(intense music)
- When I first met jim, I had no idea he was a hoarder.
- I've always been able to keep her away from my house.
- How can you live like this?
I'm so sorry. (crying)
- [david] I see you say, let it go,
And then I see you picking through the pile.
- I buy it for 50 bucks and then they just throw it away.
- Get off your ass and come over here and help.
- I don't know if we're gonna get very far.
- [dorothy] if we leave it like this,
This will have been for nothing.
This is an impossible challenge.
- He's choosing things over people.
- [jim] the truth is I want 'em both.
- Jimmy, quit making excuses.
Come and help.
- You need to go.
- You need to.
- Get out of my face. - Get out of our face.
- I can't be here anymore.
(intense music)
(lively music)
(door squeaks)
- I'm jim and I'm a retired electrician.
I suppose I could say that I accumulated
All this stuff by mistake,
But that would have to mean a lot of mistakes.
(rock music)
I woke up one day and said,
"where did all this stuff come from?"
I am a hoarder.
I like to collect tools for sure.
(intense music)
Camera things, electronics of all types,
Computer components and gizmos,
Survival stuff.
Got tons of books.
I've got materials from projects
That I thought would be financially beneficial
But somehow I got sidetracked
And I could actually fill up a warehouse I sometimes think.
- [elesha] it's time for a couple pills here.
- [jim] couple of pills.
Let's have a couple pills.
- I'm elesha and jim is my dad.
All right, down you go.
(sad music)
In 2019 when I lost my last job, I felt broken.
I moved in with my dad.
He thought, well, maybe we can help each other.
We can get this place cleaned up
And you can kind of find yourself again.
And along the way, that didn't,
That didn't happen.
Living in the middle of my dads hoard,
It's been the most difficult experience of my life.
You know feeling claustrophobic and suffocated in there.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
- My daughter's a good girl and I do love her.
Yeah, some kind of a hawk in there or is that an owl?
It must have had something.
We get along pretty good together,
But she doesn't like the fact that I've got such a mess
And of course neither do I.
(sad music)
- In 2016, the city came out and did a force cleanup
And the police were there.
And my dad at the time, he was obviously resistant.
And as they were loading things into the truck,
He was actually going up to the truck.
They had to discourage him.
I mean my dad, he's...
He's a peaceful guy,
So he's not gonna do anything.
He just wanted his stuff.
- They did a forced lien on me
And the lien was $35,000, which was shocking.
I heard there was gonna be a lien,
But I had no idea it was that high.
Of course I was still feeling very
Stung from the forced cleanup.
And so I guess that probably contributed to the fact
That I was prone to making the same mistake twice.
- If the cleanup is not done,
The city will come again and they will take everything.
They will place another lien.
And if that happens,
He's not gonna be able to keep the house.
- I'm larry and I'm jim's brother.
Jim was a hoarder right from childhood.
(intense music)
As a kid, he would collect toys and clothes
And all kinds of oddball things
That I didn't see where he had immediate need for 'em
But he always had gleam in his eyes just collecting things.
And one of the things he perfectly had
And still feels that way now
Is he don't want to give it up
Once he accumulated it.
- Throughout his life,
There have been several things that would qualify
As substantial trauma for my father
That have impacted him deeply and that have changed him.
- In the last weeks of summer,
Jesus decided to take the 12
Into the hill country of galilee.
(sad music)
Probably the most incredible thing I saw while I was there,
We were driving across the mekong river
And the stench of dead bodies
Was so incredible,
That there were thousands of dead bodies in the river.
I puked and retched and screamed.
It was...
It was absolutely horrific.
- That time he spent in vietnam,
The things that he saw and some of the things
That he had to do,
He gave his all in that service.
He gave parts of himself that I don't think anybody
Should ever have to give up in the name of war.
(calm music)
- When I got back from vietnam,
We were living in nebraska
In a little town outside of omaha
And then I was commuting to offutt air force base
Where I was working.
(sad music)
- Robbie was my older brother.
He died about two weeks before his second birthday.
- We went off to sleep and it was a normal night
We thought and woke up the next morning
And he was dangling
On the side of his bed and he was dead.
And when we found him, you know,
We just fell apart.
It was difficult to come back from that.
- For years, just bringing up robbie's name,
He would cry
And he still does.
- I met wanda a couple of years after the divorce
And we got along really well.
And we lived together for the first four or five years
And then we got married.
We enjoyed exploring
And we would go to the mountains
And go to various waterfalls
And caves and things like that.
We went to flea markets.
She didn't want to entertain my hoarding but she did
Because, you know, we both enjoyed walking
Around flea markets and thrift stores
And talking to people and laughing, you know?
Because it didn't cost anything, well didn't cost much.
You know, we would buy a few things.
(sad music)
I thought she was going to the bathroom,
But apparently she was in there changing the light bulbs
In the light bar.
I was dozing off on the couch
And then I heard her holler my name
And I heard the crash of her falling off of the little stool
She was on and she fell right into the floor.
And so I came back there and she was in the floor,
She wasn't moving, she wasn't talking.
I called 911 and when the emts came in,
They shocked her six times and no response.
- It was a massive heart attack.
There was a blood clot and he lost her.
That threw my dad into a spiral.
- After my wife died, I went into a tailspin.
Felt like I fell off a mountain.
It took me months to get to where I could actually,
You know, feel like I could move.
And after that,
I started going to flea markets
And thrift stores more regularly.
That really made me feel better.
- I met jim several months ago in a department store.
They played nice music and I was dancing in a corner.
He came over and started dancing with me
And then he introduced himself.
- She was crazy enough to give me her phone number
And I was crazy enough to call her back.
And so we started seeing each other.
- When I first met jim, I had no idea he was a hoarder.
- I've always been able to keep her away from my house.
I'd always say, well, let's go down here
And get something to eat
Or let's go there and get a cup of coffee.
- I now know he is a hoarder
And I haven't seen the inside of his house.
I do care about him, he's a good soul
And we're supposed to help each other.
We were placed on this earth to help each other.
- I have no way of predicting what's gonna happen.
I know that he is not happy about cleaning his property up
And he's a little nervous and I think he's uncertain
As whether he really wants to do it or not.
(intense music)
- I love my dad and I want to be there for him and with him.
But I have sacrificed parts of myself
That I'm gonna have to fight to get back.
Part of that fight may mean me ultimately not being there
If nothing changes.
- Code enforcement knows how to express
The 400 pound gorilla.
They're threatening me with another forced cleanup.
And they're saying that this time,
They don't have to give me any warning.
- Hi jim.
(jim laughs)
Dr. David tolin, how are you?
- All right. - Very nice to meet you.
I'm dr. David tolin.
I'm a clinical psychologist and I specialize in the study
And treatment of hoarding disorder.
May I come in?
- Come on in. - All right.
- [jim] do not stand out in that rain.
- [david] it is cold and wet out there.
Okay. - It it's been tested,
It won't fall.
And here I thought I tested that.
(jim laughs)
- Well, it certainly raises the issue of hazard.
And I wonder, you know, do you feel safe in this house?
- Oh, I feel safe. - You do?
- I can say that there's nothing in here
That can fall on me
That I can't get out of.
- Okay, understood, understood.
This is a very densely packed house
And you get the impression that jim
Has created a barricade here.
I see you've got a lot of survival gear here, jim.
- Yeah. - Yeah, what's that about?
- Well, I guess you hadn't heard
The world is ending next week.
(jim laughs)
- [david] is that what you're preparing for?
- Well that's what I thought I was doing.
And to at least feel as though
I had most of the things
That I might need in a desperate situation.
- Understood.
As I point out some of the survivalist stuff
And all the kind of doomsday prep that jim has in the house,
He's able to concede that maybe he is erecting a wall
Between him and the outside world.
If that's the case,
Then it's gonna be that much harder
For us to get him to let go of things.
