear it. - Right. 1227 00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,864 They are unrelenting. 1228 00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:24,516 - Yeah, I've noticed there's sort of a badgering. 1229 00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:26,885 - I'm like and I've encouraged my dad to 1230 00:53:26,887 --> 00:53:29,354 Ask for a minute to breathe. - Hi jim. 1231 00:53:29,457 --> 00:53:30,538 - Yeah. 1232 00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:33,191 - In the middle of all that happening then 1233 00:53:33,294 --> 00:53:35,377 Yesterday and today. 1234 00:53:36,547 --> 00:53:39,757 To ask for a moment of relief from that 1235 00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:42,885 Because you haven't been willing to do it for me 1236 00:53:43,095 --> 00:53:45,203 And they have attacked me. 1237 00:53:45,348 --> 00:53:46,830 - Yeah. - They haven't attacked you. 1238 00:53:46,974 --> 00:53:47,906 They just-- - yes they have. 1239 00:53:47,908 --> 00:53:49,291 - They really have. 1240 00:53:49,477 --> 00:53:50,634 They're really going after elesha. 1241 00:53:50,895 --> 00:53:53,437 - Well yeah, they do disagree that's for sure. 1242 00:53:59,070 --> 00:54:00,169 I'm thinking, you know, 1243 00:54:00,321 --> 00:54:04,556 Since we've got plenty of able bodied help, 1244 00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:06,951 You know, maybe you better deck out 1245 00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:09,169 Because we don't want - really? 1246 00:54:09,205 --> 00:54:10,412 - Any more friction. 1247 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:11,622 - [d] wow. 1248 00:54:11,865 --> 00:54:12,923 - Well-- - on the contrary, 1249 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,399 We've always done good for you. 1250 00:54:14,669 --> 00:54:16,751 - Yes, you've been very good for me and I do appreciate it, 1251 00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,428 But, yes I do. - No, you don't. 1252 00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:19,754 - No, you do not. - No you don't because 1253 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:20,798 You're telling us to leave. - No you do not. 1254 00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:22,132 Look how you're standing right here 1255 00:54:22,343 --> 00:54:24,510 And telling us to deck out. 1256 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:26,586 - Well that sounds-- - I would never say 1257 00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:28,021 Such a thing like that. 1258 00:54:28,182 --> 00:54:31,049 I will take a stand as a father and tell my daughter, 1259 00:54:31,051 --> 00:54:32,083 You need to back off. 1260 00:54:32,270 --> 00:54:34,520 - I guess I'll have to take it up a notch. 1261 00:54:34,772 --> 00:54:38,423 That is my daughter's got to stay 1262 00:54:38,526 --> 00:54:40,450 And you've got to go. 1263 00:54:40,528 --> 00:54:41,843 - I don't want you in my life. 1264 00:54:42,029 --> 00:54:43,487 You are ungrateful. - You need to leave. 1265 00:54:43,698 --> 00:54:45,071 You need to leave right now. 1266 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,491 (elesha and digna yell) - get out of our face. 1267 00:54:47,702 --> 00:54:50,494 I've had enough. - Get out of our face. 1268 00:54:50,705 --> 00:54:51,953 - [digna] get outta my face. 1269 00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:55,616 - Okay digna, it's you who's in elesha's face. 1270 00:54:55,626 --> 00:54:57,442 Jim and elesha, why don't we head 1271 00:54:57,628 --> 00:54:58,752 For the backyard, all right? - Okay 1272 00:54:58,921 --> 00:55:00,887 And thank you for all you did. 1273 00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:02,214 - [digna] shut up, jimmy. 1274 00:55:15,062 --> 00:55:17,413 - [elesha] seeing my dad support me in that confrontation 1275 00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:18,822 With digna and d. 1276 00:55:18,941 --> 00:55:22,467 - My daughter's got to stay and you've got to go. 1277 00:55:22,611 --> 00:55:24,578 - [digna] I don't want you in my life. 1278 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,404 - That meant a lot to me. 1279 00:55:26,407 --> 00:55:27,238 That meant a lot to me 1280 00:55:27,283 --> 00:55:29,474 And it kind of helps me refocus 1281 00:55:29,618 --> 00:55:31,935 And zero in on what's really important 1282 00:55:31,996 --> 00:55:34,330 And that's just clean up and getting this done. 1283 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:50,103 - The best idea that I have right now, 1284 00:55:50,181 --> 00:55:51,830 It's changed several times, 1285 00:55:51,974 --> 00:55:54,599 But is to clear this area back here. 1286 00:55:54,727 --> 00:55:58,261 Get the big items out and onto the truck where we can, 1287 00:55:58,439 --> 00:55:59,763 Onto the dumpster. 1288 00:55:59,774 --> 00:56:02,148 But we wanna stack some of the things 1289 00:56:02,193 --> 00:56:03,934 That you're going to keep. 1290 00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:05,952 Will that work for you? 1291 00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:09,956 - Well, I guess I should say it will have to work for me. 1292 00:56:10,034 --> 00:56:11,366 - So what we'd like to do 1293 00:56:11,452 --> 00:56:15,871 Is have you point at large items that can go. 1294 00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:19,199 Jim, what about this piece right here? 1295 00:56:19,418 --> 00:56:21,960 - [jim] oh, well that's my carport. 1296 00:56:22,171 --> 00:56:25,255 - But the carport stuff is over there. 1297 00:56:25,257 --> 00:56:27,132 - Well that's the other carport. 1298 00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:28,716 - Am I allowed to confront you? 1299 00:56:28,803 --> 00:56:29,960 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Can I confront you? 1300 00:56:30,221 --> 00:56:32,053 - Sure, sure, sure. - In not in a mean way, right? 1301 00:56:32,139 --> 00:56:34,314 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But we were supposed 1302 00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:37,283 To be in and on your house this morning. 1303 00:56:37,285 --> 00:56:39,469 - Yeah, yeah, yeah and we almost made it. 1304 00:56:39,647 --> 00:56:41,062 - We're nowhere near it, jim. 1305 00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:43,398 - [jim] well, I'd like to think we almost made it. 1306 00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:44,391 - [dorothy] no, we're nowhere near it. 1307 00:56:44,527 --> 00:56:46,509 - Yeah. - Can you pick one 1308 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:49,345 Of the carports to keep so that we can, 1309 00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:51,256 We have to eliminate stuff here. 1310 00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:52,666 I can't keep it all. 1311 00:56:52,827 --> 00:56:56,503 - I traded a $5,000 trailer for that aluminum carport 1312 00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,147 And this one I paid 500 for. 1313 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,907 I don't really wanna-- - yeah jim, I'm gonna say 1314 00:57:01,001 --> 00:57:03,994 That basically you're probably going to be giving away 1315 00:57:04,213 --> 00:57:05,512 Or throwing away - a lot of stuff, yeah. 1316 00:57:05,548 --> 00:57:07,347 - At least $100,000. 