They give him a sense of safety, of security.
Why are we here to clean up now?
- The code enforcers were about to
Pay me an unpleasant visit.
Now all they intend to do is to just throw everything away
And tell me that all of my time and money
Was totally wasted.
- I see, so kind of what's at stake
Is that the code enforcement people are coming in
And telling you you have to clean up
And if you don't, they're gonna start throwing stuff out?
- That was definitely a significant element.
- That'll do it, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
- Well, so I appreciate you showing me this area
And I wonder if we could go look at the kitchen.
- Oh, by all means. - All right, lead the way.
- [jim] follow me.
(sad music)
- So as I look at this kitchen,
I wonder how are you cooking and eating?
- [jim] well, I sit on my chair and eat.
- [david] right here?
- And I got my two burners oven where I cook.
- Is that a gas stove? - Yeah.
I know it's suicidal.
- [david] so jim, this is really not safe.
- It is.
I haven't had a single flare up.
- Not yet, thank goodness, knock on wood.
I also get a sense that there's a real safety hazard here.
Not just from stuff falling on you, which could happen,
But fire risk with all that stuff
Piled around the kitchen stove.
So where do you spend your time?
- I spend a lot of my time right here.
- [david] right here in this chair?
- Yeah, right here in this chair.
And of course I used to be able
To go into the den and work on the computer,
But it got overgrown
And then a cat jumped up on my desk
And dumped everything out
And I just haven't felt like
Getting it all organized again.
- [david] okay.
Jim, can we go see your room?
- Let's do it. - All right, let's do it.
(sad music)
So this is your bedroom, jim.
- [jim] yeah, this is the luxury palace.
- When I walk into the bedroom,
My immediate emotional reaction was one of sadness.
I was just imagining if jim was my father
Living in that condition,
I would be heartbroken.
Where do you sleep?
Let's start there.
- Well, I sleep on that shelf at the bed.
- Just on the little corner of the bed
And the rest of it is cluttered up, okay.
- [david] yep.
- Well, I'm just sort of wondering
If you have a sense of what's going on here.
- Oh, I've got a sense of what's going on
And I'm not happy about it,
But life must go on.
- So what do you think is the bottom line
In terms of how this is all progressing
And how this all happened?
- It seemed to make sense as I was going along.
- Yeah. - But I finally
Got overwhelmed.
- [david] yeah, it sounds that way.
- [jim] and then here I am.
I'm gonna have to get rid of some of this stuff,
There's no doubt about it.
- I think you're right.
Yeah, I think that there's probably no way
That we're just gonna be able to organize all this stuff.
I mean, I think a lot of it's just gonna have to go.
- [jim] well I think it could be organized,
But it'd probably take a year.
- Yeah and I think you'd still have a very full house.
- Yeah, yeah and the place would still be packed.
- Yeah.
So that's really gonna be the big challenge
For you I think in these next several days
Is being willing to let go of things,
Even things that you might feel some attachment to.
- That's true, that is true.
- [david] do you feel ready to start that process?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
- Okay. - I just am not sure
How well I will make it through,
But I'm ready to try.
- What do you think is the worst case scenario?
(sad music)
- Well the worst case scenario is that
Maybe I'll just fall apart
Or maybe I'll get enraged.
- Okay. - I don't know.
- Okay, well I want you to know that if you do feel upset,
You can talk to me and it's okay.
You know, I mean this does stir up feelings
And I totally get that.
This is not gonna be an easy process for you emotionally.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it was pretty tough getting to where we're at.
And I'm wondering how much more tougher
It's gonna have to be trying to,
You know, muddle through.
- Yeah, I think there's gonna be a lot of work
In front of you over these next several days,
A lot of emotional work, not just, not just physical labor.
But you're gonna have to be willing to tolerate
And cope with some of the emotions that come up with that
And I'll be there to help you with that.
- [jim] okay.
- And let's talk logistics.
The next step is I'd like to take you outside
And I want you to meet our clutter expert, dorothy.
Now dorothy and her team are the ones
Who are gonna be actually removing things from the house
And letting you decide about what kinds of things to keep
And what to let go of.
Let's go out and meet dorothy,
All right? - Okay, let's go.
I'll follow you.
- Dr. Tolin. - Hello, dorothy,
How are you? - Hello, hello.
- So good to see you. - Good to see you too.
- And I have somebody I'd like you to meet.
This is jim.
Jim, this is dorothy.
- [dorothy] I'll wait for you to,
I'll one of these.
Hi hun, nice to meet you.
- [jim] pleasure.
- I'm dorothy breininger.
I'm a professional organizing expert
And I specialize in hoarding.
And for you, I'd like for you to meet digna.
- Hi digna, how are you? - Digna, this is dr. Tolin.
- Dr. Tolin, nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you.
- The two of you know, each other already of course.
- Hi jim. - We've been introduced.
- How long have you known each other and?
- Five or six months. - About six months, yeah.
- Okay, okay, great.
You had a little tour inside, yes?
- We went through and I'll be interested
To get your take on it when you go through.
- I actually have been in.
So I'm going to be taking digna in next
'cause you've never been inside.
Is that correct? - No.
- Do you have anything you wanna say
About the inside of your house before digna goes in?
- Be careful.
- Be careful, yeah. - Yeah.
- So why do we get going and head inside, all right?
- As I'm preparing to go into the house,
I'm feeling a lot of anxiety.
I'm kind of scared of what I'm truly going to encounter.
(intense music)
Oh (beep).
Oh my gosh.
Dorothy, what's the smell?
- It's cat urine and
Maybe some dog poo.
You know, over the years.
- [digna] it's getting to my eyes.
- [dorothy] so you're telling me
You're starting to shake already?
- [digna] yeah, I'm starting to shake already.
- [dorothy] tell me what that's about.
- [digna] it's unbelievable that somebody
Can live like this.
- Digna and I are inside the hoard.
We're not that far in,
I'm just introducing her to the space.
You said your eyes were burning a little?
She's feeling her heart palpitating
She's so nervous going in.
How is it that you are strong enough or committed enough
To this person, jim,
To come in and help him with this kind of a situation?
- Oh, dorothy, I'm touched.
(digna sobs)
(sad music)
- Oh, oh honey.
- And I was just gonna help with what's outside
Because that's what we're supposed to do,
We're supposed to help each other.
- [dorothy] oh gosh, oh my.
- [digna] no, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, it's okay, it's okay, honey.
It's okay.
Thank you for telling me how you feel.
- This is it's awful.
I can't breathe, I don't know how you can breathing here
And my chest is starting to hurt,
My eyes are burning and that's from the urine
That you say, you know? - Yeah, I'm so sorry.
- The cat peeing in the house.
And I mean, how can you live like this?
How, how can you not know that it is not right?
- Yeah.
Most people come in and go, wow, I can't believe this
And almost get angry,
But she went inward and just was shaking.
I really feel you're shaking and you're worried
And your tears.
She just couldn't understand this.
Let me do one of these, okay?
Come here, it's okay, it's okay.
She is so overcome with physical and mental duress
That we can't even take a tour of the rest of the house.
Like that was all she could do.
She's feeling a little dizzy, okay?
- Okay. - Yeah, yeah I'm dizzy.
- You all right, digna?
Well, so you've had a chance to look inside the house
And digna, be really curious to get your reactions.
- Well, I've never been invited to his house,
Inside the house.
In fact the only thing I met
Was the outside of the house.
And I was overwhelmed with the outside of the house.
Going inside the house, the smell was overwhelming,
The burning in my eyes,
I don't know how he could live like that.
I don't understand it.
- Well must be conditioning.
- And you know, I started to get very nervous.
- [david] what was making you nervous?
- Because I felt I'm being closed in.
- Yeah. - You know,
I'm losing my freedom.
My freedom of movement.
- It's pretty claustrophobic in there.
- [digna] yes, yes.
- She was having an anxiety attack.