1317 00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:08,573 - Looks that way. - And you need to just 1318 00:57:08,676 --> 00:57:09,833 Come to terms with it. 1319 00:57:10,010 --> 00:57:11,075 - Gotta come to terms for it. 1320 00:57:11,262 --> 00:57:13,928 - You spent it, it's ruined in many cases. 1321 00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:17,266 So pick and choose stuff you want right now. 1322 00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:21,728 - Well then let's get rid of the $500 carport 1323 00:57:21,814 --> 00:57:23,647 And let me keep my $5,000 carport 1324 00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:26,232 And I'll hope like hell I can put the thing up. 1325 00:57:26,277 --> 00:57:27,851 - All right, thank you. 1326 00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:29,019 This is plastic? - Yeah, yeah. 1327 00:57:29,238 --> 00:57:30,921 Those that's just, what do you call it? 1328 00:57:31,031 --> 00:57:31,855 Vinyl siding. - All right, so that's 1329 00:57:32,032 --> 00:57:33,799 Not metal, can we send it out? 1330 00:57:33,909 --> 00:57:35,117 - [jim] well, I guess we might as well 1331 00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:38,786 Because I was saving it to put on the carport 1332 00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:39,938 Or the vinyl carport. - Ding, ding, ding, ding, 1333 00:57:40,124 --> 00:57:42,015 Ding, ding, can we get a round of applause? 1334 00:57:42,084 --> 00:57:43,667 We're getting some headway here. 1335 00:57:43,878 --> 00:57:45,944 This is good, this is good. 1336 00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:48,438 So tell me what's going on under here. 1337 00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:51,175 (intense music) 1338 00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:53,543 - It's a metal cabinet 1339 00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:56,805 That is not as well protected as I thought it was. 1340 00:57:57,725 --> 00:57:59,641 But I still wanna keep it 1341 00:57:59,727 --> 00:58:01,218 Because I wanna put it under the car port 1342 00:58:01,395 --> 00:58:02,602 When I get the car port up. 1343 00:58:02,688 --> 00:58:04,354 - What I wanna do is discourage you 1344 00:58:04,607 --> 00:58:08,800 From having more things to put under the carport to store 1345 00:58:08,944 --> 00:58:10,234 Because-- - okay, get it out of here. 1346 00:58:10,237 --> 00:58:11,478 - Thank you so much. 1347 00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:15,348 (everyone applauds) 1348 00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:18,493 Larry, how do you think jim is doing today? 1349 00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:20,603 I mean, this is a new behavior. 1350 00:58:20,748 --> 00:58:21,847 - [larry] definitely new. 1351 00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:23,940 - Definitely new, you've not seen this 1352 00:58:23,942 --> 00:58:25,008 From him before, right? 1353 00:58:25,169 --> 00:58:26,826 - I have not seen this amount of willingness 1354 00:58:26,962 --> 00:58:29,046 To change from him. 1355 00:58:29,298 --> 00:58:32,766 - How are you feeling about your dad's performance here? 1356 00:58:32,927 --> 00:58:35,052 - I can see him struggling a little bit to be quite honest, 1357 00:58:35,304 --> 00:58:37,270 But he's making progress. - I'm struggling a lot. 1358 00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:38,997 - [elesha] he's making steps and that's, 1359 00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:40,415 That's an important part of the process 1360 00:58:40,601 --> 00:58:43,018 Is at least those steps in that right direction. 1361 00:58:43,896 --> 00:58:45,837 - Okay, okay. 1362 00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,231 - [elesha] I'm impressed with that. 1363 00:58:47,483 --> 00:58:51,527 - Oh well, you know, gotta give and you gotta take. 1364 00:58:52,988 --> 00:58:54,838 - Jim, you're-- - and like you said, 1365 00:58:55,032 --> 00:58:57,574 Yeah, I'm gonna be out $100,000 by the time this is out, 1366 00:58:57,743 --> 00:58:59,459 But hey, it's only money. 1367 00:58:59,537 --> 00:59:00,927 - It's not just back here, 1368 00:59:00,996 --> 00:59:02,663 It's gonna be what's inside too. 1369 00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:04,522 - Oh god, that's another $100,000. 1370 00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:05,999 Okay, well-- - I mean you are, okay, 1371 00:59:06,210 --> 00:59:08,042 So let's just call it what it is, 1372 00:59:08,087 --> 00:59:09,044 Quarter of a million bucks 1373 00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:10,987 Gone. - Quarter of a million, yeah. 1374 00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,806 That would've been a nice ira. 1375 00:59:12,967 --> 00:59:14,424 How come I didn't keep that damn money? 1376 00:59:14,635 --> 00:59:17,310 - We all ask ourselves that. 1377 00:59:17,388 --> 00:59:18,970 Like, what was I thinking? 1378 00:59:18,973 --> 00:59:20,538 You know and some of it, 1379 00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:23,800 Some of it was that old resentment 1380 00:59:23,978 --> 00:59:25,635 And resistant to the city. 1381 00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:26,953 - [jim] yeah, that's true. 1382 00:59:27,147 --> 00:59:28,713 - Like you almost built up more than you needed 1383 00:59:28,816 --> 00:59:30,798 To prove them, right? 1384 00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:31,925 So let's fix it. 1385 00:59:31,927 --> 00:59:33,384 The money's been spent, 1386 00:59:33,571 --> 00:59:35,796 Let's not have your house taken away too. 1387 00:59:35,906 --> 00:59:37,814 Okay, all right. - All right, amen. 1388 00:59:37,992 --> 00:59:41,076 (calm intense music) 1389 00:59:46,584 --> 00:59:49,175 - Since there's a ton of metal in the backyard, 1390 00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:53,480 We set someone up who can come in and make an offer to jim 1391 00:59:53,674 --> 00:59:57,000 To see about taking that sheet metal and some new tools. 1392 00:59:57,761 --> 01:00:00,095 And as it turns out, jim actually knows the guy. 1393 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:05,516 Hey jim, I've got bailey here. 1394 01:00:05,561 --> 01:00:06,943 - [bailey] hey jim, what's up, man? 1395 01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:08,345 I see you across the street all the time, man. 1396 01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:09,763 - [jim] long time, no see. 1397 01:00:10,024 --> 01:00:13,124 - Honest man, handyman, that's his business, 1398 01:00:13,126 --> 01:00:14,217 You know each other? 1399 01:00:14,361 --> 01:00:16,369 - All right man, so you know, 1400 01:00:16,530 --> 01:00:19,113 Most of your tools are automotive tools and stuff. 1401 01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:20,173 - Yeah. - Well you only need 1402 01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:21,158 So many of those, right? 1403 01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:22,843 - True, true. - Yeah, so I picked out, 1404 01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:25,895 You know, the gold of the pile 1405 01:00:26,081 --> 01:00:29,349 And I hope we can come to a, a deal with this. 1406 01:00:29,460 --> 01:00:32,385 So what I was thinking was, 1407 01:00:32,463 --> 01:00:34,046 Could you do 50 for that? 1408 01:00:35,215 --> 01:00:37,466 - [jim] I got 150 in it, how about 75? 1409 01:00:38,510 --> 01:00:40,968 - All right, 75. - And, a. 1410 01:00:41,013 --> 01:00:43,155 What about the tool chest? 1411 01:00:43,307 --> 01:00:45,298 - Is 150 completely out of the question? 1412 01:00:45,476 --> 01:00:47,476 - Oh yeah, man, do 100. 1413 01:00:49,813 --> 01:00:51,021 - [jim] well... 1414 01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:52,539 - I know it costs you more, 1415 01:00:52,733 --> 01:00:54,708 But then it's gonna select some dust sitting around here. 1416 01:00:54,777 --> 01:00:56,376 - [dorothy] it already has dust. 1417 01:00:56,487 --> 01:00:57,361 Let's be honest. - Well of course, 1418 01:00:57,571 --> 01:01:00,197 But everything's got dust on it. - Okay. 1419 01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:02,132 All right how about one and a quarter? 1420 01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,467 - 125? 1421 01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:04,701 All right, 125. 1422 01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:07,245 $25 for the rest of it. 1423 01:01:07,247 --> 01:01:08,238 Yeah, 225 man. 1424 01:01:08,415 --> 01:01:09,339 Come on, shake on it. - Okay, 1425 01:01:09,416 --> 01:01:10,307 Let's go. - Call it a day. 1426 01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:11,708 Ah, there we go, man, whoo. 1427 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,652 - [dorothy] hey good, now tell me what the story is 1428 01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:15,486 On the metal. 1429 01:01:15,589 --> 01:01:16,654 - Alrighty brother. 1430 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,882 So it would actually cost me money 1431 01:01:19,093 --> 01:01:20,675 To take all this stuff away. 1432 01:01:20,678 --> 01:01:21,385 (jim laughing) 1433 01:01:21,553 --> 01:01:22,552 I know it sounds crazy, 1434 01:01:22,763 --> 01:01:24,221 But it's between labor and stuff 1435 01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:26,256 And you know how aluminum and steel 1436 01:01:26,433 --> 01:01:27,741 Ain't worth nothing now more? 1437 01:01:27,810 --> 01:01:28,942 So-- - well the price 1438 01:01:29,061 --> 01:01:30,501 Has fluctuated. - Let him finish. 1439 01:01:30,746 --> 01:01:32,603 - Anyways, but as your dear neighbor, 1440 01:01:32,690 --> 01:01:34,438 I'll take it off your hands for free. 1441 01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:36,066 How about that boss man? 1442 01:01:36,276 --> 01:01:37,300 - You'll just haul it away? 1443 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:38,943 - [bailey] yes, sir. 1444 01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:42,180 - Well, when can you get around at it 1445 01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:43,698 Do you think? 1446 01:01:43,826 --> 01:01:44,941 - [bailey] oh right when we finish this conversation, man. 1447 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,219 - Well, that's a little quick, isn't it? 1448 01:01:47,287 --> 01:01:49,295 - That's why we're here. 1449 01:01:49,456 --> 01:01:51,765 Jim, we're supposed to be in your house right now. 1450 01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:53,524 - Yeah, that's true. - We're still out here, babe. 1451 01:01:53,669 --> 01:01:54,918 You know that. - Okay, yeah. 1452 01:01:55,129 --> 01:01:57,361 - Elesha, help me out here. 1453 01:01:57,464 --> 01:01:58,713 What have you got to, 1454 01:01:58,799 --> 01:02:00,807 What coaching can you give your dad? 1455 01:02:00,968 --> 01:02:02,792 - This stuff is going to a good place, dad. 1456 01:02:02,970 --> 01:02:04,294 It's gonna be used. 1457 01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:05,720 - Yeah, let's see what happens. 1458 01:02:05,806 --> 01:02:08,147 All right, so. - It's good to 1459 01:02:08,183 --> 01:02:09,724 Learn how to let go. 1460 01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:11,268 - When I need a new wrench, I'll come 1461 01:02:11,562 --> 01:02:13,720 And borrow it from you then. - Hey man, how about that? 1462 01:02:13,981 --> 01:02:15,479 All right man, you ever need to use something, 1463 01:02:15,566 --> 01:02:17,215 Just come across the street and holler at me. 1464 01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:19,793 - All right, we have a ton of people here 1465 01:02:19,862 --> 01:02:21,144 Who can help you with 1466 01:02:21,405 --> 01:02:23,113 This, all right? - Okay, that'd be great, yeah. 1467 01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:25,949 (intense music) 1468 01:02:27,119 --> 01:02:29,786 (metal clanks) 1469 01:02:31,206 --> 01:02:33,414 - What's interesting for me is that jim was joking around 1470 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,749 A lot less today. 1471 01:02:34,835 --> 01:02:37,477 He was a little bit easier to communicate with 1472 01:02:37,588 --> 01:02:39,737 And more willing to make decisions. 1473 01:02:39,965 --> 01:02:43,674 However, we're gonna push and push until it gets dark 1474 01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,469 To make sure we get that backyard done. 1475 01:02:45,721 --> 01:02:50,156 And I will say 75% of that yard should be available 1476 01:02:50,225 --> 01:02:52,017 By the time we're done today. 1477 01:02:53,187 --> 01:02:55,812 Hopefully tomorrow we can get into the house. 1478 01:03:19,213 --> 01:03:22,613 Yesterday, jim allowed me and my team 1479 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,383 To completely have control of the backyard. 1480 01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,561 We made the most of it. 1481 01:03:28,722 --> 01:03:31,898 We filled two dumpsters with a third one on the way. 1482 01:03:32,059 --> 01:03:35,936 That's pretty good, but we still have more to do back there. 1483 01:03:39,483 --> 01:03:40,798 Good morning, good morning to you, 1484 01:03:40,984 --> 01:03:44,027 Family, doctor, team members, good morning. 1485 01:03:44,238 --> 01:03:47,063 - Good morning, - good morning, dorothy. 1486 01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:50,066 - That's a hearty good morning and I'm glad about it. 1487 01:03:50,244 --> 01:03:52,369 Today, we have so much to do. 1488 01:03:52,579 --> 01:03:55,238 We need to get the yard into compliance 1489 01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:59,984 And the entire house is still waiting for us. 1490 01:04:00,128 --> 01:04:02,820 So we have got a superior team, 1491 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:04,247 A doctor who's ready to catch you, 1492 01:04:04,466 --> 01:04:05,915 But we are going to push you harder 1493 01:04:06,093 --> 01:04:07,400 Than we ever have before. 1494 01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:10,587 - You know yesterday was a day that I can only describe 1495 01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:12,764 As emotionally exhausting. 