- And I was happening an anxiety attack.
- Sure, I can understand that.
You feeling okay now?
- Well, I'm still kind of nervous.
I'm still kind of nervous.
- You still feel nervous? - Yup.
- Okay, what's your thought about digna's reaction?
I mean, she really got pretty upset in there.
- And yeah, I'm pretty upset.
But that doesn't do any good, so.
- What are you feeling upset about, jim?
- Well, what I'm feeling upset about
Is the fact that she's feeling upset
And that's, you know, not good.
That's not right.
- This is hard on everybody.
You know, it's not just one person who's suffering here.
It's you, it's your daughter,
It's those around you.
- I know I spoke to elesha one time and she,
When I was talking to her about the outside and she says,
Well, it's not any better in the inside.
And I said, well, elesha and I asked her,
I said, do you tell your father?
And she says, I have, d, I have,
But he does what he wants to do.
He's not gonna listen to me.
- What's interesting is to know that you,
I think you feel comfortable in the house
The way it is, right jim?
- It's an adaptive thing, I'm adapted.
- You're adapted, so you're comfortable there
And yet I went in with digna and I watched her go from,
You know, chatty to having absolutely nothing to say,
To literally her hands were shaking that much,
An anxiety attack, tears, crying, worry, concern.
I mean, it was just like, it happened that fast, you know?
So I mean, there's a big difference
Between how you both see this situation for sure.
- Yeah. - But jim came
To my home and you adapted very well.
- Yeah. - You adapted very well
And my home is not like yours.
(jim nervously chuckles)
- But you're kind of laughing, jim,
But I wonder if that's part of the deflection.
- Yeah, that's me just saying, you know,
I would rather laugh than cry.
- Yeah, well, you know,
This is gonna stir up a lot of emotions
I think in everybody
And I think we're seeing just a bit of that today.
- I mean, I'm real sorry, jim,
That you live like that.
I am, I really am.
(digna cries)
- [jim] come on.
- This is terrible that you can,
I don't even know how you can sleep without,
'cause you gotta breathe, you gotta inhale
And your eyes are burning.
I don't understand how anybody can live like that.
- Well.
- I get a sense that digna's
Really worried for you, jim.
And I'll tell you, I am too.
- Yeah, me too. - Yeah, you're worried?
- Well, of course. - Okay,
So we're all feeling kind of worried
About this. - How could I see
All this anxiety and be the source of it
And not be concerned?
- These are your latter years.
You're not supposed to die like this, jimmy.
This is not the way you're supposed to go.
You're supposed to go golfing or go doing,
Going to the movies or going to dinner
Or going these things, but not like this.
- You know, there's a crisis
With her heart right now, yeah?
There's a little crisis and we have a big crisis
To deal with for you, right?
- The fix is here.
- I'm ready to really help you with this.
- That's really great and I appreciate it.
- [dorothy] you're gonna be okay with this?
Gimme those hands.
I'm gonna be tough on you sometimes.
- Oh yeah, well you're right. - And I'm old him,
I told him that when they come out here to help him,
I said, james robert, you better cooperate.
- [dorothy] there's a lot of stuff here
That you're attached to,
Right? - Yes, of course.
Yes, yes, yes. - So that's where
The big work is gonna happen, sir.
- And I'm afraid that he's gonna think I'm crazy.
- I don't think you're crazy, jim.
But I think you're suffering
And I think you're stuck in a particular pattern
Of doing things that hasn't worked for you.
- That seems to be the case.
- So the big challenge over these next several days
Is gonna be for you to do things differently
And I'm gonna challenge you to do that
And dorothy's gonna challenge you to do that.
We're gonna have to get you outside of your comfort zone
And get you doing things that are hard,
That don't feel so good,
But you're gonna have to work on tolerating those emotions.
I think it's gonna be a challenge
To get him to honestly face his emotions,
To recognize that his behavior is out of control
And to make a conscious reason decision
To do something different.
I think if you can do that, we're gonna be very successful.
But if he can't, I don't know if we're gonna get very far.
(sad music)
- Good morning, everyone.
- Good morning, dorothy. - Good morning.
- Well, thank you.
Thank you so much, digna.
Listen jim, we are all here to help you
And we want to acknowledge you
As being a vietnam veteran.
- Thank you. - So I'm going to address you
This morning as corporal jim, all right?
And this is your platoon.
Here is dr. Tolin, he's one of your platoon leaders,
I'm your other platoon leader
And everyone here is reporting for duty, right?
So jim, we are here for you. - Reporting for duty.
- That's just a little bit of levity
To get our morning started.
We also wanna meet the family.
So elesha, you are jim's daughter.
- Yes I am. - Yes.
Digna, you are jim's friend.
- [digna] yes I am.
- [dorothy] and d, you're the daughter of digna.
- [d] yes, I am.
- We also have larry, which is your brother.
He's not here right now,
But he'll be joining us a little bit later, right?
- [jim] I hope so.
- Me too. - Me too.
- Thank you, dorothy.
And jim, good to see you this morning.
Jim, I wanna check in and see how you're feeling today.
How you doing?
- Well I'm doing pretty good,
But most of my muscles are camped out somewhere else.
- Okay, well you're not gonna need
A whole lot of muscle power today,
But you are gonna need brain power
And part of what you and I are gonna be working on
Is decision making
And we're gonna have to work on attachment to objects.
Now that's gonna stir up some feelings for you
And I don't want you to shy away from those feelings.
That's part of overcoming the problem.
So I'll be working with you on processing what's going on
And really kind of taking a hard look
At what you're doing, okay?
So I'll be challenging you, gently of course,
But I will be challenging you to think differently,
To do things differently
Because if we keep doing the same thing over and over again,
You just end up with more of the problem.
Make sense?
- Absolutely. - Okay.
So elesha, you live here too.
If we don't clean it up, what happens to you?
- Well, first of all, he'll lose the house.
- [david] yeah.
- And where I'm concerned,
I kind of feel like I will lose my dad.
- You lose your dad? - Yeah.
- How so? - 'cause I can't live here.
I can't live here like this
And I have made emotional pleas to him
Over these last three years.
And I've been rebuffed and ignored and not heard
And that's hurt me deeply.
- I see. - But I can't be here anymore.
I just can't for my own health and wellbeing,
I can't. - Okay.
So there's really a lot at stake here.
- Yes, there is.
- Okay, so we've got our work cut out for us.
Let me kick it back over to dorothy
Because I wanna get a sense of kind of thinking
Really pragmatically about what's your game plan?
- Yeah. There is so much to do, not just on the inside,
But on the outside,
Because that's where the crisis lies with the city.
We do have a tactical plan in place.
We're going to start this morning
By dividing the outside property into four quadrants, right?
So we're gonna do the front yard,
The two side yards and then the backyard, all right?
And we're going to group like with like,
Metal with metal,
You know, tools with tools.
We're going to group them into like categories.
Okay, ready to go?
- Let's go. - Let's do it.
- Get at it. - All right.
- All right everybody,
We're going to put up the categories,
We'll tape it to the house or something.
Metal's gonna go over here and you're gonna see,
We want all the tools and tool boxes to go to the backyard.
So just start a pile,
But make sure you communicate to everybody else.
I have electronics, I have whatever, okay?
So are you ready to go?
- Yeah. - And just say dorothy
When you have a question.
(lively music)
- [woman] is this metal?
- [jim] it was a toolbox at one time.
- [dorothy] clothes and bags to the backyard,
All in one spot.
That's gonna go with dollies and things like that.
So put it over that way.
(intense music)
- We wanna help.
How can we help? - You wanna help?
- Yeah. - Beautiful.
Who else you, your?
- [d] mommy, mommy, come on.
- Come on in digna.
Thanks d.
Digna and d, what we're doing is clearing this side
Over here, - this side over here?
- And we're starting to organize.