1496 01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:16,442 There were a lot of interpersonal 1497 01:04:16,478 --> 01:04:17,577 Fireworks yesterday. 1498 01:04:17,688 --> 01:04:19,437 Any regrets about that, jim? 1499 01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:24,025 - Most unfortunate and I haven't heard back 1500 01:04:24,027 --> 01:04:25,192 From them at all. 1501 01:04:25,279 --> 01:04:28,846 And I suppose that I have been marked off 1502 01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:30,115 Of their human list. 1503 01:04:31,493 --> 01:04:33,243 - [dorothy] you're talking about digna and d right? 1504 01:04:33,495 --> 01:04:36,520 - Yeah, digna and d. - They sounded pretty final 1505 01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:38,189 In their exit, yeah. 1506 01:04:38,333 --> 01:04:39,616 - They are a little overbearing 1507 01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,376 And a little feisty and fiery. 1508 01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:45,196 - I would call 'em beyond feisty and fiery, right? 1509 01:04:45,299 --> 01:04:46,623 - That's an understatement. 1510 01:04:46,884 --> 01:04:49,467 - I think their behavior yesterday was nasty and vicious. 1511 01:04:49,553 --> 01:04:50,543 - [jim] yeah, yeah, combative, yeah. 1512 01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:52,378 - Yeah, it was combative. 1513 01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:54,447 - My daughter's got to stay 1514 01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:56,349 And you've got to go. 1515 01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:57,959 - I don't want you my life. 1516 01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:00,153 - You need to leave. - You are ungrateful. 1517 01:05:00,188 --> 01:05:01,396 - You need to leave right now. 1518 01:05:02,316 --> 01:05:04,006 Get out of my face. 1519 01:05:04,008 --> 01:05:06,526 Get out of my face! 1520 01:05:08,030 --> 01:05:09,328 - You asked them to leave. 1521 01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:10,447 Any regrets about that? 1522 01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:12,073 - Yeah, I hated to have to do that, 1523 01:05:12,159 --> 01:05:15,918 But you know, we've got to have organization. 1524 01:05:15,996 --> 01:05:18,304 I can't throw my daughter out. 1525 01:05:18,332 --> 01:05:19,747 - Okay, all right. 1526 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:21,090 Just wanted make sure you're still feeling okay 1527 01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,292 About the process, jim. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1528 01:05:22,502 --> 01:05:24,343 It's it's all progressing - yeah. 1529 01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:25,629 - In a reasonable fashion 1530 01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:26,879 And that's what counts. - Fair enough. 1531 01:05:26,882 --> 01:05:28,289 Okay, very good. 1532 01:05:28,342 --> 01:05:31,317 - Okay team, are you ready with a resounding yes? 1533 01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:32,593 - [everyone] yes. 1534 01:05:32,679 --> 01:05:34,929 - So let's break out and get to our tarps 1535 01:05:35,057 --> 01:05:37,933 And everybody start heading in that is supposed to go in. 1536 01:05:39,102 --> 01:05:41,853 (intense music) 1537 01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:04,084 - Another box. - Bins coming out. 1538 01:06:05,545 --> 01:06:08,129 - [jim] "inner strength", I'd like to keep that one. 1539 01:06:20,176 --> 01:06:21,384 - [david] hey jim, how you doing? 1540 01:06:21,645 --> 01:06:25,054 Hey elesha, how's the process going so far? 1541 01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:27,023 - I guess it's going the way you would expect. 1542 01:06:27,317 --> 01:06:33,988 Although I was hoping it would be a little less painful. 1543 01:06:34,408 --> 01:06:36,490 - Tell me about the pain that you're experiencing, jim. 1544 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:37,900 - Well, you know, 1545 01:06:38,078 --> 01:06:39,569 It's every time I look at a book 1546 01:06:39,830 --> 01:06:43,506 And I see something that I felt in an attachment too 1547 01:06:43,583 --> 01:06:46,167 When I got the darn book and so. 1548 01:06:46,253 --> 01:06:47,711 - I guess one way to think about it, jim, 1549 01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:49,670 Is you could sort of ask yourself, 1550 01:06:49,798 --> 01:06:52,265 Well, what would really happen if I didn't have this book? 1551 01:06:52,426 --> 01:06:53,924 - Yeah, yeah, you're right, - you know, would my life 1552 01:06:53,969 --> 01:06:54,851 Be worse off? - You're right, 1553 01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:56,443 Nothing's really gonna change. 1554 01:06:56,445 --> 01:06:57,603 That's true, that's true. - Nothing's really gonna 1555 01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:58,662 Change without it, right? 1556 01:06:58,807 --> 01:07:00,014 - And if I haven't read it yet, 1557 01:07:00,100 --> 01:07:02,374 That's a pretty good example of the fact 1558 01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,927 That perhaps I didn't really need it anyway. 1559 01:07:05,105 --> 01:07:06,837 - I think you're exactly right, jim. 1560 01:07:07,024 --> 01:07:08,064 I think that makes a lot of sense. 1561 01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:10,208 How do you feel like elesha is doing, jim? 1562 01:07:10,277 --> 01:07:11,592 - [jim] so far pretty good. 1563 01:07:11,820 --> 01:07:14,845 I've seen her throw away a few things that I cringe about, 1564 01:07:14,990 --> 01:07:16,347 But you know that's again, 1565 01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:18,241 We're saying I can do some cringing. 1566 01:07:18,493 --> 01:07:19,942 - Do you think elesha knows that you think 1567 01:07:20,120 --> 01:07:21,594 She's doing a good job? 1568 01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:24,039 (sad music) 1569 01:07:25,459 --> 01:07:28,835 - I don't know if I've conveyed it to her well enough. 1570 01:07:30,005 --> 01:07:32,121 - Well maybe this would be a time to do that. 1571 01:07:32,299 --> 01:07:33,864 - Possibly, I'd like to hope so. 1572 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,009 It seems reasonable. 1573 01:07:37,637 --> 01:07:40,554 - [david] and what is it you really wanna say to elesha? 1574 01:07:40,557 --> 01:07:43,874 - Well, elesha, 1575 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:45,060 I love you, girl. 1576 01:07:47,397 --> 01:07:48,605 - I just want to kind of highlight that. 1577 01:07:48,899 --> 01:07:51,674 Elesha, does your dad tell you that he loves you often? 1578 01:07:51,902 --> 01:07:53,993 - [elesha] in my family, people aren't very expressive. 1579 01:07:54,154 --> 01:07:56,946 They're not really big into displays of affection. 1580 01:07:57,157 --> 01:07:58,739 - Unfortunately. - So this is kind 1581 01:07:58,742 --> 01:07:59,799 Of new for you. 1582 01:07:59,910 --> 01:08:01,117 - Very much so but it feels good. 1583 01:08:01,411 --> 01:08:02,985 - [david] it feels good to have your dad say that, huh? 1584 01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:05,412 - Feels great. - Nice job, jim. 1585 01:08:05,499 --> 01:08:07,290 - You know, we've always been standoffish 1586 01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:11,494 And we've always neglected to express our feelings. 1587 01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:13,329 - Yeah. - And that's not 1588 01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:17,183 Especially good, but at least it kept us away 1589 01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:18,334 From each other's throats. 1590 01:08:18,553 --> 01:08:20,686 - Yeah, yeah, but it also kept you away 1591 01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:21,805 From each other's hearts. 1592 01:08:22,015 --> 01:08:24,808 - Yeah, that's the negative side. 1593 01:08:25,060 --> 01:08:27,751 - Yeah, so what we want to do here is open up space 1594 01:08:27,938 --> 01:08:29,679 For the two of you to have a relationship. 1595 01:08:29,898 --> 01:08:31,981 - [jim] yeah, that would be nice. 1596 01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:33,532 - Still got a lot more work to do. 1597 01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:36,018 And I guess one question that I would have for you, jim, 1598 01:08:36,196 --> 01:08:38,696 Is you know, you have elesha here 1599 01:08:38,949 --> 01:08:41,949 And your brother larry is over there 1600 01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,302 Kind of sitting there with not much to do 1601 01:08:44,454 --> 01:08:47,855 And I'm wondering, would you feel comfortable 1602 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:51,033 Allowing elesha and allowing larry 1603 01:08:51,253 --> 01:08:54,295 To make some decisions on your behalf? 1604 01:08:54,381 --> 01:08:56,706 Then we could divide and conquer, you know? 1605 01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:59,175 - That's an interesting question. 1606 01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:02,095 - Can we put him to work? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1607 01:09:03,557 --> 01:09:05,265 - All right, so let's see if we can get dorothy to come in 1608 01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:06,640 And help us with the logistics 1609 01:09:06,726 --> 01:09:08,368 'cause we're going from one decision maker 1610 01:09:08,436 --> 01:09:09,793 To three decision makers. 1611 01:09:09,938 --> 01:09:11,295 - Okay. - Okay, great. 1612 01:09:11,523 --> 01:09:12,889 - [dorothy] wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what am I hearing? 1613 01:09:13,066 --> 01:09:14,156 What am I hearing? 1614 01:09:14,234 --> 01:09:19,153 - So jim has very bravely agreed 1615 01:09:19,239 --> 01:09:22,198 To let elesha make some decisions on his behalf 1616 01:09:22,450 --> 01:09:25,142 And letting larry make some decisions on his behalf. 1617 01:09:25,245 --> 01:09:26,068 - That's wonderful. 1618 01:09:26,246 --> 01:09:27,645 Well, we can make that happen. 1619 01:09:27,747 --> 01:09:28,829 Elesha, come with me. 1620 01:09:28,915 --> 01:09:30,915 Let's get some gloves. - Let's go. 1621 01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:34,586 (intense music) 1622 01:09:38,967 --> 01:09:41,009 - [larry] um, let it go. 1623 01:09:46,683 --> 01:09:47,515 No. 1624 01:09:52,147 --> 01:09:54,597 - While they're doing that, I have an idea for you. 1625 01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:56,615 So you see there's a whole bunch of bags 1626 01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:57,841 That are piled up here. 1627 01:09:58,028 --> 01:10:00,511 And I wonder just as a symbolic gesture, 1628 01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:02,271 Would you be willing to throw the first bag 1629 01:10:02,490 --> 01:10:04,106 Onto the trailer and get it outta here? 1630 01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:06,183 - I'll throw the first one and the last one. 1631 01:10:06,328 --> 01:10:07,293 - [david] let's do it, come on. 1632 01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:08,686 Let's go over this way. 1633 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:10,622 Let's pick one that's not too heavy. 1634 01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:15,667 - Oh, this'll do. - Yeah, all right. 1635 01:10:15,670 --> 01:10:17,253 Toss it on up there. 1636 01:10:17,464 --> 01:10:19,380 - All right, let's go make a run. 1637 01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:22,700 - [david] all right. 1638 01:10:22,802 --> 01:10:25,294 (everyone cheers) 1639 01:10:25,472 --> 01:10:27,180 Way to go, jim. - Bullseye. 1640 01:10:28,141 --> 01:10:29,465 - This is really tough for me 1641 01:10:29,643 --> 01:10:32,969 Because we're seeing a transformation 1642 01:10:33,146 --> 01:10:34,878 In both elesha and jim, 1643 01:10:35,023 --> 01:10:37,065 But this is an impossible challenge. 1644 01:10:39,069 --> 01:10:41,236 I don't see how we can get the inside done. 1645 01:11:13,711 --> 01:11:15,495 Wait a second, what's here? 1646 01:11:15,563 --> 01:11:16,980 What have we got, tyler? 1647 01:11:17,190 --> 01:11:18,272 - [tyler] there's two guns. 1648 01:11:18,316 --> 01:11:20,699 - Okay, stop. - Stop. 1649 01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:21,985 - Everybody out. 1650 01:11:23,738 --> 01:11:24,821 Everybody out. 1651 01:11:25,031 --> 01:11:27,090 We are finding a gun on the average 1652 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:28,907 About one every single hour. 1653 01:11:28,994 --> 01:11:30,267 And so, oh, you've got another gun? 1654 01:11:30,370 --> 01:11:31,101 - [tyler] I got another gun. 1655 01:11:31,204 --> 01:11:33,546 - Stop. - Stop. 1656 01:11:33,707 --> 01:11:35,714 - I have to call the gun specialist in. 1657 01:11:35,875 --> 01:11:39,084 We say stop, he has to come in, take the guns, 1658 01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:42,422 Secure it, tie it, tag it and store it away. 1659 01:11:44,384 --> 01:11:47,093 So that is slowing us down for sure. 1660 01:11:47,262 --> 01:11:49,862 Okay, let's keep going. 1661 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:52,598 (intense music) 1662 01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:00,723 - You know as I've been thinking more and more 1663 01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:01,965 About this clean out process, 1664 01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,559 It's occurring to me 1665 01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:05,486 That this is not just about cleaning out a house, 1666 01:12:05,572 --> 01:12:08,064 But it's really kind of making space for the two of you. 1667 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:09,748 And the two of you seem like, 1668 01:12:09,909 --> 01:12:11,834 Even though you live in the same house, 1669 01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:14,203 You've been sort of in your own spaces 1670 01:12:14,414 --> 01:12:16,139 And kind of stuck in your own places. 1671 01:12:16,291 --> 01:12:18,641 And you know, I thought maybe this would be a time 1672 01:12:18,710 --> 01:12:19,733 To connect a little bit 1673 01:12:19,919 --> 01:12:21,310 And just sort of talk things through. 