So you could call one of us to take something away,
But go ahead. - All right, give me five.
- Let's go, let's go. - All right.
- [david] hey jim, it's getting real, isn't it?
- It's really getting real.
- So you know you've got a lot of people
Handling your stuff.
How are you feeling right now?
- Uneasy, although thankful, okay.
- So what feels uneasy about it?
- Well, the uneasy part is the fact
That I'm still kind of concerned
About how it's all gonna wind up.
- What do you mean?
- Well you know.
(jim laughs)
- Oh, you're laughing again.
- Yeah, yeah well. - What's your concern, jim?
- Well, I'd like to think
That most of it was worth keeping,
But obviously that ain't gonna work.
- That's the old way
Of thinking, isn't it? - Yup,
That's the old way of thinking. - That all this is worth
Keeping and we're gonna have to shift out of it.
- Yeah, yeah, gotta get outta that gear.
- Recognize that this stuff is in your way.
It's not helping you.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- This indeed is my first paint shaker experience.
(jim laughing)
- Ah darn, it was a much better condition
When I covered it up.
- [dorothy] is this a keep?
- Well, yeah, or it's a keep and sell.
- Okay, can it go? - No, I paid $500 for it.
I hate to just throw it away, but--
- It is actually in the ground or is it?
- No, no, it's on a base. - Can we lift it?
- [jim] it just hasn't been moved for quite a while.
- It's in the ground, jim.
- [jim] nah, here, let's see here.
- [dorothy] oh, thank you.
- [jim] kind of a big base.
- [dorothy] it's a big base, thank you, all right.
- It's coming handy and of course
When I was doing my roof coating,
I was also doing some painting and you know,
Put a couple of buckets of paint in there,
Let it shake for five minutes, like new.
- Isn't that great? - Yeah.
- Isn't that great?
You gonna do a lot of painting now
Going forward in life? - Well yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, it sure beats stirring.
- [dorothy] dr. Tolin.
- This is one of those situations
Where we have to think about the old way
Of thinking of things versus the new way
Of thinking about things. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I think the old way of thinking about things
Is that you need to hang on to everything
Because it might come in handy.
- Yeah, that's, well what about
Maybe I should try to sell it.
How about that? - Yeah, I mean I think
If there's some way of getting it outta your house
And getting it off your property,
I think that that makes sense.
- Can we put it in the backyard and call it
A sales pile?
- We're gonna have a section whereby perhaps
We can have someone come by,
Look at it and give you a price
On things. - That's a thought.
- That would be great.
It would be nice if we could get 'em out
While we're here, wouldn't it?
- But that's the whole intention.
- I gotcha, I gotcha. - You're right, you're right.
- Yeah, I think we're gonna come across lots of things
That are like this, jim,
That there are things that are gonna be useful,
That you feel attached to
But the fact of the matter is it's all part of the barricade
That gets between you and the life that you really want.
- [jim] that's true.
(intense music)
- I feel like telling her why don't she get up
And why don't she contribute
And coming over here and clean up.
Elesha, why don't you come over here and contribute?
Since you say that we don't help,
Why don't you come over here and help?
Get off your ass and come over here and help
(sad music)
Elesha, come and help.
- [jim] she's keeping larry company.
- [d] she doesn't need to keep larry company.
- [digna] jimmy, quit making excuses.
- [d] come and help.
- Right from the get go,
D is being aggressive toward elesha.
Now I know that elesha's got a bad back
And that's why she's sitting down,
But that appears very frustrating to d.
So what's going on right now?
- I'm frustrated with her.
- [david] what's frustrating you?
- She says that nobody's here to help her,
That her father has her this way,
That she's living in this mess,
That she's never had any help,
That we've always done is done on the contrary
And I told her we're here to help,
We're here to help.
Not one time have I seen her try to help,
Help her father.
There's plenty of times she could have come out here.
She could have picked up some garbage,
But look where she's at.
Look where she's at.
- [david] so tensions are really running high here.
- Oh absolutely. - Okay.
- Absolutely. - Okay.
- And I'm ready, I'm ready.
I'm not that type of person, but I'm ready.
- [david] what are you ready for?
- I'm ready if she's ready to get ugly with me,
I'm ready to put her in her place.
- All right, so let's stand down on this
Because I think that that ultimately
That's probably not gonna help the situation very much.
- No, it's not. - Yeah.
For now, I'd love to see that get tabled
So that we can just kind of keep focused on the task.
We are all supposed to be working toward one common goal.
The aim of this is not to have a bunch of drama
And fight each other.
The aim is to clean this house out
So that jim and elesha can save the house
And be safe and healthy in their own home.
(intense music)
- So if I can get all of you to come
And just have a little conversation with me
'cause I'm worried .
If we leave it like this
Or anything remotely close to this...
- Yeah, yeah, it's still gonna be a problem.
- You are going to have another lien on your property
And this project will have been for nothing.
Let's start with one of the big questions.
Just it's the hardest one,
It's the number one thing on your list, tools.
And if you look here, we have got an entire row
Of like 100 boxes, bins,
Tool boxes, all of tools.
- Yeah. - I know you can't
Use all the tools.
- Oh I can, but will I?
- That's the thing. - All right.
So how do we make decisions here?
I mean, just take a look and say,
I'd like you to point to five that you'll keep
And say bye-bye to the rest.
- Well, I'd rather do it the other way.
(jim laughs)
Let me point it five that we need to get rid of.
- Five isn't gonna do with though.
- Well, that's a starting place.
- Of course it is.
Jim, - yeah?
- You can just point to anything out here.
Go ahead point to anything
And we'll take it away.
- [jim] this thing, I guess I could give it back
To the village or to the, what do you call it?
The thrift store.
- We're not gonna give this back to the thrift store.
They don't want stuff
That's ruined. - They may not want it.
Okay, it's trash. - Okay, that's gonna go.
- Jim, let's give all this to the dumpster.
- [jim] to the dumpster?
The dumpster don't need it.
- All of this to the dumpster jim.
Seriously, all of this to the dumpster.
Let's just tell them, take it, okay?
Jim, this is garbage.
The lot of it is rotten, okay?
You still have plenty here that we need to get rid of.
So let's not look anymore.
Come on, let's keep on moving.
- [jim] wait, wait, wait.
- Let me jump in here if you don't mind
Because ultimately jim does have to learn
How to make this decision
So that the problem doesn't come back.
But I think what d is saying makes a lot of sense,
That a lot of this stuff seems to be waterlogged,
Rotten, milddewy. - True.
- And I'm wondering if you could just look at the pile
And say, yeah, I don't need that stuff.
- Almost, this bag is too good to throw away.
This is for my bicycles,
But darn you know.
- [david] yeah, but have you used it recently?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
We've been keeping the bicycles under it.
- It wasn't on no bicycle.
It wasn't anything.
It was on over a piece of rock over here.
Okay, you don't even know where it was at.
- [jim] well...
- Come on jim, we gotta move.
We gotta move, jim.
- [david] so jim, what's your decision on this pile here?
- [jim] well, I guess we're saying get rid of it.
- Yes. - But jim, jim,
I see you say let it go
And then I see thinking through the pile.
- [digna] you're digging,
You're picking. - You're digging, jim.
- You're picking. - Come on, jim.
- Well hell. - Come on.
- That was a good bag. - Let's go.
- It was but again remember jim,
You don't need these things in your
Life right now. - Yeah, you don't need that.
- [jim] well, this ground cloth is brand new.
- [david] it is, but you don't need it in your life.
- The thing is I just took a quick count,
There were 20 items here, okay?
It took about five minutes to go through them.
My count says you've got about 10,000 items back here
To deal with.
There's no way we can have that long of a discussion
Over a pile. - Wait, wait, wait,
That holster I need.
- Hi, dr. Tolin. - Hi, dorothy.
How are you? - It's so great
To talk to you because nobody's listening to me over there.
- I'll listen to you.
- [jim] let's get rid of the wheelchair.
- All right, good job. - Good job, okay, good job.
- [jim] I guess it's sat around long enough.
This box I do wanna keep.
It has what do you call it?
Sentimental value.
- [dorothy] no, it's all rotted.
- [d] it's molded, it's all gross.
- [dorothy] ugh, this is sentimental?
- [jim] it was.
- [dorothy] but look what's happened.
- [jim] yeah, yeah, yeah, well...
- [david] what do you think about this stuff, elesha?
- [elesha] I think it's had its day.
- I think it's had its day as well.
Do you need to rifle through all of it?
- [jim] no, no, no.
- [david] no, you don't need to do that.
- Put it back in there, jim. We don't need that.
Just put it back there. - You don't need that, jimmy.
- [jim] no, I need the box.
- [digna] no, that box is not even working.
Look it's even broken, okay?
- It's not broken. - It is, jim.
Look at that, jimmy. - It's got four latches.
- No jim, it's no good. - No jim, get rid of it.
- This is a military box. - Look, it's got bugs
And everything.
- [jim] I buy it for 50 bucks
And then they just throw it away.
- Yeah, okay, so I hear what you're saying, jim.
Let's pause here for a second.
I hear what you're saying,
But I think it's important for us to recognize
That there are gonna be lots of things here
That are potentially useful
And that you did pay good money for
And you gotta let 'em go anyway
Because it's in your way now.
Is that all right, jim?
Can it go? - Yup, it's going.
- [jim] well, I guess it's going if it's going.
- Thank you, jimmy. - Is that all with you?
- No, it's not all right with me, but you know.
- [david] well, do you want me to hold 'em?
- Well, well...
- [digna] let's go, let's go over here.
What says jimmy, what about this?
- We gotta slow it down a little bit.
Jim, let me go,
Let me have you go back to this box
Before you go into this one. - Yep, yep, yep.
- I want you to make the decision
And I appreciate digna and d your efforts here,
But ultimately jim's gotta make the decision.
Is it okay, jim?
Can it go?
- Well that one's too valuable.
- If we throw this away without your clear consent,
You're gonna feel really regretful and resentful later on
And I don't wanna
Start that process. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I want to hear from you, yes, let it go.
I need space in my life.
I need comfort for myself and for my daughter.
- Yeah, comfort's nice too.
- [david] yeah?
I need to keep my house.
- Yeah if possible. - That's what's at
Stake here, right?
- Well, that's ultimately what we're talking
About I suppose. - It is
And isn't that more important than this box?
- Possibly.
- Possibly? - Yeah.
- Possibly?
Well, darn it.
- [digna] possibly?
- This is one of the problems that I've had
And that I've noticed with my dad
Is that he's choosing things over people.
Things over a relationship - it's not over people.
- With me and that needs to stop, dad.
Things aren't that important.
(intense music)
- Jim, - yeah?
- Are you listening to kind of what elesha's saying?
I mean she's basically saying,
She thinks you're choosing this stuff over her.
- Well, you know, I guess she can say that,
But that's not the truth.
But the truth is I want 'em both.
Should be able to understand - but this is the problem
- That I need-- - is you can't have
Them both, right?
You can't have all this stuff and keep your daughter safe.
- And yourself, dad. - And yourself safe.
- [elesha] this is your house,
This should be a place of comfort.
- This is where you have a choice to make,
Do you want all the stuff
Or do you want you and your daughter to be safe?
(intense music)
- I woke up one day and said,
"where all this stuff coming from?"
I am a hoarder.
- How can you live like this?
How, how can you not know it's not right?
- If we don't clean it up, what happens to you?
- Well first of all, he'll lose the house.
- Yeah. - I kind of feel like
I will lose my dad.
- Elesha, why don't you come over here and contribute?
Get off your ass and come over here and help.
- [dorothy] good morning to all of you.
- Good morning. - Good morning, dorothy.
- Morning dorothy. - Good morning.
- Welcome back, we had quite a day yesterday, yes?
- Yes. - Oh yes.
Yesterday was a big challenge.
- And we wound up finishing about 15% of the outside.
We're here for four days.
If we go at that pace by day four,
We will only have completed 60%
Of the outside of the property.
That means-- - that means that inside
Ain't gonna get done.
- That means the inside won't get done
And it means we won't even comply with the city--
- We're not moving fast enough
And you're gonna be homeless.
We've got to move.
If it's important to you,
Then you've got to make those decisions.
- Let me hear from everybody here
And I'd be really curious to get your sense of yesterday
And I wanna know how well did we
Work as a team yesterday?
And by that, digna I mean you,
D I mean you, elesha,
How well did the team work together
Toward a common goal yesterday?
- Well, I've got no complaints.
Everybody really hung in there and were happy
And eager and energetic.
- We were trying to be happy.
We're energetic all right
And we were trying to push you to get going
Because we were limited.
We are concerned for you.
For you, jim.
So we are pushing and we are trying to get it
'cause we are on a time limit.
We're on a time limit.
- And the time is quickly disappearing.
- With all due respect, I have to say,
We were trying to be a team
And we have one person who's the key here
And she absolutely is showing all the resistance.
- [david] who are you referring to there, d?
- To his daughter.
- Elesha? - Absolutely.
- I'm at a point now that they really do not need
To be here now.
This is not their concern. - Come on now,
They're the best cheerleader
We could possibly have. - You have got some nerve.
You have got some nerve, elesha.
- This man is my father.
You need to go.
- You need to go.
(people talking together)
- [david] hang on, let me, let me call a time out here.
Elesha, stay with us if you will.
- You've got some audacity.
- We need to stifle this conflict.
- Oh it needs to be. - Now I'm not gonna be able
To fix this in the amount of time that we have,
But I need us to recognize that we're all here for one goal
And that is to get jim's house clean and healthy
And comfortable and safe, right?
- Absolutely. - Absolutely.
- And if we're gonna be infighting,
We're not gonna get there.
So we really need to put a damper on this
And we need to have a cease fire.
- This morning, I come in to say good morning
To everybody here because we are all here.
I say, good morning to this
And she says, don't even go there.
What is this? - I said to not
Even bother. - This is a ritual.
This is a ritual, jimmy. - Given our relationship
- Put your hands down. - And the conflicts,
Your presence here even right now,
Given the things that - you're present.
- Have happened, - don't tell me.
- This is my family. - You lack respect.
- You are not welcome here. - If it's your family, you
Should have took initiative. - You should have
Done something. - Okay, guys.
Guys, guys. - You are not welcome here.
You are not welcome here.
- We're not gonna yell our way out of this problem.
There's no way that you're - you should have
- Gonna get over this. - Taken initiative.
- [d] it's not making it worse, jim.
- Okay. - Even your appearance,
She lives here with you. - D,
D, stand down.
You're over the top.
This needs to come down a little bit.
Digna, stand down.
This is over the top.
We can't be infighting like this
If we're gonna get any progress done.
D, you still with me?
I see that you've physically turned away from me.
- Bring it back. - Body language is
Pretty last and clear there, d.
Can you stay in and be part of the group?
Can I get you to bring that down a little bit d
So that we can work together as a team?
- I'm done and actually, I really wanna go.
- This group meeting has obviously ground to a halt.
So I need to go and talk with elesha
And find out what's going on with her.
Hey, elesha, how you doing?
- I'm very, to be quite honest, I'm very upset.
- Yeah, that was quite a show back there.
- Yes, it was.
They have a history of doing this,
Where they control the conversation,
Where they micromanage every little thing.
Like they have the right to be here.
- [david] yeah.
- I cannot stand bullies.
- Yeah. - Absolutely,
I cannot stand bullies.
- I think it's important for you to find your voice here,
To be able to stand up for yourself.