1674 01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:23,796 Elesha, what do you feel like you need 1675 01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:25,298 From your dad right now? 1676 01:12:27,594 --> 01:12:30,344 - Just for him to share with me more of who he is 1677 01:12:30,430 --> 01:12:31,387 'cause there are parts of himself 1678 01:12:31,598 --> 01:12:33,306 I don't think he's ever really shared. 1679 01:12:34,726 --> 01:12:38,411 - Well, you know, it's hard for me to talk like that. 1680 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:41,764 And of course my daughter 1681 01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:44,100 Is somebody that I'm not accustomed 1682 01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:47,094 To expressing myself with or about 1683 01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,605 Or around, you know, - you're not? 1684 01:12:49,657 --> 01:12:51,281 - Because I don't want her to think any worse of me 1685 01:12:51,326 --> 01:12:53,200 Than she already does, so. 1686 01:12:53,286 --> 01:12:55,127 - Dad. - Wow, now you're laughing, 1687 01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:58,781 But I think jim, you just said something really powerful. 1688 01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:02,709 What is it that if elesha knew about you, 1689 01:13:02,796 --> 01:13:05,137 What is it that she would find out 1690 01:13:05,298 --> 01:13:07,173 That would make her think less of you? 1691 01:13:09,135 --> 01:13:11,427 - I don't know, I guess perhaps that, 1692 01:13:12,639 --> 01:13:16,206 That I'm more of an idiot 1693 01:13:16,393 --> 01:13:18,467 And a weakling than I put on, you know? 1694 01:13:18,686 --> 01:13:20,394 - Elesha, I don't know if you're hearing 1695 01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:21,895 What jim is saying, - absolutely. 1696 01:13:22,023 --> 01:13:23,739 - But I mean, he's saying some really powerful stuff here. 1697 01:13:23,858 --> 01:13:25,065 - Absolutely. - He's saying that 1698 01:13:25,151 --> 01:13:27,050 You would think less of him if you knew him more 1699 01:13:27,195 --> 01:13:28,294 And that he's a, - yeah. 1700 01:13:28,446 --> 01:13:30,446 - I think he said an idiot and a weakling. 1701 01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:31,981 I mean, do you view him that way? 1702 01:13:32,117 --> 01:13:33,533 - Not at all. 1703 01:13:34,786 --> 01:13:36,494 - How do you view your dad, elesha? 1704 01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:39,664 (sad music) 1705 01:13:40,667 --> 01:13:41,541 It's okay. 1706 01:13:45,004 --> 01:13:47,130 - He's a good guy. - Yeah. 1707 01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:51,742 - I didn't defend her from her mother 1708 01:13:51,970 --> 01:13:54,411 As much as she thought I should have, that's for sure. 1709 01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:55,746 - Yeah. - But-- 1710 01:13:55,849 --> 01:13:57,940 - This isn't about the past. 1711 01:13:58,017 --> 01:13:59,500 We can learn and we can move on. 1712 01:13:59,686 --> 01:14:02,419 - [jim] we're coming from there, but you're right. 1713 01:14:02,522 --> 01:14:04,280 No point in dwelling on it. 1714 01:14:04,357 --> 01:14:05,014 - It's like we are who we are 1715 01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,150 And we've been where we've been. 1716 01:14:07,402 --> 01:14:10,035 We all have our idiosyncrasies, our imperfections, 1717 01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:11,320 But we're human. 1718 01:14:11,531 --> 01:14:12,613 We're allowed to be flawed. 1719 01:14:12,699 --> 01:14:14,114 We're allowed to make mistakes. 1720 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:14,932 - That's right. - And we're allowed 1721 01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:17,693 To learn from them and move on. 1722 01:14:17,829 --> 01:14:19,028 - Yep. 1723 01:14:19,247 --> 01:14:20,212 - [elesha] you know, and what my dad did 1724 01:14:20,248 --> 01:14:21,847 Like in his service days, 1725 01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:22,915 That was amazing. 1726 01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:27,194 - Vietnam was an interesting ride. 1727 01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:29,589 - I bet. - I tried to explain to her 1728 01:14:31,384 --> 01:14:34,043 What it's like to be on a death March. 1729 01:14:34,220 --> 01:14:36,145 You know, where everybody, 1730 01:14:36,222 --> 01:14:38,455 All the ammunition is gone, 1731 01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:39,849 Everybody's done for 1732 01:14:41,269 --> 01:14:44,127 And we still got five miles to walk 1733 01:14:44,230 --> 01:14:46,555 To the pickup point. 1734 01:14:46,733 --> 01:14:48,691 (jim laughs) 1735 01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:51,377 - So what's that laughter hiding, jim? 1736 01:14:51,571 --> 01:14:55,898 - I guess it's hiding the fear and the exasperation 1737 01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:58,534 And the desperation and the anger 1738 01:15:00,288 --> 01:15:03,088 Of an insane situation 1739 01:15:03,249 --> 01:15:05,666 That you shouldn't have a bunch of guys in, you know? 1740 01:15:05,752 --> 01:15:08,044 There's probably about 12 or 15 of us 1741 01:15:12,425 --> 01:15:13,382 And we, 1742 01:15:14,385 --> 01:15:17,494 We walked a long ways that day. 1743 01:15:17,597 --> 01:15:20,723 And so. 1744 01:15:22,644 --> 01:15:24,810 Yeah, but we made it, so you know, we... 1745 01:15:26,606 --> 01:15:28,264 There was several of us that couldn't walk 1746 01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:30,783 And needed extra assistance. 1747 01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:33,069 - Sounds like the war is still very much on your mind. 1748 01:15:33,279 --> 01:15:34,070 - Oh yes, it's still there. 1749 01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:35,779 You know, there's parts of it 1750 01:15:35,823 --> 01:15:37,240 You just can't get rid of. 1751 01:15:37,492 --> 01:15:39,533 - You ever get help? - Or I haven't been able to. 1752 01:15:39,619 --> 01:15:40,776 - You ever get help with that, jim? 1753 01:15:40,954 --> 01:15:42,378 Like through the va? 1754 01:15:42,497 --> 01:15:45,464 - Well they've offered to and I've been reluctant 1755 01:15:45,583 --> 01:15:48,084 Because you know, I don't want to 1756 01:15:49,254 --> 01:15:52,362 Get to the bottom of the slime pit, you know, 1757 01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:53,798 And say, yeah, 1758 01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:59,128 Yeah, this is me, let's... 1759 01:15:59,305 --> 01:16:01,204 Let's talk about the real me, 1760 01:16:01,307 --> 01:16:02,265 You know? - Yeah. 1761 01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:06,652 You know, elesha, I'm wondering if maybe 1762 01:16:06,813 --> 01:16:08,938 That would be an area where you could encourage your dad 1763 01:16:09,107 --> 01:16:11,064 To get mental health help 1764 01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:13,400 That it sounds like he kind of needs. 