I mean, obviously I want d and digna
To stop just picking on you
And I want them to just leave you alone,
But it's important for you to find your voice there,
But also to find your voice with your dad,
To lay down the law and say, this is what I require, dad.
This is what you, this is what I need you to do
And let him hear it. - Right.
They are unrelenting.
- Yeah, I've noticed there's sort of a badgering.
- I'm like and I've encouraged my dad to
Ask for a minute to breathe. - Hi jim.
- Yeah.
- In the middle of all that happening then
Yesterday and today.
To ask for a moment of relief from that
Because you haven't been willing to do it for me
And they have attacked me.
- Yeah. - They haven't attacked you.
They just-- - yes they have.
- They really have.
They're really going after elesha.
- Well yeah, they do disagree that's for sure.
I'm thinking, you know,
Since we've got plenty of able bodied help,
You know, maybe you better deck out
Because we don't want - really?
- Any more friction.
- [d] wow.
- Well-- - on the contrary,
We've always done good for you.
- Yes, you've been very good for me and I do appreciate it,
But, yes I do. - No, you don't.
- No, you do not. - No you don't because
You're telling us to leave. - No you do not.
Look how you're standing right here
And telling us to deck out.
- Well that sounds-- - I would never say
Such a thing like that.
I will take a stand as a father and tell my daughter,
You need to back off.
- I guess I'll have to take it up a notch.
That is my daughter's got to stay
And you've got to go.
- I don't want you in my life.
You are ungrateful. - You need to leave.
You need to leave right now.
(elesha and digna yell) - get out of our face.
I've had enough. - Get out of our face.
- [digna] get outta my face.
- Okay digna, it's you who's in elesha's face.
Jim and elesha, why don't we head
For the backyard, all right? - Okay
And thank you for all you did.
- [digna] shut up, jimmy.
- [elesha] seeing my dad support me in that confrontation
With digna and d.
- My daughter's got to stay and you've got to go.
- [digna] I don't want you in my life.
- That meant a lot to me.
That meant a lot to me
And it kind of helps me refocus
And zero in on what's really important
And that's just clean up and getting this done.
- The best idea that I have right now,
It's changed several times,
But is to clear this area back here.
Get the big items out and onto the truck where we can,
Onto the dumpster.
But we wanna stack some of the things
That you're going to keep.
Will that work for you?
- Well, I guess I should say it will have to work for me.
- So what we'd like to do
Is have you point at large items that can go.
Jim, what about this piece right here?
- [jim] oh, well that's my carport.
- But the carport stuff is over there.
- Well that's the other carport.
- Am I allowed to confront you?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Can I confront you?
- Sure, sure, sure. - In not in a mean way, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But we were supposed
To be in and on your house this morning.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah and we almost made it.
- We're nowhere near it, jim.
- [jim] well, I'd like to think we almost made it.
- [dorothy] no, we're nowhere near it.
- Yeah. - Can you pick one
Of the carports to keep so that we can,
We have to eliminate stuff here.
I can't keep it all.
- I traded a $5,000 trailer for that aluminum carport
And this one I paid 500 for.
I don't really wanna-- - yeah jim, I'm gonna say
That basically you're probably going to be giving away
Or throwing away - a lot of stuff, yeah.
- At least $100,000.
- Looks that way. - And you need to just
Come to terms with it.
- Gotta come to terms for it.
- You spent it, it's ruined in many cases.
So pick and choose stuff you want right now.
- Well then let's get rid of the $500 carport
And let me keep my $5,000 carport
And I'll hope like hell I can put the thing up.
- All right, thank you.
This is plastic? - Yeah, yeah.
Those that's just, what do you call it?
Vinyl siding. - All right, so that's
Not metal, can we send it out?
- [jim] well, I guess we might as well
Because I was saving it to put on the carport
Or the vinyl carport. - Ding, ding, ding, ding,
Ding, ding, can we get a round of applause?
We're getting some headway here.
This is good, this is good.
So tell me what's going on under here.
(intense music)
- It's a metal cabinet
That is not as well protected as I thought it was.
But I still wanna keep it
Because I wanna put it under the car port
When I get the car port up.
- What I wanna do is discourage you
From having more things to put under the carport to store
Because-- - okay, get it out of here.
- Thank you so much.
(everyone applauds)
Larry, how do you think jim is doing today?
I mean, this is a new behavior.
- [larry] definitely new.
- Definitely new, you've not seen this
From him before, right?
- I have not seen this amount of willingness
To change from him.
- How are you feeling about your dad's performance here?
- I can see him struggling a little bit to be quite honest,
But he's making progress. - I'm struggling a lot.
- [elesha] he's making steps and that's,
That's an important part of the process
Is at least those steps in that right direction.
- Okay, okay.
- [elesha] I'm impressed with that.
- Oh well, you know, gotta give and you gotta take.
- Jim, you're-- - and like you said,
Yeah, I'm gonna be out $100,000 by the time this is out,
But hey, it's only money.
- It's not just back here,
It's gonna be what's inside too.
- Oh god, that's another $100,000.
Okay, well-- - I mean you are, okay,
So let's just call it what it is,
Quarter of a million bucks
Gone. - Quarter of a million, yeah.
That would've been a nice ira.
How come I didn't keep that damn money?
- We all ask ourselves that.
Like, what was I thinking?
You know and some of it,
Some of it was that old resentment
And resistant to the city.
- [jim] yeah, that's true.
- Like you almost built up more than you needed
To prove them, right?
So let's fix it.
The money's been spent,
Let's not have your house taken away too.
Okay, all right. - All right, amen.
(calm intense music)
- Since there's a ton of metal in the backyard,
We set someone up who can come in and make an offer to jim
To see about taking that sheet metal and some new tools.
And as it turns out, jim actually knows the guy.
Hey jim, I've got bailey here.
- [bailey] hey jim, what's up, man?
I see you across the street all the time, man.
- [jim] long time, no see.
- Honest man, handyman, that's his business,
You know each other?
- All right man, so you know,
Most of your tools are automotive tools and stuff.
- Yeah. - Well you only need
So many of those, right?
- True, true. - Yeah, so I picked out,
You know, the gold of the pile
And I hope we can come to a, a deal with this.
So what I was thinking was,
Could you do 50 for that?
- [jim] I got 150 in it, how about 75?
- All right, 75. - And, a.
What about the tool chest?
- Is 150 completely out of the question?
- Oh yeah, man, do 100.
- [jim] well...
- I know it costs you more,
But then it's gonna select some dust sitting around here.
- [dorothy] it already has dust.
Let's be honest. - Well of course,
But everything's got dust on it. - Okay.
All right how about one and a quarter?
- 125?
All right, 125.
$25 for the rest of it.
Yeah, 225 man.
Come on, shake on it. - Okay,
Let's go. - Call it a day.
Ah, there we go, man, whoo.
- [dorothy] hey good, now tell me what the story is
On the metal.
- Alrighty brother.
So it would actually cost me money
To take all this stuff away.
(jim laughing)
I know it sounds crazy,
But it's between labor and stuff
And you know how aluminum and steel
Ain't worth nothing now more?
So-- - well the price
Has fluctuated. - Let him finish.
- Anyways, but as your dear neighbor,
I'll take it off your hands for free.
How about that boss man?
- You'll just haul it away?
- [bailey] yes, sir.
- Well, when can you get around at it
Do you think?
- [bailey] oh right when we finish this conversation, man.
- Well, that's a little quick, isn't it?
- That's why we're here.
Jim, we're supposed to be in your house right now.
- Yeah, that's true. - We're still out here, babe.
You know that. - Okay, yeah.
- Elesha, help me out here.
What have you got to,
What coaching can you give your dad?
- This stuff is going to a good place, dad.
It's gonna be used.
- Yeah, let's see what happens.
All right, so. - It's good to
Learn how to let go.
- When I need a new wrench, I'll come
And borrow it from you then. - Hey man, how about that?