1765 01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:15,160 - Absolutely, absolutely. - You know? 1766 01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:16,445 - I've encouraged that a number of times, 1767 01:16:16,656 --> 01:16:18,655 But it was something that he just wasn't ready 1768 01:16:18,700 --> 01:16:19,907 To commit to at this time. 1769 01:16:20,159 --> 01:16:21,558 - Yeah a lot of people aren't. - Yeah and maybe I should 1770 01:16:21,703 --> 01:16:24,403 Go ahead and try that now. 1771 01:16:24,664 --> 01:16:26,555 - I think you might benefit from it, you know? 1772 01:16:26,666 --> 01:16:28,791 - Yeah, sounds like a good idea. 1773 01:16:30,503 --> 01:16:32,795 - To see dad opened up like that, that's rare, 1774 01:16:33,006 --> 01:16:35,147 And it meant a lot to me 1775 01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:37,967 That he was willing to take that step to, 1776 01:16:39,721 --> 01:16:41,304 Just start taking off that mask 1777 01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:42,929 That he's worn for so long. 1778 01:16:43,057 --> 01:16:46,642 - Elesha, you know your dad better than just about anyone. 1779 01:16:46,853 --> 01:16:48,728 What do you think he needs right now? 1780 01:16:51,665 --> 01:16:53,983 (jim laughs) 1781 01:16:56,529 --> 01:16:59,438 - Yeah, yeah, she's a good girl. 1782 01:16:59,699 --> 01:17:01,782 - Well listen, I'm really glad that we were able to talk 1783 01:17:01,868 --> 01:17:04,618 And you know, again, I'm really hoping 1784 01:17:04,704 --> 01:17:06,545 That we're not just gonna make space in the house, 1785 01:17:06,706 --> 01:17:08,697 But that we're gonna make space for the two of you 1786 01:17:08,941 --> 01:17:11,116 To have a good relationship here 1787 01:17:11,336 --> 01:17:13,377 And that's more important than the stuff. 1788 01:17:14,881 --> 01:17:17,256 (calm music) 1789 01:17:21,554 --> 01:17:23,304 (calm music) 1790 01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:31,804 - This is the last day and I'm totally amped up 1791 01:17:32,065 --> 01:17:35,708 Because we still have stuff in the front yard, 1792 01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,818 We have stuff in the house, 1793 01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:40,821 I have jim and elesha working on electronics. 1794 01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,907 - [elesha] yeah, we need to make that blanket decision, dad. 1795 01:17:43,159 --> 01:17:44,909 - Yeah, we're tossing the blanket. 1796 01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:55,920 - We're boxing everything else up that's left over. 1797 01:17:57,965 --> 01:18:01,967 And I have housekeepers just scrubbing as fast as they can. 1798 01:18:05,306 --> 01:18:07,998 We're taking things that we purchased for him 1799 01:18:08,142 --> 01:18:10,267 And bringing it into the house. 1800 01:18:13,106 --> 01:18:16,231 We're doing everything we can to set this house up 1801 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:19,276 So it looks like a true home for elesha and jim. 1802 01:18:23,157 --> 01:18:24,115 Come on in. 1803 01:18:25,284 --> 01:18:29,394 - Come, my god, what on earth took place here? 1804 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:32,114 - [dorothy] well, just take it in for a minute. 1805 01:18:32,333 --> 01:18:33,523 - [david] jim and elesha, how does it feel 1806 01:18:33,626 --> 01:18:35,025 To see your house like this? 1807 01:18:35,128 --> 01:18:36,168 - Am I floating? 1808 01:18:37,964 --> 01:18:40,231 - This is a dream. - Yeah. 1809 01:18:40,299 --> 01:18:41,857 I'm tempted to cry. 1810 01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:45,644 My god, this is astounding. 1811 01:18:45,805 --> 01:18:47,279 - [david] what makes you feel like crying, jim? 1812 01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:49,147 - It was painful, but it's sweet. 1813 01:18:49,225 --> 01:18:50,466 - Yeah. - And yeah, 1814 01:18:50,643 --> 01:18:52,351 It's really sweet to see things 1815 01:18:53,521 --> 01:18:55,913 That I haven't seen for a long time, like walls. 1816 01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:56,939 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1817 01:18:57,191 --> 01:19:00,793 For it to be so open and airy in the light. 1818 01:19:00,862 --> 01:19:03,279 - Yeah, this is a-- - flows. 1819 01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:04,964 - This is what I've been missing. 1820 01:19:05,032 --> 01:19:06,740 Yeah, this is it. 1821 01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:09,326 It looks like new, it's magnificent. 1822 01:19:10,830 --> 01:19:12,370 No god, look at the top of the stove. 1823 01:19:12,498 --> 01:19:13,889 - [david] now you can actually cook in there 1824 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:15,266 And it's safe. - Yeah, yeah, use all 1825 01:19:15,418 --> 01:19:17,676 Four burners. - And it's safe, you know? 1826 01:19:17,837 --> 01:19:19,895 'cause I'll tell you, I don't know about you, dorothy, 1827 01:19:20,006 --> 01:19:21,738 But I was really worried about that stove. 1828 01:19:21,841 --> 01:19:23,181 That's a gas stove, 1829 01:19:23,342 --> 01:19:24,850 There was a lot of flammable stuff right around it. 1830 01:19:24,927 --> 01:19:26,485 You know, that's not safe. 1831 01:19:26,596 --> 01:19:28,386 So now it's a safe space for you. 1832 01:19:28,431 --> 01:19:30,506 - Yeah, yeah. - Larry. 1833 01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:33,342 - What do you think big guy? - Might you visit? 1834 01:19:33,519 --> 01:19:34,894 - [larry] yeah, probably will. 1835 01:19:35,062 --> 01:19:36,770 (everyone laughs) 1836 01:19:36,898 --> 01:19:38,922 - [david] what do you think about what you seeing, larry? 1837 01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:40,608 - I've never seen it like this. 1838 01:19:41,944 --> 01:19:43,152 - This was a massive hoard. 1839 01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:46,188 We filled six dumpsters, that's 12 tons. 1840 01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:48,365 And among all of us as a team, 1841 01:19:48,576 --> 01:19:51,117 We worked four months worth of work. 1842 01:19:51,204 --> 01:19:52,803 If you add up all the man and women hours, 1843 01:19:52,872 --> 01:19:53,954 This is incredible. 1844 01:19:55,041 --> 01:19:58,000 I just wanna remind you that we have 1845 01:19:58,211 --> 01:20:00,443 Averted the crisis with the city. 1846 01:20:00,688 --> 01:20:03,839 You know, those liens are not looming. 1847 01:20:04,050 --> 01:20:06,074 You know, this is something that is 1848 01:20:06,076 --> 01:20:07,593 A breathing point for you. 1849 01:20:07,804 --> 01:20:08,885 - Yeah. - Now one piece 1850 01:20:08,971 --> 01:20:10,629 That I do want to talk about a little bit 1851 01:20:10,807 --> 01:20:12,981 Is the issue of aftercare. 1852 01:20:13,059 --> 01:20:14,700 You know, this is a start, 1853 01:20:14,894 --> 01:20:17,460 But I want you to see this is the start of the process, 1854 01:20:17,605 --> 01:20:18,962 But not the end of the process. 1855 01:20:19,106 --> 01:20:22,224 - Yeah. - Hoarding is a big deal 1856 01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:23,817 And it requires treatment. 1857 01:20:23,903 --> 01:20:26,545 And a lot of the conflict that you're experiencing 1858 01:20:26,656 --> 01:20:29,581 Around the war is also troublesome. 