All right man, you ever need to use something,
Just come across the street and holler at me.
- All right, we have a ton of people here
Who can help you with
This, all right? - Okay, that'd be great, yeah.
(intense music)
(metal clanks)
- What's interesting for me is that jim was joking around
A lot less today.
He was a little bit easier to communicate with
And more willing to make decisions.
However, we're gonna push and push until it gets dark
To make sure we get that backyard done.
And I will say 75% of that yard should be available
By the time we're done today.
Hopefully tomorrow we can get into the house.
Yesterday, jim allowed me and my team
To completely have control of the backyard.
We made the most of it.
We filled two dumpsters with a third one on the way.
That's pretty good, but we still have more to do back there.
Good morning, good morning to you,
Family, doctor, team members, good morning.
- Good morning, - good morning, dorothy.
- That's a hearty good morning and I'm glad about it.
Today, we have so much to do.
We need to get the yard into compliance
And the entire house is still waiting for us.
So we have got a superior team,
A doctor who's ready to catch you,
But we are going to push you harder
Than we ever have before.
- You know yesterday was a day that I can only describe
As emotionally exhausting.
There were a lot of interpersonal
Fireworks yesterday.
Any regrets about that, jim?
- Most unfortunate and I haven't heard back
From them at all.
And I suppose that I have been marked off
Of their human list.
- [dorothy] you're talking about digna and d right?
- Yeah, digna and d. - They sounded pretty final
In their exit, yeah.
- They are a little overbearing
And a little feisty and fiery.
- I would call 'em beyond feisty and fiery, right?
- That's an understatement.
- I think their behavior yesterday was nasty and vicious.
- [jim] yeah, yeah, combative, yeah.
- Yeah, it was combative.
- My daughter's got to stay
And you've got to go.
- I don't want you my life.
- You need to leave. - You are ungrateful.
- You need to leave right now.
Get out of my face.
Get out of my face!
- You asked them to leave.
Any regrets about that?
- Yeah, I hated to have to do that,
But you know, we've got to have organization.
I can't throw my daughter out.
- Okay, all right.
Just wanted make sure you're still feeling okay
About the process, jim. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's it's all progressing - yeah.
- In a reasonable fashion
And that's what counts. - Fair enough.
Okay, very good.
- Okay team, are you ready with a resounding yes?
- [everyone] yes.
- So let's break out and get to our tarps
And everybody start heading in that is supposed to go in.
(intense music)
- Another box. - Bins coming out.
- [jim] "inner strength", I'd like to keep that one.
- [david] hey jim, how you doing?
Hey elesha, how's the process going so far?
- I guess it's going the way you would expect.
Although I was hoping it would be a little less painful.
- Tell me about the pain that you're experiencing, jim.
- Well, you know,
It's every time I look at a book
And I see something that I felt in an attachment too
When I got the darn book and so.
- I guess one way to think about it, jim,
Is you could sort of ask yourself,
Well, what would really happen if I didn't have this book?
- Yeah, yeah, you're right, - you know, would my life
Be worse off? - You're right,
Nothing's really gonna change.
That's true, that's true. - Nothing's really gonna
Change without it, right?
- And if I haven't read it yet,
That's a pretty good example of the fact
That perhaps I didn't really need it anyway.
- I think you're exactly right, jim.
I think that makes a lot of sense.
How do you feel like elesha is doing, jim?
- [jim] so far pretty good.
I've seen her throw away a few things that I cringe about,
But you know that's again,
We're saying I can do some cringing.
- Do you think elesha knows that you think
She's doing a good job?
(sad music)
- I don't know if I've conveyed it to her well enough.
- Well maybe this would be a time to do that.
- Possibly, I'd like to hope so.
It seems reasonable.
- [david] and what is it you really wanna say to elesha?
- Well, elesha,
I love you, girl.
- I just want to kind of highlight that.
Elesha, does your dad tell you that he loves you often?
- [elesha] in my family, people aren't very expressive.
They're not really big into displays of affection.
- Unfortunately. - So this is kind
Of new for you.
- Very much so but it feels good.
- [david] it feels good to have your dad say that, huh?
- Feels great. - Nice job, jim.
- You know, we've always been standoffish
And we've always neglected to express our feelings.
- Yeah. - And that's not
Especially good, but at least it kept us away
From each other's throats.
- Yeah, yeah, but it also kept you away
From each other's hearts.
- Yeah, that's the negative side.
- Yeah, so what we want to do here is open up space
For the two of you to have a relationship.
- [jim] yeah, that would be nice.
- Still got a lot more work to do.
And I guess one question that I would have for you, jim,
Is you know, you have elesha here
And your brother larry is over there
Kind of sitting there with not much to do
And I'm wondering, would you feel comfortable
Allowing elesha and allowing larry
To make some decisions on your behalf?
Then we could divide and conquer, you know?
- That's an interesting question.
- Can we put him to work? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All right, so let's see if we can get dorothy to come in
And help us with the logistics
'cause we're going from one decision maker
To three decision makers.
- Okay. - Okay, great.
- [dorothy] wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what am I hearing?
What am I hearing?
- So jim has very bravely agreed
To let elesha make some decisions on his behalf
And letting larry make some decisions on his behalf.
- That's wonderful.
Well, we can make that happen.
Elesha, come with me.
Let's get some gloves. - Let's go.
(intense music)
- [larry] um, let it go.
No.
- While they're doing that, I have an idea for you.
So you see there's a whole bunch of bags
That are piled up here.
And I wonder just as a symbolic gesture,
Would you be willing to throw the first bag
Onto the trailer and get it outta here?
- I'll throw the first one and the last one.
- [david] let's do it, come on.
Let's go over this way.
Let's pick one that's not too heavy.
- Oh, this'll do. - Yeah, all right.
Toss it on up there.
- All right, let's go make a run.
- [david] all right.
(everyone cheers)
Way to go, jim. - Bullseye.
- This is really tough for me
Because we're seeing a transformation
In both elesha and jim,
But this is an impossible challenge.
I don't see how we can get the inside done.
Wait a second, what's here?
What have we got, tyler?
- [tyler] there's two guns.
- Okay, stop. - Stop.
- Everybody out.
Everybody out.
We are finding a gun on the average
About one every single hour.
And so, oh, you've got another gun?
- [tyler] I got another gun.
- Stop. - Stop.
- I have to call the gun specialist in.
We say stop, he has to come in, take the guns,
Secure it, tie it, tag it and store it away.
So that is slowing us down for sure.
Okay, let's keep going.
(intense music)
- You know as I've been thinking more and more
About this clean out process,
It's occurring to me
That this is not just about cleaning out a house,
But it's really kind of making space for the two of you.
And the two of you seem like,
Even though you live in the same house,
You've been sort of in your own spaces
And kind of stuck in your own places.
And you know, I thought maybe this would be a time
To connect a little bit
And just sort of talk things through.
Elesha, what do you feel like you need
From your dad right now?
- Just for him to share with me more of who he is
'cause there are parts of himself
I don't think he's ever really shared.
- Well, you know, it's hard for me to talk like that.
And of course my daughter
Is somebody that I'm not accustomed
To expressing myself with or about
Or around, you know, - you're not?
- Because I don't want her to think any worse of me
Than she already does, so.
- Dad. - Wow, now you're laughing,
But I think jim, you just said something really powerful.
What is it that if elesha knew about you,
What is it that she would find out
That would make her think less of you?
- I don't know, I guess perhaps that,
That I'm more of an idiot
And a weakling than I put on, you know?
- Elesha, I don't know if you're hearing
What jim is saying, - absolutely.
- But I mean, he's saying some really powerful stuff here.
- Absolutely. - He's saying that
You would think less of him if you knew him more
And that he's a, - yeah.
- I think he said an idiot and a weakling.
I mean, do you view him that way?
- Not at all.
- How do you view your dad, elesha?
(sad music)
It's okay.