1859 01:20:29,659 --> 01:20:30,824 - Yeah. - But you know 1860 01:20:30,910 --> 01:20:32,067 The good thing is there are treatments out there 1861 01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:33,310 That can really help you. 1862 01:20:33,496 --> 01:20:34,987 I've set you up with a private therapist 1863 01:20:35,164 --> 01:20:37,072 Who specializes in hoarding, 1864 01:20:37,291 --> 01:20:39,499 But also I want to make you aware of the fact 1865 01:20:39,627 --> 01:20:42,503 That these services are also available through the va. 1866 01:20:43,589 --> 01:20:45,989 Jim, like all of our veterans 1867 01:20:46,133 --> 01:20:48,884 Deserves the best care possible 1868 01:20:49,136 --> 01:20:52,345 And they can get that care at the va medical center. 1869 01:20:52,473 --> 01:20:54,681 And I want jim to make sure that he takes advantage 1870 01:20:54,684 --> 01:20:56,091 Of that service. 1871 01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:57,167 - Yeah, I'll have to do that. - I actually just sent 1872 01:20:57,311 --> 01:20:58,561 A message today to the va. 1873 01:20:58,813 --> 01:21:00,946 - That's perfect, I'm really glad you're taking that step 1874 01:21:01,107 --> 01:21:02,931 Is making sure that you get the help that you need. 1875 01:21:03,150 --> 01:21:06,785 - Our next stop, elesha, is to head to your bedroom. 1876 01:21:06,821 --> 01:21:09,196 (calm music) 1877 01:21:10,658 --> 01:21:11,615 - Oh my god. 1878 01:21:13,661 --> 01:21:15,035 Wow, it's a bedroom again. 1879 01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:17,479 - [david] elesha, what's going through your mind 1880 01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:18,889 As you look around your new bedroom? 1881 01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,599 - I feel emotional. - Yeah? 1882 01:21:20,668 --> 01:21:22,859 What kind of emotions? 1883 01:21:22,962 --> 01:21:24,837 - Excited, thankful, 1884 01:21:25,798 --> 01:21:27,339 I'm feeling a lot of gratitude. 1885 01:21:28,467 --> 01:21:30,526 I can't put into words how much peace 1886 01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,028 This whole experience has brought me 1887 01:21:33,139 --> 01:21:34,888 And the change I already see in my dad. 1888 01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:37,390 It's gonna be a long road, I understand that, 1889 01:21:37,518 --> 01:21:40,802 But to see the door open and to see my dad peek through it 1890 01:21:40,980 --> 01:21:42,146 Gives me a lot of hope. 1891 01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:46,625 - All right, well let's check out one more room, okay? 1892 01:21:46,652 --> 01:21:47,484 All right. 1893 01:21:49,488 --> 01:21:52,080 - Wow. - Oh my gosh. 1894 01:21:52,199 --> 01:21:54,533 - [jim] yeah, I can see the walls and everything. 1895 01:21:57,538 --> 01:22:01,506 - So jim, we set up this room as your sleeping room. 1896 01:22:01,667 --> 01:22:02,958 - Sleeping room, there you go. - Okay, it's really just 1897 01:22:03,169 --> 01:22:04,810 For you to come in and sleep 1898 01:22:04,921 --> 01:22:07,212 And have the whole bed to sleep in. 1899 01:22:07,423 --> 01:22:09,298 - All right. - The other room is 1900 01:22:09,508 --> 01:22:10,999 As it was. - Yeah, yeah. 1901 01:22:11,052 --> 01:22:13,469 - And in fact that's where all your guns are stored. 1902 01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:14,637 - Right, okay. - So that it's been safe, 1903 01:22:14,889 --> 01:22:17,172 You know, so that we could work in the house. 1904 01:22:17,391 --> 01:22:20,975 Sleep here, sort and organize over there. 1905 01:22:21,020 --> 01:22:22,769 - That's probably a good idea. 1906 01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:24,938 - I'm remembering when I first came into the house 1907 01:22:25,066 --> 01:22:28,459 And I saw the little sliver of bed that you were lying on. 1908 01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:29,818 - The little shelf. - I'll tell you just, 1909 01:22:30,029 --> 01:22:31,520 Jim, that broke my heart to see you 1910 01:22:31,781 --> 01:22:33,855 Having to live that way and I'm really glad 1911 01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:35,707 That dorothy and her team were able to open up 1912 01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:39,786 A space for you to sleep and to be comfortable. 1913 01:22:39,789 --> 01:22:40,871 - That's amazing. 1914 01:22:42,208 --> 01:22:44,667 I'm ready to start living again. 1915 01:22:44,877 --> 01:22:48,020 And I do sort of feel like the old boy 1916 01:22:48,089 --> 01:22:49,112 That fell into the ditch 1917 01:22:49,256 --> 01:22:53,692 And had the good samaritan rescue him. 1918 01:22:53,761 --> 01:22:55,010 - I think we can step outside 1919 01:22:55,221 --> 01:22:58,530 Because you know I can't help myself. 1920 01:22:58,557 --> 01:23:00,582 (jim laughs) 1921 01:23:00,810 --> 01:23:03,552 We always have one more little thing that we wanna, 1922 01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:05,688 Ah, just one more thing to show you. 1923 01:23:05,898 --> 01:23:06,872 So why don't we head outside 1924 01:23:06,983 --> 01:23:08,023 And see what we've got? - Okay. 1925 01:23:08,909 --> 01:23:11,109 - Come on out. - Come on out. 1926 01:23:11,153 --> 01:23:14,071 (triumphant music) 1927 01:23:22,081 --> 01:23:23,080 - Post halt. 1928 01:23:25,126 --> 01:23:26,583 Right face. 1929 01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:28,752 Present flags. 1930 01:23:29,964 --> 01:23:31,680 (jim laughs) 1931 01:23:31,841 --> 01:23:35,901 Sergeant ellison on behalf of the veterans of foreign wars, 1932 01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:39,221 I'd like to thank you for your service in the u.S. Army. 1933 01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:42,574 And we would like to be a support to you and your family 1934 01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:45,927 At the kannapolis post 8989 1935 01:23:46,147 --> 01:23:48,188 If you would be interested in joining us. 1936 01:23:48,274 --> 01:23:50,173 - Here, I thought I was just a lonely old veteran 1937 01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:51,525 Serving on his own. 1938 01:23:52,695 --> 01:23:53,752 - [david] oh, you never are. 1939 01:23:53,821 --> 01:23:55,654 - Post, present arms. 1940 01:23:56,657 --> 01:23:57,781 Order arms. 1941 01:23:58,826 --> 01:24:00,350 Thank you. - Yeah, thank you. 1942 01:24:00,453 --> 01:24:02,294 God all mighty. 1943 01:24:02,329 --> 01:24:04,429 (man whistles) 1944 01:24:04,457 --> 01:24:06,832 (jim laughs) 1945 01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:09,543 - [everyone] yay, jim. 1946 01:24:12,214 --> 01:24:15,140 - The parade really surprised me. 1947 01:24:15,176 --> 01:24:16,091 Yeah, I was stunned. 1948 01:24:16,302 --> 01:24:19,235 I wasn't just surprised, I was stunned. 1949 01:24:19,237 --> 01:24:21,597 It felt really great for the veterans 1950 01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:24,707 To just come in and thank me 1951 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,393 And it was amazing. 1952 01:24:27,395 --> 01:24:28,228 Group hug. 1953 01:24:33,685 --> 01:24:36,320 (intense music)