- He's a good guy. - Yeah.
- I didn't defend her from her mother
As much as she thought I should have, that's for sure.
- Yeah. - But--
- This isn't about the past.
We can learn and we can move on.
- [jim] we're coming from there, but you're right.
No point in dwelling on it.
- It's like we are who we are
And we've been where we've been.
We all have our idiosyncrasies, our imperfections,
But we're human.
We're allowed to be flawed.
We're allowed to make mistakes.
- That's right. - And we're allowed
To learn from them and move on.
- Yep.
- [elesha] you know, and what my dad did
Like in his service days,
That was amazing.
- Vietnam was an interesting ride.
- I bet. - I tried to explain to her
What it's like to be on a death March.
You know, where everybody,
All the ammunition is gone,
Everybody's done for
And we still got five miles to walk
To the pickup point.
(jim laughs)
- So what's that laughter hiding, jim?
- I guess it's hiding the fear and the exasperation
And the desperation and the anger
Of an insane situation
That you shouldn't have a bunch of guys in, you know?
There's probably about 12 or 15 of us
And we,
We walked a long ways that day.
And so.
Yeah, but we made it, so you know, we...
There was several of us that couldn't walk
And needed extra assistance.
- Sounds like the war is still very much on your mind.
- Oh yes, it's still there.
You know, there's parts of it
You just can't get rid of.
- You ever get help? - Or I haven't been able to.
- You ever get help with that, jim?
Like through the va?
- Well they've offered to and I've been reluctant
Because you know, I don't want to
Get to the bottom of the slime pit, you know,
And say, yeah,
Yeah, this is me, let's...
Let's talk about the real me,
You know? - Yeah.
You know, elesha, I'm wondering if maybe
That would be an area where you could encourage your dad
To get mental health help
That it sounds like he kind of needs.
- Absolutely, absolutely. - You know?
- I've encouraged that a number of times,
But it was something that he just wasn't ready
To commit to at this time.
- Yeah a lot of people aren't. - Yeah and maybe I should
Go ahead and try that now.
- I think you might benefit from it, you know?
- Yeah, sounds like a good idea.
- To see dad opened up like that, that's rare,
And it meant a lot to me
That he was willing to take that step to,
Just start taking off that mask
That he's worn for so long.
- Elesha, you know your dad better than just about anyone.
What do you think he needs right now?
(jim laughs)
- Yeah, yeah, she's a good girl.
- Well listen, I'm really glad that we were able to talk
And you know, again, I'm really hoping
That we're not just gonna make space in the house,
But that we're gonna make space for the two of you
To have a good relationship here
And that's more important than the stuff.
(calm music)
- This is the last day and I'm totally amped up
Because we still have stuff in the front yard,
We have stuff in the house,
I have jim and elesha working on electronics.
- [elesha] yeah, we need to make that blanket decision, dad.
- Yeah, we're tossing the blanket.
- We're boxing everything else up that's left over.
And I have housekeepers just scrubbing as fast as they can.
We're taking things that we purchased for him
And bringing it into the house.
We're doing everything we can to set this house up
So it looks like a true home for elesha and jim.
Come on in.
- Come, my god, what on earth took place here?
- [dorothy] well, just take it in for a minute.
- [david] jim and elesha, how does it feel
To see your house like this?
- Am I floating?
- This is a dream. - Yeah.
I'm tempted to cry.
My god, this is astounding.
- [david] what makes you feel like crying, jim?
- It was painful, but it's sweet.
- Yeah. - And yeah,
It's really sweet to see things
That I haven't seen for a long time, like walls.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
For it to be so open and airy in the light.
- Yeah, this is a-- - flows.
- This is what I've been missing.
Yeah, this is it.
It looks like new, it's magnificent.
No god, look at the top of the stove.
- [david] now you can actually cook in there
And it's safe. - Yeah, yeah, use all
Four burners. - And it's safe, you know?
'cause I'll tell you, I don't know about you, dorothy,
But I was really worried about that stove.
That's a gas stove,
There was a lot of flammable stuff right around it.
You know, that's not safe.
So now it's a safe space for you.
- Yeah, yeah. - Larry.
- What do you think big guy? - Might you visit?
- [larry] yeah, probably will.
(everyone laughs)
- [david] what do you think about what you seeing, larry?
- I've never seen it like this.
- This was a massive hoard.
We filled six dumpsters, that's 12 tons.
And among all of us as a team,
We worked four months worth of work.
If you add up all the man and women hours,
This is incredible.
I just wanna remind you that we have
Averted the crisis with the city.
You know, those liens are not looming.
You know, this is something that is
A breathing point for you.
- Yeah. - Now one piece
That I do want to talk about a little bit
Is the issue of aftercare.
You know, this is a start,
But I want you to see this is the start of the process,
But not the end of the process.
- Yeah. - Hoarding is a big deal
And it requires treatment.
And a lot of the conflict that you're experiencing
Around the war is also troublesome.
- Yeah. - But you know
The good thing is there are treatments out there
That can really help you.
I've set you up with a private therapist
Who specializes in hoarding,
But also I want to make you aware of the fact
That these services are also available through the va.
Jim, like all of our veterans
Deserves the best care possible
And they can get that care at the va medical center.
And I want jim to make sure that he takes advantage
Of that service.
- Yeah, I'll have to do that. - I actually just sent
A message today to the va.
- That's perfect, I'm really glad you're taking that step
Is making sure that you get the help that you need.
- Our next stop, elesha, is to head to your bedroom.
(calm music)
- Oh my god.
Wow, it's a bedroom again.
- [david] elesha, what's going through your mind
As you look around your new bedroom?
- I feel emotional. - Yeah?
What kind of emotions?
- Excited, thankful,
I'm feeling a lot of gratitude.
I can't put into words how much peace
This whole experience has brought me
And the change I already see in my dad.
It's gonna be a long road, I understand that,
But to see the door open and to see my dad peek through it
Gives me a lot of hope.
- All right, well let's check out one more room, okay?
All right.
- Wow. - Oh my gosh.
- [jim] yeah, I can see the walls and everything.
- So jim, we set up this room as your sleeping room.
- Sleeping room, there you go. - Okay, it's really just
For you to come in and sleep
And have the whole bed to sleep in.
- All right. - The other room is
As it was. - Yeah, yeah.
- And in fact that's where all your guns are stored.
- Right, okay. - So that it's been safe,
You know, so that we could work in the house.
Sleep here, sort and organize over there.
- That's probably a good idea.
- I'm remembering when I first came into the house
And I saw the little sliver of bed that you were lying on.
- The little shelf. - I'll tell you just,
Jim, that broke my heart to see you
Having to live that way and I'm really glad
That dorothy and her team were able to open up
A space for you to sleep and to be comfortable.
- That's amazing.
I'm ready to start living again.
And I do sort of feel like the old boy
That fell into the ditch
And had the good samaritan rescue him.
- I think we can step outside
Because you know I can't help myself.
(jim laughs)
We always have one more little thing that we wanna,
Ah, just one more thing to show you.
So why don't we head outside
And see what we've got? - Okay.
- Come on out. - Come on out.
(triumphant music)
- Post halt.
Right face.
Present flags.
(jim laughs)
Sergeant ellison on behalf of the veterans of foreign wars,
I'd like to thank you for your service in the u.S. Army.
And we would like to be a support to you and your family
At the kannapolis post 8989
If you would be interested in joining us.
- Here, I thought I was just a lonely old veteran
Serving on his own.
- [david] oh, you never are.
- Post, present arms.
Order arms.
Thank you. - Yeah, thank you.
God all mighty.
(man whistles)
(jim laughs)
- [everyone] yay, jim.
- The parade really surprised me.
Yeah, I was stunned.
I wasn't just surprised, I was stunned.
It felt really great for the veterans
To just come in and thank me
And it was amazing.
Group hug.
(intense music)